Should You Ever Break No Contact?

[@dsmith1543]

I did no contact, went to a therapist, and got over a 15 year relationship in just a couple of months. My therapist made me realize that my ex was an extremely toxic person and I was better off without her in my life. And now I’m living my best life and dating someone else who is great.

[@Leaveitalone1382]

I need one.

[@dsmith1543]

@@Leaveitalone1382if you’re talking about the therapist, I highly recommend it. Mine took the time to help me decide if and how I should pursue my ex, but we both seemed to come to the conclusion that I was better off moving on. Many healthcare plans have coverage for mental health.

[@Sunitha001]

Same here!!

[@Cowboy19735]

I think I should do the same. My ex wife of 8+ years used me, left me, and I was her 3rd " Victim Ex- Husband " ! Her own brother told me she is a Very Evil and Selfish Person since High School, she " 53 " now! Most likely looking for Victim # 4! 😳

[@danijelkruselj1855]

I would never broke no contact. Dumper must first approach and apologize and make many efforts to get you back. Never take a ex back if she or he do not invest many efforts to repair things after dumping you. Be strong and look your business and growth

[@dlwilliamson5644]

PREACH!

[@takeshawalbrook8798]

I'm going to go out on a limb and say 'no.'

[@COVENANT_ENFORCER]

If you begged and pleaded for a month or so… in my opinion do not ever break no contact. If you initiate with them sure, they will respect your ability to give space. But you lose so much power by starting the conversation. It’s better to stay permanent no contact.

[@niyatinker]

The last month of my breakup was very close to this. I made the mistake in continuing to urge her to try and improve for our sake and looking back on it, unfortunately even while I was doing it, it just felt like I was talking to a brick wall. She obviously heard me, knew that I wanted it dearly, but to no avail. She left, seemingly already in a new relationship as she did, and I feel like I was completely ignored and neglected. This just happened in the past few days and it makes me think in regards to my plan moving ahead, even with the advice in this video of 3 months passing and chances beginning to dwindle, that I might be in the best position if I never am the one to initiate the conversation. Considering how things were that last month of us being together and even if those chances do in fact dwindle, that might just be something I must be willing to accept.

[@MichielDeRuyterr]

@@niyatinker Give me an update man

[@MIMIDSH]

I did no contact for 3 months, watched everything Coach Lee posted and worked on myself. Then we saw each other at a social event. I was casual and cordial in person, and I reached out (texted) afterward to say it was good to see him. Kept things generic and light, contacting maybe once a month with a funny meme for a few months, then he got flirtatious. Now we're seeing each other again and we're both in a different state of mind. I'm much more relaxed and grounded, and that makes me more appealing to him, so he's more relaxed initiating. VERY thankful I found Coach Lee-I maintained my dignity and mystery by bowing out gracefully. And used that no contact space to make my life better.

[@ismarcus00500]

My own story. Its not YT coaches helping you. Its the love you had already created with them that stills goes on, thats faith, thats the Universe. Dont follow advise via YT videos. Give them space but if you still miss them, love them after say 45 days of NC then send the most simplest of texts. If they are thinking the same way about you, they will reply. I did this, after 4 months apart. Today we are stronger than ever, 5 years on, married with a daughter, life is amazing. If I hadn't of sent that text, then what. Open the mind, follow only your heart and soul, not YT videos!! I only followed my heart and nothing else. Luckily me listening to only me, worked.

[@uncletobsy]

I'm so happy for you. I hope i get this outcome for myself

[@Acoustocity]

​@@ismarcus00500we both love eachother so much , but she broke up with me bcz of her studies and things happened between us... Nothing big,... But it was getting tough for her , i tried to hold her back so many times but today i let her go , bcz she was requesting me so much, what should i do now? 🥺

[@TheOstekaj]

@@ismarcus00500 my heart is saying to reach out now after 38 days of NC but its christmas, you think that have a impact? 3months 2 weeks post breakup btw Update: i broke it, wished her happy christmas and said i hope u are doing good. she responded 30 min after saying she was great and she hoped i was too, and congratulated me with my new job. i responded i was glad to hear she was good and i was aswell, i said thanks and said its going to be good to start again on the job. she like the msg with a heart reaction.. i now know she dosnt love me anymore and it hurts so fucking much, she was my everything and the only person ive ever loved and the only person who made me feel like im okay, the love she game me cant be compared to anything els and im devasted again.. we where together for 4,5 years living together for 4 of them and i had a really good relasionship with her family..

[@Saboramii]

Can we connect about this? Would love to hear your experience and story

[@CoachKen]

Situations are different - details about the relationship and individuals matter. Great video to address a natural question that weighs on your mind in no contact.

[@Vincent_N89]

My ex came back after 6 months. I just want to say thank you for everything Coach Lee; you're the man 👍

[@mahdman3]

What were the circumstances on how your ex came back to you? What did you say or do to nudge them in your direction?

[@zenkpo3635]

how long were you guys together before they came back

[@TheDon6]

@@mahdman3 !

[@Xile179]

Whats ur story?

[@Ossu]

Also was you ex dating or hooking up with other people in between those 6 months?

[@rajtupe0245]

I'm moving on coach lee. If the absence never bothered them my presence was of no value in their life.

[@mrmeigi56]

If your ex is with another person throw that timeline out the window of 90 days etc. Lot's of times it takes way longer for them to come back. My ex is with another guy and got with him a week or two after we broke up and has reached out to me mulitple times already. Staying strong in no contact, focusing on myself and trusting it will work. Don't reach out if you seriously don't have too. Most of the time you want to reach out because it will make you feel good for a minute then you'll regret it. Trust the process. They'll reach out and come back if you improve yourself.

[@niyatinker]

I am in this exact situation and was wondering the same thing regarding what I should do. Things just broke off a few days ago and she already has a new man. I had the feeling the 90 day timeline advice would be different to a situation such as this and reading your comment gives me some reassurance and direction moving forward on what I can do to make the most powerful stance I can make. Even though the journey may be longer because of my partner's rebound, I think that it's possible that one of the best things I can do is putting my head down, focusing on myself, and allowing her walk in the path she chose for herself.

[@Muttey2024]

Forget them and find someone new to talk too. Once a cheater always a cheater

[@canis556]

You will never respect her after she has been with someone else. Move on

[@Cutthroat__]

@@canis556most definitely

[@shandy41709]

​@Muttey2024 why do u have ro be negative. Not everyone wants to move on .

[@zodiac909]

Thanks for all your help and advice Lee. My biggest takeaway from all of your teachings is, not to be upset, and teach yourself to remain calm no matter how much your mind wants you to react and be upset, don't hold grudges nor hate for anyone. Once you adopt this mentality, nothing in this world can really effect you.

[@the_breakup_dude]

Even after 3 months have passed, you should never break no contact. Remember they were ones who decided to break up with you therefore they should contact you if they genuinely miss you and want to rekindle things. Otherwise, carry on with your life as normal and don't give them the power back by breaking no contact. You owe them nothing.

[@ismarcus00500]

Too narrow minded. Live your life, dont follow advise via YT videos man, come on. Give them space but if you still miss them, love them after say 45 days of NC then send the most simplest of texts. If they are thinking the same way about you, they will reply. I did this, after 4 months apart. Today we are stronger than ever, 5 years on, married with a daughter, life is amazing. If I hadn't of sent that text, then what. Open the mind, follow only your heart and soul, not YT videos!!

[@imagegotbeats]

It depends on how the relationship ended to be Honest with you!

[@dlwilliamson5644]

@@imagegotbeats He was a good partner for 8 weeks. A normal Sunday was very good. Tuesday, he sent an awkward somewhat confusing text that ended in "I'm so sorry." I never heard from him again. It has been 30days of immediate NC. Any advice?

[@imagegotbeats]

@@dlwilliamson5644 hmmm sounds like in my opinion someone else could have came in picture but he wasn’t man enough to tell you cuz he didn’t want to hurt your feelings! I would definitely move on for sure my friend! He didn’t have the common decency to have a conversation with you before ending things. He sent a damn text which is low! Think about it!! Who sends a text that says “ I’m so sorry” and just vanish? It’s uncommon!!

[@Xile179]

Ive been watching the break up coaches lately to and honestly no contact doesnt always work, sometimes you just gotta shoot a text and see how things go. Sometimes tho!

[@baggergurl16]

So I have a quote that I found on Facebook (of all places) that I want to share with all of you going through a break up and struggling to find yourself in no contact. It goes like this: When people walk away from you let them go. Your destiny is never tied to someone who leaves you, and it doesn’t mean they are bad people. It just means that their part in your story is over. Pastor T.D. Jakes P.S. I hope everyone can draw strength and inspiration from this quote.

[@itme7297]

Quotes like this sort of makes things worse for me lmao

[@brandonrobertkersjes]

This quote made me sad, lol.

[@thejohannreinshow2497]

​@@brandonrobertkersjes that's just how it really is....

[@azazel3944]

Its up to them to contact you , you guys keep moving forward stop wasting your time .God bless

[@karenhill2174]

I'm 4 months in no contact but I saw them out once and I ask them to meet up but the said no. Now 3 months not heard from them so I think it's over. I have been very heartbroken. I'm so grateful to coach Lee for getting me though this time, you got me though the darkness! Thank you so much!

[@dlwilliamson5644]

I am sorry that you are going through this. You know that you deserve someone who knows your value.

[@Safae_x95]

Listen. To. Coach. Lee. 👏🏽 my ex and I got back into contact after a month of NC. The reason of the breakup was because of severe mistakes I made during the relationship. Therefore I really didn’t expect my ex to come around, since there was a lot of build up anger and hurt. I must tell you, the secret is indeed NO contact and really hard work on yourself. This allowed my ex to be open to listen to me after 5 weeks apart, and learn about the changes I’ve made. We’ve agreed to communicate on friendly terms from now on, since it’s the best way to both work on ourselves and establish a healthy communication from now on. We’re open for what the future brings, but this is all I wanted for now. Coach Lee, I wanted to thank you so much. I listed to your video’s, even to get to sleep. Your soothing voice, your honest and no bs approach kept me calm and realistic and made it able for me to survive another day in NC. Goodluck all with your journeys 🙏🏽

[@doubleJJ01]

I broke no contact after 2 months bcuz I'm tired of waiting anymore, I want to be sure if she's interested or not , I broke it and she seems uninterested and distant, so I wish her goodbye and told her if only she could have distant her herself from other guys b4 , we wouldn't have broken up , bcuz that's the reason for our breakup I feel the pain that she don't want me anymore, but I knew she never wanted me bcuz we broke up 2 months ago , and when people leave you is bcuz they don't want you anymore so it's like a confirmation from my part as I have already completed what's NC needs to work Now I can move on without having to think anymore about her , that she dont want me anymore and it's CONFIRMED. For you all people doing NC , do it for you. Once you feel like you're find you're not watching much breakup videos , that's when u knew it's fine to reach out and CONFIRMED the whole thing. My chapter is closed. I will try to move on now😊 thank you coach Lee for everything

[@theicewolf714]

Never break NC. Been almost a year NC. Her bday was last week. No text or message sent , I know she anticipated if I would reach out. She felt it 💯 my absence from her life. NC works 💯 % meaning NC is not to get your ex back , it's to get you back ! " Its not on you to fix what they broke "

[@brent3611]

Coach Lee; Best hair in the game.

[@JeromeShakur]

Right when i was thinking about this it comes up. Thank you Coach Lee!

[@Sunitha001]

I do not want to reach out at all, Coach. If he had the audacity to leave me and choose another to spend his life with - I am not pathetic to go behind and prove my value. Since he has been with me for 10 years, he should know that already. Since he doesn't, the loss is his and not mine.

[@derekmaestas8949]

I really REALLY hope that No Contact is working for my ex. I’ve got the Emergency Breakup Kit and I’m following it to a T.

[@ian2372]

52 days of no contact. Broke it to say happy birthday because I don't have social media and we were a long distance relationship. She was nice and receptive but after a second text from me a few hours later she never responded. Back into no contact and maybe for good. I miss her every day but I understand the principle of no contact and there's really nothing left for me to say.

[@bushpig2453]

I did the same I wished her happy birthday and she responded but i just left it there. I don’t think we are going to get back together but I still love and miss her❤

[@davidchang5265]

​@lazydaisy4453 bruh you don't even know their exact birthday, please just focus on a new person

[@UniversoSpiritualUnido]

Never text happy bday ever let your silence be loud

[@AnJing-kl9hi]

You undo all the things you have done

[@funkwecker0032]

@@bushpig2453 Did it work out? How are you doing?

[@TheLpxcore]

My grandpa died and 2 weeks later my ex broke up with me. She proceeded to give back all of the gifts we got/made for each other and her jacket from our first date. She was seeing another guy for at least 1-2 months before she broke up with me and tried to gaslight me into saying I was cheating on her while I was at work paying the bills so she could go to school

[@xaiphonphianhavong2936]

Coach Lee my ex is starting to call me, text me, she even invited me to go on a trip with her. We’re not together as couple, but I’m getting the feeling that she’ll be back. Just wanted to say Thank You for your words of wisdom.

[@Xile179]

Keep it cool, make sure to keep things light hearted and friendly with no expectations! Maybe be a little flirty to if it feels right

[@funkwecker0032]

Did she come back finally?

[@xaiphonphianhavong2936]

@@funkwecker0032 not come back but we are hanging out more often. Yesterday night actually i told her i was about to leave, she actually got sad that i was going to. I think it’s just a matter of time now. Just like Coach Lee keeps on saying. She always texts me first now.

[@xaiphonphianhavong2936]

@@funkwecker0032 no. She’s contacting me almost every day now. We’ve had met in person a couple of times. She does things that Coach Lee says when she cares, misses me and all that. I feel like it’s only a matter of time now

[@TheWolfatNight]

I was with my girl for 7 years 🤕 not too happy but these videos make me feel better like I have a plan. Today makes 1 month. We’ll see how it goes.

[@gelgoorx]

I reached out and I'm still devastated, she agreed to meet up with me and when I see her I think I'ma end it

[@imagegotbeats]

It all depends on the significant of the relationship!! If you know that you all had a good relationship but the timing wasn’t right and it’s been a good enough time has passed like 3 to 4 months max!! Then sure you have nothing to loose!! Coach Lee said this!!! If the person is not receptive Then you have to swallow the pill of reality and move on for good.

[@k-dub4607]

I remember him saying this in a previous video but i can’t find it. Do you know the name of the video?

[@imagegotbeats]

@@k-dub4607it’s actually the same title 😂 Should you break no contact!! Neither coach lee should have put a part 2 with it!!

[@ismarcus00500]

Personally. Dont follow advise via YT videos man, come on. Give them space but if you still miss them, love them after say 45 days of NC then send the most simplest of texts. If they are thinking the same way about you, they will reply. I did this, after 4 months apart. Today we are stronger than ever, 5 years on, married with a daughter, life is amazing. If I hadn't of sent that text, then what. Open the mind, follow only your heart and soul, not YT videos!!

[@imagegotbeats]

@@ismarcus00500Im assuming you didn’t see this video at all by your response 🌚! Coach Lee do suggest reaching out to the person after at least 3 to 4 months or longer Me personally I wouldn’t send a text I rather call cuz texting will give the person a chance to think before responding or not respond at all. Coach Lee this guy is a well intelligent coach with 20 years of experience under his belt he knows what he’s talking about ! He’s good for the masses of people that need help during situations like this in relationships!

[@Markdaamannn]

@@ismarcus00500dam bro makes me wonder. I have been broken up with my ex for almost 2 years I been in no contact for 1 year and tbh I always think of her and miss her like crazy. And I always wondered if she thinks of me the same way. I changed my number about 5-6 months ago so idk if she “ever reached out” but it crosses my mind at times if I should reach out or if I shouldn’t. And that scares me deep down I want to then a part of me doesn’t just to think about what if I get a response or hear something I don’t want to? it will just set me back 1 year of no contact and let me tell everyone that was the hardest thing I’ve done and each day hurted like hell and it felt like it lasted eternity!!!! But I think you are right a lot of these people listens to YT videos and when they should really listen to themselves or pray to God about it! But nonetheless I am happy to hear you guys ended up being back together and are married now :) I wish you guys the best! I always hoped I could be telling the same story ☹️

[@life-is-recovery]

I'm on my second round of no contact with a narcissistic parent, this time for going on seven years. Whatever it is, breaking no contact is not worth it. We do have some elderly family members, so I know a funeral interaction is possibly in the near future and I am already rehearsing in my head, mentally practicing "being the (gray) rock" when that happens. P.S. Today's the narc's birthday. I always feel guilty for not sending a card or calling, not that they do anything for any significant day in my life. So, I settle for sending them a good wish for their birthday; just, "I hope they have a nice day" in my head. Then I let it go.

[@Lunaiee]

Trust me guys they always come back. Ex saw me and unfollowed cause she couldnt take it haha

[@johnnycalderon9951]

Broke up oct 26th emailed bck and forth a couple of times talking about how she felt i apologized and accepted her decision this monday then she calls me Monday night asking me for help on something we had done together. I helped yesterday kept it straight to the point. Lets see how this goes. Giving myself until march 1st to level up and just a point of no return with her.

[@GeneralGouda]

So, I feel like the no contact rule works but only if she has genuine feelings for you. If it wasn’t as deep as you think and you mutually split, she may reach out one day but I would focus on bettering yourself and finding someone new in that case.

[@michellethesaiyan]

Honestly don’t even break it. If they check up on you and you think just maybe just maybe they think they want you back they don’t. Ignore them forever.

[@JeromeShakur]

I miss her so much i feel like every day that gets added it gets harder and harder. How can someone that loved you so deeply just dont care about u at all now. 9 and a half years together even still married right now. She was my love of my life my best friends my everything and now she just dumped me because she wants to be young and free? I know its a fall of attraction but my purpose of life and being happy just feels like it was taken from me. I just want to move on and never feel that pain again. She doesn’t know what she’s lost. I forgive her but i hope one day i will be able to forgive me. God help me get through this.

[@patriciaroy5013]

My father passed away last year and my ex fiance knew my father, and he liked him. So after he passed away I tried to contact him through text, and I left a message on his cell phone. I Never heard anything back from him and then finally I got him on the phone, and he was acting like he didn't know it was me. I asked him if he was busy and he said who is this, and I'm like it's Patricia and then he hung up on me. So I have no idea if he got the message that my father passed away. If he did and he acted like that, that's just beyond cruel and disrespectful..

[@leonalaman9772]

You deserve better. The loathe creates some emotionless being. I was in your situation at one time.

[@Americanpatriot-zo2tk]

You know I really do appreciate you coach Lee I think you mean well but with respect sometimes you just can’t make it work now I’m tired of playing games my fiancé’s name was Becky I don’t want anything to do with her ever again

[@marcio8258]

My ex still has access to the camera system inside my home. I figured if I changed the password it would look petty & such so I left it as is. I have been trying my best to stay in no contact. I let things be & just trying to focus on me. She started checking up on me though. Through the camera to get my attention, I think. I caught her twice already & she says she's only checking to see if im okay. She'll text me & I only reply when she reaches out to me. Then I continue with no contact lol Coach Lee, all your advice has been soo helpful lately.

[@Americanpatriot-zo2tk]

I’ve been through this for the last 2 1/2 years with my ex fiancé break up get back together get back together break up etc. etc. I’ve had it I’m done with it I can’t honestly believe I’m saying this but I don’t love Becky anymore I’ve had it with her.

[@shivangigohil4183]

It's been 3 months and have not heard from him, i saw him and he didn't even approached n neither reached out and he looks very happy.

[@adrury65]

Hi coach lee! Im in no contact for 2 weeks, we were together 2 years, it was a good relationship until she lost feelings in the last month. I was unaware until we broke up, then i found out she slept with a guy a few times the week before the breakup. She admitted it after not coming home the day after the breakup. He was on vacation and has left. I blew up at her and told her i never want to see her again, she cried and felt horrible and guilty even after cheating 3 times which is more a choice than accident. she left the next day after i kicked her out and is living in a hostel. I sent a text saying i dont hate her, and we had a good run and i hope for her to be happy. She said the same then i went no contact 2 weeks so far. Heres the rub; i mentioned before i found out about the cheating i might leave the country to go back home and she said she wants to see me before i go. Im leaving next week for thailand and back to the usa next week. Should i ask to meet her for coffee and be calm, polite, and leave things on good terms? Or not tell her im leaving and let her sit with the consequence of never seeing me again? Im on a work visa in Australia and we wouldve had to break up anyway as she will have to go back to her country too once her visa expires. Idk if i will regret not reaching out to see her one last time, or if this will likely re open wounds. Id like to have a mature conversation with her and not be judgemental so we can both get closure. I still care about her but i definitely wouldnt take her back if she asked. What should i do?

[@RealCoachLee]

Just do whatever you want to do if you have no intentions of getting back together.

[@tabwashington9125]

I had a tragedy in I was 4 days no contact I had to reach to my ex about a death in my family. She was supportive back to day 1. I ended the conversation in did not talk about our relationship it felt good that she was supportive I'm back to day 1 but plan on not doing it again.

[@Americanpatriot-zo2tk]

I don’t need any contact from my ex fiancé she told me tonight that she thinks I should take her engagement ring and sell it who in the hell does something like that she doesn’t love me all right she’s gonna be by herself and when she is then she asked for it.

[@furgal1966]

I just did!😱 2.5 months of NC. Just asked for some advice on an upcoming holiday. Kept it very light, and emotion free. Got a positive response immediately. I’m cool with it, just nice to be talking again, even if it’s in the friend zone. I based my decision to do this, on one of Coach Lee’s earlier videos, on the same subject. I still love this woman, but I’m in a much better place now, thanks to NC.

[@dm904]

I hope it will work

[@furgal1966]

It appears the Ex has a new man in her life. Seems to be a recent thing. That’s fine…I have a new lady in my life. Up to date number five, and everything is going well.

[@Synthminator]

"just nice to be talking again, even if it’s in the friend zone" wtf are you doing mate, voluntary emotional waterboarding... get out

[@furgal1966]

@@Synthminator, update. I’m out. Have been for a while now. Emotional waterboarding? Love it!!

[@dmitryisaev5955]

The first time I broke no contact in 3 months. It wend very bad. In a few meetings she started to bluff by canceling the date. So. I had my lesson. Will not repeat it again. Either or… she should reach out.

[@willstaub6581]

It’s been a it’s been almost 4 months now and she still follows me on social media and watches my stories when I post. One month after the break up she was liking my TicTok reposts till I started liking some of hers then she stopped. I was her first healthy relationship and broke up with me out of the blue and said she loved me as a person and we weren’t compatible even though we had been together for 8 months.

[@Entropicalli]

she met someone else

[@willstaub6581]

What makes you say that?

[@uncletobsy]

Keep us updated sir. In the same situation

[@willstaub6581]

@@uncletobsy posted something this weekend about having a fire with my friends and she was one of the first couple of people to see it. So, I’m guessing she’s in the snooping and stalking phase Coach Lee has talked about before

[@uncletobsy]

@@willstaub6581 are you gonna stay strong and maintain NC? What do you do to take your mind off of her?

[@Chriss991000]

She disrespected me, I walked out on her, a week later was her birthday I didn't wish her. Her sister called me to wish her on that day I didn't. She blocked me the following day. I am still in no contact. Am I doing the right thing? She keeps disrespecting me

[@DaveSustain]

Note to self: You don't fix what you didn't break.

[@epicbehavior]

I disagree that after 4 months or so you have “nothing to lose”. That’s not true.

[@lionhearttt3540]

It's true.... to much time passes and people do lose there attachments, 4 months is a long time

[@moodyzebra]

I think I’ve messed up. I had unfollowed/blocked her on social media at the start to clear my head. I felt petty and followed her on IG after 18 days.

[@terezavalencia2908]

I reached out due to pure business and he blocked me😂 shows he isn’t indifferent and isn’t over it. Never blew up his phone at any point.

[@jasonrichardson8012]

It’s been 3 years 8 months only time my ex reaches out is if it’s something for the kids or a job she wants doing but noticed her messing with her clothing in front of me

[@Musicandcrypto]

This was so helpful, thanks! I broke up with my Ex in April and realized i made a huge mistake and tried to get her back over the summer, we had a mini rebound relationship from July to October but afterword's my ex said she wanted space and needs to figure everything out. It took me a minute to accept that she wanted to stop the rebound relationship. Been on hard no contact since Nov 3rd. Her words were :Ideally I would love to have you in my life but I don't know how to make it healthy right now" and she's moving to another city for 3 months starting in January for a gig. I told her I would work on myself until then and we can reconcile one last time when she comes back in March. Just taking it one day at a time and focusing on my mental and physical health.

[@Xile179]

I know its only been a few days but any update?

[@wiktordabrowski1299]

Weak needing energy, if you improve it's for yourself not any other person in your life

[@austenmurphy3545]

I see my ex in the gym a few times a week, initially following the break up I would make an effort to go talk to her, but after a couple weeks it seemed like I was bothering her so I stopped approaching her. After a week of me not approaching her, she came up to me to talk about something trivial, I was polite, but ended the conversation quickly. That was two weeks ago and now she won't hardly even look at me when we pass eachother. Was I too dismissive? Have I pushed her away more by not approaching like mentioned at the start of the video? I've been binge watching your videos since the break up and I wanted to thank you for helping me stay strong with no contact, Im still just confused how to navigate when i see her so often. Should i go back to saying hi? Is it too late for that?

[@DNZS4U]

I think you did fine and you did what’s recommended. She’s sulking a bit because she expected you to keep initiating, but doing it all the time isn’t fair to you. Keep living for you. If you keep seeing her just say hey, and keep moving until she acknowledges you with more kindness and/or initiates.

[@hihi9674]

If you really want to make her miss you, go to a different gym where she no longer sees you on a regular basis. This will really make her wonder about you.

[@ribhuganguly96]

She saw a picture of me with another woman. I am not yet dating her. I was the dumper, but I contacted 15 days later. I wasn't exactly apologetic but I did say that I wanted to go on. I did act crazy. She didn't respond, a few months later she put out a message on the group which she clearly expected me to use to get out of no contact, I did not. But it has been 5 months, her social media posts like 'I leave, I don't argue, talk, I just leave', 'I detach before the breakup to get over it fast' suggest that she is still on relief stage! How is that possible?

[@brianburris]

I went no contact I didn't want her to go because she is a great hard to find type of girl but I didn't like something she was doing that was making issues. So we broke it off and after 3 months I gave up and moved on from it , last night she called me and we met up and ended the meet up with a great kiss. So we will see what happens next.

[@FS02012]

What about a Friend?? My friend and i had a fight so she blocked me on all social media... then we became friends again because of my health scare but she never unblock me from social media, whats strange is she has 800 strangers allowed to follow her on Twitter but not me. So i confronted her and said you still kept me blocked it must be because you don't trust me, like me much, maybe you plan to block me again... then she actually just blocked my number now i am completely blocked. So i don't understand if she will ever be my friend again or if she ever liked me to do this? We are both adults.

[@OlderWomenRock]

I feel I have nothing to Lose right now I strongly doubt He will reach out , it’s been 30 days He moves on easily He tried to leave Me twice so He really wasn’t that into Me

[@G20230]

I am 30s, was in a long distance relationship for 3 months that had really intense feelings moved very fast…talked about getting married, family etc. Her words didn’t line up with actions, she partied a lot, met new guys and even slept with another guy while we were developing our relationship but hadn’t had the exclusive talk…my question is this, she sent me a long break up text, which was overly dramatic and also had some uncertainty in it, basically saying we don’t work as a couple because we’re too different, followed by a link to the song Sam mendes “treat me better” around 8 hours later…I didn’t respond to either of them and now we’ve been no contact for 10 days..she looked at my story a couple days ago but other than that haven’t heard anything. Is the ball in my court to reach out and acknowledge the text or was I right to go no contact right away and I should keep going? Thanks for advice!

[@lazydaisy4453]

I heard today that the worst betrayal is a false intimacy.. It was all fake and false and i was never been loved by him but i still count days and i am still heartbroken.. How can i forget? Any advice on how to forget...

[@BumbleVT]

I wish this came out a week ago cause I did give back some of the gifts that I felt I just had no use for post break up

[@glynnellis5050]

Thank you Coach Lee. Your videos are always substantive…

[@mayar4120]

His birthday is tomorrow, I guess I should stay quiet. 20 year relationship. I think a midlife crisis is involved--he's acting so bizarre. He's drinking again, trying to go to raves alone as a guy in his late 40s, anger issues, he's super impulsive and emotional, he's changing his look, working out constantly, rewriting our entire relationship history (literally can't remember any good times), not sure if there's a third party involved. He moved out 6 weeks ago and we saw each other last week for the first time after I did two weeks NC bc he wanted some stuff. I messed up the first few weeks big time. It was a nice calm talk and he cried and said he missed me, but then went dark again. Debating a birthday text but probably shouldn't huh?

[@RealCoachLee]

I wouldn't reach out on his birthday.

[@mayar4120]

@RealCoachlee Thanks Coach Lee. I've been binging your videos and bought your emergency marriage kit. It feels like an alien has taken over his body though honestly. Is there a different timeline expected if this is a Midlife crisis? I hear they can take years if that is what it is :(

[@paulvanwormerr]

Did I ruin no contact by after the breakup saying “I think it would be best if you reached out to me in the future because I need to work on giving people space and work on myself” (she broke up with me mainly bc I was anxious and she was avoidant; and she felt she couldn’t give me what I need)

[@astha_s016]

Coach for a stubborn ex..should the no contact last for 60 days and more... I am not going to break it ever...but just asking you to get a clarity that it takes more than 60 days ?

[@Chéli-b3k]

I have seen my ex yesterday in the street and i crossed it so we wouldn't meet. I'm sure he saw me. I really don't know if i did a big mistake there... but i don't want to break no contact for this. I miss him a lot, i really wish we could go back together one day but i don't know if that day will ever come.

[@Reddude24]

What if they have stuff at your place? I have a bunch of her earrings that she has left here. Coming up next week on two months since I’ve seen her and a month since I received a message. For background, I never did anything bad to her and was always good to her. She just 180’d out of nowhere and bounced saying she’s having hard time in life right now.

[@MsPthing]

Hi there! Great and helpful video! I've just started no contact, but does it count if he was the one finally saying by text that it was better if we didn't prolong the situation? We were in a LDR, I kind of self-sabotage it and, at some point, he didn't see we could overcome the distance. We texted a bit, then he started ignoring some of my texts (we had agreed to chat on the phone), I said he wasn't treating me well and then he said he cared, but we can't change the distance and it was better to stop it. Also, if he's in another country, see it as complicated to meet up if we reconnect. I can't make up a business trip where he lives. Thanks for your answers!

[@ronniliechti7594]

What do you mean to reach out ? She writes me sometimes, asked me to go to ikea with her, to help her move into her new appartement. Said i can come cook for her and our daughter. She still doesnt know what She wants. I freaking love that woman Still no contact or is it ok to write goodnight and goodmorning or no go ? And yes gonna help her when SHE asks for my help

[@Nutriza-Health4124]

Coach Lee thank you for valuable vidoes they have helped me very much.... I have one month now since she left me... she called last Saturday and made a joke about being then she insisted to speak 10 minutes and telling me to move on and asking me if I will visit her province...it ended like that our call while I was in no contact and I am continuing with no contact since Saturday

[@dennislucero5143]

Excellent video buddy 👍

[@jayday187]

5 months NC. I begged and pleaded, she has BPD. She rebounded, failed, and constantly shares porn on her social medias. I think she's having a crisis and I hope we can recover but I hope she sees my value but she blamed me for everything, devalued and villainized me, threw me away, and it hurts. Should I reach out or just stay silent?

[@panoslifeinspirator]

I can relate to you mate to most things you describe. My special person has also BPD most , after the break up we talked every now and then mostly I reached out except of sometimes she did, also begged, pleaded, I initiated NC 2-3 times. A month ago I broke NC after almost 2 months wished her for a holiday and asked her how she is doing at the place she went to work, she replied but she was very cold to me. I decided to initiate NC again and at the same time working on my beliefs and myself, believing she will reach out. It's up to you but you could reach out if you feel ready but you already persisted a lot so maybe it's better to wait little more and focus on you

[@xwaffleleaderx]

She broke up over instagram likes and said that "cheating comes in different forms." So should I reach out or wait for her? Honesty, idk what to think about that statement. I even deleted the account before we ended things🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

[@inv_der2350]

She texted me two times, one two months ago and then another one for my birthday, but both times she deleted the message shortly after, so I didn't reply. She also followed me on IG so I followed back, tho I don't watch her stories but she does watch all of mine. She writes sad stuff on her social media, even to the point of writing a WhatsApp bio wondering if the love was real and whatnot. It's like she went straight into defeat mode without even trying. I wonder if I should just reach out at this point or if I'm at the brink of making NC work. It's been 5 months since the breakup.

[@russ123321bunya]

Why not reach out in a casual way? Nothing to lose

[@inv_der2350]

​@@russ123321bunya I've been thinking about that. I just feel she may reach out at any time and I don't wanna blow it.

[@Y2Jericho161]

It's been two weeks of no contact which started immediatelly after thr break up. During the break up I told her that I don't want her to contact me in any way. I did not say it angrily, more of a sad tone but affirmative. She hasn't reached since. The relationship was predominantly positive. Should I break no contact?

[@yoporolomerocles]

does no contact still work if my ex dumped me because she was overwhelmed by her life and by my attentions? also she told me that the overwhelming caused by me was due to the fact that somtimes I layed back for long periods and suddenly a big input of solutions and plans.

[@miguelcorreia1149]

Coach I Have been in no contact for 9 months. We were going to the same places but I wasn't able to talk to her. Every time I did I would get nervous and shiver. So we have seen each other and we don't talk. Should I approach her the next time? I don't want to be pushy. She was the one who told me to go away. She also has heard that I have been hurting and resentful for the things she did. I have heard that she wanted to tak to me but won't because of the former

[@dasein_sosein_mitsein]

What about the 'dumper' reaches out few times and declares love after all but the 'dumpee' doesn't react at all after months? That can happen too.

[@shivangigohil4183]

🤞

[@fruz_oficial]

what would you say if I'm the one that broke it off, but because, she was not sure about me? We were 4 months into a serious relationship, then last month suddenly she started feeling "unsure", and started acting unexcited, she said she didn't know why she was feeling like that, because i was very constant and supportive from the very beginning, she said she loved me but agreed on breaking up, said she needed to go to therapy because of some unresolved childhood issues, that always make her doubt every choice she makes. I'm 1 month into no contact, she has only liked a picture on my IG in this time frame, but i wonder if i should reach out or not, i cut her off because i thought i deserved someone that is sure about being with me, but another part of me does wonder, what if she actually needed my support? and not cut her off completely

[@dejavous_diaries]

Hey Couch Lee, I am trying manifestation and today, after two weeks of break up, he brought my stuff with a card postal written on it: Dear Hanieh, All the best! Lukas He placed them behind the door of my apartment and when I was leaving my place, I saw them. Does this mean a farewell? Should I react to it?

[@atlasstargazer]

Don't give back gifts. How should we handle an engagement ring if an engagement breaks off? Or how about if you're engaged but he says he wants to "take a break", is it appropriate to give back the engagement ring?

[@leonalaman9772]

I did gave back a engagement ring and you know what she left me for forever. Never heard a word since then and infact today I regret it.

[@jamespt7354]

Only been in NC 4 days I reached out to say sorry and she replied I asked her to go for coffee to talk she has agreed but said doesn’t think anything will change I’m not going to persuade her but is it a mistake

[@ShaneOneill-z4r]

Broke up 3 months ago. Still in contact sporadically. If i go 4 days without contacting her she comments about deleting our messaging app. Stuck in friend zone . So confusing

[@BetulKaracam-ej9yi]

Im going to wish him a happy bday in December, since he dont text me, I will, I mean I was the person ended our relationship, and unblocked him, he was the one who confessed his love for me, so it will be fair me to text him now though, will break no contact.

[@cwest1557]

If you ended it I would suggest you reach out to him. How did it go?

[@rachanaraveendra9442]

What if he cheated and I’m doing no contact And now he is with the other girl And I still want him back ? No contact works even then ?

[@rajtupe0245]

Damn..coach lee I would have appreciated if u posted this video 1 day ago. I messed up.

[@prexity_]

what if he told me he would break it off if i didn’t? So in the end i did end it, but i didn’t want to. Should i go back or is it him going back?

[@averageinvestor2529]

So I've been broken up with my ex for 6months now. She ended it but she didn't want too (was a tricky situation and I understand why). Throughout the 6months we were contacting each other every 2 to 3 weeks. Well she was reaching out to me to let me know she was still thinking of me but never progressed further. Then the longest we stopped talking was recently for a month and then I got scared that maybe she had fully moved on. So I msged her something that just reminded me of her..she replied and said like that those things that remind her of me haven't been lost on her or the significant things. She asked me a couple questions and I responded. Then she never replied. I think now is the time to just not speak to her for however long I need to break the cycle of the 3 weeks. She knows I want to be with her. What is your advice coach?

[@Kimkim-eg5sl]

Could you guys help me? See I broke up with my ex of 2 years being together because I wasn’t feeling mentally stable as much, however I regretted the breakup and tried to get back with him about 3 times in the first three weeks but he said no because he just needed time alone and he told me he truly really loves me but can’t go back for now. Later on he said he wasn’t giving second chances (maybe because I must’ve begged too much.) Since then I did no contact and left him alone, it is soon about to be 3 months since no contact- my question is, should he come to me at this point or should I? (when the time is right, and don’t worry I know I should work on myself and such) TMI, we were both great in our relationship, it was never toxic or anything like that. It would be much help you guys!! This was my first relationship.

[@rickiewatson2175]

Short story, caught chesting on my GF 2wks ago, i apologized and did the whole begging and groveling during that she has been messaging me angry messages and showing signs of wanting me back....then i listened to your videos and did no contact..i am now on day two on no contact and she has messaged me harsh things, telling me she hooked up with a guy and kept messaging me saying around the same thing on multiple apps like signal, on different made up phone numbers and evne my email and work email she even threatened and said she i changing her number tomorrow... i notice the desperation to get my attention...but i have fought hard to not react to it or break no contact....but if what she is sayong is true should i break no contact?? Im fighting not too but i dont want to lose her forever...

[@ITudorify]

Wait, she cheated on you and YOU apologized?! Dude, she belongs to the streets.

[@AParrotSpeakingHisMind]

If he broke up with me and said he wanted to remain friends & we were very friendly through the relationship and for a time afterwards & I suddenly went no contact without telling him and didn’t answer or open any messages/snaps should I explain to him I need time to be able to be friends to let him know what’s going on or just stay no contact? I feel no contact is best but I don’t want him to feel angry like I ghosted him so suddenly when we had been talking a lot on a friendly note?

[@Chris_8]

Unfortunately, I broke no contact 52 days in NC. Was having a moment of weakness where my heart lead and not my head. I added her back on Snap and Insta but she didn’t add me back but didn’t decline either. I just ended up declining it myself and now am back to day 2 of NC. Do not break it, even for a short term relationship. Fortunately I didn’t have a bad reaction to the breakup and didn’t beg or plead after. So it all wasn’t a waste but sucks being back to the beginning. 2nd attempt I will not break it. Although I am doing it for myself not for her

[@francessantiago5747]

Should you respond the 1st time they reach out or maintain no contact… he keeps doing it and then I Get my hopes up for nothing I don’t get it

[@chburrows]

Does reaching out to give them your condolences about a family tragedy reset no contact/delay them getting out of the relief stage? All I said was that I'd just heard and that I was sorry and hoped they were doing well otherwise. She responded in kind with general politeness and I don't plan on contacting her again. Unless in one of the circumstances mentioned in your video.

[@drfareehafatima]

so I went no contact 102 days ago and a month back my ex unfollowed me, then sent me a follow request two weeks later. I accepted it. Now he has followed me from a fake account by a funny name that I used to call him, and is liking and viewing my stories by that account. Should I reach out ?

[@JustMeAndMyBoy]

What if WE ended it, but also said “If that’s what u want” bc of hurtful things he just said, that we’re “not dating or together”?? Who’s the dumper/dumpee??? He’s DA/FA, I’m secure.

[@RyRy-p5j]

Coach Lee, She Dumped me because I've made a mistake. She said, we will never be together again. I've tried no contact for 1 month but she always 1st to reach out to me. So I invited her so we see and talk to each other but she didnt want but She invited me and wants to see me but with some of our friends, We hang out sometimes, I break my no contact and just go with her with our friends. Whats the meaning of this? what should I do?

[@stefanalbarran9097]

My ex broke up with me and wants to return a gift that I had given them , what should I do ?

[@rinanuryani]

How about his belonging? He didn't collect it for 3 months, ready in 2 months, going to move

[@Ossu]

What if you run into her at a music festival and she’s with her new man. Happened to me this past weekend, and I still went up to her to say hi and all she said was can you leave me alone 😂

[@Synthminator]

You had that coming, sorry to say. Move on

[@Ossu]

@@Synthminator how so? I’m just trynna learn here. I thought Coach Lee said that in public you are allow to talk to her. I was just trynna be cordial and friendly. I was also with a girl but we weren’t together. But my ex was holding hands with her new guy so they were definitely together.

[@davidfongartstuff6528]

Thanks! Thanks so much for your videos @RealCoachlee The last text I sent her, I let her know I would be there if she ever changed her mind. Should I break 9 days of no contact now to let her know i'll no longer wait? (according to your video, 'What Your Ex Needs To Know To Come Back') Or is there a way to convey this to her without

[@RealCoachLee]

David, I don’t suggest you do that. It’s more important to show that you are strong enough to stay away. Additionally, as time passes, usually the dumper thinks you could have “moved on” and that’s often what makes them feel and fear loss. So hold your ground.

[@WolfordWise]

@coachlee... my ex is in a rebound since 1 week after. She realized he's not healthy but makes excuses for him (threatening her life, abusing alcohol). It's been 6 months. There's been a lot of contacted mainly initiated by her. Her last response to me after a longer talk was this..."I've though about it and prayed about it 100 times over the last few weeks. I still come to the same result. There will always be a part of me that doesn't want to trust you. I see your changes and i do care about you but without trust there no foundation to build from" How do i handle that? We were together 5 years.

[@schweber10]

"Let me know when you change your mind" and then go NC and don't break it.

[@Niwweleg]

​@@schweber10so that she will think that nothing is lost?

[@schweber10]

@@Niwweleg Right now she his using OP as a crutch to move forward with her new guy. She knows she can always come back to him. She has to experience the loss of the him. Additionally, it will show her that he keeps his word and that will start to rebuild trust.

[@Niwweleg]

@@schweber10 she can't experience the loss if she knows that he's still there waiting for her to "change her mind". he has to answer with... silence

[@schweber10]

@@Niwweleg Disagree, it allows him to move on but leaves her with a twinkle of intrigue. Then he can move on and focus on himself. It's not about her, but about him.