Should I Date a Non-Catholic? - Fr. Gregory Pine, O.P.

[@johndrayton8728]

My mother was Presbyterian, my father Catholic. My father rarely went to mass, my mother honoured HIS commitment to raise us as Catholics and took us every week.

[@carlalonchi]

Wow!

[@heidehho6191]

Very similar to me! My mom was Presbyterian dad was (cultural) Catholic. She insisted that all the kids be baptized as Catholic, sent us to Catholic school, etc. Both sets of grandparents had no issues with the other's denomination. The Presbyterian grandparents told us Jesus is Jesus and I heard stories of my Catholic grandparents would visit protestant churches because they loved the worship music. Was blessed to have them ❤ Glory be to God

[@oliviasmith716]

My husband was in RCIA when we reconnected and began dating in 2017 and converted later that year. I was raised Baptist and had no plans on ever converting, but agreed that if we got married I would help raise any children in the Faith. After falling in love with Catholicism through going to Mass with him, I started RCIA in 2019 and converted in 2020. I firmly believe that God brought my husband back into my life to guide me back to Him and the true Faith. We now have 2 beautiful little girls and our 3 year old loves Jesus and her Mama Mary

[@vinnyvincelive]

I have recently broken up with my non catholic girlfriend. It was truly painful because I loved her so much! But she wouldn’t be open to raising children as Catholics. We never came to a compromise! And she blames me for the relationship ending because she loves me but just doesn’t like the catholic way of worship. I still do miss her. I do feel we had to end things but it does suck alooooot!

[@kevinzki21]

Same... she's an evangelical or "non denominational" It was one of the reasons it didn't work out.

[@tonywallens217]

My fiancé is non-denominational and is very appreciative and open to much of Catholicism. Over the years I’ve seen her grow tired of the style of worship she experiences and the emotional emphasis it has. She is halfway through reading Rome sweet home and I’m very hopeful she will one day become catholic. Mary and saints and venerating images and confession to a priest are still stumbling blocks but I’m working with her patiently. She agrees to raising the kids Catholic and my spiritual headship as a man. We can even pray the divine office and divine mercy chaplet together. We go to mass together when we can. It is not the ideal way of situations but we both love the Lord and I hope that we can be fully United in faith one day. It can work! But it is not easy. I wouldn’t recommend it, but it can happen.

[@vinnyvincelive]

@@tonywallens217 oh Tony!!! I am so happy for you! Your fiance is so open! And that's a great thing and what I wish I had. I never pressured her to become catholic. We really struggled and I still sometimes blame myself , maybe I should have tried harder or prayed more for the relationship. With the kind of personality I have, I felt (or could perceive ) things weren't ever going to change. She read Scott Hahn's Rome Sweet Home and hated it. She thought Scott was so legalistic and thought so much about himself and not about Kimberly.

[@tonywallens217]

@@vinnyvincelive ahhhh. That’s an agonizing feeling I’d imagine. There were many times I wondered if it was better to cut it off. But God worked in us both. It sounds like it was better for the both of you that you ended it though.

[@tonywallens217]

@@vinnyvincelive there are sooooo many misconceptions Protestants have to work through when it comes to Catholicism. I sympathize with your difficulty. Thanks for your support btw!

[@tonywallens217]

My fiancé is non-denominational and is very appreciative and open to much of Catholicism. Over the years I’ve seen her grow tired of the style of worship she experiences and the emotional emphasis it has. She is halfway through reading time sweet home and I’m very hopeful she will one day become catholic. Mary and saints and venerating images and confession to a priest are still stumbling blocks but I’m working with her patiently. She agrees to raising the kids Catholic and my spiritual headship as a man. We can even pray the divine office and divine mercy chaplet together. We go to mass together when we can. It is not the ideal way of situations but we both love the Lord and I hope that we can be fully United in faith one day. Pray for us.

[@BrambleHead]

My fiancé is also non denom, except she hates Catholicism :(

[@tonywallens217]

@@BrambleHead can I ask why? It took a long time for my fiancé to open up, and for her it is beauty and reverence that we’re the trick. My logical reasoning has very little impact on her.

[@Davidjune1970]

Non-denominational … dogma all over the place See if they will listen to Catechism in a year with father Mike

[@tonywallens217]

@@Davidjune1970 she likes Fr Mike but for the moment she has too much on her plate. But mass as much as possible and lots of prayer. She made a lot of progress with Rome Sweet Home so I’m hoping she’ll finish it soon.

[@tonywallens217]

@@theknight8524 she isn’t interested much in apologetics one way or the other lol. More likes things that cut to the heart and touch on more spiritual matters. Dr. Ortlund is certainly a strong force for Protestantism though.

[@herbhawkins8066]

5 years dating both Catholics and non-Catholics. Boy I have made some bad decisions. I'm a slow learner apparently. Finally getting the courage to ask the hard questions up front without worrying about the outcome.

[@aholybalance]

Father Gregory, you are such an incredible gift. I am so grateful for you and will definitely include you in my prayers. You are so good, Father.

[@jflores85]

37, my closest relationships were with non catholic Christian, the recent also had traditional values but non religious and bashed the Bible and the church. At least accepting my faith and not attacking it was not a deal breaker, it hurt so much letting them go but I want to raise .y children in the church and have them grow with Christ in their lives earlier and stronger than I did. I'm lonely sometimes but its worth waiting but 40 will be here soon

[@marysanchez6382]

My husband and I were lukewarm Catholics when we married. But we’ve grown in our faith together.

[@claytonhall989]

My wife is Methodist (we just got married about 5 months ago) and she regularly attends mass with me and really has done so since we started dating about 3 years ago. She’s currently discerning about becoming catholic and finding an RCIA class that works with her work schedule. She additionally agreed to raise our future kids catholic. What changed in my dating life was two things: 1) Being okay if I was single the rest of my life because God’s plan is better than mine and 2) No longer settling in my dating life. The woman I dated next couldn’t just say she was a Christian, she had to have an active prayer and faith life.

[@catholicfemininity2126]

Oh my gosh, I love that. It's a good thing you married someone who's open to being Catholic as opposed to someone who was indifferent or hated the church.

[@MikePasqqsaPekiM]

Loved this video. It seems most folks considering marrying someone expect them to either stay the same, or change in various positive ways. Neither of those expectations is a given. I’ve seen some Catholic-Protestant marriages work well, but I’ve also seen the sorrows of Catholic spouses who discover their partner no longer wishes to raise children in the faith, and in some cases, actively prevent it and in some rare cases, convince their Catholic spouse to break communion. I do not think that just because two Catholics marry it all works out (we know that’s sometimes not the case, too) but it is knowingly joining oneself for life to someone who may not agree on things like the Eucharist, contraception, marriage itself, etc…this could be a beautiful marriage, or a very, very heavy cross. Take the pre-marriage preparations seriously, and don’t gloss over warning signs. Have those conversations BEFORE “death do us part” 👍

[@Charlotte_Martel]

I guess it depends on whether you're a believing, practicing Catholic or just a cultural one. If the former, then you want a spouse who will support you in your faith and guide your children in the faith. As the child of an interfaith marriage (Jewish dad, Catholic mum), I can tell you that everything is a struggle. Holidays, religious chats with relatives, navigating religious rites. My parents did the best they could, but I was acutely aware of how much less stressful family life was for friends/family members who had married within their religions.

[@camythomas6860]

Thank you Fr. Gregory and Matt Fradd. You've been a huge help through these years through this ministry on youtube. Do know, that your Prudent insights, and the conversation on Pints between Matt and the various other Believing Catholics has encouraged this Catholic to come back deeper into faith and even has been instrumental in preaching in the jungles of Papua New Guinea.

[@jokerguycz]

God have mercy upon me a sinner

[@FinelinePictures]

Brought my non-Catholic girlfriend (nonformal Christian) to mass and she broke out into tears afterwards because of how the priest looked into her eyes when giving her the blessing instead of Communion. After bringing her to the Latin mass for the first time, she cried during the car ride back and said "Now I know what they mean by 'fear of God.'" While I pray that the Holy Spirit touches her heart and brings her to the truth of the Church, I do understand that as long as we are *compatible* in values that could someday lead to, God willing, a fruitful marriage with chchildren, it's fine. Sometimes Providence works in such a way so as to allow us to be vessels to bring about good in others' lives.

[@bogdanique]

Thank you both father Gregory and PWA for this beautiful short talk!

[@flyingphoenix113]

I think the world has changed substantially in the last 25 years. These days, I think a commitment to, yearning for, and practice of Christian faith is more important than mere denominational adherence. A nominal "Catholic" who attends mass less than 5 times a year is almost certainly going to be less complementary as a partner than a Protestant/non-denom/Orthodox who is spiritually active. I also have seen more spiritually-active non-Catholics come to a rich practice of Catholicism than I have lapsed Catholics regain their faith and practice (and those who do often do so only briefly to placate his/her spouse). These are just my anecdotes and observations, however, so take them as such.

[@MrMustang13]

How about dating “Catholics” in name only? I feel like this is a trickier situation as many people identify with being catholic but then reject almost every core teaching of Catholicism.

[@MrMustang13]

@@OrthoLou they’re easy to identify but like the question is, do you rule them out? Or “make lemonade with the lemons” if you will. Because I’ve never met a truly catholic girl but I know many catholic-identifying

[@BeanZBoT]

@@MrMustang13 ​ I’d say you then rule them out. I can speak for myself and say that I would not want to be married with a wife that rejects core teachings of Catholicism. I want to be married with a wife that accepts Church teaching and will raise our children according to the Church teachings. We should seek to get married with someone who is Catholic in actions, not just in name. It is the actions that will lead your children and yourself to Heaven. And we must do the same as well.

[@mrjeffjob]

@@MrMustang13 you rule them out. Period.

[@Maria_J_]

@@MrMustang13 Truly Catholic girls do exist. You might be able to find them at daily Mass.

[@mariemunzar6474]

@@MrMustang13 I'd say catholic-identifying is better than nothing or not a catholic at all, but it isn't my preference.

[@SaintCharbelMiracleworker]

Not a risk worth taking, have to consider the children as well. It can cause immediate/extended family quarrels. We have raised our children to consider Catholics only for dating to be equally yoked.

[@CatholicKatherine]

I feel like dating non Catholics can be the same thing as dating luke warm Catholics. I tend to date guys that do not go to church, but grew up going to church. Personally for me on dating apps I filter to only Catholics. At this point I am 28 - I have waited long enough - I will keep waiting for a Catholic.

[@MaggiePies]

Same🙋🏾‍♀️

[@krjohnson29]

I was just a sort of seeking christian when my wife and I started dating, and even up to when we got married. And she was too. Then I became Catholic and found out she is kinda hostile to the Catholic Church... She's gradually come around a little more, but it's still a source of division in our household unfortunately. If you are an on-fire Catholic I highly recommend sticking within the faith if you are at all able.

[@DavidMatias79]

As a revert, I was in a similar situation (plus a baby) and she divorced me two years later. I hope and pray you have a better outcome.

[@krjohnson29]

@@DavidMatias79 So sorry to hear that ❤️, prayers for you brother 🙏 No, I don't think we will be getting a divorce. We still love and respect each other on many levels. But her entire family are Baptist clergy and she's very hostile to certain aspects of the faith. And, I fear, our liberal parish here in Oregon is probably not a help... 😬 We cannot conceive, so we are foster parents instead and looking to adopt. She hasn't found a church in our area she likes so occasionally she brings the kid(s) to the parish. I think the real struggle will likely be how we raise any children we adopt. With fosters we can't really do too much with regard to religion without permission of the bio-parents (taking them to church services and talking with them is about it), but that will change once we adopt. Prayers are certainly appreciated... ❤️

[@DavidMatias79]

@@krjohnson29 will pray for you. My ex was Baptist but more like Northern Progressive Black Baptist. She might have been okay with me being a liberal Catholic, which I sort of was for a few months. But yeah, the deep seated anti-Catholicism came out and that was kinda shocking. She def has personal issues too. I hope your relationship grows stronger through the trials.

[@dianawilde417]

Thank you for being honest. God bless you and your family.

[@rosariopelobello3216]

Thank you, Father Gregory…well explained,

[@TacosnZorro]

So lovely to see so many stories here about successful and respectful marriages that are unyolked. But they aren't all like that. Many are not. Its always better to be equally yoked. Always.

[@meganbrennan454]

I have been looking for a video like this

[@Grantthecatholic]

Please pray for my girlfriend to come to Catholicism and for the success of our relationship

[@WeimerCaff]

I love your channel Grant

[@onvogmasaj]

ok i prayed BUT there IS a time limit

[@Gabriel-xr1df]

Same her please :)

[@onvogmasaj]

@@Gabriel-xr1df same _HER_ ?! does grant know about this?!

[@barbwellman6686]

Father, please produce another episode speaking directly to the marital conflicts that will arise over the Sacraments when married to a non-Catholic.

[@bluesman091]

Can I ask for prayers? I'm at the "more than ready" stage and keep trying. Thank You.

[@DavidMatias79]

11 years ago I wasn't practicing any Faith when I "married" (outside of The Church, without a dispensation) a woman who was Baptist. After we conceived a child I was surprised to find myself called to The Church. I reverted in a big way to the Faith I was raised in but never really knew. For the first few months she was happy I was a Christian. Then I got really serious about my faith and some deep seated anti-Catholicism came out. She refused to cooperate with getting our union convalidated by The Church. She did not agree with any of it. She chose to divorce me instead. I am currently trying to prepare my daughter for First Communion during the time that I have her. God willing I will marry a good Catholic woman in the not too distant future and have a true and beautiful marriage and family.

[@aperta7525]

It would be recommended to look into getting your marriage investigated by a tribunal and whether an annulment would be granted, before considering marriage.

[@DavidMatias79]

@@aperta7525 I was told by priests that the "marriage" was invalid before there was even a divorce. That is what led to her divorcing me. Because I was a baptised Catholic I was bound to be married in the Church. Not being married in a proper nuptial Mass (without a dispensation) makes it automatically invalid. It's called Absence of Canonical Form or Defect of Form. My pastor submitted a one page form along with my Baptismal Certificate, Marriage Certificate, and Divorce Decree to the Tribunal and a Decree of Nullity was issued 7 days later. This was over 4 years ago.

[@therese_paula]

God bless you and your daughter and your future family. Gos bless the mother of your daughter, too, may God draw her to Him and His Church in His time.

[@DavidMatias79]

@@OrthoLou Divorce was always an option for any reason for her. She went for a divorce so quick it made my head spin. And quoting Scripture to her didn't help at all. She did not like me doing that.

[@Charlotte_Martel]

@@OrthoLou Having kids makes faith difference REAL. Before kids, it's the 2 of you against the world, and true love can conquer all, yada yada. Once the kids come, it rapidly make you realise that if you don't raise them in your faith, you will be the broken link to thousands of yrs of faith and tradition, dishonouring your ancestors.. That's heavy.

[@chaser595]

I drove 20+ hrs both ways total to spend time with my now wife for a weekend once a month, she is a devoted Catholic who goes to Church and so do I. She came my way twice. I did this for a half year before proposing and a year and a half after meeting the first time we became married. Dating a Catholic who regularly goes to Church should be a priority. I see many women in my parish with kids who go to Church alone because their husbands are either lukewarm or non-Catholics.

[@kaylynn4750]

I’m a Protestant who dated a Catholic. I was fairly serious and spiritually active and he sometimes was lukewarm but had deeply held views on his Catholicism. He converted from Lutheranism to Catholicism during the course of our relationship. People often told him that I’d “come around” and become Catholic, sometimes with me in the conversation. Being very devout and having done my own research, I firmly declared that I didn’t know if I would change my mind in the future, but I certainly would not become Catholic presently and I do not wish to swear upon any contract or agreement that says our kids must be raised in the Church. My entire stance was: I don’t care that you’re Catholic, and I don’t care if our kids CHOOSE for themselves to be Catholic. I will fully support them. I will not stop them from doing that. But I will not sign a contract saying that they have to be raised a certain way. No thank you, I refuse to lie to God or the Church about that intention. It’s a dealbreaker for me because I take agreements to God so seriously. We broke up over other reasons, but a point of tension in our relationship was that confusion with how we would raise our kids one day. I’m a pretty open-minded evangelical and have nothing against Catholics on a personal level (I just don’t accept certain beliefs or practices presently), but even my openness to Catholicism and being willing to accept that his views were different from mine and that was okay was too much of a pressure for the both of us. We really need spouses in our own communities, not because we couldn’t make it work, but because it would (at least in my eyes) be fairly unhealthy to not be on the same page spiritually with how we handle church attendance, religious education, and who could decide how to do what. It was very difficult. All I ever was was open to learning more. I embraced his Catholicism and saw lots of value and positive experience in it. I also highly valued the education he received through RCIA and being involved with the small parish in the place where I live (I introduced him to that parish because I thought they were a lovely group of people. He agreed!). He unfortunately did not always understand my own faith journey, as much as I wanted him to. I tried so very hard to understand his. It’s unfortunate. Basically: I don’t think I could ever marry a Catholic. Because they would need to be a serious Christian (I do not want to marry someone who doesn’t have the same passion about faith) and I find the spiritual decisions would be stressful if we’re not on the same page about how to handle religion in the household. Was interested to hear your two cents though! Neat video!

[@Charlotte_Martel]

If you allow your kids to "choose," they'll most likely become atheists. Kids tend to pick the least demanding path that requires the least commitment/belief. That said, I think that you both made a wise decision. OF COURSE raising his children in the Catholic faith was important to him, and of course as a non Catholic you couldn't see promising the Church your potential children. 9/10th of the time, interfaith marriages are a mess.

[@kaylynn4750]

@@Charlotte_Martel I mean, you can’t choose what your children or anyone believes. You can only teach them and give them expectations. I wasn’t raised religious at all and I totally chose to go to church and pursue God even though no one taught me or required me to.

[@Charlotte_Martel]

@@kaylynn4750 I partly agree with you, Kay. You certainly can't force beliefs on your children. However, every sociological study shows the #1 predictor that your child will be of a certain faith is whether his parents raised him in it. This greatly increases if both parents belong to and reinforce the same faith. I can tell you from experience that it feels awful not to fully belong to either of my parents' faiths. At Catholic school, I was always "the little Jewish girl" and was subjected to anti Semitism. Which my father's relatives couldn't understand because I wasn't "really Jewish." It's an unnecessary struggle to place on your children and should be avoided if at all possible.

[@kaylynn4750]

@@Charlotte_Martel I’m sorry that that happened to you. I find that to be incredibly frustrating and annoying. It is true that it is the #1 predictor. And I’ll definitely teach my own kids faith as I perceive it, but anecdotally, I’ve also met far too many “cradle Christians” that end up becoming atheists or agnostics because of their religious upbringing-Something I cannot relate to obviously. The people I’ve met in my short life so far that are my peers often have little to no knowledge of Scripture or their own beliefs, yet I’ve not grown up with faith as they have. I find that interesting and disappointing. My ex was one who, like me, did not come from a family that was truly religious (though they were more open to it), but he made a decision himself to pursue God. I hope that I can create for my own children a desire to learn about God and follow Him. It’s something I wish to do without shutting them off from everything that seems remotely threatening. I want them to think about what they believe and why, and why others don’t. I never felt comfortable believing in God as a teenager (my own personal issues). I want them to know it isn’t weird or backwards or old school, but personal and meaningful to even someone in the modern age. It is hard, yes, but what’s a little difficulty if it means getting to know the Creator of the universe? There’s many more things in life that are “hard” that we see as being perfectly worth our time to pursue. God is certainly among those things and above it.

[@Charlotte_Martel]

@@kaylynn4750 Thank you for sharing your very personal story. I absolutely agree with you that faith should not be based on routines and blindly accepted dogma. One should (and I believe must) be able to defend his/her beliefs, lest they crumble at the 1st challenge. It wasn't so much annoyance I felt as a child; it was more like not belonging anywhere. I'd describe it a bit little being an ex pat: you no longer live in your country of origin, but you never really feel native in your new land no matter how well you speak the language, know the customs, etc. That's what it's like to have 1 foot in each religion. I find your faith philosophy so interesting because I largely shared it when my sons were first born. When my husband and I first met, I was a VERY lapsed Catholic going through a decade's long bout of atheism (9/11 and 7/7 did that to a lot of people). He was an agnostic from a culturally Jewish background. We swore that our children would be exposed to all faiths, taught critical thinking skills, and choose whichever most suited them. Well, this worked up until my older son reached Confirmation/Bar Mitzvah age. It struck me that my children believed in nothing, and that I had shattered links of my family for thousands of years. I began attending Mass again (I still haven't gotten used to "And with your spirit"), and tried to interest my sons in the Church. So, what was the outcome as far for my sons? The older one is an agnostic but much more interested in Jewish culture than his father. He occasionally attends synagogue on High Holy days despite not believing in God. The younger was a flat out atheist until he joined the Marines. During boot camp, he started attending Mass again (initially, it was because they made anyone who didn't attend services do chores on Sunday. I don't know how that's legal, but there you go). But slowly, he said he found a peace there which was indescribable and enjoyed the atmosphere and ritual. I know that he doesn't believe in all of the doctrines yet, but he's open, and that's important. I share this to show that, if you don't raise your children in your faith right from the start, it's highly likely that they'll never choose it. I believe that the Jesuits said. "Give me the child for the first 7 yrs, and I'll give you the man." If my children never join the Church, I fully blame myself for being too idealistic and expecting my children to be the 1st in history to discover their own way with blank slates. Yes, expose your children to other faiths, but at the end of the day, let them know that your path is what you hold to be true and best for them. I honestly wish you well in finding a husband and family. Pax.

[@Anna-tj7mp]

I would be super careful about marrying an atheist or agnostic.

[@websiteckron8591]

I lived 16 years in sin. Then my husband converted to catholic, and we married. 🙏

[@FlexCathedrafromIG]

Personally, this might come off cynical but I would not recommend Catholics who are Discerning marriage and feel called to marry to date outside of Catholic circles. That sounds a bit tribalistic and again, I'm not trying to be cynical but you have to look at exactly what marriage is in the ultimate end goal of marriage. When you date someone and marry someone who is not of the Catholic faith you are already starting in the most important chapter of your vocation already with some riffs and cracks in there. I don't want to date somebody that isn't 100% on board with the same ideals and religious beliefs as I am. To date a Protestant would be better than dating someone who's not religious at all however protestantism still has substantial differences and even heresies that are incompatible with the Catholic faith. When you get to have children it's going to be pretty difficult to reconcile to your children why mommy or daddy is going to mass but the other spouse is not. Why there are two modes of thinking in the household which can potentially divide the children as they grow old and God forbid bring them away from the Catholic faith. That's not to say that God cannot bring two opposites together but if you are dating somebody and the back of your mind you think they are going to convert when that's not one hundred percent promised you are fooling yourself. Deliberately choosing to date and marry someone who's not Catholic is to introduce holes and divides and unnecessary drama that shouldn't be there in the first place. If you get along with your non-catholic spouse great, but for me personally it's a lot easier and more efficacious to date within the Catholic Church. Ultimately you have to think about your children and the type of house you want them to be raised in

[@CatholicCaritas]

Devout cradle Catholic here! Was dating a devout Catholic in college and then we broke up ( Hes a priest now! So shows you just how God's plan is not our own!) then God places a wonderful golden hearted protestant in my life (I was VERY upfront and honest about my values, beliefs, and goals) also I absolutely believe it was God's plan to have me marry this man (for our situation). We fell deeply in love. We spent the better part of 5 years going over what it meant to date and marry a devout Catholic woman and raise devout Catholic kids. 15 years - 4 kids - 2 dogs - 3 plants later. I started my youtube channel out of a deep love for God, BUT have felt called to share: 1. HOW we discerned marriage as an interfaith couple (what questions we discussed and situations we had to come to conclusions on) 2. WHAT topics were "non-negotiables" in which if he wasn't comfortable with raising our children in those teachings or having a marriage under those guidelines. We were not going to be married. I was steadfast. 3. HOW we raise devout Catholic children who live liturgical lives and are developing a growing LOVE for the Eucharist and Our Mother. All without compromising the Catholic teaching in anyway. I believe MOST young people and even people who are already in interfaith marriages (possibly through conversion) have little to no help in this area. I am hoping to provide some help. would LOVE to be on the show, Matt, to discuss

[@LadyK007]

This is so helpful! I would love to check out your channel and learn from your experiences! Thank you!

[@sosaysthecaptain5580]

My dad is Catholic, my mom, a Presbyterian minister’s daughter, was the first Protestant he’d ever met. I’m grateful to have been raised Christian.

[@chaser595]

I am most recently married to a Catholic woman. Dating a non- Catholic doesn't always work out i dated one for 2 years, she was a Baptist. I wasn't going to date another non-Catholic thereafter. I didn't want to be in that same situation again and i was only getting older. There are a lot of single Catholic men and women. Its not even a guarantee you will find one that is devoted to the faith who is Catholic so keep your standards, but don't be to judgemental if that person doesnt meet x, y, or z. Being in a relationship means building each other up and if they have that spark it really shouldn't matter if they aren't everything you want.

[@carlosgonzalez-chavez996]

One critical piece that’s missing from this is the difference between sexes. A devout Catholic man marrying a non-Catholic is more manageable than a woman doing so because of the natural role of spiritual headship in the family which fathers possess.

[@nicoleyoshihara4011]

I personally need and want to date a Catholic ❤

[@arizzzzy]

This is so timely It's insane lol

[@dianawilde417]

This is awful advice. I would rather die single than marry someone who is not a practicing Catholic. A non practicing Catholic would lead me away from Our Lord, rather than closer to him.

[@brianw.5230]

My Dad is not Christian. It's not easy.

[@maxxam3590]

Why should he be?

[@brianw.5230]

@@maxxam3590 so he can get saved.

[@MathAdam]

Can I date a non-Catholic? I’ll ask my wife, but I already know the answer

[@blackwood3243]

I know it's hard to hear, people, but don't even open that door of Marriage to someone that is not the same faith as you or doesn't take their Catholic faith seriously. I highly recommend looking at Fr. Lasance' explanation in his book (which has an imprimatur) "The young man's guide". If you are a man (even if you aren't you) I highly recommend that book.

[@actsapologist1991]

The rule I teach my students is: "Do not - under any circumstances - date a non-Christian. Don't marry a non-Catholic." The guys tend to take this advice to heart readily. I've found the young ladies prefer to learn from bad experiences.

[@leaverus]

what kind of students? it used to be a precept of the Church that Catholics should exclusively marry other Catholics; we should never get away from our steadfast traditions, despite Pope Francis doing his very best to do exactly that.

[@JeansiByxan]

That’s silly. You can’t deny love if it happens.

[@annelid4728]

What is the ratio of marriageable men and women in your parish? Perhaps ther are just not enough men? (Not criticising, just curious.)

[@mariemunzar6474]

Actually I think it's pretty balanced in terms of catholic women dating non catholics and catholic men dating non catholic women. I've known catholic men who dated atheists and other non christians.

[@leaverus]

@@JeansiByxan love doesn't "happen." it's a choice. you can choose not to love someone who doesn't share your Faith. or if you do choose that, MAKE THEM CONVERT BEFORE MARRIAGE.

[@cdmcintyre1854]

I dated a Catholic girl in High School I think 2 or 3 dates. It was not a serious relationship but was progressing nicely than I discovered she was a Catholic and my parents were SDA. Even at that young age I knew that relationship was going to lead to a conflict so I just didn’t ask her out again. I’m glad that happened before we got too involved. Catholic is definitely NOT anything that I can be but I will defend your right to be Catholic.

[@theien5929]

ANAWER: NO, if you love Jesus AND the apostolic Faith

[@raymk]

2:25 Fr. Pine: Don't worry, you won't die. A voice from above, "You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you."

[@Catholicsquirrel]

Absolutely not. Not if you care about your faith and actually believe it to be true! Your children and family deserve unity. They also deserve their best chance of going to Heaven. Children need the example from the mother and the father. Hollywood's portrayal of "love" has destroyed the country. Love is a choice. Feelings fade. You don't have a "soulmate" (sorry, folks). The fantasy of happy ever after doesn't exist. Marriage is hard. It's both edifying and sanctifying. Its God given purpose it to get you, your spouse, and your kids to Heaven. Choose wisely.

[@josephcurtin5631]

Sure. The Church allows it though, so you can say that its better to date a Catholic, but can’t say that in no way should you ever date a non-Catholic

[@Catholicsquirrel]

@@josephcurtin5631 The Church allows it because it isn't *necessarily* evil to do so or *absolutely* evil to do so. The Church's role is to speak objectively on faith and morals and not overstep its bounds. That doesn't mean the Church condones it.

[@Catholicsquirrel]

@@michaellynch7846 Of course it *can* workout. I never said it couldn't, but the reality is that you didn't know he would convert. You took a huge risk that he would never convert. Your husband, and everyone else, have free will and ultimately God can't force anyone into relationship with Him. It is heavily dependent on the person being receptive of the grace and you can never know that a person will be unless they've already done so and are Catholic. I'm saying in my comment that considering your soul and your children's souls are on the line, and the point of marriage and family life is to get each other to heaven, it isn't prudent to marry a non-Catholic. It is incredibly risky, in fact, especially since many studies have shown that religiosity of the father is incredibly important on whether or not the children end up practicing in the future, and a divided household will almost certainly lead to a divided family. I'm happy yours worked out, but your marriage was the exception- not the rule.

[@mrjeffjob]

Absolutely not. I never even considered dating a non believing Catholic. If you are an actual follower of Christ and not just a fan or a cultural Catholic there is zero chance of not being in constant conflict. For example: contraception? Raising kids? Now if Jesus is just a little side hobby then no big deal. You can compromise away the Faith one practice at a time.

[@dianawilde417]

Yes! absolutely spot on 100 percent!

[@aperta7525]

I see a lot of this talk of dating and marriage being centered on the couple. And of course that takes first consideration, that complementarity and chemistry etc. I accept that we are in the time when the Final Battle to be waged between God and Satan is in fact taking place. Marriage and the Family is being relentlessly attacked. My Catholic father married a Protestant, raised us kids Catholic, and are still married. From the child's personal experience, their side to this, I'd say you need to consider more than just yourselves where it concerns marriage, period. Children need both their parents to be role models of the Faith that they are raised to practice in the home. Both of us are grown, legally, and my sibling is not practicing anything, while I have gone through the experience what it is to be groomed by real spiritual devils toward a worldly universalist sort of mentality that painted even serious "Novus Ordo Catholics" as culty - though their words/conduct did some of that themselves (though I've suffered to get out of that circumstance of being groomed, and am now a practicing - in my words - "Traddie"; we had grown up in the Novus Ordo, not knowing anything else... And I'll come right out and say it: the Novus Ordo, even with "validity" attested by the Eucharistic Miracles and that my attending was ruthlessly loathed by some of the worst of the demons, the N.O. is deeply deficient as a defense/witness of our Catholic Identity.)

[@angelrogo]

Short answer: yes. Long answer: yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees. That's why it is way more realistic the possibility to find a good non-Catholic woman who is truly respectful, tolerant, kind, loving, and eager to have a stable relationship that can end in a marriage. Trying to find all this in a "Catholic" woman is impossible.

[@EspadaKing777]

I find these sorts of videos really interesting because I feel like I'm coming at it from the opposite direction that I suspect most other viewers are. I'm an unbaptised athiest in a long-term relationship with my Catholic girlfriend. I try to go to Mass with her semi-frequently and be educated on the faith, as I want to support her in anything from which she derives happiness...that's part of being in love with someone! If there is a heaven, I suspect she'll be going without me 😆. The beatific vision doesn't sound very appealing, personally.

[@EspadaKing777]

@lwa313 if I understand things correctly, being in God's presence forever when you don't want to be would be exactly as excruciating as the alternative 😆. But point well made.

[@lordhonksworth7701]

Your comment is very interesting. I'm a practising Catholic, but the Beatific Vision has never sounded appealing to me either. It seems like floating around in disembodied, platonic boredom for all eternity, something that might appeal to Dominicans but not to most normal people. There's a lot of Catholics who lament that we no longer preach about hell, yet I think the bigger problem is we have such uncompelling pictures of heaven - to such an extent that everybody wants to find true happiness on earth in this life instead. Pope Benedict XVI said as much in one of his encyclicals, that the idea of eternal life actually sounds hellish to a large number of people these days.

[@EspadaKing777]

@lordhonksworth7701 wow, this is a really eloquent summation of my feelings about it. It's one of those elements that makes me feel that, if Catholicism is correct, I'm screwed either way. If given the option, I'd opt for eternal life on Earth and, failing that, I'd prefer total annihilation of the soul to either afterlife. Though, from my understanding, the ""me"" that'll be in hell will be incapable of feeling joy or love or anything positive; so that version of me will basically be lobotomised to the extent that they'll bear no resemblance to me on earth. Hard to feel personally invested in the fate of some other version of me.

[@lordhonksworth7701]

@@OrthoLou I think the problem with saying something like 'we can't even comprehend the bliss of heaven' is that we can't comprehend it. As in, we have no reference point. It's a bit like describing the colour green to somebody born blind or trying to explain love to somebody who's never met a special someone. Indeed, particularly for that last example, for most people falling in love would be the closest they get to heaven while on earth, and our Lord is quite clear that there will be none of that in heaven. I think we also need to be a bit more honest with ourselves about experiencing the Mass. Saying things like 'it is a foretaste of heaven' is not going to help someone who experiences it as a joyless obligation for the most part.

[@RealAugustusAutumn]

Fr. Gregory mean-muggin' in the thumbnail 😂😂

[@johndastoli8572]

No, especially for people within childbearing years. 1st commandment demands that God comes first. God should be the bedrock of a couple's marriage, it should unite them in everything they do, especially the values they will raise their children with. Marriage is so hard now a days. In order to be successful you must start off with as many unifying factors as possible. I would also argue that children from marriages with parents from different religions have a much higher chance of being irreligious or agnostic.

[@edouardmarcelin2374]

This video’s timing lol 😅 There’s that woman ( she’s a protestant) we’ve known each other for more than a year. I’ve never met, during my whole life, someone this close to my idea of the perfect woman. At the end of the year we started to get intimate (nothing sexual, in fact she’s the only woman I’ve been talking to without having sexual thoughts that come in) without even trying to.. so she decided that we should stay business partners as if things keep evolving she wouldn’t want her kids to be baptized and me I want that. I’ve decided last Thursday to go for it after all and here comes the video

[@MB-zn9vg]

Having your kids baptised is more important. There are many videos that explain why

[@edouardmarcelin2374]

@@MB-zn9vg i totally agree

[@mac8179]

Why would you marry someone who doesn’t share the most important thing about you? Unequally yoked….

[@PolishSk1ll]

Father, continuing on with marriage, could you address what in marriage looks like after death? Are we still married in heaven?

[@alexs_toy_barn]

No, marriages are useless in the afterlife, look up the beatific vision

[@fabianradomski3178]

“When they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven” (Mark 12:25)

[@Catholicsquirrel]

Marriage is an earthly representation of the Trinity that God blessed us with to uniquely participate in His heavenly family on Earth. Once we get to Heaven, we no longer need an earthly representation of the Trinity because we have been majorly upgraded! We are now in full communion with the blessed Trinity!

[@Charlotte_Martel]

Meanwhile, in Islam, one gets 72 virgins, endless feasts, and rivers of wine. It really doesn't shock me that the Muslim vision of heaven is so much more appealing to young men.

[@Catholicsquirrel]

@@Charlotte_Martel Yes haha and so obviously man made as well.

[@andrasszente391]

I think if you are serious in your faith, the best option is a catholic husband/wife or no husband/wife at all

[@errolugdamina815]

I left my ex gf (Baptist girl) 'cause I am focused on Catholicism. ❤

[@ThanksStJoseph]

Thanks for your thoughts Father. Is it wise though, in our confusing age with the demolition of the Church, to take the present norms as guides? I would be hesitant, especially in this case, to do so. While it may be permissible, and always been possible, Catholics marrying non Catholics has always been the exception and in more fruitful times of Church history only permitted in the rarest of circumstances.

[@iqgustavo]

🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:14 🤔 If not ready for marriage due to age or obstacles, dating might be aimless. Access similar benefits through friendships. 02:46 ❤️ If ready for marriage, it's better to date a Catholic for deeper sharing, shared faith, and better child-rearing. 06:01 ⛪️ Church permits mixed marriages but with certain conditions and hurdles. 07:50 🌐 For those desperately seeking a spouse, branching out to non-Catholics might be worth considering without compromising faith. 10:38 ⚖️ Marriage is not an entitlement; widening scope could lead to vulnerability and potential disappointment. 12:17 🌈 Embrace God's plans even if different from what's envisioned, trusting His goodness and generosity. Made with HARPA AI

[@timothygarvey5258]

Was a protestant but I simped for a Catholic girl and now I have a solid Catholic faith, group of friends, community and a loving girlfriend.

[@dellachiesa8035]

In my view Catholics should not date or marry non- Catholics since we don't share the most intimate details that make a marriage valid like openness to life which means no contraception or abortion. I know someone a close friend who got married to non-Catholic and they got dispensation but the marriage is a reck now. The wife persists in using contraception even though during marriage preparation the lady was told the demands of getting married to a Catholics and worst or all ,she has even done abortion. So if one asks me. I would say cease and dessist from non-Catholic if you intend to marry and to some extent you will have reduced some unnecessary misunderstanding. I'm not saying all Catholics are perfect but since you share the faith, it can be easier for even a fallen away Catholic to understand the tough teachings of the Church.

[@Peaceful_Gojira]

I am 27 years old, and have never "officially" dated a single woman in my walk in faith, and overall life. I know why it is, but I am also patient. I concluded and came to terms with myself, through Christ Jesus, that I may live my whole life with Jesus and not ever get married. I do not care what I want. I only care about what He wants for me, because He knows me better than myself. Now, does that mean I have that outlook at all times? No! I'm a flippin' sinner like you all! We waver every now and again, but when I am thinking about these things, I oftentimes stop myself and realize that while I am not asking for anything intentionally sinful or wrong, I don't want it to be a thing that I am asking out of want...but asking that He be the one to deliver if I am worthy of these things. And more importantly, it's not just in a wife/companion for life, but everything I seek and want! The point is this: I will embrace and love the Lord whether I am given a loving companion in life on this earth, or I am meant to be single and celibate my whole life. All I can do, is pray and act in the direction He has set forth for me. Pray for me, brothers and sisters...converting slowly to Catholicism. Nothing's seemed clearer and more challenging in my life, despite knowing it is the right path for me. Blessings to you all, married or not. Christ be with each and every one of you. Mary, pray for us poor sinners. Amen.

[@nickig213]

What exactly does he mean by “Turbo Catholic”? I’ve never heard that term before.

[@AWSKAR]

If you find reasons to do the sign of the cross more than ten times a day you might be turbo

[@bookishbrendan8875]

Are well said, but what is the advice for people *already married* and one seeks to convert to Catholicism years, and children, into the marriage? Such as two atheists and suddenly one has a revelation and becomes invested in the faith but the other doesn’t understand this? What would your advise be to such a couple, especially when formally pursuing it further has been warned as grounds for divorce by the other, and the prospective person doesn’t want a divorce nor to lose their kids, but can’t stop following where they feel they’re being called?

[@PalmTreeDayDreams]

This is somewhat my experience too :( I met my husband while we were both atheists and I've come to slowly convert over the years from a vague "spirituality" to protestantism to now going through RCIA and feeling intensely called to Christ while my husband shares none of this at all. We don't have kids yet and he respects my beliefs but I never in a million years would have thought about dating a Catholic man when I was nonreligious. I love my husband and can't imagine divorcing him but I pray fervently for his conversion. Élisabeth Leseur was married to an atheist while being a devout Catholic and he converted after her death.

[@juliee8897]

​@DarciTAllen God bless you! I converted shortly after marriage, and we were previously non-religious/agnostic. My husband did convert eventually, and I pray yours does, too. Try not to push it on him - I know that can be very difficult!

[@PalmTreeDayDreams]

@@juliee8897 Thank you very much! It certainly is difficult but I love hearing so many stories about entire families converting eventually and I pray that one day my husband does come to know Christ. Thank you for the prayers as well!

[@Catholicsquirrel]

I recommend watching the movie "The Case for Christ" perhaps even with your Spouse! It's a true story of a Protestant and an atheist who were married. He was militantly atheist and worked for the Chicago Tribune (? I believe). Tries to prove Christianity wrong through investigative journalism, but fails. The movie portrays the wife's struggle with herself and her children. She prays for him daily and he ends up converting in the end. I'm not saying every story has a happy ending, but maybe it could bring you some hope. It also answers many of the common arguments atheists have. I'm very sorry you're going through that. I will pray for you.

[@PalmTreeDayDreams]

@@Catholicsquirrel Funny enough that's actually the movie I watched that was the turning point for my conversion as well as my mom's!

[@joesouthwell4080]

Recent convert here, why do you need permission from the bishop when marriage is a sacrament given by each other not the magisterium?

[@antezulj4453]

If the question is SHOULD you, then the answer is definitely a no. COULD you, that would be a yes.

[@missbeautiful.nettiktok]

What If you married ; with kids and your catholic but husband isn’t ; do you continue to pray for his conversion or divorce ?

[@reverendcoffinsotherson5807]

No. Thanks for watching the video.

[@corilv13honey9]

Please advise- No.

[@chrisobrien6254]

What really bothers me is that for the last 60 years the Church has preached “Ecumenism” and “no proselytizing”, and “Church of accompaniment”, and “we’re all part of the same body” etc….l!! But at the same time they encourage Catholics to only date other Catholics🤔😑😒 Thanks for that V2, Church. Those of us, especially single parents, who are having a really hard time finding a Catholic spouse are very indebted to you. 😑😒😜

[@Geldergroen]

What if, i am a catholic but repend later again, and already have a wife and a daughter but my wife isnt Catholic.? My daughter is baptised so my wife doesnt block the faith but she does not believe Catholicism, very difficult sometime

[@philipbuckley759]

probably not, but most people only seem to give lip service, to their belief system...

[@elespiritudelradium4805]

Why not the opposite? That You are too old to get married?

[@brucewmclaughlin9072]

Catholic? How about a believer marrying a non believer? if you are a believer in Christ there is no difference in your destination and calling yourself Catholic or a tiddlywink makes no difference at all. It is you and God ,that relationship is all you need. When it comes to matters that are stumbling blocks like the heresy of praying to saints , or Mary or praying for the unrepentant dead to be given forgiveness , you need to go to the scriptures for your truth not to any church group that tells you what to believe. Marrying a believer and an unbeliever is a recipe for a broken relationship with Christ.

[@kurtwingston619]

I just found out my baptist fiancé won’t let me baptize our future planned babies 😢. We can’t marry if she will not allow it. Looks like I have to move on. Advice please..

[@chosen2865]

2 Corinthians 6:14

[@estebanmoeller]

Ppl usually marry the person they are in love with. Why does all the paper work and canon law not even include the question if they are in love? What a vacuum. Plus, a non-catholic could be a buddhist or a christian who loves Jesus more than I. And why do we always say "The Church" is if it were de fide when much of it is just positive law or even somebodies opinion

[@Lauradahl-creations]

I thought being single was NOT a true vocation sent by God?!

[@JohnCampbell5650]

I hate to break it to you, Fr , but No, you should not date at all, a Catholic or otherwise :) (Couldn't resist answering Fr Greg's question)

[@haydongonzalez-dyer2727]

Nice

[@AdianPryde-qz5it]

Your decision on who you date. Just keep any underage kids in your family away from priests

[@arturorivas4520]

Flirt to convert

[@nategraham6946]

While I would love to one day get married, I have all but given up on the ide. I am also not catholic and gay, so rather irrelevant eithe rway.

[@applin121]

Chance would be a fine thing….no chance.

[@JezielProdigalSon]

What if im not catholic? Should i date a catholic?

[@clouddancer46]

Do you identify as Catholic curious.

[@jokerguycz]

you should become catholic first

[@mrjeffjob]

No.

[@mariemunzar6474]

I don't know if that's ideal for you. If you like a Catholic study the religion and convert before marrying one.

[@shishsquared]

As a non Catholic, no. One or both of you would need to compromise on your beliefs at the moment to make it work, or otherwise diminish their importance. Anything that is deeply important to you you should share your opinion with your spouse (dating should be with the intention of marriage). The same is true for anything else you both agree is important, like politics. If you both don't think religion or politics are important, then it's not important to agree on them

[@chunkysnail9351]

No

[@samuelholm316]

"Should I date a non-catholic?" Yes, no problem. We're pretty nice actually and we won't steal your rosary, generally speaking. 😜

[@leaverus]

i can answer this even before watching: ABSOLUTELY NOT! and if you choose to DATE a non-Catholic (at your peril) then make them convert prior to marriage

[@mball5]

I’m not sure I would take dating advice from a priest, but if you want to, then that’s fine

[@Catholicsquirrel]

Actually, a Catholic Priest is a great person to take relationship advice from. Catholic Priests here confession from thousands of married couples. They give spiritual direction to probably hundreds of married couples. They help those struggling with divorce and seeing what caused the downfall of one's marriage. Many of them have had relationships prior to joining the Priesthood, and many of them live a life devoted to prayer and fasting bringing them uniquely close to God and the wisdom of the Holy Spirit. I can't think of a better person to get relationship advice from.

[@Charlotte_Martel]

Agreed. Priests can offer excellent advice on many topics, but asking them about dating/marriage is like taking one's car to the bike repair shop.

[@monet7089]

Im a Christian just not Catholic, and I'm getting married next year to my fiancé which is a Catholic. I'm really strong in my faith in the Bible and Jesus Christ and I believe that if we get married she is supposed to follow and submit to my lead as I will be the head of the family (just as the Bible teaches) and not the other way round. However, my fiancé's family is pushing us to the Catholic faith, which I do not approve of and I also made it clear that it won't happen. If any time my fiancé will submit to this Catholic belief, I will cancel the wedding because that shows separation and does not represent the oneness that Jesus was talking about as Him and the Church are One....I also do not believe in raising my children as Catholic, they should be raised in my belief because I'm their father. Am I wrong for my decision ? whats your take on my situation?

[@soundknight]

No, God should be first on your relationship.

[@therese_paula]

😂 Forget dating. Be a Dominican. 😁

[@MB-zn9vg]

@@OrthoLou pretty sure that person was being facetious

[@justinnguyen1888]

Well, I had feelings for a Muslim and uh….let’s just say I’m traumatized now 😂😭😭

[@IC-XC_NIKA]

The church permits but does not encourage! What is wrong with you man?!!

[@brendandowner7090]

Taking advise from a celibate priest on dating... bad idea... why would you.. what does he know of the real world.....

[@Takeawaycup54]

This priest is boring

[@michaelbledsoe4355]

It's obvious that this Pints with Aquinas character is like Jimmy Akin and doesn't have any Theology degrees or formal bible training. I'd be surprised if he has any degree.

[@clouddancer46]

Who told you degress make you smart.

[@michaelbledsoe4355]

@@OrthoLou Matt

[@tonywallens217]

I think he is actually working towards his doctorate. Plus….. he’s a Dominican priest….

[@michaelbledsoe4355]

@@tonywallens217 He seems very unfamiliar with Catholic or Protestant doctrine.

[@tonywallens217]

@@michaelbledsoe4355 seems to me like he’s pretty accurate when it comes to both. And he doesn’t engage in polemics

[@METALITHrevetments]

The last person that anyone should ever take relationship advice from is a Catholic priest.

[@Catholicsquirrel]

Actually, a Catholic Priest is a great person to take relationship advice from. Catholic Priests hear confession from thousands of married couples. They give spiritual direction to probably hundreds of married couples. They help those struggling with divorce and seeing what caused the downfall of one's marriage. Many of them have had relationships prior to joining the Priesthood, and many of them live a life devoted to prayer and fasting bringing them uniquely close to God and the wisdom of the Holy Spirit. I can't think of a better person to get relationship advice from.

[@METALITHrevetments]

@@Catholicsquirrel To each his own. I respect your right to your own opinion.

[@NorthCountry84]

Or from someone in the comment section

[@Marcus-sk2xf]

You listened to this whole video.

[@METALITHrevetments]

@Borna Fresh Uh huh...right.

[@michaelgarner4229]

Yes definately date a non catholic protestant, and hopefully they can lead you to a real relationship with Jesus.

[@Charlotte_Martel]

And...this is why Catholics shouldn't date Protestants (Evangelicals in particular). No matter what they claim, they will never accept Catholicism as a true form of Christianity and will constantly try to convert you.