Slavoj Žižek on Synthetic Sex and "Being Yourself" | Big Think

Slavoj Žižek on Synthetic Sex and "Being Yourself"
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Philosopher and social critic Slavoj Žižek dislikes the sense of self-commodification and self-manipulation innate in online dating. People strive for perfection when they set up dating profiles. Žižek believes love isn't about seeing someone as perfect, but rather appreciating them for the reasons they're not perfect. Perfection is an illusion, he says. "Perfection" is plainness. It's innocuous and generic. This isn't necessarily an endorsement of bold and honest self-expression, because as Žižek explains, it's important to maintain manners and structure. Instead, Žižek promotes the idea of paying tribute to a perverse superego in order to be able to maintain civility. He then describes what he thinks the ideal date and sexual scenario would be - complete with the aforementioned "tribute."
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SLAVOJ ŽIŽEK:
Slavoj Žižek is a Slovenian philosopher and cultural critic. He is a professor at the European Graduate School, International Director of the Birkbeck Institute for the Humanities, Birkbeck College, University of London, and a senior researcher at the Institute of Sociology, University of Ljubljana, Slovenia. His books include Living in the End Times, First as Tragedy, Then as Farce, In Defense of Lost Causes, four volumes of the Essential Žižek, and Pandemic!: COVID-19 Shakes the World.
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TRANSCRIPT:
Slavoj Žižek: The problem I see with online dating is that it always automatically involves this aspect of self-commodification or self-manipulation. When you date online, you have to present yourself there in a certain way putting forward certain qualities. You present an image of yourself. You focus on your idea of how other people should perceive you. But I think that’s not how love functions, even at the very simple level. And so called, I think the English term is "endearing foibles," elementary ingredient on love. You cannot ever fall in love with the perfect person. There must be some tiny small disturbing element and it is only through noticing this element that you say, but in spite of that imperfection I love him or her.
A funny story: They made in Europe, not in the United States, some decades ago when the two big modeling stars were Claudia Schiffer and Cindy Crawford. They made in France, I think, a big opinion poll like, "Whom would you prefer to live with?" Cindy Crawford won. You know why? Because of that birth, that particular small mole here, whatever, birthmark. The idea was Claudia Schiffer is too perfect. There must be some tiny element of imperfection.
And now let me tell you a totally crazy personal experience, which happened to me. I was talking once in a faraway country somewhere in Latin America. Of course I will not say where. A still very attractive lady, sexually, late 30s, who told me of a strange thing that happened to her. She told me that when her last lover saw her naked before making love that he told her if you were just to lose three, four pounds, your body would have been perfect. And I told her just don’t lost three or four pounds. Because, you know, like if she were effectively to lose three or four pounds she wouldn’t be perfect. She would just be plain. The illusion of perfection is created precisely by this excess. It’s too much, but then you imagine or without this it would have been perfect. If you say - if you take away this excess you don’t get perfect, you know. This is what in psychoanalytic theory we call object cause of desire. Not object of desire, object of desire I think in this case is a woman or a man or whatever. But the cause of desire in the sense of what makes you fall in love is always a sign of imperfection. So that’s for me a big problem in I don’t, I’m not doing it so I don’t know enough of it how to include into online dating this element of contingency.
I don’t find a problem with online dating in the idea that you are not spontaneous, et cetera. Listen, we are never spontaneous. If there is a big lesson of all those Big Brother and other reality shows, it’s that even when we are just ourselves in private life we always play being ourselves. And I think this is in a way a good thing. I mean when people say no, you know, all these actor studio methodology - express yourself, be who you really are. Well I think most people are monsters secretly. I think - I like to live in a society where you do whatever you want. Just please don’t express yourself too much, you know...
Read the full transcript at bigthink.com/videos/online-da...

[@bigthink]

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[@Y0Uanonymous]

Isn't there a problem with that superego for telling people to fuck their dead mother to get a relief ?

[@kamranrowshandel6395]

My mom barely let me become exposed to anything about Japan

[@PharaoahMonk]

It is really distracting. Like he did coke before the interview

[@N0p3er5]

​@@PharaoahMonkis .. is this a joke? I'm genuinely bad at jokes, but I am curious.

[@Neggnogg]

All of the comments regarding Zizek's nose remind me of a quote by Confucius: "When a wise man points at the moon, the imbecile examines the finger."

[@joedoe6836]

I appreciate listening to everything he had to say, but the only thing I thought to comment on was his nose. KZbin comment section isn't the place I would go to debate/discuss ideas seriously.

[@dudeman5303]

Exactly, sir. Not only is that a good quote, your picture is fucking Spike.

[@joseppi4381]

If he did not have that nose tick, he would be perfect.

[@psyantologist]

So much win.

[@brianmcarton]

Oooooooo you sneaky Pete!

[@Mjolknirn]

"Inside my plastic vagina" - Slavoj Žižek, Big Think (2015)

[@wilfredv1930]

genius Slavoj

[@Irysee]

He's right! He paid for it and now it's HIS vagina.

[@kzr_1613]

Ultra Chad

[@zzz.1777]

LMFAOOOOO

[@kdot78]

Absolute knowledge.

[@hrdyondrej]

Best pick up line ever, "Your place, my place, whatever, we meet there."

[@sergiolazaromartinez491]

Personally, I prefer the one of "Your dead mother, I will dig her out of her grave and do things to her sexually". But that one is good as well

[@DeiNostri]

@@sergiolazaromartinez491 I want to take what you and Žižek said a bit further, but I don't want to be blocked from the internet for a lifetime.

[@sergiolazaromartinez491]

@@DeiNostri please go ahead and so on and so on

[@DeiNostri]

@@sergiolazaromartinez491 Make body pillow, skin of their dead family members, will not see my girlfriend in 6months, life on the swedish countryside, sewing, making a stew etcetera, etcetera!

[@jzen1455]

"Your place. my place, wherever. Your Sybian and my Fleshlight shall take care of our sexual needs while we talk about whatever strikes our fancy, free from performance anxiety."

[@t0wers_marcus]

On a date: Girl: So... do you have any fetish? Me: It's complicated

[@azshalen]

"You wouldn't get it."

[@johnfranklin5784]

...commodities

[@typicaljaguar9155]

"How often do you sniff and wipe your nose?"

[@ForeChin99]

Girl: So... do you have any fetish? Boy: BRING YOUR PLASTIC PENIS I'LL BRING MY PLASTIC VAGINA AND WE'LL HAVE A TALK

[@luismt7542]

@@ForeChin99 **PLESTIK PEENIS ELEKTRIK DILDO

[@noname-wx8qq]

zizek is perfectly imperfect

[@principal_optimism]

It is his ticks that make him perfect

[@AXharoth]

fucking gross

[@YnteryPictures]

Old but gold

[@YnteryPictures]

I mean the comment, not the Zizek. Yeah, whatever, I mean both

[@user-hw8rl5lh1i]

he is too perfect at being imperfect, and that makes him perfectly imperfectly imperfect.

[@Sien545]

I never thought I'd hear Slavoj Zizek explain what a fleshlight is.

[@oksanaml9279]

Lol, I was surprised too but he's hilarious and so genius.

[@poondawg3244]

That's exactly what I expected.

[@enesercin6182]

Sienineis Excuse me, did you mean “Stimulating training unit ?”

[@lazypops3117]

enes erçin STAMINA training, gentle sir.

[@alchemicpunk1509]

You are by now hopefully aware that Zizek also talks about Hentai, right?

[@Jearbearjenkins]

I love how he said he doesn’t want to say what he and his friends talk about but then basically describes necrophilia 😂

[@user-bt3yt8lh5y]

That's what "the Balkan stuff" means - trying to be as creatively cynical as possible, only catch is it has to be directed at the enemy's mother.

[@user-ix5er3wn1v]

@@user-bt3yt8lh5y not just enemy’s, but also friends’ 😅

[@user-bt3yt8lh5y]

@@user-ix5er3wn1v Yeah, anyone you have strong feelings for. Positive or negative. You can literally say the exact same thing to your biggest homie and someone you wish was in a Saw trap.

[@aslambhatti8932]

Not only balkans, in subcontinent this shit is norm

[@pongphanp1057]

@@user-bt3yt8lh5y hi how can i learn more of this ?

[@bubbasmama2123]

"Do whatever you want, just don't express yourselves too much," absolute genius!🤣

[@bilalattal2707]

I burst into laughter 🤣🤣

[@N0p3er5]

A wise punk lady with braids and rusty bangles said "Do what you want, but don't touch my smokes".

[@N0p3er5]

I kind of raise my kids this way: have respect for my experiences, but, be honest. Not the kind where you get in trouble. But the efficient way where you tell me what you need and I can make sure you are respectfully heard, and rightfully provided for, even if I disagree. But I will explain the mechanics of it, and hope they can recognize the patterns and positive results of respect.

[@vinothm1398]

In this episode: Slavoj goes on a date

[@godofpubg9179]

Vinoth M wtf 😂😂😂

[@folexangegeheim]

Ahahaha)))

[@adamdevlin4533]

Super Seducer Zizek DLC

[@hahathatsgood]

POV

[@harutosunaa3881]

Lol

[@the_original_Bilb_Ono]

I like to think he sat down, they asked "how are you?" And he did this entire rant out of no where.

[@Rainer-tn8cw]

Before we start, I have a tinder date. Do you have a dirty joke to impress her....

[@blouburkette]

Zizek is insane in the most sane way possible. I love him. He never ceases to amaze and inspire me as well as make me laugh.

[@idomerimovich9592]

סבבה

[@xiaogeju2011]

For the same reason, I can't stand him. He makes me aggressive.

[@Seki1987]

He uses a lot of cocaine

[@dariodelolmogarrido4045]

@@xiaogeju2011 can you elaborate?

[@__se7entin__]

better to say he's sane in the insane way possible

[@carltonesmith5015]

Toward the end, I was like, what am I listening to? But he makes a very valid point. In the race to get close physically, we sacrifice a lot of intimacy. It’s quite the paradox.

[@thomas.thomas]

In a healthy relationship it's not either or

[@carltonesmith5015]

@@thomas.thomas I hear ya

[@genuardimusic]

Well stated sir

[@ObakengModibediwed3]

Bro

[@tfdinformation7534]

Thanks for explaining it

[@njits789]

'We always play being ourselves.' Love that.

[@Michael-xv1gn]

Wish he would have elaborated on the idea of explosive anger as performance, because that particularly resonated with me. I am known by pretty much everyone as being a very laid back, patient person who rarely ever gets angry or argues with anyone. So when I get angry and have an outburst like that, it's significant enough that I pay attention to my feelings and to myself as I am doing it. And it really is like a performance, with the object of getting the other person to understand how strongly I feel about something. When the other person simply doesn't get how big a deal something is to us, we have to demonstrate it. And we do this by having our little outburst, and crying and screaming. But it's not this spontaneous act of true expression, as he was saying, it's actually a carefully orchestrated act of performance. At least, that's what I think he was saying and I really like this idea.

[@gabrieloliveros9041]

Very good!

[@darkdork78]

I don't know this for certain but I'd guess that you could probably find something about this in Lacan. I just figure cause this is a psychological matter and Zizek is a Lacanian

[@MetaphysicalAxiom]

you repress the micro triggers until it becomes a pressure cooker bomb. at some point that tension will be released. better to be real all the time and let it out in the small proportioned, relevant and timely fashion instead of risking the unpredictable liability of an outburst. This philosopher doesn't know what he is talking about,.. it's rare they ever do. More science; less opinions. Fucking simple minded liabilities is what the majority have become. Yup; I am undateable.

[@danpetru]

I think there are those but there are also the incontrollable ones. Depending on the person and the state they are in, there may be what you described as a controlled outburst on the one side but, i would argue , also the actual nervous outbursts on the other. A state, maybe, separated by madness by just a tiny thread of lucidity and free will. - a Yes or No question

[@jj1023665]

Interesting I behave in a way exactly the opposite.

[@hollowsunbeam3856]

4:22 "I believe in proper manners" - Slavoj "I couldn't resist the worst racist remark" Žižek

[@shamusson]

Gamer Žižek

[@ufkun20]

@@shamusson Mein Gott we live in a society *sniff*

[@mateocolautti3703]

- Based Zizek

[@Pe6ek]

Overdid the morning coke. Still a legend.

[@frankcarrasquillo6394]

Haha

[@frankcarrasquillo6394]

He s on a binge!funny shit

[@manupainkiller]

Man...I read your comment before playing the video and...you made it almost unwatchable for me ; because each time when I would see Zizek sniffing or touching his nose, your words would come out "overdid the morning coke" and start laughing. I had to pause this clip many times (due to the...numerous fidging, of couse), to "calm myself" and resume afterwards.

[@ke_neil_we]

Sniffing hard on the ideology 😎 lol love it

[@gsustime]

It was worth it though

[@evakatrinaa]

4:09 "I think most people are monsters, secretly" 😂 an academic who understands everyday, messy human existence 🏆

[@goodfty]

Thanks for giving a timestamp at the end of the sentence

[@Lit_curator]

Yeaa.. I have all sorts of perverse thoughts running in my head at times when I'd be outwardly most detached being on earth.. 😂

[@waldenotwalled5783]

evakatrina a Since he’s a communist, I’d hope he understands how everyday people act.

[@CountingStars333]

@@waldenotwalled5783 Yeaaaa. People can think what they want. If they want to think about alternative methods to allocate resources, they can. Maybe they'll come up with something better. Not thinking stifles innovation.

[@dietertheanteater]

It's either a dramatization or a psychological projection. I am not a monster secretely and fortunate enough to be surrounded by people who I know are not monsters. There are truly sweet, pure, kind, innocent and good people in this world.

[@Crosshill]

In a way, his tics made it easier for me to focus on it. I would normally be fairly bored about that subject, but it kept me going. Also the slight cognitive strain in trying to understand him made me more focused, so. well, interesting talk, actually

[@theali8oras274]

its because he believes what he says , not because he has tics. It shows , i think

[@MrJeanNunes]

his talks are always very involving. he speaks freely and passionately about stuff with a very notable sincerity. and now that i know thats just his favorite character, i must admit its a pretty good one.

[@adamdevlin4533]

you can "hear" the thought being carried across his stutters, dan harmon does this too to an absurd degree

[@brennanchaudhry8925]

Funnily enough this exposes exactly what he’s trying to get at early in the video. Because he has these strange tics and way of speaking you are interested, in the same way you are sexually interested because someone is not the perfect physical specimen.

[@adamdevlin4533]

@@brennanchaudhry8925 good point! it's that flash of the grotesque which also distinguishes someone so inexorably. it is so especially, one of a kind ugly.

[@laluna5548]

There is a thin line between madness and genius and he walks it without style, but with a lot of heart and my slavic brain salutes him for it.

[@miovicdina7706]

Same 😁

[@janosch7210]

i think there is no line between. The two sepperate on the dividing force of having success or not. You can say what you want, if you have sucess in society, they will most likely label it as 'genius', 'pioner', 'intelligent' or whatoever. Objectively there there might be no difference...think about it

[@wanderingsoul1189]

well said.

[@jzen1455]

Online dating amplifies feelings of FOMO and analysis paralysis in which everyone has one foot out the door and ready to abandon ship at the slightest inconvenience. I also totally agree that people can be repulsively too perfect.

[@aguspuig6615]

this reminded me of the stereotypical girl, thats totally in love with you until she discovers the tiniest flaw, even something stupid as fuck like your astrological sign being pisces or whatever, and its like ''oh no, red flag''

[@gregsloan11]

Slavoj seems more of a chatroulette type of guy to me.

[@NessieAndrew]

?

[@dewanmdurnto3592]

Greg Sloan explain

[@SkittlesInYourHand]

@@dewanmdurnto3592 This comment was 3 years ago...

[@t0mcc]

@@SkittlesInYourHand oOf

[@yusuffusuy4971]

memememe atleast we’re not alone lmao

[@LiberaLib]

they finally found someone for Big Think who's actually smart.

[@myemailaccount3046]

ya know

[@MetaphysicalAxiom]

@Frederick Röders so you're pretending that you know what you're talkin about or who you're talkin to? Sounds like you're pretending you're smarter than you actually are. Sounds like the dunning-kruger effect to me, hypocrite. Additionally, you labeling me dunning-kruger effect is nothing but weaponized psychological ad hominem. You stupid fucking piece of shit.

[@MetaphysicalAxiom]

@Frederick Röders the truth is you're a pathetic debate troll. You just can't handle being wrong. You can't handle it when anybody is more intelligent than you are. You're a pathetic shill mongering sophist.

[@MetaphysicalAxiom]

@Frederick Röders you want to see where you're brainwashed personality and behavior come from? Watch It and Weep, you fucking pathetic loser. (Argutube search it, watch it, think on it, outgrow that primitive behavior.)

[@MetaphysicalAxiom]

@Frederick Röders you think defending your stupid fucking opinions is a sport for you to win at. You pathetic brainwashed fucking loser. you pathetic piece of shit troll. Total fucking waste of existence. kzbin.info/www/bejne/o3fbaJ2kg7eehqs

[@kylebowles9820]

this guy has incredible philosopher energy

[@NikoNoxious]

you could for sure say that about zizek

[@wmskemdke]

whos gonna tell em

[@user-vf6rw9oj1z]

cok

[@Guadalupefan]

WAs that This man has (increíble philosopher) energy¿ Or This man has incredible (philosopher energy)¿ Maybe that could clarify some things about his comment heheh

[@cookster69]

@@Guadalupefan the second one most likely

[@fernandourdapilleta15]

"I like to live in a society where you do whatever you want, just please dont express yourself too much".

[@ThePublicPunisher]

A truly declaration of intentions, classic totalitarianism from the left.

[@user-jp7mb4ns7x]

That last joke about the sex machines pleasing it's other, setting us free from our superego dictations, taking away the anxiety of performance, thats a man's fantasy.

[@Irysee]

*cough-cough* I can't read Greek --are you a man?

[@user-jp7mb4ns7x]

@@Irysee I am a man indeed

[@ellerose9164]

Oh not really. In a womans perspectice the pressure is maybe more about beauty and being insecure with your body. But there is also a desire to "show the best side" of you.

[@bichinha8]

precisely

[@daniarocio5001]

Would you elaborate further please?

[@bichinha8]

'but it's not the usual oppressive sex'... this guy just makes my day every single time

[@Strelok473]

I've never heard someone say it that way, but he explains it so well. When you have to worry about performance and impressing someone, the sex ultimately becomes oppressive. It's a quite a thought.

[@williamchacon1894]

I'm really impressed by how Zizek thinks. I wish there were more people like him around. Human beings would've evolved in an awesome social way.

[@ilikechineseteaespeciallyj7262]

nah, the west just is shit at thinking. that's it. Of course, he is also a genius.

[@jazzochannel]

but there are more people like him, and people are evolving. what are you talking about?

[@WinkLinkletter]

I had a girlfriend, the first young lady I ever lived with, who's top "canine" teeth were pushed forward with the rest pushing in behind them. This gave her a sort of fang look when she smiled that was so beautiful, and was just perfect for her face, somehow. We parted as many young lovers do, and, though a civil break, we lost touch with each other. Then, some twenty plus years later, I chanced upon a mutual friend from back then who had her number. We talked for a month or so, and eventually met up again while she was in town for family stuff. As it turns out, she had always hated her teeth that way and had gotten them fixed. Still beautiful, smart and funny, I still found myself wondering where the white hot spark had gone, realizing at last it was this "flaw" which had so endeared me to her in the first place, at least physically.

[@gabidois]

I can't help but wonder...had you ever mentioned to her that you liked her teeth? My girlfriend has one of her canines that's not aligned with the other teeth and, like you, I find it endearing and I think it fits her face. However, she's had an orthodontist tell her, when she was younger, that if she didn't fix it she'd never find a husband (lol) and a job (wtf???). In her case, she just dismissed her opinion and refused to change it, since it was purely for appearances and didn't have any impact on her tooth's health. Your friend probably had to endure similar comments all her life. If she's happier now, then good for her, but these comments shouldn't have happened to begin with :/

[@kepinpin5277]

bro I like your writing. a few more paragraphs and you got yourself a nice short story

[@WinkLinkletter]

@@kepinpin5277 Ha! I do tend to go on a bit!

[@WinkLinkletter]

@@gabidois Oh yes, she was made abundantly aware of my feelings for her and the effect her "look" had upon me. I would compliment her mouth/teeth specifically, too, but didn't want her to feel more self-conscious about it than she already was, or think that I was "protesting too much" just to make her feel good. A fine line, but she knew I, at least,was genuine in my adoration. But you are right, she was definitely taunted by the kids back in school, and it did stick with her, esteem-wise.

[@r_se]

sorry for the late reply just wanted to share an observation. in japan they call this yaeba and it's considered cute when the canines are a bit crooked like that. such fangs are common in singers, actresses, models and it's also a big trope in anime. so you are not alone in this fetish so to speak.

[@ameraljabr405]

If Slavoj wasn't sniffing he'll be perfect. Oh wait..

[@laugher2211]

Nice

[@crow8067]

Well played

[@ozgurakpinar_gr]

I didn't get it.

[@ozgurakpinar_gr]

Oh, got it.

[@bekiigic]

@@ozgurakpinar_gr If you got it at first, you will be perfect. Oh wait...

[@mudit5151]

a guy is talking about the deepest vice in humans and viewers are busy starting at his nose.. he's a genius, almost revolutionary..

[@Ho_veen]

almost?

[@danielc9441]

He's a slob stating the obvious, it's hardly profound unless you are an imbecile

[@jasminehouston-burns1691]

In all fairness, it's pretty noticable.

[@mmartinisgreat]

Eh kinda.

[@kristoffer3000]

@@danielc9441 Mad you didn't understand what he was talking about?

[@13superdude2]

So basically he's referring to the simple acknowledgement from both people in a dating scenario of the repressed sexual aspects of our subconscious functioning. And once we have this out of the way, once we have acknowledged a large part of what goes on in the background of our minds, once we realise and express that we're both infact pretty fucking similar in the way that we are all repressed sex seeking lunatics, we can go on with everything else so much easier. It's like showing our cards to the other person, with the condition that the other person does the same. "I see you and you see me". It's quite fascinating and thought inspiring really, what an interesting guy.

[@OscarASevilla]

Well said!!!!

[@estebanrodriguez1175]

I was having trouble understanding his hypothetical of using a plastic dildo and vagina to initiate conversation, but thnx for explaining it differently!

[@brianortiz5203]

As someone who struggles with sexuality, it would ABSOLUTELY be ideal if sex can just happen in the background and there’s more room for connection in a way that feels much more safer. No anxiety of how to please or how to perform, just presence and love. ❤️

[@crisis6657]

Same here! Usually Im not entirely comfortable with sexual topics and sex, but I liked this talk a lot

[@samuri2011]

Join the demisexual/greysexual club! Woohoo

[@bronzejourney5784]

@@crisis6657 You might have repressed sexuality, it can easily be fixed after a session or two with a sex therapist.

[@crisis6657]

@@samuri2011 demisexual gang 😎

[@samuri2011]

@@crisis6657 hell yeah! Gang gang!

[@travisstrabala5218]

4:00 "This Actor's Studio mythology, express yourself, be who you really are. I think most people are monsters, secretly. I'd like to live in a society where you do whatever you want, just please don't express yourself too much. I like people who know how to control themselves. I believe in proper manners." COULD NOT agree more! Thank you Slavoj.

[@jamiemcmillan6742]

This guy is batshit crazy but he talks complete sense XD

[@CeruleanPandas]

thank you for giving the s&m lesbians some positive words, Žižek lmao

[@XeL__]

identification is strong! he also have some good words for people that dont unnessesarily kill sentient being for their flesh and secretion. great man !

[@Strix358]

​@@XeL__ What makes you sure about plants and mushrooms not being sentient beings?

[@sabastiankilgore781]

The mannerisms, structure of thought, pacing, everything about this man suggests there is a bust of him in a study somewhere

[@dah_goofster]

You’re such a cute lesbian

[@sabastiankilgore781]

@@dah_goofster and you're probably impotent. Good-bye

[@fireflieer2422]

@@dah_goofsterwait what

[@haiku_king]

@@dah_goofster ???

[@Kamilaa333]

@@dah_goofster lesbians think ur disgusting 🥰

[@DrSher]

Slavoj is the best!! We meet, say hi, I like you, you like me, we go to the house and so on and son.

[@blankspace6367]

hmm so does that make ‘& so on & so on’ the Zizekian equivalent of ‘yadda yadda yadda’ then?

[@diegoloxoro]

@@blankspace6367 i wouldnt say so. in my opinion he uses that to express that the topic he was talking about is longer and more complicated but all the knowledge that had to be extracted from it in order to explain the Main Topic has been taken.

[@imkaiko]

It's super stimulating hearing his thoughts, watching his gestures, and laughing at what is so disturbing yet so honest thinking... He's so on point!

[@umrasangus]

It's almost as if he has become his stimulating training unit

[@friusmagnius6368]

I started listening this mans speeches since Im 17 and it really opened my eyes. How true are the words he is saying about love and romance. Hope so many people could watch this video an develop a better mindset. It’s hilarious✨☕️🌧️

[@skf957]

I love it. Made me genuinely laugh out loud at the end. The thought of those nasty toys buzzing away in the background doing all the base stuff, while old fashioned romance is front and centre. Bravo sir!

[@MGMonasterio]

He is brilliant, controversial, sarcastic and very deep thinker.What about his tics? Who gives a damn to that! The man is a genius, and yes, he is also a little crazy, and so what?

[@yvesnyfelerph.d.8297]

Its his trademark

[@benjaminrao34]

The geniuses are always called "crazy" It's nonsense

[@CruzzioXT]

Wow, I'm starting to like this guy. I love how he speaks his mind so openly. I feel like what stands in the way of a good conversation nowadays is that we fail to acknowledge our inner dirtiness. Slavoj seems to personify this very fact.

[@daniarocio5001]

I totally agree with you. And that makes us so lonely in the end. I root for someone I don't know with whom I could have the intimacy of showing my shadows. And talking about shadows now I think I know what the 50 shades of Grey really goes on about

[@german.gorbachov]

I praise your speech with standing ovation, Mr. Zizek!

[@brodiewhelan3228]

I agree with this man very much on the expansive part I’m come from an extremely violent home, i have been in therapy for a long time to understand how to regulate my emotions, I clearly remember the day my psychiatrist said to me, it’s not far but it’s fact we must simply not explode 🤯, Society doesn’t allow this behaviour and the psychological consequences from the pressure of society to conform to the social norm of expression of aggression, will do more damage to you in the long run, so you must not have ppl around that cause you to explode and you must face all trauma

[@t.va.6611]

I like the last part very much. It's like this corruption we all carry around with us, you can't get rid of it, if you try you (will) fail. The solution is to accept it as a natural part of ourselves and give it a time and space to express itself. As Slavoj said "pay tribute", and then be free of it's influence for some time.

[@maxkavian]

Yup. The identification of this superego barrier is essential to get to love truly. Otherwise the idea of love could be hijacked by misinterpretations and prejudices that keep you always at a distance from the experience that love entails.

[@JohnSmith-td7hd]

Zizek just keeps getting better! Not only brilliant, but hilarious! :D

[@SheDreamsOfYaTonight]

Yeah man! He just cleared up my biggest ego problem: accepting that the ego needs some space! Ahoo! Gracías!

[@featherycoffee1401]

Thanks for adding captions

[@PieceOfLemon]

always enjoy his insights, makes you think more broadly

[@adrianschreiber6828]

I really like this guy, his theories are interesting he has a lot of energy, uses his hands really much to really get you involved in the discussion. Just great.

[@theoschnitzel5132]

Really?

[@greenlamp9219]

my own personal take from this video: planning to undergo a rhinoplasty because my nose shape is big and quite unique. listening to what he said he is right that its good to have an imperfection about you to constantly keep people guessing in a relationship. There has come a point in my life now that dealing with this nose has felt like sitting on a chair of nails my entire life and i want to have a nice chair built for me that i can relax in and enjoy a well earned break i think. Ive already decided im not going to spend my entire life pleasing other people and am going to have to take this decision as it comes for better or for worse. thanks for reading :)

[@OscarASevilla]

Only do it if it's for yourself. Don't do it if it's because you want to conform and please others. Regardless, do you boo 🖤

[@avitarmageddon1721]

Don't do it. People will love you the way you are. We are all imperfect, thank God!

[@Etherlyawoken]

We are in the same boat.

[@supermattporter]

I absolutely love this. More guys on Grindr should watch it. (N.B. I had already envisioned the scenario he describes in his oddly liberating, dystopian "joke", as the future of sex. You should hear Zizek on how viagra disempowered the phallus...).

[@jbagger331]

"Travelling in a Latin American country, I'll not say where" I'm gussing Colombia.

[@iamepic1212]

J Bagger lol

[@temerousal2805]

No, it's Argentina. He got married here to some local model or something (weird, I know)

[@fftnofx]

Argentina

[@azabachezapata6816]

Still support Colombia! (from Chile)

[@estebancastaneda8908]

???

[@petthepizza]

This guy enlightened me to so many things that ive never realized before

[@lacamaradeoscarfarina]

This is so wonderfully weird and profound. I keep coming up with interpretations for his message here, specially at that end part. So simply put and yet… scary accurate about today standards and expectations. Brilliant in the highest of ways

[@MrDimitrisfromathens]

It's the duty of a good philosopher to be entertaining while he or she passes the ideas to us; effortlessly. I tip my hat.

[@eni4ever]

Fascinating. He expresses very interesting concepts!

[@jeanclaudediscaya8735]

I think the urge to touch his nose comes up whenever Slavoj has an interesting thought to share, though.

[@Someone-ei6zf]

I'm always in awe with the balls of this man, that's some honesty.

[@iceberg227]

When the hands leave the nose a great point is being made. Love this man.

[@SCWoodbury2009]

I would love to smoke a joint before meeting him and ask just one question and then just listen to him answer it with my mouth open. 

[@GT6SuzukaTimeTrials]

I can't listen to this guy without a smile on my face.

[@SCWoodbury2009]

I like him though. His energy is contiguous and he seems very genuine in what he says and thinks. 

[@Tethloach1]

Shane Woodbury If I had to meet him the last thing i would want is to smoke a joint, if I did that my head would explode. meeting him is more than enough, no ned to add a joint that would be over kill.

[@basicallysituation7556]

Shane Woodbury I bet $20 that he would promptly tell you to fuck off.

[@NewFunkyHouse]

+basically situation fucking nailed it. I would bet 100$

[@AstroBlonde]

He rubbed his nose 63 times.

[@liliana7642]

hahahahaha

[@WasemNator]

That's what you got from this clip?

[@superpizza8515]

Estaba metiendo perico dude

[@azabachezapata6816]

... And THANK YOU

[@zciliyafilms5508]

Ah, but did you see the dancing gorilla?

[@TheZaibs]

Such passion is very rare in this world.

[@kraljsrbije1974]

"It is balkan stuff" hahaha

[@zoranhacker]

A upravu je čovek jbg

[@beastmasterbg]

we bulgarians do it also :D

[@SimicMateja]

@@zoranhacker dajte timestamp ako možete, nisam provalio balkan :D

[@Mark-je5tx]

@Mateja simić imas na 5:55

[@SimicMateja]

@@Mark-je5tx hvala puno!

[@StopFear]

I very much agree with this thing about imperfection of someone you love. For example I have some physical disabilities and limitations due to illness, and I could never be in love with someone who is in my view physically perfect. I like people who also have health problems. Not that i want them to have health issues just for that.

[@maggyfrog]

this video is gold! how come nobody's pointing out how funny he is? that's the best thing about the guy

[@3010amit]

Bang on Zizek! ON THE IDEAL ROMANCE/SEX TODAY: You have given voice to my own set of issues which I couldn't understand so clearly, till now.

[@josephinestabel9647]

Excellent Talk. Thank you. 🌏

[@DJWESG1]

i like the perfect / imperfect analogy.. its like baroque art during the later renascence period. a baroque pearl is an imperfect pearl, but just as desirable, if not more desirable than its perfect counterpart.

[@wildordinovo8115]

His stuff is great but I wonder if Zizek could sit through a 20 min meditation class without fidgeting.

[@Nox.INkRecords]

🤣

[@kamalsaini9373]

I don't think he need meditation.

[@kurihara9023]

thanks for the advice sir.

[@silkygoldbutter1676]

I fucking love the whole segment where he describes his perfect date

[@shishuraj6761]

Where can I find it @SilkyGoldButter

[@silkygoldbutter1676]

@@shishuraj6761 7:36

[@dxcSOUL]

Good Will Hunting touches on this “love of the imperfect” idea

[@chandanhoonmain]

Comments like this make me believe there's somewhere a guy like me who notices such nuanced things. 😁

[@blackmetalcumbia]

Also eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

[@matt41252]

And Shakespeare did it 400 years earlier

[@VelMa-opinion]

Psychology tells us that we are always in a role: we speak and behave as we think is consistent with our role in the present company. Only when we totally lose control when we are taken by surprise and we get mad. Then, we're not in a role, but one couldn't call that our true self either. But that moment is the most honest reflection of who we are.

[@danarsarkawt2694]

Your last sentence contradicts itself. Being mad isn't one true self because it's heavily influenced by our emotions.

[@zaganim3813]

@@danarsarkawt2694 you misunderstand

[@erikpoephoofd]

If you peel away all the layers of the union that is a human, what remains?

[@BSPoK]

Woah words of art! Beautiful!

[@shanmac8121]

You remind me of a friend of mine. Conversations are the best.

[@DanielBlak]

Literally everytime I listen to Zizek my mind gets blown

[@shoegazingnudiscoer]

Haha, it's true! just let the sex devices do their thing, and then don't even worry about what your partner is thinking, the superficial tension is gone through the stupidity of that technology. Relationship dialectics!

[@jasonbourney3869]

i like this quote the most at 8:10. i'll live by it for life

[@edogxd3361]

his passion makes me have goosebumps

[@prenomnom4287]

love this guy

[@moehead8257]

I learned one thing from this guy, THAT there is no limit to deciphering the human brain into simple conceptions, and the more he does it, the less fun it becomes being human.

[@hakantomasoglu6836]

he is very talented man, seeing his thought flow like a reading freuds papers, smash on, slap on and thats all going around on it, the excitemet level was enourmous.

[@Chicaraa]

This is gold

[@zobazoba69]

Imperfection is vulnerability. we fall in love with vulnerability, which displays our true fragile selves to the Other

[@passionatebraziliangirl.4801]

Hahahahahaha you are soooooooooo funny a true philosopher!!! The most productive I ever felt was when my bf's loved me for who I am as I am with all my weirdness. When I am involved with someone I dont feel comfortable with because they dont care to get to know the real me, I feel emotionally distant from them. Some men demands perfection but they dont have perfection to offer. I think what professor Slavoj-Zzek said about paying tribute to a perverse superego in order to maintain civility it makes sense to me. If someone hurts me I am very expressive of my pain but after I express how I feel I dont feel angry or hurt anymore. Look at people who go around shooting/stabbing or drive a truck into mass gatherings like in Nice France. Had they been able to express their frustrations and pain perhaps they would not act with the intent of destruction and murder. I think expressing anger pain and sadness it is very healthy.

[@gsustime]

This is now my new all time favourite youtube video

[@ZenMasterNahc]

Truly insightful.

[@Nizaura]

I see this idea in practice with alternative/metal music community. Despite all the violence and aggression in music and during moshpits metalheads turn out to be really nice and kind people.

[@Irysee]

Following that analogy, does it mean that classical musicians are monsters and jerks?

[@piZZa4everRulz]

that is until you meet the rabid ones and leave those circles forever lul

[@killerpitter5891]

@@Irysee Watch clockwork orange

[@tzikronanimofagen8741]

"Stamina training unit!"

[@vaccaphd]

Great thinking.

[@xxxgarcon7589]

i have a marathon of zizek and i love it

[@honban]

I was told the same thing by a guy on a bus a couple of years ago. He knew a lot about Cindy Crawford and Claudia Schiffer.

[@deta5687]

I fucking love Zizek

[@annacastellano4512]

I loved the ending sentiment ❤

[@jacoblawyer9562]

Insane for the clearest articulation of my introspective journey on my own sexuality to be so explicitly distilled into words by a slovenian man on youtube 3x my age

[@brockmurphy1747]

Slavoj needs to stream Minecraft

[@MisssMia]

He lost me with the “stamina training unit” elaboration omg 😂😂😂😂

[@mannyizaguirre8624]

You gotta love Zizec! It's like Sylvester the Cat has reincarnated into the most intriguing Sage of this era!! That joke at the end had me laughing for days, but also pondering! This guy is as quick witted as they come!! Amazing.