Soccer Mom Takes Tomboy To The Gap To "Fix" Their Gender

[@sadetucker2094]

I feel like parents are so busy trying to "fix" their children that they don't realize the damage being done. They don't stop to think about how happy their children were before they decided to come and take the driver's seat. No matter how much you interfere, guess what? You can't make your child straight. You can try all day and night. Hell, your child will even suppress their happiness so you can be happy. That is until they've had enough.

[@FlorenceFox]

If I ever have kids and someone tries forcing them to dress a certain way, like that or 'fix' them like that, I'd be going to jail for assault.

[@hansolodoesntdie8527]

Hahaha don't blame you

[@norbonius]

+Florence MacKenna Totally. I'm not generally violent, but if somebody was forcing something like that on my kid to that extent.... Soccer mom's getting cut. Sorry, not sorry.

[@taylorsanders8742]

Florence MacKenna me too

[@yvonnemiddleton9985]

Florence MacKenna same 😆

[@spheyuh]

Florence MacKenna lol same

[@paullytle246]

is it just me or are pixie cuts the best way of using fine features like high cheekbones

[@yvonnemiddleton9985]

Paul Lytle ikr

[@aussieskates]

Agreed.

[@thegreenmanofnorwich]

I think that's why it looked so breathtaking for Mia Farrow

[@HollyOak]

If someone took my child somewhere to 'fix' them without my consent, there would be no place on earth safe for them. How dare anyone think they have a right to tell another person how to be - and another person's child? Even worse! Renee, you're awesome and you have excellent advice.

[@xCr00k3Dx]

5:30 "If it makes you feel beautiful, then feel beautiful." I like this ^___^

[@PunkyOPossum]

UGH! Being a child and being forced to wear dresses to parties and BEGGING to wear a suit instead!

[@Eli-vw1hf]

A Tomboy and transgender boy are two different things.

[@l.christoffersen7502]

One of them didn’t get forced by society to change their gender.

[@ShroomoftheLoom]

Ala Nine Society doesn’t force you to CHANGE gender, if anything it tries to force you to KEEP your birth gender

[@Urmom-dm2kf]

Ala Nine society doesn’t force people to transition.

[@fushibun]

I got labeled a tomboy when i was actually transgender 🤔

[@LisaNarozhnykh]

@@fushibun Same here. A lot of people think trans rights acitivists go around labeling every child that is somehow atypical as trans, or at least I've seen people accusing us of that, but it is in fact the other way around. Being trans is the last thing anyone (including many trans people themselves) assumes about an "odd" person. People are much more likely to try make you keep your birth gender, and while a good byprouct of this is that gender non-conformity is normalized for those who really are "just" non-conforming and not an entirely different gender, it currently comes at the cost of people who really are a different gender.

[@iamnoone5745]

I never liked shopping with my mom or sister. I would drift to the mens section and they'd be like "no no no, this is the womens section" and i'd be holding up a button up or somethin and be like "👌✌yep, enjoy it" lol

[@NoNameMotherFucker-s3r]

I Am No One tbh I think they're shouldn't be male or female sections. They should all just be together

[@marcuspainter4885]

I Am No One I still can’t wear pants unless it’s pjs because when I turned 11 my mother said I wasn’t acting like a “girl”. So she figured removing pants would change this. Is it bad that I’ve felt physically uncomfortable in dresses/skirts for 9 years running?

[@NoNameMotherFucker-s3r]

@@marcuspainter4885 that's just dumb why would someone want a giant opening at the bottom of their clothes and the wind to make it fly up in their face. Pants aren't s boy thing. Pants are just pants

[@marcuspainter4885]

Lil Skrilly it’s a religious thing. Something about the bible saying women can’t wear men’s clothes. And since pants wear designed for men women can’t wear it according to my parents. They thought it was rubbing off on me.

[@NoNameMotherFucker-s3r]

@@marcuspainter4885 that sucks. What about men that wear kits?

[@luciddreaming4478]

I tried to come out to my dad about being sex positive and being romantically open(I can fall for whoever regardless of gender)and he would shut it down immediately and reject it. I started disconnected from him and drifted away from him when I was 14-15 and he thought I was the asshole and it my mom's fault and I tried to salvage our relationship but he was having none of those parts of my identity. I later found out around 16 when I was hiding my birth control in my mattress at his house that he was planning to ship me off to a Christian summer camp without me knowing cuz he knew I'm bad confrontation and that he was gonna make me go to church more and stuff so he could "fix" me. My blood boiled and at that point I made up my mind that I was gonna move out before I graduated and I'm happy to stay I'm living life to the fullest with my mom full time and I couldn't be happier.

[@jakecoffman2032]

thanks :) really THANKS YOU I'm 14 years old tomboy and was starting to give up on myself and you encouraged me to not change who i am for others

[@mikaylaowens6886]

I love this story and this is very motivational.... I was guessing that my tomboy self was wrong but now after and what you said at 5:30 really makes me feel confident and strong about my tomboy self.

[@2degucitas]

Rock it. For life.

[@petersmythe6484]

I'm sure she (the ""fix" gender" woman) was not trying to be malicious at all, she was just ignorant and intolerant from being incorrect and unaccepting.

[@SpreaddEm]

+Peter Smythe or she ran around calling herself a tomboy which isn't a description for a trans or lesbian. It means girl who dresses slightly like a boy and like to do some boy things. but a guy cannot be a tom boy. So no transgender would ever use a word to describe a girl who dresses like a boy. the term predates tumblr plenty of heterosexual females were tomboys when they were younger.

[@rowanangstadt7708]

I love this story! I'm also interested to see that fedora outfit (for inspiration)

[@stevenduvall2549]

What's interesting is that The Gap isn't a great place to find very feminine clothes. Most of their styles are pretty androgynous and based on menswear.

[@littlekitsune1]

I was gonna say, the Gap is like the worst place to take them LOL.

[@21centuryg]

Renee, you're so beautiful

[@paullytle246]

21centuryg yaaaaasssss

[@adamthomas4924]

Renee looks really beautiful in this.

[@okimlistening2u]

Thanks, Renee, for the wisdom expressed here. Kudos to you!

[@michaelasuorsa]

This person is really attractive

[@bjyokums]

That "formal gown" part made me shudder ....

[@edenroseart]

My friend is going through something right now, their (I’m saying their, they’re gender fluid but I don’t know how they’re feeling right now as I’m typing) mother always insists on taking them to the girls section and insists on giving them very girly stuff, they’ve said to me that sometimes it can bring them almost to tears, they’ve also said that every time that this happens, it makes them feel more like a he, and I understand that it can be very tough for them in those situations and it’s especially hard right now because it’s the summer holiday and I can’t be there for them the next day unless we go through the plans to meet up, and sometimes just texting isn’t good enough.

[@personpersona6175]

I'm don't believe in gender, and no matter how many times I try to tell people that, no one listens to me. I've given up trying to be me, which is an awful thing to do. I'm just the "super lesbian" that I was in the seventh grade again.

[@littlekitsune1]

Gender is very different than stereotypical gender roles. The latter is what I take issue with sometimes. I think gender has its place, just not in how we tell to live or what to like.

[@Akuago66]

This is amazing, I'm currently a 18 1/2 tomboy, and I wish that my family would accept me for who I am and not force me to be girly nor anyone that I'm not. So far, only my friends are the one that supports me for being my tomboy/nerdy/gamer self. If only my mom would be controlling me nor treating me like a puppet ;(

[@Akuago66]

**wouldnt

[@Sam-bm6yf]

Akuago66 I hope it gets better. I am a tomboy two

[@moestein6972]

Love the phrase " Be your whole self."

[@MegF142857]

I have always been a Tom Boy girl. Always makes me laugh when I go shopping for glasses frames and the store separates the "men's" and "women's" frames. I'm thinking "Huh?". It's glasses frames! They get uncomfortable when I try on some of the men's frames. LOL! -- I've started wearing my husband's boxer shorts. Gee... why didn't I do this a long time ago. Comfie. Clothes do not make a gender, IMO.

[@Alinor24]

At my glasses store they don't seperate by gender. They have different areas for kids glasses and for sunglasses, but that's it and that makes sense.

[@intermediateinsanity2961]

Is this about gender expression, or gender? "Tomboy" refers to a "masculine" female, but you're talking about stuff in the LGBT+ community, so I think they're just not sure, is that right?

[@MapleArt23]

Intermediate Insanity Gender Expression.

[@kellharris2491]

Maybe a little of both? A lot of lesbians are butch. They feel more comfortable with masculine attire and express themselves in a masculine way like a tomboy (not saying all tomboys are lesbian)but still consider themselves girls. Some are full transgender and identify as men. And some are inbetween. Very androgynous. Basically they just don't fit gender norms.

[@jogejogestar3945]

i am pretty sure this person is non binary. i think it is in the description

[@cukka99]

@@jogejogestar3945 Yes I think so too. Yet, I would be totally happy if cishet people with non-conventional gender expression were also included in this series. I am a cishet man, but on occasion like to wear pinks and purples, form hugging bermuda shorts, crop tops that show my midriff, flowery hats, and so on. And on occasion I do get angry head shakes, mutters, and sneers from random people on the street. Nothing that has been serious enough to worry about, but just enough to allow be (I imagine) to have a better appreciation for how daily life is for a lot of people who are in various marginalized groups.

[@stephanlaufs8651]

you are so cute, as human. your gender doesn`t care.

[@roryslaine7896]

I only found this channel like a week ago but I can't stop watching. I'm 30 and I have 9 children and I hope they'd be able to talk to me if they were going through something like this. I have 5 sons and 4 daughters and I'd rather be able to talk things out with them even if I don't necessarily agree, than make them feel like dirt or have to bury them. Mate as long as my children are happy, they aren't harming other people and they're living up to their potential I couldn't ask for anything else. Gay or lesbian doesn't really bother me as long as they're good people.

[@ePai9e]

My dad tried to do the same thing.

[@2degucitas]

45 years ago my teen self only had three labels to choose from: girl, tomboy, lesbian. None of these really seemed to fit, tomboy came close. I think I was a genderqueer kid.

[@theclawless1225]

Soccer moms who don’t know how to stay in their lane can be so unintentionally rude and mean. Like I know that’s highly specific for a generalization but I don’t think I’ve ever had any good experiences with a soccer mom. Except for like....free orange slices.

[@alphajackal6648]

"I think she wanted to do right by me" -This is not proof of someone's goodness. Evil can take the form of someone imposing what they think is 'right' on others. In their mind they're helping you, but the evil part of it is how they're just helping themselves reinforce their worldview at your expense. There is no altruism there, it's selfishness disguised as care. Anyone who tries to fix someone else starts at the idea that the other person is less.

[@Rhianalanthula]

I took my children clothes shopping in mid Feb. Mainly to see if we could find some formal ish trousers for my eldest daughter (14) to wear at her grandfather's funeral. (The younger ones didn't want to go). We couldn't find any, but I knew we had some school uniform trousers at home as a back up. While out she found a bow tie and braces in boys accessories, which I bought. For the funeral she wore black trousers, white fitted blouse, black braces and black bowtie. She stopped wearing skirts and dresses just over two years ago. She also hates girls shorts as these days they are shory hot pant style. I have no problem with people wanting to wear hot pants, but I just wish clothing companies would provide a choice.

[@acek8834]

For the record, you don't need to change your pronouns to wear clothes of the other gender. It didn't pick up much about this person not feeling like a girl, just that they don't want to wear girl's clothes. The change of gender sounding more like it's for society to understand that "no, I'm not gonna wear a skirt." Basically thinking with the same moral of the story, if changing your pronouns makes you feel better and more like yourself then do it. But don't do it for other people or for the statement that you don't want to be boyish or girlish.

[@littlekitsune1]

THANK you. It kind of bothers me that people think not liking something in a particular gender role means they must not be that gender. No, gender roles can exist for a reason but nothing about them should be so rigid that not liking girl's clothing makes you change your pronouns and name etc. I got called a tomboy a lot as a kid for liking stereotypically "boy" things and not enjoying girl's clothes, but I never didn't feel like a girl so I hated that people apparently saw me as a boy. But maybe because my mom never made a big deal out of my interests or clothing selection, I dunno. Maybe that made me more comfortable with my gender overall, so to speak. It's really sad if others can't feel that way.

[@jogejogestar3945]

i get called a girl a lot just because i have long hair.

[@cukka99]

Yes, good point. When you live among respectful people, there is a great range of choices you can make and be happy. Back when I was staffing a table at a college to recruit volunteers for a charity, I remember a young man visiting us. He was wearing a long dress, told us his name was Jennifer, and also had a full hipster beard (and yes, he did tell us that his pronouns were he/him and that he was cisgender).

[@marybethhanifin3683]

Well said ! Dress to make yourself feel beautiful

[@theodoreharvey4814]

Thank you this really resonated with me. I'm glad I'm not the only one who isn't interested in being fixed. My mom did this alot. I figured I was broken, thanks for making me feel less alone!

[@scottrindal7859]

such a good series of videos. This was no exception.

[@jayre5689]

Great video! You're awesome, Renee! :)

[@bereal2900]

Please do not be mad at me or people like me for not calling you they/them. We are learning as well. If it has taking you so many years to accept yourself expect the same for us.

[@selenaseibt789]

Amazing young person!

[@feralbluee]

being a Tomboy doesn't mean you're gay. i was proud of being a tomboy as a kid. i loved doing i guess what you call boy things - climbing trees, crashing cars, and doing stuff that took strength. i loved playing Lone Ranger and Tonto (i loved Jay Silverheels - and still do). we weren't allowed even plastic guns, so we used our thumb and forefinger LOL. i also loved dresing up and playing with dolls. i still don''t care for what i call fru-fru girls - just too much. all my friends weren't fru-fru girls either. they had their own friends. i always loved guys! had crushes on a lot of my Dad's Broadway friends. so whatever you are, don't let anyone tell you how to be!!!! none of their darn business! and i'm glad her mom let her be. .. :) 🌷👩🏾‍🎤🧑🏻‍🎤

[@MSW96]

Wow, Herndon? Never thought I'd hear it on here.

[@galaxypandagamergirl7840]

When I grow up, I would love to have girl twins- one that's really tomboy and the other that's sweet girly

[@kyla9186]

Si JIa Zhang I’m a twin and I’m a tomboy and my sister is also a tomboy

[@pattiecakesTB]

That fits me n my twin to a T. She is very girly and I'm way more a tomboy.

[@mannys7304]

I want to know how the pageant went down.

[@erikaamicucci6011]

Aw, I'm glad things seem to be better now for them! :)

[@mcatu3]

5:30 AMEN TO THAT

[@sivanrottelman7224]

1:42 sounds like a Karen to me

[@bones9532]

omg I friggen love fidoras. there my favorite hats. I also love ties. At my 5th grade promotion I wore a button up shirt, pants, and a tie. all my friends wore dresses and I was the biggest tomboy.

[@zoe9190]

All im honestly hearing is that this mom kidnapped her and bullied her to be someone else

[@calmfulspider]

herdon virginia is so close to here and my mom doesnt like how i dress like a tomboy

[@Rubyjudesilva0505]

I just want to be comfortable with everything I wear so that I can move easily.. But my mom never understand me. No one around me understand.. I just like boy cloth and stuff but I never want to change my gender tho.

[@AlexAzariya]

I'm straight and I could never like super girly girls. Wish there was more striaght tomboy's but everyone I've met ends up being LGBTQ

[@-marsey-240]

So for a few months I have felt that I don't nessasarilly fit in with she/her pronouns. Like, I FEEL feminine, but having she/her pronouns is something I don't like...and after I finished watching this video, I decided to do my own research! And I figured out, that I am Agender...I don't know HOW i'm going to tell my Dad, because he already forced me out of the closet in JUNE, so I HAD to come out as Bi, but he didn't believe me! He said "your too young to know, it's probably just a phase." and I COULD NOT BELIEVE THAT! But I think first I'm going to tell my gf, then my friends, then my sister, and THEN I'll go from there. :)

[@StrawberryJamming]

Why she lowkey dressed like Harry Potter

[@Lady_Deadpool]

I think it's not just about what you're wearing or NOT wearing (makeup and girly outfits) but also your body type and of all things, how you wear your hair. It's like, "Oh! She's flat chested and wearing a pixie haircut and has no curves. She must be a lesbian!" SMH

[@leonhamburg8672]

First i thought. The kid was 7 years or something.

[@zel.akzu3879]

Thank god the word tomboy still exists

[@justicedreams]

I'm a tomboy to, I meaning prefer boy shows and clothes... The fuck is wrong is with world?

[@reitmann800]

Some guys like tomboys.

[@calmfulspider]

+Pecker Redflower yep

[@reitmann800]

thelizzerd ◉ω◉

[@paullytle246]

Pecker Redflower yep

[@user-rm3qj9mb2b]

+Pecker Redflower Yup

[@vernonhardapple6983]

Yes!!!😉

[@IRGhost0]

renee looks like tegan and sara

[@learleanatrimmer2892]

As Women, We Are Expected To Act A Certain Or Be A Certain Way, The Main Problem Is Our Society, I'm A Women And I Never Liked Wearing Anything "feminine" I've Always Liked Wearing A T Shirt And Blue Jeans And A Pair Of Converses, Some People Just Need To Learn To Mind Their Own Dam Business And Stop Trying To Act Like God, Because Only He Can Judge 👏👏😒😒💪💪👍👍

[@viviannichols3582]

Clothes aren’t a gender

[@puppet_myaw_fnaf6171]

I'm a tomboy 💕 but I'm not gay

[@Noa......]

Ya. Gender expression and sexuality are two separate terms.

[@prettyvicky2224]

i love the way she speaks lol its so hot

[@littlekitsune1]

Why you bein' thirsty. It's creepy, my dude.

[@monica8833]

Yessss

[@peterwright4224]

Good story she said it all be happy , why the f.. do some people cause problems , she had the dimp,est solution forget pronouns just call me by my name

[@louisburke8927]

Glottal frrrry

[@existential_raccoonmusic4119]

Drip check

[@bittersweetlime4756]

My god, this is so stupid that at the start I though I was whatching The Onion!

[@Hoodinski]

The fuck's a 'tomboy'?

[@jadelee4404]

A girl who acts like a boy, to be brief, a 'tomgirl' is a boy who acts like a girl.

[@TheMCGibson]

boy named tom