Single Black Men Share Their Experiences Dating in 2021!!! | Ode to Black Love Podcast |

[@MissJemima]

The host was immaculate. He let the men speak freely but he also represented women in a honest and non-patronizing way.

[@odetoblacklove3166]

Thank you so much for your response and for watching. We appreciate the love so much 🤎

[@MahaliaA]

I definitely agree! The safe space for both sides is refreshing ❤🙌🏾🙌🏾

[@Denise_Cocoa]

Love you MissJemima 💛 Everybody check her channel out!

[@Yannibratcher]

agreed !

[@sarahmmmm]

Yes! I really liked how he challenged them on their assumptions about what they believe women want. I hope they all watch this back and take something from it. Dude in the white hat got it, but not sure about the other two. Most of the disconnect is just everyone protecting their fears on one another instead of just having the necessary conversations.

[@PourLaMourDeLargent]

They basically admitting that they don’t have any intentions, they just collecting women out of boredom or habit (it becomes a routine). Like whet?!! She a whole human with feelings and expectations not an object to preoccupy your time between coffee breaks & video games.

[@PourLaMourDeLargent]

That’s why when you don’t be all up they asss they hit you with the effortless wyd or imy texts.

[@agatabigfataz5570]

result of no father figure

[@gremlingaming4]

@@PourLaMourDeLargent you completely ignoring why they moving how they move because you don’t gaf about what a man deal with concerning women . So stop the women are innocent and men are evil bs say how you feel

[@gamiegirl4078]

@@gremlingaming4 but what their doing dose not make any sense 🤷‍♀️

[@queenbbeaute2654]

This is exactly the game they play tho 🥴using women as objects don't even want us or not ready and want to drag us along out of boredom

[@artofaries1113]

These are the type of guys who would have a woman waiting for 5 to 10 years while they could be out and about talking and fooling with other women. Don't waste your time.

[@vanderumd11]

This can be a major take. I would say 10yrs without commitment is tough.. the family goal must be communicated. I know some women who seem to not be in a real rush to go all into marriage because they have seen parents and step parents not even work out. It's the fear of risk on both sides and small groups of humans just end up chilling for a decade in rotation.

[@christinebryant8354]

You hit it right on the head! Been there done that. The 5 plus year wait. That’s why I tell my daughter after 2 or 3 years keep it moving.

[@BlackGirlLovesAnime6]

Right they are describing men I want to avoid and this is what is pushed as black love. What a joke

[@howdydoody9]

Exactly! He’s doing luxury dates and meeting parents lacking self awareness. You don’t text a woman you’re interested in first thing in the morning after spending your hard earned money on a luxury date? Eww no thank you

[@ThurstMETV]

You must earn this position from a man. You don't get the title of wife just by showing up. You have to add value or the questions will always be "why be with you?" For what?

[@InspiredUno]

Men will pursue who they want. End of story. We as women put in too much work, there’s no need to pursue, chase, or try to force a man to date you or date you a certain way. They already know what to do, they just aren’t going to do it for every woman. That’s why it’s important to allow him to set the pace and follow his lead. Healthy men will not move beyond what they’re comfortable with. As women we have to manage our emotions not to get too invested too early and start being demanding and controlling. I wish we could get back to being healthy about dating and not creating more pressure to move too quickly. This has to be balanced too with not allowing it to extend too long either. But, that’s where doing the inner work comes in.

[@khrisstake2210]

This was a good statement. But this IS the problem with dating. Dating should be very short.

[@E.P.7131]

Very well stated!

[@Tan87ful]

I fully agree with you 💯💯👏🏽👏🏽

[@JaeElise]

@@khrisstake2210 who you trying to sell them wolf tickets too ? Dating does not need to be short . Time does matter so people need to take their time . Dating is collecting data on the person you’re interested in. You have to be discerning and strategic with everyone . People show who they are after 3-6 months of dating if they’re tired of putting on this false mask they perceived themselves to be in the beginning. This is why you need to ask important questions and calculate people based off of REAL LIFE sh*t and not about aliens and sh*t. People shouldn’t be flattered in the beginning of dating.

[@khrisstake2210]

@@JaeElise I agree. Asked the deal breaker questions before the first date. Get a background check. Instead of that 3 to 6 month vetting where you only see them for couple hours, spend a few days at their house or yours. Way quicker to understand who they are. Dating should be short

[@marycr1179]

I hear my single friends talk how dudes don’t want to date. They trying to come over eat what you cooked or just Netflix and chill. Do they know how to pursue a woman? Are they interested in real relationships?

[@LisaR139]

Your friends are right, smh. Dating is trash 🗑

[@gremlingaming4]

They don’t trust y’all for good reason that’s why they only wanna do that . Most of you can’t be trusted you only gaf about what you and other females been thru y’all don’t gaf about our experiences with women… that’s why you so confused wondering why they only wanna smash and Netflix and chill

[@queensunflower2989]

💯

[@BjtheLawyer_]

Just find a man interested in getting in a relationship. It’s not rocket science

[@E.P.7131]

Define dating? Going to a restaurant, eating and asking each other 50 questions? I'm in Atlanta, that gets expensive when I can easily meet 8 women a week, then talking, texting, & video calling for a week or two... then when we meet, she's heavier than her pics depict she hid her weight with long flowing clothes, her skin isn't as smooth as her pics, etc. And I feel played because we're already out and I have to pay even though I lost interest before ordering drinks. Then so much is lost in translation when texting about everything. Initially conversations should be on the phone, then in person. Too much texting is disastrous. So no, men don't want to waste our time, money & energy. If we just Netflix & chill we are able to see you in your element, peep how you keep your house (kitchen & bathroom), and women can do the same when they come into a man's space. Also, in a pandemic, it decreases chances of infection from being in public. Not to mention, when men say no to dating it eliminates the women that only want to be treated & have no intention of taking anyone serious, they enjoy the restaurant more than the man's company.

[@AmaraReyal]

Very wholesome.... I hope they really understood their contradictions, so they can take real action and change.

[@therealsouthernbelles]

Girl BLK men you talking about. That won't happen date out your race

[@rsppj9122]

@@therealsouthernbelles WOW!!

[@khrisstake2210]

@@therealsouthernbelles why would you show up with this comment?

[@Zikomo7]

@@therealsouthernbelles I’m so proud of us seeing the forest for the trees

[@sakpase88]

@@therealsouthernbelles 😂 😂

[@unpopular2]

Wanting To Be Taken Care Of Doesn’t Mean She/He Needs To Be Saved Or She/He Is Broken

[@taylorwhite5593]

Most women do not want a man they’re dating to “pay they bills.” These are just the type of women y’all want to date. Y’all be so busy tryna date the IG model types when you know damn well you ain’t got no money 😂

[@Sunny-cj5ic]

You all must be young. If you are feeling her, why wouldn’t you take her on a date? Once again it’s about conversations. You have to let the lady know your intentions and how you plan on dating them. Talk about inconsistency of phone calls/texts. It’s really simple. We have to be open and transparent. And how could you expect someone to be exclusive without you telling her? Tell her so that she can/will.. But this was a great video.

[@GreenyieTyD27]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@cray3902]

Agree. I’m only 30 minutes into the video but the guys sound so young to me. The problem with both men and women today is we expect perfection physically, mentally, and financially. I would NEVER agree to go to a man’s home as a first date. Not only is it super dangerous but it would give me the impression the man only wants sex and nothing more. Every woman wants to be courted but society (or whoever men have collectively decided to listen to) have taught men that they do not need to impress a woman, Whether that be with conversation or a great date. Sitting in a car as a first date is a no. How about a picnic on the lake or the zoo. Nether of those are expensive. Men are so afraid of being played that they’re playing themselves in the end. The right woman notices your effort whether it’s expensive or not but it’s the effort that counts. Netflix and chill with a stranger or sitting in your car is minimal effort and no one wants that.

[@prettyladie8327]

Omg they sound like a bunch of kids..

[@MrTampaMan]

@@prettyladie8327 These bros are 25+, if they're babies.. yall 45+..

[@prettyladie8327]

@@MrTampaMan lol

[@Realtalknewyorkwithjanique]

This is why women must be getting compensated for your time and body! They are looking for someone to use! They go from Woman to woman for a good time with no intentions for those women!

[@gailainsley6939]

You are very correct..women have realised that alot of guys just want to waste their time so its hardened them. This is why most have now become all about the money. Sad but true

[@gremlingaming4]

0 accountability for your actions, blaming men for everything you do wrong saying we cause the behavior. You sound like a child you a grown woman blaming your behavior on others and telling lies while doing so as if every women or most are innocent even if they had a good dude . What you just did is the main problem with “black love “ unaccountable childish females

[@vanderumd11]

I understand and it goes hand in hand with the data suggestion that a small population of men are attracting a large percentage of women.

[@aurielle.g]

Hardened or heightened standards???

[@howdydoody9]

@@gremlingaming4 You have a lot of anger in your words to complete strangers. Your comments are a red flag for a sane emotionally mature woman.

[@debbydooks2241]

@@gremlingaming4 thank you for being the poster child of the problem. Great example of what us women go through with you all. Carry on.....

[@kaylad1669]

“If you gon waste my time then waste your money” 😬 sheeesh! This is exactly what’s been going on with our generation. The fact that nobody on the panel could establish when they would or how they would express exclusivity with a woman when dating is very telling! The gentleman in the blue and red hat was trying to pull it out of them and he explained it very well why women react the way they do when men are not decisive in what they want. Shout out to him because he made the most sense! You should definitely be able to tell a woman that you’ve been dating whether or not you want to be exclusive with her without her having to ask you a multiple times and even without setting her boundaries. Men should express to women what they want from them. Period. A lot of dating issues would be solved with just that notion alone. Stop holding on to ppl you don’t really like just for convenience or access to sex. It never works out for anybody that way. Women have started to drift away from men because of this and I don’t blame them. It’s like “we’ll if I can’t get the commitment from him, then I’ll just get the bag instead”… smh 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@melgood8]

Because he’s married. Peeped the ring. And avatar in the beginning. I agree with you.

[@prettyangel0921]

Yep. I was talking to this guy who just wanted to be "friends" because he wasnt ready for a relationship. I said cool we can be friends and go at your pace. For some reason he assumed I wasnt gonna talk to other guys in the meantime. Had the nerve to even get mad at me. I told him talking does not mean we are exclusive. When we are in a relationship (boyfriend and girlfriend) then we would be exclusive. Words having meaning. Titles have meaning. I move accordingly. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@vanderumd11]

@@prettyangel0921 wheew yes ... Males have a tendency to be unequal because of being selfish. You just always want a woman to say first if they are having sex with other dudes. It's usually not the talking thing that hurts like the physical. A lot of work is needed in the community

[@kerrye83]

It's because you haven't provided enough or the value he is looking for to lock you down. I see a lot of women with this issue and it's on you! you entered a relationship with a man without setting proper expectations of what you want or boundaries. Most men will shit or get off the pot when you are clear in your intentions but understand in today's dating market, if you are doing well as a man (good job, confident, charismatic , you have the leverage on women. Women wanted this so you got it... a deregulated dating market.

[@kaylad1669]

@@kerrye83 no lol I make my boundaries clear from jump, the problem is that men do not do the same. They can be very vague or misleading and then don’t understand when women get hurt by that. I don’t stick around for the bs, but if I am, I most certainly want to be compensated for my time. That’s what my comment is about. Women who stick around for the niceties a man can provide in lieu of a real commitment because they might as well get something out of it if they’re not getting the honesty and commitment they’d prefer. Women shouldn’t have to leave you in order for YOU to determine how you are going to treat her. That’s your job to clarify! Stop dodging accountability and tell women if you want to be with them or not. After that, yes the rest is up to the woman.

[@GreenyieTyD27]

Not all women who want men to provide need to be saved. I think our community just need to be honest about the ppl we choose to go after and give attention to. It’s really tiring constantly hearing men say women only want money and the pool is small when it’s obvious that they continue to attract the same women over and over. Same can be said for women who date bad guys. Something has to give. And what’s wrong with taking a woman on a date if you are interested in her. Building takes effort on both ends. I think a lot of people don’t understand that relationships are so beneficial and are more than a title and labor.

[@peachy-4u]

I totally agree with u- especially ur last point. I think jus by going out really doesn’t mean anything, we’re friends getting to know each other in a public setting. it’s a whole different vibe from being at the crib vs being out, and (no necessarily but,) physical expectations might b different at the crib.

[@GreenyieTyD27]

@@namegirl28 You are right about us being breadwinners but, I believe they are talking about black women but it’s a certain type of black woman which they consistently try to date (i.e don’t have nothing but looks).

[@CharCharJars]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@Tyda777]

0:01 Ladies wait!!! Hell nah, Ladies don't wait for a commitment. He doesn't want to commitment that is his right, so just move on to the next. Sis don't waste your time on waiting on commitment 🤢

[@WhydoeslovehurtsogoodChannel]

I would love to have you on my podcast talking about relationships situations. Please take a look at the information below and let me know. kzbin.info/www/bejne/iGOlooJqrtuSp7c

[@normandy2501]

@@destinyschild5768 Even if people think it's forward, I do believe women should just be straight up with that as well. If you know you want to be in a commitment that can lead to marriage, then let that be known at least within the first few dates before 2 months in.

[@superhooper425]

@@normandy2501 and also to your point if a man is actually pursuing if he does not share his initial intentions he may not know. I do expect a man to share his intentions upfront. It lets me know how to move. I am thankful for the guy I am getting to know. I don’t have to question.

[@MrTampaMan]

@@destinyschild5768 Doesn't that go against some women's "probation period "? Many women say 3-6 months to commit on dates upfront.

[@Mskiki1942]

Facts

[@jessicamarie9304]

This whole conversation is the reason I’m single . It’s honest confusion. I feel this is why women require so much from men up front because down the road they (him) control commitment & relationships & can make you feel all the feels but y’all still kicking it 6 months in. What will they have to show from it all; the time , sex, emotions invested. All to find out we’re just cool. It’s sad that We live in a time where everyone feels like they have so many options and so much time . It’s like no. Situationships at its finest. I appreciate the dialog though. I really just miss the days there was no social media . 😣 Moral of the story . Meet a husband ready for a wife. Dating will come .

[@xiaolongbaoenthusiaist457]

This is why women need to have HIGH standards and FIRM boundaries. No more allowing males to disrespect and waste your time….cause they will not hesitate to do you dirty and lead you on. They just said so themselves.

[@chaneljai4804]

Sis I completely agree with you and I’m beyond over it. Really getting content in my singleness.

[@ZariDV]

It was genuinely appalling to hear someone admit that they can get so complacent and checked out while engaging with a woman that you forgot that you'd started courting her and instead started wasting her time. Like the fact that he didn't even have the respect to speak with the young lady and state that "Hey this isn't going to go anywhere serious" rather than stringing her along. I've seen more respect, self awareness, and gentleman-like behaviour from my 15 and 17 year old ex-boyfriends back in high school. It's like the maturity of some men have been severely stunted. To then have the nerve to think you're at all ready to date a woman is true audacity. It's so wishy-washy and immature. The fact that a woman ever had to ask you what her status or your intentions are after 2 months is disgraceful. At that point you need to stay single until you get it together. I feel so bad for American women if this is the what the dating pool looks like because holy fuckin yikes.

[@jessicamarie9304]

@@ZariDV I completely agree! Like I feel like if men would just lead with their true intentions from the beginning us women would move accordingly. Instead they move with what women want to hear and after they get the prize the real intention comes out . Like literally, it’s insane

[@BlazinStreets]

These men are where I was before in my dating phase before I met my wife. So I have my reasons why I got married. 1. You gotta be comfortable with yourself regardless of the outcome. Therapy and understanding how to be vulnerable is major for us men. 2. Dating with intentions is key. If you’re serious about finding that someone, your actions will follow through on that very easily. 3. The woman who keep things simple is the one that you should pursue: Easy to talk to, easy to read (facial expressions, body language) and has no problem reciprocating efforts. 4. Safe space. Having a safe space with a woman is so powerful and when you find it, you’re home. When you can share it among each other it just makes you want to pour into her that much more.

[@noirefit5954]

I wish more men thought like this

[@d.kj.n1392]

☝🏾this!!

[@ReciMT]

When dude said "Coffee Date" that told me enough right there. All the stuff these men are saying is overly exaggerated. And it seems like the are not in tune with reality. The reality is, quality women don’t want them. So the keep attracting the same “prototype” of women. In one breathe they say, these women want you to save them and they don’t want that. But then they say she says “I don’t need a man” and she too independent. Help me understand. They want a woman to not be “saved” which is really weird to even say that and then they don’t want here to be too independent to feel like she doesn’t need him. You don’t want her to need you for anything but want her to need you? I’m confused. I see why they single

[@MrTampaMan]

They're speaking about their experiences. Can't reject their words. Your last part is conflicting to me. Everyone wants to be needed, in some way that compliments each other.

[@prettyladie8327]

I agree..it sound like CAP 🧢…ain’t no quality woman that is well off would deal with such foolishness…It makes me wonder did they have active Fathers, & if so, to what degree

[@FirstnameLastname-vi7hm]

They don’t know what they want.

[@hrrspaul4]

This is why 61% of black men are single and childless l felt no male energy just a bunch of emotional feelings…if the host said l feel like one more time l was ready to throw my damn phone…women are not attracted to the BS…This is why men who exude masculine traits which is less than 20% of men get 80% of the women…single mothers raise the men they eventually hate…

[@aliyahharmon9045]

Yeah I could never bring men like this home and just the way they dress I’d be embarrassed to be walking around with them let alone giving them the time of day. They’re not getting quality women because they’re not men of quality

[@MzSam2U]

I definitely liked this show. When the question was asked about when to tell her she the one or girlfriend! They all stumbled over the answer. I think A Lot of men are dating without intention and it is a waste of time for men and women. I believe in telling people upfront what you want. You might be surprised I might want the same thing if you just upfront.

[@jasminejohnson4707]

Lmao wait, they offering coffee and chic-fil-a for a first date lol! After weeks of conversation and FT calls? I’m cracking up.

[@Denise_Cocoa]

Girl 😂😂 I’m 32 dating older men and recently had to pass on that same offer. At this big age, you need to put some effort into dating. It’s an investment. But, men pay for what they want and see value in. That’s why I try not to rush the first date, to establish a connection and value

[@donte3di]

What’s more important the date or the person?

[@khorediathiam1976]

“I’m tryna be something I never seen before “ wow I think that line didn’t get enough of a spotlight 👏🏾👏🏾because that is the reality of many of us. Men and women. More of these pleaseeee

[@tonaejefferson2312]

First time watching your podcast. Great interview. Would you consider doing this with older/mature men? By the responses I can tell they are maybe late 20s. Can we see this done w men in their mid 30s to 40s?

[@odetoblacklove3166]

Yes we plan to try to find an older group to do this with as well. The older generation is a lot more private so that may present a few challenges.

[@misterwoosah5862]

@@odetoblacklove3166 Where are y'all?

[@just_queen_che6706]

My thoughts exactly...just kept saying how old are they?! Can't be over 30 saying things like I'm not taking her on dates. How the hell else yall getting to know each other? How a woman supposed to feel comfortable with you coming to your crib...same way you don't know her she doesn't know you. That's so cringey. This convo went from the meeting stage straight to serious stage. Intentions of what both parties want is so important. Your intentions should be solid regardless of the person. It's the foundation of how you move in order to get what you want. Lead with your intentions and men fail to set intentions

[@kaylad1669]

@@just_queen_che6706 facts… that’s what they were failing to realize! Intentions matter and even more so stating your intentions and then acting on those intentions would solve most of the dating problems today. Much love ❤️🙏🏽

[@sandracharite4355]

I agree. I think this was a great conversation but not relatable to me because they are not in my age group.

[@melaniecebardleymcknight3965]

When I was dating, my preference for a first date/meet and greet was coffee shop, ice cream parlor, or cupcake shop. It only takes a total of 10 mins to gauge interest, attraction, and to consume a drink or dessert

[@JayDaReactor]

Yeah do something slight the first date, conversation and once you see if it’s a go or no then either pursue or go separate ways

[@kyathecreative]

This was a great video giving insight on this current generations struggles & mindsets. I pray these men will break the cycle. We need more fathers, husbands, and partners that will carry & raise the younger generation up.

[@xiaolongbaoenthusiaist457]

Males have a completely different set of standards for themselves compared to what they want from women. Most men are not interested in being better boyfriends, better husbands and better fathers.

[@misterwoosah5862]

Respect to the young men, but there is room to grow. I appreciate them coming on camera and sharing. I hope they look back and learn from this. Intentions need to be clear.

[@bxcutie4life2007]

This guy called a basketball game and insomnia cookies a "luxury date" uhm ok. Lol

[@noirediamonds241]

I wanna meet these women who are running around expecting to have their bills paid by men they don’t know… it’s sounding like an exaggeration tbh.

[@normandy2501]

They're probably only talking about the IG/Only Fans types that are mainly looking to hustle, but it does remind me of the video of an older guy bragging that his woman never paid for anything she had for herself. Realistically that's just less likely to happen for people living in 2020/2021 vs the 60s and 70s.

[@MrTampaMan]

Been there a few horrible times. It's not a exaggeration, No use to meeting them.

[@gremlingaming4]

Keep playing stupid like you don’t see materialistic women everywhere and you will keep seeing men who don’t take you seriously… these games go both ways girl

[@therealsouthernbelles]

They don't have any money and it's definitely exaggerated. A woman expects them to pay for a date and they will say she a gold digger 🥴🥴🥴

[@30jersey478]

No mam. Some of these women really do exist. Long story short, I exchanged numbers with a chick and she curved me. Later on, I found out she basically had a sugar daddy. The guy was at least 20 years older. I saw them together twice. She is not an IG model. She's a regular BW that has a good career and makes her own money but wants someone to spend money on her. Looking back I'm glad she curved me.

[@godsdaughter1264]

😐…… chile The best thing I got from this video is what NOT to entertain

[@champagnemami5161]

Factzzzzzz

[@ChocolateTruffle98]

I really appreciate the host keeping the an objective women’s POV relevant in the conversation. It made the content digestible and led me to be more open to the men’s POV. Some similarly formatted podcast I’ve seen end up being one sided with the women’s POV only being mocked or misrepresented.

[@sippsation4459]

He is married so I see why he kept the women's POV relevant.

[@therealsouthernbelles]

Wait until engagement ladies. Until then date and date out of your race too . More options

[@damonenthusiast8624]

Stop lying to these women.

[@MelaninPoppin__]

The host kept using the term “courting” but they have NO IDEA how to do so. Yet they want to be courted. 🥴

[@kendraphic87]

While they are Netflix and chilling, they are creating children in this toxicity..with women they don’t desire to really be with or commit to. Glad I’m single beloved.

[@theeamazingkrabb5358]

Exactly. Pump and dump culture usually leads to broken homes and babies outta wedlock.

[@TheWinnie42]

Say it again !!

[@mamamack1024]

Facts!!! But then the next guy judge the woman for having a child. So it becomes a horrible cycle. I’m older and I still say if they want to mash or just lay up “say that” a few women will go for it. But instead they damage the decent women and then leave them with ‘baggage’ and it’s sucks that only black men treat black women this way (openly). Other cultures respect their women and protect their women!!! 😮

[@Denise_Cocoa]

“Only dead fish go with the flow.” Be intentional, but let it be organic. That’s with everything in life. But have FUN. People think being “serious” takes the fun out of dating, so they run from commitment. People are dating from a scared/defensive mindset and one wrong move or miscommunication, they’re ready to cut you off (Guilty lol). We gotta realize we’re on each other’s team, and not enemies 💛

[@zol2415]

I like these spaces where men can be honest with each other. I think marriage is so important and we have to heal as a community so it can happen more. I really enjoyed this video.

[@Nykesia]

I watched a video yesterday where black and white women were asked would they date a men who didn’t have any money or less money than them and the white women unapologetically said no while the black women’s answers revolved around building a man up. That stark difference is a direct reflection of how non black women are socialized compared to black women and that socialization comes from the men within those communities. The reason you will only ever see black men having these discussions is because non black men base their manhood on the resources they can obtain for their community and wether or not they can provide for their families. There’s a severe lack of male leadership in our community that has left a lot of black men (obviously not all) but a good chunk of them who simply don’t know what manhood is and have no idea how feminine it makes them look to constantly tell the world their issue with women who seek financial security in a man. I really feel bad for the black women who believe these types of conversations, desperately wants a black man and refuse to widen their dating options because the goal post is going to continuously be moved. The comment made about a woman wanting someone who makes 7 figures stood out to me because often times you hear these men say this but they never mention the type of women requiring financial security. It’s not the everyday woman who demands that, it’s a woman who possesses a certain look that wealthy men desire and pursue. (Like the saweeties of the world) The three men in this video who were complaining about hypergamy are not the type of men those women want and that’s their issue because they want those women. In the same way they feel a woman shouldn’t desire a man who makes more money than she does, they shouldn’t desire a woman who’s hypergamous. Go where you’re wanted and find your equal because the men who can meet the 7 figures criteria, aren’t complaining about it. Don’t be mad at them for setting expectations that you can’t meet. If you’re mad at the men for leading with their money in relationships, that means you’re in the wrong arena. You can’t compete with those men. Find your lane. There’s plenty of women out here who don’t require a man to make a lot of money or even more money than them especially black women but these men don’t want those women. Which is why as soon as they get a little bit of wealth they go on to date, marry, and procreate with the very group of women who are socialized to seek financial security in a partner. Statistically most black women in relationships to black men make more money than them but also statistically most wealthy black men are not married to black women so there’s a huge contradiction being that this it the only male group who publicly criticize women who expect them to be providers. In one breath we’re told we’re too independent, too masculine, don’t need a man and we should’ve chose better but in another breath we’re told our standards are too high and we’re gold diggers. Which one is it?

[@odetoblacklove3166]

INTERESTING!!!!

[@AngelHxze]

Girl, you hit the nail on the head! It's so embarrassing to see men complaining about being expected to be providers. My father never complained about having to provide for his family and he never failed to do so either. My siblings and mother did what we had to around the house as well and didn't complain or contest his authority. That dynamic would have been so different if he had the mindset of men these days.

[@Dr.GD4]

I believe it goes both ways. I agree with a few of your points, though. I'm a 28yo black male physician and my current girlfriend is biracial (black/white), just to put things into perspective. Yes, amy black men do grow up without a father figure, thus don't quite know what it takes to be the man of the household and don't understand the responsibilities. Not all men can solely provide 100% in today's economy. The average black man earns $45k and the average white man earns 55-60k. The reason white people aren't having this discussion is because most white men had a father figure to emulate and provide discipline when appropriate. They also saw how respected the father was from the mother. Without this dynamic, which is the case in many black households, there will continue to be black men who don't understand how to be a responsible father figure. As a black man, we need to do better on that front. Now with black women, since many households are run by single women, they need to be the men of the household (masculine). A lot of the masculine energy is translated to the daughters as a result of watching the mom. Many black women today can come off as aggressive and masculine which is a turn off.

[@Dr.GD4]

Lastly, I plan to provide 100% for my family since the career I hold will allow me to do so. My standards for the woman I chose were very high. My thing is people should stay in their respective lanes. If you are an average man, you get an average-looking woman, etc.

[@sunkissed6413]

After listening to this conversation I’d rather be single for the rest of my life!

[@aceazar2806]

Watch Tony Gaskins videos sweetheart

[@donnahouston6958]

@@aceazar2806 Yes Tony Gaskins Or Rc Blakes

[@aceazar2806]

@@donnahouston6958 Yup! Those two are my go to! I don’t know any other men on their caliber. If you find another teacher as worthy of being on a list next to their name (men or women) let me know

[@crystalthesocialworker]

Did they just say they don’t take women proper dates because it will lead them to think they are in a relationship????😂😂😂😂😂 oh lord.. no wonder they can’t find quality women bc they wanna do coffee dates and couch meet ups. No quality women is going to go for that.. they trippin 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@laurawilliams4087]

Right!! that part had me laughing this generation of "men" is sad. These are the same type of dudes that expect sex from you and dont even want to tak you out on a proper date. I rather be single than waste my time with these type of dudes.

[@prettyladie8327]

Girlllllll, likeeee….the one in the gray is destined for greatness tho..

[@marvinpercival4820]

Quality woman loool 😃

[@howdydoody9]

@@prettyladie8327 no he’s not. He’s actually the most chaotic one his vocabulary is just better than the two on the couch.

[@prettyladie8327]

@@howdydoody9 lol, maybe so..I mean he expressed the desire to be a provider etc, tried to see some good in him lol..Truly all three sound like women..

[@nicolenicole1105]

It was a hard pill for me to swallow that no matter how you slice it, men want to be attracted to their spouse and they want peace. Being overweight and stressed all the time would never be acceptable even though I was/am successful and responsible. With that being said, I wish men would understand that women do not want to compromise on security. Trying to rationalize not being able to provide and make decisions for a family will likely be met with contention.

[@ChrissyAnn85]

Even if you’re attractive and in shape men will still step out on their wives and girlfriends with mediocre out of shape chicks on the side lol.

[@nicolenicole1105]

@@ChrissyAnn85 I agree with that. I hope you don't think my comment was aimed at how to prevent a man from cheating. A man who wants to cheat will cheat. My comment is about what men and women in essence are attracted to regarding the opposite sex. Women generally want security and Men generally want peace and beauty. When pple can't bring what the opposite sex desires, they try to say they shouldn't have to bring it in the first place. 🤷‍♀

[@christinac.3973]

@Nicole Nicole …well said! 🎯

[@marvinpercival4820]

@@ChrissyAnn85 all men cheat go find ur jesus and leave us alone.i have money houses and business no woman help me to achieve that so why should i be serious because u r young and pretty.that dont pay my bills r add to my account .

[@joyblessing2011]

Well said. I can relate 💯. Definitely was my reality…

[@SheilaTrueLove]

I've been married 2.5 times, and trust me when I tell you, being SINGLE is so much more PEACEFUL, and Waaaay BETTER. I DON'T have to do ANYTHING I don't FEEL like doing. That's one of the main things I LOVE about being SINGLE. I NOW have JOY, FREEDOM, BETTER HEALTH because STRESS was removed, NO MORE ACCELERATED AGING, A HOME THAT STAYS CLEAN, and so much more to be GRATEFUL for. Some marriages may be o.k. but there is no such thing as a PERFECT MARRIAGE and because of that you are going to go through a lot of DRAMA, DYSFUNCTION, ARGUMENTS, Having to Put up with someone else’s MOOD SWINGS and ATTITUDES and you're going to have to do a LOT of things you may NOT FEEL like doing. MARRIAGE to me was HELL. Also, more importantly REMEMBER, when God put the FIRST Two people together, Adam and Eve, they were BOTH PERFECT People. That doesn't EXIST anymore. People CHANGE over the years. I know I have. You could wake up one morning sleeping next to a total stranger or a DEMON after a few years. Every woman DON'T want to get MARRIED. Not every woman wants a BALL and CHAIN they have to be SUBMISSIVE to. In other words, you have to REDUCE yourself back to being a CHILD....We had to be SUBMISSIVE to our PARENTS when we were children, now when you get MARRIED you have to go RIGHT BACK into having to be OBEDIENT or SUBMISSIVE to some Dude...A LOT of MATURE, INDEPENDENT, ADULT, MENTALLY and EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY WOMEN are NOT INTERESTED in SIGNING on for that. Like I said previously, I HAVE NOTHING BUT PEACE, JOY, A HOME THAT STAYS CLEAN, NO ARGUMENTS, BETTER HEALTH DUE TO LESS STRESS, NO MORE ACCELERATED AGING, I DON’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING I DON’T FEEL LIKE DOING, AND FREEDOM TO COME AND GO AS I PLEASE AND SPEND MY MONEY AS I SEE FIT! LIFE DON’T GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS FOR ME. I LOVE being a FREE SPIRIT…

[@jaijai5250]

I’m with you 100%. I raised three children alone. Only one is still home, but when she was at university; and I was living alone; and it was pure bliss. There is immense peace, joy and contentment with living a simple life. Having a beautiful , clean home is wonderful. Waking up in the morning and the kitchen is still clean. I cook exactly what I want to eat. I go for walks and do stretching. Life is even better for me because I took early retirement last January. I’m amazed when people ask me “what do you do?” I’m blessed in that I know what makes my soul sing, so I’m never bored, and I love my own company. A lot of people judge you by their own standards, and think that every single person is lonely, lost and depressed. They assume everyone is like them. I have everything I need. I have a relationship with the heavenly Creator, I have my health and strength, I have my south facing back garden, in my beautiful south London, Victorian home; and I have sweet reggae music. HalleluYah

[@hello_04]

I feel every single word of your statement sheesh that’s the truth. The time to focus on my health and growth instead of catering to a mans moods and needs and EGO smh. No thanks. People act like being married is an accomplishment not an additional chore. My personhood needs no make cosignment!! I love your comment

[@filmfestivalradio1]

Thank you Ms. Sheila. Right there with you on every point!

[@miszsaii24]

I know what you mean. These men are lazy. We work just like they do. Therefore, men should help with laundry, dinner, cleaning. Let’s go 100/100 not 50/50. Then be wanting p***y. No! I’m tired!

[@MrTampaMan]

@@miszsaii24 That's basic help to me ,even after working 60+ weeks in a hospital.

[@forevershyneice_]

Dating is just hard in general because when a good women comes along we aren't recognized and we are a lot of times looked over and fckd over. We can be koo tryna build all of that. And still not get treated special or taken on dates. We are overlooked Smh

[@AlliFromTheValley007]

BLACK WOMEN we deserve better than this. do not settle. pay attention to what they are saying. run when you see these red flags. men like this will wait too long till they are old and settle with someone and miss the one who got away or die alone.

[@aashmusicnow]

I had such high hopes for this conversation that I randomly stumbled upon. Never heard of your podcast before. But the part where he says “just bc we were on a date, women think we’re dating now”… why are you taking women out on DATES if we’re not dat-ING!? I’m so confused. All these single men don’t really want to date then. I concur with every comment below. Y’all be “dating” with no intentions, and that’s just not dating at all. That’s you just tryanna find a friend with benefits. And if that’s the case, be honest about that. They said they wanna ultimately find a black women to make them complete but don’t make the steps to do that. Uhm, yes y’all are TF confusing, bc how does that make sense. Y’all want commitment without being committed. That’s really what this whole convo showed me

[@odetoblacklove3166]

Ooooo! Thanks so much for your feedback. We’ll be doing a part three and we definitely plan to bring this to their attention to see what they think 🤎

[@patricerenee1717]

In all honestly this is largely a Black man issue. All men can play but at the end of the day most grow and mature past that. BM forever in Peter Pan Mode. Or when they settle down it’s. Something like… “my woman taught me…she showed. Me… “. All BS. If you’re a MAN. MAN UP period.

[@noirefit5954]

@@patricerenee1717 I COMPLETELY agree! I’m 27 and I’m almost at the point of giving up on them for good. I keep attracting men that see me as a mother figure and I don’t like that at all.

[@bollagurl]

@@patricerenee1717 I agree. The white men have been way more forthcoming with what they want in a relationship with me, it’s been clear , no games. Yet I keep waiting for BM to come around

[@eliottmorst]

but he aint say that tho.....they just went out......thats it.....he was being nice........a good man takes a woman out a few times dont make it a date.....its hanging out with the opposite sex...thats all

[@TuscanWonder]

I always got the impression that because there are so many options, many men don't want to commit. I haven't got through the whole interview but I know that this is left unsaid many times, but people choose not to be forthcoming because they don't want the missed chance of access to somebody that they're physically attracted to.

[@bclassy871]

😤 it’s the OPTIONS with Social Media you have access to people you won’t see everyday and a lot of men don’t want to commit.

[@vanderumd11]

@SMB Girly Girl yes many communities are pushed to go at marriage differently. The fear of risk isn't stronger then their families pressure.

[@vanderumd11]

@SMB Girly Girl in my circles literally 75% of my frat Bros families said. Married with kids by 25. Doesn't matter if that young girl is perfect. They want grandkids

[@vanderumd11]

@SMB Girly Girl yes sure. The reality is most of them have been divorced once or twice over the last 10 years. These were predominantly European dudes. Grabbed and married some girl we went to school with. I will admit two of them knew they were dealing with some trash women .. they still went through with it. It's difficult for sure and still I've run across a lot of women who suffer from some type of depression.. it's impossible to make them "happy" they are torturing themselves mentally because they "wish" things were different or easier

[@Denise_Cocoa]

It’s options and unrealistic expectations from social media. A specific archetype is promoted on social media and men want what they want based on the physical, so automatically a lot of “normal/average” women are overlooked

[@ListentoThestoryofHope]

Here’s the truth 8:15- SOME of today’s men are deflectors in the accountability department. When asked “what do you look for in a woman” the ONLY thing they could come up with after having the host rephrase in two different ways was “ambition” … humm.. then right after DEFLECTED and begin to talk about how we only want money Now how often do women get put down for that exact quality a woman would call a strength and men call masculine & unnecessary qualities but yet he wants it… Make it make sense

[@Foxarocious]

54:24 it took awhile, but he had to rip it out of him lol

[@tk4l210]

Here’s my question??? They just said women ask them what are we is too bold? Then complained that women assumed they were more based on how they treated them on dates? So wouldn’t it be better for you to just have an adult conversation? Communication is key, proper communication can help avoid conflict…

[@therealsouthernbelles]

Why did KZbin recommend this too me 🥴🥴. I hate it here

[@kaylad1669]

😂😂😂😭😭🤦🏽‍♀️

[@msve3730]

Put it this way. Who you intrested in is not intrested in you Who your not intrested in is intrested in you

[@shakera02]

Excellent dialogue! My favorite point made, "The quickest way to destruction is no discipline. Always feeling like I can do this (just) because I can do it. Being able to abstain away from certain things, there's beauty in that." ~ Day'Quann. Ode to Black Love Good stuff Gentlemen.

[@LittleMissDeeDee]

Great channel discussion! I did cringe at some parts as I do think some of the talking points were very idealistic and it’s evident that these men still have a lot of growing to do, however, I’m glad they’ve had the space to be open. I will admit, that this conversation has proved to me that a lot of people (men especially) are unintentional when it comes to dating, and prioritise collecting women like Pokemon, rather than thinking about legacy, and who they feel it fit for marriage. Women are tired of having our time wasted and our bodies used for consumption with the promise of a commitment that for some, never happens. Some may argue that these women don’t bring enough value to the eyes of these men, but I don’t understand how a man can spend MONTHS with a woman and be confused as to why she’s expecting a commitment. Also, this idea that desiring a date is asking for too much confirms that the bar is seriously low for a lot of people. I pity women who convince themselves that they’re not worthy of proper courtship and prioritise the sexual desires of unintentional men, over their own desires for love, commitment and true intimacy.

[@JayDaReactor]

That’s not all men, you have to realize that the guys on this panel are young and most men don’t find themselves till their 30s. I know me I date to find a wife, that’s why it’s a process and not a quick flip

[@Empower3d]

I’ve learned from my experiences that we have to take responsibility for who we choose, But not total! We have to do a better job molding and prepping ourselves for a partner. Actually taking the time to mend our traumas. Men and women. I think if the women you’re encountering always want their bills paid, maybe it’s you whose choosing the icing than the filling.

[@Bri_Brit]

All of us don’t want u to pay our bills. We just want to be loved. It’s the social media women who have that mentality. Us regular women just want a good dude with great character.

[@royattarussell8130]

All the guys in my family are dark skin men they all have Mexican women so to listen to you talk about how u want a black woman is mind blowing

[@stbnetwork149]

its because they are lying. Have you ever seen other races make entire videos about problems with black women like they do to black girls. do you see mexican men making entire videos about problematic latinas no. Remember Black women only can be loved by eachother everyone else wants to see us dead

[@Thatbul]

@@stbnetwork149 go to therapy. Most people marry within their culture, last week a black women made a post saying that black men do date black women, if you don’t experience it, you’re just ugly. She not lying.

[@Machenziethemodel]

This why I single. I’m not an IG/Social Media person for dating. Just going with the flow can waste your time and time can not be recovered once it’s gone.

[@ItzCleverYouth]

As much as the internet over simplifies "Men bad, women good." Everyone is just trying their best out here, and it starts with: Respecting your time. Respecting yourself. Respecting your energy. And respecting your efforts. When doing so you can avoid unnecessary frustration, and without frustration you gain success. Through that success you will learn to grow.

[@prettyladie8327]

The one in the gray has potential, the two on the sofa🥺🥺This was so cringe worthy, feminine, fear based, Immature, & filled with conditional thinking..oh & CAP😒 The one with the plaits is truly a broke down, limited vocabulary mess..I wish my daughter would bring such foolishness home…I wish I could see what the women look like that entertain them…

[@vanderumd11]

That would be a good one. Bring the women they deal with on

[@sweetg1239]

Lol this video was very unsettling but it definetly makes since to how the dating world is for bw/bm. how is telling someone "Good morning beautiful" is doing to much? lmao and meeting someones parent is "routine". In what world is meeting someone parent "routine". Its giving lazy and purposely obtuse while being manipulative

[@staceofstylesg8958]

These men are clearly young. The host gave great leading questions, however, the men have no clear intentions. It’s pretty much go with the flow. The man with the gray hat said it best-“WOMEN SHOULD HAVE BOUNDARIES”. The ball is always in our court.

[@brittneypine6628]

I honestly can’t remember the last time I’ve heard a black woman say “I don’t need a man”. These days when I say I want a good man it’s my Latina girlfriends who say they don’t need a man. This was a good interview though.

[@KeenaButtah]

it's truly an old outdated rhetoric and i rolled my eyes when the topic got brought up.

[@MrTampaMan]

I've heard it ,at dates. It used to stun me.

[@damonenthusiast8624]

You heard it. You just chose to ignore or join in

[@brittneypine6628]

@@damonenthusiast8624 yea I’ve heard it but not from black women. All my black girlfriends have been very vocal about wanting a man. My Latina and white girlfriends on the other hand take pride in saying they don’t need a man. For the record they now all have a man. I told one of my Latina friends about this comment and she agreed and thinks this is hilarious. They say they don’t need a man and they’re not shamed for it.

[@MrTampaMan]

@@brittneypine6628 Where you all reside? In Tampa ,FL. ,it's leaning towards women who been independent with aggression.

[@ishaspeaks4536]

These are some handsome ass men but just by their body language and listening to them I can see that they go for a certain type such as IG/ Twitter models and that’s why they wondering why their single. Listening to them would want me to take someone that’s more older and matured not saying that they’re not matured enough because I don’t know them personally. I think they should explored other options and come across someone who is a nerd, socially awkward or just a regular women who’s not into all the materialistic things.

[@MightyIntellectual]

What I took away from this video: #1 Many men are confused about what they want + there seems to be little self awareness. You attract what you are fellas. #2 Too many of us are trying to protect ourselves from hurt instead of just loving freely. #3 People are holding on to past trauma instead of seeking therapy. #4 We all need to set boundaries during the courting phase to help with the confusion + be HONEST about what you want.

[@odetoblacklove3166]

Those are great takeaways 🤎

[@CourtChanelle]

Thanks for sharing very insightful! Appreciate all the guys that participated. One takeaway for me was when one of them mentioned marriage is a great thing and should be desired because it gives discipline in a world that says do what you want…because at the end of the day…do what you want does not help you grow into the person you want to be. That shed some light on why you should hope for marriage. Thanks for sharing again!

[@Chikou14219]

I appreciate the honest sharing of feelings from the guy in the right. The men on the couch are not datable. There’s no way in any reality that I’m going to your home or having a CAR DATE. Reject. Get your creativity up. It does not all cost money.

[@joyoneal9173]

Oooh I get it, ✍️ they don’t want a women that desires to be provided for but their ultimate goal is to be able to provi… 🤔 wait a minute 😅

[@Sinedu95]

This is actually a good episode. Black men having a healthy and authentic conversation 🤎 Whether we agree with some of the stuff they say or not, let's appreciate these young men being open and honest. And doing so tactfully This is way more tasteful than those other pointless podcasts people choose to listen to And I really appreciate this podcast because the interviewer remains neutral. He doesn't show bias. He tries to see things from all perspectives. He isn't judgemental. And he asks questions that keeps these young men actively engaged in conversation. These men are speaking from experience and observation and not from a place of hate/hurt. Ladies, even if you don't like some of the things they're saying, please take it for what it is and really listen to these men speak. They're not being hostile or showing animosity towards women as a whole. I know there are a lot more podcast where people can have a civil conversation, but sadly too many people focus on the ones that bring negative energy. One more thing, you see that social media seems to be the common denominator here when talking about what's wrong with relationships today. We are all aware social media plays a negative role, so why do we keep feeding into it? Stop entertaining the bs you see floating on IG and Twitter and sit down with real people to have real insightful conversations

[@misunderstoodkj]

Whhhewwww chillllleeee!!!! So this is an example of the dating scene? My goodness! I really feel bad for my single female friends. I'm engaged. If it wasn't for meeting my fiancé, I would definitely stay single because all of the quality guys are not single.

[@ninamoore602]

I’m sorry going to the justice of peace is still a wedding. I did it and I have been married for 19 years and counting. You see more people who have big weddings and the marriage didn’t last a year. It’s not about the wedding. It’s the marriage you have to work on and keep it together. Thank you

[@Denise_Cocoa]

I know 3 people who spent tens of thousands on weddings in 2017 and 2018 and all 3 of them are now going through a divorce, unfortunately. I’ve always wanted a courthouse wedding with an extended honeymoon and down payment on a house. We can have a big casual cookout so our families and friends can meet if they haven’t already

[@MsCouve]

I agree with some comments that the men were contradictory. we could chalk it up to age, but there are older men that also think this way. Men hunt but you want the woman to put it out there first. I think it is best to be honest. I can tell a man I feel this way right now and if things change I will let you know at the time and then actually do that. People are scared to have conversations. I know it is difficult being honest and open, but people should become comfortable with the basic fundamentals of feelings. I like you. I want to get to know you…months later… I don’t feel the same, can we talk about it. But integrity also plays a role. People break up and still have sex …one person is going to get feelings. These men were “good/ nice f#^* boys” (no disrespect, just usually the vernacular of the internet). They are out here doing the same…being single doesn’t excuse it.

[@quishabellamy1069]

Good convo! The guy at the end with the all grey made the most sense. All of them are at different levels. But just seems like they going for the IG models or something… because statistically Black women are the most educated group of women in the US. So I’m not understanding why they act like they can’t find quality women.

[@heregoben]

y’all should’ve held each other more accountable for y’all views, that makes for better conversation, it seemed like y’all agreed on every aspect when y’all probably didn’t

[@yoshix8441]

If I could like this three times I would! I love the vulnerability and honesty... Black men are Kings! ❤

[@DrYettyBby]

It’s really good to get the black male perspective. Thank you for this.

[@odetoblacklove3166]

Thank you so much for listening!

[@hello_04]

Yes. So us women lean into the divest movement instead of wasting valuable years with these unstable emotionally stunted men

[@thecraplordsell4575]

@@hello_04 lol you’re not a value of lost to us.

[@tobekai]

Their answers are indicative of the type of women they interact with.

[@thatsthatPRChick]

If THESE DUDEZ consider themselves boyfriend or husband material then the bar is set in hell.

[@godsdaughter1264]

😂😂😂😂

[@MySignatureSoul]

Lmfao

[@kendraphic87]

Lol

[@SM-zu7vo]

This generation of black people seem lost about dating. Just listening to these guys talk make dating seem complicated. You either have chemistry or not. If not bow out gracefully and be up front about it.

[@glitter2glitz21]

This was real insightful and I needed to hear this. The coffee date guy nailed it with that question, I don’t want to be seen at night only. That one question about how should a women know if a guy is trying to take them serious had them tied though 😂.

[@mschaieme]

I think life is Simple We complicate things by not been honest to ourselves and others …. If we all communicate our true feelings in every situation we will remove all this stress you know

[@odetoblacklove3166]

Thats true too!! Thanks for watching!!!

[@vanderumd11]

Honestly if a woman has a man for over a year and he doesn't want to communicate commitment, he really believes he is In a space to replace with equal or better . It's hard but if full commitment is required for happiness you must put on pressure. No it isn't fair but I think it could work

[@xiaolongbaoenthusiaist457]

Watching this as a 21 year old woman is depressing. Males my generation don’t want to build and create, no to mention they no longer court women. Dating is “going thru a routine” for them and they wonder why women my age date males a decade older. When they are 35 they will look back and realize how many good women they missed out on/ hurt when they didn’t know better.

[@amiyaanthony2319]

Same thing I was thinking when one of the guys stayed “he feels like he wants to date older woman Bc females his age aren’t really trying to build and grow together” but I tell myself the same thing a lot of people in their early 20s having fun they not trying to create nothing so dating older guys is a preference for me

[@RickyTPB4L]

Why would he care at 35? That’s when he peak financially and can easily date a 21 y/o 🤣 you shorties got it backwards.

[@essiethebestie1]

Honestly. No one in their early 20'sshould be looking to marry or build with anyone. Man or woman. That's a time in your life where you should be finding yourself, falling in love with yourself, traveling, having fun, focusing on school & your career. That's what men in their early 20's are doing. As they should. But for w.e reason. Women feel like they need to take every relationship with a man super serious & their goal is marriage. Slow down. I know it sounds cliche. But it's the truth. Get all that fun out of your system first. Statistics show that the #1 couples to get divorced are couples who married in their early 20's. And right next to that are couples who have an age gap larger than 5 years. Them older dudes need to stay in their age bracket & stop trying to steal young women's youth. He got all the fun out of his system. Now he wants to stop younger women from experiencing the same thing. Most of the time they date women so much younger then them because younger people don't have as much wisdom & life experience. So they're a lot easier to manipulate & impress. Beware of men In their 30's looking for serious relationships with women in their early 20's

[@RickyTPB4L]

@@essiethebestie1 lmao you’re complaining about older guys dating younger girls. No one wants a 35-40 year old woman with lots of sexual partners and relationship trauma. You’re telling women not to get married in their prime years and peak fertility and all you’re doing is setting these women up to be unmarried childless and depressed. Trying to shame men because you waited too long to find a good one get the fuck out of here🤣 you’re the left over I

[@Thatbul]

As a 20 year old, most men that age are not looking for relationships. Let’s be honest, at that age, most don’t have their life together. Most guys that age are just looking to f a bunch of women.

[@iamenough6958]

Scarce???? All about perception! You guys should discuss the book 5 Love Languages! Young dating is so different.....

[@odetoblacklove3166]

Check out episode one! We discuss it a lot!

[@ronneishar1]

Shoutout to the host! He did a great job conveying the challenges we currently experience dating! Overall, I enjoyed listening. Definitely sharing with friends!

[@jasminejohnson4707]

The guy in the plaid is a therapist? HOW SWAY.

[@alona724]

The discussion about insecurities was real. I appreciate the honesty.

[@TheTez1990]

The problem I'm seeing from both sides is that neither one is dating with intention.

[@tasheers2282]

This was a great concept and every though parts of the discussion was cringey with these confused dating perspectives it was still a good conversation.

[@summertillery7158]

This was an amazing contribution. Shout out to all the panel for being open and honest. Oftentimes these conversations are not had in such a constructive way. Ummm I also feel like black women have to get use to listening to our black men when they open up. Y’all honesty and vulnerability is priceless. In the absence of our fathers some of us don’t know how a man moves.

[@kimchristopher8094]

Great to see black men having open, honest, positive and productive conversations! The host provides a great example from a married man’s perspective on the positivity of true love! Absolutely awesome!! Day. Quan’s clear and precise responses really shows confidence and a level of maturity! Great job sir! I randomly stumbled onto this video and it was a good watch 😊 kudos to all!

[@CharCharJars]

Just came across this channel, this video. When he said “women want to be saved” at first I was like, “what’s wrong with Christ being the head of my life” LoL Now let me subscribe, like, & go watch the women panel, lol

[@themattdreed]

One the most toxic things be thought is that we should be ok bye our selves and independent and we don’t need anyone. God gives use a desire for reason. The other lie is we need have everything in order

[@denishad720]

Men should not feel some type of way when a woman says she doesn't need a man. As a matter of fact, that's the woman you should be going after. WANTING a man and NEEDING a man are two different things that no one should be confused by. Who wants to be in a relationship with a needy person (that can sometimes have bad intentions)? Can you imagine being in a relationship because someone that needs you for money? Food? Shelter? To be an emotional punching bag and/or doormat? Just Sex? That sense of need is toxic in most relationships because there is a level of dependency that is unmatched. This goes for both genders, be in a relationship where you are wanted, not needed. You should want someone to make an active decision to be with you, not because they need you for something.

[@ZariDV]

Agreed. I think there's a disconnect in communication between some men and women. When men hear "I don't need a man" they think that women don't want men anymore and feel like there's no use or desire for them anymore when that's not what most women mean when they say that. For years women were taught that we're nothing without men and need them for our very survival. Modern women realized that a relationship is now a want as it's something optional, a luxury, something that's nice to have but you can survive in life without it knowing you'll be okay. Meanwhile a need is a necessity without which you will literally die. You NEED food and water vs you WANT desserts or a man. When women say they don't need a man, they're saying that they are secure in themselves enough to survive without a man but if the right one came along they would be happy for that. As opposed to being desperate and man-hungry, doing whatever it takes even to the detriment of your self and self esteem and even your safety just to say you have a man. Women who 'need' a man will put up with cheating, abuse, stealing, criminal behaviour, or men harming their kids over remaining single because the need is a desperate thing.

[@sugaandspice]

When he said if she makes more money than you you shouldn’t feel like you need to do more just support her and keep doing what you’re doing? If you can do more why not be your best self and inspire to do more?

[@allthingsdbloctherottweile1783]

I like the fact that the host used the term courting!! Remind you the host used the term courting not the panel!!

[@Jessicahowell1018]

I love me some black men so thankful for my king 🥰 #blacklove

[@odetoblacklove3166]

Love love love black men 🤎

[@kemikemzz8979]

I don’t understand this idea that black women are bothered by black men dating white women…… I don’t know any black women that care .

[@Foxarocious]

There's a vocal minority of BW that are "divesting" to "get back" at BM because they feel unprotected by BM. I have empathy for them feeling like they're unwanted or worse, uncared for by people of their own race. But they say and post some disgustingly foul sentiments like how all BM should be executed because we're (all) dangerous to BW and how they want to have babies with other races so their sons aren't "all-the-way black". The internet 😒

[@theeamazingkrabb5358]

@@Foxarocious theyre not divesting to get back at black men. They are divesting to find love and relationships. Its really that simple.

[@jabbaweezy]

Exhibit A: Bronny James

[@latoniaw.4252]

I absolutely LOVED this!!!! It was so refreshing to hear and see a panel of handsome young black men speak so intelligently about life and relationships, and actually WANTING to be married. I’m praying for you men and your future wives. Be blessed ❤️🙏🏾

[@odetoblacklove3166]

We’re so happy that you enjoyed it ✨🤎

[@AnthonyWilliams-qq6ou]

It’s women nature to want a provider , in the 20th century you gotta focus and have a bag period … homes , cars , travel, marriage even having a baby cost money. We need more black focused man on the high focus of life and gaining wealth for whoever they choose.

[@jannahumar336]

Subscribed!! And I just started the video lol 😅 thank you for giving us a little insight into black men's minds 🙃Gonna search for the podcast too! I'm totally a supporter 👏

[@nik-at-nite]

We need more of these convos. I definitely don’t agree with everything being said and there were some moments of hypocrisy and contradiction BUT it was still a healthy convo. I also appreciate you calling these men out on some of those contradictions because we don’t have enough men doing that. At the end of the day, we all start from somewhere and require growth. 5 years down the line they may be singing a different tune.

[@rohneshamhorne]

The host did a great job! I also like the guy who said women should keep boundaries. Watch Tony Gaskins, he goes into depth on how women should protect themselves. I believe black men and women can heal and come together using the principles of God.

[@Denise_Cocoa]

I been watching Tony Gaskins for years, I love him! RC Blakes is also been amazinggg in my womanhood and relationship journey

[@makeyourownbiscuits]

What’s crazy is while so many people are saying they need to date with intention or that they stumbled when asked when do they take it to the next step, very few realize the reason they can’t answer this question is because they have yet to experience something that allows them to feel secure enough to make that decision. Clearly these men all want love but there’s a disconnect between what they’re expected to provide and what they get in return. That will make any decision for commitment difficult.

[@kendraphic87]

They are accountable for their own intentions? Lol

[@4u2cre8]

The "Where is this going?" question usually comes up at around the 2-3 month mark. That's plenty of time to know each other's intentions and whether or not you feel things are headed towards a relationship or not. Most dudes know at this point. They just aren't trying to have that convo because they want to see how long they can get away with just "going with the flow" before she calls him on it.

[@amason8636]

This is my first time listening and I wanted to hear their viewpoints and perspectives. I wish there were a few more men who were older 35 - 50

[@dedra744]

The host did great trying to get the gentlemen to communicate their POV, however, some of the things they’ve said has led me to believe they haven’t dated a woman of “quality” per se. Courting a woman is the process of getting to know her, money doesn’t have to be spent the quality time is worth more than anything a man can buy. I’m 34 and single, I feel like dating has become harder bc sex has gotten easier. Some women don’t allow a man to work to earn her physically and mentally, and some men are looking to have relations only with no intentions to commit