She DOESN'T Cook or Clean?!

[@renegaderogue6310]

I'm a single mom with my own business, and I have a helper who comes in 4 times a week. She cleans my home while I work. When she started, her days were less. She sat me down and said; "You need me to help you more because you are very busy." She was right. She calms my space, cleans, washes our clothes, and in turn, she earns to take care of her family. Women will always be criticized no matter what we do.

[@ms.salliejfaith7962]

Preach

[@reezoe164]

Yea. Yall will always br critisized by females no matter what yall do.

[@thegame02119]

She wants to get paid smh

[@renegaderogue6310]

@@thegame02119 yes she does. There's no shame in that. It's how it works in South Africa. She's a blessing to me. She's part of my staff.

[@Chris-mf6bj]

Sounds like a lesbian relationship lol

[@mriley927]

1. Do what works for you. There's no shame in using a cook or cleaner 2. Paying someone to do the housekeeping can help you focus on spending time with your family and on work 3. Support local cleaning/laundry etc companies in your area. They are mostly owned by female small business owners and your patronage will help grow their business.

[@brendagraham6536]

If the couple as a whole agrees to her not cooking or cleaning , I agree with their plan. I agree with what she is saying. I've heard this statement from other business peoples. They say the same thing. I'm sure there are times she will cook for him. Systems in place is a Business term. Settle this issue before you marry her. He has the option to cook.

[@cherylthomas3754]

Lol, I just said whatever works for those ppl in that relationship. That’s the problem with society, we’re too busy minding other folks business. Worry about what works for y’all

[@francisikwueme1688]

Very well put

[@ruemissm6800]

This is normal in Africa.. I'm Zimbabwean and in many households people have (we call them Gogo/ sisi) maids who help with cooking and cleaning. Yes wives still cook but usually for special days/ocassions/ when they feel like spoiling their husbands. Women in Africa work as well it's impossible to cook, clean, make love and raise kids without help. American men seem to put too much pressure their women its shocking

[@sherei9530]

When the family cannot afford help, EVERYONE in the home should help with chores

[@ruemissm6800]

@@sherei9530 yes that is also the case in my country.. If you can't afford a maid.. Everyone helps out including the husband.. But usually people revert back to traditional roles with the wife staying home making them even more poorer... Women who are housewives but can afford maids as well are usually the rich /elite Zimbabweans who can afford that life

[@Me.llamosofi]

We have the same thing in Mexico. Growing up, my mom had a few maids who helped her with the cooking, cleaning, etc. as my siblings and I grew older, we took chores in the house and she didn’t have to pay for extra help. This is very common in middle class families where both parents work.

[@loonyfox8942]

That’s the thing a lot of American women are single with kids and not a lot of men want to deal with kids she already has. Also if the mother and father are still together mom still has to work so the family can survive. America is not all that it’s cracked up to be sadly. But I definitely understand where you’re coming from

[@ruemissm6800]

@Hulda's Journey • it's same in Zim but if you ask most Africans when they could afford maids they would get. Honestly it just means you need to get married to someone who is understanding. It's odd for America yes because you guys are in a 1st world country that is very capitalistic so women kinda have to work to make ends meet. America I agree with has traditional values as well, but expecting women to work, cook, clean all at the same time is what I was pointing out to be weird. The Kenyan and Somalian women you mentioned their husbands are probably wealthy and the women are not expected to work.

[@liluv1987]

East African here, we had a live-in maid growing up. Mom and dad worked. But mommy would help around the house when needed…she was an amazing cook too. In the US, it’s a whole another ballgame. Your everyday person can’t afford a maid service. It’s so different here, so these convos are necessary. However, if I could afford it, I’d absolutely hire help. Some moms are miserable here due to lack of help around the house.

[@phantumsleeps8458]

It just sounds so much better in Africa maybe I should go

[@authanjohnson2483]

My homegirls is Chef in the princess of a tribe in South Africa right dude up here Wisconsin being a struggling student 4 year now got a divorce all kind of stuff and she said why am I sitting here struggling we got a driver in a housekeeper at home I'm going back to South Africa she's happy and I will be going to visit

[@preciousakinteye]

@@phantumsleeps8458 it is!! I’m west African and Although we didn’t have a live in maid, someone always came every weekend to clean the house thoroughly and have everything set for the next 6-7 days! I’m in the US now and would definitely move back when I’m more settled

[@Zawjawear]

See I need to go back home to Somalia 🇸🇴! This sounds like the perfect life!

[@Marella2024]

I love this mindset. There's nothing wrong with receiving help. In the US outside of the rich and upper middle class families, it is really looked down on to have domestic help, especially in the African American community. For many it's looked at as a failure as a woman if you can't do all on your own. I think this is why many Black women are stressed out out and why African American marriages don't last. Woman working multiple jobs, taking care of the kids, cooking, and cleaning!? It's just too much and is an unrealistic expectation that the community puts on us.

[@amoyboucher3090]

In Jamaica🇯🇲...if you have the money you have a maid, a gardener, driver, tutor for the kids etc. Whatever needed to make your daily life less stressful. You provide employment for service workers. It's common in other countries.

[@hmmok5791]

I'm from Jamaica the wealthy cook their food. Special occasions they order.

[@vanderumd11]

You're speaking about the top 10% rich

[@sistersstewart]

Where in 🇯🇲 ? My grandma cooked,kept the house clean, and I’m sure she took care of everything in between. Never had a maid.

[@francisikwueme1688]

Facts

[@a.h.2667]

It's nice to have some help if you can afford it. Work smarter not harder.

[@1_star_reviews]

As a residential house cleaner I fully support this movement. 😊💸💸💸💸💸💸😅

[@viviancanela3427]

Yes but he is lazy..she probably never learn how to clean ..I clean since I was 6 year old

[@angelmariemillione6722]

Help looks like virtual assistants, secretaries, and business partners. Everybody knows cooking food for your partner is one of the strongest love languages.

[@missmaverick3477]

@@viviancanela3427 good for you, if u like cleaning then clean.

[@jeanniejones8777]

Giving someone else the blessing of work

[@alannac.7392]

Men who can’t provide fully for the household shouldn’t expect women to work and also cook and clean. Period

[@manoftheyear5831]

😂

[@charbrim100]

@@manoftheyear5831 whats funny? and most likely broke

[@duggie88]

True but a lot of women be wanting men who pay all the bills and make 6 figures and still can’t cook or clean 🤷🏾‍♂️

[@sidneyhill7064]

Should the woman expect the men to do all the physical labor around the house, make sure the automobiles are kept up, take trash out. Marriage is a covenant

[@ananse77]

​@@sidneyhill7064 You mean occasional tasks that you do a couple of times per week or per month?

[@fab3laundry]

They want their woman to do everything as well as work full time. But he only goes to work and then harassed her when she is absolutely burnt out. They are seriously entitled.

[@PlatinumHustle]

I like how you just blamed men 😂 🙄🙄🙄

[@mauricioalvarenga4925]

exactly

[@raecoleman-wf2cp]

Me, my grandmother, her mother, and ALL my ancestors just LEFT the chat 😂😂😂

[@xopicsky8021]

​@@PlatinumHustle men do it more to women than women who do it to men. Don't get me wrong, there women who request a lot out of a man and he's burnt out. However men have more authority over women and used his strength to make demands. It has been like that for generations.

[@PlatinumHustle]

@@xopicsky8021 cap 🧢 stop with the excuses

[@bjmorgan3092]

I worked with people from Poland. I work in I.T. I was told with the kinda money we make, we should be hiring housekeepers, cooks, and people for anything else. They said in their country it is frowned upon not too give someone a job when you can afford to. In America, if you are not wealthy people look at you sideways to have a housekeeper.. I did finally hire a house keeper and I love it.

[@quanita7116]

You help the person make money for their family. I really needed the money when I went to clean a house. For just a few hours I made a good amount of money to help me live. Good honest days work instead of scamming or stealing.

[@Trustthatvibe8228]

Thank you! My son is an IT Director, he can afford help but refuses. It's always a mess!

[@lindac6742]

@@Trustthatvibe8228 would he be willing to allow you to help? Or he’s stubborn lol

[@Trustthatvibe8228]

@@lindac6742 Grown man stubborn, lol. I tried!

[@leilaniduffins3013]

I’m in the process of doing that too

[@leahv.2537]

YES, hiring people to cook and clean is awesome if you can afford it! 🙏🏾❤️

[@lotusflower8626]

And its funny how regular people who can't afford it find time to do both.

[@realbeautyness25]

A FRIEND OF MINE FROM MIDDLE SCHOOL HE HAS A COOK AND A MAID HIM AND HIS WIFE OWN A DAYCARE AND OTHER BUSINESSES THEY HAVE 8 KIDS

[@home4life505]

I use to have a cleaner. In a few months, i'll get another one. And im a stay at home wife

[@hao9508]

For real. I love to cook because I love to feed you. But bro if I'm working somebody better be cooking.

[@kanjangamukwena53]

Move to africa, asia, south america were u can, every house has a maid, gaden boy n security guard ow and atleast 1 or 2 drivers. It works esp if u n ur wife r partner in business, farming and build that actualy what all couple do on the weekend they investin in 1 of the 3

[@angneatb6036]

I cook 3-4 days a week and part of that is to make sure my husband has lunch the next day, but honestly I am not mad at her. I cook because I don't like to feed my family fast food. I also work, but men need to understand that they should not expect their wives to do everything. It can build up resentment and eventually lead to divorce. Your spouse has to be your partner, if not its just like having another kid.

[@ladylyssa5130]

I just don't understand how our men insist that we scrutinize, maintain, and organize eeeevvvvery last detail of our home AND all its upkeep, plus have time and energy for lovemaking. Yet somehow, we just aren't women if we're unable to do all of that, esp the sexy time. 🤔 I'm no keeper of the home. I can make a home, decorate tf out of a home, but I'm a firm believer that the home should be kept by the people who live in it, including the kids...or hire someone else to do it.

[@breeminor498]

​@BraisedRotisserie Most men don't work at strenuous jobs these days. Each household is different so. the details how the household operates is between the husband and wife.

[@jmack2989]

Facts on facts here. 💯

[@empressmalak6019]

The rules changed and should have been made clear: I am not working just like my Man/S.O./Husband and have to come home to do "Woman's work"! I am not a Maid, Mammie, and Mattress. We can share in Cooking & Cleaning. I told my Mom & Auntie they allowed their SONS to watch them DO IT ALL!!! Now, they go out into the World, trying to find someone like Mom. Those Women did NOT require or insist on their Husbands sharing the Household duties. Too bad, so SAD. GET SOMEBODY ELSE TO DOO IT!! (in my Maddie voice). 🙏🏾💫❤🖤💚💛

[@FigiMarie]

My mother and father have been married for 41 years in February. My mother has worked…raised 6 girls…be First Lady and be a wife to her husband and now she is absolutely tired of cooking but my father is so spoiled that he demands a new meal every night…super picky. SMH get the help when you need it ladies…don’t stress yourself over small things…as long as he is fed that’s all that matters…no need to stress over being the one to do the labor…work smarter not harder.

[@chyniawelch3189]

Girl I totally agree! This might sound cliché but wasn't this how it was in the beginning. Sarah had maid servants who help her. Let's look at the Proverbs 31 woman- she put 'systems' in place. She woke early in the morning and made sure everything was in place for her husband. She was so prepared that the days ahead didn't scare her and that's because she had good management skills. The real aim is to please your husband and that she did. Verse 28 says: Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

[@angelface1564]

Oui Wei, gurl you if ain put the word on them grits ain groceries .. yes ma’am. Lol

[@latricelove-taylor7673]

Those handmaidens were also sleeping were sleeping w/ her husband. If you can afford by all means, pay for the extra help,

[@christinem.1859]

I hired a chef, driver, have my groceries delivered and a maid. If I’m stress free you’ll be stress-free. 🥰

[@gaylisahernandez3285]

Let's touch and agree 😊👍

[@daphnechristopher7397]

If you can afford it, why not.....

[@katiepop3442]

Girl Im loving these comments.. We normalizing having help when needed..

[@SYRNofNNINE]

Amen

[@shando7488]

You looking for a lil thing on the side 👀

[@elmyra.jackson]

Do what works in YOUR home!! #AuntieSpeaks

[@YourSisterFriend]

💯 wouldn't it be grand if we each tended to our own homes and stayed out of other folks??!! This obsession with what you believe someone deserves, or what their relationship/marriage should look like, what they do with their money - - - whew, ain't folks tired??

[@Smooveandpretty]

@@YourSisterFriend facts

[@StaplesPropertyAcquisitions]

Notice auntie is MISS not MRS.

[@elmyra.jackson]

@@StaplesPropertyAcquisitions Notice you don't know me or why I used the title "Miss" so.........

[@tanqunetthughes2012]

Yes ma'am agreed. That's great if that works for your household.

[@JenniferKristin888]

Honestly, my husband has never even seen my housekeeper and she has been working for us for years. All he knows is everything is well kept at home. She comes at 9am in the morning after he has left for work and leaves before he gets home. If it weren't for the payments coming out of our checking account he'd never even know I wasn't doing everything myself. Lol😊

[@bpjog25]

This is game on top of game!! I took notes.

[@chinachyree986]

My shero 😍😍😍

[@lorettafite2483]

I work and I clean and I cook My home is never unclean and wash I can't not sleep Knowing my home is not clean I was raise old school my mother have 7 kids 6 sons & 1 daughter and a husband you can eat off the floor that how clean my mother was we taught to clean our home & clean yo body and my brothers or very clean men I clean up everything in my house and outside of my home I don't play yes I have ocd

[@gaeasnavel8955]

That’s how you keep them separate too! Smart cookie 🍪 😂

[@majorkiki8340]

Yes sis! 👏🏽 love this ❤

[@coreysimon8321]

I cook with my man in the kitchen, he's talking to me while I'm cooking. We're focused on each other and the food. Laughing and enjoying each other's company. I wash as I go so we don't have a pile of dishes to wash up. Cleaning is both of our duty as we both work.

[@redheadrapunzel6088]

Exactly this!! Or he says I want *insert snack type food here* so he calls that fend for ourselves day. Sometimes he surprises me with rotisserie chicken and sides. We are partners, he works, I work, we both cook, clean etc.

[@kokomelanin2160]

This is bonding time. If you don't have time for me, it means you making time for someone else. Not saying that you're cheating but if you are focus on work, your priority is your boss and I am no longer the man because your boss and job controls you.

[@hikarychan3997]

sounds amazing what race/ethnicity/nationality?

[@yvettedargbe5062]

Best way, I love being in the kitchen with my boo but he always kicks me out and tells me to go relax and save my energy.

[@hikarychan3997]

@@yvettedargbe5062 no way

[@DawnOree]

Come all the way through Davonne! If he can’t get with the household systems being in place for us both to have peace and thrive, he’s not the one. And that’s that.

[@magnificentme3770]

I love this right here!

[@Ladydocfit78]

I believe in putting systems in place. Ain't nothing wrong with having help. Hire people so you can spend quality time with the ones you love

[@Amazing.Grace37]

❤

[@almareyes2192]

well then dont be surprised if the maid sneaks in a couple extra for your man😂😂😂🤪

[@MrMeToo-fh7pe]

the cook and cleaner can help in the bedroom too

[@Almostth3R]

Yeah you can let the cook replace you in the kitchen you risk getting replaced in the most important room.

[@Ladydocfit78]

@@MrMeToo-fh7pe Only fake ones think like that

[@sardaewilson]

I get it. I personally feel cooking for your partner is a form of affection but I am all for creating systems. Grocery delivery is everything

[@pbfairley]

Not to me because I hate cooking 😂

[@sonjastanley1067]

I like the convenience of food delivery. I prepare "Hello Fresh" 2-3 times a week, which comes with everything that you need to make dinner for 4 along with the recipe card. I enjoy not having to worry about what to make for dinner, and it's actually pretty fun. Makes you feel like a chef. 😆

[@katiepop3442]

@Sonja Stanley thats cool too... you still cooking...I heard hello fresh is delicious

[@sonjastanley1067]

@katiepop 3 It is. I have 3 coupons to "Hello Fresh" and 3 coupons to "Every Plate" for a free gift box to giveaway. If anyone who reads this would like to try either company, please feel free to comment, and I can just send you the code.

[@emilywestphal550]

She doesn’t see cooking as an act of love and intimacy, but he does. You’ve got to care about each others love languages, not just your own.

[@Tom6567my]

Thank you.

[@jahleelisrael]

EXACTLY! Finally a sensible comment.

[@miram2053]

Seems the focus is about her spouse. What about her love languages? Is he making sacrifices to tend to her love languages. 2 way street. Coming from a successfully married woman.

[@sherryvincent299]

I'm sure his love language includes physical touch...Cooking and cleaning is normally a love language when folks are familiar with the lifestyle riddled with "survival mode"

[@beyoutifuljones3786]

That can be done spontaneously. Nobody is breaking there back for a man..maybe a desperate woman.. but not a real woman.

[@fiberinspiretahoe9177]

She’s created an economy for another by having these services meet! That’s amazing!

[@Legacy_coachkd]

Great way to look at that. Employing others and getting your needs met!!! I like it!!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

[@fiberinspiretahoe9177]

@@Legacy_coachkd it’s excellent!

[@phillippeagosdasun8880]

Sadly is that what men want?

[@asanwa3126]

​@@phillippeagosdasun8880 Life does not revolve around men.

[@phillippeagosdasun8880]

@Asa Nwa if you want a boyfriend husband then you have to understand what men want as well, women have been so brainwashed that yall dont even know if you give men want we need women can get the world.

[@MrTimbo901]

I have been married 31 years to a very busy woman, and I WANT someone to help us with cooking and cleaning, but she sees that as an insult to her as a woman.

[@Fathertime-tv5wo]

You are a blessed man , wifey is on point ! These new age wives are so UNGODLY 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@BlaqueKotton]

​@Fathertime 1995 True but it sounds like he may be unhappy with her lack of availability to him.

[@KariFromYoutube]

As a mom of 2, I will be working harder to not have to do these things because it’s damn near impossible to get everything done by yourself. In Africa all the wives have maids. It takes a VILLAGE!

[@DeborahWalkerXOXO]

My mother currently lifting NO FINGERS in the Caribbean and I'm frightened for when she returns! I don't want to be the replacement maid!

[@kittycaruso50]

​@@DeborahWalkerXOXOhaha that's too funny 🤣

[@DeborahWalkerXOXO]

@@kittycaruso50 pray for me!

[@mmconceicao]

​@@DeborahWalkerXOXO 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@i.cant.sleep.anymore]

Those maids are human too, they are not lesser than you. Who is a maid for them? No one.

[@withoutmanual]

She's a good wife. She delegate's so she can complete more tasks. She is able to hire someone else and thus help keep someone off the streets and fed as well. I say its charitable too.

[@umichgal1]

black women don’t have to be mules to be loved. Let’s normalize having help.

[@katiepop3442]

Girlllll Preach!!!!!

[@Kloveyoubye.]

I have help I have a cleaner A nanny for the kids And my mum makes me and the kids food I don’t have time do do it all, so I have help Amen

[@ddg80sbby]

PUT THAT ON A SHIRT! 🙌

[@truthshetold]

Girl!!!

[@prettyuniquell2011]

That part! It is definitely ok to have help but, as long as the kids get the attention and love they do desperately needs❤🙏🏽

[@deehayes8354]

This woman OWNS multiple hotels. She balances her time HER way. Its whatever is best for your individual households. Stop judging

[@microwavechef7738]

What's her name?

[@deehayes8354]

@@microwavechef7738 Davonne Reaves

[@positivevibe7684]

@Dee.. I agree. Whatever works for you and your family.💯💕

[@macdavidson9449]

Exactly

[@macdavidson9449]

Exactly. I’d prefer to spend time with my family. I have systems in place for my businesses to run without my presence. To each their own

[@tamcreatezy8424]

This is so true The saddest thing I ever had to see was a woman coming home from a 9:00 to 5 job and still having to be a full-time maid

[@queen4u281]

Yet our mothers and grandmothers NEVER complained about cooking and cleaning!!!. This is foolishness. This is equivalent to having your assistant pick out a greeting card for your husband because you don’t have time to. Where is the love in anything you do for your man? This type of treatment will not last long in my opinion.

[@getreal4real169]

@@queen4u281 It depends on the man. I know several men who actually cook dinner. My brother also cooks because we were all taught to cook. These “cooking” men have been married to their wives for decades. They realize that there wives contribute to paying the bills and are happy to help around the home. Now if you are a housewife, then that’s an entirely different story. I agree with the author of this comment. My mom and grandmother never complained about cooking because they didn’t have to work. I’m hiring a maid to do the cleaning and laundry. I cook because I like the food that I prepare. There are times when I’m too tired after working 12 hours so I’ll order door dash. I don’t cook on Fridays and Saturdays because I need a break. My husband has no issues with this and will cook breakfast on the weekends. We’ve been married for over two decades.

[@1_star_reviews]

As a residential house cleaner I fully support this movement. 😊💸💸💸💸💸💸😅

[@1_star_reviews]

@@queen4u281 Mothers and Grandmothers didn’t work outside of the home. Go sit down somewhere because you’re knocking the hustle, chick.

[@leahweinberger583]

​@@queen4u281 they weren't also working 9-5 for a paycheck. Let's be real.

[@queentinadoire6931]

Brothers focus on the benefits before you answer this question: 1. She hires someone to cook and clean. WIN FOR YOU. 2. She focuses on ALL YOUR INTIMATE NEEDS. WIN FOR YOU. 3. She has time to advance her business. WIN FOR YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY. THIS IS A WIN-WIN-WIN- WIN FOR YOU BROTHER!

[@sherei9530]

Yep. If they both contribute to paying the help its a win for both families

[@prettybrwneyez7757]

Majority of them are too stupid to understand this

[@E.P.7131]

Part of my "intimate needs" is having home cooked meals made with love. Are we entrusting strangers with the nutrition of our families? Cleaning I can understand, but even that be a security issue.

[@alexconfidence2354]

That's not what a man considers a win.

[@noname75013]

If she working let her use her money to hire me a cook. While she at it she can hire someone to provide me everything else too.

[@latoyab8337]

I have a maid that comes once a month and deep cleans the house and etc. My husband is on board and agrees with the help. I still cook 6 days a week while my husband has decided every Friday he treats the kids and gives me a break from cooking! I love cooking for my family so I don’t mind cooking 7 days a week if needed! Having a maid is self care for me and if you can afford it I say do it!

[@SELFCAREMODEL]

ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS❤

[@ijg8343]

You sound lazy

[@donijoneslive]

As a happily married woman for 20 years...there is something special about a meal made by my hands even if it's just a sandwich...and my husband appreciates it very much. Yes we have meals made for us sometimes but not all the time

[@rachelthomas2027]

@Doni Jones … 🙌🏾💯 THAT PART

[@homodeus8713]

Some women enjoy building Empires and others love being housewives - there are no wrong answers and there are men who love both types of women. It’s an abundance thing.

[@dhard02]

Amen

[@kimberlypatterson3568]

Yes!

[@lyavule360Degrees]

I'm sure she does it but not regularly. I love cooking and that's the only thing I didn't outsource when I was married but guess what? It was mighty special when he made our traditional meal coz I didn't know how to do that as good as he could. Some people can't be bothered to cook, same as some can't run the lawnmower without killing the flowers🤣🤣

[@qiarabutler9791]

She talking my kind of talk. Let me cook out of love not angst and exhaustion. Queens don’t have to worry about those things. But kings still get fed

[@section8ight174]

Skewed thinking!

[@mrbennett]

@@section8ight174 No, it's not skewed. I agree with her. She still makes sure her man gets fed. If she can afford help to be more efficient, no sin in it. The only possible problem is if the cook is good-looking enough to make her husband's eyes stray.

[@erekalvin]

That cook is not coming every time they get hungry. That’s delusion talking.

[@qiarabutler9791]

Meal prep!

[@leonildes86]

@@mrbennett she just had to make sure the help isn’t good looking or a female.

[@ladylightvybe4138]

I couldn't imagine not cooking for my family, it is a pleasure to see them nourished & satisfied from my efforts. As for cleaning, if taught properly, children can be an asset & are humbled by picking up after themselves & contributing to the running of the household. Each to their own but I'd never be comfortable hiring help to clean my mess.

[@Tom6567my]

Yes

[@tranquilitywithinllc2916]

I need a maid. I'll hire a maid quick, fast and in a hurry...You go girl!!

[@eileenwatt8283]

That maid will be sleeping with the husband too. Just ask women who made that mistake by having these trifling help. If only this woman knows what disruption will come into her life.

[@tranquilitywithinllc2916]

@@eileenwatt8283 then that maid did me a favor. She and the man can go. I don't idolize men. If I have to question a man's loyalty, then I shouldn't be married to that man. A man who truly loves me will never cheat on me. I have the Lord Jesus Christ who is my true husband. I'll hire a maid anyway, married or not. I'm still happy and free!!! 😇 💃 😇

[@faith6575]

@@eileenwatt8283 If that’s your personal experience then just say that because that’s crazy. I outsource a cleaning company that comes to clean. It’s owned by a husband and wife team and they’re extremely professional and respectful because they have a reputation to uphold and maintain for their company. Not everyone is morally corrupt. Smh.

[@blackfranklin]

You make that much money that you can't take care of your own house?

[@BeautyQueenOfSwords]

Right

[@chanochisrael1153]

Being happy in my marriage and as a mother, I can work from home and still ensure my husband and sons are cared for. It's a joy!

[@brodybey]

Not these womens these dayz!

[@angeledwards7646]

I agree that’s what I do now

[@lifeonthetablewithnoxolom719]

You must be well loved, only that can motivate your joy to serve them

[@luzmilaloaiza6149]

Where do u work ? I would like to find a work from home job too! 😅

[@ligmanutzrichardchedder]

@@lifeonthetablewithnoxolom719 the problem is you women don't see marriage as duty. You have a duty to your man to care for him, you have a duty to serve him

[@elf8266]

I'm glad she said this. I cook for my family a few days out of a week for meals that last a couple of days, but there are days that we take out. My job brings me home at 7 pm every night. It's hard to feed my family when dinner is done at 9pm... everyone is asleep and doesn't get to eat. So I had to choose between making sure my family ate or no food because I can't get off to cook before 7, pm. I felt it was more important to make sure my family was fed by any means even if it's not a fully cooked meal.

[@alyssawoodman]

I batch cook and put it in the freezer.

[@mmconceicao]

Why not work part-time?

[@elf8266]

@@mmconceicao part time employment doesn't pay for the essential needs of a family of 4 for me. My husband and I both work to take care of our family needs.

[@inexpertxennial6067]

Does your husband help with ANY of the chores? Or you just a mule? Doing all of it by yourself?

[@elf8266]

Yes hubby helps but he works as well and sometimes it's easier for him to take out as well. That's why my hats are off to single moms because even with spouse it's a juggle when both parents have to work. I recently started a remote job so that helps with getting some things done now. Now I know why our mothers and grandmothers solicited help from older children though

[@FourSeasons04]

I don't blame her...my mother recognized early on that I was not the domestic type and encouraged me to earn sufficient money to hire assistance. You got to do what you got to do.

[@jenznwachukwu]

A wise woman knows how to run her home. Hiring help is nothing new, it's been there from the beginning of time. This is something we are very accustomed to back home. Stay focused.

[@exceptionallife4768]

A wise woman knows it’s not her place to run a home.. not many of those walking around in the west these days

[@tatianadaniel3569]

​@@exceptionallife4768 What is a wife's role in the home?

[@exceptionallife4768]

@@tatianadaniel3569 to follow her husband

[@tatianadaniel3569]

@@exceptionallife4768 A wife's role is to assist her husband and if you've ever been an assistant, you'd know that the assistant tends to do alot more work than the CEO because the assistant has to pay so much more attention to the details of the job. A wife is not a robot. She is a human that has a God-ordained right to exercise the upmost potential of her purpose which doesn't only entail her husband and children, even though her family should be her first priority, just like the husband's first priority should be his family. A husband (no matter how good he is) is not aways right, which is when he humbles himself and submits to his wife's insights, abilities, and strengths. Vice versa for the wife.

[@exceptionallife4768]

@@tatianadaniel3569 thanks for that... Have a good day

[@MercSolo]

If she wants to hire someone, I’m all for it. Especially if it allows her to be more focused and invested into me 🤷🏾‍♂️

[@chrisbranch231]

She must gone pay for the help since she got so much going on

[@BlackberryTitties]

@@chrisbranch231 Say you’re broke without saying you’re broke! 😂🎉 As someone who actually used to clean in a ton of rich white neighborhoods here in North Carolina. Those men gave their wives the money to hire cleaners, chefs etc. I know middle class people who also do the same thing. Y’all be worried about women, wives etc who aren’t even your own. Go BUILD something! 🔨

[@vanderumd11]

​@@BlackberryTitties lol if you're trying to act like it's normal to be rich you're crazy. You were the help, you know nothing

[@r0ckymarie]

@@BlackberryTitties men with actual gold are not worried about gold diggers….they happily support their women. You never hear rich men whining about gold diggers, ever.

[@md2lh9c]

I had two nannies and a driver. Raising four children and working 10 hours a day was the best thing I could do too. And she is telling the truth. I had that extra time after work on my children and husband. 🥰 However, me and my husband shared the cooking in the evening or we would eat out.

[@MyGoalisJannah]

When I get my money up, the first thing I’m doing is outsourcing everything! The cooking, cleaning, groceries, you name it, I’m getting someone else to do it. The amount of hours we lose doing that work instead of focusing on having quality time with our family, husband, children, and any thing else that’s more deserving of our time, it’s worth every penny.

[@katiepop3442]

Well said!!!

[@BelovedbyAdonai]

EXACTLY ‼️

[@SuccessInSightSI]

Every👏🏽penny!!! I get housekeeping once a month and the groceries already on pickup or delivery status. Now, I need to work on that chef💯 shoot, I can even go vegan with a chef 😂

[@judithnalubowa4172]

Yes, looking at it from a different perspective and works

[@judithnalubowa4172]

Yes

[@leilani_808]

I’ve been a stay at home mom for way too long - making my husband - who’s hard at work -‘always come home to a hot meal, clean home and clothes laid out for him - as well as doing hw with the kids, etc etc etc etc Not only do I have no time for my husband, I barely have time for myself. I have ZERO days off. So - I absolutely 100% agree! If I could, I would absolutely pay someone to cook and clean for me.

[@justagirl4627]

I feel you. I hope you can get one soon. Being a stay at home mom is no easy task

[@chsnbytmhnyki56]

This was me for 16 years and I will definitely hire cleaning help the next time around, until it’s me and hubby at home.

[@ntbarnes656]

Yep.

[@esthernyokabi8641]

I have a small shop that I run 6am to 10:00pm and I still do all the cleaning take care of my little son my hubby and my bro

[@kimrudy6096]

Girl guess we mirror image

[@nicsisco803]

I'm a woman who genuinely enjoys cooking, cleaning, and domestic things in general. But I totally understand and respect not every woman feels the same. And not every woman has the same life.

[@brodybey]

Not every woman gets a husband. Modern women

[@E.P.7131]

It's disheartening how many hurt, bitter, and negative women are in the comments. As a black man, I love you black woman.

[@cessieabe2]

My value as a woman or the love I have for my husband shouldn't be measured by how often i clean and cook. After running a business, taking care of our 12 yr old daughter, helping with homework..... Im so physically done there is no way. That's why my husband will step in.....do that load of laundry or cook or order out or take the family out for the night. We have a cleaning service that comes in 3 times a week and in between everyone is responsible for cleaning up behind themselves. Don't believe you have to beat yourself down mentally and physically to be seen as a good woman or wife....thats bs. And if you have a good man, he will understand that it takes 2 people to run a marriage and a household.

[@cessieabe2]

@@iatealready5544 Sounds like you have some unresolved psychological issues you may need to seek counseling for.....whatever it is, dont take it out on me, i didnt do it.

[@cccc8643]

my parents had a couple that cleaned for them. 57 yrs together

[@cessieabe2]

@cccc8643 Yes, ma'am. And most people think it is expensive to have a cleaning service come in 1-3 days a week, it's actually not. People have to figure out how to take unnecessary stress off of themselves and their relationships in order to focus on what is more important.

[@katanatamar4188]

@iatealready I understand what you’re saying. That traditional mindset has been around for almost forever. However, this conversation is specifically about how most people live now. It’s too expensive for most people to live off of one source of income. So most people either work two jobs, work a lot of overtime, live with family/roommates/ significant others. So in situations like these where the women also has to work and the two of you make enough together to live very comfortably, the traditional mindset is more harmful than helpful. She could possibly stop working to play a more traditional role, but that would hurt the household financially. Humans are very adaptable, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Conversations like these are the ways in which people are starting to mentally adapt to the reality they’re currently living in. Mind you, not every household can afford to hire help, even with two sources of income, so most couples share the household duties. To be able to live comfortably from one person working is definitely a huge privilege.

[@jws031770]

Hubby's a simp.

[@Iiizvnhhc]

It's not complicated. She has a maid to clean the house and a cook to prepare the food. Everyone has a job. It sounds like she works and wants more time with the hubby after work. She has her priorities in order.

[@chrisbranch231]

As long as she's not just doing this cause she lazy. That's the real reason ☺️

[@Onelovebeautie]

@@chrisbranch231well what would be his reason for not helping with the cooking and cleaning?

[@geni412]

@@chrisbranch231 That would be like him not doing it because he’s lazy. If they both work full time and his day is over after work then her day should be over too. If the both work the same hours and she’s the only one cooking, cleaning and taking care of kids after work it seems like she’s leading the house while he turns into Ferris Bueller.

[@batman6749]

Are you on drugs why wood I want a Maid when we can do cooking and cleaning together

[@wulf6133]

​​@@Onelovebeautie He is making more money or working overtime to provide his family even if she works it's her money not his money but his money will be her money too. See the difference, women wants men roles to be fixed but want their roles to be negotiate lol.

[@delightfular9200]

Love this, I once met a very wealthy man who told me he didn't marry his wife for her to cook and clean. He hires people to do that for them. His wife should be making herself beautiful so they can go out together. At the time this was a huge new way of looking at things. 💫

[@ladybuglove61201]

EXACTLY! Wealthy people don't cook and clean for themselves. They hire people to do it for them so they can spend their time and energy on what matters most to them.

[@chocolaza]

​​@Augusta Perry The not so wealthy or those of lesser means can do the same things if they work together and plan things right. It's all in how you choose to work it as a team. Just sayin...🤷🏾

[@DJChinChin]

Yes I always had me a housekeeper. I have to relax my body after work. When I have food prepared by a catering service, chef, or someone that knows how yo cook it makes things move smoothly.

[@EBB505]

Honestly is the only place where families are forced to function without help. Unless you are rich. In Africa the common person had house help. Wives generally don't do their own domestic work even childcare. It also opens up jobs for many poor people to support their families. I'm from Zimbabwe and growing up, our housemaids were like family. Also the job includes food and accommodation so their salary goes entirely to supporting their family. I think it's a great system. I'm a stay at home mum in the UK now with 2 young children and it's such hardwork.

[@MetalGear_85]

The key though is that the home workers were like Family. This implies that the relationship had more meaning that just a transition of money for services.

[@skrypture1162]

Raising children is a luxury not a job

[@ruemissm6800]

I'm Zimbo too said the same thing

[@Almostth3R]

If your country allow polygamy it makes sense.

[@joshuareynolds23]

No the common person does not have help your help are the common person.

[@kwabenaamanfoh6675]

My wife and I cook, clean, and ….together lol

[@jovelhamilton601]

Bro what you just said is the definition of a marriage. We do this together.

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

Keyword is Together

[@kc3936]

This is a REAL marriage. Especially if both is working full time.

[@mocheeks4788]

Kudos to you and your wife. Today's younger gen, don't believe in doing things together or for each other. Keep it going!

[@lbanks3237]

My husband and I do the same but when I cook, he LOVES it and I get a kick out of it too. 😃

[@menocrats]

I love it. She can cook IF and when its necessary but she put herself in a position where she can and rather pay someone to get her and her man some food/cook so she can have energy to focus on other things that are more fulfilling or beneficial to the relationship.

[@vincentsirianni5145]

Like what

[@theresabarnes4940]

Like the husband probably

[@karenriley8529]

Careful my sistah, Stephen Belafronte, Ben Affair,Arnold Schwarzenegger, etc. Careful with whom you subject into your personal space.

[@eileenwatt8283]

That man will be sleeping with that maid too. That happens frequently in countries where maids, helpers or house girls are in the house. It's a bad idea.

[@hotepkennels]

​@@eileenwatt8283 My girlfriend just pointed 👉 out that logical fact.

[@amberdavis3935]

It feels better to have a cooked meal from your wife/husband , it makes you feel loved that your person wants to put in the labor to feed you.

[@jonellefigueroa3604]

Very true, in honduras if you can afford it you have a maid. Cook, clean and laundry. You help the people, they help you. It provides jobs, and you can focus on other things.

[@DivaAkiaShenise]

That's why my mother hires people to clean the house down South, to help other businesses and provide work.

[@ForgotToMentionThat]

I’m yet to meet a married man who brags how well the house help cooks compared to his wife.

[@frankiehernandez3276]

You win bro 👍

[@E09154]

if it does happen, the wife is firing the help. Lol😂

[@bjw1446]

It’s not all about men

[@justinfarrar4019]

BWAHAHAHA 😂😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂

[@jarviswilliams2465]

It's not made with love! That's why

[@jazzip]

My fiancé already said “why would I clean or expect you to clean when I can hire someone to do it”? Let me tell you when a man has his life together he will invest in you not matter what. If he is a man of integrity he go the extra mile to make you happy. Now I can focus on increasing on our wealth by investing in us.

[@kimberlypatterson3568]

I have time for my husband AND cook and clean. This is one of the ways I show my love for him and our life together. Of course, we spend a lot of time cooking in the kitchen TOGETHER and he is a true PARTNER. There is nothing wrong with bringing in outside help. Saying you have help so that you can give more time to your husband really means you don’t choose to cook and clean yourself and that’s just fine but it doesn’t have anything to do with spending more time with your husband.

[@richwilliams1943]

well said

[@solostudio100]

Cooking together once in a while is great quality time as well.

[@kayshawnsimmons5585]

the key word is Together. Most just want you to do it cause they mommas did it.

[@shaheerbajoo2865]

Once she can cook when she needs to, then that's fine; if, as a couple, you can afford to have a chef and people to clean, then by all means, go ahead. The problem is when you can't afford that type of luxury and the person refuses to do what it takes for the relationship to work.

[@Sunshinejjplane]

She is a vibe and I'm here for it! As long as it's clean and as long as you're well fed I'm doing my job. Now we have more time for each other and our business.

[@kimberleyhosmer5997]

This is a woman who understands distribution of tasks and division of labor.

[@mikolowiskamikolowiska4993]

Until the labour needs a husband

[@dominiqueedwards2847]

She prolly also understands the deals they have on chewy

[@desmondmcneil496]

No this is lazy woman that’s it that’s all

[@nandikaa471]

REALLY!!!

[@westbake3916]

She also is most likely single or will be after the man leaves her for the cook... better hire a male chef and not a female... that is my advice

[@essiegilliam1857]

I'm with her!! I do my own cooking, cleaning, all of that. However, it's her life and if her man is on board, OKAY. I wouldn't want my son to be with her but I understand her.

[@judithnalubowa4172]

She said she knows how to cook. If you want help every so you can tend to children and hubby fully and business

[@moniquestuckey-kirkham7762]

As a wife and Mother who clean and cooks and work a full time Job! I am tired to interact with my husband and children, when I get the assistance of someone else cooking like my Husband or children cleaning I am more relaxed and able to be intimate with my Husband and enjoy spending time with my Children! So she speaking 10000% truth!

[@dagoodz2k691]

you dont suppose to be working lol its funny yall aint figured that out yet. working is stealing your time from your husband and kids, and if he cheats, just remember your work time was more important to you than him and the kids. people give their time to the things they care about.

[@EinsamPibroch278]

She actually gives a good explanation for herself. I would allow it. 9 times out of 10, I don't look at women who have no domestic skills, but she does, but she's willing to pay with her own money to make those needs met. That's good.

[@tc81trey]

A home cooked meal comes from the heart. Soul food comes from the heart. You don't have to cook everyday.

[@chelseabrinkley2040]

Exactly

[@Tyndalic]

💯 if her man falls in love with the chef 👨‍🍳 well who’s fault is that!!

[@pennyproud1621]

True

[@dontehill8410]

DONT YOU EAT EVERYDAY? You WEAK MINDED PEOPLE ARE SO LAZY AND SLOW TO BE WANTING TO EAT LOW QUALITY, PROCESSED, FROZEN, NON FRESH RESTAURANT FOOD COOKED BY A STREET STRANGER MAKING $7/HR? Lol! OK!

[@treajenkins1917]

I would hire a male chef, no woman will be cooking for my man, problem solved 🤔🤷🏽‍♀️

[@alannajanae7123]

I BEEN PREACHING THIS FOREVER AND PEOPLE ALWAYS LOOK AT ME CRAZY! PREAAACH SIS!! Delegate them tasks!

[@antwanstratton4818]

As long as my wife ensures my needs are met. I am GOOD.

[@sandrajones8276]

Now this is a good answer, you are a good man.

[@almareyes2192]

yeah you answered your own question. She basically won't be meeting your needs, THE MAID WILL THOUGH🔥🔥🔥🤣🤣

[@viralbuthow000]

@@almareyes2192 What's the point of a relationship if husband and wife dont meet each other's needs?

[@GlobalFreeLiving]

My mother had a nanny and it made my parents life amazing! They could travel when they wanted to, they were relaxed at home... she cooked, cleaned, and took care of three kids. Sounds good to me...

[@joeydiaz5927]

Sounds terrible to me. Imagine your parents would rather travel than take care of kids. Imagine your parents would rather work than cook and eat dinner with you kids. Your way is impersonal and sterile. Lazy woman

[@thepeopleschamp9076]

Cooking is an intimate act by itself. Huge difference between your woman and a maid cooking.

[@Chatham8555]

I would love to ask Mr. Man if he can build a closet, paint the house, do basic man duties of repairing windows, plumbing or electrical fixtures. Not... So sad to try and judge a woman because she has options. You Go Queen!!!👏👏👏❤️❤️❤️😊😊😊

[@NikluvLei6111]

She completely right. There's nothing wrong with this. She is managing and utilizing and delegating her time, energy, and responsibilities effectively. She know what works for her so she not going to be run down and ragged midway through the marriage. Look at how happy her energy is duhhhh kus she ain't tired af.

[@TransitioningBeauty]

My husband threw a fit when I hired a maid to come in once a week. He called me lazy and all kinds of names. He was the HAPPIEST he’s ever been when they came in. I was in a good mood too because I could focus on work and the kids. Why make things hard for yourself when you don’t have to?

[@reznacuffey7391]

There are multiple forms/types/ways that love is shown to a partner in addition to cooking and cleaning. Let's not limit ourselves.

[@71suezqz]

Women, you should pick a man who does not hire repairmen. Back in the day, men were supposed to be capable of general household plumbing, electric, construction, and mechanics.

[@morsecode9787]

WHY. SO 🤠🥸🤓🤡😠😈 MEGALAMANIAC CAN TEAR UP ENTIRE INFRASTRUCTURE OF HOME OR RENTAL😒 NEVER ☎️👷🏽‍♂️👷🏿‍♀️👩🏼‍🏭🧑🏽‍🔧 😏

[@BluDrop5]

FACTS.

[@jamesross6476]

Cooking in a lot of cultures is not simply about the meal, but the time and preparation needed to make it is a show of love for the family.

[@sherrioneal853]

Shes Smart Enough To Satisfy Her Loved Ones In The Most Modern Way👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@keynolivia]

Love when a intelligent woman chooses not to cook and clean. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 People act like this is what’s needed to get a man. Please keep that man who is looking for a maid.

[@_shumba]

If a couple can afford a maid, then cool, it can be a great benefit. But if a couple can't afford a maid, who do you think has historically done the housework?

[@aprilroberson27]

Okaaaaay

[@trenapatrece]

@Shumba....if we're talking historically it maybe the woman who has taken care of the household...but she also didn't have to have an outside job...if both parties now have to bring home the bacon, then they both should be able to cook it

[@_shumba]

@@trenapatrece I agree that as society has shifted towards both men and women working, it is fair for men to take on more duties. However, this does not seem to be the best model to me. One thing many people in society have forgotten is a man's honour. Let's say a couple have visitors around their house, do you think a man would feel honoured by his wife in front of another man if he had to cook and cater to all of the visitor's needs while the wife spoke to the guests? A self-respecting man would not want this, they would want it to be the other way around as it has historically been this way for a reason... Men need respect, and unfortunately, something so obvious has been destroyed in this modern era. If more women knew how to make a man feel respected, they would be amazed at how much difference that makes to a man's life. Alas, the common narrative is to boast about doing nothing for men as if this would be attractive.

[@trenapatrece]

@Shumba I agree that a man should be and needs to be honired...no dispute there...my comment was more geared toward lazy men who want their wife to do it all while they sit back and chill...if a woman has to work a 9-5 she is tired also and that should be taken into consideration when discussing duties and roles...that's all I was saying

[@lesstalk4785]

Well if she’s a full time housewife she can cook and clean for you. You can’t have 50/50, cook, and cleaner too. For all the women who is doing that, I applaud you and hopefully your man appreciates it all.

[@moxiemaxie3543]

They expect both and men want that proved but don't want the work that comes with getting it. SHE is paying for the housekeeping so she can focus on being a better wife

[@cashnomoney2884]

If the wife is paying for it and improving in other areas cool, but if she is a housewife and the husband is the sole financial provider, why does he need to hire others to do The WIFES job?

[@almareyes2192]

yeah whatever women who doesn't do that sounds like a lazy as wife😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@colibriargente9179]

Growing up as a black woman, I was told to be perfect (cooking, cleaning...). Fast forward at 36, I have a complete different perspective of life. One of my co-worker got married. Both are whites (French and Irish). She does not like cooking, so he cooks. Also... she is a vegan, therefore he has to adapt. Moral of the story, you may like this, or that, but when you meet the one, you'll find a way to adapt and show love above what you ever thought was possible. The things you thought were outrageous, become suddenly insignificant...

[@negative949]

nobody is marrying a black woman these days...just look at your marital rates...yall are trash

[@Shaq34332]

The "black" woman will get a HUGE wakeup call very soon@ What will they say then...SMH...😊

[@fatikay5735]

NO. My housemaid can do all chores but feeding my hubby and kids should be MY thing! this is a personal challenge for me as a future wife and mother. There something special about nurturing your family that cannot be duplicated by someone else.

[@sweettreatsoverload4296]

Honey getting help in the kitchen is OK Mrs. Patty has help in the kitchen. They can prepp the meals and you can go in and make sure it taste like your family likes it. I worked in a bakery, and I hired people to help me cook. But it was all done according to my taste and liking. And I hired a cleaner.

[@fatikay5735]

@@sweettreatsoverload4296 of course getting help is OK. That's actually how working women operate with their maids here in Africa. 😃. What I am saying is... not cooking at all for me is NOT an option 😊. I guess I am kind of old fashion, and that is my preference.

[@saltycat662]

@@fatikay5735 I agree with you. My husband cooks too but he gets such a joy from my cooking. I cook for him with love and he appreciates it. He works hard to give me a better life, it's the least I could do for him.

[@AprincessA]

Right

[@Yougotthis1212]

Child my maid cooked all our meals. I taught her how to are them…she opened her own restaurant back in the Philippines, child it’ll be ok

[@TMF87]

Taking care of your partner is the most intimate thing you can ever do.

[@ntimmons8770]

Cooking and cleaning is actually like meditation for me. My minds clear and everything smells good. A small accomplishment. I also don’t want strangers in my house. Lol

[@terryterrell4989]

She is bugging. I would not want to be with her

[@tomotombo]

Facts, she making excuses. Cooking for me is focusing on me.

[@BSOG3]

I love to cook for my husband and family. It's a thing for me and it's a way of taking care of them...keeping them healthy and strong. There's something beautiful about a meal that I prepare.

[@slabbygabby]

I'm not picking, I'm just asking- do you work also?

[@BSOG3]

@@slabbygabby Yes, I work full time. Real job...outside of the home. I'm a good time manager and run my home like a profitable business. I cook, clean, husband does the laundry, all of it and still have time to waste on the internet which in and of itself amazes me! lol I do food prep though so I'm not cooking full meals everyday single day. I have kids involved in everything so I have no choice but to be organized. I honestly don't get women who say they don't clean? I can understand the cooking part but how in the world do they keep their homes clean if they aren't doing it? Even when you hire someone to clean you always wind up cleaning up before they come anyway. Do you just live nasty until the cleaners come? No, I can't live like that. I need to have a clean house or I'm not going to be able to function very well. I'm also not interested in raising lazy kids who don't know how to be clean and tidy. That's just me.

[@slabbygabby]

@@BSOG3 I actually find this uplifting. I work full time too and struggle moreso with the cooking aspect but I find this aspirational and I do waste time on the Internet so I could be doing other things. Also thanks for not taking offense to me asking.

[@BSOG3]

@@slabbygabby No biggie and thanks for your clarification. It's not easy but everyone in my house has a task. I run the kitchen and they have to help with everything else. I have a son who vacuums like he's cutting grass. He hated it at first but now loves it and takes pride in it. My other kids have real chores also. We put music on super early on Saturday mornings before we get into sports and all of that and just clean and have fun. They know how I am and have figured out that it's better to get it done right than hear me "take it there". lol. We all live here so we all contribute. My husband is really good at doing what I dislike...laundry. It never piles up because he puts a load in every single day before he goes to work, my daughter puts it in the dryer when she gets home, and he folds it when he gets home and puts it away. We have a system that works for us. Otherwise, our house would be a complete disaster! I cook but I DON'T do dishes. That rotates among the kids. 🙂

[@slabbygabby]

@@BSOG3 I love this. There are definitely some takeaway points that I can use in my own household. Thank you for sharing.

[@rikeetaedwards7906]

I was taught young…there’s more than 1 way to skin a cat. I am loving the positive comments and shared experiences 👏👏👏

[@yourwhateverhomegirl]

Listen she is speaking facts. When I’m able to afford it, I will be having a house keeper come to my apartment and have a hello fresh subscription. I wish hello fresh took food stamps. They slipping on a whole other consumer base of ppl.

[@amaragrace94]

😂

[@charissemodeste6489]

🤣🤣🤣🤣..

[@savoir777faire]

Lol no they’re not😅 Get on the level.

[@vmcmillan2]

🤣😂😅

[@clarissabrooks2502]

Lol

[@Ralondat]

I got the ring and don’t cook period and know how! Love my African man

[@dagoodz2k691]

you probably got side wives too. congrats

[@Yomamatitts]

And I can bet he’s with another women in his spare time and she’s feeding her way into taking your man.

[@jesuisdavid1]

You got the ring and he got the papers?

[@Dieula9048]

You sound proud but you said You LOVE him. Hmmm...... Pray God for wisdom. An African man? A Carribean man? Ok then..... I hope you're smart enough to read between the lines.

[@moodydearest]

And he's cheating like a mug 😂

[@tennaj1367]

🤔 to all the young ladies out there, as a good man myself, there's nothing more special than having a woman cook a good meal for you with love. Even if you don't necessarily know how to cook,. just the honest attempt is WAY more appreciated than you would ever realize. And as they say "practice makes perfect" 👌

[@londyzee]

Yeah, there is nothing more special than your husband cooking for you.

[@2431-q5b]

@@londyzee how about providing a home

[@godschosen414]

Yeah he will end up leaving with the help 😂

[@blancamiranda778]

🎯 👥️️

[@godsgrace5396]

Spot on

[@hannahalfred8510]

just make sure she knows how to serve and balance life.... and ladies make sure you aint giving the help the keys to your house by letting them run it and potentially take what was yours. (moments, spouse, or just your skills) or let me rephrase, don't give it fully all away. its one thing to receive help, but not everyone you invite I'm your home is your friend so just pray for discernment.

[@TheVWMinistries]

For all these men tripping in the comments, it's no different than a man paying a service to come cut the grass. That is a job traditionally held by men, but not all men enjoy or even want to do it, so what do they do they outsource it. It's societal pressures that make women feel like they must do these things to keep a man or be considered a real woman/mother.

[@saltycat662]

I cook and my man better mow that grass. Get your lazy behind up.

[@KentsKeys_e2e]

My ex-wife and I talked about this recently. Not knowing what you have. When we were married about 60 % of the house work was done by me. I cook, clean , help kids with homework and made the majority (sometimes all) of the income for the house hold. I also, cut my sons’ hair, did yard work and some home repairs. Made sure we went to church and always did little special things for her.

[@MsCheriecoco]

As a housewife, I DO SEE AND TOTALLY UNDERSTAND HER POINT 100% .

[@jf1614]

Nah... Ladies, y'all still don't get it. It's something about your lady cooking for you. You can pay someone all you want, but we want that food from you.

[@queenofthenile2485]

In Nigeria most households have a househelp, driver, nanny(ies), a handy man, etc. the staff size depends on how rich you are though. American women DO NOT have it easy.

[@teedoug5433]

True, we outsource mehn,

[@chinneynz7861]

Very true.

[@francisikwueme1688]

As a Nigerian I second that I grew with my parents having staff🙏🏿

[@ferdinandakesse4078]

Ladies ain't about cooking for your man all the time. I cook all the time for my woman. It's all about RESPECT and making your man feels like is the ONE.

[@DipSwagga]

how many ppl actually can afford a maid or house helper??…let’s be realistic in reality, most ppl are going to have to cook there own for and go grocery shopping …

[@boatenthusiastandexplorer6961]

Even if I can afford it I rather my wife cook for me and if she tired we can eat out I feel most woman want to make all this money u make money no one’s at home watching the kids but strangers

[@lavettalocaa4727]

Sounds like a 2 income household so ... Id imagine its not as big of a financial hit for them as it would be if it were 1 income

[@Kevinschart]

That's cool but it's not really how men work. There's something special about being fed by your woman. When his homeboys talk about how their wives made them some food he's always going to feel like he's missing out on something.

[@terseandtiny1746]

Bro ain't nobody going to cook for my dude on a regular unless we are at a restaurant. If I love you, I feed you in every way

[@chinneynz7861]

And how has that served women over the years?

[@parkboyju]

She speaking on herself , not other women.

[@pjbrownemusic]

​@chinneynz7861 She wasn't talking about how it served women over the years. She simply said that no one was going to be cooking for her man, but her.

[@pjbrownemusic]

​@chinneynz7861 All of a sudden, a woman can't focus on other things if she is cooking. I bet she focuses on Facebook every day when she is at home.

[@angeledwards7646]

@@pjbrownemusic yeeep

[@sg5720]

I married a man who can cook. I can cook but definitely not as good as him, so I made sure to marry a man that can cook and teach me to cook better. I made sure to marry a man that can take cate of a household just like I can. Hubby and I just have each others back, so if there is something I can’t get to, hubby gets it done and vice verse. To us these are the basics that everyone she be able to do in a serious relationship or marriage. Trust, makes like so much easier for EVERYONE. 😊

[@shakyfrazer8127]

Awesome that's how its supposed to be

[@BreGrateful]

Nothing is like the intentions of love that goes into a home-cooked meal. You can taste it when your parents cook for you, partner cook, and even just a love one. Its something that hit different. Even if its the same recipe. Its the soul thats in it

[@JohnDoe-gc1kt]

Big facts

[@texan903]

100% correct. There's a difference between cooking to get the job done and cooking with love.

[@SYRNofNNINE]

@@texan903 if you typically finish work at 7pm guess which version you’re likely to get

[@texan903]

@@SYRNofNNINE let another woman fill in in the kitchen for you too many times, guess what you're going to get...a divorce.

[@fitawrarifitness6842]

Preach!

[@jeprusan]

Absolutely. I wholeheartedly agree. Women were not designed to help the provider provide eight hours a day and then be the exceptional homemaker and nurturer as well. And when you try to do it all, there’s never a balance. Unfortunately some of these modern men think we’re supposed to do it though. I’d recommend it to any wife/mother/career woman: if you can afford it, hire some help. You’ll live longer, be happier, better able to prioritize time, and be able to focus on the things that are more important.👏🏼🙌🏼👍🏼

[@SoulBeauty1111]

Jen, I share the same perspective! Some traditional practices worked well for the good of the family unit. Our community is out of balance because we’re out of balance. Keep shining your light Queen!✨

[@jeprusan]

@@SoulBeauty1111 You do the same!🥰👏🏼👍🏼♥️

[@Shunae1111]

I feel her… it’s stressful when you work and you have to come home and cook and clean them entertain your man and family You need assistance