Single Best Strategy for Gaining Your Child's Respect

[@KRiderMan1248]

oh wow this makes a lot of sense. Sometimes we forget that kids are people too.

[@cherls15]

Hi Lori. I'm a single mother (the father left when I was pregnant) and I can't begin to tell you just what a difference you have made in my life and my son's life. His happiness and well-being is paramount to me and because of you I've been able to stay in a calmer state. This doesn't seem like a big deal but it really is a massive deal to me. Also, because I am on my own with him, a lot of the time I feel very alone in my parenting endeavors and intentions and now when I watch your videos (I feel silly for saying this) I feel like you are there for me and serve to make me a better and more conscious parent. If people watched you a 100 years ago...the world would have been a better place today. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

[@teachthroughlove]

cherls15 Thank you so much for watching. You are part of the tipping point... we are changing the world. A better tomorrow for our kids.

[@fatimamian4533]

I completely agree. Great effort Lori!

[@justmelc6040]

God is with you.

[@GameChanger597]

@@justmelc6040 Amen. No one is alone when they have God with them, and God is with us all the time ❤

[@kabosekoele-onlinemathtuto277]

This is incredibly sweet

[@forrafrench9292]

Hey Lori ! I know of a mother with 11 children, who has spent much of her near 50 years with or around children. She is a people person, and has a reputation for being a good mother. She told me that your videos have helped her in just a short time to understand how to be a much better leader/ mother to her children. You have been very helpful - thank-you!

[@maya-lingreen5413]

Thank you so much for these videos. I just gave birth to my second child 3 weeks ago and Ive noticed over the period of adjusting I have a lot less patience with my 9 year old little girl. Having a resource like this is incredible.

[@shelpow]

I repair with my eleven year old by "chatting" on sheets of paper. It takes the pressure off of an uncomfortable situation and we enjoy it immensely.

[@spetrov6270]

Thank you so much for this video. Gets us out of the permanent assumption that parents are always right and kids always doing the wrong thing and misbehave

[@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382]

Parents are not always right we know what is right but unfortunately we employ the wrong strategies

[@katrintoh9505]

im a teenager and i approve of all of this. she is right

[@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382]

I’m glad to see even teenagers looking at videos like this good for you Katrin

[@kabosekoele-onlinemathtuto277]

This is brilliant. Children respond to love more than anything else and these tips resonate with that principle

[@niamhelleson1769]

I sometimes use an approach called comic strip conversations to look back on a dispute . Carol Tray developed comic strip conversations and it's like the book in the video you made. Thank you for postingN

[@andrewroberts2367]

Props for the Eckhart Tolle shout-out

[@medgineeugene1241]

Thank you for your work🙏 The world benefits from more love ❤️Your concepts mirror Emotion Coaching. I love being on the listening end of this experience.

[@stacipage1197]

Your tips are so logical and simple, extremely useful and smart. Its a wonder that i had not found you sooner. Your teachings are making such a difference in our lives. I value what you teach as a gift so, thank you.

[@teachthroughlove]

Staci! Thanks so much for watching and I'm thrilled to hear that these videos are helping your family! THAT is why I do them :) xoLori

[@virginiabrewster808]

staci page

[@friendz906]

This would have been so helpful for my parents! My parents typically accused & judged which got us no where. I'm grown, and I love my parents but I wish our connection would be better. I love these! I take care of my nieces & nephews it helps a ton!

[@aliasgirl9]

arlene macias We have to trust or at least give parents the benefit of doubt that they did the best they could with what they knew or was available to them. I felt neglected as a child but maybe it was in part to hiding in my room as long as it wasn't meal time because both of my parents smoked and I couldn't breathe. Anyway, I have more resources available to me now and a hope for a deeper connection with my own children now so that I can do the best with what I have right now. I hope, or at least expect to hope, that they will want to do better than what we're doing now. And so on and so on until healthy relationships are common and unhealthy ones disappear. It all starts with a dream for more, hope that there's a possibility and being able to forgive those for what we weren't able to receive ourselves. You're doing a great thing for your nieces and nephews.😊👍🏼

[@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382]

Thanks for sharing this really helps when we can identify some ineffective strategies that our own parents used so we can hopefully change it in our own lives

[@sandra3845-s5w]

Omg I just found your channel and ive already seen about 5 videos,

[@sandra3845-s5w]

I really need your help with my two toddlers my girl is 3 and my little boy is two. And I sometimes have areally hard time I have depression(scince age 16 now 23) and I live with my husband and his family and they fight all the time screaming saying cuz words all the time (only between the though never to me or the kids and I know that doesnt make it any better) I dont want my kids around this type of energy!😭😭😭😭😭. I cry every night wondering if im being a good mother or not. I dont know how to be happy I feel like I dont deserve my kids. Sometimes there are good days when my kids are good but when my husband and his family get home from work my kids start acting out and dont even acnowledge me at all only for things they need and I know that it maybe because I am with them the whole day. But I hate it when I say no to something that I dont want my daughter to have and my mother in law gives it to her even though she hears me telling my daughter no. (For instance when my daughter hasnt had diner or any food yet, she will ask for candy and I tell her she has to eat first and say no, so she goes running to her grandmas room and tells her to gove her candy and I swear im not lying everytime she gives her everything she wants im soooo tired of living with this family they are so crazy I had never experinced in my family this type of behavior my parents allways respected eachother and that is what I want fo my kids to see not some crazy people. I feel like im loosing my kids like im not educating them the way I would want to, I have no one to tall to I just moved to a new home about 3 months ago away from my family. I sont know what to do anymore I dont even have my husbands suppot he doesnt ask me if im doing ok he doesnt worry for me and my kids. Im all alone my parents are a couple of states away and so are my sisters. Im going crazy I dont know what to do anymore please help me.

[@JesusHelpMeParent]

My heart hurts reading your comment and I pray that this situation is improving. The number one thing to focus on is respectfully getting your husband and you on the same page. That may require help from a counselor, pastor, therapist - someone with training in the right area, but if you two are on board together, then a lot of other issues fall into place. Having your own space to raise your kids is also important but again you will want to get your husband on board as well. This will help you establish some healthy boundaries.

[@GameChanger597]

@@sandra3845-s5w your in-laws are being very inconsiderate and dismissive of your rules for your children. The best way to handle this is to calmly and respectfully tell them that you don't want them to be confused when you give them directions and they go to someone else and get different directions, for instance you said no to the candy but in-laws said yes. Just remember, they are not above you and you are an adult oh, so you have every right to let them know how you're feeling. If you feel this is absolutely not an option, you can just tell your two children that they will be punished from now on when you tell them something and then they go to their grandparents if they don't get it from you. You can also let them know that they must ask you first and not the grandparents for things like treats and privileges so that you can completely put in end to this behavior without speaking to your in-laws about it. Aside from that though, the most important thing you can do is pray. Ask Jesus to help you with patience and to bring peace to the household and for himtoo cause your in-laws to see what they're doing is wrong. Also ask Jesus to help end your depression and he can relieve you of that forever. it may happen immediately or He may take you on a journey to remove the depression from your life. If you get nothing else from what I've said, at the very least know that God is listening and you are NOT alone. He is waiting for you to talk to Him about ALL of your problems- your needs, your wants, your feelings, your disappointments in life, your depression, your husband, and everything else that is hurting you and He is ready to help mend those problems. God bless.

[@sadiaasif9351]

Great tips

[@rosiegalke]

I love it! Thank you!!!

[@teachthroughlove]

Thanks for watching, Sheila!

[@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382]

I like your repair approach I use it with my older children and email and text comes in very handy but I am curious about younger children I feel like there needs to be some more or other strategies that can be paired with the repair approach

[@teachthroughlove]

Hi PBB! (Do you know my friend from Parenting Beyond Punishment 😀) Thanks so much for watching. Of course, there’s only so much I can fit into one video. I offer a free Conscious Parenting Academy that offers much more on the steps and developmental needs of all kids even though my focus is on how we communicate with kids rather than on discussing strategies that are dependent upon a lot of factors. Thank you for commenting and sharing!

[@aliasgirl9]

A really great program that helps with and expounds on in practical ways (especially with younger children - under 10) is Circle Of Security. There are facilitators across North America who have taken the training.

[@ManOnTheMoon5]

You are really great Lori, I love your slogan ‘Teach through LOVE’. By the way I wish you ‘Happy Valentines’.

[@zanb5397]

Thank you so much !! N

[@MrsIn10sity]

I needed this

[@christopherlord7961]

Thank-You

[@shanawyatt]

Thank you, you are great.

[@mcsamy2000]

Wonderful :-) I love teaching with love . Right now I´m working as a security guard for a refugee camp and there are quite a few children. They love me and I love them, however I am still learning to help them change their behavior that´s absolutely intolarable, like playing very loud, hiting each other, or similar things. The others say I sould yell at them, but I don´t think that´s the way. What are the best things to do in such a situation? Thank you very muuuuuuuuch. Loads of love S@my

[@teachthroughlove]

Samuel, You are a gift! Children who have experienced trauma have less ability to regulate their behaviors. They often live in a state of hyper-vigilance (survival instinct takes over) and one of the most profound things you can do is to hold boundaries with kindness and to offer compassion for their experiences by listening to them without judgment. Try this playlist for handling anger and aggression kzbin.info/aero/PL0G_h7C6IqI15ZQ_k_r0IlkwWJ0A42COE Anger can be more pronounced in children who have experienced trauma. Thank you for watching!

[@mcsamy2000]

+TEACH through Love Thank you very much Lori, you're so kind.

[@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382]

Teach with love by being firm and establishing boundaries

[@relaxwithme__]

you are phenomenal!

[@Paradise6261]

hi I have a question for you, my child plays a little ruff at school, he just turned 6 years old. he usually plays better with older children. the teacher said; Diego your friends don't like you, they are afraid of you, because you play like that. my child is being saying like mom they don't like me at school.. then one day they call me at the office. that he was moving in his chair and playing with his hands, he usually finish his work before the other student, I guess he was bored, but the teacher was not happy,. when I was at the school I hold my son and hugged him, but the secretary told me, put him down your setting a bad example for everybody here in the office.. put him down. I feel devastated, I used to be quiet, when my child misbehaved. but that day, I though hei if they rejected him , I should not do the same., so I hugged him, but make sure he knew there will be consequences. Was the secretary right or I acted wrong. please help.

[@LuckyPigeon1111]

I think you were right. He probably didn't like that his friends hated him. Your hugging probably told him "I relate to you. It will be okay." He probably stopped crying. if he did, show the secretary how your parenting helped him feel better. They better be shocked! (sorry if that sounded rude. not my intention. )

[@julietrader8608]

+Paradise6261 who has the right to tell you not to hug your child? he was proberbly afraid and you helped him. it is very hard for kids to sit still. i think you did the right thing.

[@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382]

I think the secretary could have waited to talk to you in private if she felt the need to say something about your parenting style

[@pamelajoandrewsmaestas928]

If I ask her something she does not wanting to tell me about her temper flares. I never no what is a no no question to her. I hate when I am told it is none of my business, when it actually is. How should I react?

[@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382]

I found with my kids is to not ask much questions. I try to get close while we are doing activities and actively listen that’s how you get the answers to your questions it takes time and effort but it works

[@jeffreyh4250]

This is your first video i have seen and for the most part i agree with it. However my struggle with my son who is 4 is that when i try to open a dialogue he uses his imagination and creates fantastic stories instead of communicating facts. I love that he has an imagination and i understand he is only 4 but it frustrates me to no end that i am met with gibberish. Any advice?

[@aliasgirl9]

Jeffrey H he is still quite young and perhaps he doesn't quite have the language skills and the know-how to put the thoughts and words together in order to communicate things well. I suggest trying to communicate with him at his level as illogical as it might sound but through connecting with him where he is AT and not where you'd like or expect him to be. This is just my advice as a mother of who did just that and am now trying to repair the damage that it did in my relationships with 13 and 10 year old boys. My 5 year old daughter doesn't have the same issue her brothers had otherwise she'd be on the list as well. Hope you can find a useful nugget here. Also there is a program called Circle Of Security that was a tremendous blessing to me. There are trained facilitators throughout North America so maybe you can have an opportunity to check it out.😊

[@parentingbeyondbehaviours6382]

I think you have to gently redirect the imagination to facts

[@joycea3290]

The tongue.

[@sinfulyetsaved]

I have a crush

[@HenryWinehard]

What a lovely lady. : )

[@charl7508]

Orrr.......just dont shout at your children in the first place...lol