How Catholics (Should) Date

Jackie has some straightforward advice about dating that will eliminate the ambiguity often involved, while hopefully leading to more vocations and a healthier dating culture:
1. If you’re not ready to get married, there’s no point in dating.
2. Guys, ask the girl, “Can I take you out on a date?” Girls, if he doesn’t ask, you ask. Whoever asks should pay.
3. A first date shouldn’t be longer than ninety minutes, and shouldn’t cost more than ten dollars. You’re just getting to know each other.
4. After three dates, you should know if the relationship is going anywhere. Either end it or extend it. Don’t be shy. Life is short.
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[@danielh2515]

Hey you, yes you reading the comments, God bless you and your family. Have a good day my friends.

[@battleship6177]

You too

[@grissarceo]

Daniel Harper God bless you and have a nice day

[@amokay746]

Aww Thankd Daniel. GOD Bless You.

[@patd3626]

Thx man God bless

[@imtom3721]

Thank you brother! You too! God bless!!

[@Fireflycolor1]

When I was 13 years old I decided not to date until marriage was a true posibility. My friends though (and still think in these way) that I was crazy, that I was going to miss things like "tennage dating", "the kiss at prom" etc. I'm 23, still don't have a boyfriend, or a kiss, or a date but I don't have regreats. If my vocation is marriage it will hapend (I mean, i don't spend my days hiding from men) life is not a race, and in the end God knows best! Bless you all! (Sorry if i said something weird, english is my second languaje 😘)

[@lawrencekeenan9234]

Thanks for posting, it’s great to see that there are girls like you out there. If gives guys like us hope 🙏🏻

[@burningroses2399]

Your writing is good, and I agree hun. God bless you.

[@ambockzendine7216]

Exactly my condition

[@Eserr7856]

Thanks for sharing. When you meet the right man, he’ll be blessed to have you! God bless!

[@nabukeeragerminah3695]

Fireflycolor1 finally I meet someone with the same values ☺️

[@petershea6666]

My friend spent months working up the courage to ask a girl out, and she said yes. They went out and had a lovely time, and he was so relieved because everything was working out. Then, the next time they talked, she let him know that she had *never* had any interest in him. She had just said yes because she felt obligated. He was CRUSHED. It was so, so, SO much worse than if she had just been upfront and said no to the date in the first place. Speaking as a guy: PLEASE DO NOT SAY YES IF YOU HAVE NO INTEREST IN A RELATIONSHIP.

[@stopcasteevilanjanienanlal8693]

Yes you cannot be hurtin ppl. Its really hard for them

[@chinh817]

The girl may not be attractive to him, but it may also be that he needs to learn to have an intimate relationship with God. If he doesn't have that all rejections are devastating. If he does then he should be happy that God answered his prayers, not this girl. Is it still hard? yes, but we should be helping each other find God's will for their life, not hoarding the girls we want.

[@bluemaverick5641]

Even though you're friend's feelings got hurt he can take it as a learning experience which he would not have had if the girl had rejected him from the very beginning. Dating is a process and you won't necessarily marry the first girl you take on a date.

[@auddie7133]

I'm listening to this instead of what the lady said because one of my friends wants to date me and I am not interested in him in any way shape or form and I don't want to lead him on

[@ganymede242]

This is a complex question. I see a lot of women default to 'no' and I think Jackie is arguing to give a guy a chance. I've known many relationships where it took a while for a woman to warm up to a man. If you barely know them, it makes sense to spend 45 minutes chatting over coffee. However if you are certain it's not going to happen then be clear immediately. I also think that culturally we should feel that an initial chat over coffee is no big deal. If we invest it with huge significance and get emotionally invested it's going to be harder.

[@rhdtv2002]

I love my Catholic wife..I'm Catholic too but you know..life is easier when you are of the same yoke

[@learnbibleversethroughpict6027]

💯% agree with you😇

[@LittleFlowerluv]

Jackie and Bobby out here single-handedly fixing the dating scene for catholic singles-the struggle is real 😂😂 appreciate you guys and this channel!!

[@sergiop5914]

Exactly!!

[@ClaireFrances]

This video was amazing. I am a new convert, to catholicism, and to Christianity so I was never chaste. I have just gotten out of a five year relationship with somebody and we pretty much slept together from the beginning. I had never until literally right now, seen a problem with sex before marriage. I had felt if two people are committed no big deal but what you just said made the penny drop. You have converted me to being chaste before marriage, because I realize that by sleeping with someone you do bond with them. It's stupid but I never even considered it and I bonded myself to a bad person for five years. I had considered chastity before marriage in the past but guys talked me out of it, now whoever I meet next won't be talking me out of it. Thank you.

[@learnbibleversethroughpict6027]

😇

[@crashfuel3085]

Very cool. Stay gold!

[@vanessaa1640]

I'm 26 and I've never been asked out let alone even kissed and I sort of felt like an alien on planet earth.I still get annoyed of peoples reactions when they find out but I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one and there's nothing wrong with me thanks Jackie I love your videos.Hi from Mexico!😀

[@AHalevonEric]

You're not an alien or an incel or TFL. You are who you're meant to be.

[@shadowplay1990]

I’m 29 and have only been on a handful of dates and also never kissed. It bothered me up until about a year ago when I watched Fr. Mike’s video about “The One” I also realized that I’m God’s no matter what and He alone is all I need. I still pray for my husband everyday and do become discouraged from time to time, but I know I have Him. Remember that you are His beloved! :)

[@CheekyKleurling]

Dios te bendiga, señora

[@mufi]

In the words of the homie Young MC - "Don't just stand there, bust a move!" The guy isn't going to fall out of the sky. Get to know more people gradually and sooner or later a dude will ask you out. But you need to put yourself in a position where to meet people. God Bless.

[@qnhoang]

girl, we’re the same age :) I’ve half assed more relationships than I can count (acting like you’re dating but you’re not/ falling into sin) and you may feel like an alien sometimes but you’re saving yourself soooooo much heartache. Praying for you ❤️

[@nickk4851]

Saying that you shouldn't date in high school is one of the craziest and most reasonable things I've heard in a long time. My initial reaction was "what!?", and then realized it made total sense.

[@seialofia]

I honestly wished I watched this before senior year high school bc in that time I felt pressured to date and that’s why I dated my ex boyfriend. He definitely was not the one at all and long story short it became very toxic and I had to call it off or else it would not have been a safe situation for myself or him. So yeah. To any high schooler seeing this, don’t date bc you are pressured date bc you want to and honestly it is not worth dating in high school. :)

[@yourbiggest1fan]

I'm 24, Catholic and I married my high school sweetheart. We made it through long distance for 4 years in college. We've been together for 6 years now! BUT "How to find your soulmate without losing your soul" by Jason Everett was my Bible. I didn't believe in dating in high school, or dating to break up. Glad to say, he's my first and only boyfriend. Definitely dated to marry! With that said, we are kinda a rare exception.

[@violinlover4255]

@Ken H. woah okay buddy first of all no, second of all no. If you're a Catholic then that's embarrassing 🙈 women and men are equally loved in the eyes of God and apart from religion, why shouldn't women have equal rights to an education? We're people too.

[@violinlover4255]

Honestly I don't have anything wrong with going on a date or two in high school because sometimes high school sweethearts are married. I'm not allowed to ask a guy out on a date, but I don't think I would even if I was allowed to simply because I'm not going to push for anything rn. I've got a whole life ahead of me to get to know a spouse. Right now I need to get to know myself in strengthening my family and friend relationships.

[@TheSalami]

@Ken H. based

[@Magdalena287]

I'm 31 and have been married to my husband since I was 19 and he was 20, the only thing I regret is not meeting him sooner. I had one other guy in my life during high school and I wish my first time could have been with my husband. We have 4 beautiful kids now and i would say life is pretty good though 😊

[@yousifpeter3892]

God bless your family sister ❤️🙏

[@verobarrionuevo]

My main issue on dating is that everybody believe that you ougth to have sex. Many men I dated were expecting this even in the first date. This is an issue to me because I really want to be chaste before marriage.

[@clare_jordin]

María Barr I agree with you. That’s why I just friendzone them in order to get rid of those kind of guys

[@michelledax4083]

You may want to pay attention to what you wear, so as not to give the wrong impression. No way on first date. Hope you stay strong and wait. Also, be careful with alchohol because that can create problems, too. Even if you are not drinking and the other person is; beware. Focus more on dates in public places or in groups.

[@bamafencer12]

@@michelledax4083 This is horrid advice. A girl could wear sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt and would still want sex. I don't think you understand male sexuality.

[@michelledax4083]

@@bamafencer12 Oh, I do. Believe me. Girl in sweat pants still gets raped, too. Girls dress way too provacatively because that is what gets a man's attention and approval. You say one thing and do the other. And, I mean "do" in more than one way. Who are you to be dishing out advice???

[@felos9274]

@@bamafencer12 speaking as a male, its incredible advice.

[@WordsPictures997]

Giiirrrllll!!!! This needs to be on loud speakers everywhere. Thank you so much for this Jackie.

[@michaelzutz6823]

Jackie regime 🤣

[@number1english1]

Wow, I wish I could add 200 likes to this video. I've been saying this for years: the purpose of dating is to find your future spouse. Too many young people are wasting their time hooking up with people they have no intention of being serious with. This video basically summed up the frustration of my youth. I thought I was the only one...

[@alfredojuncor6362]

Ok Now I need to find a Catholic girlfriend with the same strong beliefs

[@matthewzbornak6880]

Alfredo JuncoR, I’m thoroughly convinced that these beliefs are way too cold and calculated to allow for a loving and dynamic relationship to come from it. She’s basically saying “have all your ducks in a row and know what you want” but then adding in 4 points to make everything more difficult. This is my opinion but as someone who has spent a lot of time dating (and ultimately being the one who does all of the messing up) you don’t want your potential partner to say “wow, I regret all of this” when you make a single mistake. Because that’s what this kind of advice ultimately leads to, an uncaring and utterly self-interested view of dating.

[@buikejesus]

@@matthewzbornak6880 If I may ask, are you a Christian or Catholic?

[@matthewzbornak6880]

buike4jesus 2018. I thought they were the same thing? I am Catholic

[@buikejesus]

@@matthewzbornak6880 Well, yeah. Catholicism is a denomination of Christianity.

[@flanaggenwaters]

@@matthewzbornak6880 if you say you are Catholic you are Christian. But if you say you are Christian, I can't assume you're Catholic. You could be Methodist, LDS, Baptist, non-denominational Christian, etc. Hence why the question for clarification cause some churches approach dating differently.

[@LB-ku6ry]

I’m 59 years old. I wish I would have had this information as a teenager. It’s so pure and respectful.

[@ianlee3296]

I heard you speak two months ago at Theology on Tap here in Denver. I want to say that after that talk, I asked for a girls number who I was interested in with the intention of asking her out on a date. About two days later after Theology on Tap, I get a text from her and asking to be more than just friends. We've been seeing each other quite often and have decided to make it exclusive as of this week. Just want to say thanks for coming out to Denver and the good talk you gave that brought good blessings from it.

[@susangrande8142]

This is absolutely golden advice! I’m 60 years old, was raised agnostic and when “dating culture” was still a thing, went too far way too many times, and got thoroughly messed up by it. I met my DH at age 47; we married 3 months after our first date, and we’ve been happily married since then. I completely agree with Jackie’s dating advice, and I wish I’d known about it as a teenager and young woman. (I converted to Catholicism 6 years ago.)

[@rockmintswirl5616]

Happy belated Welcome Home to the Holy Catholic Church! ~ Rockfeather

[@susangrande8142]

Thank you! 😀 I’m in a program studying to become a spiritual director and director of spiritual retreats. I’m very, very happy to be a Catholic!

[@rockmintswirl5616]

@@susangrande8142 You're welcome! That sounds very interesting!

[@teenherofilms]

Susan Grande You went from one goofy idea to another.

[@kodingkrusader2765]

Ive been with the most amazing woman for 6 months. Ive known i wanted to marry her since easter dinner at her moms (my second date). I have a bad track record. I was gnostic i have a baby momma and an ex wife (im 33) i was looking for the wrong things. After the bm cheated i sat down and made a list. 3 pages. This woman i was working with was attractive and our company was closing. Started dating and this woman meets every single one of my requirements. Im scared of actually marrying her bc now im Catholic i know i cant divorce (my first marriage is invalid bc she was married before i got married bc i was in iraq and got shot at and blown up a few times and figured id die and didnt want tondie unwed). Anyway. Im just glad to see 3 months of dating was all you needed to tie the knot bc ive been so scared but always felt you should know pretty quickly.

[@hannahalexie5158]

Also, GUYS: if you live within a few hours of the woman, drive to her city for the first date. Heck, no matter where you live go to her city for the first date. I promise you she will appreciate it and see you as a traditional masculine man who is a leader. It is such a turnoff to be asked to meet halfway and honestly, I think a much bigger sign to how that man will be in a relationship/marriage.

[@kotk05]

Ok

[@jessiegenomics]

I've just left a relationship that was completely wrong. I needed to hear this. I am going to try my hardest not to fall back into the spiral and I am going to wait a longggg while before I actually date. Thank you for explaining this in such a non judgemental, but direct, way.

[@love2loveheart10]

Totally regret dating in high school 100%!! After I graduated i did a 1 year dating fast, worth it!

[@AU-pu9vl]

Want to do another?

[@ButtsMcCracken]

Man I really wish someone would've given me this advice 15 years ago. I've had absolutely no blueprint for intentional dating and I've paid the price: 15 years of my life spent flailing around aimlessly in relationships that went nowhere. Kids, please do yourselves a favor and listen to this woman. She knows what's up.

[@jwork4240]

I like this and absolutely agree we need to reclaim dating! However, I completely disagree with the advice to say yes to anyone who asks you out unless you think they're going to murder you. You don't owe anyone a yes to anything (okay, other than God), and you don't have to have a serious reason for saying no. If you already know that you are not interested in someone, don't say yes to a date with them. It's unkind to agree to a date when you know there's nothing there.

[@susangrande8142]

I understand why you say this, but I have to disagree with you, based on my own experience. I once went on a blind date with a man, and he was nice enough, but I didn’t feel a spark with him, and I called him after the date was over and told him so. I went on my merry way. But God had other ideas. I kept thinking about that guy, and I called him back after a few days and asked him to meet me at a park, so we could walk around and talk. Well, sparks flew then. He asked me to marry him a month later; we married 3 months from our first date, and we’ve been happily married for 14 years now. Please keep in mind, that this isn’t a fairy tale. We’ve had our ups and downs and dealt with a lot of hard stuff together (like 3 parents dying, and injuries and illnesses). But he’s the guy for me. Bottom line, in my opinion: say yes to someone for a first date, even if you have no interest in them. At least you’ll have an interesting afternoon or evening, and maybe learn something about yourself. (I’m 63 years old.) I think Jackie’s advice in this video is spot on.👍

[@amandab7]

Thank you Jackie!! I'd love to hear the story of how you and Bobby meet, your dating story and how you know knew each other was the one!

[@roxysk8trgirl]

It's on their website, it is such a neat story!!

[@renatojimenez9653]

Who else is single and love hearing tips and advices from Jackie's?🙋🏼‍♂️

[@joehouston2833]

Find a Muslim woman than convert her to Christ..

[@joehouston2833]

@Brandon Ortiz makes sense

[@Onlinesully]

Renato Jimenez this is a smug woman preaching from inside her marriage. 4 guys wanted to date me etc etc

[@BlessedLifeLoveandFaith]

God bless you and your family Jackie!! What a great video!! I am blessed at age 27, still don't have everything figured out. But I had my first kiss at 26 and dating a wonderful man! We are chaste in our relationship and it really is true to what Jackie says. I have seen all our positive moments and our flaws in particular. It's a struggle to not want to physically show our love to each other, but patience is really vital. We both don't have our careers set and hopefully God grants us grace to keep up with virtues and overall our love. Pray for us! Thank you again. (:

[@joehouston2833]

Yall met at church?

[@joececcacci4879]

Loneliness is prevalent throughout society and more so today than ever.

[@anustinnewsam13]

Jackie, really appreciate you speaking out on the difficult topics that are sometimes hard to hear. I'm 24 and getting married in July but wish I heard this message in high school. I was guilty of being indirect, ghosting, and going too far. If I heard a voice like yours when I was 15 I could've saved the hurt of many others and starting living the good life much sooner. God bless you!

[@jeanneesta2997]

My Take-Away. 1. If you aren't ready to get married.... DON'T DATE. 2. Ask them on a 90 minute date of less than $10 (UGX40,000 my suggestion). And if asked say yes, just say yes. 3. Respect your time and other people's time 4. Chasity helps you not convince yourself that you love someone who you really don't love. DATE... don't hung out and Chill uuurrgggh

[@teenherofilms]

My take-Away I have been dating since the age of 19 and I have never married. Where is this logic of yours coming from? I enjoy other people´s company, I adore the opera and the theater, both cost more than ten pounds, So tell me exactly why I should go through my whole life and not date just because marriage is not for me.?

[@jeanneesta2997]

@@teenherofilms, Going on dates is not bad. I believe that she means the actual process of long term dating and that is what I am referring to. In fact Jackie said we should go on dates, and I concur. Go on as many dates as you like. But don't date someone if you don't intend for it to be serious.

[@teenherofilms]

@@jeanneesta2997 Jackie said this, Jackie said that. Who appointed Jackie the ultimate authority on dating? You say don´t date some one if you don´t intend for it to be serious. How would anyone know if it would turn out to be serious or not, one way or the other?

[@teenherofilms]

My take away I´m 70, don´t intend to get married and date two women. It´s MY life. I repeat it´s MY life!

[@jeanneesta2997]

And that's okay too. At the end of the day it's all up to you. I believe that it's called "Free will"

[@addie-eileenpaige6460]

Thanks, Jackie. Personally, I want a guy to ask me on the first date. I want him to use the word "date," not to "hang" or "do something" or "go somewhere."

[@AP86777]

After 5 years of single life, I have found such a nice catholic man❤ Please pray that it will be a marriage. I sooo wish him to marry. I am 37 now.

[@ruizmorelos]

Oh boy... some harsh truth... but man is it useful!

[@TYCAFILMS]

no

[@xyzzx2454]

Thank you so much, I was feeling down because I got told that I’m “wasting my life” for never doing it with or kissing a guy even when I’m 21. Sure, I might come across as a weirdo or inexperienced person to many people in this current culture of Tinder and Bumble but I know that someday I will meet a like minded guy who saved himself for me.

[@clare_jordin]

ThatGirl. Trust me that’s a GREAT THING. Keep it up! A lot of people regret the partners they’ve slept with and they just self project on others. Don’t let people’s opinions get you down girl! God’s will always comes first and He will definitely bless you with what you want and need. No sex for me till marriage too!

[@cheryl71000]

Your not wasting your life. Do you know how special you will be to your future spouse, for waiting. Plus, you will know he totally loves and is committed to you. Having sex is like emotionally gluing bonding yourself to that person. Your mind goes a bit mad. Take it from me , wait for the person who adores you and only you, a lifer. If he will wait till marriage, it's pretty good that he is committed to you.

[@jamesmerone]

1:18 Preeeeeeeeeaach girl 👏🏾 I tell people and myself this all the time. I'll say I'm not gonna date or have a girlfriend until I'm married, then they say I make no sense. And call me "weird".

[@analuciasequeiracastro9132]

Awesome video. I loved how Jackie used the proper word in Spanish. Wow!!!!! 😂😂 Jackie is awesome. I love all her videos. Thanks, thanks very much. And God bless you, your family and ministry.

[@josejaimeperezsegura1942]

I've played that part 3 times to make sure I had understood right hahaha

[@analuciasequeiracastro9132]

@@josejaimeperezsegura1942 A mí me sonó muy claro jajaja, además de que encajaba perfecto en la idea. 😂😂

[@stopcasteevilanjanienanlal8693]

Bless u MG and uour marriage

[@josejaimeperezsegura1942]

@@analuciasequeiracastro9132 Jajajaja encaja mejor imposible, pero como estoy acostumbrado a una "j" mucho más fuerte, creía que a lo mejor había podido decir algo en inglés que yo no hubiera entendido. Pero a la tercera vez ya había descartado las demás posibilidades jajajaja

[@MiiaVita]

Will you talk about the first engagement that you had that didn't work out? How did you discern that?

[@GuadalupePicasso]

As a man who was once engaged (under very different than Jackie, I assume), I, too, am curious to hear this part of her story.

[@hunberyt4988]

Dating is not entirely about finding your soul mate its generally about learning for the future

[@justinb6266]

What is there to learn...

[@100Denario]

Being unchaste and havIng sex with the wrong Person creates pleasure which numbs people to the pain of their incompatibility. The wisdom of these teachings is deep. It’s not just for no reason. People just didn’t really know how to explain it all that well until recently, for so many. God bless

[@wishIwuzskiing]

I agree with the overall plan and approach. Here is my one big concern. There is a growing segment of the population with significant emotional challenges with narcissism being one of them. For these people, they can be amazingly charming, mirroring (they reflect your values) etc and this can go on for months. We need to give young people the tools to recognize emotional challenges early, early, early in the process.

[@clare_jordin]

wishIwuzskiing EXACTLY!!! Honestly I find dating to be deceptive to an extent, people always put their good attributes on display in order impress you and you don’t get to know the real them. That’s why I friendzone first, if a guy knows that the only thing he’s gonna get from me is friendship, then his true self is more likely to show

[@wishIwuzskiing]

@@clare_jordin Far too many people are having this same experience. Very smart of you to start with friendship and get to know a person.

[@CTS55555]

I almost 40, never married, and didn't desire dating until I was in late twenties. In my early 30s, I became active with dating but I never dated a man that wanted to move into the next step of becoming a couple or getting into a committed or serious relationship...never been been asked by a man to be his girlfriend. However I am thankful that they all friendzoned me early in the relationship and didn't continue leading me on.

[@connormonday]

Lots of people bragging about how old they are without doing x, y, and z (which is great that isn’t happening) but doesn’t it seem like we’ve started waiting way too long to get married? Shouldn’t we be focused on getting ready for marriage sooner, rather than just waiting for it to dawn on you? Our natural fertility cycle seems to suggest we are waiting way too long to get married and procreate.

[@elenahermineregal2824]

That has never been the way I got in a retationship 😂😂. My first "date" with my boyfriend was 3 days long and on the second day we became girlfriend and boyfriend. Before this date we saw each other a few times and then we texted each other for 6 weaks, 2 weaks all the time and the whole night, spoke 2 weaks on the phone every day for some hours and prayed the rosary together every day, then skyped every day for 2 weaks and prayed together the rosary every day and after that we had our first Date. 😂 We prayed alot about each other and pray the rosary together every day since. I just want to say there is not the one way to date or to find the perfekt relationship. We were 23 & 28 at this time and both practicing catholics with the same spiritual community. The most impotant thing is in my opinion that God is in the centre all the time! :) God bless.

[@lala-no6hn]

Elena Hermine Regal Praying the rosary together must be so romantic! That and going to the mass with him are my dreams. Congratulations to you both 😊

[@renaissancegirl87]

You talk about being clear with communication which I do so appreciate. Like actually saying “can I take you out on a date”. It’s amazing to me that people can’t get these words out. I will mention that sometimes one on one can be intimidating and if a guy who I would like to get to know asks me out but I feel like one on one would be too much pressure for me at that time I will say “I would love to get together, and at this time I would be most comfortable doing something in a group setting. Is that ok with you?” THEN if he makes a stink about it or challenges me or is weird I take that as a yellow flag. A man who is truly interested in me for legit reasons will meet me at my comfort level and not put undue pressure. Also you mentioned about not being the girl who just avoids or doesn’t message back, ghosts etc. I confess I’ve been guilty of this. The reason why I have done that is because the man used vey ambiguous language when “asking me out” so then in my confusion and awkwardness about what to say back because I was thinking in my head “what the heck does he mean by ‘let’s hang out sometime???’” I just didn’t respond. 😬 oops. Now I feel like if a man uses language I’m confused about I will ask “under what context will we be ‘hanging out’? What do you mean by that? As friends or on a date”

[@grandeurglory5030]

a low one would date u in d name of friend, so that he wont invest like a date.mostly liars

[@lindseyguin3215]

Hey Jackie! Can you please make a video about emotional chastity?? I really struggle with that and know a lot of other people do as well, but it's so hard to explain. xoxo

[@albablanco9145]

“You’re not swapping spit” EPIC🤣

[@BoycottYouTube2023]

Sharing this with my teens! ♥️

[@allewmerx3609]

I'm doing the same 😊

[@housevinyl4640]

It’s difficult to date when everyone seems to meet online and there are so many people on these dating sites that seem to want a hook up and not a spouse. For those of you who met your spouse after 30, where/ how did you meet?

[@batman-robin-soundtrack]

I utterly despise online dating, but it's how my aunt and uncle met, and they have a very good marriage, so I can't say it's entirely bad.

[@mufi]

lol - I broke every rule Jackie mentioned... But she does make good points. Although I'm skeptical of the whole paying thing. There's so much financial parity between men and women in today's (western) society, so I don't see the problem with splitting the bill in the initial encounters. And she is spot on about being harder to discern about someone when you get intimate with someone. Sex literally changes everything.

[@poetlover30]

True, I agree to wait before being physical but I'm so weak!! 😅 So, I have to invite friends to make sure I don't just "fall" into his arms lol 😊😉 I don't know what it is but I'm usually the type that just stares in his beautiful eyes & just don't even know what he's been saying for the past 20 mins type of thing lol

[@thienanvu4475]

exactlyy Jackie, dating is to get married, there is no point dating without a purpose. Thanks for this super useful advice, love u, Jackie,

[@RanMouri82]

Thank you so much for this. I don't date (probably going to become a consecrated virgin) but really glad that some folks have thought of plans and parameters for dating.

[@cody7575]

RanMouri82 that’s interesting I’ve never heard of that , what anime is your profile picture from?

[@thewaterwarrior9817]

What's a consecrated virgin

[@lisaeshleman754]

@@thewaterwarrior9817 consecrated virgins and consecrated lay people are the Church's best secret. you need to look into it!! it is basically a third path of vocation. the woman who runs RCIA at my parish is a consecrated lay virgin. this can also be a great path for LBGT Catholics who want to live chaste lives!!

[@lisaeshleman754]

@@cody7575 Check it out please!! see my comment above!

[@thewaterwarrior9817]

@@lisaeshleman754 sounds very cool!

[@SimplyZeyma]

I love how straight up and like honest she is about all this stuff, it’s all super helpful info 👏🏼

[@tonyvu7246]

I like the video. But it's a slippery slope to say that you can date multiple people at the same time. Yes it's okay for the first few meet-ups, but people have the tendency to prolong this part, because people can be indecisive or they want to hold out and see what is the best they can get. A strong emphasis on 3 or 4 dates max is a good limit for multiple dating, so you don't waste other's time and are considerate of their feelings.

[@aresye]

Dating is to determine who you're going to court, whereas courtship involves exclusivity. What a lot of young folks believe about dating is actually courtship, and what they think about courtship is actually engagement. Dating is basically what most folks consider "hanging out" nowadays. Just spending time together, either alone or with a group, doing church activities, social activities, etc. to develop a friendship without any emphasis on romantic feelings, and certainly not acting on lust. The whole point of dating is to determine who you start developing serious feelings for. Sadly most folks don't date at all and society actually frowns upon the idea of becoming friends first, so everyone just skips right to courtship but with no intentions of marrying. Just pure, uncontrolled passions.

[@tonyvu7246]

@@aresye You're exactly right that what some people believe about dating is actually something else. That's the problem today. People don't agree on what dating means. From the beginning of a relationship, two people have to clarify the definitions. Therefore, it's mandatory that if we say something like "you can date multiple people at once," you also have to clarify what that does or doesn't mean.

[@clare_jordin]

aresye I agree with you, friendship creates a good foundation. I honestly cannot see myself getting into a relationship with being friends with a person first

[@markhilston2119]

I'm 35 and single. Ive had bad relationships in the past and I had a child with my last girlfriend who I was with for 4 years and our baby passed away. I thought my future was set in stone and in a flash I was stripped from me. I see now how we were not meant for each other but the whole situation affected me very much. Especially the death of our child. Now I feel lie life is passing me by and I'll be alone forever and have no clue how or where to find a girl to even ask on a date. And even if I found a girl I wanted to ask on a date, the thought of following through with it paralyzes me with fear. Fear of looking stupid and fear of rejection. Anybody who sees this comment, pray for me if you are willing to do so. God bless you all 😊

[@_The_God_King_]

Good Luck Mark! :)

[@bruno-bnvm]

Please pray to the Lord to hold, to give you strength. He will answer you. Just give yourself whole to him.

[@jonnda]

The purpose of dating in highschool or even middle school, is to form a better social IQ. I didn't, and I had to quickly figure out in college what all of my peers had figured out over 8 years ago.

[@bamafencer12]

Yeah I wasn't allowed to date in HS and was super socially awkward in college.

[@katien3022]

Yeah but you shouldn’t force it and feel like you have to date someone in high school. It’s such a small pool of people and time in your life.

[@Mrs.BrittSherwood]

"Life is short don't be shy" Amen sister!

[@LacrimarvmValle]

5:41, I'm Spanish, I had to rewind like 3 times cause I thought my bilingual brain played a trick on me, but no, you did curse in Spanish jajajaja

[@pmvrodriguezfamily]

Lluís Melián, 😂😂😂 It happened to me too!!!

[@xMoexWhittx]

Lol!! Same! I didn't think it was a bad word though 🤔😂

[@poetlover30]

Ah, tener los cojones - be gutsy lol! Yea, I didn't think there was anything wrong that word lol - What she was saying is to have the confidence & the Boldness to ask that person out on a date! I'm just afraid to be alone with him so I invite other friends to come along... Is that weird??? What do you think??

[@madhoops1432]

@@poetlover30 Diana, looking to spend time with you boyfriend publicly is a great way to date. It keeps you from falling into sin, but shows you know your strengths and weaknesses. If your fear of being alone with him is due to fear that you might go to far, then you're acting for the right reasons. If its fear for a different reason, you may want to assess your relationship more. Jackie has an awesome video on building a godly relationship...I don't remember what it's called, but its great!

[@littlebear7440]

hey! cojones is not cursing! I'm a native Spanish speaker as well, and it just means to be brave and bold.

[@cel9291]

I totally agree with u !! It's difficult to find someone who understands, supports your faith and helps you go to heaven. In my case, I haven't !! I'm 27 btw !! Aaand my last boyfriend ( I mean the only one I've ever had) dumped me because I was a virgin !! (So I can relate with the feeling) thank u for bringing hope back to me and making me feel that Im not alone or crazy for wanting to do thing right !!! Kisses and hugs from Ecuador !!!!!!!

[@seanhancock9454]

Thank you so much for this Jackie. I'm 20 years old (almost 21) and I've never had a date (not that I haven't asked before). Hearing about your friend and seeing the comments here made me realize that it's not that weird. I now also realize that I need to say the words "would you like to go on a date with me" which is extremely daunting (although easier than flirting around the question).

[@skojigoquist9288]

This is good. Very good. I really wish someone had explained this to me when I was 25.

[@audradietz]

Hi. I'm Catholic, and I'm 51 years old. I do NOT agree that we should only date if we are "ready" to get married, NOR is this HEALTHY message for teens and young adults because we have to LEARN how to have relationships and what kind of relationships work for us and what kind don't...we also have to learn about ourselves in relationships and that takes TIME and TRIALand ERROR and PRACTICE and that means, DATES. I see nothing wrong with dating in high school or college or any other stage in life because "dating" is part of normal human development. In high school, that is when we start learning about relationships and there can be healthy dating in high school and college with no intention to marry. There is no harm in this process and it is healthy.

[@alldoneup]

If by dating you don't mean "and also having sex with whoever you're dating" then I agree with you.

[@VoteTrump50]

#1.. very important. #4..life is short. I would say it would take more than 3 dates....

[@bianian8]

It's crazy how these videos consistently "conveniently" match up with the current questions that are moving through my head

[@bruno-bnvm]

There are no coincidence when you are with the Lord. He's working

[@bianian8]

@@bruno-bnvm Amen

[@arianaranieri7011]

Wow this is so great! I’ve never dated and I’m 20. It is hard sometimes but hearing you talk about all the important things to think about remind me why it’s important and worth while to take my time.

[@KuhEssen]

I for one am happy to have my life experience dating before intending to marry. Just because you date before marriage does not mean you are doing something unintentional or regretful.

[@KojideRamos]

04:50 “DTR” = Define The Relationship for those who might not know. It’s when you just... define... the relationship. Lol k bye.

[@tec631]

I actually did not know what it meant, so thanks for this. Hahaha 😆😂

[@youtubecharlie1]

THANKS

[@arroyomariana]

It's really difficult to find someone to date In the first place 😕

[@user-zt3dv5cl4b]

I was laughing so hard at that "compliments me" joke! 🤣 That's amazing though, you guys are a great couple.

[@pmvrodriguezfamily]

2:04, not even half percent of this video and I’m already: “True....she’s right!” 😂🙌🏽

[@ov2444]

I certainly agree with your point of view. Dating must be done with intention. Intention of marriage, chastity, purity, and love. But to say that you shouldn’t date in your high school years because of that is to say that young people can’t date with such intention and strength to keep to those intentions and resist temptations, I think it’s absurd to say such a thing as that. I agree that many young people couldn’t be strong and faithful to those intentions, but the way that you phrased it made it seem like none can, and that is far from the truth.

[@JewelBlueIbanez]

3 dates might be enough for extroverts, but as an introvert, it takes a bit longer.

[@clare_jordin]

JewelBlueIbanez true

[@GeorgePenton-np9rh]

I'm sure she meant three dates as a general guideline, not a hard and fast rule. People are different and situations are different, as you implicitly pointed out.

[@johnspinelli9396]

Im an intovert too, its hard

[@sirjaime4258]

This will help me when I start dating 👩🏼 in South America or Mexico 🇲🇽 it’s just getting harder here in America my friend married a beautiful filipina in Manila they been together for 10 years with 3 beautiful kids happy wife happy life married by the church I’m sure they have there problems we all do but it shows that she is humble and loves her man accepted him AS IS man he is blessed

[@bethanyhenderson8686]

I loved this video! I’m a single mom, was married young, but now it’s like uhhhh I don’t know how to do this!! It’s been 10+ years! Lol so this was super helpful! Thank you!

[@bethanyhenderson8686]

Hahaha nope not having a hard time at all! Turns out real men aren’t scared away by children.

[@Chaos3000and3]

I'm a seminarian and I learned a lot from this.

[@marcussfebruary9104]

May God bless you in you're endeavor to follow him closely! ❤️

[@lala-no6hn]

I really admire people like you. The rest of us dont have enough strengh to dedicate our life to God but you, nuns and priest do. God bless you 😊 be brave an count with my prayers

[@CharlotteRuth]

Very good video. I've seen The Dating Project 2 or 3 times. Plus I've met Jackie in person because of a retreat that was happening and she was the keynote speaker. She even signed my book that she and Bobby wrote.

[@rmmusic33]

Great video. Really interesting point on calling it a “date.” Also, it would be nice if girls asked guys out more often, haha. Dating is difficult. It’s our cross to bear, and the difficulties will make success that much sweeter. As St. John Paul II said, through our suffering, we complete Christ’s work

[@kdmdlo]

I agree with Jackie and, to some degree, disagree. Yes, a part of dating is to determine if person X is the person you're called to marry. But that's not all it is. Dating is also a way to determine what you like and dislike in a potential spouse. God plants desires in us (what kind of person we want to spend our life with) and it's worth finding out specifically what those desires are. You do that by dating. I dated periodically in high school (a long, long time ago) - it was all very, very innocent. And it was great. I have great memories of those girls and of those times. But, importantly, I also recognized things that I very much liked and very much didn't like. And that matters. Again, God placed those preferences in my heart. So it's valuable to get to know these things. That having been said, I absolutely see the massive potential for occasions of sin; so one should be careful. Also, when I dated in high school, I would talk to my Dad about the girls I dated and we had some exceedingly helpful conversations; I was fortunate to have a good Father that took an active role in directing me. If I didn't start dating until after I went to college, I probably wouldn't have had his sage advice and I would have made all kinds of horrible mistakes.

[@OnkelJajusBahn]

Glad I am not the only one who found that video a bit weird, also the 90 minutes dating rule is just unnescessary, why this limit.

[@jonnygray43]

Perfectly said. This video was terrible advice sadly

[@Allzumenschliches44]

The right video for the right time in my life. God bless you, Jackie!

[@MissaLifeStyle]

All good advice. The only thing I would add as a person who has been married almost 19 years, is finding someone young is ok. I almost think it’s harder to find someone when you are older because a lot of ppl are already with someone else. You end up growing with your significant other which is a good thing.

[@jameskrten1164]

I think it helps to be friends before being in a relationship first. I'm with someone now that I haven't seen in almost a decade since college. I believe I'm with the love of my life. Discerning hard whether that is the will of God but so far the signs are encouraging.

[@emmib1388]

and not getting physically involved with the person helps you think a little more clearer :-) All the best to you !

[@madalinaherdes5478]

I totally love you for the perspective you give to young people about how we should treat the other in a relationship. You changed the way I was seeing a relationship and give me strenght to pray for a good husband and to belive that somewhere in this world he exists! Thank you, God bless you and your beautiful family!❤🙏🥰

[@androidmarketqq]

Thank you Jackie for making this video!! Please make a video on what to discuss when on a date.

[@troyboothroyd2271]

I mostly agree with this and that was the first conclusion I came to when I thought of when I should date, I thought that the was almost no way I did marry, but I will say that once you get your first job you are probably responsible enough to start dating, also there is some value to dating people for experience as long as they aren't obviously not spouse content, you marry get lucky and get a modest girl, and modest girls are going quickly and there's no trend to suggest they're restocking anytime soon, you may have to act fast

[@pakilee87]

I was 25 when I had my first relationship. I'm 33 now and still single for exactly this reason. I want to date but it's so hard to find guys, especially now who are looking to date with a goal of marriage. Most guys don't want a relationship and are just looking for something casual. Even the "catholic" guys. It seems so hopless sometimes. I've kinda given up.

[@fionakoco2526]

Our current dating culture encourages treating each other as disposable. I agree, dating with a purpose (marriage) is the most important aspect. Every woman I know who waited until 20s to date and only dated guys who could be a potential husband, they met the right man quiet fast. For example, my close friend (muslim), met a guy and she was sure he could potentially be her husband (otherwise she wouldn't have gone on a date with him). They introduced each other to their friends and family and they got engaged. All this happened within 6 months and they only kissed between this time. They got married at 24. Now she's been married for 8 years, and they have two children.

[@grunt12394]

I love you Jackie, but I feel like when Catholic speakers say to men "just ask her out on a date" ( which is 100% true for most men), but what if a guy who feels a divine call to marriage has extreme social anxiety that is diagnosed? or Autism? Which, even though I am discerning a religious vocation is something that afflicts not only me but many young men psychologically speaking. What would your guys response be?

[@23muffin]

Go approach 50 women in your city and ask for their number. You will get desensitized to rejection which decreases anxiety and will make you more confident.

[@justinwright3326]

I disagree just a little bit. I am going into sophomore year and am in a relationship with someone who I genuinely care about a lot. I'm obviously too young to think about marriage but I dont understand what is wrong with expressing true feelings with someone without really thinking i could marry them. I am practicing catholic and I have great parents keeping me in good boundaries. I feel that there is nothing wrong with dating in high school as long as there are proper boundaries

[@kdmdlo]

Listen to your parents and be prudent.

[@GeorgePenton-np9rh]

If you can have a steady relationship at that young of an age and a chaste relationship, maybe it's okay, but wouldn't you agree that for most people (especially us guys) a long but nonsexual relationship isn't going to happen, and that as a general rule people shouldn't date until ready for marriage?

[@michelledax4083]

It's all fun and games until someone gets pregnant. Birth control isn't fool proof because of so many different reasons. Also, you may miss out on meeting other potential partners or someone will get their heart broken if that continues. If you care that much about each other, you will respect that if you are not planning on marriage, then it takes away from someone else's.

[@user-ch2hl4er6s]

Are you still together? Update please!

[@justinwright3326]

@@user-ch2hl4er6s yerp!

[@christinezimmer6887]

Gen X'rs wish we would have this kind of guidance in the 90's!! God bless you all and pray for those who are only hearing this now in our 40's and 50's.

[@wolf4811]

Honestly I am really opposed to dating at this point in my life because it only brings stress and sin into my life, and I think the reason why IS because I’m not looking for marriage at this point, so any dating that I do is really selfish and largely based on lust.

[@michaelflynn2927]

Through christ you have been set free and you have the potential to save the lives of many young men and women. God bless you dearly

[@michelledax4083]

Read: Song of Songs(King Solomon), Bible. It's about 2 lovers, so beautiful.

[@gwenhoang4018]

My daughter is in college. She’s dating someone right now. And it ages my heart because I came back to God and I’m taking my faith very seriously now. I know it’s my fault as I didn’t raise her according to God’s teaching . I’m praying for them both. Please pray for them. Thank you.

[@OnkelJajusBahn]

What's wrong with your daughter dating someone? Somehow she gotta get to know a future husband.

[@user-ck5pc3vh5n]

@@OnkelJajusBahn Promiscuousness is not something that he/she is proud of, and the Faith forbids any carnal activity until one is married, and even with that, prevents anything unnatural except regular intercourse.

[@sophiebell8941]

Jackie, great video, BUT... yes there’s a but. I disagree with asking the guy on a date. And definitely I am not paying for the date either, as a woman. There is something that makes this whole thing unromantic. Trust me, I have dated around 50 different guys when I was single. If a guy is not asking a woman for a date, best for the woman to move on. I am now happily married to an incredible wonderful man. We have 2 children. After more than a decade of marriage, My husband still opens doors for me and is the most romantic man, even when there’s no special occasion. My secret weapon is St. Joseph. I have always asked him for the best husband.

[@bevanchikoski3679]

DTR! OHMYGOODNESS! I haven't heard that in so long! I've been with my husband for 2 years now and I don't miss those DTRs moments that happened before him. I wish I was more exposed to this point of view when I was younger!

[@fridahill6813]

“If you’re not ready to get married, then don’t date.” What an icon

[@Zer0Xenon]

“Who ever asks has to pay for the date” No, the man should always, always, always pay for the first date. Men are meant to lead and guide their wife/lover Buy paying he is ‘leading’ in a way. Asking and paying for the first date is fundamentally masculine and will only make the date worse because of the role reversal.

[@kdmdlo]

This may be the norm in the US but it is not the norm in Europe.

[@piperat6624]

Just did a project in school and we had to write a paper on if we agree with the video. My class was filled with lots of "why's". most people said it is wrong to say yes to date if you have no interest in the person and that you shouldn't be going on tons of dates with multiple people. some of the videos points are right some I believe are wrong.

[@michellemailloux2483]

Men are the pursuers and they should ask the girl out, not the other way around. The man initiates (imitating God the Father as the Lover), the woman receives (imitating Christ as the Beloved) - children - if they come due to marriage - represent the love between the two (Holy Spirit). With that said, a girl can show interest in a guy. Hopefully the man will pick up on the queues and ask the woman out. I personally want the man to pursue and lead and I believe if a man is truly interested in a woman, he will stop at nothing to ask her out.

[@angelrogo]

No, that's not how the world works. Love is equally felt from a man to a woman and from a woman to a man. Women are not slaves waiting to be chosen by their masters. Have you ever wondered what would happen with us, the extremely shy men? Do we deserve to never be loved?

[@anastasiawasylinko5482]

Great video! I've never been asked out on a date before, but now I know what to do! Thank you so much!

[@kdmdlo]

I have asked this once before and have not gotten an answer; and I can't ask a question on their website because there is nowhere to leave a question. So I'm here to ask: What training has Mrs. Angel received to qualify her to dispense her advice/opinions? She speaks very assuredly and acts as though she's got the full weight of the Church behind her opinion when, at least to my knowledge, she does not. For example, she says this video is about "how to date the right way." Or, "if you're not ready to get married, you shouldn't be dating." Really? That's just your opinion. It seems to me that it is the parents' responsibility to guide their kids ... not Mrs. Angel's.

[@kdmdlo]

@tony So you go from agreeing to my point and then use it as a means to launch into a mentally muddled scree (using all the usual canards against Christ's Church). That is ... not to put too fine a point on it ... but a little unhinged.

[@caribaez5711]

also mention how to be a virtuous woman. a woman of the Lord who acts with humility and compassion.

[@sareebarsoum711]

What do you think about those who get married at a younger age? (early to mid 20s)

[@johncbradicich3069]

It's perfectly fine.

[@erinmeyer1749]

I got married at 23. Still married at 32 with 3 kids.

[@t.j.armendariz354]

Two things to note, (I am a guy): 1) Girls, this may just be me, but I would prefer to be the one to ask you out, it isn’t anything against you, I just don’t think you should have to bear the burden of rejection if he says no. That said, I don’t have an issue with you subtly (or not-so-subtly) indicating you would like a guy to ask you out, including providing the “perfect” opportunity and if necessary starting a DTR to force his hand a bit (if you are in a wishy-washy relationship already). That said your mileage may vary. 2) Dating in High School isn’t always bad, sometimes it does lead to marriage, and if nothing else can inform you of things to watch out for (good or bad) and if you learn from bad relationships provides the opportunity to better know the types of people who will be bad for you. Ultimately it’s more about intent and perspective, I hope one day we will get back to most people marrying shortly after High School, or soon after college (in good relationships that will last that is).

[@joehouston2833]

Find a Muslim woman then convert her to Christ..

[@jamesmccarthy4777]

Thanks so much for this! I feel a lot more peace of mind when it comes to dating.

[@LouisaWatt]

I was 21 before I dated 👍🏻 it’s a total distraction in high school and I never understood it