Should We Men Lower our Standards to find a Good Practicing Wife? assim al hakeem JAL

#ASSIMALHAKEEM #JAL #ASKZAD
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𝐀𝐬𝐤 𝐙𝐚𝐝 𝐙𝐨𝐨𝐦 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤 (𝐒𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐠𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐛 & 𝐒𝐮𝐧 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐬𝐫):
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[@ghassanzahran4484]

Dont lower your standards just raise your efforts. I went to omra did dua during tawaf, woke up in middle of night prayed, did lots of sadaqa, finished two masters degrees going to phd etc etc. The Allah sent her to me. Focus on intentions

[@iluvuallah12]

Mashallah brother good for you

[@samadohawkjd4198]

Brother, with all due respect, I don't even have enough money for a Maher, how am I going to be able to go to omra plus finish two Masters' ?

[@ghassanzahran4484]

@@samadohawkjd4198 Seven years ago I was in prison, five years ago I was working as a dishwasher cleaner as I could not get work due to a criminal record. I went back to school and studied like my life depended on it. Previously I scored max 60% in school. I am now the top of my class, I don't score less than 95% in any course. I built my network through students and professors. I receive scholarships, grants, and research work. When I went to Omra, it took me 5 years to save for it, 6 months ago I was broke and things just changed. I outwork anyone at school and work. You have it in you too, I am not special. You just have to turn it on, create a story in your mind of how you want your life to be and just go for it brother.

[@ghassanzahran4484]

@@samadohawkjd4198 Sorry my last response did not go through. If you think negative nothing will happen to you. Allah says in the Quran “ “Call upon Me, I will respond to you.”. (60:70). “And He will provide for him from where not he thinks. And whoever puts his trust upon Allah, then He (is) sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah (will) accomplish His purpose. Indeed, has set Allah for every thing a measure.” (65:3). Seven years ago I spent 2 years in prison, I was released with a criminal record and could not find any work. My only option was to be a cleaner at a restaurant. I decided to go back to school, but with the mindset that my life depended on it. Previously I scored 63% in university while cheating, my life was a mess back then. So now, during my masters, I studied like my life depended on it while I was working full time. I had no idea what I was doing, I almost dropped out but I would message random people on the internet to help me and they would respond. I studied hard, now I am in the top of my class, 96% average. So now, I get scholarships, grants, research jobs, etc. When I was in prison I promised Allah I will do everything for his sake, so now my research focuses on Muslim women and children, all to improve their lives. It took me 5 years to save for Omrah, I prayed and did a dua for marriage and success in career. After 1.5 years I was still single and broke, then everything just changed. To be honest I don’t think I deserve everything that Allah has given me. In terms of Maher, they only asked me for $1000. Her parents love me so much that if I said that I don’t have it, then will be ok with it. My advice is not to give up and stay positive, be the best in everything you do and do it for the sake of Allah. Be patience and you will get everything. Brother I am turning 45 in a month, I waited a long time. I hope I answered all of your questions Asalamu Alaikom

[@d5555]

​@@samadohawkjd4198 obviously you don't have to do the exact same things he did. Put in effort to the best of your abilities and circumstances.

[@theavglifter]

"Life sentence without parole" 😆 May Allah bless our sheikh.

[@TheIgnorantJahil]

Ameen

[@im_095]

The problem with only 1x 30 minute meet is someone who is generally charismatic and social can easily give the illusion of chemistry in those 30 minutes. There needs to be a balance of at least 3-5 meets that are 1-2 hours long in supervised environments. This is a life partner, 30 minutes is crazy to make such a massive decision

[@other7128]

I know! Seems crazy to me! Even when making friends it doesnt work like this! And marriage is a much more serious commitment!

[@rakha9119]

Syeikh here also mentioned about asking around. If you ask enough people i'm sure you can know how someone's character usually is

[@SeeShah2oiiiiooii-ko4uc]

if its in hadith, who are you to say that its problematic

[@SeeShah2oiiiiooii-ko4uc]

@@other7128 if its in hadith, who are you to say that its problematic

[@im_095]

@@SeeShah2oiiiiooii-ko4uc which hadeeth says 1 meet for 30 minutes? Do you research. Sheikh himself has said in other videos you are allowed to have further meetings to assess compatibility, get out of here

[@wawaweewa9159]

A good women will meet your high standards, dont settle, if people cant find a good high standard spouse, then people need to up their self improovement.

[@lbcck2527]

My daughters are adamant not to lower their standards for good or even decent practising husbands. As a father, I fully understand where they are coming from.

[@taimurahmad]

Make sure she is a beauty, queen,rich and highly educated aswell as practicing(niqab and gloves is the minimim,5 prayers).. Also shr musy be willing to be a second,third fourth wife....

[@lbcck2527]

@@taimurahmad Men like that are completely off our consideration. Educate my son that he will have to take care of his sisters in my absence. He too understands about his imminent & inevitable responsibilities judging from his own peers.

[@Therebelliousprince001]

Are your daughters on SM? I hope not because SM will delude them into having unrealistic standards(which are designed to keep them single and vulnerable)​@@lbcck2527

[@purplelove3666]

​@@taimurahmadOh be quiet .

[@taimurahmad]

@@purplelove3666 Never talked to you. Don't talk to non mahrams unneccesarily to start debates.

[@theHamster624]

As Salaam Allaykum. Sisters, please be modest and do not lower your standards! Avoid free mixing! This is one of the biggest thing that a man can see that pushes him away from someone (when they engage openly with men and are flirtatious)

[@user-hl1ni7hg2e]

What does mean of don't lower your standard? What you want?

[@anisamahmood2543]

Absolutely nothing wrong with being dark!!Allahumabarik, my black muslim brothers and beautiful and dont age😂

[@H0A0B123]

@@hippityhopp4227 I think he's just giving an example of what someone might ask for. He even said I don't want her to have Japanese eyes like mine.

[@Patience2dream]

Yes! Prophet Moses pbuh was dark skinned and Bilal ra was too! “an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab except in terms of piety” This is what we need to remember when looking for a spouse. The best will be of good piety, and Allah knows best.

[@sreviews6397]

What a silly video title! The highest standard in a spouse is a sincerely practising one! everything else would be a bonus. We should focus on being a sunnah male and sunnah female forget all these other labels such as high value man/woman, alpha male etc

[@o_-970]

Too much munaafiqeen and munaafiqaat nowadays. They even hijacked islamic scholarship and universities

[@CGetRight]

“I don’t want her to be dark” Sheikh be careful - please don’t paint our community and our religion as Arab centric. Hundreds of millions of Muslims married “dark”. If your daughter was “dark” I doubt u would make such a comment.

[@ulama7828]

Arab racism is alive and well.

[@afj2010]

He gave it as an example, he even made fun of himself

[@SilentWayFarer1]

he was giving an example, and not putting those features down

[@CGetRight]

@@SilentWayFarer1 why is never “too white” used as an example hmm?

[@SilentWayFarer1]

@@CGetRight just because you haven't heard it, doesn't mean it isn't. I was looking for an African American girl specifically when I was looking to get married. and no Im not black

[@hippityhopp4227]

From what I can gather, the question is: "Should Muslim men looking to marry overlook an unattractive woman's features if she is religious?" The answer is to "leave their mother to pick a woman for them". ?????

[@ulama7828]

The real answer is to just chill/go with the flow and let Allah choose your spouse for you. Let it be a ramdomization and don't say any physical standard to your parents at all. And stop comparing to other peoples.

[@user-zk4bq4lo1v]

Hi I just recently came to know that reading of transliteration is not allowed. I wear hearing aids which means I cant hear the Quran unless there is the subtitles below to it and I have reading and learning difficulties and I struggle to read Arabic, I have learned by a qari called Asma huda and she makes surah vids with Arabic , English and transliteration attached to it and this helps a lot. I have learned 20 surahs by this using transliteration and listening carefully to the best of my ability. Does this mean those 20 surahs are invalidated because I used transliteration aswell as hearing the surah at the same time?

[@muhammadarsallanshahab6760]

No.. you are doing your best and Allah checks the intention so don't worry you are good to go

[@zystraz]

????? where did you hear it is not allowed?

[@user-zk4bq4lo1v]

@@zystraz on another vid of the sheikh

[@ok_e3w]

I really think you should be fine and May Allah forgive us if we are wrong but you are clearly doing your absolute best for the sake of Allah, I pray Allah rewards you for every ounce of effort you put into learning or doing anything for His (Swt) sake.

[@fawziaabdurrahman2251]

Don't lower your standards coz there are women that are looking for your standard. I believe marriage is qadar. We'll all find out predestined spouse bi iznillah taala

[@SahlEbrahim]

He said dark and instantly knew he messed up then he added a stereotype against himself

[@user-qy3fu6ks7c]

I wouldnt Call it messed Up. In what world we would live in when We cant have preferences? But that with His eyes Made me grin lol

[@SahlEbrahim]

@@user-qy3fu6ks7c saying it infront of a black person is definitely messed up.

[@alvirarahman574]

@@SahlEbrahim it's not, we all know preferences made by men. And none of u guys would ever marry dark skinned woman.

[@Cqani1508]

@@SahlEbrahim listen, they were talking about women and every man has a preference. The black brother has full right to say "i want to get married with a black/white woman." Same way he can also say "I don't want to get married with a black/white woman." Sheikh was giving an example; why are you getting offended? To me it doesn't look like you're offended for the brother but actually you're trynna slander the sheikh for no reason. Acting like you're some "know it all"

[@infj5196]

​@@SahlEbrahim not its not. Its normal to have preference. Just like girls always say they dont want short small men.

[@ertugrulghazi334]

Idk if 30 minutes is enough for me to decide a life sentence 😭

[@anisamahmood2543]

He adressed that, it's not a date .

[@ertugrulghazi334]

@anisamahmood2543 Yeah, I'll need a good few 30 minute sessions 😂

[@reazul92]

It worked 40 years ago Sheikh. It is not the same world anymore. Especially us living in the west. Take for example someone who doesnt have a mother or father to go out and look for them etc. then there is racial bias for the parents etc. Its not as simple as you make it out to be sheikh. No disrespect ❤️

[@milly789]

Then how come he always asks women to lower their standards?

[@infj5196]

When did he say that?

[@milly789]

@@infj5196 multiple other videos. I always see clips of them in tiktoks, instagram reels, ect

[@Nino-eo8ey]

Probably because some if not most women have ridiculous and unrealistic standards, like if there are 50 good things about a man but one bad thing about him they wouldn't marry. You might say "Oh, but men do that too", if Shiekh said that then he probably knows there aren't as many men who have these kind of standards as women. How does he know? He does a lot of counseling so it could be safe to assume he knows how both genders think. Furthermore, lots of young women this generation are influenced by the movies and series they watch, so it makes sense they would wanna marry someone who looks like the handsome/rich characters they see in these shows, which explains their unrealistic standards.

[@milly789]

@@Nino-eo8ey bro pretty much every man ive met wants a curvy and skinny girl with no body hair no acne. Both genders can have unrealistic standards, some men also have unreleastic standards. We cant say "most women" after meeting 20 women when theres millions if not billions of women on this planet

[@lk4906]

don't drag a muslim sister in a marriage you don't want just because you value other stuff than practicing like beauty or life skills more. 😅 men just don't understand thats marriage for women is most of the time is a lifetime one and that nobody will look her way if she got divorced or lost her husband nowadays

[@blueflame3531]

Don't marry a non practicing spouse.

[@m.fazlurrahman5854]

Lower Standards to find out a practicing wife? NOPE the prophets are here!!!

[@lk4906]

so they basically value looks over religious practice , that's a joke

[@Mini-14_Attorney_at_Law]

Is Sh. Assim part Japanese?

[@ulama7828]

No, full Indonesian but raised in Saudi Arabia

[@fardeenmahmud8866]

@@ulama7828I always used to think “why does Assim look like he’s East Asian?” now I know why.

[@zystraz]

@@ulama7828 Indonesia used to be part of the Japanese Empire, so yes. They used to even have the same flag. It's the same race, basically. Kinda like how Korea split in two, Indonesia and Japan split in two.

[@infj5196]

​@@zystraz what crap are you smoking? Indons are have nothing to do with Japanese. Indons are dark skin. They are related to Indians.

[@robotnitchka]

@@zystraz Indonesians look completely different to Japanese people tho

[@CFCOG123]

The word standards is confusing. Should be taken out in this convo

[@zystraz]

Just keep in mind guys: marriage isn't decreed for everyone in this Dunya. That's the way it is. Be ready to accept that reality if it so applies to you. As painful as it might feel. Submit to the decree of Allah.

[@cyanstudies]

That's not the kind of mindset towards Allah we're supposed to have at all in Islam. For example, if we want something, we're supposed to never give up on our du'a for it while at the same time trusting that Allah will provide in whichever way is best for us. Not outright just deciding Allah has chosen a specific thing, based on our subjective interpretation. Also, at what point in life does someone know with certainty they will never get married? Even older people can get married. In the dunya, things like that can seem far-fetched, but Allah is so Great that anything is possible for Him to make happen. To just decide Allah has decreed something because you have a certain mindset about something sounds dangerously to me like the sin of knowledge of the unseen. Regardless, our main purpose in life is of course to worship Allah and strive for jannah where we can experience bliss beyond anything here, regardless of whether we achieve our goals in the dunya or not. It's just concerning to me that you are encouraging others to think they can know the unseen, or that Allah's capabilities are limited. I recommend you seek knowledge on the matter of the divine decree and knowledge of the unseen from major scholars.

[@zystraz]

@@cyanstudies Hello? Did I tell you to give up on dua? No? I'm just saying that certain things aren't meant to happen to certain people, and that we just need to accept that possibility.

[@Hacimoto]

But yeah we dont live 40 years ago and there the problems start….

[@SilentWayFarer1]

just because society is now filthy , doesn't mean it isn't possible to still practice deen properly. there will always be people upon sunnah. both male and female. it's guaranteed and how islam is different from all other religions. if YOU strive you to practice deen properly, then inshallah you will find a good woman.

[@lirella]

Why he mentioned dark Indeed a lot of man think this ....but it is not good

[@LimLux]

Political correctness kills, Islamic correctness builds. If you get butthurt by everything(halal things) you need to stop watching Holly/bollywood and get a life. Also too few people get a beating by their parents these days, it makes people think they are smarter and better than they actually are.

[@numairabdin9438]

I have that disgusting affliction too, know any way to get rid of it ?

[@LeroyRenald]

Women mention height a lot do you think that is a good thing?

[@rajairfan2768]

it was only an example. If you want to be all negative about it, why only focusing about the skin color and not the Japanese eyes?

[@jasonsamuel6601]

Similarly how lot of women only want tall men

[@chappievandebuurt5781]

Most important thing is that she takes care of your children and maybe your parents as well. So her deen is what you should look at. Beauty is far from important. Even if she was the most ugly of women. If she is righteous and so much on her deen then you and jennah itself would notice her beauty in the hereafter. If you truly want someone beautiful. Think about your actual life in the hereafter. No make up is gonna match the beauty of the women in jennah.

[@fardeenmahmud8866]

You’re only partially correct. I agree that Deen is far more important than looks but that doesn’t mean a man should marry a woman he’s not attracted to. It is the right of both spouses to be attracted to each other. So one doesn’t have to be a model to look good. Eating clean, working out 3-5 times a week, and proper skin care already makes a woman’s appearance beautiful enough.

[@infj5196]

Muslim men should find girls whom hes attracted to. Marrying someone you're not attracted to will lead to disaster and divorce.

[@fardeenmahmud8866]

@@infj5196 I agree. The Prophet (SAWS) himself permitted men to look at a woman when proposing to her. Think about it this way. I’m going to buy a new car at the dealership. Now, if I don’t know what the car looks like, how do I know what I’m buying?! I’m not comparing women to commodities, don’t get me wrong. But it’s the same dynamic.

[@lexoticstudios5669]

is she leng tho thats all that matters to me

[@786GG]

SO IN MY FAMILY IVE GOT WOMEN WHO HAVE VERY GOOD JOBS AND ARE VERY SMART SCIENTISTS ETC BUT THEY DIDNT SUFFER WITH AFFLICTIONS LIKE ME OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE IM MARYAM SO THAT GOES TO SHOW.. CONSIDERING IM THE SMARTEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD.. THAT WEALTH DOESNT RAISE STATUS ONLY FAITH DOES AND EVERYONE IS EQUAL. BECAUSE MY SCIENTIST COUSIN DOESNT KNOW WITH CONFIDENCE THAT THE EARTH IS NOT FLAT. NONE OF THE SCIENTISTS DO GLOBALLY.

[@taimurahmad]

???????? As sheikh al islaam ibn tamiyya mentions earth is round according to the consensus of scholars

[@johngurvan8279]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@moncefcherif-lj2eq]

based on what ive heard ; women dont want traditional marriege anymore

[@m4z805]

I've been seeing a recurrence lately now that many ar understanding the blessings of an Islamic marriage versus hookup culture and the societal corruption it has caused.

[@SilentWayFarer1]

you're hanging around the wrong crowd. not all women are like what you said

[@mohamednafiz3078]

What is BS?

[@gongkong-oi7qx]

Its BSc

[@Ahmed-ye5sd]

Some places it is knows as BS aswell​@@gongkong-oi7qx

[@shadowstorm5261]

The joke was bull poo

[@sub7se7en]

Bachelors of Science. It's a type of degree.

[@djamel5942]

Saying "not dark" infront of a black person 😬😬😬

[@gems8167]

Lol the cats out the bag. No wonder karens coming to qatar.

[@alvirarahman574]

It's just reality

[@infj5196]

​@@alvirarahman574 is it wrong to have personal preference? I dont feel attracted to desi women. So is it wrong?

[@alvirarahman574]

@@infj5196 where did I say it's a problem?

[@user-cq3gt7uw2f]

The practice is for the men. The masters of their homes. It is sufficient for the wives to be obedient to their masters, a.k.a. husbands.