She Won't Allow Plus Ones At Her Wedding

[@tarasalad]

Personally being an introvert and having gone to weddings where I knew noone but the bride and groom, the plus one at least ensures there's one other person you can enjoy the night with. I would decline this invitation as well.

[@biteofdog]

I ended up in that situation and I was put at the married couples table and they were all miserable cold people. I was so lonely at the (huge) wedding and wished that I had declined, but I felt guilted into going.

[@basementdwellercosplay]

The fact they said "they can't leave their partner to honor me" is so vain and ignorant to other people's feelings

[@Aiodiam]

We had a very small wedding, just close parents, grandparents, and siblings. A total of 7 other people. It kept it very in my comfort zone and it meant we could do more together as a small group. We had said no to a very recent girlfriend of a guest at the time, but when keeping it so small and close-knit it didn't make sense to have someone like that there.

[@madyalvarez428]

I would agree if the issue was just a matter of not bringing plus ones who you’re just dating if we haven’t met, but I don’t feel that engaged couples or married couples should be part of this rule. It’s literally a wedding. Like it’s a testament to marriage, which binds two people as one. So to invite one half of a married couple but not the other to your wedding seems like an affront to marriage, and bad luck imo. Also, if you invited me but not my husband to your wedding, I would assume instantly that means that you don’t respect my marriage, or you don’t like my husband. I wouldn’t go either.

[@lestranged]

I agree. splitting up married couples to celebrate marriage? like whaaaat?

[@jilliangeisel2585]

One of the worst parts is how the lady reacts - you should respect your cousin's choice not to attend?! It sounded like she was surprised/ greatly offended by this but it seems reasonable for the cousin to nope out lol

[@melissayoutube]

Had a wedding a couple months ago. All our family and close friends had plus ones because of course we knew them and were related etc. However! For work colleagues I didn’t include plus ones. That was because I’d never met their partners and there was only 5-6 of them, and they happened to be all females. They all knew each other and were all seated with each other. They treated it like a girls day/night out and I didn’t get any complaints. However if it was someone who didn’t know any other guests I would have of course extended the invite to include a plus one.

[@ImmortalBroken]

You're not an a-hole for making a "no plus ones" rule for your wedding, but you are an a-hole for calling other people a-holes for not wanting to come to your wedding without their partners. It's your right to invite only who you want, but you need to recognize that it's a weird rule and accept that it's going to put some invitees off.

[@Chelseabee55]

My fiancé and I aren’t doing plus ones for everyone. Rules are simple: If it’s a long term partnership, then they are invited. Or if our invited friend will be alone otherwise, they get a plus one even if they’re not in a relationship, to ensure they feel comfortable. We want people to be happy while maintaining our budget.

[@emacd520]

How did you word this on the invitation, out of curiosity?

[@Chelseabee55]

@@emacd520 we invited the people who were invited. For example, Tom and Sally Smith (two people). Or ‘the Smith family’ (includes kids). Or just ‘Sally’. Generally for the people without a plus one, they were told in a group chat that everyone in the chat was invited. This is the case with my university friends. Only one of them has a long term relationship but they will all be seated together so I don’t feel the need to give out 6 plus ones. I’ll also be honest with people. So like if that uni friend in a relationship wants to bring her fiancé I’ll tell her - we have a really small guest list, but if anyone drops out he is welcome to come. I’ll let you know.

[@TennisBarbie119]

What about the wedding party?

[@Chelseabee55]

@@TennisBarbie119 we aren’t really having one. Standing with me I have my brother and niece. With him he has his step dad and sister

[@lilymcdougall]

I couldn't imagine having this sort of mindset - yes, people are there to celebrate you and your love but surely you want them to be having a great time while they do? When I got married EVERYONE got a +1 to make sure that they had at least one person they would feel comfortable with, to be able to have fun with.

[@JonahTheWeeb]

Like I get the first part, BUT long term relationships, engaged and married couples?! Like what, I think this is beyond unreasonable..

[@Junitunes]

Unreasonable?

[@anassorbestiak]

A wedding can be an occasion to meet the partner of somebody you are close to but never got the chance to meet. What if I am a cousin who lives in another country, I got married, and I finally find the occasion to come back and introduce my husband to my family and you!

[@heliosfromacrossastar878]

I literally met a spouse of my partners friend for the first time at my wedding. We had a small wedding with max. 25 guests and still managed to include spouses. This person sounds extremely egocentric and demanding.

[@nickitori]

She wants people to honor their love by attending but also disrespects the loves of her guests by specifically excluding their partners. If you're gonna be uncompromising, expect people to opt out. 🤷‍♀️

[@NellLiuNini]

I think the couple getting married can decided who they to invite or not so I understand their decision of not allowing +1s.

[@HiImJellyBean]

I have really bad social anxiety and can hardly be in groups of people I do know. I’d absolutely do the no plus one rule but I wouldn’t list the criteria for it and be rude to people who didn’t want to go. Not feeling comfortable with strangers on your wedding day is valid and not feeling comfortable without bringing a plus one is also valid.

[@SAmaryllis]

I actually don't feel like this is a wild request lol - weddings do cost a lot of money, and why wouldn't you want a party just with people you care about? But the way the person went about it was so unnecessary, I laugh especially at the cousin interaction where they said "take it or leave it", the cousin picked "leave it", and then they got upset the cousin chose that 😂

[@keerasouliotis2403]

But they said money wasn’t a problem

[@manhvu4988]

literally said money and venue wasn't a problem it's a personal preference they set up for everyone

[@lestranged]

people setting ultimatums like 'take it or leave it" need to be prepared for people choosing either option. Ultimatums in general do not always go the way the controlling person wishes...

[@iseetheWAYVision]

@@lestranged fr

[@SAmaryllis]

Yeah, but just because you can pay for something, doesn't mean you should have to. I guess I should've left the money part out of my comment - that's my personal bias - but I still feel the same about "it's your wedding, invite & celebrate with who you want" lol. I think there was a similar AITA video about someone who didn't want kids at their wedding, which I also thought was reasonable. That said, they should be prepared for people to not want to come without a +1 and shouldn't feel hurt over it

[@cassandrella1190]

Regardless if they met the +1 or not excluding someone’s partner at any stage of the relationship is weird. Your wedding is a celebration of love and you are inviting your close family and friends and you’re disrespecting their relationships while simultaneously demanding they respect yours. Everyone should have the wedding of their dreams so at the end of the day it’s a toss up. These wedding demands are getting weirder and weirder. Like someone else said the only real “demand” I agree with is no kids at the reception. Off subject but have a cut off time for the kids to be there. Idk that’s in an ideal world though. Anyway, this chick sounds like an over worked, over planned, and unhinged bridezilla.

[@stroxer]

This is one of the times when I go “Yes, yes you are the ahole” right away lmao

[@Theatress09]

I understand having caution with unknown plus ones. I would understand if their concern is they don’t want their wedding ruined by the belligerent actions of a plus one who they didn’t know. Maybe they could have just asked invitees to please introduce the “unmet” S.O. to the bride and groom before the wedding to get a “pulse check” on the S.O. And then make a individual decision then. But to completely set and strict “if we haven’t met them, they can’t come” rule to friends and family’s S.O’s, is a bit “Ass Hole-ish.” What if they had a cousin who was married to someone they haven’t met? Are they going to apply the same rule or not? Either way it would be disrespectful to everyone else.

[@ladybuggamer4479]

This seems so insane to me. I think plus ones are great! Plus it’s a chance to meet people you never knew your friends or family know.

[@debadritagupta6364]

All the aita for weddings you guys do on this channel just shows me how different cultures and weddings are across the planet and how almost all of these wouldn't ever be possible in India :p

[@iseetheWAYVision]

The wristbands 😂💀

[@ImaginaryMdA]

I mean, if you don't want to have people at your wedding you don't know, just openly state your intention of a "close circle wedding". People will decide for themselves if their +1 fits that goal.

[@bekah4137]

Sometimes you meet and make new friends/relationships in events like these

[@m_here1]

I agree to the no plus ones when it’s not a long-term/engaged/married couple. Plus ones are expensive and it’s an extra cost, which is especially annoying when it’s someone the bride and groom don’t know because it’s a new relationship. But it makes no sense to exclude the people in longer-term relationships. Like those people are package deals typically.

[@Junitunes]

The best way to do this would be no plus ones and just invite who you’d invite. You don’t have to tell people how awful you are

[@iseetheWAYVision]

If I get married my family will be mad mad lmao but I want a small intimate wedding

[@shayhamilton4086]

Who would go ?

[@beccablueeyes99]

If I have to pay $100-300 per person for food and drink, I would only want people I know to come to my wedding. Also, if you are family or friends with someone for years, wouldn't you know their partner? Couples aren't always together though. If you go out to dinner with your friends or have a weekend away without your partner, why is going to a wedding different? It's just you doing something without them. Why is it that it being a wedding means it's a big deal when you have probably been to their birthday or had dinner without your spouse And not given that a second thought?

[@WittyPractitioner]

They said money isn't an issue though, they just don't want people coming that they're unfamiliar with. When it's put that way it sounds reasonable, but if you think about it from the guests perspective it really isn't fair at all and is actually quite inconsiderate. They have a full venue of guests they know and need to divide their time between, and can't spend time with just one person the whole while. So I'd be left either by myself or trying to make conversation with people I don't know for several hours if I have no one other then the bride and groom there that I know. If I'm very unlucky with who chooses to show up or not with this rule in effect then it could easily happen, I'm not mutual friends with everyone my friends are close to and I'd think most people aren't. The bride and groom don't have to talk to your plus one past them being congratulated, so it's not like they'd be forced to interact if they don't want to, meanwhile the other way around leaves me forced to be by myself for 90% of the wedding, when it's supposed to be a fun celebration why would I come when that doesn't sound at all like a good time? Even if every single one of those guests bring a plus one the newlyweds will still know at least half of the guests personally (and not everyone does so that's being generous) so I really don't get what their problem is here. Of course they have the choice to go through with that rule if they really want to, but I have the choice to not come spend hours by myself at a wedding where everyone is supposed to be having fun and I'd be feeling awkward and uncomfortable instead

[@celloafterdark4173]

I love this one- so wild

[@NancyRoleReversal]

I think she sounds like a crazy person 😂. I would never make a huge wedding but if my 5 guests want to bring their partners or whatever why not? Why should they sit alone all night just because I'm a psycho who wants a crazy all about me wedding?

[@wavejackson1112]

The arrogance of this bride (toward her own cousin) is disgusting.

[@emilyb3875]

I feel bad for the cousin’s fiancé. Like that’s a really harsh way to find out your future cousin-in-law doesn’t like you very much for seemingly no reason

[@Octobris]

Would go only for free food. Plain and simple.

[@1stepofe-noise311]

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