Should I Flirt With My Ex? If So, How Do I Flirt With My Ex?

[@Walkingsushisushi]

I got back to my ex bf (current bf) after 4 months. I got broken up by him and I was super hurt. I always thought about him even after he did the most hurtful things to me because I really loved him and I started watching Coach lees videos and I FOLLOWED EXACTLY WHAT HE SAYS in the videos. My bf texted me three times during the break up but I tried not to look pathetic and I tried to look like having a good life but I didn’t act cold to him. He asked me how my life was going or if I had a new bf things like that and I replied to him casually. Also I tried to work on myself to become a better person. I worked out and I studied and I started hanging out with my friends. I tried to look like having a good life to him but I actually tried to have a good life and I did. When I started feeling really happy without him after the breakup he messaged me he still loved me and how he made mistakes. And he told me he wanted to get back together. I got over the breakup but I still knew he was the perfect person to me. And I said yes. And we got back together. We are so much more happier than before we broke up. Thank you so much Coach Lee!!

[@ronschenkelberg8906]

G

[@SwaggyVilla]

CONGRATS!! ❤️✨

[@sumankumari1847]

After how many days he messaged you after the breakup?

[@Walkingsushisushi]

Suman Rjk he texted me thee weeks after he broke up with me. And he would text me about once a month

[@hydeperv]

Wow that’s awesome, congrats! How long have you been back together now?

[@Osoch]

I have been binge watching your videos ever since no contact started to stay strong. We were in no contact for around a month until three days ago when she called me and asked if wanted to go to her place and talk. I ended up staying with her, being real, emotional, laughing, crying, but most importantly talking and recognizing where we went wrong, and we decided to try again. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all your advice, i'm not taking our relationship for granted ever again…

[@chirantanidas5999]

There are many relationship experts in the net, with their own strengths, but the unique thing about you is that you empathize with the whole situation, you understand the deep pain one goes through in a breakup. That really makes you a man of heart. All the best to you coach.

[@ArunSplendor]

that cold face "Oh yeah, best buddies" got me totally

[@DNATruLyricist]

I think u deserve a snickers after this one.. KINGSIZE 🤣🤣🤣

[@RealCoachLee]

For sure!

[@stacym2201]

😃😃😃

[@firstborn2576]

My ex has been initiating contact almost everyday now for about 2 weeks. Last night I decided to flirt by bringing up a romantic memory. He came in full force and mentioned having sex. I laughed it off and told him that we aren't ready for that "yet". He agreed and we kept laughing about it. I got nervous at first because I thought that I may have came on too strong and scared him off. So of course I came here for insight. Now I feel like I made a good move and showed strength at the same time. Thank you so much coach. I love it here.

[@lizxu322]

Don't give in too easily...he needs to want you back for a relationship, not a fwb situation. Make him work for it

[@007stinkey]

Are you guys together now

[@KrizXGirl]

Thank you, Coach Lee! I think this video helped me to move one huge step closer to my ex. We broke up a bit over 2 months ago and I went to NC, but he has reached out to me a lot during the 2 month period and I did several mistakes, showing how sad I am and so forth, but last weekend, it was the first time where we actually spent together like 3-4 hours and laughed our butts off, like on our first dates. He is a kite surfer and last weekend he called me and said the wind is good and he would like to go, but maybe I would like to come along to help him with the kite, keep an eye on him and hang out with our dog. While I was driving to the beach, I listened to this video. And the day was amazing! I centered my newly-found self confidence, optimism and playfulness on the beach, I danced around with my dog while he was surfing, I listened to good music, ran in waves barefoot and enjoyed the view of him on the sea. When he came back to the shore, we sat together, we laughed a lot, talked about fun stuff, we had a deep eye contact and smiled a lot, no negativity, no talk about feelings or relationship issues. I even went semi-skinny dipping which made his jaw drop, saying "Wow, that bravery, amazing!" I complimented his skills on waves, we played with our dog and later when I helped him to pack his things, he thanked me sincerely for coming along, his smile was warm, and I touched his arm lightly and thanked him for inviting, as I had such a great time. We drove by the store and he bought me ice cream and cider to show his thanks and later wrote me online once more that he is really grateful that I came. And a day later, he said that wind is good again on Wednesday, if I am interested. Fingers crossed :).

[@kenbear9290]

Update? What is he waiting for

[@christinewatson1989]

Yesss! This is EXACTLY the video I needed. My ex started contacting/wanting to see me and I made the mistake of acting neutral, like a friend. This caused me to be "friendzoned" and need to start the NC process all over again. It feels like a huge risk to flirt but it's not a mistake I'll make again. Great video, great info.

[@IrishCassidy]

Good Luck!!!! At least they are showing interest! That's a Good sign!

[@evelien6901]

Update ??

[@None_of_your_business666]

If you understand the logic of no contact and they reach out, then you know they are still attached and attracted. If you don't make it flirtatious the re kindling will never happen. But you have to be calibrated, not flirting is just as terrible as flirting too strong. They'll be repelled. Assume they still like you and work it up from there. But the most important thing of no contact and them reaching out, is that you have to be on a point where you can either flirt and take them back or move on without feeling any hatred. If you're at that point then you learnt the lesson. Thanks for all this content Lee. My girl never came back, but i moved on, met new girls and some of them have come back. I dont need them or anyone. I am enough company for my self, and they are welcome to come for a ride, or leave. I am fine either way.

[@None_of_your_business666]

The issue is, I guess, what to expect from no contact when the breakup was undefined. A horrible fight followed by no more contact from both sides.

[@TanzaniteHayley]

I think I’m in the flirty stage. It took him a looooong time to even put an exclamation mark in a convo and now it’s inside jokes, lengthy convos, emoji’s and ‘remember this...’. I’m just waiting for him to turn round and tell me he’s got a new GF lol.

[@DamaniJones]

Did he have a GF?

[@joshp146]

How long?

[@Hannah2265]

I love your advice. I'm in the flirty stage, however all I really wanted was to see signs that he still loves me.

[@miilkywayy4064]

Thank you so much for the amazing advice, you’ve helped me get through my breakup, and now my ex is slowly coming back to me again. ❤️ couldn’t have done it without these videos

[@cynthiak2986]

Hello Coach Lee. 3rd time leaving comment here. Thank you so much. I got him back. I was very restricted to your suggestions in the beginning but in the end I was planning to screw up everything because I did not want him anymore. Then things changed. He started chasing me. This time it is him driving to me, hugging and kissing me, giving me message, bringing me drinks, making me meals and washing dishes. I would not believe it if you told me 3 months earlier! Now we are in the stage of "acting like couple without a label". I am very OK with it. Even if there is no label back, my mental condition is healthy enough to say "OK. This is not I want. Bye." I am suprised with all my change and growth. You are really amazing!

[@verrrr1]

I think the only way to get over your ex is to delete them off everything and never contact them ever again

[@bnlly3]

When she reached to me, I did keep it short about the kids yet she kept wanting to know how things were and responded politely yet flirty. I think she's curious, thanks coach.

[@jaynefernandez483]

Hello King Coach Lee, honestly done everything you’ve said, I flirted like it was nobody’s business. Everything you’ve said it truly works. Ohmylanta King Coach you are looking so handsome, the hair and the color blue , perfection. Driving home from work (hospital) rough day but seeing your notification is a nice ending of the day. Thank you we all appreciate you. Be safe . 🥰

[@Honey-vq9dl]

10 days in no contact Staying strong and hoping he will reach out soon 🙏

[@annikajohnson4188]

Did he ever reach out?

[@Honey-vq9dl]

@@annikajohnson4188 yes he did

[@op6119]

Your videos are really helpful. My ex girlfriend dumped me little over a month ago. It was a 4-year relationship. The relationship was really going well til I messed it up lately. I begged and pleaded. We still talked like friends til I watched your videos. I didn't know what to do because this is the first major break up in my life. I am currently in no contact for a couple days now and it is very hard but I know it will get better. Hopefully everything turns out well. Cheers!

[@evelien6901]

Update?

[@xrenegadetexanx4555]

Hey can you do a video about breaking up over quarantine

[@dahduhhh]

My ex messaged me few days after the 1 month mark, I was so surprised I couldn't think of anything except that "Coach Lee was righhhht!" Lol anyway, I was too awkward and confused and I guess thinking way too much to hold up our conversation. Hope I can apply this when he hits me up again 🤞

[@RealCoachLee]

What inside jokes do you two have? Or romantic memories that can be made humorous?

[@sadiahussain8184]

Coach lee you were my bad days' partner ..you advices are priceless, worked for me when i was upset and hopeless last year..on a lighter note i would say there is no harm in smiling sometime..u look very serious in your every video..wanna see yr smile🙂

[@kms5922]

Nice and improve audio coach.. I hear you loud and clear.. And it works like magic.. Your were right about everything.

[@thisisoneandonlyfaye]

My ex told me he still wants to be friends. He still wants me to stay a part of his life. I know I can’t just be friends with him. Nor do I want to.

[@griffinroberson5599]

Haven’t even watched it all but I can tell it’s gonna be helpful

[@christinewatson1989]

I know right! I literally just got an awesome job offer and I'm honest to god more excited about a new Coach Lee vid.

[@DNATruLyricist]

I'm pretty sure coach lee came out the wome with a poker face on lol... jesus.. I would never play cards with this guy hahahaha

[@wowwee0]

Flirt like you're saying "if you want it, come and get it 😏"

[@anja_6654]

How are you supposed to be playful and fun when you actually are angry about how they treated you since the break up?

[@hope9672]

I went 3 days in a row neutral bcuzi was still very upset,but by the 4th day of him contacting me in a row I texted one winky face... but I believe u gotta just go with ur gut & mix it up a little. I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't even have sent the wink, but I'm more than a friend so I'm not gonna act like I'm less than that but I'm gonna do what feels natural too.

[@yazan9243]

If you’re angry instead of understanding then you don’t deserve them.

[@memekren7879]

What if when you flirt your ex thinks you are still available and he has you, sooo then he is flirting with other people as well

[@ulisesroldan2955]

He said to just act playful. So they don’t know you’re flirting but playful not just flirting and obsessed with them

[@dwightschrute8141]

Update??

[@toms81162]

So....After a month of ghosting she finally contacted me to ask if she can bring my stuff to me. At first it was just leave my car opened and she will leave it there. Made the excuse I would be working. Then she said do you want to come up this Sunday or I can bring it to you. I told her, again no. Why? Five people at my job was sick this week, and actually went came to work. So it was a precaution more than an excuse. Strangely she didnt ask for her key, couldve forgot, will get it when I get my stuff, who knows? Maybe she changed the lock. So going back to the text. She said she was glad I was well, and me to her. Basically it was just a conversation. However, when she said her last sentence I waited awhile then texted her again saying I hope your job is providing masks gloves and sanitizer. About an half hour she responded. Coach, I think your suggestions are working!!

[@lifeinshorts]

Coach lee 🤝.. It’s need a balls of steel to walk away from the person you love the most.. I think respect is more important.. respect should be little more then love..by the way Life is very long it’s better to focus on ourselves .. 👍🏻

[@DNikos7]

My ex started texting me, once a week two months ago.She dumped me last October.I went partial NC-same workplace,bumping into each other twice-thrice per week. Last month, before the quarantine, she texted me " good morning, get up and dress, lets go for a coffee".We met., had that coffee, I was as cool as I could be, she was obviously stressed. Exactly at midnight, 00:00 am , April 1st,my birthday, she texts me.I decided not to read it immediately, and waited for next morning saying " happy birthday bla bla bla, take care, I LOVE YOU". I replied " thanks a lot".I believe it is obvious she is considering getting back with me. NC works, but in a certain way : helping you to move on, enjoy life, concentrate on other things,and if she finds your new ways attractive, she 'll follow.

[@ryanminor2334]

My ex has broken no contact, but she’s still with someone else. She’s seeing the new guy for 2 months. She reached out after 37 days of NC. I’ve been matching the energy of the conversation. Then Ive been backing away back into NC. I’m just waiting for her to say “I miss you”. She’s been doing this on Snapchat. I’m just going to keep focusing on myself and let her come to me until then.

[@ericau9971]

I typically am the one who waits for my ex to reach out or call because I don’t want to seem “desperate” so I allow him to make the moves. My question is, when is it acceptable to be the one to reach out and initiate the conversation?

[@SavAJ23]

Liking the new hair coach!

[@johnwisneski2758]

Coach Lee, My ex broke things off with me back at the end of October. After I made some mistakes like trying to talk her into staying and crying to her I went into no contact. After I went into no contact around Christmas she won't go three weeks without texting me to see how I am and will also flirt with me from time to time. I do flirt back and she will respond very positively but even if I drop hints I want to see her she doesn't take the bate. I tried so hard when it first happened to see her I just don't want to say let's get together. I never reach out first and haven't since Christmas time either. Then just last week she told me a song she always listens to reminds her of us and sent it to me listen to it. It was very romantic and loving. Should I start reaching out to her instead of always making her reach out to me? After all my crying to her at the beginning plus my begging i don't want to have her think im weak again. I really enjoy all your videos. They are wonderful. Thank you.

[@hill600]

Coach lee says “do not break no contact.. ever!” Don’t initiate contact. They broke up with you. Let them work and come back to you

[@conniewilbourn8221]

We are talking again....question. If he calls me “sweetheart”, etc., is it ok to reciprocate or just call him by his first name?

[@RealCoachLee]

Just first name for now.

[@wyattandwill12]

Watch out about no contact and HOW YOU START IT and if it might make her mad/think you're being rude, or that you don't care anymore. I left her on read twice to start and now she's mad at me for ghosting her, which is the term she did use herself. Sometimes Dan Bacon is right and it's actually true that they'll think you don't care and move on, but I'm not saying that it is always a terrible idea. I had a history of being extremely toxic/mean/manipulative and wanting to text throughout the whole day so that contributed to her getting very mad about it. Also be aware of the possibility of your ex hiding that they're mad because mine is doing that as well. I hear from mutual friends she texts when I say something but she acts nice and friendly (although distant and dry but that's not too terrible), so be wary of her acting okay when she's secretly very mad. There's a good chance she won't communicate with you when she's mad about something because she's mad, lost a lot of attraction and you're not a part of your life because they're moving on (I pray it isn't temporary for those who want them back). Blessings to you guys!

[@DNATruLyricist]

Rule #1 ur not suppose to ignore them.

[@wyattandwill12]

@@DNATruLyricist Yeah I needed to grow, let her experience the loss, and stop making the post breakup mistakes but I started no contact in a bad way. I don't know if it would have been a good idea even if I did start it in a better way because of our personal situation.

[@ItsTruthBaby]

@@wyattandwill12 yeah man you give them the breakup. But if they reach out I advise you don't ignore them. Just don't respond so quickly. No contact means you don't initiate the contact.

[@None_of_your_business666]

Do not contact her. When she contacts you be chilled. The whole point is to make her calm down by making her experience what it is like when you're not around. And when she comes to you, you have to be as charming as ever, because you're a rock and she can't push you out of your line.

[@wyattandwill12]

@@None_of_your_business666 Thank you guys. I did almost every toxic behavior to an extreme and she has a new guy (not too sure about labels but they seem to be something), so that adds a lot of difficulty. Her mom also doesn't even want us talking because of everything I did to her but if she was being honest, it wasn't a big deal when her mom caught her multiple times before my no contact period. She left me on read last night after our conversation fizzled out but it doesn't feel like that's the last time we'll ever talk, even if it takes days for her to reach out. My mind is telling me that after my mistake there's a chance she'll stop reaching out but we'll have to see 😊 Her response time has typically been between 30-75 minutes which isn't way too bad. I've started watching mostly Clay Andrews because she probably picks up on the "mind games" and I don't need to be making her mad because she'll be expecting me to do things to be mean.

[@sandrae2319]

One question. What if i was the one that left because of him distancing, being very cold and overall treated me like im last of his priorities? Mind you, ive talked to him about it previously few times and he promised it would change and it just didnt..

[@h07893]

If he begged and pleaded give him a chance ,,, I am in same boat , distanced my women due to night job ,

[@unaivanovska9820]

update?

[@darakhalil7504]

The day after she broke up with me I accepted friendship, but then a day afterwards I wrote her “write me when you’re willing to give it shot again, being friends won’t work for me, I wish everything works out well for you” and went into no contact, this was 3 days ago. Was it the right move coach?

[@ManoloPluas]

@@christiankeyes8606 it really worked?

[@cycolburn99]

Close enough. Now do your personal growth.

[@christinewatson1989]

I did almost the exact same thing 2 days ago. Told my ex that friendship wasn't going to work for me (it was a big mistake to even act like a friend to begin with!) and to reach out if he had a change of heart. Best of luck to you. Hope it works!

[@ItsTruthBaby]

We all make mistakes. In the future dont accept what you dont want to. Thrres nothing more attractive than meaning what you say and not flip flopping back and forth between descions.

[@SoundsSilver]

@darakhalil7504 Did she ever come back?

[@shivashinh9464]

Again a Great video coach.

[@CiluhStyle1]

This was really soothing and helpful

[@datboi-lr6zl]

my ex and i haven't seen each other in about 5 months i didn't reply to her the last time she texted back in december. we're just now starting to communicate again not by text but in person when we see each other around evey now and then she seems so excited and have good energy when shes around me. she always the one to initiate the conversation. i did everything in the video as far as the flirting i do entertain her as she does the same but i show no sign of me wanting to get back together nor do i talk about relationships. my birthday is coming up in 3 days and she always been asking me what im doing but since we're on lockdown i said quarantine and chill. i asked if she wanted to be my partner as a joke and she agreed. but she works all day on my birthday so she told me to come over her house on thursday to take a nap with her . she still watches my social media and always brings up my female friends. asking if they're my gf or if im seeing anyone. im not ready to be in a relationship not with my ex or any other girl. im just not ready. she's acknowledged that she's noticed that ive changed in positive ways. ive honestly been doing much better since ive been in no contact. at first i was depressed but now ive learned that even the strongest feelings could die when you've been ignored, rejected, and abandoned. i have no hard feelings with her i still love her but not in love with her. if im being honest even if she told me at this very moment that she wants to get back together i'll say no. ive went months crying begging etc. her sister always texts me when im coming over and if im ever considered talking to my ex again and get back together i always reply with she happy now. her mom texts me to come over for dinner and ask when im coming to visit. my ex still has everything up in her room of the things i've gave her throughout our 4 year relationship. but she always posting about her current boyfriend and saying how much she loves him and pictures of them together. ( she never posted a picture of me on her social media through our relationship) im confused about the situation if she just seeing if she can still get me back whenever she wants or if she doesn't want me to be out of her life i've asked my friends for their opinion positive and negative im open minded so i like hearing you guys honest feedback. i dont know if im just overthinking it.

[@danmcgill8485]

Hey guys/Coach Lee, I'm kind of new to this whole thing, so I'm going to try my best and summarize my situation to all of you and would appreciate some feedback on what to do moving forward.

[@orlandomedina3429]

This is a really good one. Thanks Coach Lee.

[@cosmicbrambleclawv2]

Thank you for this Coach Lee, I was wondering this very question the other day Its day 21 of no contact and it's very lousy on my end but I have hope that it'll work out and faith in your experience Biggest worry now aside from her doing me like another person I'm in no contact with (for a year now) is her getting together with her charming British friend that she seems to be infatuated with :/ (it's been 4 years since we last dated, so I wouldn't say it's a rebound)

[@JC-xz2gv]

Coach could you do a video on what to do if the reason for break up is depression. Does no contact still work and is depression an excuse or a valid reason. Many thanks .

[@RealCoachLee]

No contact is still the way to go. Again, it's all about attraction and motivation on their part.

[@JC-xz2gv]

Coach Lee thanks a lot I was doubting my self. Much love from Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[@StepOver420]

@@RealCoachLee hey coach, i removed my ex and her friends from all social media for NC. was this the wrong move?

[@TrinityPowers24]

One of the coolest videos on ur channel, coach

[@mrlaventino6497]

Awesome video , Coach Lee !!

[@Taran532]

I binge watched and obsessed over these videos for months. They help you feel better and will better equip you for future relationships. But I would really get in the mindset that there’s a 95% chance you won’t get them back. It’s law of attraction. They won’t ever feel attracted to you again until you’ve moved on and don’t want them anymore, so what’s the point?

[@KaoAsoni]

You're right that is law of attraction.. if you get into the mindset of you won't get them back you absolutely won't get them back. Your reality are your thoughts and feelings. So if you want them back then the right mindset to have is that You WILL get them back and move on knowing that you will. That's law of attraction and assumption.

[@fionawells6766]

Stop with the satanism....

[@laucortes6813]

So my ex broke up with me before the start of quarantine and I applied the no contact rule and now she consistently initiating contact with me and earlier today finally met up with each other and the only problem there is that before we met up with each other she said to me that we're just gonna hang out as friends and I wanted to respect her decision and so I kinda acted like one? But we had a good time tho, I made her laugh we had decent conversations but I wasn't really that flirty to her. Will definitely apply this the next time she asks me to meet up again.

[@mattl1962]

Update?

[@laucortes6813]

@@mattl1962 Holy shit I forgot that I left a comment here a year ago lol, lot's of things has changed since then, I never got back with her again which I also realized is for the better. I met a new girl now and my ex has a new guy as well so yeah that's pretty much it. Life goes on, I'm thankful to all the things that we had, but that chapter of my life with my ex is over. Unto the next one mah bro, so keep your chin held up high!! 🤗

[@mattl1962]

@@laucortes6813 cheers mate

[@mynameischelcee]

Does this work for long distance?

[@Soldiergirl_4]

Coach Lee, although I have binge watched your videos during this blindingly painful time and have been in no contact for 3 months, I ran into him and his new gf on the bike trail. He stared at me with a very serious but sad look while waving. I waved back. Ran into him again while he was standing on side of the bike trail alone, looking down at his cell. As I approached I wasn’t sure what to do. I remembered you said be yourself but neutral. I Did not want to ignore completely so as I continued to bike past him I said, hey there and kept traveling. He said hey, back. Of course, I restrained from being playful as usual...like my bike is faster than your bike, but felt that was flirty and did not want to be disrespectful to his new gf who was not around. Now I’m wondering if I should have completely ignored. Please help!

[@Soldiergirl_4]

@@preciouspretty1843 thank you! Message ex?? No way! Coach Lee always instructs us to play it cool. Communication has to come from him. That feels exactly right! Still in no contact Since December 1. He recently stopped me on the trail and said hi..we talked a little bit. He was heading in the other direction but changed course and followed me to the trail head where I departed from him to go off in my own direction. Surprised him that I did not follow him to his truck. I was largely non-emotional. He updated me on all the things going on his life. Actually adorable and gave me some hope. I offered little about my life. Listened more than talked. I just followed my gut and was myself... as Coach Lee instructs. Crazy thing is I’ve done all the right things three months prior to learning about Coach Lee. So nice to hear from an expert like himself that I handled it perfectly. I gave my ex the break up...it’s what he wanted. He said he never wanted to lose contact. I am no ones option! Never pleaded, or begged just wished him well! He responded, goodbye. I did not respond back. I have not seen him with anyone over the last two months so I don’t know what’s going on...if he’s processing or whatever but I’m not making any moves. Of course, hoping and praying he contacts me and comes correct He is def the stubborn, gotta’ be in control at all times military type like my father haha 🙏🏼♥️🙏🏼

[@lilianamarques8242]

So what if they spend time at your home when they "come see the kids"? I end up spending the whole time with my separated husband. I've been positive, happy, but i slow him to talk and don't say much... what the hell do i do?

[@cazdenton]

Please can you give an update of what happened? I'm in a similar scenario with my ex, we have one child and he has to spend some time here when he sees her. Not sure how to act, he's complimentary, I'm acting a little distant and that has him concerned. I just don't know what to do to get my family back

[@vivyanosigwe2595]

It's been 2 months since the break up and at first I was loosing it and always calling and begging him and I decided to step back and let him be but he doesn't stop texting me and I've not even had proper time to be away from him and without him. I'm unable to properly exercise the no contact rule and it's just confusing. I don't know how I'll be able to heal like this and if he will ever be ready to get back with me. It's confusing and I find myself falling for almost every bread crumb offered. I was going to just tell him to give me a little break but I don't want to chase him away so I'll just be patient and wait it out. I'm loosing hope with every minute

[@pepito281scorpion9]

This dude is brilliant

[@MP-wm7jj]

Good video! Does no contact work on quiet people?

[@joshp146]

What if I want her back , but she is breadcrumbing me , but wants to hang out but says she doesn’t know when ?

[@junimarifam]

Coach Lee... love your videos. I just separated from my wife of 16 years and we now live in separate apartments. It has only been two weeks. The first week we stayed at each other’s home one time each and are in contact due to our two kids. When it is not about the kids, I am pretty much in no contact where I have her initiate all of the conversation and do not ignore if and when she has done so. Via text and phone she says stuff like good night, how are you, hope you have good day, did you eat dinner then I answer yes and she says good/im glad, and talk about the bad things with her apartment. We do flirt a bit too but that is pretty much it. No talk about missing me or getting back together. Still early. She does it everyday. Any videos or thoughts on what it could be or where this might go? I am doing the no contact as I would like to get her back.

[@badnivlek]

Found this just in time!

[@walidbouredji5472]

Coach lee I have a question , can I talk about good memories ? Or I'm only going to look like a manipulative ?

[@RealCoachLee]

Avoid that for the most part until they start doing it. The only exception is if it's funny.

[@prashantthakur9329]

Coach Lee what to do if an ex suddenly from nowhere after 5 months of no contact blocks you with some 2-3 non relationship talking interaction 2 from me 1 from her

[@mattgunstream7310]

My ex broke up with me over the phone and said I love you before she hung up. I immediately saw these videos and went into no contact. Since then, she hasn't gone more than four days without reaching out with some kind of casual question. I have made her carry the conversation just like you say. She dumped me 20 days ago. I'm just wondering when I should try and ask to catch-up face to face.

[@sziami09]

Not yet.

[@mattgunstream7310]

@@sziami09 Yes I was thinking I should just keep waiting her out. I guess you just know when the right time is

[@None_of_your_business666]

You can bate her: i will be out for a covid jog at that park at that time. And you go for your run. She knows where you will be, maybe she shows up. And if she doesn't you have your jog, lose some grams and get hotter for the next girl. Win win! *jog : or any other activity you like doing by yourself.

[@DNATruLyricist]

Great video btw

[@WowIndescribable]

When we were together, I always called my ex 'my love'. Like, 'Hello, my love'. If she were to initiate contact and we for example were to have coffee, would it be wrong to say 'Hello, my love' again even though we had been broken up? Is that 'too flirty' or 'too confident' or making too many assumptions?

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Wowindiscribable, I would NOT call her my love when you first meet up with her.

[@bjj5822]

How do I deal with an avoidant style ex? She seems completely unaffected by the breakup. Came to help me move and was really helpful even thought I didn't ask her, and asked to stay long time afterwards, to watch our favorite TV show , play games and have lots of fun and even to go have a walk under the stars until late night, but if I insinuated to do something else like cuddle me she would not accept, and seemed reluctant to hug. After having all the fun I told her she could call me any time but she hasn't reached out to me in a month. I've been doing No-contact all the time. What's going on, does she want me back or not?

[@stevec2392]

She wants to have her cake and eat it too. Don't allow it. I'm currently on round two of NC with a fearful avoidant ex, and they get cold because they numb out and their avoidance kicks in. NC takes longer since it takes them a while before they allow themselves to "feel" it. You might have to go a good 2-3 months depending on avoidance level. Just give it time.

[@cycolburn99]

Avoidants take longer. Maybe 2 months before they feel it.

[@bjj5822]

@@stevec2392 What do you mean by round two? Are there different rounds? With the quarantine going on, and her moving out at the same time its being so hard to keep no-contact. I know she is very bored and probably struggling too, so I don't understand why she is not contacting...

[@stevec2392]

@@bjj5822 I'm just saying with my most recent ex, she's broken up with me a second time since she's a fearful avoidant, and has a lot of trauma she hasn't dealt with. So for me, it's round two of being broken up with. Not rounds or stages for everyone. It's very common for exes to be cold and seemingly uncaring on the way out, and for a while afterwards. Lee has a video on something like why is my ex cruel or mean or something like that. Watch it for understanding.

[@lillydo7713]

Shouldn't you not respond unless they're clear that they want to work things out? Otherwise, you're just giving them a feeling you're still around by picking up their call.

[@RealCoachLee]

No, you’re just not ignoring them. I base this on 20 years of experience and thousands of cases. I’m not just saying what sounds good. Your ex is highly unlikely to just jump in immediately with a message saying they want you back. They almost always ease into it with small talk to see if you’ll even talk to them. Ignoring your ex if you want them back is a GIANT mistake and it’s really an odd thing to do to me but maybe that’s because of all the cases I’ve seen.

[@danielagallego9875]

Hey Coach Lee, I purchased your Emergency Breakup Kit and I'm currently studying the modules. They're helping me cope as I work on myself and attend (online) counseling/therapy. My ex of 6 years got into an official rebound about a month after he broke up with me, and just yesterday was their 6-month mark. By "official" I mean it was announced on Facebook, and I don't know if it happened sooner. Of course I still want him back and want to prepare myself for when he contacts me (if ever). After watching this video, I just wonder about if and when my ex and I get back in touch is it possible that my flirting can scare them away? Am I even allowed to flirt when he still has the rebound relationship? At this point, does he consider this rebound of his to be a real relationship?

[@IrishCassidy]

Just be your natural positive self. Keep busy doing things. even if its gardening, writing, cooking etc. Coach has lots of videos. Some are about rebound. Let your ex miss you, and if he gets in touch, be brief, but polite. By flirting, Coach also means be confident. Exs are like dogs: they smell fear. 🐩

[@yihaw149]

Hi Daniella, this is a late reply but i hope you're not holding on to this guy anymore and found someone much better for you.

[@traviscrank1275]

These always pop on me at the most appropriate time. This one in particular. Been in no contact with exception of civil exchanges RE our child. And that has been very brief. On Halloween night taking our daughter out trick-or-treating we had a moment in the middle of the street, was very mutual, passionate long persistent kiss... but even since, no conversation of substance and back into NC for the time being. The kiss wasn't followed by any enquiries or pleadings or anything since and can't say I have any regret for it. Last time I saw her was just a kind smile. She still must meet me halfway and reach out. It was a one-off and I consider nothing changed. Her heart was throbbing I could feel it through her chest, and so was mine. Still, I wait.

[@wesselkrook6780]

What is the best thing to do or how to react when you come across your ex in a club or on the street? (When we all can go out again)

[@aishaazizi5507]

Hi coach Lee. Thank you so much.

[@Zayngels17]

My ex has mentioned wanting to hangout with me when he wasn’t free that day and is free too now and now that he is free he hasn’t asked again! Still messages me but hasn’t asked I hinted at it but nOPE... will he ask again Coach?

[@DNATruLyricist]

He most likely will.. just keep playing cool, light hearted and playful..

[@traviscrank1275]

Coach Lee is an oracle.

[@Turbinesoundstudios]

My ex broke up with me 3 months ago after 9 years together with two kids. I have been in no contact for 3 weeks now. But I have a question, we have a moneytransfer system here in Denmark, where I transfer childsupport to her, and it has an option to react to a specific transfer with an emoji. She has been reacting with a heart to my transfers for the past 3 months. And I have been reacting also with a heart to her transfers to me in this period. Should I continue with this, or stop it completely in this No contact period? Please advise asap.

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Turbinsound. I suggest you book a Coaching session with Coach Lee or a coach on his staff myexbackcoach.com/book-with-coach-lee/

[@prashantthakur9329]

Coach Lee what does it mean my ex blocked me on whatsapp Instagram Facebook yesterday after 5 months of no contact where she didn't contact and contacted once to tell I was wrong about her new relationship I agreed and ended the conversation next day she replied to one of my status and after I replied to her she didn't contact and here she blocks me on the day I posted nothing

[@Tahir_Ali]

Getting your ex back has no value to your life. Unless they have changed substantially, you will basically go through the same cycle again and it will end up with the same results as before. I went through the cycle twice with my ex. First time for 3 years and second time for about 2 years with a two year break in the middle. Fool me one, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Be strong and move forward. In the wise words of Taylor Swift, “You can tell me when it’s over, if the high was worth the pain”. If you have gone through the pain once why set yourself up for the same, the second time around. The answer is be with someone who wants to be with you. Best wishes to everyone going through this.

[@Briancrunsrunsmart]

So when I message her she will message back but she won't message me first. Should I message her again ? I have see her for 3 weeks as we were doing a races together. We got on well but with what going on I won't see her now until this is over what should I do

[@mcgarland9439]

I’m scared to use my real name cuz I want to go into full no contact with out my ex or friends knowing. I have been watching your videos when ever I feel like contacting them and it helps so much. It sort of gives me hope that I can be my old self and have them fall in love with me again. This is the second time this has happened and this time I’m more confident on getting to be myself than being with her, but being with her would be a huge plus! Thank you for the support and getting me through this dark time!

[@themoonbleu627]

if it’s a guy he will come back if she’s a hot girl she won’t come back .

[@motivate3062]

I bump into my ex quite often because we work at the same place. So my question is, do I use strategic contact or be flirty? 🤔

[@RealCoachLee]

Both. When you see your ex, be casual and polite but flirt when the opportunity presents itself.

[@kathyglass2922]

I am just really curious about the woman who inspired coach lee to start these series.

[@RealCoachLee]

😶

[@yudhamica17]

If my ex contacts me, is it okay and flirty if I call her babe as part of my response? I see this as being upbeat and flirty at the same time and showing her that I'm not mad, which I'm not.

[@anndias752]

Sir, you look great, so sweet. Thank you for your beautiful advice 🙏🙏🙏😇

[@jenniferwilliams493]

Well he found someone a week after we broke up , I had no idea because I went two months contact , we’re in contact now but he says he wants to be in his new relationship.

[@jannlewandowski5540]

Jennifer Williams. Let him go! You can do much better!

[@brandonpero8742]

If your ex reaches out to you after about a week of no contact, and its just texting, would flirting be a good idea that early?

[@evankolar8957]

I’ve been really confused and if I could get some help that would be amazing! I got back in touch with an ex in early March after we broke up 4 months ago (I had to for a school project). I’ve experienced some hot and cold behavior from her though. Some days she will message me and try to have a conversation with me all day. Other days she goes completely cold and she goes away for a few days before coming back. I don’t really know what to do or what this means. Sometimes I started the conversations but I’ve been trying to get her to start then like you said in this video. And she was doing that right before she went cold again. I don’t want this to keep happening and if I there is anything I can do to better my chances of me getting her back then that would be very much appreciated.

[@jamesgarbogarbo7599]

In my case my ex is in a long distance place right now and she will be back here after this quarantine for only 1 week . Im not sure if i will follow what you have said that i will end our face to face meet up in a short period of time bec. Of a kinda thing that i have only 1 week of chance to meet her

[@AdeleMoravcov]

So my ex reached out to me after 3 months... Didnt ask how I was, just assumed Im well and proceeded to talk about how they changing their passwords including Netflix since they saw Im using it, they are letting me know so Im not shocked. - Like what the hell? I cant believe that this is the first thing they tell me after months of NC, not to mention I havent been using it and never would invalidate their privacy, the fact my ex assumes that abt me is awful. Please help should I answer or not? And what if yes?

[@AdeleMoravcov]

@@louiselouise8133 more people told me this, thanks... so basically just getting attention, mad probably that Ive been so quiet

[@mikedavis2399]

My ex told me I'm her favorite ex? No idea what that means?

[@jadehynson797]

Yeah after a week or 2 of no contact we start texting back again then we start flirting each other now But I told him after he ask for a date again is it true or prank 😊😀

[@shivashinh9464]

How can I arrange a meeting with my ex as lockdown is outside.

[@RealCoachLee]

It would probably need to be Facetime or Skype.

[@shivashinh9464]

@@RealCoachLee thanks for the advice Sir.

[@shivashinh9464]

Hey coach I would like you to look at this. Someone is sharing some contact number. I think something is fishy.

[@Sanyaji]

Love this! Thank you Coach Lee! 💕👍

[@randyv6056]

Coach! Yesterday was her bday and I did not reach out, took your advice. She was upset and said she was waiting for me to contact her all day. She wants to come over today and in allowing it, I told her I don't want to be friends which is what she keeps implying, I will try this flirting tactic and update on this post later tonight!

[@RealCoachLee]

Good. And don't apologize for not contacting her on her birthday. She broke up with you. Why would you kiss her ass? She broke up with you but expects you to be wishing her happy birthday? Mighty full of herself she is.

[@randyv6056]

Coach! We have a kid together, trying smart contact btw. We sort of made plans but the day before she mentioned the “friends” word. I denied it and she left crying. That is why I did no contact on her bday. We spoke this evening and I explained friends is off the table. But we can still hang if you understand I don’t wanna be friends. She then said yes but rescheduled tonight for tomorrow! Btw I tried the “yea we’ll be best buds” line and she said “are you being salty?” I said no and I don’t think she got that I was being playful. I really hope I don’t blow this tomorrow!

[@tamaradauz7971]

Great video! Definitely helpful! I wonder when can we book a call for coaching? Really need it. ☹️

[@michaelvega3669]

How about you forget about your ex and get with me 🥰😍 hahah jk you’re really beautiful though xD his lost.

[@tamaradauz7971]

@@michaelvega3669 I already forgot about my ex, but you commenting on my post brought me back here and now I feel nostalgic. Thanks a lot. 😑 lol jk! 😂

[@michaelvega3669]

@@tamaradauz7971 lmaooo 🤣🤣🤣 that’s a good point. Did not think about that before commenting xD I just got dumped from a 8 year relationship and feel like she moved on too quick sucks 😭 here I am lmao. How long did It take you to get over :( I’m on month 1. 🙃

[@tamaradauz7971]

@@michaelvega3669 wow. I’m sorry to hear that. And trust me, nobody moves on that quick even though they looked like they do. Took me months. About 5 months for me. You a military service member?

[@michaelvega3669]

@@tamaradauz7971 just sucks that I was serious about our commitment and taking that next step. If she can’t wait for me then it is for the better to move on sadly. And yes I am :) I was in the Marines and am now joining the Army. I have to do some training that would require me to leave for a few months and she didn’t want to wait 😭🤕

[@satrams]

This actually is good advice

[@gregoryburd1323]

I used your videos and methods to get her to come back. Then she changed her mind and got back with the guy she left me for. Can you do a video on this?

[@ferencmondik31]

"BEST BUDDIES!" HAHAHAHA

[@RealCoachLee]

😁

[@TJB147]

Another great video! What if she responds to flirty compliments with something like "don't, that is just weird lol"

[@RealCoachLee]

I wouldn’t say anything.

[@TJB147]

@@RealCoachLee I see. So she will have time to 'process' that compliment further. She must see the compliment as a good thing though. Perhaps she isn't allowing herself to feel any new attraction.

[@DravenThegloriouscat]

Hey coach, quick question. My ex broke up with me on March 20, and our anniversary was the 19th. I texted her on the 22nd asking how she felt and she immediately told me not good. After that in 2 hours she replied and started being cold/dry but then other times she’d get emotional. We talked until the 2nd of April, and I made the mistake of begging and pleading with her in person (I poured my heart out to her). When we saw in person she walked up to me with her head down and hugged me for almost 5 minutes and then put her head on my chest for another 2(she always told me she felt at home and also safe and secure in my arms). I mistakenly told her I’d stay away until the 19/28 and for her to think about this and in the meantime I’ve been working out and posting positive stuff on social media, and she would see it. I didn’t reach out on the 19th but I did on the 20th. She replied the next day dryly and said she started crying for most of the day when she saw I messaged her(hey how’s it going I wanted to talk with you yesterday but I wanted to gather my thoughts and talk to you today), and to just tell her what I wanted to say because she doesn’t want to cry again all day today. I told her I just wanted to be friends since we know each other inside out(1yr and 3m, plus that was supposed to be a joke too) but she didn’t open the message at all. It’s been 6 days now. I was her longest relationship, and basically the only one where she didn’t get cheated on. She deals with clinical depression and some anxiety issues, and I was there for her when her depression got the best of her. Her mom has also died so that makes the depression worse. She connects her childhood trauma of seeing her father control her mother to me and feels that’s going to be me and her because she told me she wants to “break the cycle”, but I just overreacted to her wanting tattoos, piercings and gauges and when I realized what I did I backed off and made the change to be better and make up for it. My question is, do I try to reach out to her? Also, her sister’s best friend (24) recently broke up with whoever she was with and now is spending a lot of time with my ex. She’s 18, and she was at her place the day she broke up with me. My ex is bisexual, but idk about the friend

[@annerivas1155]

Hello. Too many ups and downs, plus her family grievance.......you need time appart....do no contact for a while....do not reach....let her come to you...and when she contacts you ..you need to stay calm, reserved and do not meet her in person right away......you may respond to her texts or calls in a casual way...... you also need to watch more of Coach Lee's video on no contact.... if you start contacting your ex several times just because she texted you...you will put her back in relief which means that SHE WILL NEVER MISS YOU and for that to happen you need go radio silent...no contact. if you try to stay in her life, she will either not miss you, see you as a friend, or get over you.

[@lisat5666]

“Don’t get a crush on me”

[@luciacanedo6635]

After 1 year my ex boyfriend finally said sorry and that he felt terrible the way he did it ,we were speaking as friends, but something happened today his new girlfriend saw the txt and blocked me from his phone .

[@erictie4301]

Hi Coach Lee, thanks for your video. I would like to ask, during no contact period, I stop texting and calling her for nearly 1 month. She still plays games and watch drama, everything seems very good to her. It means I have no chance to let her get back to my side?