Smartware is Making Us Less Smart

[@amritsodhi99]

My Siri never hears me when I call out to it but it woke up in a jiffy when Michael said “hey Siri” at the end of the video. I think they’re having an affair.

[@piccalillipit9211]

MY SIRI SAID "SORRY - I CANT DO THAT" LOL

[@FatNorthernBigot]

"Get a first job, then!". That did crack me up, self-references aside.

[@KarrierBag]

Yeah I laughed out loud at that one.

[@Mr3keestylee]

Jedi in a hatchback got me

[@play4dc]

I'm looking forward to a smart bot coming along which will complete key tasks like clean, cook, go to work for me, raise my daughter and keep my wife happy. At that point I can finally fulfill my primary purpose of mindlessly doom scrolling on social media as our internet overlords require.

[@raystewart3648]

lmao, that made me laughcry

[@Pymmeh]

There's a sticker on my washing machine saying it has "AI". It's given me tremendous joy, I love the idea that a completely new sentient intelligence has its birthcry in my utility room and the only thing it's allowed to do for the rest of its life is clean my underpants.

[@im1fadedRob]

Imagine thinking AI means "sentience intelligence" when AI has literally just been algorithms for years. Like are you an actual child that never played a game before? That's been called AI for decades, but it's obviously not sentient or actually intelligent. Stop expecting "AI" to be "AGI" when we're nowhere near there.

[@Pymmeh]

@@im1fadedRob haha calm down Robert. It was just a joke.

[@veganbutcherhackepeter]

That's like straight out of a Douglas Adams novel. Planet of the washing machines.

[@anemicsilence]

😂😂😂😂

[@mrc2595]

As a fellow Gen X-er, Michael, I really appreciate the way you skipped right over Gen X! Many thanks.

[@nikkibirdsong1757]

I was just about to say this. lol

[@carolinecrollick6305]

My Mum and Stepdad are like that with their smart tv and their smart iron.

[@johannahoneyman697]

I was thinking the same thing 😂

[@ahahaha3505]

Your fridge won't be happy when it sees this.

[@FloodSkinner]

Sci-fi warned us of the existential danger of talking toasters in the 1980s but we didn’t listen.

[@kirishima638]

I bought a pair of Smart trainers but they ran away

[@MEKKANNOID]

It turns out shoes have soles

[@neilsanghvi5229]

I hope Michael Macintyre doesn't see this.

[@amritsodhi99]

“Alrighttt, mateee” I’m dead😂😂

[@clivewoods4975]

Brilliant at the end. SIRI just subscribed and liked from the kitchen LOL

[@LimeyRedneck]

I can hear The Door in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy! 😅

[@peterrenn6341]

mmmmmmmmmm…. Glad to be of service!…..

[@Michael-v7g6f]

This taxi driver conversation sounds uncannily like a real one the author has actually had...

[@northernhighlandmist1478]

the London Cabbie mode killed me!! 😂🤣😂🤣😂

[@nalodailec]

Every word is the truth. Thank you Mr Spicer.

[@rachelAO]

Food blenders have a real attitude problem. Killed me!

[@dirt_diver13]

I'm so glad I discovered your channel, mate 😊😊

[@danmorseth]

Jedi in a Hatchback is gonna be the name of my first album

[@Westmen0]

8:59 - "... REQUEST DENIED, YOU HAVE EXCEEDED YOUR DAILY CAFFEINE INTAKE."

[@PhilipMurphy8Extra]

This KZbin channel is well worth watching

[@ThisAintNews]

my Ipipe recommended it

[@autiethoughties6898]

To be fair, some smartware is useful for disabled people who can't get up to turn a lightswitch on or whatever. SOME.

[@manuela9671]

yes, some, and only some and also only sometimes. My smart bulb usually lets me hanging when I want to change color or want to switch it on from afar... or, weirdly, during some certain hours it won't work, so the bloody remote is useless and I have to get up to kill the lights (or the light bulb, which I want to do then... then next day I usually forget I switched it off and throw a tantrum on it since it won't work...) ☺😅

[@autiethoughties6898]

@@manuela9671 Oh yeah, SOME of it's useful when it WORKS. 🤦 If your wi-fi's down, tough.

[@rchas1023]

You still need a ten-year-old to help you use them.

[@remusracingro3884]

When you are this ancient, I believe so. :)))

[@ahmedsalah8396]

​@@remusracingro3884 If you have nothing good to say, refrain from saying anything at all.

[@LimeyRedneck]

'Would you like some toast?..' 'No? How about some crumpets??.' 'Oh, a few English muffins??? What kind of bread products would you like toasted!?!' A toaster. Red Dwarf.

[@IamRobotMonkey]

Not just any toaster, Talkie Toaster of Crapola Japan. Have a thumb, smeghead xx

[@peterrenn6341]

Eddie the shipboard computer and the doors in H2G2.

[@Nick.Brough]

So you’re a waffle man? 😂

[@juliewake4585]

“Michael McIntyre: for f•••s same “. My sentiments exactly.

[@johnpoile1451]

To name but one.

[@Patrick-jj5nh]

I just realised you need to name and brand these videos as a series...and it should be called "Spicer's Spicy Take"

[@kenearl5810]

Our smart doorbell kept ringing at random throughout the day and night, when there was no one there. We then discovered that a spider was building a web in front of it and triggering the motion sensor. We now have hours of video footage of a spider building a web - no actual visitors though 😞

[@PhillipParr]

I love all my smart stuff, but Google Home is thick as a plank. I really wish they'd hurry up and put one of these large language models into it, so it could be slightly less thick.

[@pawsonalpetcare]

All cat litter trays tell you when they've been used if you have a sense of smell.

[@BrockSamson-i1i]

if you're waiting until you can smell it, then you're waiting too long. imagine what your cats can smell before you can, yuck

[@pawsonalpetcare]

@@BrockSamson-i1i I'm talking about after they've done a shit. It's hard to remove before they've done it.

[@peterrenn6341]

I don’t need the litter tray to tell me. The cat informs me first.

[@Helga-fe5xl]

Not according to cat owners

[@Helga-fe5xl]

People with the grimiest houses always swear by roombas 😅

[@christinavuyk2026]

Have always wanted a Star Trek style computer in the house but you couldn’t pay me enough to get that Alexis or Siri setup, they just totally creep me out 😅

[@BrockSamson-i1i]

LCARS is the goal :)

[@BrockSamson-i1i]

fun fact, the voice of the LCARS computer is voiced by the beautiful Majel Barrett Roddenberry, the wife of Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry. She also played number one in the TOS pilot episode 'The Cage' and played Luxwanna Troi on TNG and DS9

[@mityaboy4639]

And she recorded everything for someone to be able to create a system with her voice forever. Its a real shame that we can’t get any of that - i mean i would even PAY for siri or google assistant to stop saying “what can i do for you” and just make the “computer listening” sound effect and then talk back using the voice of Majel Barett. Computer; initiate comment sending sequence and engange

[@Adam-tn7yk]

The content just gets better. Keep up the good work Michael

[@biggusdoggus]

My car is indeed like my dog. I call it and it totally ignores me.

[@simonhodgetts6530]

I did my design degree dissertation (30yrs ago) on how technology was no longer saving us from labour and chores, but was in fact giving us more and more to do, and was unnecessarily complicating our lives. Smart tech seems to have accelerated this. Luckily, the only ‘Smart’ tech I have to interact with is a work smart phone - and I spend more time responding to software updates, changing passwords, trying to sync the thing to something else, and generally getting it to function. It’s utterly useless in its primary role - a telephone. I use a 25 yr old dumb phone - it just works! Similarly my work laptop has been broken for around 18 months - I’ve rejected it, but the manufacturer keeps trying to repair it. Thing is, I have 30, 40, even 50 yr old appliances and electronic goods that just work - they do one thing - really well. Same with my car- it’s 14 yrs old, and it just works, unlike my colleagues’ up to date cars, which are laden with all manner of useless functions, and keep having to go back to the garage.

[@MargaritaMagdalena]

I love having a smartphone. The internet is full of good information.

[@simonhodgetts6530]

@@MargaritaMagdalena I’m obviously on the internet - I have an iPad - otherwise I’d not be able to watch this video………I just don’t need to access the internet continuously while I’m on the move.

[@MargaritaMagdalena]

@@simonhodgetts6530 I do 😋

[@philcrawford325]

I'm intrigued by the plant on the window sill. Has a section of the blind been cut out to accommodate the plant and the pot it's in? I know that's ridiculous but so am I, so it's consistent, at least.

[@SideShowCecil1977]

Netflix doesn't have 1940's Gangster Movies either 😟 Well, in Germany anyway

[@TheGrimStoic]

Smartphones have been making us less smart for twenty years, but you haven't noticed since we've already vegetated. I identify as a head of broccoli, by the way.

[@ac5788]

I don't get caught out by a gag often, but the hacker fridge line did me.

[@Blitterbug]

Oh, Michael! Diaper? I know you need to reach the 'Murican demographic, but still...

[@wufflesthespider]

I was just checking someone else noticed that.

[@ipb1966]

I noticed that too ☹️

[@juliewake4585]

That did also occur to me. 😂

[@BradsPitts.]

Michael Spicer is my favorite fictional middle aged English man

[@minimark123]

Love these new format videos keep them coming. Curious as to why you used the currency dollars for the treadmill and the word diaper not nappy. Presumably yt ad revenue is higher if you get Yanks watching? I have noticed a few other channels slipping that in.

[@larasheart6579]

i dont have a smart anything, thank you...

[@Alan-xxxxxx]

Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 was actually called Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel. Perhaps that's why your Netflix got confused

[@juliewake4585]

You’re right Michael; cats really don’t like us much at all, only as far as we feed them and allow them to sleep in the comfiest spot available in the house.

[@margueritehann-syme5137]

Such a pleasure listening to you, this time I couldn't watch, the lipsync was so out of whack, then I wondered if you were spoofing lipsync 😂❤

[@TheBooves]

We have that litter tray! He mentioned a thing I have! I now feel justified in buying a giant robot poop tray. Which I still have to clean. And only one cat uses it. It cost £600….

[@allenelliott5647]

I think this is your best video since The Room Next Door. And the ones since then have been great! I'm sitting in a coffee shop laughing like a loon at the toxic relationships between the kitchen appliances 😂😂😂 Ironically, watching on my smartphone 😮

[@Thats_Mr_Random_Person_to_you]

The number of references to Netflix across all of your content makes me think you're wanting your 'Netflix Comedy Special' about now.... contrary to your video about 'Netflix Comedy Specials'...... 😜

[@The_BenboBaggins]

The worst thing about driverless cars is poor old Jonny has lost his cabby job before it even began! 😢

[@jamez13b]

That was genius. Tragically true though!

[@AcappellaTidbits]

"Ross Kemp would set this country straight..." That took me OUT.

[@piccalillipit9211]

*MY SIRI SAID "SORRY - I CANT DO THAT"* Hahahahahahah

[@CulturePhilter]

Who’s still on pay-as-you-go internet? That would mean using the internet more wound cost more unexpectedly?

[@boogiemarsh]

Siri , said he didn't understand that , thank you hahahaha

[@Housestationlive]

great as always!

[@lidbass]

Hey! don't knock the toilet! A few years ago I was lucky enough to visit Japan, and there was a smart toilet in my hotel room. I investigated every single button. Happiest fifteen minutes of my life! Thinking about it, that's probably not the sort of thing I should be writing on a KZbin comments section...

[@canonball1914]

Brilliant, Alexi here.

[@CraigEmpson]

This was a great video, Mate.

[@Silverbirchleaf]

How does the London cabbie mode sound like my mother with a head cold. The dubious political leanings and taste in comedy are uncanny

[@indoora]

I literally use my phone to call and text, but from time to time I will look up a location or a fact when I'm in a conversation. The thing about technology is it's great when it works but it makes people dependent on it so when it breaks down, they have no clue what to do.

[@PeteTonkin]

Siri just went "Huh?". I have never heard Siri go "huh?" before.

[@IamRobotMonkey]

Jedi In A Hatchback is my favourite song by the Smyths

[@TheSuf]

Genius Your best work to date 😂👍

[@smorris12]

I prefer my old appliances - they weren't smart, but they had good common sense.

[@manuela9671]

sadly, you won't get any old normal devices anymore, it all is silicone or "with Alexa" or Siri or with whathaveyou abilities. And I am not able to cope, really. ☺ I think I am a normal girl, I need the utmost normality in things. It has to be without anything really. Or I am unnerved, mostly. So that will be a nice future, won't it. ☺😆

[@CalumCarlyle]

12:25 - "involved in" is an interesting choice of phrase. I wonder why you didn't say "responsible for". Also, how do those statistics stack up against fatalities caused by human drivers?

[@maicholor2849]

The smarter the phone, the dumber the user!

[@susanlynch1966]

"Michael McIntyre FFS" I feel the same.

[@justinl5182]

Old man laughs at old man that shouts at sky 🤣

[@andyeccentric]

My favourite "sensible chuckle" tier comedian

[@Eddiepl75]

I have that fridge, I feel attacked 😂

[@N00bvlog]

Siri: "I don't understand, it's already liked and subscribed."

[@JordanMillsTracks]

Ahh tbf i love my smart bulb, i love sleeping in my disco

[@heeeeeresrossy]

Best one yet 😂😂👌

[@shia_labeouf]

I know it's for the joke but the point about hacking smart devices isn't to manipulate the device itself, it's to move laterally from that to other, higher value, devices like laptops and phones which are on the same network. Smart tech normally has poor security compared to the important devices. Think of it like having a bunch of door chains and Yale locks on your house but a crappy rusty padlock on your garage door, even though there is an internal door from the garage to the house. It's not your old bike or rusty lawnmower they want, it's an easy route to your jewellery and TVs.

[@happybunny8199]

That, and botnets if the attack happens to be a super widely reproducible one/not as detectable. I have also heard of ransomware ending up on a smart fridge although it's hard to be sure that was really the intended outcome.

[@wakingtheworld]

6:07 'All of us have a smart phone now'. Do we? My 19yo vintage Nokia is still going strong; only on its 3rd battery. Apps? I can actually live without them. The less BB knows the better. So I can't whoosh my phone when travelling by train/attending a concert/conference. I have to print my tickets. Seriously though, anything with the word smart, is to be avoided like the plague! Nice one Michael.

[@DerekNewtonKeswick]

That BBC ad with Zoe-bloody-Ball where she says ‘your smart speaker is seriously smart’ - no it bloody isn’t. Most of these devices are just voice recognition devices and far too often they don’t even recognise your voice!

[@Housestationlive]

wait a minute i'm setting my spy camera watch, with the manual instructions only available in japanese.

[@incremental_failure]

6:53 was perfect.

[@Alteredfrenzy]

How dare our smart devices not know that they can just use the local network to communicate instead of wasting time going to the internet and back for everything! Time for smart devices to act like it!

[@DragonQ]

Not all smart devices need to be connected to the internet and you definitely should avoid doing so unless the device 100% requires it, in which case you should probably consider another brand. Mate.

[@BrockSamson-i1i]

yup, shop about and you dont need subscriptions. for my google devices, dyson devices and reolink cameras, none require subs

[@duncanparsons]

I'm now wondering about how the old 80s classic "Smart Casual" is going to manifest in this age of kafka devices..

[@peterhofmann8292]

Yet another great critique of our present day.👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@GrinStudios1]

I think there's also an element of consumerism at play here: people simply wanting to buy the best possible version of an object

[@Iamnosey]

Love your humor 😊

[@Moosingit]

Red Dwarf foretold our reality with the AI Toaster

[@ericdanielski4802]

Nice ideas.

[@Moloko_b]

Michael Spicer's Spicy Kitchen. I'd watch that on Netflix ;) And the driverless car AI was spot on, mate

[@The_BenboBaggins]

I've not long ditched my 'smart watch' for an old school analogue watch that only has three hands, the day and date. If nothing else, I got pissed off with charging the bloody thing every 4 days or so...

[@chrismodski6284]

"AI" is generally a solution in search of a problem, while adding new problems. Our progenitors would have nothing to do with it. People STILL want simple, safe, and reliable. Adding unnecessary complexity and experimental technology, which also hoards and sells our personal data... all that goes in the opposite direction of "value added" for the consumer. Look, the washing machine was an important and revolutionary labor-saving device, as are many appliances, but now you need AI to switch it on and select a mode? Who exactly asked for a computer inside every little thing? Nobody, that's who. It's been pushed on us and made trendy, mostly because they took all the old stuff away. It's mostly less-reliable garbage that costs a fortune and threatens our privacy. Fukit.

[@veganbutcherhackepeter]

'What are they going to do, hack my washing machine and add an extra spin?" Interestingly, that's pretty much exactly what 'Stuxnet' did to the centrifuges at that Iranian nuclear facility.

[@raffiefoxmew3691]

Satire only functions when it has some element of reality in it. This was satire from the planet zogg.

[@D.von.N]

In the meantime, I got smarter in my later 40s and decided to switch my old laptop from like 15 years ago on Linux and even replace a broken hinge, by myself. Never in my dreams I thought I would do such things with computers. Smart appliances? Hell no. Even showing a middle finger to Microsoft and its AI and recall. My memory is great still, thankyouverymuch!

[@tonib5899]

You would think people would start to develop an issue with everything being called smart except themselves. Yet the technology does have a fair point.

[@arteme.5009]

damn that netflix ai speaks like that one ship droid from swtor

[@KarrierBag]

Only smart thing I have is a 2016 mobile phone, everything else is 'old skool' like my 55 year old home (A boat) oh yes, my Laptop is also from 2016 and it's not that smart either.

[@wakingtheworld]

My mobile is from 2005, as is my laptop. Windows 7. They tell me I'm unsupported but do I need to be supported by Pharma [Bill] Gates?

[@RH1812]

I’m happy I have no smart wear. A phone and my music playing ball… that’ll do me.

[@melodymonger]

Watching my partner trying to get her cloth-eared iPhone Siri to set a timer while her MacBook Air Siri tries to take over is a comedy sketch in itself. Both Siris are hilariously inept. And for all Siri #1's cloth-earedness she sometimes butts into our conversation with some off the wall "mm-hmm" or "here's what I found...". She reminds me of Roger Irrelevant from Viz comic. I wouldn't trust AI as far as I could throw it!

[@peterrenn6341]

He’s completely hatstand!

[@melodymonger]

@@peterrenn6341 He is too 😂👍

[@garjian0]

Haha, great video. I tell you who makes me laugh though... .

[@asteverino8569]

You articulate many thoughts I have very well. You're more useful than my Alexa gives you credit for. A wise wise guy. Thanks.

[@puremusicdaz]

i'll bet i'm not the only one who doesn't own a single spy, sorry, smart device?

[@mat5267]

You are posting on KZbin. So you are using a connected device. You are still being tracked. VPN or not.

[@BrockSamson-i1i]

@@mat5267 cookies doesn't make the device smart. a smart device has very specific functionality

[@damsel72]

“Am I Bothered!”

[@JD-cw4qg]

a Jedi in a hatchback 😂😂