Shit Bartenders Say

[@jojomclaren9762]

After all these years it's still so hysterical and yet soooo accurate!!! Well done!!!

[@Beaudunk]

"I brought my own ice :)" hahaha

[@Pooqua]

"Don't ever shake that drink. You'll kill it." I've said that many times.

[@JohnnyAtTheBroiler]

I am bartender in Sacramento and this describes about half of the bar staff in this city. Bravo!

[@Alexproudfoot]

This is my 8th watch of this!!! (I'm also a bartender and I know how to not take myself serious enough to laugh at this) this video is awesome! "I brought my own ice" I've actually seen this happen!

[@douglasdalay619]

LMAO @ the straining at :43. There was absolutely nothing to strain.

[@26095]

@gweilojohn He was old, I was young. The torch was passed, what can I say? He had already lived his life, and his days in NYC were long behind him. He was very clear about the difference between what was being made in the 60s and 70s and what he was familiar with. I just was lucky to be in the bar he chose to spend his last days in, and he liked me. The Martini that I make is his, not mine, and people from Beijing to Istanbul have said that it was the best Martini that they had ever had.

[@jonathanstout6618]

9 years later and I can still never see Aquavit on a menu, or even hear it mentioned, and not think “Aquavit BORES me”.

[@strictlydubwise]

"Herbal notes." Hahahahahahahaha!!!

[@wordofmouthrevisited]

i only use free range eel farts in my craft sake cocktails

[@gweilojohn]

@26095 "The Round Table?" Which one? If you're referring to the Algonquin Round Table of cocktail fame, that would have been a good deal more than 35 years ago, since that was around 1919. If there's another one, cool, but most Martinis 35 years ago would have been straight chilled vodka or gin. Decent drinks, sure, but not terribly impressive. That said, a good drink need not take 15 minutes, and "craft" has been taken too seriously by some people. But if you think you can shake, Rematch...

[@MrJoeGenius]

"Gee, this ice has too many bubbles in it and that will compromise the integrity of the Peychaux bitters..." Absolutely hysterical!

[@sammivd4763]

He's pretty much every bartender in Portland. Hahaha

[@abigailbarth2309]

Regardless of what you know about bitters or aquavit. I can't help but notice the Spotted Cow tapper. In the words of Lewis Black to a Madison audience "My hat is off to you; you, are not alcoholics....you are professionals".

[@masterhide]

Haha! I love the scenes of him "making" the drink. So gross & funny!!

[@andadj]

First we are bartenders and second we are baristas, sommeliers, mixologists, "historians", flair bartenders, brewers, etc. Anyone who has worked in a bar should not forget that! (sorry for my bad english)

[@sprengertrinker]

That is exactly what every person who watched this thought.

[@itsmayface]

Aaaaaahahahahaha! That's brilliant!! All my bartender pals talk just like that!! It's just passion...captured truly well! Bravo! "I bought my own Ice"...hahahahahaha!

[@rbillhar3]

"I'm really into Amaro right now"

[@dzindc]

This is hysterical and pretty accurate. Particularly the $18.50 at the end....

[@jordogrande]

Spot on... way to represent WI - I love seeing Furthermore in there..

[@tigahstyle]

I'm a fancy bartender, and this is so spot on it cracks me UP! roofles!

[@Angelmeier]

one of the best parts (my opinion) "Go at it , man" not sure who it is in the credits. ?

[@theskipper1969]

Great acting! Thankfully, I don't work with anyone like that, and I probably wouldn't stop laughing if I did.

[@Macksransom]

Ive been bartending for 13 years and have lived in all the above mentioned cities. While I am not a mixologist, I do enjoy the occasional craft cocktail, but also feel like it gets to a point when its ridiculous, as this video illustrates. That being said, it is by far the most accurate video of all the service industry ones Ive seen, not to mention fucking hilarious... Great job to the uploader...

[@Noximusek]

"I've got my own ice" - way too hardcore :D

[@JonasClark]

I sure did need a laugh about now. I dabble in tending and hang out at "craft cocktail" sorts of bars - should I be shocked that I neither hear nor say these?

[@etippler]

How did I only just now find this?!? "Go at it, man" is my new motto.

[@wendybian]

"Don't ever shake that drink or your kill it!" hahahahaha i've bartended at a lot of these kind of bars and this can not be more spot on i'm almost died!!

[@Spellcheekswammablamma]

Exactly! It’s a bar.

[@boneselie]

that shake!perfecto!brilliant :)

[@WarrenBobrow]

I love this work! Tongue in cheek of course!

[@Appee]

This is such a funny and on-point video! Every word is true and must agree that the makers have an in-depth view of the mixolgy-scene. Well done :)

[@ninariccinoel]

LOL this is on point w/Mixologists. This is for a specific kind of bartender, not all bartenders. Find the nearest craft cocktail bar, preferably one in a hip neighborhood near the city, and you'll find these.

[@dredheadV2]

"Are you going to Tales of the. Cocktail?" Gave me much lulz. Obviously this was an inside job :D. Spot on, too. Bitters, bitterness, and specialty ice.

[@gynocide]

LOL I've been a bartender for 5 years and I have not ever said any bullshit like this.

[@ILUVC3E]

Check out BeatKings song "Shot O' Clock" CRAZY!

[@RegJR1]

Add an Aussie accent and this is Melbourne. The waistcoat. The cap. The beard. The bulshit. The lot!! Work with these guys and love this video!!

[@EmilyMcIntyre]

This is brilliant. Spot on guys!

[@vicstarman]

Absolutely perfect in every way. Kudos! From PDX

[@lynaemarie88]

You guys straight nailed it! I hope your do some guest mixology at my chocolate lounge. Where are you from?

[@green917]

They're clearly from Wisconsin given the new Glarus tap handle in the background (they only distribute in Wisconsin). But he could be any douchey bougie "mixologist" from anywhere in the country. This is spot on in every way!

[@FocalGravy]

@ashcogan This has actually been tried, apparantly they lack the charisma of a bartender and don't have the ability to listen to a customer n make a drink by their specification....that and a band a DJ can be replaced by spotify much easier and cheaper....thanks for the comment tho =]

[@allancuevasmusic]

LOL can you guys do one on flair bartenders?

[@lupinesangre]

I love you, Madison.

[@originalufamizm]

This is spectacular! Very well done and obviously by someone with much insight in the craft bartending scene. I consider this the template for how not to be a pretentious craft bartender!

[@tencentchef]

"I brought my own ice!!" Love it.

[@mrbaz5150]

Baristas seem to have this personality.

[@joffeloff]

@lakoeb the whole point is that bartender is striked out and replaced with 'mixologist'. it's not shit bartenders say. it's shit 'mixologists' say.

[@Crazycro905]

What hipster bar does this guy work at? When I work I only have time to say what can I get you and the price.

[@funkyfleur]

whispers... "Go at it man..."

[@ashcogan]

@168LilBit Pretty sure I go to a bar to watch a DJ or band not bartenders. As a bartender you can be replaced with a self service drink dispenser.

[@Opretlis]

1:10 Reminds me Marian Beke :)

[@contrabandcornedbeef]

Dude this is so funny. I'm really into Amaro's right now HAHAHA. Use a julep strainer I BROUGHT MY OWN ICE. Well done sir. Well done.

[@26095]

I have found that the phrase, "We make our own bitters" is code for "We suck at bartending."

[@JosephEaorle]

Maybe it just applied to Madison bartenders. I mostly drink beer so i didn't think I'd get this, but knowing enough bartenders in this town makes this video pretty hilarious to me, even though the types of bars I go to aren't quite this type of place

[@ohpotatoesandmolasses]

I brought my own ice.

[@TheTravelingWop]

27 people consider themselves mixologists

[@squirlygirl27]

I spot a furthermore beer in there!

[@bedababe1]

yup worked for many mixologist they stroke their own ego. They take drinks serious!

[@WorldsBars]

Classic! Cheers to you!

[@sudafedup]

Don't forget the Lavender petals!

[@RupertLandry]

I would never go to whatever kind of bar has this sort of bartender

[@Maliceah]

Ah, trendy drinks! Give me a shot of Absolut any day! :)

[@muddlingmixologist]

hahaha "herbal notes"

[@notmyrealname1234567]

@aftrthejake I think he is supporting bartenders suggesting that they work harder/faster and provide more service to people, thus more money, not bashing them. Just how I interpret it.

[@jsteve7425]

It would be funnier if it weren't so true. I laughed at first, and then I cried because I hear this kind of bullsh#t all day. I love making a great cocktail, and I hate being called a mixologist. This video makes me happy. It's the best cocktail I've had in a while.

[@ingersollturok]

layers of flavor!

[@gabrielle0180]

Give me a layback of gin, because it isn't dead.

[@whosam1]

Thank you for that.

[@joffeloff]

the hard shake killed me.

[@Pooqua]

I use a julep strainer all the time.

[@DanMowry]

1:10 the shake is awesome. lol You have to spend thousands of dollars and move to Japan for a year to learn to do that. It gets the drink to maximum coldness. Batman learned this shake in the ice fjords.

[@Sponge10224]

Mixologists make drinks, Bartenders make money!

[@eagillum]

Is he doing something wrong with the muddling of the orange?

[@jdempsey1313]

Well, sake;s dead. hahahah

[@nicholasdillion6019]

...Herbal Notes.

[@Mahalo4dakine]

"aquavit BORES me..." HAHAHAHA

[@mattycapecod]

this guy would last about 30 seconds at any of my bars

[@VenicePsychic]

Lavender petals.

[@theresanovak4199]

Spot on!

[@ragemanchoo82]

This is Portland, isn't it.

[@kirbyj5704]

... "herbal notes"

[@carlobloks]

We all know at least one guy like this...

[@Bleazzy2425]

Bravo.

[@Alexproudfoot]

Best thing I've seen a AGES!!!

[@GlennPaulWills]

Make your own tonic water lolz

[@jrm59e]

Is there any group of people in the world that think as highly of themselves as bartenders do? People that SERVE other people alcohol... That's really something to strive for. Bartenders think they are so cool.

[@suzyqueify]

Mixologist... be buggered!

[@Zilitaz]

Yep.

[@noxin81]

@shelbydhall Then do your own video?

[@frankiedegoya]

I almost thought he worked at Rye or Hotel Delmano, but then I realized, he's actually nice, he's not a total effing snob, so he couldn't possibly work at those places. He must be in Portland, not Williamsburg. Or if not Portland, definitely a part of Brooklyn that the L Train doesn't stop in.

[@KateTaylorBattle]

They should have ended this video with the bartender in a bar saying, "Can I have another PBR?"

[@ISwamLikeLions]

Sounds like this guy would love Liber & Co.'s Spiced Tonic Syrup :-)

[@cbgearhart0]

It's Peychaud's. ... I AM into amaro right now. Damnit.

[@YadenSamsara]

Screw all that and just order the Spotted Cow on tap there...

[@26095]

@jkd5h2 Oh, we understand quite well. We also understand that it should not take 15 minutes to make one "craft cocktail." And before you get all sniffy and dismissive because you feel that you alone know what a "real bar is," let me say that I was taught by the guy who made Martinis for the Round Table, thirty five years ago. I have tended bar on four continents and I think I know what a real bar is, and these mustachioed impostors are nowhere near what would ever have been considered "real."

[@LadyLizard86]

You should do one with a female bartender. Just saying. It's totally different!

[@JimPlottier]

@benriddlebarger That's only if you're not a fellow hipster. If you are a hipster then he has to blah blah all this nonsense in your face so you think he's cool.

[@fatherof2daughters]

Really? Not even a "You don't have to go home but you can't stay here"?!?

[@chillycocktails]

Fuck yes. Being a bartender in SF for over 15 years we laugh at these clowns 4-5 nights a week. There's few true BARTENDERS left, the majority are hipster dofus'

[@drew5337]

See, I can pull that whole "I make the grenadine and bitters in house" thing off. Why? Because I don't look or act like a douchebag hipster. Also, I'm the barman. I'm not a mixologist. Again, the reason being that I'm not a douchebag hipster. The video did make me laugh at myself and a few of my cocktail nerd bartender friends though, good stuff :D