She films herself getting MISGENDERED ? My reaction as a Trans Woman myself…

[@Benevolent_Timelord]

Being misgendered is in no way near a "knife in the heart." Getting wait staff in trouble because you set them up to misgender you is a cowardly stab in the back.

[@-_YouMayFind_-]

Yes and they forget that also people that are not trans or non binary/queer etc are at times being misgendered as me when I was a teenager, but it was worse because they did it to bully me instead of with trans thatpeople really didnt know because trans have a fase where they look like a guy because they are not transitioned enough yet

[@theresas740]

And by her pantomime , "it's like a knife in the (right lung)." Your heart is on the LEFT side of your chest, Madam.

[@bobbiejojackson9448]

@@-_YouMayFind_- I could be totally wrong about this, but there's a pattern that I've noticed in almost every one of this guy's videos. And before I continue, I feel like I need to stress that I am not, in any way, trying to stereotype any particular race or ethnicity. This is simply an observation on my part and if anything, it goes to this TikToker's character more than anyone else's. That being said... I can't help but notice that the wait staff who are serving this guy in pretty much every restaurant he goes to, seem to have something in common. Most, if not all, of the people who he complains about have an accent and seem to be from other cultures. Think about all of the migrants who are coming here from more religious/Hispanic countries. This trend that we're seeing in the US, where every Tom, Dick and Harry is now claiming to be trans, just isn't happening in every other country. So, I suppose what I'm getting at, is that, if he's choosing restaurants where he knows that the person who will be serving him doesn't fully understand gender ideology and all of the new language cues that go with it, that makes what he's doing to these servers, all the more unscrupulous. Imagine being a server in a restaurant where you're already in the process of learning the customs and language of your new country and finding yourself being complained about by a narcissistic customer who gets some kind of weird satisfaction out of being referred to as the gender that they're perceived as being? These folks must be terrified that they might be fired, over something that they just don't understand. (I genuinely hope that what I'm trying to point out makes sense. I'm just seeing this guy as a total a$$, who seems to be taking advantage of people who are completely innocent.)

[@tuttuttut7758]

These people work so hard and for low pay. They don’t need this narcissistic people making it harder. This is a set up indeed

[@rebeccacoleman3341]

It probably does hurt, because it means your presentation failed. That's not on them. That's on the presenter. Know what a born woman does when she gets called he? Laughs and goes on. Because she KNOWS what she is.

[@writerdirect]

thats what you call emotional entrapment alexis; the person knows they present as a man basically and they are waiting for you to call them " he " so they can throw a scene

[@latsnojokelee6434]

This person obviously has a desperate need for attention. Obviously when you’re bringing an animal to a restaurant and you’re putting a hat on it, you desperately want people to notice you and then wearing midriff tops on what is obviously a masculine body is obviously going to tip people off that your male. Plus keeping a deep male voice. Sadly, this kind of behavior encourages animosity towards the trans community. Some of the older trans people who transitioned back in the 1990s are now making videos about how this current generation of trans people is actually making lives much more difficult for the community.

[@Flymeonthebreeze]

YESSS!! The guy has made NO ATTEMPT to transition. Dressing up like a 7 year old little girl, doesn’t make you a man! You look like a man, in a costume.

[@jowallace4986]

💯🎯

[@MotherTerysa]

The voice and manners.., not lady like… wants meal comps…

[@jamesmckee329]

Gutterbutt

[@Siss2012]

Correct me if I’m wrong, I am not that well versed in the ins snd outs of gender dysphoria, but if I was trans and got misgendered the last thing I would want to do is broadcast it to the whole world. This person is a world class tool.

[@latsnojokelee6434]

From listening to other trans videos, yes, if people have true body dysmorphia, they do not want to advertise an event like this to everybody. This just looks like an attempt to get clicks on social media.

[@anastasiae.5338]

There is no dysphoria with that guy. He's a "famous" victim.

[@natashakendall9586]

MTF here, you are absolutely correct. If I get misgendered while doing my best presenting femme, I go home and cry about it to my cats while eating ice cream in dysphoria filled sadness lol

[@Siss2012]

@@natashakendall9586 cats are the best therapists!

[@kristinabc1143]

@@natashakendall9586aww, sweetheart *hugs* … shake it off, 99% of people aren’t intentionally trying to be mean! I’ve been female since birth, and back in the early 80s as a teenager (when you’re really emotionally vulnerable), I tried going with a short haircut when everyone was doing long, including the guys, and I got called sir and son by quite a few people, despite my DD’s 😂 and let me tell you, some of the more effeminate guys wearing their grunge rock band long hair got called ma’am! I’ll be honest, first time it happened, I cried … but after that my twisted sense of humor kicked in, and I’d answer back with the deepest voice I could produce 🤣🤣

[@trilbynhiss]

I've seen this video several times but this is the first time I realized that she sets the scene by asking them to describe how she's going to enjoy the meal, etc which means they'll have to use a pronoun while doing so. It's like a sting operation and she's apparently hoping they *will* misgender her.

[@RaefonB]

Ah interesting, I wasn't aware of that either and have seen these clips person several times before.

[@Silkebronx]

Its a man , he is not even trying to pass all. He is also compared children to donuts

[@catgirl6803]

Also there's another scene where I don't even hear the person use the pronoun.

[@kirielbranson4843]

having a server describe how you will enjoy a meal is so weird I don't even know what to say. I was a server for 10 years and no one ever asked me something like this although that was 1975-1985 so no one doing social media. Thankfully didn't have to deal with that.

[@hebdenmags]

She is setting it up to monetize it!

[@racheltaylor73]

I dont like how these restaurant workers are being bullied. They are bringing you food and filling your drinks and they are being put through these mind games. Some people just like being mean to waitstaff

[@viviannichols3582]

The way the “knife in the heart” comment comes AFTER the, “I’m so sorry” shows that this person is never going to be satisfied. 🙄

[@AnnaH74]

You speak in a gentle feminine way, I know a few trans women that had voice coaching and that's helped them so much with feminising their voices. Maybe she should hire a voice coach instead of buying expensive meals. Because as it stands that voice alone is very manly.

[@powerpuff_avenger]

Not to mention that receding hairline and that facial hair that even the damn filter and makeup can't hide... Also, mocking women by wearing that ridiculous "French" outfit. That Dylan Mulvaney DUDE is also great and ridiculing womanhood. EDIT: Alexis, on the other hand, is so respectful and feminine and honestly she totally passes for me. If anything, she's too kind about these toxic people that are just there to make a scene and gain clout. Alexis seems like a really nice lass.

[@danabuck6461]

Alexis, you are just a warm and kind human being. You understand that 99% of people do not set out on their daily journey to misgender someone. I just love your common sense content.

[@norwalkspectator5275]

I agree. When a friend transitioned, I struggled to get the right words. Fortunately, my friend simply shrugged and we moved on.

[@DennisLove-qs3uj]

She suffers from a a mental illness and people like you that affirm this lunacy have a lot to answer for. Would you tell a person with anorexia that they were fat?

[@elliemiller74]

Alexis is my new favorite KZbinr because she's so thoughtful and kind.

[@iTeacupPanda]

I mean 99% definitely isn't the case, but I'd say most people don't go out of their way to be assholes. But it's definitely not 99% of people or even 90% of people.

[@p.s.shnabel3409]

@@DennisLove-qs3uj And yet here you are, using the pronoun of her choice ;) Which is telling me that your brain has identified her as female. As for the mental illness issue, as far as I know the most promising therapy currently known is to address whether or not there are other, underlying issues (and help with them) and when that's not the case, then trying to ease the body dysphoria. This is typically done by coming as close to the representation the patient seeks as possible. I am honestly not sure it's a good idea, either? But I feel empathy and compassion for anyone who is unhappy (through no fault of their own) and as long as they don't step on my toes, I'm not gonna step on theirs. Alexis seems to be a lovely person (much kinder than I am, I can assure you). I see no reason to harm her and if a tiny thing like a pronoun from a stranger can make her a bit happier, I personally see no harm in being (for once) gracious. Attempted suicide rates unfortunately remain the same, whether we go your route or mine. So, if you were to ask me, we haven't found the right solution, yet.

[@dspadi1017]

I think she’s setting up the camera for content and in turn, attention. It would be different if these people were purposefully misgendering her but they aren’t. The only person who ends up looking bad is her.

[@andreapartytown]

Restaurants…. Probably trying to get a free meal… it’s the voice it’s still very masculine and so if you were a blind person you would be hearing a male voice

[@dspadi1017]

@@andreapartytown I didn’t even think about the free food thing, lol. My grandmother is super mean to waitstaff and constantly complains to get free meals. Some people are shameless.

[@Blom2021]

Or is she filming good content and this is a clip she gets when she does that

[@raymueller1155]

Why are some of the comments saying "she " ? Hes clearly a "he" pretending to be a woman. Lets be real, and stop pandering to these attention seeking people.

[@Blom2021]

@@raymueller1155 for me it’s because that’s what they want to be called and because of this is Alexis video and she have been in the same spot as this person. I don’t know enough of the person in the video to know their story and if they are genuine.

[@MyBlackPumpkinSoup]

People make mistakes, honest mistakes. Most workers on this video showed to be really chill, they apaologized, they tried to be nice, the recorder is actually being quite a jerk in the way she acts. Alexis is right here, she is painting an accident as something they did on purpose

[@duncanhewitt6557]

There calling a man sir this isn't misgendering.

[@MyBlackPumpkinSoup]

@@duncanhewitt6557 I talking about the clear intention to blame someone for a mistake, like calling your sister your 'girlfriend' cause you two look similiar. Although I don't think this is a real trans person, I also do not agree 100% with what you said

[@13zaphikel]

It also sounds like some of the waitstaff weren't native English speakers so the whole trans and pronouns thing might not be as familiar to them

[@nummulite99]

This! For most of us, it’s quite distressing to know we’ve (accidentally) upset someone. We need to have the good grace to acknowledge an honest mistake, accept the apology and move on to more important issues.

[@seenomro]

Hi Alexis, im trans living in the Middle East, and I love ur content when I watch other “trans” people yelling and screaming about being misgendered is so sad bc it’s like in the words of Kourtney Kardashian, “There are people that are dying” im in the closet and I get “misgendered” all the time, obviously, but it doesn’t cause more dysphoria than the male sex characteristics that I have. It almost seems that these people on Tik Tok who claim to be trans have no dysphoria about their sex characteristics but they get surprised when they get misgendered it’s crazy. Anyways, love you keep up the good work 💕

[@nickwarner8158]

I highly recommend moving out of the middle east if you wish to have a life expectancy.

[@annalouisehorn]

I’m a 5’10” CIS woman with a masculine build. I’ve been addressed as “sir” a few times in my life. No hard feelings! People usually correct themselves when they actually pause a moment and really see the person. Each time I’ve been called sir, I never responded, and when they looked at me and how I present myself, then they corrected themselves. These waiters are super busy and partially on autopilot. Give them a chance to see you!

[@Myviewingtime07]

I think this day and age that people need to learn to be comfortable in their own skin. If you truly know who you are, you don’t need anyone to validate you. I think you show that in your videos, by breaking down the videos. Also you conduct yourself with class 🙂

[@Chaos_Inkarnate]

I just recently came out as trans, I can't get on HRT for a year, because I have to live as the gender I identify with. I am always being misgendered because i really do look male wearing makeup and women's cloths. It's not a big deal with me if someone calls me him/he/sir. It's definitely mot worth posting a social media just for views.

[@pussycats456]

You’ll ALWAYS look like a male wearing makeup, no matter what you do to deform your body. This may hurt but it’s true, it’s never convincing no matter what your friends and family say.

[@ChelleKT1]

Be true to yourself and don’t worry about how the world sees you right now. Travel your journey and use the experiences you unfold for the positive. Be strong and you will come out of the next year a better, wiser, stronger person. Good luck in your self journey x

[@Nanitamochi]

I respect you for fighting this battle and being strong enough to not let that faze you. I hope you can get going to fully transition as you want soon!

[@mycatspethooman5590]

She seems to be baiting people, given she looks petty male and certainly sounds male i think its grossly unfair to do that just for clicks and likes

[@DaniHGirl]

Right? This person isn’t even trying to work on a female voice 🤦‍♀️

[@winec00ler]

Right?! Like if i was an accident it would be part of a greater clip where she "happened" to catch this behavior. But its a overarching theme. SMH

[@pussycats456]

……HE!

[@wendyhall8182]

She's (and Im being polite by using the she/her pronouns even though shes not trying very hard to look and sound female) is doing this deliberately, setting up the people she comes into contact with in order to video the interactions for her tictok and to get extra notches on her victim belt.. To some people, she may look like a feminine gay man. The lines are getting very blurry these days.

[@ithamarlowe6158]

He might not even be trans, he looks like a guy that just put on lipstick and said he’s trans and I don’t think that’s how it works.

[@kristinabc1143]

I work in the medical field, and being respiratory, I can have as many as 40 patients to assess in a shift … I can’t tell you how many times I’ve accidentally said the wrong gender, but only because I go thru like 6 rooms saying ma’am, then the next room is a gentleman, and yes ma’am pops out of my mouth, or vice versa 😮 I’m always embarrassed, and apologize immediately. Luckily only a few over 35+ years have had an issue with it. So sometimes it’s not just subconscious in seeing a gender, sometimes it’s just a slip of the tongue

[@Jenn-cr2zs]

Somebody who purposely misgenders will not be sorry to be called out on it. They will actually enjoy the person they misgender getting upset. Someone who does it by accident, you could lose a potential ally by humiliating them and possibly getting them fired by calling them out on social media.

[@13zaphikel]

That's true! Instead of them walking away with a good impression of trans people they are walking away thinking trans people are dramatic and crazy.

[@NiaLaLa_V]

Also let's not forget the golden rule from the movie Waiting. Do NOT F*** with people who handle your food. I really hope restaurants still work the way they did 20 years ago when i worked in that industry. I even had managers who would rub your chicken patty on their junk if you acted this vile to us.

[@futuremelina]

This is why some people are afraid to talk to trans people, who knows if they'll be sensitive the whole time you're with them and trying to constantly "educate" and "correct" others on some stuff that's in their head. What a fun friend that is 😭

[@mm-ln9sw]

i tend to shy away from interacting with trans people i encounter irl, not because i care about how they are choosing to lead their life, but more bc i am so on guard like what if i accidentally say something wrong, or look at them wrong, or do something that is going to upset them and get me screamed at and cause a scene? i would never do something intentionally. and i’m not at all saying every trans person acts that way. but the majority of the online representation of the trans community these days sadly leaves me feeling like i just cant be sure, and in order to avoid causing any sort of drama for someone, i’d rather just keep the interaction to as much of a bare minimum as possible.

[@dammbabygirl]

Thank you, Alexis for all of your insight. ❤ I have worked in the service industry for a very long time (25+ years) and have subconsciously used the wrong pronouns, but never out of disrespect. 😢 It is MORTIFYING, but we all make mistakes. I could also say that it feels like a stab to the heart if I make that mistake. This person is setting people up for attention. The trans friends that I have want anything BUT attention, they just want to blend in without notice and be comfortable.

[@gypsylee333]

Why would it be mortifying??? 😂😂

[@catgirl6803]

@@gypsylee333 As someone who's also worked in food/retail, sometimes you call someone the wrong gender just because you've been there for 8 hours saying the same things over and over. And sometimes you'll say sir, when it's clearly a woman. People sometimes just say the wrong words by mistake. I used to work the drive thru window almost every day, but occasionally they'd put me on the restaurant register. I don't know how many times I would accidentally say "...at the first window." to people who were standing at the counter.

[@gypsylee333]

@@catgirl6803 I completely get that, that's why I don't think it would be mortifying, it's just not that big of a deal and we all need to ignore the giant toddlers trying to make a big deal out of this stuff.

[@maxrogers9711]

Hi, I used to get misgendered a lot in the 1980s because I chose to dress like a boy. It wasn't something i thought about, it was just me picking clothes that Iiked. I always felt happy when people thought I was a boy. Lesbians found me very attractive. One time, a gay man tried to pick me up. I never felt misgendering as a knife in the heart. If this lady wants to be perceived as female, then she might want to work on pitching her voice higher. You, Alexis are so sweet and really ladylike and I know you would never go around biting people's heads off for a tiny mistake. Thanks for being a voice of moderation. You do a much better job of being female than I ever managed. My husband is a bit feminine so we work out well together. Married for 25 years now! Hugs from Maxine

[@mm-ln9sw]

i can’t relate to how a trans person feels, i’ve never experienced gender dysphoria, but if someone were to call me sir or refer to me as a man, i would just laugh. no amount of calling me sir is going to make me spontaneously grow a penis. i’m still a woman no matter what word someone uses towards me. that’s just my personal feelings

[@thatswhatshesaid14]

I'm only a few minutes in and I just have to say on the hair thing, Do not stress!!!! I'm 34 and I'm still learning and figuring out how to do my hair. It's a forever process and you will constantly be learning new and different things. It's the beauty of hair. Just don't stress. And I'll be honest, it doesn't look great, BUT, it also doesn't look bad. You yourself look gorgeous. SO, my advice is to wear anything with confidence. NO MATTER WHAT! I tell my daughter this all the time. Confidence is key. You can wear the silliest thing and as long as you're confident, you will always look great. And girl, you look great! 💚

[@daleannharsh8295]

I think if I were out there trying to be perceived differently, I would take the mistakes as clues that I wasn't doing enough, and I would search for help on doing better. I have seen several of this individual's videos being presented on different channels and there's no change in appearance or demeanor. Makes me think they are just out there to get hits on 'offended' content.

[@whyjordie]

I’m a trans man and even though I’ve been on Testosterone for 9 months I still have a feminine voice and get called ma’am and I’ve never had an issue with it because that’s just what they’re hearing and I’m not about to throw a hissy fit over it. I do respect that she’s upset but to get so upset about people she doesn’t know misgendering her just by what they hear and raising her voice at them (in other videos I’ve seen on her instagram), asking for managers, etc, is so uncool and frankly it makes all trans people look deranged and attention-seeky.

[@xavierrose8208]

You are a breath of fresh air in this LGBT circus. Thank you ❤

[@shep9231]

Amen!

[@simeridraws]

Getting misgendered when you're suffering from gender dysphoria must be really hard. To me it would be worse in a way if someone assumed that this person on the videos pronouns were "she" simply cause of the dress and makeup. It would sort of tie gender norms and clothing harder to respective sex which I think isn't really progress. I assume they're going off sex characteristics which as you say is something our brain does automatically. You have such a healthy outlook on these things. Thank you for your videos. ❤

[@gillianomotoso328]

I mean, I feel she is pretty obviously a trans woman. Trans, but still a woman

[@astroterf.]

​@@gillianomotoso328 No he really isn't

[@BeeCHee87]

Agreed 100%! It's a recipe for gender non-conforming people to get misgendered, actually. Wearing a certain type of clothing or makeup is not what makes me a woman.

[@jamielynnwallace1125]

As I heard on another reaction video...which I agree with... that if you are constantly getting "misgendered" , that is a sign that you need to work harder on your presentation. Rarely do people go out of their way to misgender a transperson. Most of the time people just react to what they perceive...so if a transperson is getting misgendered, they are being perceived as that gender.

[@nacht_owl]

That’s not true at all. Your viewpoint is actually Harmful to someone’s peace of mind. I get misgendered because I haven’t physically, transitioned. That doesn’t mean that I don’t look good enough etc. Not all of us are able to go on HRT, so what you’re saying is actually terrible and can further someone’s dysphoria.

[@eilvahfloridollorens4783]

This comment is transphobic and super insensitive. First of all not every trans people is able to achieve femenine standards, and that doesn't makes them less trans. If a cis women is a bit masculine it's ok but if a trans women is then we can missgender her. Honestly there's no excuse to hurt someone, specially intentionally. Like it's always the topic trying to put the beauty standards so high for trans women,. Like trans women don't have to be models to be valid and a women. Leave trans people alone. This world is full of hate

[@FayeFaye-]

@@nacht_owl At least someone gets it. I feel like the comment section is filled with people who have high standards and expectations. I see this girl is trying hard with make up and fem clothes but apparently its not good enough?? I mean, what does this mean for me then? Give up and hope I'll be lucky in the next life? Especially because I live in an area where people would beat me up for not passing. Passing just means pure safety for me here.

[@tarynriver]

@@nacht_owlit’s not about looking good enough it’s about passing as the gender you want to pass as if you don’t look like the gender your trying to pass as unfortunately reality is reality and people on first glance and first judgement will probably misgender not purposely but because people use context clues automatically it’s not even a conscious thing we do our brains gather data and we use that data to interpret things in a split second I get not everyone can go on hormones right away but you can’t expect people to know your gender if you don’t pass

[@desertcat4193]

Once again, you are so spot on as well as gracious. I have misgendered many trans-women and will say with all honesty it's because the person didn't "pass" as a woman; I wasn't actively thinking about whether the person was male or female, I was just going about my business. Unfortunately, the trans-woman featured in this video has a very masculine demeanor and a deep voice with an aggressively masculine cadence. It's so unfair to try to trap people this way. And I have bad hair days too.

[@RubberJunk1]

I got “misgendered” today, I’m FTM and have long hair. The guy at the counter called me ma’am very respectfully. I didn’t correct him, he changed to sir when he got a better look at me. I kinda felt like royalty for a moment, sounds so much more polite than miss.

[@sallyjrwjrw6766]

Royalty, I love it! I don't understand the ma'am hate.

[@RubberJunk1]

@@sallyjrwjrw6766 Me either and he’s a petrol garage attendant, I wasn’t expecting that level of etiquette. Recently I met a new friend who used my bathroom before me as we both needed to go. When I got in the toilet seat had been put down. I was blown away, I bet he doesn’t do that for his girlfriend. Point being, accepting my femaleness has helped my GD so much and I can appreciate gestures like this which really do demonstrate respect and understanding.

[@krystaldaniels7940]

You are soooo right!! I have been there, accidentally calling a trans woman “he” and I never wanted to put my foot in my mouth so bad!! Thankfully, she was sooo sweet and chill about it, she never skipped a beat and kept right on with conversation like it never happened. I’m sure she saw my cheeks go red… I just LOVE how you totally understand the biological side and that we legitimately don’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings (most of us anyway…assholes DO exist)❤💕❤️

[@AngryPanda.]

there's nothing wrong with your hair it looks great btw. Really appreciate your "middle ground" approach to all this. So many people claim to b centrists toeing the line when they clearly have a faction/cause to fight for. You're one of the few online commentators who actually comes across as authentic and genuine. Also as a bar manager really appreciated 4:52 THANKYOU!

[@Prence]

I was at my psychologist and I mentioned that when I use the women’s restroom I always have a fear of being “clocked”. She didn’t know what that was, she thought being “clocked” was being punched. I had to explain what it was and about how most trans women love pickles. I had to explain how the spiro will remove the salt and pickles replace it. She doesn’t seem to know a lot of things about being trans, I don’t mind explaining things because, let’s face it, you won’t know things if you aren’t going through transition. If someone genuinely doesn’t know or understand something, don’t get upset, just explain to them what they don’t know. Leave them with a more positive experience of a trans woman/man. Maybe the next trans person they come across won’t get misgendered or be treated horribly. Even if they are rude and hateful, don’t give them what they’re looking for. Don’t let them have a bad view of all trans people.

[@Prence]

@@DK-nn9id I know. Bring misgendered is nothing to be upset about. They weren’t malicious, they just misspoke.

[@13zaphikel]

And you are going to be a much happier person for seeing things that way and trying to put positivity in the world instead of being triggered and throwing fits all the time. I'm a heavily tattooed person and I know that some people judge me a certain negative way because of that and instead of being upset about it I try to be a good example of a human being to help break the stigma. I've had many people tell me they thought I was "scary" at first and that I surprised them with my calm and friendly demeanor, and now they don't necessarily see people with tattoos as scary.

[@Prence]

@@13zaphikel read my other comment on how I don’t get upset about being misgendered. It’s there all you have to do is look for it. And please don’t assume anything about me. The world would be a happier place if people just didn’t assume about others.

[@doamaker6674]

I know you're trying to give them the benefit of the doubt Alexis, you did point out something that this person has the camera rolling because they're anticipating being misgendered. What I want to know is how many times they don't get misgendered, that would offer a lot more to what the issue really is.

[@Livingtheinvisiblelife]

This is the whole thing, they are preemptively filming for the sole purpose of what? Every single one of these wait staffers were so polite and so apologetic and this person is acting like this was all done on purpose.

[@doamaker6674]

@@Livingtheinvisiblelife I know. I see these kinds of videos a lot and to be honest they disgust me.

[@anastasiae.5338]

He is doing it for attention. He is "trans" for attention. He is no more trans than I am. He knows he isn't a woman, he has no intention of ever becoming a woman. He is doing this so he can be felt sorry for. There are a lot of incredibly dim people on the planet that will urge him to continue being a professional victim.

[@karengreenfield7773]

I thought the exact same thing. Celebrate the wins.

[@mxdahliabelle]

In nearly every case, there's already food or drink on the table, indicating that she starts recording after having been misgendered. The conversations would also imply that she starts recording after repeated misgendering, and at no point does she resort to threats or screaming; merely frustration and hyperbole. Being misgendered doesn't feel like "a knife in the heart." It feels like being called ugly. In either case, I don't have the time or energy to invest in someone else's perception of me.

[@sarahk3925]

Alexis your hair is way better than I can do hair and I'm 50 and still crap at it lol, so you're doing great 😍 I've been watching your videos a while. My observation is, no matter what walk of life, male, female, bi, trans, different races, people from different countries and cultures, there are always going to be these extreme people, it's just that the ones who do behave this way get more screen time than your average kind of people, who don't make scenes, who are balanced. I'm glad you're here to be the sanity to observe. It's just a shame the minority that do this cause unnecessary stress, unnecessary hate, unnecessary damage to both trans people and non trans people who get the wrong impression. The bad are shared more than the good. Keep sharing the love, it's so needed ❤ xx

[@Merina2222]

You have such a great nuanced take on this as usual, Alexis! These videos really left an odd taste in my mouth. This transwoman presents in an ambiguous way, even wearing masculine clothing in some of those videos - so the employees naturally assume she's a man. When she calls them out, they're full of apologies and shower her with sympathy and attention. So...what's the point of this exercise? She's not exposing transphobes - if anything, she's demonstrating how kind and understanding most people are towards transwomen when this happens! It almost seems as though she's 'baiting' people in order to catch them on camera, which doesn't sit right with me.

[@oliverhalewood3364]

Your such a wonderful person alexis 💕 I have struggled so much with my gender identity and seeing how you managed to transition slightly later has given me hope... Im in my 20s and it feels so daunting to have to wait I wish i could click and be where you are now

[@TheArielski]

I suppose her name is Karen?

[@RubberJunk1]

I find the best way to combat this is to wholly accept your biological sex. I used to be stealth but too many people found out so I just let it go. I have gotten used to telling people that I am biologically female but live as a trans man. Because I don’t resist my biologically reality and have integrated it in to my Identity, it really doesn’t bother me if I’m misgendered. I don’t fit neatly in to the categories of man or woman and that’s fine. What’s important to me is I am not crippled by dysphoria like I used to be. I can function in the world and that’s a vast improvement. Part of my experience as a trans person is accepting you can’t have everything you want, you can’t force people to see you the way you want them too, nobody can and nobody does.

[@reneegosda6851]

You said it correctly. We all make mistakes. I believe she is attention seeking since she finds it necessary to set up her camera to catch people in the act of misgendering. She is noticed because she has not perfected her feminine look or mannerisms yet. I feel liked she is still uncomfortable with herself, so how can she expect other to be comfortable around her. She is looking for validation.

[@Lutifah]

I’ve always been an allie but lately I’ve been dis heartened… you’ve restored my faith… the minority are ruining it for the majority and I need to remember they don’t speak got the whole community…. You are a breath of fresh air ❤❤

[@kathrynunderwood8242]

Hey Friend!!! (Friend is actually my preferred way of addressing all people... bump into someone commuting... sorry friend... etc. Lilly Tino is a resturant reviewer. She sets up the camera to review service and food and sometimes does lives on location. She isn't out to catch people missgendering her, but happens to catch it on film when it happens. Side note... you look lovely and the messy sidebun is a feminine, classic, romantic look. But truly... girl, you are flawless!

[@sylasgirl]

And then found out this gets more views on social media and has now made it a thing. Let’s not be naive here. This person is now looking to be misgendered for clout. And it’s working.

[@andyengle2238]

I am a woman. I was born a woman, and while i had a stage where I truly really wanted to be a man, my male side really liked my female body once i got in really great shape. So I decided to stay a woman and save the money on surgery and hormone treatments. So I am a woman presenting as a woman, even if a manly woman with muscles and a deeper voice for a woman... but still sometimes when I wear baggy clothes and lift really heavy things, I get called "sir." It doesn't bother me at all, in fact it usually makes me smile. Because I am sirma'am, the great in between, the wonderful androgenous, the best of both genders, whatever you want to call it. It doesn't bother me at all, because my man stage taught me that gender isn't actually as important as society would lead you to believe. It always shocks me when people get so bent out of shape over a simple misgender. Now, if you repeatedly refuse to call me by my preferred shortened name and insist on using my legal name (After I've asked repeatedly and explained my case on top of asking), we may have an issue... but thats a PTSD thing, really, not a gender thing, even though Andy is more masculine than Andrea so it may seem like a gender thing at first. But I do see the trans struggle, because most people who refuse to use my shortened name do assume at first that it's a gender thing and see my muscles and think I'm trying to be more masculine. Most people understand after I explain that I prefer gender neutrality/androgeny and that it's actually a PTSD thing, and hearing my full name called out, especially by a deeper voice has me immediately preparing for a beating and no longer residing in the moment... but some do still say "no Andy is too masculine, your name is Andrea." Though it is funny when they don't even pronounce my full name name properly, and doesn't set off the same reaction when they aren't even pronouncing it correctly. Though it does still hurt a little that they refuse to acknowledge both sides of my gender identity... so I guess I can understand a little bit of the pain of being misgendered... but I think an actual name is deeper than mere pronouns so I cant truly understand getting that bent out of shape over a simple sir vs ma'am. If it's that important, give them your NAME and ask them to call you by it instead of sir or ma'am, that generally gets the point across pretty well and is a better way to handle it than just getting really insulted over a simple pronoun mistake. Cause even though I'm a woman presenting as a woman, I still enjoy being called "sir" so it can't be that huge of a deal, in all fairness.

[@anya425]

I'm a 55 year old Christian woman, and I really enjoy your videos. You are one of the few who are a voice of reason when it comes to discussing these issues. Thank you! You seem like a really lovely person, and I think you are very pretty as well.

[@celestecorfield5984]

I wonder how many waiters didn't misgender her on camera. I think it's for content and attention p.s love your videos and level headed opinions well done you.

[@Prence]

I get misgendered occasionally and I just move on. I don’t make it a big deal. You can get upset over being misgendered but in the end, the big picture, you can’t change heir minds. Just move on. I don’t get it often, but occasionally it happens. Don’t make a huge scene because you will look like a Karen. Just say, I’m transgender and I would ask if they can please try.

[@DennisLove-qs3uj]

You don’t get misgendered, you are a man. Eradicate trans ideology.

[@bluetwinkiesaregood]

Me too. I was born a woman and sometimes people call me sir or say “oh you’re a girl?” It’s no big deal. I just move on with my day.

[@67jade]

If you look feminine to me I will address you accordingly, likewise if you looked masculine I will refer to you as sir . Why is it now my responsibility to validate you? You chose to present as something other than what you are biologically, and when you are not “passing” you get upset and cry transphobia. It is unfair to the general public that a handful of individuals should be causing such chaos.

[@DennisLove-qs3uj]

@@67jade pandering to mental illness never turns out well.

[@Prence]

@@67jade all I can say is that if you aren’t sure, you can ask or refer to them as their name. No one is expecting you to know, they just expect you not to be an ass. You wouldn’t like it if I purposely misgendered you. It’s called simple respect. It’s not all about what you want or how you feel. Think of someone else in your life.

[@shannonh.4632]

My mom misgendered me most of my life. I’m 53, I was born female and identify as female but more than half the time was called he/him. I don’t look male and my mom is not a bad person. Just the opposite. She would NEVER want to hurt another living soul and absolutely does not do this on purpose. I knew this growing up and so it was never a big deal to me. She did this with everyone. Male and female anything. Pets misgendered, even her own. If she gets it right, she is extremely focused and not at all relaxed. We believe the misgendering she has been doing all her life is due to some pretty bad dyslexia she has. To put this in some perspective, she had my birthdate wrong. I didn’t find out my actual birthdate until I stumbled on my birth certificate when I was 12. And yet she was as close to a perfect mom as anyone could ever have I assure you. The most beautiful person on the inside I have ever known. Her problems with dyslexia have been hard on her over the years. I just wanted to throw this out there so folks understand that it really truly isn’t always about you. Be kind. Be understanding. Whatever it is it’s usually a little more complicated than just black or white. I would think that people transitioning would understand this the most. I think by and large that most folks transitioning have probably never heard of this issue. So here it is. ❤️❤️❤️

[@mandyharewood886]

I'm so over this. He, she, they, whatever needs/ need to get over it. I have more to deal with than his, her, their, whatever foolish feelings. I'm out!

[@jimmeads7363]

I worked with people with body dysmorphia. I am also related to a transgender woman and her wife whom we love very much. Like you, they live their lives and respect others feelings and opinions. You are a lovely lady of the same ilk. You look beautiful and however your exterior is, you have a beautiful soul.

[@justlivinglife465]

I’ve been called “he” on a work call by a colleague whose first language isn’t English- it was just a slip up (I’m a regular woman lol). I didn’t give one single shit, mainly because I know I’m female so there’s nothing to invalidate. I don’t think transition should be about validation from every stranger. If you’re confident in who you are, it shouldn’t be a big deal (unless it’s on purpose to bully you, which isn’t ok)

[@misslucyyy]

This is what makes people villainize us(trans women). Passing privilege is 100% a real thing. However, like you said misgendering is mostly not out of a place of hate. Not to be this kinda girl, but her voice is INCREDIBLY masculine, not only because it's deep, but the tone isn't even somewhat feminine. What I find to be universally true about passing, one is clocked through things like their voice, aura, and body language over appearance(unless someone is so early that they clearly still present as a man). Even when, in my opinion, I was very masc or androgynous presenting early on, people would at least call me "they," but most of the time, it was "she." Even when I was still a "boy," people would tell me that the way I talked, walked with my hips, and interacted with the world was as if I was a girl. For me, I've been out 2 years, and one thing I've made very clear to my family and friends is that if you call me "he" or my birth name, that it's ok! To this day, I let my parents call me my birth name because I know they come from a good place and that I would rather have them be comfortable than feel forced to treat me a certain way. The only thing is that if they were to introduce me, they would introduce me as my name, not my dead name. When it comes to other people/strangers, however, I really don't care what they call me. I don't get misgendered nearly as much anymore, but when I do, I would never hold that person to being transphobic. Although being a transgender or transsexual isn't a new concept, being one publicly is just now being more socially accepted. The only thing I can say is she needs to realize that people make mistakes, and the reason why most of us trans girls don't say anything or correct people if they do refer to us in an incorrect way, is because we have been through enough to know who WE are. Someone calling me a "they, "it"," or "he" isn't gonna change who I am as a woman. My identity is my OWN, not anyone else's. Being misgendered can take an effect on your mental and is very hurtful and honestly a traumatic experience, anyone especially who is a biological man or woman can never truly speak on this topic simply because they don't experience it. I do think, though, that in order to create tolerance towards us(trans people) as a whole, we need to be tolerant when people slip up or make mistakes like misgendering. If we don't show cisgender people love and compassion, then how could we assume that we will receive the same in return.

[@lucianavolpe4078]

I have to be honest, I myself (as a transwoman) been missgendering trans men and women. It's a genuine mistake without the plans of hurting that person on purpose. Our brain is so tricky and also needs to adapt.😅

[@eavye95]

I feel like in customer service jobs, when you've been trained in life in those situations to use ma'am or sir, it's so hard to not use those. I'm sure it slips out when the brain goes on auto pilot and is just now a word that has been deemed offensive by a select few. I mean, it's hard enough for some people not not call a rude customer a "b****" let alone refrain from saying sir or ma'am. I know it's a thing everywhere, but it is especially in the south U.S with always "yes ma'am, no ma'am/yes sir, no sir" some of us were raised as kids to speak to all adults/elders this way as a way to show respect. It is a gesture of respect and I wish people would see that even if the wrong word slips out, not only was it not meant to be hateful, but it was meant to show respect.

[@MandiLJ22]

You are so right about how people feel when they’ve genuinely accidentally misgendered someone, especially someone they care about… This happened to me with a friend who periodically changed up their pronouns and it every time felt like I had just committed the most terrible faux-pas, but if I had also been told how awful I had made them feel and it was rambled on about, I don’t think I could’ve remained friends with them because I already felt bad enough myself and didn’t need a guilt trip to make it worse. *Most* people aren’t going out of their way to be jerks to you, but you can guarantee that if a stranger doubles down to make you feel bad about a genuine mistake, that’s one sure fire way to no longer make them feel bad that they messed up, but annoyed at you for being a jerk instead. Completely counterproductive.

[@samiwilcox5475]

I really appreciate you Alexis. I appreciate the time you take to educate people. I especially love when your partner come on and talks about grieving you as a man while embracing you as a Trans female. I've often wondered about how the people around a Trans individual deal with watching a transition.

[@AwestaKhalid]

brand new to your channel. I’ve been seeing a lot of trans youtubers disagreeing with and calling out this diner but i have to say, your response is very sweet and compassionate. Best wishes to you and your channel

[@dogwhiskers8]

You're kind Alexis. It can be confusing learning. You're very understanding. Better to kindly correct.

[@exovit6348]

A lot of us are still getting used to how to properly communicate without saying something unintentionally offensive as more people come out. Many of us aren't actively trying to misgender or invalidate. We are human and make mistakes, as you said Alexis a lot of it is subconscious. I appreciate the women and men in your community who give us that grace to learn. Esp since each persons definition of offensive is different. The best we can do is apologize and try to slow our minds down for future interactions and adjust based on what makes our friends feel safe but we still may not get it right every time. All of us are human!! ❤

[@jas_bataille]

On a sidenote from my main comment, I am SO happy to see other non-woke trans people!! I am non-binary and I know that I've been welcome under the trans umbrella but I don't actually have gender dysmorphia (body dysmorphia yes but that's another topic) so I don't really feel like I am. But I'm still part of the community of course :)

[@damonfrench8861]

Alexis, you always provide such an objective and mature perspective on these videos. In my opinion, I believe, she does these videos so that she will get her meals "comped or on the house" by the restaurant. As someone who worked in the hospitality industry for over a decade, I would frequently encounter people who would complain to management about the service they received and expect to have their meals or whatever service they are receiving "comped". From the dishes she ordered in the video, like oysters, I am guessing the restaurants were a little more upscale and these type of establishments put a great deal of emphasis on the quality of service they provide their customers. Therefore, she would more likely get some kind of discount from management on her bill, or might get her entire meal for free for the inconvenience. If this is the case, she is a con-artist!

[@mrqs1549]

You are so sweet and polite Alexis! So refreshing, that you give your opinion without trashing the others. I just started to subscribe your channel.

[@karapatrick7459]

I love hearing your perspective on life as you present in such an are so eloquent and sane way. You are an inspiration and so awesome to watch. Thank you!

[@meltedprincess]

He doesn't pass and he's mad about it.

[@cradica]

I met people who claimed they are trans but don't pass

[@Blackmail1]

In Mexico a trans woman name Wendy, was misgender by a waiter (he called her "Caballero") and you can see the disappointed in her eyes 💔, but she was super kind and respectful and she ask her followers not to send hate to him or to his employer. That's why I love Wendy so much, she's kind even when it hurts.

[@LuCa-ht2jl]

Well let's face it Wendy does looks like a trans person. And no one can force another person to use a different pronoun that what your eyes perceive. Yet you are right Wendy is really kind to most people. Or at least was before getting more famous. Hear rumours of Wendy becoming rude and breaking up the group of friends I really hope not. It would be a bummer if that's true

[@Silkebronx]

Wendy is a man

[@jowallace4986]

It's trans people in those videos who are giving the trans community & amazing trans people like you Alexis a bad name. I've only just discovered your channel but your informative, friendly, calm demeanour is so refreshing to watch & I'll be catching up on all your videos so thank you ❤

[@kelly-kx2io]

As a post-op transsexual who completed my SRS 4 decades ago & just go on with my life unnoticed as best I could. I want nothing to do with many of those caught up in today's transgender movement ! They go out of thier way to make it hard work. They are a bloody liability.

[@onestepcloseraway437]

It’a hard for some people to stop saying “like” so often. In this case, it’s like telling people to stop using the word “the”. It’s not conscious at all.

[@Rumpelstiltskinsdaughter]

I’m sure the restaurant didn’t have a staff meeting before and tell them the customer with the glasses doesn’t want to be called sir! People are pussy’s these days and get offended too easily!

[@fenzirulfr]

he goes out of his way to get offended for views and clout

[@Rumpelstiltskinsdaughter]

@@fenzirulfr that’s what I was thinking too!

[@tarantulagirl]

I got misgendered at school, by the headteacher when I was 12, in front of my entire school year and I’m not even trans. The ridicule I got off my peers was horrendous but there was nothing I could do about it I just had to move on.

[@sallyjrwjrw6766]

The book Liar has a cis teenage girl get misgendered on the first day of a new school and she just rolls with it. A classmate realizes she is female after hearing her laugh.

[@jeanetteeast7343]

I think it’s the voice. When u hear a deep male voice our instincts pop up.❤

[@VioletKitty411]

I was within 2 feet of a woman (whom I didn't know was a woman), looked her dead in the eye and addressed her as "sir." She didn't have a cow, just said "I'm a woman," to which I responded, "I'm so sorry." She didn't do anything else, just let me know. That's all that needed to happen. Butch lesbians and femme boys have been getting misgendered for decades but it is only this new generation of the trans community (not all of them) who feel it is my responsibility to know their pronouns.

[@jazzybash1]

I’ve gotten misgendered and I’m cis. For me, it’s just have been from people who aren’t really paying attention to who they are looking at and automatically default to “sir”. I get a little upset but, I get over it because it was a mistake and people don’t really pay attention. For this lady, it could be just a slip of the tongue, the staff heard her voice first and tbh she looks still like a guy, and nowadays people wear whatever they want and wear makeup, their hair,etc and they aren’t transitioning at all. I’m sorry but welcome to society where people make mistakes even with ciswomen who have no male features.

[@flyprincess69]

I was misgendered 99% of the time and it was nbd. I later underwent FFS and VFS and people that don’t know me can’t tell…

[@i.b.640]

I am a Bio woman and have been called "young gentlemen" by accident and "half a man" out of spite even with long hair and a large bust - because I have hard movements, a low voice and a gruff way of doing things and quite the jaw. I don't look like a guy, but I can extrude "male energy". Didn't always like it, but I actually laughed it off and was done.

[@YTpsychMyths2]

The brain unconsciously calculates in milliseconds what gender a person is. It’s usually involuntary. Also, should we ASSUME that they are a woman? What if they’re non-binary or gender fluid? We’d still be making assumptions. My wife is a tomboy, should waiters assume she’s trans, non binary? That part kinda upsets me. This person dresses like a child and less so a woman. It comes across as a mockery imo. I think it’s a power issue.

[@mespb]

I went to her channel to see why she was filming herself. She is a vlogger food critic. She films it not because she wants to get filmed being misgendered, but because it’s a video of her restaurant review. Most of it is just what she thinks of the food. Then someone stitched it together of all these instances. I thought it was weird too, but realized this was a stitch. Hopefully that gives more context.

[@sueharvey4747]

I think attention seeking is a good way to describe her, but to be honest at the moment most people would mis-gender her!

[@sweetscreams666]

Just discovered your channel and instantly subbed. I like how you don’t sugarcoat your words but still remain respectful

[@jonathansoto4191]

That kind of behaviour Makes me not give a damn about hurting their feefee

[@Prence]

@Alexis, girl even before I found out I was transgender, if I had saw or even talked to you, I would never been able to click you girl. You are so beautiful and do feminine. I gave another friend and she gets blocked sometimes and I can’t see why. She’s absolutely beautiful and I am so jealous of how she has turned out. She’s like my sister, my family. I love her.

[@sarahtomlin6398]

You are so thoughtful and understanding. The world could use more of it 💗

[@shanie7192]

I wonder if servers should be trained to not use Sir or Ma'am when addressing people at a table when they might be unsure of a person's identity? Instead, by using body language, turning towards the person they are addressing and eye contact. Just say " how are you today ?" Looking at the person who could then add on Ma'am or Sir if they want to be addressed a certain way. Alexis, as usual you are a sane voice of reason, I think a lot of this comes from you knowing who you are within yourself, that's the way it comes across to me anyway.

[@bettymaines6305]

You bring out a very good point - this was filmed preemptively. That said, was this edited in such a way to create a certain point of view? Was things done to trigger misgendering that were edited out ? There is no way of knowing, and while I am not accusing this person of selectively editing , I still cannot over look the questions I have in my mind. Every road we take in life is going to have it sets of challenges , and if you are trans , from time to time being misgendered is probably going to be one of them. This is just a life challenge , like all life challenges all of us face , that we need to learn to work through , accept, rise above. What ever you want to call it , but get over it and get on with your life. Life is not easy , trans or not.

[@amyctay]

You really nailed it talking about the subconscious providing the information. 92-95% of our decisions throughout a day are subconscious.

[@leftfield1977]

I like people with genuine, rational, empathetic and realistic viewpoints. You're clearly one of them, Alexis! Nice one, cheers.

[@nekoabernathy9831]

First off your hair looked super cute! I actually loved it! if u use a little dry shampoo or hair spray on ur hair before u pin it up the Bobby pins hold better 😊 I just found your channel and I already love it lol I'm gonna binge watch ur videos now

[@miniscenesgb]

Hair looks great Alexis however you wear it lol. So agree about that person. I wish all trans people had your attitude. The 2 I know do, and they are just totally accepted. When I had short hair and no makeup and was skinny I got called HE sometimes and I'm a woman. Used you just make me smile and move on

[@steviejunior9692]

“Because it’s going viral” is the answer. We have been conditioned to believe that our worth as individuals is directly linked to how many friends, subscribers, likes, clicks, views and whatever else I’ve forgotten that we get. That’s one of the reasons so many people jump on the current trend. As soon as being transsexual is no longer the hot topic so many of these people will stop with the misgendering videos and move on to whatever takes its place. As a gay man I can remember not too long ago it was all about homosexuality. So many coming out videos were circulating. So many videos about homophobia were circulating. Yet that stopped as soon as the next big thing happened. Anywho, love your videos.

[@dammar117]

I get "misnationalized" all the time. People assume my nationality is my mother's country where I lived several years as an adult. But I wasn't raised there. I had a whole other identity constructed by the time I became acquainted with that country. Does it hurt to be misnationalized? Yes. Is it like a knife in the heart? Actually, yes. Do I go about telling that to people? Absolutely not. Other people's voluntary misperception of my identity is not for me to make a whole drama about.

[@drearydancer]

I live in Texas and I have dark hair and olive skin so every single person I meet, assumes I am Hispanic. Strangers will start talking to me in Spanish. I remember dumb coworkers thinking I spoke Spanish despite never hearing me speak Spanish or me telling them my heritage. I remember this one moron I went on a date with telling me he still thought I was Mexican after I shared with him my ethnic background, because he asked. LOL It's okay to think I look like something else, but if I'm telling you what I am, I am not lying. I have all kinds of stories. People look at me with three heads when I tell them what I am because they ask me. LOL You can say it isn't a big deal most of the time but sometimes I just feel people are trying to outright tell me what language I'm supposed to speak and what my ethnicity is. I think this is extremely rude, close minded, and racist. If I'm honest, this is how I really feel but I cannot waste my life on this.

[@dammar117]

@@drearydancer THIS! I once had someone tell me I had an "accent" in my mother tongue all because my name was from a different origin.

[@Vi420TTV]

yep, someone called me a creep because I detransitioned from mtf t f back to female. i was on t for only a month now people call me a creep online. i just wanted to be bisexual and homophobia within the community took over

[@catgirl6803]

She's attention seeking and a bully and trying to get restaurants canceled or people fired. Also looks like she's trying to get a free meal out of it considering the expensive food she's ordering. The one that annoys me the most is the last one because it seems like the man doesn't speak English as his first language and may not be understanding her when she says "not sir". Like when she tattle tales on the manager, what is she really expecting?

[@paoloponessa]

I love your videos, Alexis. You are a breath of fresh air and pure positivity in this world. Setting people up to film them and tell their bosses is cowardly and disgusting. Not to mention that this person looks like a man. I’d also like to say I, like many young man, was regularly misgendered on the phone, from the age of 12 to 14. I was often taken for my mother. 😊😂I just laughed it off. Saying it’s a knife in the heart is pure histrionics. And the whole set up is low.

[@paulcampbell6316]

I'd ban him from eating at my restaurant for upsetting my staff!

[@k10621]

I just want to say this is why I love you! I couldn't agree more with everything you said. Alexis, you have such a way with getting your thoughts and opinions out there in a compassionate and respectful way! You look beautiful as always btw!❤

[@WhatsNextwithNora]

It's interesting to me because I often wonder if transgender folks are aware that cis-gendered folks also are mis-gendered. I couldn't even count how many times I've been called "sir" in my life. I'm a bio female with ... Shall we say an ample bosom 😉 and generally feminine features. But I'm also on the tall side for a woman and can't be bothered with makeup or fancy hair at this stage of life. I get that it's different bc cis-folk have the privilege of not thinking about our gender much so it's not hurtful, but it certainly happens - a lot.

[@david_zau]

if u get THAT offended over getting misgendered , that means u HAVE no confidence in ur journey as a trans woman. why would you care if someone calls u a sir ? isnt that transition for you? why do you FORCE people for validation my god. as a trans woman i didnt transition for other people , i transitioned FOR MYSELF SO I CAN BE MORE COMFORTABLE. like i give a fuck if someone calls me a sir , my god! but regardless , you look gorgeous Alexis!

[@GemmaJadeYT]

Alexis I see you and think ma'am. I would see that person and think man wearing makeup. I wouldn't purposely misgender but seriously.. "she" isn't even trying to pass. Lift your voice, so something to let people know you aren't just playing dress up to try and get people to say the wrong thing. However I'm a conservative and you and Blair are about it for me. Because you see both sides. Love you

[@emobeaglesroo165]

I just want to say you are such a lovely person- you radiate positive sunshine energy

[@TarynRMartin]

Alexis is so lovely and undoubtedly passes, in addition to being well spoken and level-headed regarding societal and biological truths. An absolute breath of fresh air in this clown world. The person in the original video clearly knows they don’t pass (assuming they are, in fact, an actual trans woman who’s actually trying) and is setting up to record interactions with these *hateful, harmful* bigots who are actually just trying to get through their minimum wage job shifts. The word entrapment comes to mind.

[@kerry-annemaymartin3763]

Hadn't seen you for a bit, was worried about you. So glad your still sharing with us THANKYOU

[@LuckySpinster.]

Your hair looks good! Have you been outside lately and looked around?😆😆 I'm 47 and I've never learnt. .. Looks like you have "glassy" hair ( something a hairdresser once called my hair🤷‍♀) pre chemo (its now curly) I could do very little with . So I feel you