You're selling... what? - Sub Safari

[@UniTheAppl]

Jonny Jonny! No papa! ... Papa.exe has stopped working

[@cryothepunching-bag7917]

The baby has to grow up without a dad now.

[@voidofspaceandtime4684]

holy fuck it's raped cyrocynical incredible

[@cryothepunching-bag7917]

@@voidofspaceandtime4684 huh?

[@DankMatter]

Johny Johny lives in a society

[@lemonlupinreuben5362]

Yes bottom text?

[@xqcl3802]

Hello there. Can you wait for HelloThereDaily's next video?

[@Epic_Gamer__]

Lives in a communist society. That’s why he was scolded for eating sugar and not sharing. Also you are literally Justin Y 2

[@schnibba1234]

Justin Ys 2nd account

[@ApeX-pj4mq]

Why are you everywhere dank??

[@princekylo7715]

Who said right-handed boys that are from suburban Arizona and that are pursuing a degree in Business Management with a minor in East Asian Studies and a certificate in Sports Management can't staple bread to a tree

[@er1081]

Who says a right handed woman who likes to cook and has nice hair and a tablet and speaks 3 languages and hates Nutella can't... be named Johnny and laugh at the fact that she lied to her father about eating sugar?

[@maxwillcontrolyoutube8537]

Oh yeah yeah

[@memeily]

@@maxwillcontrolyoutube8537 oh no no

[@rootintootin6492]

For sale: baby shoes, never worn This was actually the product of a challenge given to Ernest Hemingway to make an emotional story in only six words. The been in ass part makes it way better

[@maxwillcontrolyoutube8537]

Oh yeah yeah

[@No12TM]

Cordell Something or other I’m glad I wasn’t the only one thinking it, but the original poem went “For Sale, baby shoes, never used”. This guy was probably actually throwing baby booties up his ass

[@Awesomegaming-real]

Miscarriage

[@philipdubois2100]

r/wooooosh

[@philipdubois2100]

(that was the joke from the vid)

[@oxygenthief7253]

1982: I bet we can fly in the future 2018: Stapling bread to trees

[@mina-hs6br]

A _wool_ mart pole

[@MeowingInsanely]

It didn't get pulled over someone's eyes.

[@xXArcherSwordXx]

It’s wallmart

[@MeowingInsanely]

@@xXArcherSwordXx It's walnut

[@HKWA.]

Eusebius Tan wooosh

[@edvin34]

Waaaaaaaaaaaalmaaaaaaart

[@itsFlycatcher]

"how much experience do you have making chicken-bears" honestly that's what I hope I am asked on my next job interview

[@criesincowboy9629]

Same

[@Prof.Guards13]

@@criesincowboy9629 why? .... Why are you named [Cries in cowboy]?

[@PallasCat_]

Haha Slazo you don’t get the joke r/wooosh

[@squidblr3440]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, SLAZO HAS BEEN WOOOSHED

[@FourElemental]

r/wooosh

[@jacobb.9181]

Haha Ethan you didn't get the joke about him getting the joke r/woOOsh

[@FourElemental]

@@jacobb.9181 no u r/wooOsh!

[@lilyliao9521]

R/woosh

[@saintshaggy1372]

Johnny Johnny has hyperthyroidism. That's why papa dosent let him eat sugar.. this is so sad. Alexa play Johnny Johnny yes papa.

[@guaage]

then I really hope Johnny eats 7 pounds of sugar

[@pyrrhus6437]

He wouldn't be able to eat sugar if he had hypothyroidism, not hyper. At that it just means papa is a cheap bastard for not giving his son t3 treatments

[@nephco]

Hydrocephalus

[@maxwillcontrolyoutube8537]

Oh yeah yeah

[@maxwillcontrolyoutube8537]

@@rs-mt6kl oh yeah yeah?

[@expiredmilk7324]

I never realized how much slazo looks like shaggy

[@Spoonable]

Who Cares oh shit you’re right

[@hanlea55]

You have a nice profile picture

[@synflwr]

Slazowo

[@AA-zm9hk]

@@synflwr your pfp is kawaii owo

[@synflwr]

@@AA-zm9hk no I don't wanna date you.

[@JimLStone]

I'd never buy it, but the person who made the chicken bear has a weird talent

[@sujalumrikar2170]

Who wouldn’t buy it. Kids these days, nobody understands true art!

[@guaage]

I just kinda wanna buy it, cook it, and serve a chicken bear to my family on thanksgiving

[@necrodistic]

I'd totally buy it. -I'm just broke and I can't afford shit-

[@dipper5365]

At least it looks better than i expected a chicken bear to look like. I thought it would look like „pls kill me“ in a steven-king-way

[@rachelhammond3005]

Don’t encourage them

[@bigtownweirdo]

I wanted that beautiful gold star So I got it Love ya Slazo

[@bigtownweirdo]

😂

[@ashkechum101]

Kevinobsessed oh my god amazing

[@thedoge492]

money well spend my m8

[@M00dstarr]

How the he-

[@andaarajuma480]

Izza green ster

[@joinsideke]

15 bucks for a Walmart pole sounds like a bargain. I blame my dad for this kind of thought process, but fortunately it stops when I realize I have no use for it. My dad, on the other hand, would totally buy it.

[@Top10Dylan]

Your dad seems like a hoarder.

[@joinsideke]

My dad is a hoarder. Among the many things clogging up his garage are: a rotating store rack, one of those light up poster holders they have outside movie theaters, a hay pick, a cardboard stand up of Dale Jr used to advertise Mt. Dew, a giant wooden spool, and countless old tools and mechanical stuff that probably don't go to anything anymore.

[@Top10Dylan]

@@joinsideke my dad has about 300 staplers and keeps buying more everyday.

[@joinsideke]

Dang. Dads are weird. I wanna say at least my dad has a diversity of junk, but I'm not sure that's really better. 300 staplers though...any particular reason?

[@KingLoof]

dude can we swap dads?

[@chicken561]

"You're selling... What?" It's obvious Slazo! It's a *Walmart Pole*

[@MrxstGrssmnstMttckstPhlNelThot]

I'm just thinking about the fact hundreds or thousands of years from now archaeologists will find a bunch of trees full of staples all around the world dating to a particular time and probably have no idea why.

[@ham6552]

No one give a care

[@Vizz2004]

@@ham6552 f*ck you

[@Vizz2004]

@@ham6552 hope you get COVID19

[@theguythatasked6400]

anonymous guy hello yes I am my cool guy look at how badass I am

[@TheSteiner12]

Face reveal at 400k subs?

[@banh_mi857]

Real voice at 500k subs???

[@sweetheart02220]

Good idea.

[@NivekTheEnigma]

Feet reveal 😉

[@kamchaotic6225]

Bulge weview~ uwu

[@cloverlovania]

KZbin account reveal at 100K

[@Versaucey]

Johny Johny? Yes papa? Making Johny jokes in Slazo's comment section? No papa Telling Lies? No papa Scroll down to the comments Ha ha ha

[@dudeguy8553]

Versaucey Versaucey? Yes papa? Commenting on every video I fucking watch? *YES PAPA*

[@dinosaurgaming630]

Dude guy dude guy Yes papa Swearing No papa Scroll down though versaucey's comments Ha ha ha

[@blockmangopro8206]

Dinosaur Gaming Dinosaur Gaming Yes papa Replying to dude guy? No papa Scroll down versaucey's comment repleys Ha Ha Ha

[@dinosaurgaming630]

@@blockmangopro8206 ha ha ha

[@Duskstone89]

r/breadstapledtotrees is that big because Soothouse made a video on it.

[@WarDoctor42]

Equilorian No, it's been that big

[@MrDynamite110]

It's always been big.

[@snowyicicle1335]

There is no indication on what that would be about. 🤔

[@darkinlp3300]

R/woosh

[@darkinlp3300]

@@YourMom-ny4ri r/woooosh

[@fayce7717]

*"Mummified cat slam dunking a mummified bird"* Leonardo da Vinci is shaking

[@GenericInternetter]

Bread stapled to trees was a huge "lol ironic" thing several years ago. you found the old tomb of it.

[@liloola1012]

Show us how you do your makeup please Slazo qt

[@phoebetyrer9087]

Beauty guru slazo

[@NivekTheEnigma]

Wouldn't that be a 5 hour video

[@liloola1012]

I'd love the uncut extended version please

[@fuckmylife386]

Johny Johny Yes papa? Browsing reddit? No papa Telling lies? No papa Open your window Ha ha ha

[@Epic_Gamer__]

Fuck My Life duck my life

[@sovietdoge5544]

Fuck My Life be gone hentai

[@tevenpowell8023]

Fuck My Life I appreciate your channel description.

[@Izzybelled]

Johny Johny? Yes Papa Browsing reddit? No Papa Open your laptop WHATISTHISSHITJOHNY

[@NivekTheEnigma]

You don't make videos but you have 35 subs ???😐

[@Kacs_ky]

Slazo can't be r/whoosh because his forehead would stop the joke flying over

[@justafellowbrother7263]

Oof

[@a7xgh442]

Daniel Gable idiot forehead don't affect joke

[@Macc985]

Bruh jackfilms

[@justafellowbrother7263]

@Games4thewin if ur still alive I'm pretty sure he r/woooshed himself on purpose

[@justafellowbrother7263]

@Games4thewin maybe 🤔🤔

[@nothanksplease]

I always thought the "You send me subs and I eat them" intro was pretty funny.

[@harbingersev-oh-wohne]

The girls with dimples is a joke about how she's too pretty to be smart

[@tonib5911]

@@blayadas This aged badly during the pandemic

[@sinistrality7883]

I'm sorry when did dimples equate to being beautiful?

[@funybug]

I quit watching a Halloween costume tutorial for this. That's a big deal

[@ghostsalamander4870]

Angry Lettuce nothing is more important than a Halloween costume

[@cheesypies]

what costume are you making?

[@snoviisnow]

The "For Sale: Baby shoes. Never worn" is actually a famous memoir where the guy was challenged to make a memoir with 6 words. Not sure about the other part though...

[@snoviisnow]

It was a memoir.

[@lhaegreenleaf]

The project was called "six word memoirs" but the example given is an example of flash/sudden fiction.

[@mikamo]

Well someone attributed the story to Hemingway back in 1991, like 30 something years after he died. The whole story of Hemingway winning a $10 bet that he could craft a story in 6 words just isn’t true. Although knowing Hemingway, he might’ve actually said he could craft a story in X words or less and followed through, but it wasn’t “for sale baby shoes never worn” story. Hell, if Hemingway was gonna put money on it, you can bet your ass he spent the entire previous week thinking up the shortest story he could, counting the words, and betting on that exact number.

[@mikamo]

But really, it just shows that it’s less “crackhead craigslist” and more a case of somebody who knows a little literature trivia and also has a sense of humor. I can dig it.

[@Dargonhuman]

yea, at first I was like, "wait, someone turned that into an actual Craigslist ad?" then the second part dropped and everything took a turn for the weird.

[@NowOrNeverMarie]

The mummified "art" is truly terrifying

[@SkyBlueLily]

I- your name- _you are the chosen one_

[@sfsaviation]

You forgot the chicken bear

[@baileyw894]

"who said girls with dimples can't be nurses?" - literally no one

[@faithharger6544]

1:15 his pause between, “slam” and “dunking” is amazing and I just had to comment. That is all.

[@shayantaghonaki899]

Slazo: i afaird of no men.... But This thing *billionsurprisetoys* Scares me.

[@sonoda944]

Pootis

[@Bluman2]

Do you believe in magic

[@astranox240]

One shudders to imagine what inhuman thoughts lie behind that channel. ...what dreams of chronic and sustained cruelty?

[@marygrace9378]

slazo slazo yes papa drinking water no papa is it clean yes papa open mouth *water*

[@AveryAnarchy]

Johny Johny Yes Papa? Selling Walmart poles? No papa! Telling lies? No papa! Open your Craigslist Ha ha ha

[@void-cd4wh]

Johny johny should not be on Craigslist

[@bridgeboo3031]

"Sadly it only works in america" lmao got me cracking up

[@twentyonecrybabysatthedisc3691]

"Thats a really cool doggy slazo" kinda sounded like stitch (lilo and stitch) 😂💕

[@minitigervr]

Those dislikes are from Johnny and his family

[@Brynwyn123]

Minitiger did you spell it that way so they wouldn't take your comment down

[@dx.feelgood5825]

@@Brynwyn123 bst can't take down the comment, lol

[@judegilbertson4868]

4:12 When someone does you a h*cking bamboozle

[@sampatterson8986]

I'm not going to tweet it because I'm a *fricking* mad lad but you should do r/5thAugust1038 in the next Sub Safari

[@JayV27]

Johny Johny drinks clean water

[@relei]

This video just cheered my day, I guess I won't kms for now.

[@spferic6196]

that chicken bear is an scp from scp containment breach.

[@SheepUndefined]

#1048, specifically, although the documented flesh ones were made of ears and human flesh. Also, SCP containment breach is a fangame, they didn't come up with any of the monster concepts beyond how to implement them into game form.

[@jan.mmmmmmm]

You're a cool guy _Slazo Jazzo!_ ;)

[@averygudpocketscoot6481]

* *jazz music stops* *

[@Epic_Gamer__]

**heavy metal plays**

[@averygudpocketscoot6481]

**You can hear sirens going off on the background**

[@jan.mmmmmmm]

A very gud pocket scoot it appears that I've been r/whooooshed, I have no idea what you mean xD

[@averygudpocketscoot6481]

@@jan.mmmmmmm goo.gl/images/2i8Gpv

[@cheesesnax2]

The real question is, *why was he in the bed with the ice cream cone?*

[@TM-qk2yy]

*_yes_*

[@Thomas_Varnell]

Why aren’t you?

[@onthelist7463]

Because it was a *SUNDAE*

[@sonoda944]

@@onthelist7463 *shot fired*

[@camayers9943]

The bit at the very end is top quality 👌🏼

[@Rosi_in_space]

3:11 That's from Hemingway! A six-word short story.

[@bananabrain364]

I assure you, there's people out there who think gals can't be "real gamers" for some reason. It's mostly the neckbeard/incel type.

[@Dargonhuman]

There are legit gamer girls out there, but we just call them gamers. For most people, the term "gamer girl" is a reference to either Twitch streamers who aren't good at games but bait thirsty boys to their channel by showing their cleavage or girls who have only played Candy Crush or Angry Birds and think that makes them a "gamer".

[@jan.mmmmmmm]

2:55 _y i k e s_ someone loop this please lmao

[@paytick9034]

HEY GUYS SO BASICALLY MY FAMILY GOT EATEN BY SCORPIONS

[@Toqq]

I believe i have eaten your family then. I ate scorpions.

[@seanmoran9383]

SHIT I FORGOT TO LOCK THE SCORPION CAGE AGAIN

[@buttersmorello]

*Ali-A intro*

[@guaage]

If you read the comments in order, it sounds like a drama and tbh I’d watch it

[@Sturgeostic2444]

3:40 good doggo

[@m_n_m7]

that dog text convo is from a clarke/lexa post on tumblr lol i have seen it so much in so many different contexts now, but those are its origins

[@crowcat2844]

Im selling Johnny Johnny BECAUSE HE KEEPS EATING ALL THE SUGAR GOD DAMN IT

[@johnwilkins11]

This is so exciting Alexa, play Dame Tu Cosita

[@Michael-rj3jz]

Alexa play dead meme

[@czarii2422]

I remember saying that somewhere,. We must revive this meme!

[@johnwilkins11]

@@czarii2422 Damn right we should

[@nzyafi8584]

This is so funny XDDDDD

[@mihaelkostadinoski]

*When you get the notification but haven't even subbed*

[@Fanrose2475]

KZbin IS TELLING YOU SOMETHING

[@waterloggeddoggo]

"Who says ogers can't surf" Dude that shit caught me off guard

[@tomat315]

Wasn’t the baby shoes thing from a Vsause video

[@madisonp2835]

No joke i was tuning out and thinking about school and then he says *people with dimples cannot be nurses it’s against the law* and I was taken aback by that and was like yo what the hell

[@NotCreativeToby]

Now to complete the ritual we need to... STAPLE BREAD TO TREES!

[@ihatewatermelons2677]

Not gonna lie you kinda look like that scooby doo guy slazo

[@RtistiqSkubie]

I hate watermelons Shraggy?

[@Anty_2]

Lumiliu he’s more like Fred, they both like traps

[@overtlyblonde9848]

Zoinks

[@bingobongo9353]

like, *zoinks* scoob

[@abbylewis1904]

I actually kind of want that Walmart pole, sir.

[@andrewmorris483]

I need that Walmart pole. Also about the coffin, "Yeah we surely thought granny was about to bite it, but sure enough she pulled through and demanded it be aluminum from her house, so this one ain't gonna work next month."

[@gamerguyandsomenumbers]

I crave food variety I don't know what to say next We live in a Society *BOTTOM TEXT*

[@ari-io6vi]

Perfection in it's purest form🙏🏼

[@yumisallallisyum577]

better than shakespeare

[@johnnyminecraft8255]

Jojo, Jojo Yes D'Arby? Are you going to hit me with your right? No! No! No! Telling Lies? YES! YES! YES! Ora Ora!? Ha, Ha- ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAROAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA!!!!!!!!

[@bingobongo9353]

man jojo part 5 is lookin great

[@JacketCK]

Mosin Nagant perfection

[@Azuraion]

Cue the funky music!

[@letmepeekatchu1309]

Is this a jojo refrence

[@mikeman9090]

Is that a jojo reference

[@thatoneguy5918]

I just realized I need a Walmart pole

[@mygonvega]

same

[@lemonswsushi3644]

"They've been worn-- a little bit-- If you-- I mean define worn." Hhhhhh

[@zackwars3085]

2:55 7:31 truly a masterpiece

[@lollipop64440]

uwu subu safariii ooowoo please don’t put ur hot stuff in me owo

[@averygudpocketscoot6481]

**Jazz music stops**

[@mankeyfruit4216]

🅱️oulder b🅱️rother

[@Super-wx6br]

uwo ill put anything I wawnt n u

[@nono-ky2yu]

owo, daddy can paint your kitty whenever he wants uwu

[@cryothepunching-bag7917]

:3

[@a29_]

Do you ever just wanna staple bread to a tree and post it online?

[@charissimpson235]

You don’t?

[@sierrasmith6080]

Well I do now

[@cyto4335]

I enjoy watching slazo videos as they are quite entertaining.

[@sweetheart02220]

Much agreed fine lad.

[@ashmarie5049]

The Johnny Johnny asmr gave me tingles and I’m disturbed

[@lukegrave11]

The asmr Johnny Johnny was actually 👌🏼

[@TheodoreMauros]

4:13 when you get trolled, epic style

[@WholesomeLad]

Sub safaria is better than a real safari

[@asbestoss919]

I hate when I’m watching Last of the Mohicans while drunk then giving myself a fresh mohawk as well

[@edgyedgelord477]

That chicken bear is next level horror art and I love it.

[@nickburkhardt7419]

"The diseases are in the dimples" -Slazo 2018

[@Weirdastronount]

Does anyone else see how clean that water is?!? 😍😩😩

[@nolife8622]

Lauren Ketchum the water is so clean I can’t see it

[@xunperfectmsp]

you're the only KZbinr where I watch the whole outro 😔🤠

[@thegameres816]

If the shoes are in you ... Are they wearing you?

[@TeekoNST]

Some one :Wal-Mart pole for 15 dollars Me:TAKE MY MONEY!

[@ssnowypug]

5:20 there are two types of people in this world

[@nataliapadlewska8580]

Johny Johny will haunt you forever

[@KittyCat-qj1tk]

Johnny Johnny Yes papa Haunting Slazo No papa

[@pepper.ed_bee7538]

wait...do you not get the stapled bread joke?

[@pepper.ed_bee7538]

yep

[@meraki3898]

Soviet who Cuts humans have probably always done dumb shit, but we just don’t know about it because back then they couldn’t take a pic and put it online

[@lydialondis]

wait there was a joke

[@bloodbitt]

I do not Enlighten me

[@guaage]

i dunno what the joke is but I like the stapled bread pictures

[@maripaws]

When you want to watch stuff related to your fandom but watch this instead.

[@jameshanrahan5197]

That pic u used for one of thoes poles of the coop liquor is just down the road from my house

[@AweomeMan5000]

I’m so glad KZbin recommended you to me cuz you’re my favorite KZbinr

[@juicyjewels5454]

The walmart pole it's for purely "scientific" purposes. 😏

[@juicyjewels5454]

@500 subscribers without videos What is this tinder??

[@LadyFireShelf]

You should have said “I do the safari, and you guys sub”

[@leedan6618]

Baby shoes for sale never been worn. (Have been in ass XD)

[@savetheetreees]

I've been binging your channel for the past week

[@kcrash7150]

"Learn colors for kids with feet painting, finger family song" then you see slazo's face right next to it as he clicks away

[@SilliestURL]

2:37 that’s some nightmare fuel wtf

[@carlbrandt209]

7:00. OMG SLSZO GOT WOSHED HEEHEE

[@phoebetyrer9087]

A different tshirt

[@BitterYumiko]

phoebe o.t ayyy like your profile picture

[@chedplug106]

kpop bad

[@phoebetyrer9087]

@@chedplug106 I'm sorry you feel that way :( I respect your opinion 👌

[@pixelatid]

2:34 That's the picture used for that one SCP. Lol.

[@blockmangopro8206]

*ExPoSEd Lol xD*

[@sneeznoodle]

Those images of Shaggy are beautiful

[@KM-mw3jp]

I hope in hundereds of years, long our culture falls apart, the future of humanity finally discovers a flash drive, buried deep under ash and ruins. After weeks of trying to access the files... they finally do! It’s a scientific feat for them! And what they find; hundreds of pictures of bread stapled to trees. But oh! This society, that focuses so hard on sciences, maths, and history are determined to translate and discover the importance of this strange ancient food stapled to trees. They learn that this is an ancient and important form of communication, a sacrifice to some God that those ancient primates worshiped. Suddenly! The hipsters of the future, take on this ancient symbol as their own, soon every house, tree, and car has a piece of bread stuck to it. It becomes a futuristic totem, of their undying love for history and for the reglions and mythology of the past. It’s common to see it everywhere, even though the older ones have a hard time understanding why it’s so important to the youngsters. Teens begin getting tattoos of the important symbol, painting them into artwork, marking their belongings with them, etc. They use our symbol, most without even knowing the “true” meaning of the sacred tree breads. With all their scientific feats, this is the one that many scientists will be the proudest of; finding and decoding this ancient symbol. And yet; none of them will ever know, that these trees... mean nothing, and were just a product of food waste and free time.

[@AstoundingAmelia]

Nice ending

[@olympiccuber4497]

This needs way more likes.

[@estela6226]

SLAZO PLEASE make an ASMR video. I think it would be perfect. Even if you make it as a joke... please.

[@jenniferrose6400]

I cant waint for the johny johny meme to die lmao 😂

[@zashed18]

M. rta. Wdym 50% of them are already dead.

[@VesperLilly]

I searched paused at the right moment pictures n google, and I was wheezing and laughing so hard just like the guy looking at sims patch notes

[@clairebear-96]

listen. michael. i’m stoned out of my mind and the “zoinks scoob” is killing me