SIS YOU'RE AN ADDICT

[@Rebecca-xh1wo]

"don't try to be friendly toward someone who is not friendly to you". I felt that

[@maann89]

So true! Made me a much happier person, i no longer care to please anyone who does not want to get to know me or even care.

[@CiCiMoya]

Shan's glow-up never ends 😩❤️

[@swoosh3684]

Because her money never ends.

[@Immortal_Hunter]

More like makeup. 😩

[@KatrinaE11]

"Gambling addiction to a human being" Damn that hit hard. I've been there...

[@BaileyBlurbs]

Shan sound awfffff!!!!! Omg I’m so over that whole “I have to have my shit together before I can be with you” The purpose of being together is GROWING together. Please make this a series!!

[@taelerrwashington9164]

TheBlurbs D. Ya but to a certain extent u can’t be with someone if u are literally a complete mess u know lol

[@BaileyBlurbs]

Taelerr Washington oh for sure! I’m saying we can both be getting our shit together (career wise, financially etc.) in a healthy progressive way that’s not hindering the relationship.

[@evergreen12321]

Taelerr Washington agreed!!!

[@soundstuff253]

I don’t think a lot of people will ever feel like they completely have their shit together

[@amantedelmarrr]

You're like the internet's big sister lol keep doin whatchu doin

[@JackyBerrios]

Change your narrative. CREATE YOUR OWN REALITY

[@moats5495]

damn she is SMART. QUALIFIED.

[@beybey9203]

Everytime I watch any of your videos, I get all teary- eyed from all the wisdom you are freely sharing to us who needs it. “You are not the summation of your career” you are more than that.❤️🙏🏼

[@nimrodgrrrl]

As a (mostly) reformed love-flooder, I do wanna contribute that from my perspective I was always giving the large amounts of affection because of something my partner did - it’s just that often I was overreacting to whatever it was that he did because I had been so starved of genuine kindness from men in my life. For example, I’m disabled and have been in some very abusive situations, so even the smallest amount of giving by a partner to me became sonnet-worthy. In this way, I think love-flooding is usually an unintentional response that most aren’t even aware is manipulative. Loved this video so much Shan! Thanks xo

[@shanboody]

I love when people give a unique perspective!!!

[@SistaSOLS]

I like the way you phrase things. It makes it easier to understand when communicating. And then you have a human moment of mixed up words, but thank you. This will make communicating with future partners easier.

[@arielxx8771]

You were speaking to me on that first one ..I have to keep reminding myself

[@TheBraverMe]

I love the love flooding vs genuine person example! I’ve wondered the same thing

[@chicagogirl14]

Going to need to rewatch the response to the first question a couple of times lol.

[@meghanhughes]

THE TEA IS HOT TODAY!!!!!! thank u for being so eloquent about this! I have so many friends to subtly send this to hahahaha

[@alybee28]

You’re really out here changing lives Shan! So proud of you and I will be ordering my book today!

[@chanicenunya7813]

Ok girl love the piercing

[@shanboody]

it's just a lil ear cuff I put in my nose ha! No piercing just a fun piece of costume jewelry oxo

[@ahhhaha]

Shan BOODY Love it! Resourceful and creative :P

[@LovingSoul61]

Great advice! I needed that reminder!! I so agree about American culture being too centered on the individual and career. Especially as an under 30 person, what we were told/our expectations as children of adult life are so radically different than the current economic and sociopolitical reality- that graduating high school/college and going out into the work force is really disappointing and challenges mental health so much. Our identities have been made so tied to our material success. Everyone my age struggles with this in a way that I have noticed most older people don't. They may have well paying jobs that pay their bills and take them on vacations here and there, though they aren't "passionate" about it, they're happy and base their happiness more on the stability their work provides and their relationships with their families, friends and communities. Recent events have resurged an importance in community and I hope we continue that. Other places that have a more community based culture are statistically happier. I just wanna be happy man lol.

[@louiswilliams984]

LovingSoul61 FACTS!!!!! The older generation’s paradigm isn’t our reality. It simply doesn’t exist for us unless we create it.

[@TaniniPanini]

Wow that last question hit me like a TRUCK I really needed to hear that. THANK YOU SHAN

[@SpanishFeedback]

I use your channel to improve my English 😊. You are well educated and intelligent 🧠...and so beautiful as well!

[@mariamahmed6409]

Your growth is my favorite show! Seriously, I’m so proud of where you’ve come these past few years, and I just want to congratulate you on the success of your book already! I’m so glad the time has come for you! Thank you, for the space you’ve created but more so the words you share. I always leave your videos with more than I have intended to learn, and I couldn’t be more grateful! Please keep on going, follow your passions! I hope to only continue see more from you! Xo

[@karlaherrera9358]

That slot machine metaphor is just the visual i needed, thank you

[@nithyargarg]

Shan Shan Shan...that ending statement couldn’t have spoken to me more. We do look at relationships like distractions and not as apart of a fulfilling life! I needed that. ❤️

[@groundingmycrown8291]

I ordered your book for my kindle twice and Amazon playing with me.. No worries, I'm relentless, I'm gone get my book!! 😜 So happy for you and happy to support you ❤️

[@shanboody]

this makes me so furious!!! Thanks for persevering Danie

[@groundingmycrown8291]

@@shanboody you're worth it ❤️

[@groundingmycrown8291]

@@shanboody SHAN! I woke up to see going going to be at The Lit Bar nxt week... WHAT?!? Look how the universe works cuz God knows how much I wanted this book aaaand to see you (I couldn't make it last time u were in NY last month) !!!!!! I RSVP'ed ASAP ... I seriously CAN'T wait. Summer highlight

[@cahierdepluie9590]

SHAN SPITTING WISDOM, AT THE DESK. WITH THE CERTIFICATION AT THE BACK...NOW, THAT IS A MOOD! (but seriously, you are beautifully inspiring and i (alondside so many others) are so GRATEFUL to hear you share your words. Thank you!

[@devyn5174]

“You are in charge of your narrative” thank you Shan

[@lovemamaken]

Yes, Shan! I love the advice you gave about being proud of who you are in the moment. I needed to hear that. ❤️

[@hollyrudisill7486]

I watched a few of your videos over the last few weeks. And I decided to make the commitment to subscribe your knowledge is just too good to pass up or potentially miss because I am not subscribed. Thank you Shan. Your words are helping me cope.

[@shanboody]

Welcome 💫💫🥰

[@wordsofwizdom7270]

You are dropping all kinds of gems in this video! Thank you for taking the time to do this 👏🏾👏🏾

[@MagdaAyuk]

Shannon, your book legit inspired a huge shift in my life. Besides the fact that I’m dressing better and leaning into what makes me me, I’m taking the frozen 5 really seriously. The other day I went to lunch with someone, and we ended up staying at the restaurant until closing lol we talked for seven hours. And I realized that conversation should be part of my frozen 5. I’d never connected with the people I dated in that way in the past. So, a huge thank you! Having a frozen 5 will save me lots of time and unnecessary drama. I’m telling all my people to buy your book!

[@shanboody]

Magda there is NOTHING better than being on this journey with you and knowing you intimately from the comments. It’s a joy, seriously! Also write your success story on amazon for a book review lol

[@MagdaAyuk]

Shan BOODY lol will do! ❤️

[@Ray-ge1vx]

That last question thoooooo!!!! I needed that!!! Shannon thank you, I LOVE YOU. I really needed to hear that😭

[@adaaleide]

lol i let out the longest sigh as soon as i heard you say sabrina got attached to the narcissist. i just got out of that same exact situation and i hate that that experience seems to be one every girl has lived through WORD FOR WORD. exhausting and a waste of time, i hope she can move on from it too. i can always count on your advice for teaching me what i’m unsure of and telling me the hard truths, lots of love shan!

[@elimo3901]

a m a z i n g - I nearly fell off my chair, your answers were spot on. So EXCITED to read this book!!

[@shanboody]

I can’t wait to hear your review!!

[@theetravelhippie]

the response to the first question.. AMEN

[@sandriennacrate]

Damn she just spoke straight to me!thank you! I have seen the light! Someone is getting blocked! You put it in a way that I can understand! Everyone was try to tell me but couldn’t see it. 💡Thank youuuuu!

[@jayharrietpitt2265]

loolll the phone thing at the end hahahahhaa. you're amazing shan, thank you for your never ending wisdom and inspiration 🙏🏽

[@stannonbeador]

I literally just watched a video earlier today about Mean Girls and I SWORE I recognized you in a scene but I assumed I was mistaken. So crazy to hear you confirm it later the same day.

[@ambernicole8786]

You. Know. The. Truth.

[@c4arla]

You really are rescuing me by hitting us with this tips and honesty thank you!

[@XxGirIxX]

I LOVED LOVED LOVED this content! Amazing job Shannon, you truly showed your skills and professionalism in this video!

[@fixedbyfaith]

“This is wrong” 💀🤣 Edit: i just finished & wow that was so good. You’re so incredibly insightful & u have this way of breaking down complicated concepts & making them easily digestible✊🏾💕

[@ivymangeli3121]

Shan your advice has changed so many things for me. Thank you for sharing your advice.

[@rhiproper8482]

This was amazing! Truly loved your answers for all of these. I don't know what I would be like if you weren't around supplying me with all the tips and tricks to a much happier life. I have learnt so much from you, from weighing up risk in people and relationships to identifying negativity and creating negativity, not only with my partners but my friends as well. Thank you for everything!!!

[@Rebecca-xh1wo]

Wish this video was longer! Saw myself in your words from so many different angles

[@imanzein8837]

THE SEPTUM PIERCING IS PERFECTION 😍💕 edit: just finding out rn that its an ear cuff, buut its still fire 😝

[@Prinxes69]

God bless this brilliant woman !!! So much insight to alll my life questions answered every time 🤣👏🏻😍😍😍

[@ixuebselonzet]

VERY ENTERNTAINING AND HELPFUL. You did great. Thank you for your work in this video and for everything! Appreciated!!!!!!

[@peacheyearth]

Proud of you Shan!

[@nompumeleloprecious9700]

I never get tired of the catch phrase in the beginning of her videos

[@christianmoore489]

I definitely feel like I’m a clinger in the way you described, and I’m really starting to notice it but how do I get out of being that way 😭 it’s not something I feel like i do on purpose. I’ve never been in love or anything so I know there’s a part of myself that easily gets overexcited and desperate when someone likes me, & I feel like that’s exactly what pushes people away.

[@user-rm1lm3rt7e]

Preaching my gospel 😭 idk what to do

[@elimo3901]

Yes, I feel you. I also get over excited when I like someone or I see potential. It's good to be conscious about it, and show the person you like them, but also just give them their space and be able to be in the uncertainty. I've had a hard time not knowing what the dating / relationship would bring, but have learned to embrace it much more. The clinginess is def about controlling the situation, and a bit of ego and love flooding as Shan mentioned. I have a friend who just dated a guy who was constantly messaging her on all platforms, sending photos of himself doing random things. Would text her, and she hadn't replied, and he would text back five hours later being like "oh so I guess you don't want to see me after all", which is so dramatic. Def a case of clinginess, control, ego, love flooding and not being able to be in the unknown and just letting things flow organically.

[@goddessnveset4319]

I’m the same way. I’ve been married and now that I’m not and I started dating again, I met a guy I starting dating and things were great but now he treats me differently. And I think it’s bc I’m clingy and emotional. I see it but I don’t know how to stop. I’m either hot or cold, no in between 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@elimo3901]

I've been giving this a lot of thought and I think we as women need to step back. Let him take the iniative, choose the spot, let him decide. A lot of women become bulldozers and know it alls and present everything, instead of chilling and keeping a little mystery. Don't be cold, just be relaxed. Show your feelings, but don't overrun the guy with ideas, texts or calls. Let the man breath. My two cents.

[@MarySanche]

That first question just described my first relationship too! 😂'You're a mess because you don't know yourself!' Glad I got up & went

[@jennreyn5140]

I literally love your wisdom , you take the words right out of my mouth , I’ve been in a horrible toxic relationship for that past 5 years and now am finally free from it and that experience has taught me how to identify a good relationship, if that makes sense. I’ve matured so much mentally and emotionally and have a mindset that most people my age (21) don’t relate too. I relate & understand everything you say. Your amazing keep being you Shan. I’m definitely purchasing your book.

[@ChrissyS]

Girl I'm 2 hours in rewatching you videos. I am grateful for your sharing.💯

[@BrenttTheOneManBand]

Ima just say this very insightful video. That look, the energy, tone of voice, etc.... you got it baby girl. I love the way you think and explain stuff. Loved the part at the end playing with the phone and the sexy glare....... classic .... keep it up !!!!

[@faboo300]

Yess Shannon!! We see you on MeUndies!

[@lyanf.acevedo7857]

I Hope so hard that your videos are syill around when My daughter is 15 so that I can have her learn so much truth from you. I feel like you explain it all better than I do as her Helicopter mom!😣 Keep up the great work!💋💖💖💖

[@thenoc]

I know this video is old but I hope you read this one day. I am a man who has been sacrificing connections due to working a job I'm not satisfied with and living with my friends instead of on my own. I have had several opportunities to interact with women but have totally disregarded them because of my living situation and job. This video actually made me feel a lot better. I heard what you said and you are right I am more than just my work. Thank you 😁

[@vsboardza]

I love flooded in friendship but now I am aware of it, I am conscious of my behaviour when making connections

[@taiwothere1424]

I am purchasing the book TODAY!!Thank you for all of your amazing advice auntie Shannon

[@iHeartCouture95]

I think that LOVING and ACCEPTING yourself first is important and if you have to find your passions and feel secure enough within yourself first before being with someone romantically then do that. Shan did that and so have a lot of people because she found (like me and plenty of others) you can sometimes start to depend on that person for fulfillment and self worth when those things should come from within. Homegirl with the 9-5 should take time to retrain her thinking and find her passion to do whatever she wants outside of that 9-5. She won't have everything fully together in life but I think that she needs a balance in pursuing her passions whilst attending to her relationship as was said by Shan.

[@mareikehess2624]

Shan, this was gold (again ;)). I needed months and months to realize what you straight up got about the first situation. The other answers, too, so empowering, helpful and FAIR. Ur so good at what ur doing. Thank YOU.

[@marippp7038]

Im speechless. That's some really good advice right here

[@eschellebitting5863]

Well Shan, I’m truly addicted to you and your craft. There I said it ❤️

[@rasheedaogburn123]

This is amazing. Up until about two weeks ago I was Ash. I had to learn this same lesson. A really hard lesson to learn but it’s imperative that one realizes this. Confidence will increase once you learn to trust the process and your worth within that process.

[@nzelaya0202]

I tell this to my girl friends all 👏the👏 time👏!!! 🤣 but you say it so much better!!!

[@Toodlesgirlie]

You explain things so beautifully 😍

[@itsaplantlife9850]

Bought it and 1st read is down the hatch. Loved it. I was feeling dead 4 years in a narc relationship (we have a kid and my health crashed is why I'm still in) (and to be fair, maybe he's simply immature emotionally, because he exhibits all the tantrums and manipulations I did with my first relationship after growing up in an abusive home) and now I feel some fuel flowing through this woman who used to just flirt because I loved life. I'm not giving him the goods, yet I thank you for reminding me who I am when I'm not so seriously guarded from someone who's violated so much of me. If you don't have it yet, do get it!

[@SheBezDaBaddess]

I freaking love you soooo much! Your amazing Shan and I appreciate all that you have become and are still becoming. I'm so excited to get your book!

[@freespiritedfreespirited2595]

I love this. Watching it again. You are highly intelligent. You don’t need me telling you that. But I thought I’d do it anyways. Thank you for changing the world.

[@weirdocentric23]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 it’s not out in the U.K until October 😩. Sooo on it once it’s available🥳🥳🥳🥳

[@maycoleman7348]

Shan Sooo Stooopid: “I’m not taking your calls today”, “shorten this shit up”

[@NaturallyNerdeeNicol]

After different relationships and other life experiences, I have come to the conclusion, I will know I am in love when that man makes me feel the same way I feel about food. Then I will know it's solid.

[@rhondondeezy]

I've been saying I have an addictive personality for the longest and this video just confirmed it. It's one thing when I say it to myself but when you, a real expert in your field says it, I know it's true. It's hard to work on but I know I have to do exactly what you said...walk away.

[@ericafelix1059]

Woaa! I’ve been both types of love flooding to two different persons. Got my work cut out for me l. Thanx Shan

[@HeyPhonsi]

That end song dayummmmmmm

[@VocallyYours3]

She’s quite gorgeous!!

[@lovemusicharmonybeat]

Damn, I feel you Sabrina

[@fuzzbuzz6859]

Definitely ordering your book, you the truth 😊 wish you were my sister

[@Kira-ey5yt]

@Shan BOODY it would be cool if you could do a video with Dr. Ruth to discuss how the work you do now compares with how she did similar things and how the landscape for dating, relationships, support etc has changed

[@DaughterofEve87]

🧡✨ feeling empowerment after watching this. Thank you Shan!

[@daniellemoxey9940]

Thank you thank you thank you...I never had language to explain interest in toxic unbalanced relationships etc and this whole video just did exactly that!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@mayyamihaylova1123]

Ahaha ha I’m Sabrina .... same. I’m 28 and I’m addicted lol. Shan, I’m reading your book 📚! Love you, girl!

[@AdaezeVibes]

Thank you Shan, just thank you! For all the wisdom you freely share 💜

[@divinalove8525]

This is the video I didn’t realize how badly I needed.

[@thespaceguardin9]

Period...thhhank you

[@victoriaproenglish]

Shan, you are such a beautiful and smart individual. I love watching your videos, because you cover topics, which other people are afraid to talk about. And you are so articulate, like, I am truly amazed by you. Also, your videos not only educated me(because basically in my country we almost have NO information on sex and pleasure) but showed me how to be THE BEST AND UNAPOLOGETIC version of myself. Thank you for everything you do. Love ya

[@lindanise1357]

You were in the mean girls movie???!!!😱

[@shanboody]

Yes Katie’s first day of school

[@nizbet5707]

OMG Shan you bumped into Lindsey Lohan!!

[@heyjavonnejay]

Shan BOODY *Cady 😉

[@DaniielaVergara]

I have to check it out!!!

[@BrandiGowder62]

The ending was everything for me and I’m loving these videos can’t wait to get the book

[@CynRamirez]

Oof. That love gambling addiction is so triggering for me personally, but it is so important to talk about. I didn’t even know that was a real and actual addiction until it already happened. I wish I would’ve found you sooner or had more education on all this.

[@marilynfanyo6228]

I really like you Shannon, like really. You are a very funny, interesting and likable human being. Thanks for showing us your true self. Also we miss Jared over here 😥

[@karaarmstrong5144]

I just got your new book and I love it so far! I'm getting back into the dating world!! I am so excited to dive deeper into it!

[@marveltastic862]

this is why I love you Shannon!!!!!!!!

[@marlenimedrano205]

Your advice always leaves me speechless and feeling saved from doing somedick dumb, pun intended

[@akaaformentioned2yearoldfi910]

You done captioned my mind

[@misshouda1740]

the depression thing is a game men say it to ghost and come back I literally heard it on a men's dating channel

[@dabiggcrunk]

Post the link! I don't believe it!

[@somebody2474]

@@dabiggcrunk some men, not all

[@spaghettio1995]

Holy fuck Shan. Thank you for telling me the things I needed to hear.

[@TheMercedesForever]

lmao "this a long ass question.. I gotta shorten this. I gotta shorten this shit up"

[@EtherealAthena]

Queen of advice

[@claudiam.8508]

Picking up my copy today! So excited. Greetings from Germany :)

[@ymn5201]

YASSSSS come through with the honesty!!!!!!!!! This is why I subscribe

[@shelbeed6403]

The analogy in Shan's head. "Ariel how do you know the difference between a Delicious Burger and the Dry Fish Taco."