She Refuses to get a Job

[@tamikalove2658]

Great advice Glenn …he has a non problem🤷🏾‍♀️ besides thinking the grass is greener instead of tending to his own lawn.

[@user-wo5qj5ec8z]

I don’t like saying that women trapped men, bc it takes the responsibility away from men. We’re adults & know how s*x works, he could’ve put a condom on. BUT she’s definitely taking advantage of her situation. She got herself a meal ticket! Maybe her job was stressful & needed to quit for her health. But I wonder if it was discussed beforehand, or if she just quit. Her suggesting they put vacations on the credit card when she doesn’t have a job to pay the card off 😂, very bold. Wild! But it sounds like he was just sleeping around, got someone knocked up & is trying to do the right thing, but doesn’t actually like her or love her. So forcing conversations & book clubs isn’t going to turn this into a successful marriage. He needs to take responsibility for the situation he created, but needs boundaries. If you want her to work after the baby is born, start that convo now. If you don’t want to marry her, start the convo on how to co-parent from separate households.

[@chandabwsandidge0430]

21:09 The unfortunate red flag for me was when she quit her job after moving in with their kid because she perceived that he could take care of them. Thankfully, he can, but that would be a hard conversation.

[@lisatui4353]

I’m only at 18:34 of the video. As a Christian, I’ve backsliden a few times for lengthy periods of time, so the following comment is not to judge “James”. To me, I think the answer to his letter is quite simple, stop sinning. I don’t know if he identifies as Christian, but let’s just say he is. I think he had a lot of negative opinions about the mother of his child, but failed to acknowledge his faults. He seems to lack accountability. Ok, “Mia” is unambitious, lacks direction and mismanages money. But one could say “James” lacks self-control (promiscuous/fornication), has commitment issues (doesn’t want marriage) and doesn’t think logically (moved in with “Mia”). Both perspectives need to be looked at. He was dating multiple women, got one pregnant (probably not even practicing “safe” sex), continued to date while she was pregnant, doesn’t want to marry her but then moves in with her. Now he has some complaints? He can support their child without playing house. Sure this couple prays, but John 9:31 says God doesn’t hear the prayers of sinners. Other good scriptures to reference are (Psalm 66:18, Isaiah 1:15, Proverbs 28:9). Many times we seek advice from others when all God is saying to us is stop sinning and some of our problems will be solved. Hopefully, both James and Mia can make a healthy “Christ-based” (if applicable) decision.

[@116stuart]

You literally just wrote what was in my mind. I wonder why that wasn't the first thing to be addressed right out of the gate, the implication of being Christians but living a life completely devoid of Christian values. I will go out on a limb and say the guy still has a few women he's keeping tabs on & is now trying to find a good enough reason and opportunity to leave his current girlfriend and go to the more ambitious women he desires. We can't be talking about them building a financial future together without addressing that they are not married, what future is there to even talk about? In an effort to sympathize with folks we end up missing the mark altogether of what is marriage firstly, what's the role of husband & wife (these 2 clearly aren't), how does the bible govern your life if you claim to be Christian. If they aren't Christians, forget about all we said & they can continue down the road of sin

[@lisatui4353]

@@116stuart ​​⁠ ​​Amen! Unfortunately, we can’t tell people how to run their podcasts because I would’ve also addressed this letter completely differently. Glen lightly touched on it, but not deep enough. We have an obligation as believers to rebuke from a place of love (only if we’re not being hypocrites). I wouldn’t be surprised either if he is still entertaining other women. If he feels all this negativity towards the mother of his child and doesn’t want to get married, why not leave? Maybe he’s just using her for a place to stay while using his son as an excuse to be there. If that’s the case then he should’ve gone to a homeless shelter instead of writing a letter to a well-known podcast expressing how much he despises his child’s mother. He is definitely being audacious. Like you said, there was really no conversation to have if he isn’t courting her with no intent to. I agree that we do miss the mark when we don’t call out sin, especially when we have platforms/ministries. Maybe you and I should have our own podcast lol - just kidding! But yes, if they aren’t Christians then let them do as they please and prayerfully they find their way to Christ.

[@Chloeeezyyy]

It’s this simple.

[@jun35077]

The whole nurse comment is wild to me. It was such a cheap shot at nurses and truly shows how underappreciated nurses are. Reguardless, I love the show.

[@id_rather_NOT89]

I’d say this guy just didn’t ask enough questions, didn’t feel out this woman he was actively or unintentionally pursuing to the best ability. Finding out your potential spouse’s core values is the main thing that matters when it comes to dating. So he should find things they share to bridge the gap like Yvette said or quits🤷🏽‍♂️

[@maishaaddai1052]

He doesn’t want to grind and be even more ambitious than he is already. He wants a partner so that he can have it easier, which is not a bad thing , but his point

[@Christian80806]

Agreed. Lazy is worse than unambituous

[@aaronrobert7785]

I don’t think it’s fair to tell someone they have a non problem, when they’re clearly telling you what the problem is. Man says I need a financial partner to feel safe..we say naw you’re good she handles the house. Previous women say my husband doesn’t help around the house..and the response is he’s a villain and needs to step up. There’s a clear difference in the way men and women’s roles are interpreted and how their needs for safety are interpreted.smh

[@naturalvybz2232]

I was thinking the same thing she should definitely be trying to figure out how to help financially support the house hold we hear this come from women's perspective all the time and the response is so different she needs to be held accountable its just as much her responsibility to support him as it is his to support her I didn't agree with their view on this it just didn't seem fair to me I feel like him saying its a blessing was very dismissive

[@emymungwana]

I totally agree.. I was surprised that an ambitionless woman is considered a blessing 😳 The response would have been so different if it were a man who quit his job and wants to go on vacation on credit.

[@shaymayhello]

My husband and I watched ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith’ the 1st week it came out. WE BECAME OBSESSED. Still talking about the ending 👀👀👀

[@PatronDove]

I think she does have vision. It’s just not to contribute to the family income. Ask her what her ideal situation is… I think he needs to ask more open ended questions… Seems like she has what she wants.

[@chandabwsandidge0430]

42:42 And for some, if you’re the playmaker, you have to identify the roles of the people on your team, let them know, and then they can take responsibility there and run! When they know they’re valued and see the big picture, then we pray initiative kicks in to notice the gaps. I don’t remember the time length/duration of relationship but it takes time. Having a vision for family and life, communicating and promoting it effectively is your responsibility, in this case.

[@OSeeingUOut]

I think the genuine shock from the wife is because so many men ask for that type of woman, that it's surprising to hear a man say he doesn’t want that. It goes to show tho, someone will love you the way you are, not the way you're l trying to force yourself to be.

[@sophiasmith5373]

wait what did we hear the same email? -definitely repect this man, he's taking responsibility and doing right by his family as he should but i can hear that he feels trapped and this is not a non issue... -Men need to be heard too. saying he has non-problem is dissmisive - I wonder if they would still be dating if they didn't have an unplanned pregnancy -He said she presented that she had it together/hard worker and then we she got pregnant quits her job then he finds out that she has alot of debt and ejoys planning vacations and expects him to put it on credit cards (that he'll have to pay for...) switch up seems kind of convenient. -Why is it his responsibility to try and change her. Maybe she doesn't want to change. Not fair to either of them. And trying to change someone just leads to more frustration. - It sounds like she's just not what he's looking for and thats okay move on. They aren't, they can co-parent -if he's choosing to stay relationship counseling maybe a good idea, seems like he's struggling to open up and be honest about his issues with her and she also conveniently left out somethings like her desire to be a traditional sahm and her debt/spending habits. Sounds like they actually have alot to talk about

[@tanyciagrace9556]

She said “you know what I’m saying”. He goes”🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔mmm mmm” as in, no girl 😂

[@thebossdawghomie]

This is one of their best responses to a listener. I was really frustrated hearing his discontent with his self inflicted wounds. Instead of piling on, they tried to give him a new perspective, and then have ways to approach the situation to try to get the best outcome for all parties involved. Good job guys.

[@CeeWorld69]

Naw, he doesn’t want to be in that relationship, because she’s forcing him to make her a housewife, but they’re trying to get him to stay in a relationship he doesn’t want to be in, those NEVER end well….

[@thebossdawghomie]

@@CeeWorld69 he is a grown man. Nobody forced him to do anything. When you say someone FORCED you to do something, you head down a path where it may be implied that you would be justified in taking some forms of extreme action to protect yourself, which includes stepping outside of normal rules and morals to some degree. And by that I mean, what I have seen firsthand from some men and women: abandoning your children, taking them from a capable parent until they do what you say, physical abuse, and a wide spectrum of things in-between. The moment you consent to sex with someone, you are committing to be a parent to the child you may conceive together. In life, you will be pressured by family, friends, and strangers, all to different degrees at different times. You ALWAYS have a choice, if you forget that, it's on you.

[@CeeWorld69]

@@thebossdawghomie you don’t know how manipulative women are but ok 😂🤣😆

[@jenavictor4723]

22:26 I need an “all the things hat and hoody!” 😂 I love it 🤗 ok back to listening 🤣

[@stephaniejones7015]

I think the lady set him up & she needs to go to work. That was some manipulation on her part. She needs to get out of debt & be a responsible adult. He definitely needs to set a boundary & expectation. She is a kind shady person.

[@CeeWorld69]

You guys aren’t focusing on what he wrote and what he’s LITERALLY telling you he’s going through and doesn’t want….he doesn’t want to be in that relationship, because she’s forcing him to make her a housewife, but you guys are trying to get him to stay in a relationship he doesn’t want to be in just because YOU want him to be in it 😂🤣😆, those NEVER end well….

[@maishaaddai1052]

Good point Yvette or the follow up question. There’s a reason he said it and I’d like to know what that looks like for him … about her getting the Comfort, safety, and securit…”

[@yavi783]

This couple clearly haven’t learned enough about each other (or perhaps themselves) before getting in at the deep end. The fact she let him pay her well overdue taxes without batting an eye lid, highlights the problem. It’s possible he’s just not that into what she has to offer (outside of being a great mother) which surely is okay to admit. Yes, he could communicate his needs, lead and support where she lacks a personal direction. As you both suggested, they could create space for the development and direction of the family. If that’s not possible, based on what they both bring to the table, then maybe they dont fit. Essentially, Jame’s feelings are valid… he shouldn’t just ‘look on the bright side’. This is surely kicking the can down the road. I do agree, he can consider how to improve communication and they can both work on the vision for the family, perhaps starting with short term needs.

[@Trisha81]

Yeah having a college degree definitely doesn't automatically mean the person is smart lol. Sounds like her desire is to simply be a housewife. Being a homemaker is realistically a job also. On the flip side of that she should at minimum have a hobby or some other kind of other focus in life. Like perhaps do some volunteer work. He said she's good at keeping up the house and their life is peaceful so I think he would respect her more if she show some other passion in life. But also, he is thinking financially it would be beneficial if she worked also and logically yeah if she works that's another income but I wonder if he's considering childcare expenses because technically she's helping in that sense because her being home does eliminate that expense.

[@wonderbutterfly3]

Thoughts: 1) not all pregnancies are the same so it’s not odd that a woman quits a job early due to stress. 2) Dudes without drive and ambition aren’t attractive to me, so I understand what James is saying. 3) James shouldn’t marry Mia. You don’t have to marry her to raise a child with her. If Mia can’t financially care for the child, when the child is born, he can seek to become the primary parent and take care of his child. Mia can figure out her situation and still parent alongside him as the mother, not the wife.

[@Asiyahberiyah]

Glenn and Yvette? I appreciate that you do not subscribe to the gender wars that is taking place in this age. When relationship gets hard, I still would never want to treat my significant other as if they are my enemy and that is in all relationships. I hate seeing it on my feed, so thank you.

[@PGproud03]

I liked that they made this point too!

[@Richard-Reloaded]

G Money Bags 💰 & Yvettie Corvettie 🏎️

[@Gwaycee]

The big problem here is that they are not married, so there is no foundation to build their legacy on. They are just playing house. At the back of her mind, she knows the relationship might end at any time because he doesn't want to marry her.

[@CeeWorld69]

If she’s the way he SAYS she is in the email, then he doesn’t need to marry her at ALL! Lol

[@stephaniejones7015]

This is the first time I have so adamantly disagreed with them. If this man stays with this woman he too will be in debt. Remember they aren’t married, so she needs to take care of herself.

[@wonderbutterfly3]

James doesn’t seem to want a maid or nanny as his wife. He seems to want a working partner that can financially contribute and also has ambition. And maybe also has a more-rounded character and life experience/world view that makes for decent conversation.

[@maishaaddai1052]

So a mother is now a nanny and being a full Time mother is not something she should do, but the nanny should? I’m trying to understand. And keeping your home makes you a maid? I think he wants a partner who also works. But if he is looking at those things(maid,nanny) n this context, then their values are off.

[@Christian80806]

Facts aimless women are often attracted to nursing too sometimes. That CNA career path

[@marketiadavis9040]

Sometimes it feels like Glenn disagrees for the sake of disagreeing. Yvette almost repeated the same thing he said was the reason the person who wrote in doesn't have a problem but when she says it all of a sudden he doesn't agree. Maybe I'm tripping idk

[@b.phenomenal]

Yes I noticed that too

[@Brandalyn2010]

Agreed. He often goes out of his way to be contrary.

[@PurposedPath]

Yea, Evette says it in woman Glenn disagrees just to say it again in man 😂

[@jarod133]

@@PurposedPath😂😂… Well said, It’s a man thing lol

[@CeeWorld69]

She’s married you guys, something you all will never understand 😂

[@Chloeeezyyy]

Marry before you carry.

[@webarmceachnie3382]

Didn't he say that he could pay someone to clean the house and etc he didn't marry a maid...he doesn't need financial assistance and she's not lazy because she does a great job at home and with their child and the family loves her he just needs to let go of the Idea of having a working power couple and give his wife the appreciation for the work that she does do in his life

[@PGproud03]

Agreed 👍🏾

[@sfozardmccall8]

It sounds like his partner doesn't stimulate his mind. And he is thinking of other relationships that he can get that mental stimulation, he definitely needs to communicate those thoughts before he mentally/physically cheats.

[@ebuddy2cute]

There could be a few things; the lady might have gotten comfortable and doesn’t see the need to try, or maybe she already knew from the jump that she wanted to be a stay at home wife/mom, or she could be in a place where she is mentally stuck and is trying to find her way but stuck and is having a hard time knowing what direction she wants to go in

[@candylove242002]

She definitely trapped him BUT he has the ability to mold her if she willing to keep him.

[@mutsacarole]

Thanks

[@U_neekliss]

There's a reason why a two-headed anything is a monster. He wants her to have some kind of vision in addition to the vision that he has for himself not realizing that there could be some confusion and division if that were the case.

[@anp0731]

Yes I loved the Amazon show, Mr and Mrs Smith!!! I was mad that Season 2 isn't already available. It is very good.

[@itsmekiaratee]

I’m a stay at home Mom which is completely against any ideas I had for myself before getting married. I’m adjusting but it has it certainly has its challenges. People who seem to want to be a SAHM aren’t and those of us that’s didn’t plan for it are SAHM. it’s interesting lol

[@wonderbutterfly3]

Glen is telling this this man to build-a-woman……….maybe he doesn’t want to grow an adult since he now has to help grow a child……

[@Fruit732]

My husband and I really enjoyed Mr. And Mrs. Smith as well.

[@lead8381]

Ngl, I ain't even watched the episode yet but this is me on my LAST episode of HMAY, until the next one is posted ofc lol I've never followed the weekly schedule bc I was watching from the first one until there were no more. The time has come and I've learned a lot. Thank y'all for your work. May God keep y'all for His glory🫶🏿

[@TheCinComedy]

Another great episode!!👏🏾👏🏾

[@autumnmckay9825]

I've been listening/catching up on Spotify lately. Here to give the YT channel some love 🎉

[@TheShadiP]

Yep "Ring Before Spring" that would've been me if I went to my parents Alma mater!

[@SLG195]

As long as she has the attitude she has, this relationship will not survive. This could have been avoided if he had taken responsibility for using protection also. It takes two.

[@Mark-ye9pi]

A woman can provide safety and security for a man by 1. Bringing in consistent income toward the house so that if the income i bring in is affected we can still stay afloat without using our savings to cover the lost income. There is no dollar amount for this and she can be a stay at home mom and generate income. 2. She would be sensitive to our financial goals at all times. A frugal woman who knows how to budget and utilize different investment tools. **In all of this I’m still providing either way but helpmeets in todays society is about 2 Income households with financial literacy. Cooking and Cleaning is only helpful to a man who is already wealthy, not one who is trying to build wealth.

[@whenyouwishuponastar6643]

I would also like to know how do you know you want to be a stay at home mom. I am married, no children yet, and I work in a career I spent a lot of time and education to get into and I enjoy it but I don’t feel like it doesn’t give me the purpose I think raising a family would.

[@ItsPersonalwithAshleyElle]

Lol I thoroughly enjoy viewing the dynamics between a Gemini and a Taurus. Mutable and fixed sign, so interesting

[@ItsPersonalwithAshleyElle]

What happened to the outro song? Loved it!

[@FolashadeSholola]

Preach let the men build the wealth

[@timk2447]

I think what the guy wants is some exhibition of competence , there is nothing as scary as being with someone who you cannot count on to do basic stuff. I think it’s okay for the guy to want more, but he is in this situation. That feeling will not go away so he has to discuss it some time.

[@lashawn369]

Checking in from the DMV.

[@rosie9974]

Love your content! You guys are the best❤ K. Ford

[@Tsunamilott]

Yall get me through the week fr ❤

[@lynntw743]

Love that Glenn! Great point 39:05

[@burnettaallen2492]

I think that they missed the real dilemma. The real issue is that he didn't choose that woman. He was still dating multiple women and potentially having sex with multiple women at the time she became pregnant. He only moved in to prevent her homelessness during pregnancy. He is stillcomparing her to other women and trying to decide whether she is the one for him. If he expressed this to her, she may have chosen to remain unemployed in order to keep him. Or perhaps she always planned to be a stay at home wife and mother. She probably believes they have a love story and he feels like he was trapped.

[@echoofvladpod]

NOPE Glen you can't watch it again. The ending of Mr. & Mrs. Smith is THAT good!!

[@Sjxoxo817]

Mr and Mrs Smith is good!

[@BigGeoff55]

Let me say this. This man says when he met this woman she showed him that she was a working woman that was about her business. As soon as she got pregnant ( GOT EM ) she just had to quit her job, she stopped paying rent and had to move in with him. He was trapped by this woman. He needs to make it real uncomfortable for her if she doesn’t want to get a job. She clearly isn’t responsible with finances. Like he said he can afford to hire a maid, he needs he to get off her butt get a job to help financially. If she doesn’t want to do that then she shouldn’t have access to anything but the necessities in life. Now if she presented herself to be a housewife from the start, then the young man has to be quiet and continue to be a soul provider.

[@Christian80806]

Agree Glenn 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@tierramonique]

Love you guys and the podcast

[@dillonhall3344]

Yvette do a dishwasher review

[@joyprice209]

He has a problem. He wants a working wife who is responsible with money

[@orie691]

Where’s Glenn’s ring?

[@portiawebb533]

✨🙌🏽☀️🌞☀️🌞

[@annak706]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@msakira73]

❤

[@Wintersno]

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[@sashalawrence4786]

Maybe shes not a career woman simple. He shouldn’t have got her pregnant.

[@naturalbrunette07]

Where are the biblical values in the advice yall vomit out. How about at the end making sure people are right with the One who saved them?! How about a sort of "alter call" because the only One that can help in our lives is Jesus. I'm out.