Small talk isn't about size...

Small talk isn't about size...
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#smalltalk #connection #strangers

[@trevorfielding8576]

"Connecting with someone is much more about dancing, whatever music is playing, what's important is that you're in rhythm." -Social Animal

[@enso7890]

Very interesting concept of treating social interaction as a form of active meditation. Loved the Bruce Lee quote too.

[@socialanimal]

Glad you liked it :)

[@dashaott849]

The hard part now is that people give off don’t talk to me signals through body language and having their attention on their phones all the time. It’s easier to start a conversation with someone that is aware and making eye contact. Plus women tend to be concerned about safety and not talking to strange men. We are a very lonely society in the USA. And the lockdown and COVID fear has made it worse.

[@socialanimal]

Thank you for sharing Dasha :) You are touching on a few things I would like to respond to. The first thing is regarding people giving off do not talk to me signal. Its easy to make assumption about people but I learned from experience that 1- you have no idea whats in people's mind and 2- test these assumption, and be curious to see for yourself. Furthermore I would add to that point that if you want to say something to someone, as long as you have good intention, you should be able to genuinely express yourself regardless of these assumptions... The second part about women being concerned is also I think an assumption. It is true that there is some situation that could be concerning but it is also true that they are many situations that are fine. Each situation has so many variables that you would not know anyway so as long as you have good intention, I would focus on expressing yourself. Here are a few videos where these topics are talked about. Good luck out there and do not hesitate to reach out at [e-mail] kzbin.info/www/bejne/Zp2ug4Bta9p5m6s kzbin.info/www/bejne/mIukmHqfectlotE kzbin.info/www/bejne/anq5nnidotaVobs kzbin.info/www/bejne/nXykc4CrrdWmask

[@dsc5085]

After COVID, I think the desire for people to want to talk to strangers may actually be greater now

[@NINERAZR]

Most definitely people are asocial as hell. I thought it was just me

[@ReubMann]

This is cope

[@Ufunny20]

It’s definitely a bit of cope but yall cant deny that he aint wrong no stranger gives a shit to socialize anymore

[@primal2k7]

I spend a lot of time on KZbin, but this man, this insight, hit me so hard. And the quote from Bruce Lee, oh lord... To be is to be related. 🤯

[@socialanimal]

Glad you liked it, you'll probably enjoy the videos in the "Philosophy" playlist, check them out and let me know :)

[@sujaymishra7303]

Underrated channel. This man needs more subs so more people can listen in on this

[@slymastera]

Great content. Being relaxed helps relieve the tension and makes the approach feels more natural like talking someone you already know (a best friend like you said).

[@socialanimal]

Thank you :) But i would even go deeper and say the anxiety is a symptom that something in the way you perceive things is a bit off so that you can challenge your perception until it feels good. Our behavior unfolds from the way we perceive the world, therefore if you want to change your behavior you must seek to understand the underlying beliefs and assumption.

[@slymastera]

Social Animal True. That’s deep

[@socialanimal]

Haha I am working on a video about confidence that talks about that. Don’t hesitate to share any ideas, feedbacks, thoughts for videos you would like to see :)

[@socialanimal]

Negopi Lirshar hahah

[@slymastera]

Social Animal I think confidence comes from constant, consistent and purposeful exposure to different scenarios in the domain you’re trying to get good at. For example, if you approach women and you’ve experienced these scenarios: she’s married, has a boyfriend, ignores you, on the phone, listening to music, kisses you, ignores you, goes on a date then and there, gives you her number, etc you essentially have nothing to fear when approaching because you’ve experienced if not all, a majority of the scenarios you will when speaking to random women. Now you really have “nothing” to fear because you know what to expect because you have exposed yourself to it before. This makes you confident because nothing you experience now will be new, so why would you be scared of something you’ve already experienced. I always tel myself “You can’t because you haven’t” meaning you are more likely to be able to do something the more you practice that skill. Essentially confidence comes from hard work and consistent exposure.

[@filipporomani6038]

This channel is a gem! Thank you for your precious insight!

[@socialanimal]

Thank you for the support ;)) Anything you enjoy in particular?

[@austinanderson4206]

@@socialanimal I found your channel from Nathaniel Drew and wow! I love your good heart and generosity - I think this whole movement of "real social dynamics" is an incredibly harmful con. But I love how you lead with good intentions and a great heart

[@socialanimal]

@@austinanderson4206 Hey Austin :) thank you so much for the kind words, you have no idea how encouraging it is to hear :) thank you! What do you mean by you discovered the channel through Nathaniel Drew, you mean on the subreddit? Also, feel free to reach out at [e-mail], I love to facetime with everyone watching my videos :) Where are you located by the way? Have a great day!!!! :)

[@austinanderson4206]

@@socialanimal I would love to! Yes, the subreddit about essentialism! Reading about it now and love acquiring new knowledge on development from kind-hearted people. I would love to Facetime! I have a bit of work to do so I will contact you tn (for me). I am located in Philadelphia PA. Have a great day as well!

[@MarkSamuelson32]

Just wanted to say you've helped me a lot.

[@socialanimal]

❤️

[@ojo54761]

I love how short and to the point your videos are!

[@socialanimal]

Thank you :) Checkout the videos in the "Philosophy" playlist, you'll probably enjoy them too :)

[@andygarcia4497]

I have only read the title and listened to 5 sexonds. My conclusion is that size does not matter. Thank you for that i needed it

[@petervanzyverden]

to follow your excitement, without expectation of outcome. Simple and profound

[@ccastillo36540]

So simple yet so truly. It's like a key.if the door open great but if not then it's OK to just move on

[@hermann3800]

I have learned from a lot from this video, thanks for sharing what you’ve learned from experience

[@kenzyvaz7201]

A fellow French 🇲🇫? I'm very glad you made this video,in parallel to your situation i need to learn to speak to a person in the French language(French is my 2nd language) so i understand the difficulty, and also how brave you are to do this, your English is amazing!

[@barrbudo]

He does a fine job pronouncing the English "th," which throws a lot of French speaking people off.

[@aaronworkeman7188]

Well said! Definitely something I want to really focus on doing in my life

[@socialanimal]

:)

[@Von_RX]

Ruben, this is powerful advice! I feel like this channel is a hidden gem.

[@Impulse_Intent]

And that’s the problem I’m a size queen

[@Mecca188]

This channel is changing my life

[@vilemtuma4733]

For me for most of the things i do i follow the rule of being as natural and honest as possible, for me this works perfect.

[@samikarim8569]

Hi, your video are very cool and helpful ! I don't know if you have already made a video about socializing in a group of people but if not that would be great bc I kinda struggle w/ that. Thank you for your work!

[@badmuse]

the true case of "it's not about how big it is, it's about how you use it"

[@socialanimal]

Hahaha

[@cauterizercode7000]

Be present

[@socialanimal]

exactly, looking for things is a symptom of absence :)

[@sagetenshi]

This was really refreshing, very glad i clicked on this video! Loved this perspective, thanks for sharing

[@user-ut4zh3pw7l]

you are great

[@Anotherclevername20]

The one frechman who I believe doesn't hate Americans for being Americans. Ima follow my first frenchie

[@Darius_V]

Very good advices. Greetings from Lithuania

[@dreamsaresharedhere_]

I needed this

[@socialanimal]

oh I see you found the playlist :) enjoy :)

[@JoseRamos-fh6ds]

Great video This mindset really helps going to try it out

[@alexanderwindh4830]

If bro would just fix his hair he'd like like a movie star. No wonder

[@vesselinashkar]

Thank you!

[@socialanimal]

:) thank you

[@joeymendez9082]

Hey Ruben, can you talk about how porn affects one’s social skills?

[@anthonys6494]

Brilliant insight G 💪

[@socialanimal]

:) I think you’ll enjoy these videos :) they will present you perspectives you might have not considered, let me know your thoughts :) 1/ About the importance of realizing that talking to people is first and foremost a side effect of expressing yourself. kzbin.info/www/bejne/Zp2ug4Bta9p5m6s 2/ About the importance of having a healthy relationship with your desire kzbin.info/www/bejne/mIukmHqfectlotE 3/About what people miss about confidence: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nWrQpKSZhsqXqbM 4/About the essence of interacting and conversation kzbin.info/www/bejne/fHWakqV7aL-Wr9k kzbin.info/www/bejne/i2Sxi6NoitKba6c 5/About what we really have in common with people and why talking to strangers can be hard kzbin.info/www/bejne/pmSrfK14f7eFhas 6/Why people fear rejection kzbin.info/www/bejne/bnqri3iCodern6M

[@shaky_lifts]

Yamaha Pacifica in the corner? Great guitar, man.

[@socialanimal]

Hahah it was my roommates :)

[@onur62dersimos]

I thought you would be explaining the best topics to talk about in certain locations (parks, school, library etc.) I am glad it didn't go as I expected. Great Video!

[@socialanimal]

Happy you liked it, you'll probably enjoy the videos in the "Philosophy" playlist too, let me know :)

[@ChillinWill]

In conversations I am usually finding that even if I am able to reach this "relaxed" feeling while talking to someone, I have too much to say or I am carrying the conversations. It just seems like no one is honest with what they think or perhaps they don't think in the first place. I am very aware of both of these factors and find a way to end the conversation naturally if the other person isn't interested anymore but it still really bothers me that I can't ever seem to connect with anyone. If you have advice for this I would really appreciate it

[@ewill312]

I have better success connecting with people when i ask them questions and find out about them. Then if i feel led to, i can mention something about me that we have in common. But only if it feels right. I’ve had to realize that most people don’t give a damn about other people or what they do, but they love talking about themselves. Maybe we just need to lower our expectations of people in these interactions. The lower our expectations, the more chance people have to exceed them. Ask for nothing, be grateful for whatever you get. Goodluck 💪🏻

[@gunarasnaca6130]

Very interesting!:)

[@socialanimal]

:)

[@Hombolicious]

Defining someone as a friend should mean you are comfortable with them more than strangers, shouldn't it? You are turning strangers into potential friends. You cannot practically continue 1000 relationships. So some people you will never meet again. What % of people you talk to are becoming long lasting friendships? I guess you widen the pool, practice dynamic conversation, learn new things, and make new friends. But do you make enemies?

[@return3116]

why would you make enemies. most strangers won’t start an argument that easily lol

[@HP-qr4sn]

I think you’re also forgetting there are levels of friendships. My friend at work does not have the same connection as my best friends yet my anxiety level speaking with them remains the same as my friends at home

[@CoperXYZ]

Talking to someone once is better than not at all in my opinion. Even if you learn you don’t enjoy their company

[@alganpokemon905]

ur living room is cool bro haahaha

[@socialanimal]

haha I loved it but I don't live there anymore

[@grey_shady99]

What if it's not the wrong door but rather the wrong key

[@ewill312]

Just a matter of perspective lol thats the same thing

[@attention_shopping]

great stuff

[@socialanimal]

Thank you :) Anything you related with in particular?

[@filippofortunati3611]

You got something of very important and precius you could write a beautiful book on social psychology

[@socialanimal]

happy you like this video, you'll probably enjoy the other ones in the "Philosophy" playlist too :) the book will come at 5 Millions subs :)))

[@filippofortunati3611]

@@socialanimal 😂😂 i think you got deep stuff i can see your journy as been an understanding that touches things that aren't really daily and that can help people why not, i already see your book!🤣👋

[@kazan7316]

​@@socialanimalMaybe the book will make you reach 5M subs ^^

[@SegFault01]

ok edmond dantes

[@socialanimal]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@kiseijuu7420]

Je ne suis pas d’accord avec le point dans lequel tu dis que si tu as une clef et que la porte s’ouvre, c’est bien, si non tant pis ce n’est pas la bonne porte. Car il y a des personnes qui arrivent à s’entendre avec tout le monde, alors que d’un autre coté certains vont avoir + de mal. Ce n’est pas une question de est ce que ca match ou pas, c’est une question de personnalité. Et je pense que tout le monde peut devenir cette personne que tout le monde aime. Typiquement, il y a des gens, dès que tu parles avec eux, tu sais que tu vas rigoler, ces gens là ne cherchent qu’à rire de situations et vont toujours trouver quelque chose de marrant dans ce qu’il se passe autour d’eux. C’est une maniere de voir la vie, et ca se travail

[@CinnamonMay30]

Let’s make a video together man. From yours truly Cinnamon May.

[@rosemarooi_123]

❤

[@herrmanselcher1632]

If it doesn’t open, it’s fine, maybe it’s just the wrong door 😂 Amazing, and there’s only one way to find out!

[@4lfie-]

what movie is the clip at 0:25 from?

[@basquiatttt]

Which movie is this at 0:25?

[@vietnaminvest6656]

so how can a person get relaxed better ? this is too vague. then why people learn dance or swim ? always some basics are necessary.

[@NN-sp9tu]

How can a person get relaxed? Lots of exposure

[@e.t.theextraterristrial837]

That seems like great advice but the it doesn't work for me. It's hard to put on high energy when you're fucking exhausted. When you are tired and being yourself most people don't like it, unless ofc they have high empathy which isnt a lot of people.

[@ziilima]

Tuga

[@dorfo123]

abc

[@socialanimal]

?

[@dorfo123]

@@socialanimal XD I'm just commenting anything so the video gets more relevant. Great work, appreciate a lot

[@socialanimal]

Haha thank you :)

[@Alsyoutubeaccount]

José from milf manor. Please tell me someone else sees it.