Signs Your Family is Using You as the SCAPEGOAT

Are you the black sheep of the family? Do you feel that your parents are always blaming you for things that you did? When you are the scapegoat child, your abusive parents use you as the punching bag to throw their own anger and frustrations into. In this video, we cover signs that you might be the scapegoat child and what you could do to draw your boundaries.
WATCH HOW TO DEAL WITH TOXIC FAMILY HERE: • How To Deal With a Tox...
We also made a video on the types of children in toxic family: • 5 Types of Children fr...
Writer: Chamae
Script Editor: Vanessa Tao
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
VO: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Animator: Clarisse Lim Xingyi
KZbin Manager: Cindy Cheong
REFERENCES
Gardner, A. (2022, January 31). Are You The Family Scapegoat? Signs You May Be, And What You Can Do About It | Regain. Regain US. Retrieved from www.regain.us/advice/family/are-you-the-family-scapegoat-signs-you-may-be-and-what-you-can-do-about-it/
heybobbibanks. (2022, January 6). Being the family scapegoat can look like: Instagram. Retrieved from pCYZLH-6gZj9/
Maccoby, E. (2000, February). Parenting and its Effects on Children: On Reading and Misreading Behavior Genetics. Annual Reviews. Retrieved from www.annualreviews.org/doi/10.1146/annurev.psych.51.1.1
Nittle, N. (2021, June 11). What Does It Mean to Be the Family Scapegoat? Verywell Mind. Retrieved from www.verywellmind.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-the-family-scapegoat-5187038

[@Psych2go]

hi

[@YNGFURY]

hi! And yes

[@octopuszombie8744]

hi

[@suzanadsuza4819]

Hey 👋

[@cutecat2879]

Sup

[@fufu9066]

Hii

[@galaxy_mooncat779]

It hurts when someone who is meant to love you. Truly hates you for just existing

[@choco057.]

Ikr

[@choco057.]

@@Alloy_Dreemurr e d g y d o t s

[@derekkennedy20]

This is sadonic

[@DinaSan1]

Treats you like garbage but gets mad you're 'not grateful to have a roof over your head, bed to sleep in and warm meals'

[@anushkalohia5185]

@@DinaSan1 those words are extremely true:((

[@butterchickenisback]

I was the scapegoat in my family all my life. Finally, at the age of 25 when it became unbearable, I found the courage to leave. The only regret I have is that I should have left sooner... When you remove yourself from that toxic situation, that's when your second life begins. I wish you all the best - you deserve nothing but the best! From my experience, you must look out for yourself and become your own protector. I also kept a close friend updated since, unfortunately, there was violence and abuse in my situation.

[@pollytheparrot8929]

So sad.. Thank god u left.. God bless 🙏 😍

[@Psych2go]

Thank you for sharing this vulnerable piece

[@micheller9323]

I left at 43 I wish I had left at 18

[@luisathexplorer]

I’m so sorry that your so young and this horrible thing happened to you but also that you had the strength and resiliency to get out 😇

[@butterchickenisback]

@Shanice I am proud of you no matter what! Sending you lots of positive vibes and love ❤️

[@Jubbinn_]

Sometimes I feel like this is the case but I don't know

[@lederplayz382]

Me too lol

[@User-pm7zf]

Same

[@haileyplaysgames8357]

Me too

[@scarasbf]

same

[@goldenviolet]

This is a situation that is passed down in families. It is shameful, and at times l have done it myself. So much has changed in my life time. As a child, it was ok to spank. But we are not perfect, we are human beings. Thank you for sticking up for the scapegoats.

[@user-xy3cf5mp6g]

Just a random tip for parents out there : never yell at your kids when they accidentally broke something expensive. It will made them feel that something else is worth more than them. Instead just say, "are you okay? " or "Be careful next time"

[@Psych2go]

exactly!

[@LisaMaryification]

How about 'Never yell at your kids.' Period.

[@Killua_Zoldyck3407]

How about TAKE A BREATH OF FRESH AIR before even speaking and see how much your mood changes after that 😤 how long has it been since they've actually been able to BREATHE because of so much guilt from hurting their own child?

[@tandris1085]

My dad roars off my face when the wind slams in the car door....

[@catsinabox121]

lol I broke a dollarama plastic skull once. It was only a few hours of yelling and spanking so not too bad. :)

[@YNKOYWIMS]

They actually made me feel that I don't belong to their family, but it's okay, I'm used to it.

[@devonkeller1956]

Don’t get too used to it because this is below the standard you should be treated

[@cloud_walking_person]

Being used to something doesn't mean it's okay friend...these stuff will eventually pass, so make sure you make the best out of the situation!..let it teach you how to control your emotions, and how to focus on stuff that actually matter!. May Allah bless you and give you a life that brings tears of joy into your eyes..💜💜💫💜💜💫💖💖

[@turtleboi3610]

I don't know if thats a good or bad thing tho

[@Shelby-pq9wj]

Same I was the black sheep

[@xrc7445]

There is no family that they made you feel like you don't belong to. They dislike each other, they just dislike you the most. As soon as you're out, someone else will take your place.

[@christinelee4780]

This is the story of my life. I recently discovered that my mother has for several years (possibly my whole life) told lies about how I never helped with the housework when I was. When anything in the house went wrong like the toilet getting blocked, it somehow became my fault because my perfect brother could do no wrong (sarcasm).

[@saramsaram6578]

💔💔🖤

[@annaburns2865]

Yep. Same. Except I had four brothers. I’m still trying to figure out which one was the golden child because I definitely relate to all these scapegoat points. Perhaps I was even the golden child at one point and fell from grace because that is entirely possible so maybe that happened to all of my brothers too.

[@threefreaksonaleash6619]

I feel you.

[@Psych2go]

Sorry about this..

[@nevaehhamilton3493]

Your mother probably had NPD.

[@theeMFjae]

i have been the outcast of my family since a child and it hurts even more as an adult because you’re so aware now, i wish i had this video to give me confidence when i was younger

[@Psych2go]

you got this!

[@carloivanmx8495]

This video made me cry so bad, just wanted to hug the character when he cried, it felt just like seeing a mirror image of my whole childhood.

[@Dh-rp7gg]

I felt exactly the same way.

[@C4Explore]

😞😭💔...Those poor crying cuties...

[@Lala-lp1uy]

same 😞

[@user-rk4uu7pt8x]

Me too 😭

[@CarlCoppinger]

Yup. Same. I get a " perfect score" from these videos..... Yay....

[@d.maxwell8669]

I grew up with narcissistic parents and they blamed me for everything. My self esteem was so low, I often wished I was never born because I felt that my existence was such a burden to them. I tried so hard to make them proud of me, but they kept pushing the goal post for their approval. I was always lacking. Jump a couple of decades later, I'm a workaholic with no life. I never feel proud of my accomplishments and I have no self worth. While I now understand that it's not something they can control, I have moved away from my parents but the damage has been done and I can't seem to fix myself. My personal and romantic relationships have borne the brunt of my upbringing. As much as it's unhealthy to blame your parents for the outcome of your life, I feel very bitter and resentful.

[@DarleneLeanna333]

Its not unhealthy to hate and blame them. You have all the right to blame them because this is the truth: All the harm is made by the parents. All these videos about traumas and mental health issues have the parents as the root cause for everything. Because they are supposed to love you. Nothing is more damaging than the people that are supposed to love you...dont love you or support you. Forgiveness is bullshit. Letting go is bullshit. Because this means you ignore your feelings,your suffering,you treat yourself as if you dont matter. Dont cancel what is normal and natural to feel. As i said, you have all the right to feel the way you feel.

[@mrtommypickelz3441]

@@DarleneLeanna333 If forgiveness is bs than what about if you are to forgive yourself when you become a parent? Could you forgive yourself for damaging your child? It is invetible if you are to have child.

[@Angell_Lee]

You are worthy and always have been, don't let those people projection dampen the rest of your life. Much love from another fellow scapegoat who escaped xo

[@iliketobitch6317]

Keep going buddy, get some much needed therapie. And start talking to yourself in your head like you would talk to your child wenever you do something. "i washed the dishes. Yay me!" "got that report out, im doing great!" Seems silly but do that. It helps you recognice your worth with every little achivement of the day. After all, this is what they should have told you and its what you deserve to hear.

[@Psych2go]

Thank you for sharing this vulnerable piece

[@LisaMaryification]

One time I was telling my doctor how I wish I could convince my family that I'm good enough. She responded, 'You will never convince them'.Even when my own twin sister died, they listed my name last in her obituary. There was no reason for that. But I've been blamed for things that I had nothing to do with. I was thousands of miles away and knew nothing of what was happening and I still got blamed. Ridiculous.

[@pollytheparrot8929]

Sooo sad.. 😟

[@Psych2go]

sorry about this...

[@janeyjoesmith2127]

I have similar experience, was blamed for my twin sister’s cancer and death. None of my other siblings have spoken to me since before her death..it has been 5 and a half years I’ve been shunned and ostracized.. My siblings continue to wish my deceased twin sister a Happy Birthday on social media while I hear nothing from them. It’s strange and sad to be treated as though you are dead when you are alive💔

[@reesedaniel5835]

@@janeyjoesmith2127 And they treat your dead twin as though she is alive. Bizarre.

[@veronicapiccinini7956]

Not everything but my parents kinda still give me mental blackmails and guilt tripping because they are just insecure control freaks, who throws tantrums because I make “selfish choices” like living my own life as I wish (keep in mind that I m 28) or questioning my hobbies such as videogames or how I wear my clothes.

[@0DlREoAMvERe0]

Honestly same. I'm the same age and videogames is also part of one of my hobbies. It actually helps me cope (which isnt always the best but hey). But my mom makes me feel bad about it

[@veronicapiccinini7956]

@@0DlREoAMvERe0 speaking of videogames, they actually have some perks: they improve your eye-hand coordination, your problem solving skills, they help you to socialize with other people (especially in those games where an entire community is involved) and it’s a relief valve in the same way listening music, watching your favorite shows and making theories about it, and exercise are. Bottom line: it’s better having an interest than having none at all. And if they don’t like it, it’s their problem only. Fun fact: an Italian politician said that videogames should be banned as drugs, only because they give us pleasure through endorphrine release (and my initial thought was: “so are you say that we can’t eat chocolate, too?”)

[@0DlREoAMvERe0]

@@veronicapiccinini7956 yeah I do agree that they have a lot of perks. What I meant with: using it to cope, is that when having issues it isnt always healthy to destract yourself with whatever. That is what I do a lot. I use KZbin and video games to distract myself which doesn't solve the problem. And yeah I agree doing something is better than nothing :)

[@Lmao-md3wl]

@@veronicapiccinini7956 sure you can play games but those perks is straight up bullsh*t, video games only gonna improve your hand eye coordination in video games, like nothing else bruh, and they won't going to improve your social skill even if the games is about socializing, the best way to be better at socializing is socializing

[@TinTin-ir8wx]

​@@0DlREoAMvERe0 u should hav balanced life.. must fr all. N also no anything which is not that normal n which is harmful / vengeful / dirty anyhow / inhumanity something... don't try those things / those paths / those ppl anyhow.. may it games or whatevr... keep urself happy but d way which r good fr u n nver bad fr anyone neithr bad fr u.

[@the80sfanatic13]

I have all 6 of those. My dad, auntie, and 2 cousins. I don't hate them, I just hate how they treated me. It's wrong. Yelling at me, gaslighting me, manipulation, talking about me, talking down to me like I was nothing, always interrupting me, blaming me, thrashing my goals, ignoring me, threatening me, everything. And now I'm all alone. Away from them. Peace.

[@Heartache2491]

If by "blame me for everything" you mean "oh youre mad about the trauma our actions have caused you and how much it's affected your life? Well, it's your fault for letting it affect you so much.", Then yes, my family blames me for everything

[@courtney9321]

Totally relate to this- the past four years have been horrible and full of trauma for me and all my dad says is to think abt how some people have it worse

[@Psych2go]

Sorry about this..

[@chickenlittle4014]

Bro the fact that, that’s an exact phrase these families used!?🤬😩🥺🙁 the amount of times I heard my mom say this

[@Jdksneo]

I feel you. It’s my fault apparently that my father cheated on my mother even though it happened when I was a kid. They are still together and blaming me for everything. It’s disgusting.

[@gz4187]

@@Jdksneo they dont deserve you

[@mockerylloyd]

This happens to me all the time... Constantly being blamed for everything, including the mess that my family's lack of responsibility creates. I know that feeling.

[@Psych2go]

[@PsychToLight]

When you get blamed for things that are not your fault, it can be very frustrating, especially if you didn't do anything to provoke them.

[@davidbalija]

I feel like this all the time. My family never loved me. I took me a long time to love myself.

[@Psych2go]

we love you...

[@potato1674]

Timestamps for everyone who needs them ❤️: 0:00 Intro 0:38 Nr. 1 ,,They treat you like a metaphorical punching bag" 1:11 Nr. 2 ,,They talk bad about you to other people" 2:04 Nr.3 ,,They put a damper on your achievements" 3:10 Nr.4 ,,They project their own mistakes onto you" 4:16 Nr. 5 ,,They blatanly ignore you" 5:09 Nr. 6 ,,They treat you differently from others" First time I'm making timestamps because this video is one of the few that hits me really hard since I was the black sheep in my family I hope you all have a wonderful day/night Remember it's not your fault if you relate to any of the points in this video

[@THANATOS-PRIME]

Thank you. Unfortunately mine has a bad habit of treating me as an errand boy or at least they used to until I told them that crap ended when I moved out. Call Tim I was sick of the gaslighting and constant guilt tripping.

[@khalilahd.]

🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@SunIsLost]

Thanks

[@josecorchete3732]

Potatoes are the best 🤗

[@charlottepeukert9095]

That's easier sayed than done.As a child, you are heavily dependent on your primary care-givers and you can't just reach out to someone outside the family as that has bad consequences for you.Your family will hold you responsible if they feel that you blackmail them.All you can do is to be brave, find friends outside of your inner circle and gradually move away from them as you progress into adulthood.They won't change and will deny there is actually a problem.And from their point of view, you are the troublemaker, the unworthy child and the one who needs treatment.Their credability is bigger than yours, they are in charge of you.

[@anniegreen9427]

A really good video. However, I think it's important to point put that sometimes reaching out to other relatives is not an option. They might have formed an opinion about you based on what they've been told or in some cases they might have the same dysfyncion pattern in their families. It's really sad.. I'd say the best thing you can do is: - Find real friends, forget the ones that use you or make you feel like you need to walk on eggshells. - When you've got good people in your life, keep as much distance with your family as you can. It can make the relationship more peaceful. The easiest way to set a boundary with someone who constantly treats you like you're unworthy is to do something simple. A triggering phone call? Dont answer every time or when your upset/in a sensitive mood, let it ring or shut your phone while it's ringing. Don't visit too often. If their behaving badly, just say you have to go and leave. Don't explain anything. Just say something simple. When they yell at you, let them embarass themselves. Silence is your power. That's what I've noticed. Silence bugs them, they want a reaction from you. Don't give it. Let them exhaust their battery first and then reply if needed. And lastly, start going after your dreams and start therapy if you feel unworthy. It's a long journey but it really helps if someone confirms it's not you and you shouldn't be treated that way. If you're young or underage, stay strong. Get good at your skills without telling them. Don't show them your achievements. Just build your life and make a plan how to get there. Think about what kind of people you'd like to meet. The world is full of people who can treat you like a human being. That's all. God bless. You can do it simply by not replying as often, slowly disappearing from their lives.

[@MsTranquill]

I agreed,, telling relatives (especially the older generation, like aunt or granny, only make more problems). just move out from that house if u r old enough, start your own life.

[@Psych2go]

Yess!!

[@k_something6124]

Yes!!! If anything your family has already gotten in their head and they just look at you like you’re the problem. There’s literally no Point in even trying to defend yourself or get upset. A lot of these solutions were kind of crappy. I feel like if my family were that rational to just tell them how you are feeling when they do something to you…. They will just dismiss you or end up getting more mean or saying your too sensitive. They will get mad at you if someone else did something. To make them upset but you are there, so then they go off on you. The only way to get away from it, is to leave or cut them off with. Then maybe they will get the hint. But probably not. They will find someo way to think you are just immature or being spoiled etc. You just have to keep it all inside and pretend like nothing is wrong

[@tenningale]

My principles for dealing with toxic/narcissistic people: 1) don't share information (they weaponize all info against you) 2) don't react 3) don't show emotions (they smugly use this against you to gossip and lie that there's something wrong with you) 4) don't personalize their behavior (it's a function of their disorder, not you) Look up the Grey Rock Method, or go no-contact.

[@sacha4065]

I know my mom is toxic and I shouldn’t go chasing her approval and I tell myself time and time again next she treats me bad I am going to stand up for my self. But it never happens. You get so used to the negative comments that when you hear a neutral or positive one it’s something you go craving. I make up speeches in my head that I want to say to her but the second she starts yelling at me I coward. I hate it so much.

[@pollytheparrot8929]

Soo true.. It happens to me too. You should move out.. God bless, stay safe and strong.. 😍

[@taraarrington2285]

I keep the peace for my kids. It's a messed up situation.

[@HairbyNardia]

I’m not sure how old you are but if you’re a child that is under age maybe plan to move out when you’re 18 that is the best and never look back or if you’re already an adult just make plans to move and good luck 🙏🏽

[@tenningale]

Narcs are emotionally reactive people but shame others for their emotions, so don't show anger or anything with them. They expect you to tolerate treatment that they would be deeply offended by. My mom is a covert narc and I don't give her any information or react. She weaponizes all personal information against anyone she's using as her emotional toilet.

[@SihiCrescent]

I'm in my 30s and I'm still the scapegoat, except I learned to ignore it all. While growing up it was all this and more. Got to the point of being forgotten on my own birthday with everyone leaving for whatever day they had planned at someone's house (I honestly never met the people) and after going out with a friend to get a small cake just for the two of us was forbidden to celebrate once everyone got home not long after to get stuff they forgot for a bbq. My mother literally took the cake with her just so I wouldn't celebrate anything. After they left again, my friend took me out for dinner, bought me a gift and did everything to keep me smiling. Then we just got back to my place to play some videogames. Later that night at almost midnight, my family returned, cake untouched because the people with whoever they were gathered with were wholesome and refused to cut the cake, so...they "celebrated" my bday with the most frowny faces you can imagine only because they wanted cake. The next day it was all back to either being ignored or yelled at simply for breathing. "Fun times."

[@Psych2go]

Thank you for sharing this vulnerable piece

[@CarlCoppinger]

Poor kid😢😢😢

[@KTF.4.EVER1961]

I don't think I know that I was the family scapegoat. To say my family was dysfunctional is an understatement. My 4 siblings were drug dependent alcoholics, with one exception, me. They hated me, called me crazy and did all sorts of awful things just to try to get me to follow in the family traditions. I never saw any of them as poster ppl for using drugs and alcohol. But I never allowed them to get under my skin, this pissed them off even more. Despite them and probably because of my childhood I successfully raised 4 boys to be strong well adjusted men. It can be done.

[@thaimyburgh9552]

Wow❤

[@HeyMJ.]

Family traditions are hard to break, especially when those who are enmeshed try to get involved in your kids’ lives. Thanks for sharing your story; overcoming family challenges to successfully raise your own children. 🏡☀️

[@Psych2go]

Thank you for sharing this vulnerable piece

[@khalilahd.]

I hate how many people relate to this as I have also dealt with this growing up. It’s hard to have to heal yourself especially as a child growing up but it is nice to have resources like this to help you navigate such a difficult situation 🙏🏽

[@tinydancer36]

I'm almost 67 and still have not healed from my childhood...

[@Psych2go]

yes!

[@LisaMaryification]

It really is hard. I need to learn how to reframe myself as someone who is not always shamed or blamed for everyone else's problems. It's also difficult to find intelligent self aware people out there who won't blame or shame you. But I look at it in the way that I'm making things better for my children.

[@mumba3263]

I was the family scapegoat for soo long and I never realised until this year. This year I got to leave home for college and escaping is really what opened my eyes. Loooking back, I can't fathom why everything I said I wanted to do was constantly treated as a joke and I can now see how much that affected how I handle internal motivation. Being the scapegoat also meant I developed this idea that I didn't do something perfectly from the get-go then I was no good and would bash myself without end within my own head; it took me a while to realise the errors I made were a part of the learning process and that mistakes happen cause I'm human, not because I'm incompetent. To anyone still fighting that battle, I strongly recommend you start building a new secret external family and find people that really care about you and will make you feel like you're actually a person, personally this was my saving grace; I would have killed myself if not for my girlfriend who truly cared about me and saw so much good in me that it planted the seeds for a new perspective of myself. I know how detrimental it can be to be belittled and abused(emotionally, mentally or physically) by the very people who are supposed to love you and nature your growth into a full adult, this scratches the surface of everything I endured from my family, but believe me it does get better and know this: YOU ARE STRONG!!! You've endured soo much and you keep fighting and pushing through it all, you're an absolute badass and you may not see it now but please start to nurture that perspective, I love you all.

[@Lianna_Is_Me]

True that and thank u

[@libs5382]

Thank you 🌈

[@mumba3263]

@@Lianna_Is_Me You're welcome

[@mumba3263]

@@libs5382 You're welcome

[@Psych2go]

Thank you for sharing this vulnerable piece

[@notknownlogic4161]

I saw this and almost cried.. I am 22 now and I no longer live with my family, I have 8 siblings and I am the oldest. It is so hard not to overshare right now.

[@KimDrewTheLine]

My family does this to me. I'm the black sheep, so to speak. They leave me out of things, family events, etc...it hurts a lot. I don't deserve it, but I can't help but be bothered by it. I love my family, but sometimes I think they just don't understand me, & they'd rather just not even try. I end up taking the brunt of if emotionally, though. 😔

[@Haru_vi]

To all the kids go grew up in such families , remember, It was never your fault ! None of it was your fault !!! Its all on your parents , as they failed to raise you up in the best way , and you were more than enough from the start ! I see you !!!

[@calvin9436]

The short answer: Yes, I'm the reason of all my toxic family traumas, such a nice feeling.

[@ProtoPurity]

I remember when I opened up about my depression as all these videos say, my parents blamed it all on me and then told me I was an unwanted pregnancy Nothing got better in the slightest

[@jag0wnsu]

Wow that’s absolutely horrible! I’m sure it took courage to open up about it, and to get a response like that is just devastating. I feel like a lot of parents react like that because they can’t deal with there being ‘something wrong’ with their child. They seem to take it as a personal attack, or at least that’s how it seems to be for quite some people. Your parents are immature to react the way they did. Whatever is going on in your life, don’t be too hard on yourself. What you feel is valid. Blame does not help anyone with depression. I hope they can come to their senses soon, but if you’re dealing with abusive parents, I can only send you courage. Maybe someone to reach out to would be helpful aswel, but I know that isn’t easy with depression … Take care 😔

[@Psych2go]

Thank you for sharing this vulnerable piece

[@sams_enfp]

actual 💀💀💀parents I hope things get better for you ❤

[@rei7858]

After reading the title, I immediately shouted yes.

[@improvementspace9632]

My main rule for this. Take no responsibility for something you didn't do or didn't do. This is true regardless of what the situation is.

[@TinTin-ir8wx]

When u / anyone is not ok then u r not for fr all type works all type responsibilities.. n when it's love/marrg/marrd life then if husband n wife r not ok.. then how could it will b possible to feel righteously to b present appropriately fr other any ppl like their kids ? They r not ok n broken.. rather

[@teodortodorov1662]

I can relate to this! Once time my parents were like this. They stopped being like that anymore, but their actions still effected me today! I don`t wanna spend time with them anymore, I don`t talk to some of them with years and I`m always avoiding to spend time or conversation with them. It`s feeling that makes me think "They deserve it"

[@tahmator1274]

Everyone changes, don't be afraid to give them a second chance

[@leguichettravel1599]

@@tahmator1274 If they won't listen to you, kill them. There still going to hate you anyways.

[@ivythealiencat]

@@tahmator1274 they arent obligated to forgive, theres a chance they didnt even give a direct apology

[@tingting6328]

This feels like my mom's relationship with my granny for some unknown reason bcz they keep it quite secretive

[@Psych2go]

[@clairebaldwin8733]

My dad used to use me as the family scapegoat and every time my parents argued he told me it was my fault (including the threat of divorce and whenever he said he no longer loved my mom, it was still my fault according to him). I managed to remove myself from the toxic environment for almost a year but returned to look after my mother when she broke her leg and ankle in several places and finally found the strength inside me to stand up against that rhetoric and my relationship with my dad is a lot better now. Finally, I am no longer the scapegoat and haven't been since 2007.

[@sieflee2573]

Chad-Women😎

[@Psych2go]

Thank you for sharing this vulnerable piece

[@missmadness387]

I honestly think I may be my family’s scapegoat. I’ve noticed over the years that my oldest sister is the golden child can’t do no wrong while if I mess up once it’s a big deal.

[@Psych2go]

[@reptileking2001]

I was the family scapegoat. I've been on my own since 2012 and haven't looked back since. Learned about myself and have a better outlook on life.

[@anonymousbyname1121]

A narcissistic mother, an alcoholic father and a narcissistic brother, my brother is 2 years older and always loved starting fights by kicking me under the dinner table (yes, I’m a girl) I would ask him to stop over and over and over again then I kicked back and he would scream and I would always get in trouble. My mother would grab me by my hair bring me down onto the ground and kick and punch the crap out of me no part of my body was off limits and my brother would be standing behind her laughing, sometimes even whispering “sucked in! Sucked in!” I took this crap until I could escape at 18. Yes I was the scapegoat for every little irritation they felt I would cop a beating, let me tell you you never recover I’m still dealing with the trauma it seems like a life long program. And I don’t like humans, most of them are just horrible horrible evil creatures!

[@umbra9029]

My mom would kick me and even tie me to the table legs with a cord.. the rest of the people were also garbage and protected my poor victim family that had a bad kid... Instead of actually helping me. I'm not even sure of anything anymore has I lost many memories from my childhood and teen years. I'm better of without them.

[@anonymousbyname1121]

Sorry to hear about your traumatic childhood, I hope you are seeing a professional about it. It really does help honestly my preferred treatment is hypnotherapy they delve deep into your mind, sometimes I’ve had a phenomenal experience and I can now feel happiness without a reason. My mum to would punch me in the head over and over and over it felt like she was never going to stop and just wanted to destroy me and to this day I don’t even know what I did wrong. I never want to think that I am a victim nor do I want to feel sorry for myself, I never want to be like her so actually she has been my greatest teacher. Feeling like a victim - life will give you repeated experiences to confirm that, so be strong and learn from the beasts that God put in your life and be grateful. I hope this helps.

[@goobiestuff]

My feelings don't even matter in my family. Whenever i'm around them they just don't want to know my opinion nor do they want to know how i feel.

[@ZIPPERSPRING2CATS]

I was the dumping ground for all my parents' issues. Their relationship was toxic so I got hit with both barrels. I was essentially out of my house by age 19, starting at age 17 when I was off to college. The phrase "friends are the family you choose" rings loud snd clear in my life! The hardest aspect to wade through was accepting that I was truly rejected by my family and that they were not going to change. It was liberating after facing that. I pray and wish for all who are born into a toxic and dysfunctional "family" that you find that strength to overcome and k ow and believe that you are worthy and good!!💕

[@garrettmcnulty8899]

It’s amazing that this channel is able to bring content like this to the mainstream. Because I’m sure there are more people than those commenting who can relate to this. I know for me it was hard to accept that as a family scapegoat that I was lied to about most of what I was able to do. Stay strong and don’t let your parents make you feel insignificant or unworthy of the love and support you deserve.

[@Psych2go]

[@MatthewMakarov]

​@@Psych2go hi

[@mytalaili3635]

I pity myself for dwelling on my sadness and sorrow of not being loved enough by my own family.. But after hearing this, I feel better, that I am not alone feeling this way, and if I learn to forgive, myself and them, maybe, just maybe, my pain can gradually be eased... Hi, other scapegoats of the family, everything will be fine, everything will be better. And hi, the author, narrator, and all the team members of this channel...THANK YOU, FOR MAKING THIS FOR US. It means a lot. Love and regard, From a scapegoat who learn more about herself..

[@cringyboi7237]

I am my family’s scapegoat and habits they have caused me to do these habits 1. When they come home I run to my safe place 2. I never really do anything 3. I used to be extravertiert but now I am introverted 4. I usually either in my room crying, or I’m on a game console with the volume so high that when I get yelled at for no reason

[@darsirabbit8595]

Hmmm, and... How do you see your future? They are like, leaving you without any sword But we all deserved a good life. Yes, I believe in that

[@SallyHounsell]

I had a cruel narcissistic mother who constantly abused me both physically & emotionally. Especially during the low points of her life. My siblings followed suit & never comforted me or defended me during these frequent toxic outbursts. I was forced out of the family home at 17 - couldn't cope another day with being their punchbag. I live with it every day.

[@derekkennedy20]

I've always known that even if at the moment you don't have the power to escape out of the hands of a toxic family while your still young the best thing is to try keeping your distance(may not be physical) in the sense that you can set a boundary for both yourself and the people around you. I too have been a victim of this and I'm working on it. The truth is that most people who like to make others the black sheep of the family are just feeling too shitty about themselves and are always too insensitive. Whatsoever they say that'll make you feeling worthless isn't true. Don't accept it and don't let it get to you. That my honest opinion. I'm saying this from experience.

[@PsychicInsignia]

Growing up I used to feel sorry for myself because I really didn't have family... Like I really didn't know my my mom and dad , or my siblings. I was like in and out of foster care from like the ages 2 to 10, and then after 10 years old I was in foster care a ward of the court. I see things like this, and I'm actually just so grateful, because like family Dynamics can be so toxic. Thank God I didn't have to go through that, I feel so sorry for people that have had to go through this type of trauma.

[@spd-kv6sd]

I will never understand why these things happen. Why would it be needed that someone is the scapegoat of the entire family?

[@reesedaniel5835]

Because narcissists are self righteous, lazy cowards who refuse to deal with their OWN SINS and would rather wear a fake mask of perfection and project all their unwanted crap onto someone who is better than them and has the potential to expose them later...the Scapegoat.

[@a.westenholz4032]

Because something or someone is toxic in the family to begin with. But instead of being honest about it, they blame a single member for their own or family issues, leaving them off the hook. Generally humans have a tendency to want to blame others for their own mistakes, to find causes outside of themselves, so that they don't have reflect or do the work of changing. That they can go on self-satisfied with themselves. This is just a much greater development of that, where the family unit starts do this with using one member as always more at fault or to blame for any problem or drama that occurs. That it is the scapegoat that is the sole problem in the family, the rest of them are "good" (i.e.=better) people.

[@musicmamma]

I have been the scapegoat for my family my whole life. As a result, I recently cut myself off from 2 sisters. 1 who "uninvited" me during holidays when she knew I was/am alone, 1 who constantly critisises me and everything i do and say. Needless to say, I had an emotional trauma-related childhood flashback. I'm done. It's better to be alone. Oh, and through all of this, I'm told "I'm too negative'.

[@PsychologyRefresh]

0:38 1. They treat you like a metaphorical punching bag 1:11 2. They talk bad about you to other people 2:04 3. They put a damper on your achievements 3:10 4. They project their own mistakes onto you" 4:16 5. They blatantly ignore you 5:09 6. They treat you differently from others

[@Psych2go]

[@nathaniel3867]

You’ve just described my whole childhood 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[@imani828]

This should be pinned!!

[@juststoppingby1602]

This was my relationship with my aunt. Even breathing was incorrect. There was a point where it stopped being enjoyable to be at a dinner table with her and as much as I did not want to go, my mom always pushed me to go because she felt bad for her sister. So I kept my head down and never said a word to my aunt in case she blew up for some reason. This went on for about a decade. My mom finally found the last straw and that was when my aunt flat out told her "juststoppingby is a loser" and went on and on about my faults. Mind you, I only saw her 2-3 times a year at that point. They now are no longer on speaking terms. Thank goodness.

[@Psych2go]

Thank you for sharing and sorry to hear that you've gone through all that. Hope you're doing better now

[@kimlec3592]

My Brother was the scapegoat. After he died too young, from the sheer loneliness of life in our "family"...he was found Mother's Day, 21 years ago. I will never get over it.

[@Kushmode420]

[@CarlCoppinger]

I'm the family scapegoat or was when I was still in contact with them. It's better to not have family members at all . I don't miss anything about them.

[@clockworkeclipse4689]

The fact every single one of these hit the mark has me floored. I'm the family scapegoat. Even my brother's in-laws blame me for things that aren't even related to me. They rip into me in public, tear me down seemingly for no reason, joke about how I'll amount to nothing, how things out of my control make me undesirable (they literally gave me the nickname Midge because I'm short), and leave me out of things when they can. What gets to me the most is that one of these people was her own family's scapegoat. My own *mother* was the scapegoat to her narcissistic mother. We moved to prevent her from making scapegoats among the grandkids and dividing them. And yet she actively makes *me* the scapegoat of the family by calling me Midge, keeping up with the jabs and negative remarks, and actively joins in on gaslighting where they deny they did anything to me in the past. I can't see how a scapegoat would turn around and become an abuser herself.

[@4ever624]

One time my mother was drunk at a party it was my aunts birthday and she just went on and on about how just a bad child i was and how much i mess up it really affected me that night

[@teodortodorov1662]

My mother once told me "I wish to go back in time to make abortion, when I was pregnant with you" Then I stopped talking to her since 3-4 years ago, even when we still live at same roof. I feel like I will never talk to her again, I love her, because she is my mother, but this phrase opened something in my mind.

[@Psych2go]

[@spyraalexandra5742]

I had a very similar conversation with a wonderful person today. We have days where we reflect on our childhoods. The great thing is making meaningful connections with people who see you for you and know your worthy of everything beautiful and know you chose who you are and chose to break that cycle for your own peace.

[@gwendolynwehage6336]

Toxic people who gossip worry about others doing the same thing to them. These people interpret how you are based on how they are but you are not. Everything these unkind people think is based on how they think and not what you really are. Both of my parents were narcissistic and they trained the boys to be that way. I was different, I voiced my objection to some things I saw and it made me the one to be hated for the rest of my life. I am 70 years old and have never been treated with love and respect my whole life by my family. I have gone no contact for a few years now and do not miss the abuse, however, I do sometimes miss the "idea" of having a family that loves me. They never loved me, it took years to realize this.

[@megthe_misunderstood_rebel9779]

All of these is what grew up with and currently going through. I have cut off my toxic family members. Best feeling! I’m closer to my aunt and I’m actually more happier, positive and ALIVE! All my life I’ve struggled to get the love and attention that my 2 brothers got and still receive.

[@AyaSkylab]

This video brought me to tears :( been the scapegoat all my life, all I get from them is hatred, shame, guilt, tons of accusations, being completely out of their daily fancy family dinner table. I'm so drained, my self esteem so low :(

[@Annalenalovemusic]

I feel for you❤️like read my own history❤️😍god bless you 🙏

[@johnnym]

This has not only been me in my home life, but also a most of my jobs. So much so, that at one point I thought I was going to have mental breakdown, because how can random people at my jobs treat me and act the same as my family does. I had to think, ok, what AM I DOING WRONG??? I could not and have not been able to figure this out, that it just leaves me with so much hopelessness that I don't know what to do. At my current job, I asked for help. Silence. I get called out for the most trivial things, but when I find a major error or issue and report it, Silence. Its frustrating as all get out.

[@reesedaniel5835]

It's spiritual warfare.

[@seankingwell3692]

organized gang stalking is real

[@rinmorinai]

I feel like that's me, especially since I'm the odd one out, everyone in my family smoke, I don't, everyone in my family LOVES being social, I hate it. It sucks

[@notVulture]

Thanks for this video. I was recently being blamed by my parents just because of some minor mistakes I made. They always compare me to my older brother who does more work on the house than me. They always say "You've got no help here at the house, the only thing you know is to stare at your phone for the whole day. It hurts me bacause if I forget to do a single chore they will instantly blame me and remind me my mistakes I've made. It hurts. I try to help but they never notice it anyway so why should I do it? I hope I can get through this somehow. Thanks again for this video

[@kevin-josephcruz8182]

This hit right at home. It gotten to the point that I am angry & frustrated. Sometimes I get angry outburst and rant. And they use my flaws & mistakes against me. Been standing up for myself and focusing on my goals. But the words & actions they've been doing towards hurts as hell! No matter what I do, I'm criticised and scrutinized. I'm trying. I'm trying....😢

[@a.westenholz4032]

And at some point you stop trying when you realize it's a lost cause. That often the whole point of having a family scapegoat isn't really about you but about serving some function for them. That they can dump all their mental garbage and issues, individually and as a family, on you in some way. So they will support each other in the chorus opinion of your general unworthiness and no matter how hard you try you will never change their minds. They don't want it changed. Regardless of what they may say about how they wish it was otherwise or things were better (if they never really listen to you or try to change things about themselves that hurt you, then all that is meaningless words said to make themselves feel better about themselves).

[@ASimpleBall]

This hurt.. l relate to a lot of this. It’s almost spot on but for me they also tell me how I’m supposed to be all the time and never get recognized for my efforts. It’s never enough and it’s only considered “enough” when I do something exactly how they wanted me to.. not my own way. No one took the time to teach me certain things and whenever I did try to learn I always got criticized for how imperfect or slow I did things and I think it’s why I stopped trying all together. This video makes a lot of sense.. thank you for sharing. I finally have a word that describes how I feel

[@Unrel8able]

I never realized I was the family scapegoat until recently, and then I took drastic measures to ensure I will not ever put myself in a position to rely on them ever again, and now I have successfully chopped them toxic POS out of my life for good, and I am THRIVING without them. thanks for maknig this video.

[@k.m.5819]

Gosh this is so me, but now that I am a adult I can and have put that horrible cycle to rest. Prayers for anyone who went through or is going through being the family scapegoat 😥

[@GiblesWantToHug2651]

Just want to appreciated this video that I feel a bit warm inside now, all the videos are very wonderful but this one hits close to home. Thanks so much especially for this one! 💕

[@siennaprice1351]

My stepmom did some of these things, but if I blamed myself for everything, I was disciplined for it. I was even hit a few times as a way of her taking her anger out on me. She expected me to be perfect and not do certain things due to my blindness and autism. If I explored and touched everything around me, look out. If I ran into something and got mad at the fact that I ran into something, look out. I was told that I could help these things. I even had cruel jokes played on me because of my blindness.

[@dean8705]

I'm so sorry. That's so awful.

[@kylemertz7949]

One of the hardest things one can go through. Get out and start your new life. Once you get away the healing can start and the liberation is like nothing else. Im sorry to anyone who has had to go through this. You're amazingly strong. Long live the scapegoats!

[@subhashree2912]

I am 20 and it is still clear in my head how my mom use to say "she can not even count to 10" I was a slow learner infact I was always the dumb kid in my family. I still remember I cried in front my English teacher once that I can't go back home with these marks, she called my parents and made sure its safe out there at home and it was the moment someone stood up for me.

[@relaxing_music]

It is very important how parents raise us from childhood. It is the parents who determine the future character of the child by their behavior. I advise you to pay attention to how you raise your children. Peace for everyone🌿

[@DJH97]

Exactly. All of my sisters and I have been married multiple times. My father beat us and my oldest sister then beat on me. Then she started hitting my kids. That’s just a morsel of all the crap I’ve been through. Those parents will NEVER look in the mirror or admit to anything they’ve ever done. I’ve caught my mother in so many lies and she just denies every time. My father idolizes her and would make me go “hug her” every time I would bring something up. They would go years without talking to me rather than admit doing any wrong. It was a nightmare. Walked away.

[@Kenedy19]

This channel always post the most relatable things ever

[@Munoken94]

Let me just take the time to say that I'm glad I came across this channel and that I'm not the only one who had to live this kind of lifestyle as harsh and twisted as it was and still currently is between myself and my "Family". To see that so many of what was motioned here described my life growing up so accurately that its actually scary. Putting 2 and 2 together also made me realize just how messed up everyone in my family truly are deep down. I was just too blind to see it all these years. All I ever known was nothing but negativity and doubt being around them as the scapegoat but watching this along with a few other videos on this channel has not only given me some reassurance but also some peace of mind and for that, you've gotten yourself a new subscriber.

[@writesbyshadi9689]

the ending just struck the deepest chord in me. thank you so much for the insights :)

[@seraph7498]

I’m always blamed for everything, especially for things my brother does. And I’m not allowed to say everyday words such as “no” and “I dunno” because apparently it’s disrespectful

[@bethwalker1891]

I definitely was! My Mom shared this with me the night before she passed! She asked for my forgiveness? I always thought that I wasn't the person that needed to change in this family! Because although I changed, nothing changed! It felt like there were someone else that needed to make a change! I've learned that although I want a relationship with the only family I still have left, they aren't ready! And I know now after I gave my Mom the forgiveness she needed! Well, I needed it too! I know I'm a great person! And I know that I have tried and I've reached one of my nieces! And we have the beginning of a wonderful relationship! And I so nervous and handling with kid gloves! But, I keep praying for this place I'm at! And to be honest, I am finding myself alot stress less by not being in their lives! And I'm very tired of fighting to be a part of their lives! But, my love for their parents, my siblings that have gone to their homes in heaven! And I've been so lonely after my Mom passed because she was the last of my immediate family! And I've got to realize that right now I'm way too needy! And I have to find other ways to fill that loss! God is amazing! Thank you!

[@serenegates6650]

Your channel is the BEST! Thank you

[@user-vg2bp6zz8b]

Born to young parents , made to be in competition with my younger brother , ignored even when I've done my best all my life - after the death of my eldest son and then narcissist partner abuse , I left to see them for comfort - they turned their back on me, my younger son and great grandchildren - they just rub my nose in my failures.

[@michaelhansenjr.9661]

This video relates to me because I eldest sibling in my family. Therefore, I get yelled at the most, don’t really get the attention I need, or even get respect out of my other two sibling. Also, every time I tell a closed friend they always said that is usually for the eldest to get blame and cursed out, but I don’t believe that how it supposed to be because I am strong believer about what god said “don’t do on to others what u don’t, what to do on to urself”.

[@fufu9066]

No, my family isn’t like that, but that is me to myself and mind.

[@bluedragon1309]

Same here ;_;

[@matharobinsonsalami6364]

This was one of the BEST i have seen Loving it

[@KaysontheJackal123]

The first sign is true for me. I’ll get yelled at by my stepdad, and the thing is, it happens every day. He’s stressed out about things, and so he takes that stress out on me, and it’s so frustrating because I feel trapped, and because he’s basically a second dad, I listen and do what he says, even I don’t want to anything he says because he either yells or has an attitude. I think what adults forget is that teenagers, though they may be more developed and independent than children, they still deserve respect and the pressure that is put upon them constantly is not necessary and just takes a toll on their mental health. I cannot tell you enough how much I despise being a teenager, because it feels like I can’t make mistakes. It makes me feel like I can’t do anything right, because I’m always going to be criticized for everything I do. The pressure just keeps building and building, and won’t stop. “Oh you’re practically an adult, you should know these things,” is basically what I’m told for things I don’t have much knowledge on. The thing is, I’m not an adult! Age shouldn’t matter for certain knowledge on something, right? Or, if I ask a question, all I get is “You have a phone, look it up on Google,” instead of getting a valid answer, I’m just told to use Google, which can be unreliable. Even if he knows the answer and can very well explain it to me, that’s what I’m told. And then all he notices is when I’m on my phone! I do chores, I read, watch TV, ect. but he never notices that. I’m a writer so I’m always making up different characters, worlds and stuff, and it’s just better reality than real life.

[@champagnegold8614]

This video tells no lies. This is exactly my life’s story. Every single point is my life.

[@theguestmask4211]

All i can say is you can't change toxic people, the only thing you can change is how you handle them.

[@jenl6686]

I just want to say thank you. Thank you for making this video

[@R.D.Rai.205]

Watching this video hits me hard. Tears come by. I wanna hug my younger self so bad after endless cries and hurts in the past. Thank you for the enlightenment. Take care.

[@Someone-xy3ng]

*Signs You're The Family Scapegoat* 1. They treat you like a metaphorical punching bag. (0:37) 2. They talk bad about you to other people. (1:11) 3. They put a damper on your achievements. (2:04) 4. They project their own mistakes on to you. (3:09) 5. They blatantly ignore you. (4:16) 6. They treat you differently from others. (5:09) I'm really sorry if you are having to go through something like this. This is one of the most difficult phases anyone could ever have to go through. I really hope things get better real soon for everyone, please stay strong and stay safe everybody. Hope you have a great day/night, take care.

[@Bruce_Wayne35]

God bless you for sending out positive vibes to everybody.

[@teresadvorak6145]

Yes,this describes how my 4 out of 6 family members treat me. I have went no contact with them. We are all getting to old to play this stupid negative & damaging game

[@venushimatcha]

Dang this is basically me. My Mom is abroad so I have to stay with my grandparents. All of my family relatives just hate me for some reason. Even my grandparents tell me nobody is gonna like me. I'm just glad that I made real friends in high school otherwise I wouldn't be able to endure these all

[@XxBrittany20xX]

I am 31 and was the family scapegoat. I cut ties 6 years ago and never looked back. Im now healing and happy ❤

[@nodwolf]

I... Can't watch this right now. I mean, everyone of your videos that I can relate to has always made me cry, and gotten me a step forward in the healing process but... This one... I have to save it in my watch later for when I'm in a space I'm able to actually break down again. I can just tell... Thank you for posting content that makes me feel less alone, more visible, and... Able to love and be loved unconditionally. Thank you Psych-2-Go. I'll watch soon, I promise. I owe it to y'all, for my progress and for the fact you took time and care to make this. 💚

[@Psych2go]

Sorry to hear. Take your time! We hope this video will help you in your journey of recovery.

[@Jastonrouse0311]

I feel like I’m the scapegoat and it weighs me down heavily. I do just about every chore at home while my siblings work( I’m still looking for a job since I was disqualified from joining the army). If my brother does clean around the house, he gets more praise and my nana is always saying why can’t I be more productive than him. She often badmouths me while talking to others. I got a scholarship for a music school, and that was dampened.

[@pollytheparrot8929]

Run away as fast as u can.. I'm in the same position too.. No job and will never be good enough for them! Looking to get lost ASAP.. God bless😍

[@Moraenil]

45 years and still going being the scapegoat. The only difference to this video is that without siblings or other family living close by, I was always compared to that imaginary perfect kid that doesn't exist anywhere but everyone knows about. That's actually worse, because you have no one to try to get help to improve or anything. I never did anything right (still don't), I get blamed for everything possible, and any real achievements are because they did the work. Anytime I got an achievement on my own, without help, it was completely ignored or even hated. Unrealistic expectations make this worse as well as micromanaging control over me even as an adult. I live in constant fear that I'll be kicked out of my home after they destroy everything I own and I'll have nowhere to go. Even tried getting married to get away from it all, just to find I married another one who treated me the same way, yet worse. Left him and ended up back with the controlling family. I've given up on the idea of ever finding anyone who likes me for who I am. I don't even really know who I am.

[@joannesahadeo9295]

Thankyou SO much for this!!

[@marvelboy_mb]

This video is so good! It really talks about me, greatful that you uploaded it :D

[@jeffreyelya9996]

Clicked on this because I can clearly answer yes and no as to being the family scapegoat. I'm much more misunderstood than anything else. I relate to this, but I don't at the same time. Growing up, it was about trying to keep me healthy, and attempt to get my brain to function normally. I don't hate my family, but I've kept them at a distance because we don't understand 'Jeffrey', and I'm admitting to not having good mental health. For me to be healthy mentally, upstairs in my brain would be to have all the gaps together and not have to fight the autism. Have tried to tell my family that Dad's folks are not worth the effort because they've managed to isolate themselves and thrive on their own self righteousness. I feel sorry more for my father than I do for them. My brother wouldn't shut up as a kid, and that got him into trouble most of the time. I'm not going to post what he did to me, but he's got an attitude that he's carried into his adult life that I just don't like.

[@darsirabbit8595]

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

[@paigejustneedstocope]

My family has actively and openly (amongst our own family) called me the family scapegoat. I’m not sure where it first stemmed from but it started being openly said when I was 9. It was a joke. It was a joke, but everyone I tell that I’m called the scapegoat now seemed to think it odd or in a negative light. I had my eyes opened to just how narcissistic my parents were a few years ago, and now that I’m moved out, I still keep our relationship good but there’s still things I’m salty about. It wasn’t until this video that I realized that this scapegoat title is actually a thing, and surprise surprise, several of these points I identify with hard! Look how good and smart all my other siblings are. Never talk about me. Just a tag along. Left behind. The punching bag. Put me back in my place when I get so bold as to have an opinion that’s different. I’ve had no success in my life and I never will. But I can see that my parents seem dissatisfied with their lives and are trying to live through their children. My mom has told me to my face that she doesn’t want my younger sister to have her life be like mine, and I still don’t know what’s wrong with my life in her eyes. Imagine. Imagine they’ve been calling themselves out for so many years and I never realized it. Cause it was a joke.

[@darsirabbit8595]

Ahahahaaahahha. Cool

[@michaelpowell-ngatchou6274]

I got sent in to various situations in the family and was told that my presence caused whatever tension was occurring. Once I left long enough, they said my absence was causing the tension.

[@jorgefreitas5983]

This was not my case when I was young, but I'm leaving a comment here to boost the algorithm and help this video to reach whoever may need it. Keep up the good work!

[@MourirSarin]

Finally, someone who gets and can explain my daily nightmare.

[@MourirSarin]

Wow a year later and I am still bring scapegoating

[@Hope-ws9jl]

I live with my grandparents, I don't like my father because of my stepmother, she manipulates my father and talks back about me obviously in bad ways. My grandmother always keep on cursing me since I was young, my father's side of family always make me feel to disappear, I have been a scrape goat for my stepmom and grandparents. Well I am totally used to it. Thanks for the video Psych2go

[@khlokhlo6474]

Omg I'm just seeing this video now, idk how, but my family has been doing this to me for years, since I was about 7 or 8(i'm 13 now). I've been struggling with this and my family has literally been emotionally damaging me for about 3 years, this video helps so much!

[@cnk3751]

Loved it❤ So relatable ! Best part is it has solutions for how to cope up with thngs if u experience it.

[@gnarthdarkanen7464]

I was sort of the scapegoat... It was more like the "go-between" when my parents couldn't effectively communicate their arguments to each other... AND instead "dumped on me"... At the time I took it so my little brother wouldn't have to... AND mostly I blamed my father... Then something happened. I joined the Navy... AND from having to reckon with an overtly sheltered upbringing to being in a semi-controlled environment to "finish growing up" I learned enough self respect to "sound off like I've got a pair" and that came with the caveat of being absolutely SURE what I was saying, so I COULD say it loudly and proudly... Back home, the parents (without me to soften their sniping) ended up dumping it all on my little brother... He suffered a nervous breakdown... bordered on suffering a second one... AND in less than 2 years without my "go between" role, the divorce was final, and I had to find out by the WORST birthday card ever. Who sends a birthday card to tell their child (even a Young Adult) that they're getting a divorce AND dying of cancer??? Yeah... my BIRTHDAY card from my father... That's how it went... along with the obligatory "Happy Birthday, son" message that made it official... I was offered a Red Cross ride back to the States to sort things out, but I politely declined... I wouldn't be any help anyway, as I saw it, and at least on the ship I had work and GOOD friends to keep my mind occupied through the remainder of the cruise (Med')... I would be getting leave soon enough to let the holidays sort out my personal sh*t in due time and that was well and good. I didn't need to waste days off to fly all the way home for a week... for what??? Help pack and move the remainder of my personal stuff out of the house??? Nah, neither parent (this time... finally?) was going to get rid of my stuff, so I stuck it out. I did come back home for my mother's end of life care. I could do that... AND she did say she was most proud of her two boys out of all the things she did in her life... SO that was a nice (if dubious) turn around... We were a "tough love" family, and our dynamics weren't always healthy... or right... BUT I also learned that kids don't come with instruction books... There's a library of "how to" about raising children, but it's also not always of the best notions either. We subscribe to a school of thought, and that's the authority in our lives, often formed from our formative experiences AS children ourselves. Since we "turned out okay" then that style of child raising can't be all bad... Or so our mentality is formed... It CAN be a huge amount of piss poor information, though... AND I'm not defending the indefensible. I'm only seeking to help folks maybe understand that it can still be abuse and we don't have to put up with it any longer than it takes to GET HELP. There's also value in just understanding where the abuse comes from. ;o)

[@stayhappylittlemermaid]

Dreams are motivation but only a few will go get it.