Revealing Our Dating Histories w/ Chanse McCrary | Smosh Mouth 17

[@kenna_elyse]

shayne absolutely fighting for his life during the “dating a friend” conversation 😭 he’s like guys i promise that dating your best friend works

[@Idk_My_Name]

It sure did 😂

[@BrodyInPink]

Timestamp?

[@tttttt-pk5jq]

​@@BrodyInPink the last chapter

[@sleepguy1]

THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING HAHAHA

[@Mr_NB628]

I was thinking the exact same thing

[@chrisxxc648]

Shayne has to dress up as tuba boy on try no to laugh against Amanda 😅

[@waterstarjen]

OMG!! Yes!!😂

[@crazybean8515]

YES OMGGG-

[@IceArceus_]

Playing the same tune he did when Amanda mentioned it lol. Like the family guy episode.

[@MMBLAST]

Boost this omg

[@rachelrussell293]

More like dress down since the dude didn’t have a shirt 😅

[@nokkamuki9010]

I'm 100% crying at Chance's story about holding hands in the couch cushions. Like that's such a touching moment, so sweet of that guy for wanting to hold his hand but also wanting to make sure he doesn't feel pressured to come out in that moment

[@PenelopeAstony]

oh wow same. I'm like two notches away from ugly cry right now lmao

[@sikka6440]

Yes, that story was so cute 🥺

[@Fido06]

Love how supportive Chanse and Amanda were of Shayne. Slowly understanding why he is the way he is and them not letting him blame himself for the pressure he was under. So wholesome

[@lindsayschechert9050]

such a sweet moment to see them acknowledge something that even he didn't seem to realize. love the unfolding of shayne.

[@jimjimjimmy7793]

I loved that. You can tell they’re really friends

[@azahora22]

I really hope he finds someone nice.

[@emmabunch-benson4795]

That was beautiful therapeutic even

[@Princesssmelly]

It was honestly a really interesting perspective on straight boys o:

[@333Vampirewillrule33]

It's fascinating hearing the guy side of the dating world without the misogyny so many pickup artists lean into. I hope they continue the convo

[@chickensandwich8808]

Honestly as a straight man, yes. So much of the misogyny undermines the actual appeal to humanity that could be gleaned. Not to mention the blatant disregard for the horror stories women deal with. While yes, a bad date for us men can cause us to go into a depressive funk, and some have potential self harm results because of it, all those consequences are to some degree within our control. But if a woman has a bad date, she might not make it home that night. That dichotomy is VERY important not just for living life and understand different perspectives but also in the self improvement of men. So many men I have met and talked with believe their I tensions are good, but the issue is wheb we are "nice" as a means of gaining romantic capital then the relationship itself is based on transaction rather than genuine care of the other person. It causes a sense of false entitlement rather than appreciating someone wanting you for you. As much as the higher rate of loneliness in men is on the face of it a bad thing; it's also a mecessary thing for collective growth. Another big problem is the influencer train in the mano-sphere. The Andrew Tates, and similar people who gift off of that loneliness and also prey on younger women. And, to be fair, yes there are toxic perspectives that are adopted by women as well, but it's important to remember that those perspectives are reinforced by men. It's not as simple as saying "men/women bad" but that's what makes reactionaries feel better at the time and it hurts all of us in the long run.

[@preciousonejewel]

yesss hearing about how they only learned the "pick up" and nothing after makes so much sense.

[@joie3245]

@@chickensandwich8808 men like you deserve to have the kind of platforms that the Andrew Tates of the world currently have!!! shutting down the misogynistic perspective really opens the door for us women to feel safe enough to be more honest about what can lead to things not working out on our side of it. one aspect to the loneliness issue is definitely that men struggle to form multiple quality connections with the fellow men in their lives as well!! straight women know how to form quality/deep caring relationships with their women friends and can carry that over into their partnerships with men. Men oftentimes experience that level of connection for their first times in relationships with women, and consequently are very new to the ins and outs of healthily maintaining them. The more practice they can get out of forming those stronger emotional bonds with their friends who are men, I think can lead to a stronger ability to maintain healthier relationships with women. Anyways this conversation can go on for so long, but I wanted to emphasize the importance of your words!

[@kpachii560]

@@tylmfthis is a very interesting look in to it maybe it’s the male emotional state being taken out on to woman very interesting..

[@UnBesoDeCristal]

​@@tylmflmao

[@isacarral2736]

Shayne just needs to realize that having no game can be his game Some girls are into that

[@ericataylor7618]

💯

[@Alleyhellcat4Ever]

My fiance is such a huge nerd & so awkward with not much game but he instantly won me over with us bonding over nerdy interests & then he also was able to figure out pretty quickly what I love & enjoy

[@thedudefromrobloxx]

The whole point is that game is distorted view of dating that guys have in their head

[@notaspeck6104]

At the end of the day all that matters is having a genuine connection. I feel like societal standards and social media have warped our perception of human connection, it's not something you're supposed to have to force or be 'good' at. It's literally a fundamental part of all of us. You might be a little awkward sure but just be a decent person and you'll find someone eventually lol.

[@Alleyhellcat4Ever]

@@notaspeck6104 that's pretty much my relationship, he was awkward and clumsy with his words, but he and I genuinely connected over our love of nerd stuff & that's how he won me over

[@falliblepossiblygullible2920]

I had my first 'boyfriend' in pre-school. I was 5. He just walked up to me one day and was like 'you're my girlfriend now' and I let him buy me candy. He gave me kisses on my cheek and walked me home. In hindsight, best relationship I ever had.

[@whoiselizabeth]

aweh ! thats actually so cute lol ❤

[@ttintagel]

Same here! His name was Scott, and he looked like a tiny John Denver. I wish adult relationships were that simple, LOL!

[@IceArceus_]

A guy liked me around that age too and all I got from him was a bite mark on my arm.. 😐

[@sherbear6625]

My first was when I was 6 until 7. We met when I walked into class, we held hands and introduced each other, hung out during recess times, sit next to me in class, sit next to me on the school bus, I always saved his spot on the bus and this ginger boy sat next to me and I tried to get him to move because I was saving that spot, even my bf came and told him to move because that was his spot, hinged boy didn’t give a crap and bus driver told my bf to find another seat and he looked at me so sad. Then he held my hands on a school hiking trip & he made me a metal bracelet that him and his dad made for me…I still have the bracelet to this day. Best relationship I ever had and the first only boy who I loved and treated me well

[@KabegamiTheGreat]

what a chad, prolly still does it today

[@shyshy7266]

of course shayne would argue that dating your friend might work. good for them.

[@trashbag2836]

as a plus size woman, a lot of straight guys i’ve dated in the past have had that conversation of being shamed for being attracted to girls they aren’t “supposed to be into” it was really eye opening and refreshing to hear honesty how misogyny and societal standards effect us all

[@sweetembrace6706]

That's not misogyny affecting men. That's mens own view of women as objects, and seeing girlfriends as status symbols biting them in the ass.

[@chadderandom1015]

@@sweetembrace6706 That sounds like a distinction without a difference.

[@codynoth4183]

I'd say that's more about hypergamy more than anything. Now feminists will decry it does not exist but this is a classic example.

[@flyingsquid42]

Plus size women are not attracted to fat guys most of the time. What's your reason?

[@emmabunch-benson4795]

Lol if a dude ever said that to me or made any comment about my body like that I wouldn’t date him

[@MrManTyler]

Shayne has never had a fully successful relationship but his advice is over 10x better than most guys who are able to have successful relationships

[@codynoth4183]

Felt to me like he was really trying to dance around the reasons why it is so difficult for men to date in this day and age trying not to offend any women.

[@emmabunch-benson4795]

You don’t gotta to have a lot of wisdom. Failure as well as deep observation leads to success/wisdom

[@TheSwauzz]

​@@codynoth4183Yeah, I felt that way too. More and more modern women's standards are often unrealistically high and sometimes even unreasonable. Like him being on the shorter side would immediately put off a large chunk of women, sorry. I feel so bad for the average sincere guy trying to find someone these days.

[@maryooowoahh]

@@codynoth4183 what are the reasons you speak of? I feel like he went over the big reasons straight men have trouble dating. (i.e., the manosphere giving out toxic and incomplete information on how to form relationships, people being told they need to like a certain type of person and go for people that are just conventionally attractive but don't have things in common with each other, the domestic violence towards women that leads women to be more on-edge and struggle to trust men they are dating/men coming off as predatory even when they don't intend to, dating apps being so binary and lacking the full nuance to the people you are trying to meet, straight men only getting advice from other straight men, etc). what was he dancing around?

[@codynoth4183]

@@TheSwauzz I do not know how short guys can do it in this day and age. I'm 6'4" tall and spent the majority of my young adult life digging my way out of poverty and I look around now and I ask myself what it was all for.

[@Eggyc94]

omg I played the tuba and imagining a 2nd grader carrying it around and serenading Amanda has me crying

[@KaitLynnHt]

I can't even imagine a 2nd grader holding a tuba sitting on a chair, let alone carrying it around. I keep thinking of the one tuba player we had in high school who was so slight of frame that he once took a nap during marching band practice break cradled INSIDE the coils of his sousaphone. I wouldn't believe he played tuba except I saw it for myself.

[@andytroumbly]

​​@@KaitLynnHtI genuinely believe she's misremembering either the age or the instrument. A tuba is unbelievable for a 2nd grader

[@KaitLynnHt]

@@andytroumbly I hope so. Not that kiddos can't learn real instruments, but we didn't touch them in school until 6th grade. We only got plastic recorders younger than that.

[@kerri6011]

@@andytroumblymaybe they have kid sized tubas, I know kid sized guitars exist

[@rachelrussell293]

😅😅😅😅😂😂😂😂

[@joie3245]

PLEASE do a pt 2, this has been one of the most relatable episodes and I could’ve listened to this for 5 more hours!!!!! I need more of Chanse’s stories!!!

[@waterstarjen]

I agree. I could have listened to this all day.

[@Kiiyoutsu]

Yaaaaassss!!!

[@sierrasingdance]

agreed!!!

[@lamisxo]

i’d love to hear shayne more “open” about dating/marrying your bestfriend now!

[@jakekilemade3313]

Can you imagine how uncomfortable shayne must be trying to talk about dating, while he is dating his co-star in secret

[@birdie7910]

Well it wasn’t a secret to Amanda and Chanse. They all knew just not the public

[@raet6375]

Why would he be uncomfortable? Wouldn’t he just.. not talk about it if he were..?

[@SamanthaIsTyping]

"everyone speaks from their own consequences" is an amazing observation by Shayne

[@nicostoleurgender]

Another banger by Shayne Topp from iCarly 😂 (totally joking, I definitely agree ❤)

[@sytmor]

I honestly think his psychology degree shows so well sometimes and gives a nice perspective

[@pearlygirl88]

Chanse with the “but what were you wearing?” Killed me. Chef’s kiss there.

[@shemybacchus3937]

Chanse has been a great guest on both of his appearances. His episodes have felt the most like a conventional podcast and he's so good at flowing with the conversation. Such a polished storyteller. Amanda is truly someone who has lived a lot of life. It adds so much character to her presence. Although Shayne wasn't chiming in as much, he was still out here dropping gems. When he said that "everyone speaks from their own consequences", it was one of my "Aha moments". 10/10 episode

[@selq7]

I feel like Shayne is just so considerate and thoughtful with how he approaches topics that he really grounds the podcast!

[@Oscardc398]

I’m loving the thoughtful feedback on the podcast

[@jewell-_-]

Shayne: Love can bloom from friendship Amanda: Your lover can be your bestfriend Chanse: F*CK THEM ALL 😂

[@codynoth4183]

That's one of the unfortunate bi-products of homosexuality. A lot of the relationships will end up co-dependent instead of what is considered "healthy love" which typically stems from a solid friendship to begin with and being comfortable around the person as you get to know them instead of that intense attraction at first, and then ignoring differences and making commitments and THEN getting to know them.

[@margauxcy]

@@codynoth4183idk, maybe it's just me, but this is homophobia coded, like unless you're gay and speaking from your personal experience, that's one thing, but you're just coming into this so headstrong against homosexuality, just seems really weird.

[@calebbbrown]

​​@@codynoth4183 bi-products? Bisexual products? I think you mean byproduct sir🤣🤣 Omg im dead

[@codynoth4183]

@@margauxcy I'm coming into this with degrees in psychology along with counseling and therapy. You don't have to be gay to recognize the signs of co-dependency and how it ends up being the worst type of relationships.

[@codynoth4183]

@@calebbbrown I knew exactly what I was typing and will concede nothing.

[@Tarbbytheseas]

This is why Smosh Mouth is so great, one week you are trying to make each other laugh with a fart machine and the next you are having an open and honest conversation about dating.

[@stevenfriedman2902]

I love the joke of how Shayne can't understand something unless he relates it to a movie or show. Like Abed from Community lol

[@donwrrybouti]

loool i thought of abed too

[@Fanthomas1742]

Ironic

[@izzayy_]

my brain immediately thought of abed too lmaoo the irony of relating his issue with relating to tv, to a tv show😭

[@thatsclownshit3145]

idk who abed is but i relate

[@stevenfriedman2902]

@@thatsclownshit3145 You're missing out on a good show then. I highly recommend you watch Community if you like comedy shows

[@StranglerSix]

I love that they all have different perspectives that balance out each other. Amanda lives for the stability, Chanse for the spontaneity, and Shayne is stuck in the middle like a hopeless romantic.

[@mechadoggy]

“Amanda lives for the stability, Chanse for the spontaneity” Not surprising at all

[@ct5625]

Shayne's discussion about not getting into trouble when he was a teen because he was scared of losing everything he was working hard for really makes me sad, and I think they almost hit on exactly why so many child actors end up in disastrous situations later - they don't have the opportunity to rebel when there are safer peers around them, so when they do get the chance to rebel in their 20s they're surrounded by adults and all the problems that those adults bring, issues they wouldn't have been exposed to if they'd had the chance to rebel with other 14/15/16 year olds. I think the lesson here is that everyone is going to rebel at some point, it would be better to let teens rebel with other teens and not delay that process until they're in a worse environment with far more risks and dangers.

[@bondickle]

He's also mentioned before how as CHILD actors, there's the feeling that if you don't "make it" by 18 then you're a failure. Which is an insane amount of pressure for a kid to carry around considering how stressed etc most of us get over exams. It feels like the world is ending when we get bad grades but we don't feel like our entire careers are over at least 😭

[@DomoftheDoctor]

As a guy in his 20s who spent so much of his teens towing the line at every turn, this is really giving me pause for thought. For real, thanks for sharing.

[@fwoosh8038]

Man, as someone who just turned 20 and never really felt the urge to “rebel” before (I’ve been unhappy plenty of times of course, I’m just a lazy ass who didn’t feel like getting ostracized during family events), I’m wondering if I missed my chance 😂

[@kaitlinhogan9072]

I get that parasocial relationships are weird, but I really think that the topics you guys discuss here are probably helping many people unpack some important things about how they see themselves. I also think one of the great things about Smosh is how much personal growth many of the cast members have gone through. It brings a depth to the silliness that many of us appreciate.

[@syfly10]

agreed! being able to connect with these folks personalities (or at least the parts they choose to show in front of the camera) makes their work even more enjoyable

[@TheSwauzz]

Parasocial relationships are unhealthy because people are obsessive and genuinely think content creators give a shit about them personally. It's okay to admire a content creator's content and personality. Just don't make it weird and you're fine.😅

[@cheesecakelasagna]

Check out Hank Green's video on parasocial relationship. Adds a new perspective to the whole topic and how it's actually not black and white discussion.

[@jaggedhd1205]

The death stare from Chanse from being called a Slytherin is just priceless 😂😂

[@heyitzsamurai]

revenge for the princess's best friend comment 🤣

[@JorgePerozalikesbread]

I THINK THAT TOO 😂

[@cheesecakelasagna]

timestamp please?

[@pamelah1220]

The way they talk about him networking is such a Slytherin thing tho. I believe it.

[@liamross340]

shayne being like ‘yeah dating’s rough right now so hard’ while engaged is so funny looking back

[@harmc2301]

Shayne, Amanda, and Chanse together is my favorite trio As someone who’s never dated hearing them say their dating stories makes me laugh so hard I’m not sure why 😭😂

[@notsomj6218]

45:55 shayne just proved it works. congratulations shartneyyyyyy ❤

[@aqwspacefanatic]

Genuinely this was such a great episode that I was actually shocked when it ended. The conversation flowed so well I thought there was still like half an hour left lmao

[@waterstarjen]

Me too!

[@hennessy1992]

Chanse, you already know the secret to finding a partner you just don’t realize it yet. You gotta use your lesbian-adjacency!!! Stop trying to have your gorgeous instagay friends find a gay man for you, enlist a lesbian to find a gay man for you!

[@chansemccrary2766]

Wait this is smart

[@StranglerSix]

You know it's a goated comment when Chanse himself left a reply of realization.

[@hennessy1992]

@@chansemccrary2766 🙏

[@GuyNamedSean]

@@chansemccrary2766Speaking from experience, the lesbians know what's up. My lesbian sister has saved me from toxic bull more than once.

[@120-l3l]

@@chansemccrary2766 the lesbians and gays partnering up for love! ✊ lol

[@chloesweat]

Chanse saying he's lesbian adjacent and then being the member of smosh that has most interacted with my comments on KZbin/tiktok. Has me absolutely rolling. He knows through the screen

[@waterstarjen]

Please do more of this. I’m a 50 year old cis woman who finds dating impossible. I’m even moving because I live in a very small town that has no opportunities. By the way, my kids turned me on to Smosh and I love all you do. ❤

[@Syd448]

This is so sweet, and I agree! As someone who is 30, dating has been impossible for me to for years. Idk how people do it but hearing this makes me feel less alone!

[@clarkcampbell6890]

lol, as a 50 year old gay guy i agree so much. And it's also hard because i've never been into the 'usual' gay stuff so finding another gay guy with similar interests is really tough

[@tdelioncourt1268]

I'm 30 and aromantic (in short do not feel romantic attraction, still form platonic bounds + have physical attraction for people)@@Syd448 so people either ignore me because they do not care for someone they are not gonna make long term plans with or strait up assume I'm nymphomaniac. I just want someone to have a zero attachment thing and it is still hell. I don't know anymore.

[@DLJBFan2009]

I'm in a small town, too, and as a 40-something gay guy, it's very difficult to find someone unless you go to the gay part of town and spend your night at the clubs. It doesn't help matters that everyone knows each other and has probably slept with each other at some point. You'd be amazed at how mentioning a first name to someone immediately opens up a whole thing about how that person actually is and why you should stay away. I tried to get back on Hinge last week and got terrified of what would happen, after the year I had.

[@jacksonpurcell8625]

actually the fishing story from shayne was literally adorable, baby me would have died of joy if a boy had done that to me

[@jacksonpurcell8625]

to be fair though i'm 23 and have... never been on a date? unless you count, like, going to see enders game after a classmate's birthday party when i was 13 to do nothing but complain about the inaccuracy of the movie with the boy i would occasionally touch knees with at lunch despite "dating" for 7 months. in our defense it was a Very small alternative middle school and we were relatively sheltered in the way where you had *impeccable* sex ed but didnt *quite* realize people Actually were doing drugs and having sex as teenagers and were a bit scandalized about all the vaping and teen pregnancy when we got to high school lol. so anyway i might not have literally any standards for what is or isnt cringe when it comes to dating

[@owensoto1373]

I think is was super cute and sure a bit corny but no worse than the pigheaded bs most guys did when i was around that age

[@tg11759]

Here after THE hard launch

[@ely_wannadie]

The most rock solid concrete launch

[@Neojhun]

@@ely_wannadie reinforced concrete launch.

[@bluedandelions3320]

Chanse really said "MLM and WLW solidarity" and that's so real actually

[@AllysonWonderlandd]

Watching this podcast episode under a NEW LIGHT now that he is married to Courtney. Ahhhhh!!!!!

[@sinistrdairy2971]

Once I threw "game" out the window and just presented myself as myself with no front. That's when I met my now wife and it's been almost 9 years now and it's the best relationship I've ever had.

[@cheesecakelasagna]

This is honestly soothing my soul, thank you!

[@jennagrace7732]

watching shayne defend dating your best friend is so funny now 😭

[@TYguy___]

I have to say I've never felt more relief than Shayne explaining his experience while straight dating around 13min. It's 100% my current experience and hearing it from someone else made me feel far less alone

[@KBT199]

Putting this out there, if an episode needs to run over 1hr, I’m here for it. Felt like it was really getting good before it stopped

[@shivamshori5612]

Your pfp reminds me of life is strange 1

[@nerdiwolverine]

Chanse had such a Heart Stopper moment with the guy he held hands with in the couch

[@u_adore_me_but_I_adore_twice]

That's EXACTLY what I was thinking :D It reminded me of Harry's party in season one XD

[@ari13142]

I’m a 17 teen year old who got out of a really messy relationship earlier this year (that lasted a year). And ever since then I’ve been basing my worth on my dating life and have been putting that in front of just making genuine connections with friends and I think this honestly really helped to hear people that I look up to say that having a relationship doesn’t equal to success and that you just need to enjoy your life and not base your worth on other people’s opinions

[@waterstarjen]

It’s a very hard lesson to learn at your age. It always feels like everyone is in a relationship and if you’re not, you’re a loser. It’s so wrong!! To be in a relationship, you have to know and love yourself. Dating is great, you learn more about yourself and what you want. Short relationships at your age are good too. You gain experience on how to be a partner and learn your hard “no’s”.

[@AshyBoi1705]

PART 2! PART 2! PART 2! We need another episode where the three of you just vibe and talk about just life- Shane is so knowledgeable and listens to people rather than arguing, Chanse just flows with anyone and can talk about anything and make it interesting and entertaining and Amanda just has so many wacky stories and a lot of life knowledge she brings a different perspective. Hearing perspectives from a married straight women, a single straight man and a single (?) gay man shows how different these things are but also how similar it is at the same time.

[@anii_i240]

Amandas urge to still say what she was wearing even though she knows it was just a joke (and it was a good one) is just so real… still wanting to justify „just in case“ is hard to unlearn

[@alyssatheexcellent]

I have been WAITING for this episode. Chanse has such a good and genuine heart and it’s so big and understanding. I’m excited to hear more.

[@baileescott401]

I've only gotten snake vibes from him.... he's literally said he made fun of his exs' p*nis, more than one of them lmao

[@chansemccrary2766]

💛🐍💛

[@dracomight]

​@@baileescott401yo what? When did he say that?

[@xxchaotic1849]

@@baileescott401 a big judgement of one’s character based on little to no evidence.

[@alyssatheexcellent]

@@chansemccrary2766😍🤩

[@JessClare432]

This trio talking about love and relationships is literally perfection. Getting to hear three very different experiences and perspectives was very informative and fun! Honestly I could listen to Amanda and Chanse talk for hours 😂

[@cosplayannie]

As a queer female presenting person, who's soon 22 years old and has never kissed anyone in my life, nor been romantically with anyone ever, there's so much blame and shame that comes with that (which should NOT be the case, but it is). Especially with societal standards. I know I'm very young but I've given up in the past cause the dating scene anywhere nowadays is just so so weird, so it's comforting to hear from comfort people how awkward their beginnings were. Love yall.

[@claedust]

Hiya! Also a queer female presenting person: I'm graysexual (on the ace spectrum!) and I didn't know if I'd ever kiss anyone or date anyone. Then, when I was 24, I had my first kiss and the person who I kissed was surprised (but not judgmental) that I had never kissed anyone before. Please let the blame and shame slide off you (it doesn't serve you or anyone else, really!), and know that a person that you will want to kiss will be someone who respects you

[@JennaKip]

just know you're not alone, i have a very similar life experience and i continuously preach that everything will happen at the right time, even if i start to lose hope. stay positive and stay true to yourself!

[@finpin2622]

I’m in the same place! I think a lot of folks in our generation are, believe it or not, but it does feel so weird and isolating when you see people with so much more dating experience than you at the same or even a younger age. Hope things work out well for you in the future though :)

[@richardchen7062]

Allosexual here! Dating is NOT mandatory and you do not need a partner to make you feel whole. ❤

[@sharkqueen5111]

Amanda saying "being in a relationship does not make you a successful person" really made me tear up. (1:00:37) im at an age where im seeing people i went to high school with getting married or having kids, and society makes it seem like that is success. I really enjoyed them talking about breaking society rules and just not following them, is okay.

[@42saram42]

Man I feel what Chanse is saying about the clock starting later. He's so right about having to come out to yourself first. Also that look he gives Amanda after the Slytherin comment is hilarious.

[@theheavybreather8044]

I'm really gonna use shayne's fish joke with my friends and wife just to see them cringe and shake their heads. 😂😂

[@succerella]

I really like Shayne’s comment about how men are always taught how to get the girl but never how to KEEP the girl

[@HouseMDaddict]

It's so accurate! I had a lot of guy friends growing up and they'd be so focused on impressing the girls and the first dates and such and then literally be like "is it cool that I just want to sit and watch movies with her her and just be around her?". Like they were worried it's be a "lame" second or third date because they just liked her company and didn't want to feel pressured to impress her because it felt cheap. As a lady, the amount of guys I've met in first dates where all I wanted was a real conversation and either it was a trauma dump from them or some odd soulless "act" of trying to impress me and talk themselves up, it was honestly a nightmare. I'm sure some girls like "the game" and "the chase" but the majority of women I know just want a stable and kind dude that can hold a genuine conversation. Like all of my guy friends got AMAZING girlfriends (now wives) because they were so sweet and genuine and had no interest in playing "the game".

[@succerella]

@@HouseMDaddict Agreed! Life is too short & dates are too expensive to be playing games 😂 All anyone ever wants is a genuine connection!

[@hell0daisy193]

amanda’s tuba boy story reminds me of the time that i had a crush on a kid in my 4th grade class and turns out another girl did too. one day our teacher found out about her crush on him and made them both stand up and shamed them in front of the whole class. it was really messed up idk why adults have such a problem with kids having attraction

[@friendlyneigborhoodbean]

Fr. Like unless they're doing something they shouldn't at their age I see no reason not to just let kids "date". They'll probably learn better relationship skills from it anyways

[@leality_is_here]

This episode went by so fast...as someone who has very little dating experience and a lot of anxiety around it this episode was so comforting you have no idea

[@hummusdetomate7768]

shayne saying he is not as attractive is the funniest thing he’s ever said… he is literally beautiful (and not just physically)

[@jessicacooper167]

I love Chanse on these podcasts

[@dreamb0at]

I love Chanse

[@soconfused3616]

@@dreamb0atme too ngl smosh killed it with the new cast members i love Amanda chanse and Angela

[@claudiah.2935]

@@soconfused3616Factsssss. Smosh plz more of these ppl thx

[@jellybeanbear1725]

Amanda mentioning her "one that got away" being someone who passed hit home, I also had someone like that in my life so even though they didn't talk much about it I can empathize ❤

[@emmahackler7462]

I loved hearing everyone’s perspectives on dating and how it’s not necessary to achieve a happy life. Especially Chance saying that the queer clock gets set back way later. As a queer person, I always feel like I’m behind or not doing everything I could be. Thanks for a great ep ❤️

[@E3N_Bierski]

Shayne and Amanda- were are going to change names to keep everything private Chanse- what’s their social security number and their mothers maiden name? 🧐

[@valadusk6060]

I loved listening to this. My entire family has been super against me not wanting a relationship or children. It feels great hearing someone say that it's okay and accepted.

[@AmbamGriffis]

Same! That one comment from Shane gave me a lot of asexual aro validation ❤

[@richardchen7062]

Your family is super judgmental. :( Please keep being you!

[@phoenix_axel]

As a queer person in their teens, Im really liking the newer ideas of finding love in yourself instead of someone else, and the pressure lessening on "traditional relationships" like getting married, having kids or living together. I really liked the multiple perspectives in this episode, it was refreshing to see some of the things I've been thinking be voiced especially by people who have "more experience":)

[@ninin11]

i’m loving this episode and wanted to pop in here to say since when shayne was talking about his experience as a child actor, he said “but that’s a whole other episode.” well, id love that episode, id love to hear more about that

[@DomoftheDoctor]

I feel a bit weepy listening to Chanse talking about seeing dating as him trying to find his best friend. I’m a straight man, so a different field of experience from Chanse, but hearing someone else put it in words made me realise that it’s the thing I want most in the world. I notice when I’m attracted to women, but it’s hard to act unless I feel like there’s some spark of a real connection, a hint of a shared instinct drawing me to that person. Even then, it would still take a lot for me to pull an H and slip my number to a girl with a beautiful voice! It doesn’t help that I grew up with a Shayne mindset of not wanting to get into trouble (albeit for different reasons), and I think now that I’m still carrying this instinct to my detriment. Seeing the three of you talk about this stuff, and seeing people’s responses below, has really opened my eyes to myself in a lot of ways. Really you guys, this was such a special episode: please continue this conversation in the near future.

[@ericataylor7618]

52:00 both Amanda's and Chance's "one that got away" stories feel like they could be Hallmark movies

[@emilyburk8884]

As a trans person I really appreciate Chanse bringing up challenging your own cis perspectives on relationships. Trans people have unique perspectives on relationships and love, because we exist outside of the standard binary we are forced to look at relationships differently. Look at beauty standards differently. Thanks Chanse for including us in this conversation ❤️

[@gnarshylive3046]

Yes!!! I’m trans too and it felt soo nice to get recognized for how our work on self identity reallyyyy benefits our romantic and platonic relationships

[@ambergabriele621]

42:30 having friends that are the opposite of you is so important and impactful. Someone who doesn’t think like you can put things in a different perspective and you for them. Sometimes we “go blind” to the things right in front of us and we need that person who can see to describe what’s really there.

[@maskedmildew5437]

This is super interesting. The dialogue on dating with a gay man, a straight man, and a straight woman.

[@WhomstIsShe]

I doubt anyone will ever see this but I want to sincerely thank all three of you for delving into the very different dating dynamics of straight women, gay men, and straight men. These perspectives are incredibly valuable, love to see it. Now ya'll need to bring Courtney in (and possibly also a lesbian, trans person, and asexual person. That episode would quite literally murder the internet). ALSO, a huge note of appreciation for Shayne bringing up and validating people who have zero interest in romantic relationships. As a queer and recently discovered aromantic girly, this topic so rarely gets addressed, so seeing it from some of my favorite youtube clown-adjacents (ENTIRELY COMPLIMENTARY), has made my entire week. Truly a top-tier episode 😍

[@nickboopy]

I like how this episode was more just like a genuine conversation than meeting different conversation beats. I remember they said their goal at the start was to make it feel just like their normal conversations off cam, and I think they're finally there!

[@gottagoquack]

Im very grateful that at eighteen years of age i haven't had anything even close to a romantic relationship yet, because i feel like i've had the proper time to find myself first and to think about what i really want out of a relationship, so whenever it happens there's still going to be a lot to learn, but i'll at least be a bit more prepared thanks to videos like this so :) thanks u guys

[@gracegrrl007]

You're doing great!! That is absolutely the right way to approach things; I used to get made fun of when I was your age for just not being interested in dating, but it gave me so much time to really work on myself and get to know myself, and by the time I was ready to try dating I was really READY to try dating. Glad you feel comfortable in yourself! Keep it up!

[@lizibeff]

dude I wish I didn't start dating until I was at least 21. Seriously. I think it's so important to prioritise yourself and not live on other people's timescales.

[@cheesecakelasagna]

Same. Reminds me of the time my friends agreed that, between us all, I'd probably be the one who would find their "the one" at first try, since, to them, I look secured in myself and don't jump into relationship just coz. 😅

[@spencersmith6071]

Yk its really nice to listen to Chanse, Shayne and Amanda to talk about relationships. Im personally Asexual and have been questioning if Im also Aromatic so this is an interesting perspective to hear and making me reflect on myself. I love these SmoshCasts so please keep up the amazing work yall

[@scottygordon3280]

When Shayne towards the end was talking about figuring out what he liked, I was practically praying for him to say it took him till he was 25 or 26…I’m a straight guy literally about to turn 26, and that really resonated with me and honestly gave me a lot of validation and confidence. Y’all are the best advice column around ❤

[@cryforhelp7270]

I hope I find out what I like soon. It's tough to navigate. I'm a queer woman, I still don't know what the queer part exactly entails- but I do like women. And men, I think. It's just... Real confusing. Ugh.

[@pxige.124]

well we all already know that everyone is dating everyone all the time

[@melodys9188]

and vampires!

[@rhettmitchell]

Bahahhaha yes

[@deathofamarigold]

Seriously Shayne, thank you for bringing up people who don’t want relationships in their life. I’m 25 and it feels like I’m barely starting to escape the mindset that society has placed on me. Right now I don’t know if I want a relationship! And that might change in a day, month, year, or never and I’m coming to terms that that’s okay! Loved this entire conversation!! Really hope y’all do another part to this!

[@bugginonthewall]

week 1 of commenting ham cake until we get a ham cake sequel

[@scandalousbeans2591]

Hamcake

[@torih.2492]

Ham cake

[@Here_for_Shera]

Ham cake

[@sinister_kiid]

gâteau au jambon

[@crapholeyeahthatsme]

Ham cake

[@kwiz3502]

This episode came out at a really convenient time for me. I’m 26 and the person who I had ambitions to marry and start a family with ended things last week and it’s been so painful. Hearing you 3 talk about relationships from 3 such different perspectives honestly was very eye opening. That being said, I’d love a part 2 of this conversation so much. Love u Smoshcast ❤

[@baileescott401]

The best advice to find a meaningful relationship is to stop trying to have a relationship. Find people with similar interests and just make friends. The best relationships are built on the understanding of a friendship. Getting to know people through dates is a huge waste of time.

[@ebunnyzappa]

True, but making friends with the intent to date them can be kinda messy

[@cheesecakelasagna]

And that's exactly the root of my problem. For the longest time, I relied on more extroverted people to befriend me and maintain the relationship mainly, so I never learned how to actually do it on my own from scratch. 😅

[@eightlittlemaniacs]

I love Chance's perspective on things. I would want to have a full conversation with him, I really appreciate his way of thinking and his opinions on things.

[@vlahakisnick]

I'm Bi and lean heavily toward women, but Chanse is everything I want in a man. His confidence and personality is intoxicating

[@DanDanDoe]

In high school I thought I might be bi, but since then just decided I'm probably a straight cis man, as I've never been as attracted to a man as I've been to a woman. I also don't have any experience with men. So yeah, for all intents and purposes, I consider myself straight. Chanse has honestly been causing me to doubt my sexuality for a while now, and this video really put it into a higher gear. Intoxicating indeed.

[@cheesecakelasagna]

@@DanDanDoe I so relate to your thought process, as a cis woman. It took me embracing, hey, maybe I just could like anyone if given the chance, especially when the things I obsess over in a man can also be in a woman. But then the thing is I never approach anyone (remnants of the "girls don't approach, girls waits to get approached" mentality) so I haven't really gotten the ball rolling on my own on anyone.

[@vikki-333]

here y’all go 1:03:03

[@thewierddood]

Shayne is truly a one of a kind human being. What a solid dude

[@KJ-od5od]

I had an elementary school "boyfriend." A girl walked up to me and said he liked me and I was like "cool" and then after she reported back to him he walked up with a gaggle of his friends and was like "will you be my girlfriend?" And I was like "sure." We maaaaaybe held hands once, didn't talk for a week and then he came up to me on the playground with a gaggle of friends again and was like "hey, this isn't working out, I'm breaking up with you." And I was like "okay, bye" and then went back to playing a game with my friends. I had honestly forgotten we had been dating by the time we broke up, so that definitely softened the blow 🤣

[@gusberg2147]

This is probably the fifth time I’ve watched this episode, but I want to say that I appreciate Amanda’s openness so much. She’s so relaxed about embracing what she liked, even if it’s embarrassing in hindsight, and I think that’s a really powerful thing.

[@blessica90]

I freaking love Chanse. He just seems so genuine and kind in every video he is in. This was an awesome podcast!

[@LetheAletheia]

"The one that got away" conversation really hit me. I was in a relationship years ago, and my boyfriend passed away. If we had stayed together, our plans were to move to a totally different country, and I would've been in a completely different career. It's weird to think of it this way, but I'm so grateful for and happy with the life I've created for myself now, that I can't say I would change anything in the past. Thank you so much, Amanda, for opening up about this. It reminded me of how everything has its place and time in this universe, and perspective is truly transformative.

[@aleandra3945]

growing up as a lesbian was hard people loved to say every guy friend you had was your "boyfriend"

[@firefly10241]

Which is society standards. Its also the same people saying LGBTQ is thrown in people's faces which straight culture has been around forever. They say this to younger kids to. I really wish people would just relize oppsites sexes can be friends without anything happening if they are straight or not.

[@OceanIgs]

Same with me as a guy, every girl friend I've had are just my friends not my girlfriends.

[@cassandracarlton400]

SAME. and then the society and compulsive heterosexuality extra complicated it because people saying that stuff made me confuse genuine friendship with guys as being a crush, because that’s what straight people push it as, and really ruined some good friendships for me back in high school :(

[@Sinsanities]

As a guy friend of lesbians, People often assume i'm either their boyfriend, or gay. Which jokes on them, I consulted about my crushes to my friends.

[@firefly10241]

@@Sinsanities Thats how it works.. your just friends so you talk about your life. HS was weird since people assumed things. I was friends with a group of people that had different sexualities but we were the outcast but part of the smart crowd in high school. People used to call me all kinds of names because I was friends with people that were out like it was cooties. There is adults that do it now which is just childish. Yeah friends discussed all kinds of things regarding crushes expeically if where we fit. - My parents always thought having a guy friend means I liked them like that... nope. I liked guys but every guy was not a potential boyfriend.

[@camilla1234567zz]

Chanse and shayne I hope you both find someone who cherishes you and you cherish them right back ❤ (I'm cringe I know)

[@clarkcampbell6890]

why would you think that wanting someone to be happy makes you cringe? it just makes you a good and kind person

[@cheesecakelasagna]

@@clarkcampbell6890 I agree. Cringe is telling a story of you catching a big fish just so you can put your arm around your partner. 😅

[@SmokeyTheBandit]

hmmm... seems like it worked out for one of them. haha

[@truebornseeker9767]

It’s absolutely fascinating to me that Shayne had a very queer timeline in dating, even as a cishet man, because he was trying to date people society told him to date (mixed with a shit tonne of anxiety, both in general and specifically around relationships) It’s clearly not for the exact same reasons, but it’s fascinating that his timeline of relationships and crushes was pushed back similarly to the queer timeline of dating and relationships lol (I’m saying this as a queer person btw! I’m not saying he’s queer or anything lol)

[@thealmachannel6948]

bro heterosexually experienced comphet

[@arininquotes8396]

Heteronormativity is a truly a villain to all

[@IceArceus_]

Love Chanse! He's such a pleasure to have on here 🙂 He grew to be one of my fav cast members! ❤

[@sabrinabacigalupo4656]

Chanse on smosh mouth is amazing🙌

[@_rat_5758]

5:06 CHANSE I HOWLED HOLY CRAP DUDE ALSO CHANSE THE HAND HOLDING IN THE COUCH CUSHION AS A NOT FULLY OUT GAY TEEN MY HEART- I NEED THAT

[@mercyfulnate]

I had a very delayed start to my dating life, so hearing everyone talk about their own perspectives and experiences is really good for me and I’m sure others. There’s no one way to go about it, even when there’s a huge societal pressure on everyone. It’s good to hear from other experiences and hopefully learn from them.

[@faiza7533]

I need whoever I end up with to have Shayne’s self-awareness and maturity because hot damn

[@rebeccalevy8491]

This is quickly becoming one of my favourite podcasts. The conversations feel very genuine, wholesome, vulnerable, insightful and so much more!

[@ambergabriele621]

54:38 I love how open and vulnerable they are being, especially Shayne. He’s completely right about being judged based on who you like and who/what you “should like”. Just makes him that much more attractive that he can talk about this stuff. If only I lived out there 😂😅

[@wheretheresawill798]

I'm just really grateful y'alll have been doing these podcasts episodes and talking about and sharing these really human, complicated experiences. Helps to know I'm not the only person navigating the messy and mystifying labyrinth of life and relationships and this kind of topic has definitely been a central one to my own journey and healing. Thanks guys! Love from Seattle!

[@AquawolfXC]

Shayne, It has been such a pleasure to see you grow over the past few years. Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest about your struggles with toxic masculinity. Whether it be relating to your own body image or dating. As the incel pipeline grabs more boys and young men, taking advantage of their confusion about what defines masculinity, we need people like yourself. This may sound so cheesy, but you are making a difference and I hope you realize that. :-)

[@electricbblue5974]

This was the most relatable, insightful, and interesting conversation I've seen y'all have and I didn't want it to end. Please do a part 2.

[@deathbloom27]

This was so fucking good. Absolutely the best episode I've seen. I need a part 2, and 3 and 4 and so on until everyone in Smosh (who's open to it) has shared.

[@sldvet4519]

This episode is everything. I loved all 3 perspectives, especially as a 25 yr old queer who constantly struggles between what society expects and what I want out of relationships/dating. This was like a free hour of therapy. I really needed this right now so thank you

[@rivercityminis]

I discovered Smosh a week ago and now im hooked. Everyone just seems so genuine and thats hard to find nowdays.

[@cherbear08xo]

My child is elementary school age and has a new boyfriend every few months. It’s very innocent of course. I teach her about safety and tell her it’s not embarrassing or wrong to like someone. It’s so wholesome to hear y’all talk about childhood crushes lol. Loved this episode for all the other things too.

[@naysha323]

yall should do an episode of childhood dreams or just goals and aspirations one sets for themself. it might be interesting and i realized i've rarely heard people talk about them in a context that wasnt about hustling or achieving them etc. hearing shayne talk about realizing not wanting something anymore in a healthy way was so refreshing

[@disgust4941]

Yeah, dated my childhood best friend, she’s literally one of the kindest people I’ve ever known but eventually we realized (after like 4 years) that we were basically just best friends who kissed sometimes.