My Current Writing Struggles | First Drafts, Insecurities, & Disappointment

[@skc446]

I have been writing code for twelve years now, take it from me there is no perfect “code”, yet every day when i go to work I aim to build systems that are perfect. The struggle is real, no matter what I write haha. Thank you for being vulnerable, seldom do we see anyone talk about the struggle. Growing up in a small town in India, where everyone knew each other (yeah, you can call it a village, sure) books were the glimmer of contrast in my world. Singular absurdity of the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy or the crunching paranoia set in by introducing big brother in 1984 were a exhilarating drop of mint in the ordinary river of childhood. The audacity of authors in constructing a hilarious battle between good and bad as good-omens, all the while ducking under an umbrella of religion, was heroic for a boy growing up in an orthodox family. Characters taught me emotions; their journey was mine, their world was mine, until I put the book down. I don't consider myself a successful writer; writing is an axe I picked up countless times to tear down the forest around me, to pave a path to something extraordinary. Writing took a backseat as the financial reality hit the adult me. Little did I know that the definition of success is a wave and not a quantifiable particle. After a career of twelve years making a career in programming, a profession I like, I picked up the axe again, not to tear down the trees eclipsing me, but mould them enough to let the light in. I don't need accolades to revel in the joy of creating life on paper; a distinct world with its own origins; gleefully volunteer as the soul of my characters bleed into my thoughts. It's been a year since I resumed and I am one chapter away from finishing my forty-six chapter novel. I watched every one of your videos trying to be a better story teller. Trying and failing yet persisting at every failure to be better. Thank you for everything you do. 🤍

[@melissamorgan5245]

Reminds me of something I read once (this is an atrocious paraphrase): I didn't learn to write novels. I learned to write this novel. And then I learned to write the next novel.

[@jackhaggerty1066]

Publishers & readers may want the writer to write the same book again; daring writers refuse be trapped by their own success. *I was not interested in just writing another book, it has always got to be some sort of book that has never quite been in the world before.* Frank Sargeson (1903-1982). *Perfectly Frank: The Life of a New Zealand Writer.* KZbin. Henry Green and Elizabeth Jolley never repeated themselves either. I am rereading E Jolley's novel *Mr Scobie's Riddle*. Her voice her own.

[@MasterTow1994]

Sounds like Neil Gaiman

[@mikaelasaskia]

"drafting me is a chaotic little gremlin" i felt this so much with the book I'm drafting right now

[@ShaelinWrites]

drafting gremlins unite!!

[@billyalarie929]

🖐

[@wordcharm2649]

Your chatty videos are amazing. If this format works for you, fantastic. If you go back to writing vlogs, just remember what appears repetitive to you doesn't feel that way to us because we're right in the thick of the process with you so that repetitive nature of writing almost becomes invisible to us. We just like seeing you going through the motions. When you hit a high, it inspires us. "Hey, she did it. I can do it too." And when you hit a low, it reassures us, "Hey, she struggles just like us. Awesome." Vlogs, IMO, are just a way for people to feel less alone. Like we're all in this together.

[@kimberbites]

I definitely agree with all this.

[@kimaya4503]

omg this is tea. I've been struggling with this ALL year. I've been STRUGGLING to commit to projects bc they should be perfect on the first try and as futile as I know that way of thinking is I'm struggling to defeat it 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@ShaelinWrites]

literally!! I know it's a ridiculous thing to expect but yet I keep expecting my first drafts to be perfect and then I get mad at them when they aren't loll

[@PaulStargasm]

Oh I've given up on that this year. Get it down in all its messiness now from start to finish, the the work starts at draft 2. That's my motto now.

[@kimaya4503]

@@PaulStargasm omg ur so right. I'm gonna try this 😭

[@jackhaggerty1066]

@@PaulStargasm Messiness reminds of Francis Bacon's studio which has been transported from London to Dublin, open to the public. *Francis Bacon's Preserved Art Studio* online. What creeps me out about it is that it had no windows, such a lonesome place to work. Graham Sutherland, a better painter in my opinion, had a studio with plenty of light and was not a tortured man like Bacon. Sutherland painted Somerset Maugham in a yellow silk dressing gown. Maugham said, *He made me look like the Madam in a Chinese brothel.* Churchill destroyed Sutherland's portrait of himself. You can see an actor playing Sutherland in the first season of *The Crown*.

[@PaulStargasm]

@@kimaya4503 Ha I wouldn't say I'm right, just trying whatever works to get stuff done. :) There's probably no right or wrong way really. But I have struggled in the past with trying to write that perfect draft and then hitting a writer's block and it ends as a part-written story that's never returned to. At least if I get something down then the outline is done and I can get into the actual writing later.

[@rachelwritesbooks]

The thing you mentioned about feeling like Honey Vinegar was “the end of insecurity” for you is SO relatable, and literally knocked me off my feet when I experienced this recently. I was like, no way will I feel as insecure as I once did with my work-I’ve progressed! And it totally threw my process off because I just couldn’t write without everything being “good” because I was now a “good writer” who didn’t need to feel insecure. Took me till about last year to really understand that my mindset was so rigid about insecurity and progress back then, since these things are ever changing. Progress is nonlinear with writing, which can be such an isolating, devastating experience sometimes. But I’ve been working my way out of it & feeling better about experimenting, like you mentioned! Such a good video.

[@The_Open_Book]

Glad you're making your way out of that feeling of insecurity! Wouldn't it be nice if writing just didn't constantly cycle back to feelings of inferiority and imposter syndrome? Lol

[@ShaelinWrites]

when you 'stop feeling insecure' and it leads to you feeling...more insecure, truly a vicious cruel cycle!!!

[@strawberrymilk2987]

Omg I watch your videos!

[@rachelwritesbooks]

@@strawberrymilk2987 !!!

[@coreyhuffman7607]

@rachel writes it's a wild ride, isn't it? 😂 When I go back to drafting, I just have to remember that, given time, I have it in me to make this piece special, just like the last one. Writing is rewriting, and there doesn't seem to be a way around it.

[@Shardai_smith]

It's so comforting to have someone describe how my own writing process works. Especially since when I go to Twitter everyone is a plotter

[@mishook1411]

I feel like these sessions are therapy for you as well as therapy for me.

[@nocturnus009]

In wet media painting (watercolor, gouache, calligraphy & other varieties of inking) one usually draws the outlines then fills in the textures like a coloring book. There is utility in working in reverse: wash the page in pigment then discovering the induced image inferred in the aether on the page. There are times when painting & drawing inform & illuminate the writing in intertextual ways.

[@osoisko1933]

I might try that reverse method. I need to loosen up. I've been doing a lot of tight linework lately. Need something messy.

[@nocturnus009]

@@osoisko1933 see the Koosje Koene Draw tip Tuesday video on the technique. I don’t want to spam Miss Bishop’s video with someone else’s content, but I imagine you will find a deep dive illuminating. Enjoy!

[@ananeu]

as a fellow writertuber, i completely understand your thoughts at 1:30 - your doing so well, and we all love hearing your thoughts! i wish you the best luck with your writing shaelin!

[@Joe-zk7ps]

So sorry to hear you've been stalked because of your videos. That's messed up! Hope you're feeling safe. I've been so inspired and helped by your videos even when I was down on writing and running into nothing but problems. I wish you the best on your writing - you'll figure it out or the dam will burst! Have faith in yourself.

[@BandersnatchGlass]

Thank you. I’ve been struggling with many of the same issues myself. It’s encouraging to know that I’m not alone in it. Onwards and upwards.

[@rev6215]

Also I keep saying this like every other video like the ~lil creep~ i am.. but another 10/10 perfect hair day for Shaelin 😄

[@naomiparker2502]

Rewatching this and it's so validating. I've been really frustrated with my first draft and it's because of my expectations. Thanks for this!!

[@zenebornman7917]

This is so inspiring. I go through a lot of self-doubt that leads me to procrastination instead of working on my book. The perfectionism sinks in and then I back away, afraid to write again. So knowing other people struggle with similar things, it really helps. ❤

[@heathergonzalez6890]

It sounds also like you and the idea are challenging yourself…reminds me of Dweck’s growth mindset which you got to on your own at the end of the video. Thank you for making these videos. I get so much insight and value about creative writing. I feel like I’m taking a top notch class.

[@greatperhaps7224]

i havent watched the actual video yet but can we just talk about how pretty shaelin is on the cover lol

[@IsabelA-hp9yt]

It will click sooner or later. This from someone who has actually watched your videos for years (and I think the way we work is very much alike). I had my „Honey Vinegar“ last winter, when I wrote a more or less complete, very good first draft over the course of three weeks. This happened only once before and all other books I wrote are very hard to push through with the first few chapters. I realized there’s certain weight the characters pull and if they didn’t spark the idea it needs longer to cook before I can actually write it without thinking too much about it. So maybe the way you questioned your character really was the problem or maybe there is just one little detail that derailed the whole process until now. Good news is, as long as you keep going you’ll figure it out eventually. Also, I like this format better than vlogs anyway :) Thanks for talking at us about your writing process.

[@ShaelinWrites]

I think you're right, that there's just one detail that has either derailed things (or more likely, that hasn't clicked yet) I just can't figure out what it is hahaha

[@IsabelA-hp9yt]

@@ShaelinWrites It’ll happen eventually :) That’s the great thing about novels I think, because we get a lot of space to figure things out.

[@chelseabartlett8082]

This is sooooo relatable oh my god. It's seriously so validating just to hear you talk about this.

[@allgem9615]

this video was great!! really fun and although i really enjoy the vlogs, this was a nice switch up! thanks for sharing your process w us

[@Shardai_smith]

The times I've felt insecure about my writing were times where life prevented me from writing or times where I felt I had to plot despite not writing well when I plot. When I discovery write, I usually love what I write!

[@trillgutterbug9378]

This is so real, thank you for being so vulnerable about your struggles! I am just about to start the first draft of a new novel and am going through very similar doubts. Actually watching this video made me realize that I'm dragging my feet on beginning the draft specifically because of concerns like, "Will this be as good as xyz that I wrote before?" and, "If I can't do it perfectly on the first draft then clearly I've failed to learn anything from my previous projects," and other such nonsense! Thanks for this excellent reminder that mastery of a craft is not a linear process and that every project requires and deserves its own space/schedule to become what it needs to become. 😌

[@maya-gur695]

Oh my god THANK YOU! Every time I struggle with my writing, I feel like I'm the only one who is having those problems and that makes me feel sad and lonely. And then I watch videos like this one and immediately feel better, because they remind me that writing is hard for most writers and I'm not alone.

[@vultureiraq1168]

I feel its hard because of the expectations put onto us on how we should write the story. I feel itd be less draining when I don't think about how you should write a story and more about how I would want to write it since honestly plotlines can be totally different depending on what your aiming for in the story. I honestly feel writing is the most fun when I think there are no rules to follow, just rules to guide you but in the end you can twist the writing rule a bit to fit the story more.

[@AFringedGentian]

I really needed to know someone else was going through the same thing, Shaelin. I’ve been editing and revising for so long but now I’m finally shifting back into creative mode to finish “The Pearl of the Stars,” and I’m so intimidated to begin drafting again. I know now that I’m not the only one going through what you’re going through.

[@bethanycamille5379]

I feel this heavily! Pivoting or taking a much needed break from the project often helps me. I see my creativity like a well: it starts out full, but the more I use it up, it begins to drain. I have to let it refill (take a break) before starting over again.

[@littelman180]

I litterally needed to hear this advice. It's so damn refreshing to see someone talk openly about their struggles with writing and how they worked through it. They are genuinely the best authortuber.

[@kassiespookyandinteresting2327]

By the way you are getting me through so much writes block, youre amazing keep up the awesome stuff you write and post :}

[@sebleblan]

Thanks for taking us through your process!

[@marioksmith]

I guess what you're talking about is art itself. When you think you finally figured it out, reality strikes and reminds you that no, this thing is still above you. You have to constantly relearn and practice, relearn and practice, but hey... Isn't that why we love doing it so much?

[@pjalexander_author]

This is a great video (once again 😊) And it came at just the right time for me, as I'm about to start my sixth book and am feeling daunted by the process. Writing a book is hard no matter how many times you've done it. I'm in the acceptance phase that the first draft will suck. I have to learn that lesson every time. Thanks Shaelin 😊

[@mildren17]

thanks so much, really needed to hear this today!

[@ccbb8115]

i'm working on my first book rn. the issue i'm having is that i _know,_ no matter what, it can only be decent at best. i've written plenty, but never a novel. i don't have a good grasp on pacing, scene choice, so on so forth. those things will come to me in time, but _because_ they come in time, they will not be present for this first novel. something about that hurts because i just love these characters so much, i love their world, i've put so much work in. but simultaneously, it almost calms me down and encourages me to loosen my grip. it'll probably be shit at first anyway, so it's alright if it's imperfect. i really need to learn to just loosen my grip and trust the process lol

[@ImaginationSkyN]

yes, I can relate good authors have very hard professions in america, it is extremely competitive and the best like stephen king & jk rowling have incredible media success that drives sales up, I think poetry is making a major resurgence because of rupi kaur-best seller 8million sales & amanda gorman who makes poetic ambassador speeches at the white house & united nations center, they master the art of drawing powerful emotion from their fans through poetry, learning self defense & using stun guns helps keep fanatic stalkers away

[@PuffPets]

I love this video!! Writer struggles and victories! Do more pleeeeease

[@osoisko1933]

That's horrible you were stalked. I don't blame you for being cautious at all.

[@annasaysthings]

Hey Shaelin, it's totally okay to feel this way. If you've been at it for a while, I recommend hiding what you've written so far away from yourself, and starting from scratch, page one, never looking at your old draft. I delete mine and start 100% over, redoing the plotting and trying different timelines, povse, what ifs. This removes the clutter and leaves you with only your experiences with your characters and the things that are working so far. It increases your speed and brings the excitement back, you might be surprised what a clean rewrite instead of editing can do.

[@edwinleskin3112]

Used to think I pantsed, but listening to you I realize my plots/core characters are normally fully formed in my mind early. Great vid.

[@kelleyiswriting]

I love listening to the way you talk about writing! I think I've had a similar feeling, like oh I did x, y, z in one book, I can avoid it in the next one, but yet every book is different, and I think our personal life is also at a different point and that effects our process/progress too. I like it when you said that the pages read better than it was in your head. WHAT A FLEX

[@ShaelinWrites]

personal life is suchhh a factor and one that I always struggle to account for!! Like those 'oh why is this way harder/easier all of a sudden' moment probably have more to do with my life than the writing itself but I always blame it on the writing haha

[@wordcharm2649]

You've been stalked?? Whoa. I'm so sorry. That's really heavy and terrifying. I had that happen many moons ago when I was your age. It was a college-thing, though, and ended pretty quickly, still, wouldn't wish that on anyone. I'm guessing maybe yours may be related to you having a substantial following online. I hope you're feeling safe and well now.

[@sandbagger1912]

I am struggling with my current novel. The last one went so smoothly, but not this one. I cannot see the end and although I like much of what I have written, I am terrified that it will go nowhere. I am a pantser. Normally, I can see the ending by about the halfway point of the first draft. I'm 46K words into this novel and nothing. Every ending seems so pedestrian, so bland. No plot arc. Just a straight line. No risk and challenge for the characters to overcome. I really like what you said about well-liked scenes not contributing to the overall momentum of the novel. That is exactly what I'm experiencing. Could be that I am writing in a new genre. From first person paranormal dystopian novel to third person romance novel. Kind of a jarring journey.

[@apollomoon1]

People always tell me how lucky I am to have written and published books. I tell them there’s no luck involved. It’s hard work physically and mentally. It’s a world as Shalin described it in the title of this video; first drafts, struggles, disappointments and insecurities. I don’t always think it’s a gift as much as a burden.

[@1ktales]

Well, the *publishing* part of it involves luck if you're trade-pubbing, since the whims of the market are always an issue. The writing is just being able to sit down and commit to it, then hanging in there. Just about anybody can write a book, but most people don't have the follow-through or drive. Not that the writing or editing will be easy for everyone, though. And the amount of revision/editing needed will vary.

[@gamewriteeye769]

On my official first draft finally, with a proper cohesive story to work with. Idk if you write zero drafts or discovery write to find the story, but it definitely helps if you write like a bunch of loosely connected scenes that doesn't have all the narration in between but it does guide a sort of line where you can fish hook the best scenes to create the story. Afterward, it becomes natural(make no mistake coming up with the character voices is definitely difficult-don't recommend multi-first person povs unless you've had tons of practice with the characters). P. S. I'm writing the story linearly from beginning to end since it's 1PP(deep). Wish me luck (got it good though :) good luck with Salt Birds!

[@bethbuckner2928]

Thank you for this. I needed to hear it.

[@leech1355]

I’m glad you managed to talk yourself off the ledge by the end because I was worried we’d be left holding the bag and I for one had no words of wisdom to offer 😂

[@ShaelinWrites]

it's the thought that counts!!

[@The_Open_Book]

Yes! I totally relate to that, feeling like you've grown so much from a previous project that you're holding your next one to such higher standards and then.. it just isn't that smooth, either. I'm going through the same thing. On the last book in my memoir trilogy and I'm just so much more lost than I was on either of the other two, and I thought I could get this done in a snap D: it's very frustrating

[@PsychOnlineAldrian]

Thank you for sharing about your process.

[@BlackHermit]

I love the new style of video! I am enjoying your writing vlogs, but it is perfectly fine if you don't. I will always support you, Shaelin. I think the camera is a bit off focus at Times.

[@MadailinBurnhope]

"it's turning out better than it was as a thought" I need to have that as a fridge magnet

[@shawnlewis9607]

I really appreciate hearing your process. It's such a help. I wanted to reflect one thing which was that you said you weren't allowing yourself to experiment and write crap. And then you talked about being insecure. And maybe those are connected. If you hadn't thought of that already. Thanks for sharing. I'm writing my first novel and it's helpful hearing your thoughts. I appreciate your perspective.

[@o_o-lj1ym]

I like this format!!

[@Ken-e6y]

Hey Shaebutter babe, sitting in your fears and doubts isn't being negative, or unproductive, in my opinion. You'll find a lot more understanding of yourself, and how you want to write your stories by slowing down. Digest, rest, and speak gently to yourself, bud. Not writing that as a "should", but a wish for you. Doubt is also a good sign you're not a narcissist. XD I know you already know this, and feelings are hard to keep in line with our goals, but it's fun fuel for our writing, isn't it. Cheering and supporting you from my state~whoop, whoop~

[@wrigleyextra11]

Saving this video for when all these relationships and moods change later into totally different brilliant craziness, excited to be present at the crucible with you as this wild and weird process starts all over again. Here we gooooo 🌊🌠🎆🌅✌

[@grayson2170]

you reminded me of that buzzing feeling i get when writing a first draft sometimes, like i'm going and writing and suddenly! something clicks and i know what to do

[@mymessynotebook2207]

This is exactly how I’m feeling right now!

[@nejohnsonbooks]

I'm having similar struggles. Except I have so many things I could write, but I don't feel any of them as deeply or passionately as my last project, so I can't decide which to pursue in the hope it will spark my passion.

[@MariJadeWrites]

I am in editing phase too and revisions but all i want to do is draft something 😅🤣 hopefully NaNoWriMo will solve that for me and I'll have fun drafting a new story ☺️ i also tend to figure stories out as i write so i do rewriting a lot later.

[@SuperTbriggs]

I can very much relate to everything you have said, What if my story isn't good enough? Have I put enough depth into my characters? Is the story arcs in line with the genre? Was it a good idea to add this or take away that? yadda, yadda, yadda. I believe that the little fears do effect your writing in a big way but one day I woke up and said to myself that they wouldn't be in control anymore so I crammed them into the back of my mind and locked them away. Every so often one of them tries to escape and whisper in my ear but I kick him straight back to were he belongs. I can see the passion you have for the craft so don't let those little fears win, ever. Good luck with the book and all the best.

[@randomhumancata8280]

this is EXACTLY, word to word what I’m going through with my newest book. are you a mind reader????

[@evalramman7502]

I get those feelings, too. All the time. Like to think it means I'm a quality writer, LOL. Only the hacks feel no fear . . .

[@animehearthd5469]

I personally feel that there isn't a story too flawed it shouldn't be told. Even when we can't see all the pieces or we can't figure out how to move forward, the limit lies within our ability to see this story through, but nothing is beyond fixing. We are the gods in the narrative we're creating, even if it takes drastic measures, there's nothing a god can't potentially fix. Adding elements that'll turn out to be useless, characters that'll eventually feel redundant and can be condensed in a single one, scenes that don't move the story forward but reveal an element of a character that will help you tremendously two chapters down when you least expect it... that's why discovery writing is so complex to me. Anything has the potential to happen, it all lies in our problem solving skills how we can twist and turn a plot to see it to the end. Yesterday I watched Fight Club, and it's one of the weirder movies I've seen, at no point did it do what I was expecting it to, but in the end it all worked. It tells a story, that resonates with people, and does it in a really odd way. I think Honey Vinegar appears better because you've already solved all the problems that arise as you discover the story. But I believe in you, and in your characters, and that all characters potentially deserve their story, it's just a matter of if we want to tell it. You can do it. 💕

[@PaulRWorthington]

Thanks for the Brave and helpful video. I'd guess all your viewers are thinking "Been There!" or "There Right Now!" I'm writing my 5th novel. First was very hard. Second was so easy I thought "Now I've got this down!" Ha! If only I'd known....

[@kassiespookyandinteresting2327]

16:43 Me: *continues to write yandere like relationships and things alike* Yeah i totally get that.

[@DeeBlaregold]

I thought I was the only one that felt like this. And I do believe I am a Panther!

[@anna-sleeps]

I'm not sure this applies to Shaelin (also because I'm not writing to be published atm so I don't feel that kind of pressure), but I've had an epiphany recently about my perfectionism problem -- idk if that makes sense. I notice I usually struggle with perfectionism the most in times when I try to use writing as a safe place / shelter from reality. A times I have work deadlines, I'm under pressure and my loved ones are busy, and my coping mechanism has always been making up fictional stories, so it feels natural to write those down or work on previous drafts to take a break. However, in these situations I don't have the brain energy to write a good draft. My best ideas come when I'm burnt out and dissociating, but my best drafts don't -- they come when I feel curious about writing craft itself and get hyped at the idea of problem solving, which is the opposite of using writing as a safe place. I don't really have a solution for this, I guess I'll just keep hyperfixating on my ideas until I realize I just don't have the energy to develop them in the moment, but I feel this is a distinction that needs to be made

[@AbbeeRambles]

"Unlikable but endearing" is Exactly the sweet spot I'd love to hit with my characters. But like, in an Emma Woodhouse Jane Austen way.

[@jackhaggerty1066]

Nobody would stalk a writer in Scotland, nobody is interested in writers. William McIlvanney described a strange man who kept staring at him in a bar. The man left abruptly placing a note at Willie's table. The note read : *Thanks for the books Big Man.* McIlvanney was once in Vancouver for a year on a Scottish Writers Fellowship.

[@jackhaggerty1066]

Writers keep talismanic objects and images (music, paintings, stones, jewellery, maps & books) to ease them through the first draft. These inspirited items may be directly related to the characters, theme & story. Or marginally related. Or not (yet) related. Hence discovery. Alan Garner drew together a congeries of story material for novels like Redshift, Stradloper and Thursbitch. Deeply interiorised research. They lay on his desk before him as he wrote, or he would listen again and again to Benjamin Britten's War Requiem, Dies irae. Julia Briggs tracked Virginia Woolf's modus operandi : Virginia sought *a secret centre, a private path that would guide her for the rest of her life.* Josephine Hart's *The Stillest Day* (1998) is as spare as all her fiction but I wonder how much messiness she had to go through to get there ? *If a man could pass through paradise in a dream, and have a flower presented to him as a pledge that his soul had really been there, and if he found that flower in his hand when he is awake - Aye, what then ?* Samuel Taylor Coleridge. Read the two volume biography by Richard Holmes.

[@Ken-e6y]

I hope this doesn't bring up anything bad when I mention this, but every time I see your thumbnail I go, "Okay, what's new, Shae-butter." or "Let's go, Shae-nae."

[@AvidCat5000]

Chaos begats Truth. Truth becomes Order. All novels start with a scene. All plots as yet unseen. Chaos becomes Order, writing scenes and realities form. Characters will speak and dance. Natures will bloom and bewilder. All novels start with a scene... mayhap a scene such as this comment, a stranger's scrawlings on a wall, stuttering rainbows and fighting shadows. He doesn't plan on all this but... Chaos begats Truth. Truth becomes Order. All plots as yet unseen. All novels start with a scene. "... a pirates life for me.." (2022)

[@rev6215]

Did you change your camera? The quality in this one is so crisp

[@writethepath8354]

21:42 this. Yes. Si.

[@AdamFishkin]

Stalkers are the worst. I've had to walk anywhere from 3 to 5 extra kilometers on days when they lurk on the periphery. Video evidence of my home base? No thank you. To be honest, you're about to have three novels and two short-story collections waiting in line for publication. If it doesn't feel magical right now, it's because you have other barriers in your way. Bulldoze through all the things that stand between "Honey Vinegar" and public bookshelves, and maybe you'll get more oxygen flow into your creativity?? It's possible. (Disclaimer: This is coming from someone with massive OCD. Seeing my work process through to completion and public exhibition is my only way to prove I deserve to live. For you the stakes likely aren't as high, and your observation about keeping expectations in check from book to book is the factor that makes the most sense.)

[@shelbymcclellan5340]

Hi, I am trying to piece together parts of different incomplete "first draft" versions (of the same story) so hopefully, I'll end up with a completed first draft eventually...any advice on doing this? Is it even possible? Any input would be greatly appreciated, thank you in advance!

[@ShaelinWrites]

I haven't done it myself but it's absolutely possible! I've merged drafts of short stories a couple times and found that going through each draft and pulling the stuff I want to use into a new doc was the most helpful first step

[@Диана-я5э1к]

Man... not a single second of this video that i didn't relate 😭 not the dysfunctional complex off putting character relationship kink i have 👀

[@joshduehr2898]

Maybe try a different genre. You never know what could happen if you don't take a chance.

[@EricaCalman]

I know it's a typewriter but every time I hear the intro to one of these I think it's a 60s computer reading a punch-card lol

[@0Raiin0]

Would you say most of your stories deal with subtextual-incest? Do you think it's the taboo aspect of these unconventional relationships that attract you or something else? What other unconventional relationships exist in your stories? 🙂

[@ShaelinWrites]

haha I've written one short story that had some incest subtext but that's about it lol, it's definitely not something that appears in most of my work. the sister relationship in honey vinegar that I described as being somewhat like a toxic romantic relationship isn't incestouous in any way, not even subtextually, that was just to say that the protagonist is possessive of her sister in a very toxic manner, like you see in some toxic relationships

[@jackhaggerty1066]

@@ShaelinWrites Toxic relationships reminded me of the first film Rachel Ward directed, *Beautiful Kate* 2009. The film was shot on Flinders Ranges, Australia, and follows more than one toxic relationship and a dis-functional family. Bryan Brown is an ailing paterfamilias who played a central role in Oz's labour movement, Ben Mendelsohn the son who disappointed. Sophie Lowe is the daughter whose death haunts father and son. A painful downbeat subject for a first time director. Ward pulled it off.

[@jackhaggerty1066]

*Beautiful Kate (Sophie Lowe 2009) (Trailer).* KZbin. Another Oz movie I watch often is *Jindabyne* official movie trailer 2006 KZbin. Based on a story by Raymond Carver *So Much Water So Close To Home* and transposed from the USA to New South Wales.

[@royaldigitalmedia]

So you've got to suffer through the beginnings by letting go sounds like.

[@jacquecortez5014]

What helps me is coffee.

[@jackhaggerty1066]

Hard to believe but there was a time when coffee was not there for us. Didn't the Ottomans leave behind their coffee beans in Vienna? *Honore de Balzac's Fifty Cups of Coffee.* The New Yorker online. James Hoffmann has been making witty and informative videos about coffee on KZbin for a few years. *Four London Coffee Institutions.* *Outsiders: Three Notable New London Cafes.*

[@billyalarie929]

Are you in my brain?

[@PedroRodriguez-dl5yt]

How old are you?

[@efosaagbonson1581]

I dread the day you give up vlogging. That would be the day. I hope you never do.

[@donemigholzjr.7344]

Get help.

[@kokoro_flow]

Shaelin, this is a wonderful video. I can somewhat relate to what you're going through. (My writing situation is a bit different.) But it's reassuring that I'm not alone. Your dedication to your writing and sharing your knowledge / experience is admirable. And it's nice to hear your voice better with the mic! 💖 Btw, if you want to check out Elizabeth Filips on KZbin, she also has an approach to her work & studies she calls "Organised Chaos". Maybe her video on that will help you feel confident about your process. (She isn't a fiction writer, but she recently self published her "Organised Chaos" eBook + Notion template + audiobook bundle while working full time, being in med school and doing KZbin. Liz isn't into routines nor waking up early.) Just thought to mention her because I struggled with motivation, confidence, etc. until I watched her videos, got the bundle and read the eBook + Notion template. You might get some benefit from her videos without having to get the bundle. (She sells them in the bundle only bc it's a lot easier to absorb the concepts and apply that to one's life with the explanation in the short eBook + concise approach put together in the Notion template.)

[@ShaelinWrites]

That sounds super interesting, I'll check out her stuff!!

[@kokoro_flow]

@@ShaelinWrites Also, you might like "Wildmaking" podcast (Kristen Kieffer) -- it's for creatives who struggle with the shame narrative / hustle culture, manifesting as Writer's Block, lack of confidence, comparison, etc. It's helping me so much!