Sociopaths Can Heal: Insights from a Former Psychotherapist

[@christopherxgordon]

Sociopaths can heal because I am proof. I was 100% a sociopath in my early 20s, but I didn't realize it at the time. However, after my mom passed away when I was 26, something inside me slowly started to change. Over the next 3-4 years, I began healing. I stopped manipulatong people, I began practicing being more honest and transparent with others, I began learning to show more empathy for others, etc. Now, looking back, I can't believe how evil, I guess you could say, that I used to be. Now, 6 years later, I'm a completely different person than I was 10 years ago. And while I do still have some of those sociopathic qualities inside of me, I have learned to keep those things in check by focusing on the kind of person that I want to be rather than the sociopath qualities that I'm not necessarily proud of.

[@Sigmalize]

Hey i qualify for ASPD, Would you say you can be happy again? Feel emotions?

[@Shivvaroad]

I wish every sociopath have realizations like you.

[@pod9363]

Have you actually gotten to apoint where you feel emotions coming up of their own volition?

[@jadeusreign3324]

Congrats

[@kognitivescientist]

Clearly shows that “psychopathic” things were externally induced behaviours, not an inner organic nature who you are.

[@theokirkley]

When I want my faith in humanity restored... I watch a Daniel Mackler video

[@1life744]

Same

[@mariahconklin4150]

I know and it makes me feel sooo much better. I to have to remember what a horrible person I used to be and that’s truly painful to see.

[@Maaraujo7]

Yea he helps me understand why nothing in mental health is working to help humanity as a whole

[@Maaraujo7]

@@mariahconklin4150 I believe we can always work on ourselves to be better for ourselves and others. The fact that u changed ur life is such a big triumph and that’s all people need to do: want to change and not repeat the same treatment that was given to them. In other words, break the cycle of violence rather than fall in it. Hey u did it ! U changed urself and I wish I complained and judged others less.

[@schachow]

Hey man, where you from?

[@jazgarcia2014]

Oh my god thank you so much. I am a sociopath but I'm on heavy treatment and therapy and I really needed this. I get a lot of things related to psychopaths and sociopaths on my recommended on KZbin and it's always"how to spot a psychopath", "10 signs you're being targeted by a psychopath" or "why psychopaths are so dangerous". It's so disheartening. This gives me so much hope.

[@jnewmark41]

If you feel "hope" and also feel "disheartened," I would reconsider the primary Dx of sociopathy. You may have SOME traits but that does not a sociopath make....

[@mariahconklin4150]

I know right? I am diagnosed with BPD my boyfriend says he WAS diagnosed as a sociopath. Getting on support groups who say stay away, look for the red flags, etc only leave me depressed, confused, suicidal. It’s awful. Luckily my boyfriend has told me his painful story and so instead of running away from him I’m hoping that I can understand and give him more empathy little by little. He was very much neglected a lot. I see it in old pictures of him and his family but then I see love to so it’s confusing. I’m trying to see where God leads me so that I can help him. My brother says not to listen to my own thoughts even the negative and positive ones can be wrong and devilish. Plus what society says…any negativity makes it so much worse. It really keeps those with mental illness put off by others like we are cast away on an island it’s awful.

[@wordivore]

@@mariahconklin4150 I wanted to comment to you about the confusion you mention. I was emotionally neglected and left to play alone quite a bit. My family had very loose boundaries and didn't teach us siblings to respect each other. I was psychologically abused as well, manipulated with guilt and shame was the primary technique to get me to do things they needed and wanted if and when I tried to say no. If you look at pictures of me with my family, you'd never know any of this. We all look so happy and loving in our photos. And yes I was also shown (appropriate) affection, my parents did things for me that showed love. They praised me when I did good, especially my father. We had fun holidays. Because all that good stuff is in there with all the bad stuff, it does create a lot of confusion. I just wanted to say that it can be a mixed bag and the back and forth from abuse to loving actions, creates a trauma bond.

[@swedishgirl2506]

One thing that might help is being vulnerable with someone who doesn't judge you. It's risky, but when it works, it's incredibly healing.

[@ad-spiritus]

A great story of hope that relates to these issues is Avatar: The Last Airbender. It’s fiction, and animated, but it’s deep and beautiful and deals a lot with this kind of concept in a way that shows how there can be hope and change for people who are abused and taught anger & hatred but learn to love themselves & others again. Every single person i’ve seen react to that series has cried, in a good way. It’s a beautiful story.

[@christopherwing8588]

In a sea of ‘steer clear of sociopaths’ videos, this is the only one I’ve seen that offers hope

[@jasonmarcellus9993]

so true and thankful to have found these videos

[@wordivore]

@Mia L Why do you call them sheep?

[@elhln684]

@Mia L you shouldnt think "can psychopaths change?" start to think "HOW can psychopaths change?" maybe we dont know yet but we should never lose, or take others hope. I hope you understand me

[@teresaborrajo7600]

I think so too. It gives hope. The worst of all is the sense of no hope

[@sonseraedesigns]

Pride prevents people from healing. But...if you come to the end of yourself and face your childhood trauma and grieve, then you can heal.

[@mariahconklin4150]

Exactly

[@wonderingheights]

Yup!

[@colsoncustoms8994]

“Come to the end of yourself” elegant and fitting

[@tbd5082]

The only reason I’m not a narcissist is because of Linda who showed me at 6 or 7 years old that I mattered. Thank you Linda Y.

[@richlisola1]

I, I, I. It’s always I and me with you people

[@mariahconklin4150]

Can you explain how she showed you love? I’d like to bring that into my relationships. Thank you!!!

[@tbd5082]

@@mariahconklin4150 She was present with me. When I spoke, she wasn't somewhere else in her mind. She made me feel like I mattered.💙

[@josanthepresident6565]

@@richlisola1 tf you mean

[@josanthepresident6565]

@@tbd5082 because you do matter

[@pocketpj2722]

I was diagnosed a sociopath or having traits of it a few years ago. Im extremely aware of it. Which is both a blessing and a curse. I know im mean, but I cant stop and cant understand why I developed this way. I know the trauma I went through and its definitely true that some people just dont even realize how bad their childhood was. I had some bad stuff happen but my brain doesnt connect that it was bad. It was my normal. It makes me really sad to see that disorders like this, ones that make people lash out, arent taken as serious mental illnesses like depression and anxiety. Instead we attack the mentally ill for having a disorder they never asked for and probably cant control without a therapist.

[@tonyjohnantonio3441]

Me too. It hurst me when I type "sociopath help" on search engines when all results I get are "how to spot a sociopath", "how to know if you are dating a sociopath".. It feels like all the world wants to do is hate on us rather than help us

[@kambido890]

@@tonyjohnantonio3441 The way i see it is that everyone does what a sociopath does, but a sociopath does it better bc the lack of emotion involved to mess things up. Like lying and manipulation, who doesn't do that? But sociopaths are just better bc they feel nothing when they do it. Or even love and caring. I don't care or love others bc i feel joy, happiness, or anything, i care for people bc i know it's the right thing to do bc logically, happiness is better than suffering. Even if it's a person i hate, i still wouldn't hurt them... yet, someone emotional may not care at all for people they hate. That's why they hate on us... bc we are better in some important ways. It just sucks bc i wish i felt things sometimes so others don't think i'm cold and uncaring, but the truth is... if you have me on your side, you have one of the most loyal people on this planet on your side. it's funny to me people talking about the "evil" sociopaths... it's all just click-bait teenager highschool drama. It's easy for me to see bc guess what... business in making money is pretty sociopathic.

[@mariahconklin4150]

I get it I can be mean to and feel as though I need to lash out at the person I feel hurt by…now he’s ignoring me for speaking the truth in a not so loving way. 🤷‍♀️ I’m to the point where we are gonna have to back off on certain things like kissing and hugging and just focus on our friendship and my personal development. My boyfriends ignoring me so 🤷‍♀️ but I’m used to this because I’ll lash out at people then they’ll all hate me then ignore me. Idk.

[@indicablue7450]

You feel sad like you really FEEL sad. Or do you feel numb & feel like you kniw thats a shitty thing to feel numb? As I have CPTSD I gelt numb for a long time I couldn't feel anything & that was worse than feeling my pain & no happiness at all even the smallest part.

[@sydneysprenkle9392]

Exactly. I’ve tried to have relationships and they always describe me as emotionless or crazy. I explained my past and all it did was give that person ammunition to try and put me down whenever I was “cold”. I wish it was seen the way depression is.

[@EternalMisanthropy]

i have been diagnosed with sociopathy and i have never cried so much while watching a video. this is the first time i have actually realized the things i’ve been doing wrong. my childhood was really bad and that’s why i make others go through pain but in reality it’s only something i use to make myself feel better about everything that happened when i was a child. i had nobody when i was little, literally nobody and people always tell me i’m a really bad person but trust me i’m trying. i always break down whenever i think about what happened. i have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and insomnia and i also take meds to control that. i don’t know what to do, i am only 13

[@funnycrow4462]

stop taking meds and try to go though it naturally

[@astraightfemalewhodoesntma674]

Your a sociopath though... you couldn't even keep your own lie ( or you are and your taking meds) but if not like dude...😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭 maybe your not a sociopath maybe your a normal person who is basically lieing to their selves????? Or your simply just a generally normal human being:p

[@wyattblair9436]

You're 13. You cant be diagnosed until 18.

[@Edgeflims]

Hmm interesting. I honestly didn’t know a sociopaths can feel sadness. I guess they’re just more numb then others. It just takes more to feel emotional, right? Not gonna lie, I doubted your words. It’s given that people will always have scepticism towards sociopaths, after all you could be actually lying and manipulating us right now but since this is not a direct conversation, I think you’re being honest. What would u say to abt all the scepticism towards sociopaths and the misconception that sociopaths are all uncaring? Mostly, how can we help people like you? Sorry for the long comment, generally curious! It may not be easy for you to feel happiness like the rest us (probably ur version of happiness is more like our satisfactory kind of happiness 😂 ) I do hope u will at least find fulfilment in life! At the end of the day, you’re still human with emotions just more subdued. All that said, I will never trust you at all. Yeah 😐 sorry.

[@kambido890]

@@Edgeflims The more knowledge a sociopath has, the better a person they can be, i would call that healing. For instance, you said they're "uncaring" ... well, what is caring... actually feeling something for someone else and not wanting them hurt, or not feeling anything, but understanding if that person is hurt, it hurts, or hurts others? That's why knowledge is key. I can't feel anything for others, but that doesn't mean i'm "uncaring" bc logically, i know suffering sucks. Also, it was a lot of suffering that likely developed my spectrum of sociopathy. This might be the selfishness of myself, but i believe caring for people due to logic is a lot stronger in "caring" ... bc i don't have to like you, i don't have to know you, you can be a personality of human i hate, but i still wouldn't want you to suffer bc i logically understand that sucks... therefore, i'd go out of my way to make sure i don't inflict suffering. I don't understand why people think sociopaths are violent or "evil" or anything negative. I may not "feel" much in terms of empathy and emotions, but that doesn't mean i don't strive to be a good person bc i logically understand good is better than bad. "You'll never trust me" ... that's a big who cares to me, but the thing is... just bc i'm on the spectrum, doesn't mean that automatically makes me someone that wants to do anything negative towards you. There are a lot of sociopaths like myself, doctors being on that list, that don't need empathy or emotions to understand happiness is something everyone wants/likes, therefore, to contribute to happiness as much as i humanly can. Honestly, i sometimes feel like Jesus bc i go out of my way to bring kindness and caring to the world even though it does nothing for me to do so... I feel no joy, happiness, exciting, fulfillment, in helping others and yet i still do it. All these sociopath videos on youtube seriously are just jumping on the click-bait train with the "evil" sociopath idea.

[@judith7026]

I think what people tend to forget is that sociopaths , more often than not are not always intentionally being “ evil .” They’re not thinking “ Let me go find someone to love bomb , value , and discard .” Unless I guess they’re extreme . It’s a big ol mix of maladaptive behaviors . A combination of low self esteem , low empathy , self centeredness, manipulative behavior , secretiveness etc . Most sociopaths are not purposely secretive . We may be thinking “ I have to keep my secrets and life private because people will use what I tell them against me .” So it seems like we’re gathering info on you to use against you while not saying much , but we’re actually just scared . We would rather you tell us everything and protect ourselves just in case . This happens subconsciously . We don’t even realize we’re scared and that this is a defense mechanism . What happens is our maladaptive behaviors and distorted view of how relationships work usually fucks up our relationships , but we fail to see how we played apart in the destruction of the relationship because in our mind we are victims(that child that never healed ) while also not understanding that we have adapted maladaptive behaviors that don’t work in our favor . This is why we “blame” the other party when a relationship ends . We really believe we are not at fault . We are not evil ! Just need a little guidance and self awareness . At least those who are not high on the spectrum .

[@sweetsourworld1583]

yes!

[@mariahconklin4150]

Marcella this is exactly what I went through with my ex of 4 months now I’m deemed a monster by him. I was diagnosed with BPD so honestly it was really a bad idea to be with the man I was with. I to couldn’t help how impulsive i was being with him especially with my words. I tried not to say shit things but sometimes it would just come out which was weird. I think in a way I got so sick and tired of him manipulating and gas lighting me. I was discarded by him on Christmas Eve and 3 days later he had said he met someone new and that everything was going good and when I told him I was talking to other men and moved on he was like “oh really? That’s great.” I then realized after this I didn’t want to date but focus on following God. Me and my ex of 6 years did go out but I set firm boundaries of just the two of us being friend’s. I realized then that I want to be there for him as a friend also because he’s unable to tell people what he’s going through only me. But yeah being with the last dude i was with the love bombing and mirroring was awful. I definitely did not handle it well. I even was like “don’t get mad if you see me at church” He even went as far as telling me that If he sees me he won’t be strong enough to move on. It’s like it’s fine dude because I’m following God and now I’ve lost all trust for you just like you have for me. 😢 I know eventually I’m gonna have to forgive him and your comment gives me hope to do so. I just don’t think he will be able to forgive me for his part or see how destructive he was to me to. I still can’t stop talking about the whole thing because he became an addiction to me sense I’ve dealt with childhood neglect. 😢 just trying to get him out of my head at this point it sucks.

[@Vonunov]

oh shit

[@starrysparkles404]

Thanks for sharing your experience. Please try to give others who are ( worthy of it) the benefit of the doubt ( sometimes) ok? Not everyone is scheming against you. I promise you. And let me apologize humbly for the ways you were hurt ,on behalf of the people who have hurt you. I'm really sorry about that, and I hope you can eventually move past it into healing and peace 💛

[@matilda4406]

If the world was a healing environment, everyone would heal.

[@dmackler58]

I agree!

[@lt7587]

I agree too, 100%!

[@jnewmark41]

@@dmackler58 Everyone??!! Daniel.....you know better....

[@mariahconklin4150]

So true and so profound! 🙂

[@SantaFeSuperChief1]

@@jnewmark41 A quite from one of Daniel's books, "We were created perfect, and despite the inevitability that we lose some of that perfection when we mature and develop in the midst of others who are wounded, we always retain the capacity to become perfect once again. The soul may be buried deeply, but as long as our hearts beat there remains hope."

[@user-dp2jo6eo5q]

I’ve been told my a psychologist that I am a sociopath and was misdiagnosed with BPD because I’m a woman. He’s right, this is something I knew. The diagnosis itself doesn’t bother me, but I realized a couple years ago after a tragedy just how much this shit takes away from me. I push people away, I was up everyday with so much hate/ irritation inside of me. I almost always feel very numb now that I have cut criminal activities and those associates out of my life. When im on mushrooms I feel empathy, and I have to really focus on being in the moment otherwise the feeling will suffocate me thinking about all that I’ve done. Anyways, thanks for your different perspective. I’ve seen everywhere else that this is a completely incurable disease.

[@proto1132]

I have a friend who deals with this, and he is changing. So it is possible.

[@DarkMoonDroid]

Bless you for being his friend.

[@sharriceowens913]

Can u tell.me how

[@freshguy54]

Jesus can take It away

[@freshguy54]

@@sharriceowens913 Jesus Christ can heal it

[@jnewmark41]

changing??? This makes me question a lot. Changing how? Can you give more info?

[@jessesapolski8649]

It's "impossible" for sociopaths to heal in the modern world because there are so few therapists who are actually doing therapy in a way that would make that possible. Or understand the situation as you do Daniel. I believe that most, if not all psychotherapists who have your level of intelligence and empathy cannot stay in the profession. That leaves all of the ones who merely do as they are told, and act as cogs in the machine. A sociopath cannot learn how to be human again if the person in the chair across the room is cut off from their own humanity as well.

[@Joshdifferent]

💯💯💯

[@jessesapolski8649]

@@steffenirgens7022 as the fabric of society falls apart, it becomes harder and harder to find anyone in ANY profession who isn't just a product of their toxic environment. This is especially true in the helping professions, because the most toxic (narcissists and psychopaths, which there is an epidemic of) are especially drawn to positions where they have power over people. Many people, sociopaths or otherwise, have been very damaged and even abused by this system and as you say it is very sad but most cannot see they are like the frogs in the boiling water.

[@badbeachindustry1615]

It's also hard because the society we live in is fundamentally sociopathic aswell. It's encouraged and when you're on your own and very traumatised it's only normal to grow up into one.

[@Road.to.recovery]

I had what I believe to be a spiritual awakening a couple of year ago. After this I came to look at myself and how I treat people and myself. I believe u was a sociopath/ narcissist and I have done everything in my ability to change the person I was to the person I am now. People can change if they are honest enough with themselves. It is sort of like a programming. We are programmed to be who we are but we can reprogram ourselves to be the best for us and all around us. Your words speak so much truth. Love and blessings to you all and thankyou for the video

[@j4ret221]

Thanks for this.

[@tablescissors]

This is very, very interesting. Can you explain how you had that spiritual awakening?

[@Road.to.recovery]

@@tablescissors I had fell poorly and was very ill thinking I was going to die when covid first hit. After a few days of being ill I just woke up amd sprung out of bed feeling amazing and on top of the world. I had researched spirituality for many years and wanted an awakening to happen to me so when this happened I knew exactly what it was I was experiencing so I flew. My life changed. I found how to love myself, love myself enough to be the best person I can be for myself then everyone else also. Its hard to explain but you know when it happens

[@kriskaymusic2]

@@Road.to.recoverysounds like a manic episode lol same happened to me a lot of ppl with ASPD also are bipolar 1

[@maggra4347]

My former boss is a sociopath. And she's a PSYCHIATRIST!!! This is one of the worst types of personality in the world... Manipulation after manipulation. And because she knows she is intelligent and has a PhD, she will never have a will to change. It's hopeless...

[@cantwaittodietoday9924]

I am not surprised everyone I met in the psych field abuses and bullies patients and behave like sociopaths/ npds and even psychopaths. Even if they dont they will act as support to their evil colleagues by gaslighting us. they will mock patients attack patients, abuse patients and laugh about it right in front of the patient. It is a horrifying experience for patients especially in psch hospitals where they are locked up and under the mercy of psych staffs.

[@jnewmark41]

HOPELESS is right word....

[@smarylin95able]

Wow

[@annmarie6870]

Most people in the churches (church leaders, Elders, etc) are sociopaths it’s sad. Just dealt with it and now I’m using creative ways to purge the people that hurt me out of my mind. Just downloaded a cool comic book app which has helped. But yes those with a PHD are usually the most manipulative it’s sad. Anyone in leadership.

[@annmarie6870]

@@cantwaittodietoday9924 yep I’ve experienced this abuse

[@tino0115]

Interesting topic. People usually don't see the difference between Sociopaths and Psychopaths, but i think it's important to establish that Sociopaths can be helped.

[@jnewmark41]

FACT: Psychopaths are wired differently FROM BIRTH. Hence, genetic.

[@sugarrollz3524]

But how are we suppost to help phycopaths to ):

[@sugarrollz3524]

@Louis Torres ):

[@sugarrollz3524]

@Louis Torres why

[@sugarrollz3524]

@Louis Torres i kinda cant just give my name to random people on the internet sorry

[@humannotperfect1158]

I want to say thank you for this video. Because I was wondering about myself and how I was antisocial but now it may all sense. Now I know I have to put in the work to change my mindset. Thank you once again for this video

[@mariahconklin4150]

Right? Lol! I want to cry right now I’m so happy. ☺️

[@user001monkeiyman]

I believe I am sociopath but growing up I have started feeling even more, guilt, a bit of empathy etc. Sociopaths can change but it's crazy and a painful journey

[@20SG20]

I am here if you want to talk about it, dear 💗.

[@StompingRabbits]

Real sociopaths have no feeling of compunction, if you're experiencing pangs of conscious due to your behavior then you aren't a sociopath. Sociopaths don't care about the evils they visit upon others, they are blind to it. Go get yourself properly diagnosed by a professional....

[@tablescissors]

I would very much enjoy reading or listening to someone like yourself detail out that emotional journey.

[@tablescissors]

@@StompingRabbits - incorrect, sociopaths, unlike psychopaths, CAN feel remorse, although they rarely act on it and/or may not feel remorse for everything they do that would be construed as wrong/selfish/damaging etc.

[@HH-kg4fq]

​@@StompingRabbits NO, that is not accurate. There are degrees of sociopathy. YOU SOUND like a sociopath. Smh.

[@extrajazhands]

u seriously give me hope man, with these people who are dealing with this type of thing. i mean im currently struggling with my own mental health and its been causing me some lack of remorse or empathy, which has caused me to become a "worser" person than i was before, even if i practically have no reason for it and used to be an empathetic and supportive person towards the one who i cared for. ive just been having a war against my emotions and thoughts, trying to make me think that everything that is horrible is "okay" even when i know that it isnt. and it even makes me feel reluctant towards help even tho i very much need it. ur videos make me feel better though, everytime i listen to them. im hanging onto my courage and hope so that i can eventually get out of the mess that ive created for myself, even in the most hopeless moments that my emotions cause me to feel. thank u

[@TheJunolao]

Thaks for beeing a real psychotherapist and thanks for share that wisdom. I really appreciate your work man, best wishes.

[@citharai]

You inspire me so much, you have no idea of how grateful i am for your videos, im gonna study psychology so i can be like you

[@heartwisdomlove]

my mother was so severely controlled and traumatized by my father that she could not protect her children my father was extremely victimized by his parents my fathers parents were abusive to my mother also my father suffered severe emotional and physical and psychological abuse yet he was tormented by having to work and raise a family there was a lot of emotional incest, inappropriate sexual behavior and sexual addiction in my family my mothers side of the family also had some physical abuse and inappropriate sexual behavior alcohol was an issue in my fathers family and also in my mothers family to some degree at the moment when someone decides to live in an antisocial way it can be a way for them to prevent emotional problems from occurring and to prevent being reactive and being judged or embarrassed certainly in my family i see that antisocial behavior is a safe way for them to keep their feelings suppressed without good education people cannot change and if they stay in denial they won’t even seek healing modalities people have every right not to remember their traumatic memories the ego will suppress memories for the psyche to be safe recently i have had massive amounts of my past memories resurfacing it is fascinating for me to see how extremely dysfunctional my family life was when I was growing up and observe it in a new light now that i have had over thirty years of therapy i see how my desire for freedom from an abusive situation caused me to abandon my siblings i could have fought harder to stop the abuse nowadays parents can not get away with extreme abuse like they could in the 50s and 60s and 70s one major abusive situation that still exists in our world is lack of sexual education and also an abundance of sexual shame still exists we are still coming out of the dark ages history is still repeating

[@DerAufseher1]

I am a sociopath and it is very hard for me and this really helped, thank you man.

[@SpartanChalo13]

God I was such a horrible person growing up due to being a sociopath. It honestly feels like demonic possession.

[@infpgirl9231]

it is demonic posession

[@infpgirl9231]

what changed you?

[@SpartanChalo13]

infpgirl psychedelics gave me insight to the type of person I’ve been my entire life. I saw how manipulative, evil, fake and dishonest of a person I was. I felt disgusted about myself when I saw the person that I was. I started reading the bible and being just a more overall positive person. I regret everything about my life but I know God forgives. (I don’t condone the use of drugs at all btw)

[@feediamond2317]

It is demonic

[@cannonballlight4939]

@@SpartanChalo13 how is your outlook on the things you’ve done in the past, now?

[@derekbecker3987]

The internet is flooded with sensationalist, hysterical, click bait "victim" stories so its refreshing to see a more dimensional take on the matter.

[@kimvannote5024]

I agree with you. I believe people can heal - absolutely. A lot of children who were abused didn't have one Ally, a witness to stand up for them and help/protect them, so they could work through the effects of the abuse/trauma, so they end up stuck and disassociated from the trauma as a survival mechanism, which is tragic. Pretty much, Ann Miller said this regarding trauma. All they would've needed was one person to care enough about them, then they could've worked through the trauma. So sad. There are so many hurting people out there - the walking wounded, and you wouldn't even know it. A lot of people are acting out their pain through narcissism or sociopatholical ways.

[@charlieclarke2473]

kim not all sociopaths are made from trauma its more common to have them be neglected in there developmental stage and from that learn nothing but how to hide there emotions. because all did at one point have emotions and its not the fact they had nobody was there to care for them because most did , its that at some point there emotions were deemed irelivent and worthless so now they fear the carer will act this way to and not give them the help they wont because they will never get the help and care they wont for it doesnt fucking exist cause theyve never had help so dont know what it is so crave what they cannot obtain. its the crying at night and hoping someone will comfort you but they never do and over time you stop wonting the comfurt, thats what makes a monster not trauma not bullying but emotional represion so strong you no longer feel

[@dmackler58]

Good points Charlie, but I would add that neglect is a form of trauma, and in some cases the worst form...

[@charlieclarke2473]

@@dmackler58 uh-oh

[@kimvannote5024]

@@dmackler58 I agree. Neglect can make you feel Insignificant, Worthless, Invisible and Rejected - Dehumanized. It's Very Shaming and Traumatizing. Yes.

[@dmackler58]

@@kimvannote5024 Yes -- and I'm also thinking of the little babies who have been shown to die or become severely emotionally disturbed from the effects of emotional neglect, the famous babies from the Romanian orphanages... They received all the food and cleanliness that they needed but just no love or physical touch -- and it traumatized them severely...

[@tbd5082]

To bad you are not still a therapist. But I think it’s good you are offering your insights.

[@cornloin9732]

he is retired

[@reyskully7778]

I was bullied in school by older kids and I tried to stand up for my self but I was too small and it was getting boarderline physical. So I told my stepdad. When we got to school the kids said I was harassing them and I got in trouble because my stepdad said I lied about what happened. These moments killed me inside. I look back and honestly all I wanted was love and instead I was treated like an object. I don’t trust anyone and it’s ruined my relationships with women. I’ve never been able to let anyone in because when I do start caring about them I invent excuses for leaving them that feel so real but as I look back I noticed that I just ruined chances to love someone because I feared they would abandon me so I left first. I get labeled as evil and cold when honestly I just want love but at this point I wouldn’t know what to do with someone’s affection if I got it. I understand why I am as I am I just wish others understood better but when I explain myself people act like they understand but when I have my bad days when I feel like the world is breaking at the seams I get looked at like a problem and people just want u to “get over it” so it only makes me wanna jump ship which makes me feel like shit so I blame them ......and I just wish I wasn’t like this. But it’s cared to open up when u see things the way I do

[@codedemenssoftwaredawidjak2253]

Hello Rey! You are not alone. I had similar scenario in my childhood. I was bullied in elementary and middle school (for over 8 years, ended up when I entered high school at the age of 15), and had symptoms of high functional (but deep) depression, along with anxiety and emotional flashbacks. I've had some trauma after school bullying and your history kinda reminds me mine. I have always had avoidant attachment style, was mostly introvert, and geeky when it came to learning programming (which I've started learning at the age of 13). Some people in family (most of the family) didn't understood me, and I felt I wasn't heard, but what I've realized is that I could be training my skills so I'll be able to overcome everything and find a good paid job. It ended up as working alone as a C++ programmer and I've overcomed depression and trauma. I listened to Heavy Metal, trained typing speed, played much time tetris... But also recently I'm training cardio, calisthenics, and having every day cold shower (sometimes even 2 cold showers every day). I've also started to put on paper my emotions. From my experience, the only way I could withstand those emotions, was by training (it is called "sublimation" in psychoanalysis) and allowing yourself to grieve, and show the emotions. It's hard, because after so much trauma, you are probably blocked. Sometimes the person has to force oneself to do that. By overthrowing them to something meaningful, meaningful. In my personal experience, it's hard to find someone to help you. I had one friendship that lasted 11 years, but still... When a person is depressed (And I was - very depressed, but many times high-functioning), there is always dis-balance in relationships. I hope you will overcome everything you've encountered. If there is any way I could help you let me know. Please remember, that you deserve to be happy, and there is always a light, that beats the darkness, Peace on mind.

[@mariahconklin4150]

Nah I’m the same way I totally get it. I have 0 friends. 🤷‍♀️ I’m comfortable this way though.

[@protocetus499]

I feel the same to be honest bro

[@starrysparkles404]

@@protocetus499 may you find peace,I'm sorry for everything that's happened to you. 😞💛

[@protocetus499]

@@starrysparkles404 yeah its hard my life is constantly filled with impulsive rage, often i feel that my heart are empty inside. I thirst for "thrill" to fill that void.

[@joeford8744]

Hello sir, I had a terrible childhood similar to your descriptions of others. I am not Diagnosed but I have known I was this way at the age of 15 or so. I tried to harm others and even take my own life multiple times. When I finally left my environment I decided to help others instead of helping myself. That caused me to instead of physically hurting others to emotionally manipulating them. That was my way of feeling, seeing others emotions on their face. The past 3 years I've done a lot of inner self care, and when I get the urge to manipulate I shut down the "operation" so to speak. I relate to finding that inner child, I know hes there. I still feel no empathy for anyone or myself but I can better understand my own trauma. I believe the only healing someone with sociopathy can achieve is through understanding that child as you said, but I doubt that they can feel any remorse or empathy. The only emotion known is the one from childhood. You seem like a great man, thank you for the video and understanding.

[@StompingRabbits]

Having a shit childhood doesn't automatically make you a sociopath. You have to be examined and diagnosed by a professional.... The child hood hardship story isn't a substitute for a proper diagnosis.... Lots of people survived a shitty abusive childhood and don't end up a Sociopath, narcissist or psychopath......yeesh! Grow up already!

[@conantheseptuagenarian3824]

@@StompingRabbits this person was being open and vulnerable and honest and you sound like a kunt.

[@sydneysprenkle9392]

I tell myself “I can’t be this way anymore” all the time. In intimate relationships I’ve been described as cold, emotionless, or the things I’ve done that I’m trying to move past and work on has made me evil and crazy. When I finally told someone my past that I was trying to be involved with and attempt to have feelings for it was used against me constantly. Thank you for the reassurance that as long as I keep trying I can hopefully change or at least become a better person.

[@vidoxi]

thank you for this video, this topic is so beautiful and interesting to me. i wanted to be a therapist or criminal psychologist or something in that vein to help expand awareness about aspd and what can be done to help people with it. i read an interesting thing not too long ago about how even someone with aspd can experience empathy by simply just trying to imagine being the other person, so it definitely isnt a condition that can never be improved. i made a friend about a year ago who likely had aspd and he had issues for sure but i knew him well enough to confidently say that he was not a bad person, just very traumatized. we had a surprisingly good, healthy friendship and i know that my empathy/support had a positive impact on him.

[@WeTheFactClan]

I think I was a conditioned sociopath in my teens, I've done some terrible stuff and I had an incredible sense of self-importance. However I do believe I started to think about morality in general after doing something really bad and started to treat myself, just trying to become a better person.

[@abeydore]

My therapist told me, that I am a sociopath. I never had ever any emotions, like shame, guilt or anything else. I beat up children when I was 6 years old into coma and tried to kill that person, while beating his head with my feet. What helped me to change and feel guilt, was feeling the pain when i felt the pain, loosing a friend of mine, that hunted so much that I wanted to change and get through the pain...

[@everything5066]

Wow .I'm proud of you

[@stefaniamirri1112]

I simply adore you, your freedom of thinking and speech.. Bless you millions of times.. Go on Daniel, go on helping ppl!!! Heal ppl Daniel, YOU ARE NEEDED!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖

[@dymphnatherese2595]

In my personal life, I've found psychopaths to be low in neuroticism and sociopaths to be quite high with the simple absence of guilt. I'm referring to neuroticism by the 5 factor model (OCEAN.) Daniel, you're insight is wonderful and I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

[@idonthaveaname42]

Accurate

[@StompingRabbits]

Sociopaths can be cool, calm & collected as they're running a scam on someone capable of putting them in a world of hurt...they're not always that way but while they're pulling the wool over their marks eyes they are...

[@starrysparkles404]

To every person who has aspd. I'm really really sorry that you've been hurt. I'm apologizing on behalf of the people who have hurt you. I'm sorry for the pain you're in. You also remember what it's like to hurt deeply, and so do I. Please don't fuel the fire by continuing to harm others, because if you really think about it,it doesn't really benefit you. You'll lose the ones who actually do love you,who see you, and are able to love you unconditionally. You matter,so don't fuel the fire of your emotions, and don't hurt others because in reality,you end up hurting your self too. I'm sorry for the things you've gone through, and I hope you find peace and happiness and love. 💛

[@physicianskitchen]

I personally was probably not a sociopath (if anything I would describe myself as a vulnerable narcissist) but had supressed empathy a lot as a result of of trauma. I was also quite manipulative and very self oriented. I had two or three stints in between jobs where I spent a lot of time alone for months, quite disconnected from the people and that's when all kinds of supressed inner monsters, trauma and memories came out, I cried countless times and days, grieved, journaled, felt quite bad for many many days. I relate to you saying these are people who didn't have a single person who honestly loved them as kids. I'm still on a path of healing but I reconnected with a lot of my empathy. I gained a lot of self awareness and try my best to be as considerate towards others with no agenda.

[@0NeverEver]

I remember the shock as an adult when my mother suddenly traited me (propably she has developed some sort of brain damage). It shook my personality and view on people quiet a bit. I can not imagine what traiting through the closest relatives does to a kid. So we are definitly not in the position to understand and judge whats going on in a full sociopath 😢

[@ad-spiritus]

A great story of hope that relates to these issues is Avatar: The Last Airbender. It’s fiction, and animated, but it’s deep and beautiful and deals a lot with this kind of concept in a way that shows how there can be hope and change for people who are abused and taught anger & hatred but learn to love themselves & others again. Every single person i’ve seen react to that series has cried, in a good way. It’s a beautiful story.

[@liveyourbestlife1513]

My brother has APD, including violence, unwarranted aggression, and lack of remorse. I have learned that if you are waiting for a sociopath or narcisist to change, you've already lost. You will continue to suffer at their hands until you give up waiting for them to change. My brother was driven to APD by my parents, but I had to put up with all of them for so long. I am so happy that I haven't seen or talked with my brother in 7 years and counting!

[@dmackler58]

@Sarah Min hi Sarah, I agree. in my personal life the last thing I want is someone who demonstrates sociopathic or narcissistic qualities. been there, done that!!! and even most therapists want to avoid these types of people, and in many cases I had only so much tolerance for them, especially if I feel they were trying to get one over on me, that is, lie and deceive, etc. but in some cases people who I could or would never have tolerated in my personal lives became very engaged in the therapeutic process and did a lot of changing. all the best, Daniel

[@matilda4406]

@Sarah Min Exactly! Thank you so much. So should they be told to seek help or not? Or should they realize that on their own ??

[@scottpreston5074]

@Sarah Min A psychopath is not likely to seek help because they don't think that they have a problem. They don't have problems, but, in their eyes we have the problem because we are too soft and too stupid. They will go into therapy in prison in order to convince a parole board that they've reformed.

[@scottpreston5074]

@Sarah Min I'm still not convinced, but I appreciated your willingness to try and help people. Dr. Hare treated a psychopath in prison and thought that he had made some progress. The psychopath tried to kill him by booby trapping his car. Most won't go that far, but they quite often enjoy hurting people or getting them fired. There is statistical evidence that there is a strong genetic component to psychopathy in that it occurs at a consistent 1% in the general population of the world. They have a strong will to survive, which may be why the genotype persists. Psychopaths have led armies, raided villages, forced themselves on women (If they are men), destroyed and built cultures. They generally interfere with the progress of civilization because progress is based on co-operation rather than competition. They generally tend to be better looking than the average population because of the dominant and highly selective mating habits of the males; and this also helps to make them extra deadly. They have changed the world (think of Hitler, Napoleon, and Stalin) but never for the better. Psychopathy is an interesting subject. I hope you never get involved with one.

[@matilda4406]

@@scottpreston5074 They are vehemently opposed to progress. Progress requires co-operation indeed! Not competition

[@o.osupbro9331]

Ever since I figured I had ASPD and slowly started to learn where in my childhood it came from it's been easier to control my impulses and let shit go. I still deal with overwhelming anger but now I just kinda isolate cause I know what I'm capable of and I don't want to put anyone else through what I went through as a kid. So. Thank you for this video.

[@skeeterhill3299]

How are you continuously helping yourself

[@starrysparkles404]

Show lots of love and compassion to yourself, and grieve the past. You are strong, and I believe in you. I hope you find peace and happiness soon💛

[@jesusizhere]

Hello Daniel, Thank you for this video. Everything you said brings to the forefront all the things that I am not aware of or easily able to remember. This was healing for me. I will share this and rewatch when needed.

[@the81kid]

In my humble opinion, the question is not so much can sociopaths heal, but do they want to heal? They are very different questions. Most people, perhaps all people, can heal a lot (perhaps completely?). But few people want to. Few people are capable of wanting to be self-aware, even as just a future objective. If someone doesn't want to heal, they will never heal.

[@jnewmark41]

excellent observation

[@threethrushes]

People often go through their whole lives living superficially. I gave up long ago trying to engage deeply with these kinds of people.

[@saumitrsharma2816]

I agree, I would say I was on a way to very dark place my each and every action was to get approval.....Some how I went for help, he asked to look for my motivation....I can say that I have no real self.....I have to build it

[@the81kid]

@@saumitrsharma2816 I'm glad you made it.

[@fernandaherreracorrea6191]

That's exactly what I though! It all sums up to "Is there any type of circumstance/life event/need/problem that might lead a person with antisocial personality disorder to seek therapy with an authentic objective of fixing something that seems to be playing against them"? Even if it's for selfish purposes from their part, I guess they just need to want that "change" for real, that's the door for hope.

[@blinkybill7677]

Setting boundaries with people helps you heal from this I think (claiming back your identity and free will), as well as humbling yourself. It's definitely related to pride.

[@DaveyDavirson]

Yes you can, just believe in yourself and know things will get better. I caught myself like that and kept working on myself took me some time but I did it and you can too :)

[@annmarie6870]

I think anyone can be like this I know that I can be a monster at times. Lol!

[@jessalfan24]

I know this video is really old, but I have to say that this is so encouraging and I can only imagine how hopeful this has made so many people. Thank you.

[@Annniiika]

Wow! This is powerful. I hope other doctors and therapists listen to this.

[@AgeofReason]

Listening to your playlists in my headphones at work. Thanks for all of your critical thinking and deep analysis of the thing which is called the mind.

[@tnt01]

Most sociopaths will not go to therapy and if they do, very rare they will change significantly. Possible but not probable.

[@jnewmark41]

tnt true

[@tnt01]

​@@jnewmark41 I lost sympathy for sociopaths a long time ago, unfortunately. They do a lot of damage to people :(

[@jnewmark41]

@@tnt01 sad but true....true sociopaths do not have ability to have empathy...it is sad and we should not judge them.

[@tnt01]

@@jnewmark41 No judgement but compassion from a far. I will not allow another one in my life.

[@scottpreston5074]

@@jnewmark41 We have to judge them in order to recognize them and protect ourselves.

[@afireinhearts1302]

YES. I enjoy this particular subject veryy much; it's fascinating to consider the possibility, and an important thing to hopefully continue exploring and developing, together. Thank you for this video!

[@melawieeinapfel8594]

I totally confirm!!!!! MDMA aloud me to finally feel. To feeling thankful, to have no fear anymore and much more. Also I was living in some sort of assisted living where I had to earn the trust I was held accountable for each little action. I could write a long txt but it would overwhelm me, so I just tell you, it is possible. Untill I met a narcisist that was violent and abusive ... I went through all of what I went through in my childhood AGAIN 😕 I rebuilt those coping mechanisms.. feel like it's almost all gone .. crying my eyes out

[@Vonunov]

It's normal that over time you lose touch with the feeling of universal empathy / loving-kindness / connectedness of all beings. It is possible to conjure a shadow of it in your mind, but you usually just have to revisit the substance and refresh the deeply integrated feeling of the truth that you know. You might refresh the feeling also by doing things that enact the truths, or get more lasting integration of the feeling by the use of various psychedelics rather than just empathogens.

[@annmarie6870]

Danial you do realize that just because sociopaths cry doesn’t mean that they are being genuine right? My ex could cry on command he enjoyed hearing about my pain and trauma I think in a way he felt better about himself. He to could talk about his past traumas but his constant “living in a Disney romance” and “lies” took me over the edge. Gas lighting, manipulation, mirroring. It was hard for me to distinguish when I was doing the same thing because of my trauma but I felt like I was in a horror movie. The constant put downs and me lashing back because I could almost feel the manipulation and hurt. The constant questions about me and about how he can change…etc etc etc. His mom has him on a tight leash to basically doing everything she wants him to do and he to is able to manipulate his mom. No thank you others may not see through his crap but I do. 🤷‍♀️

[@dmackler58]

I agree, Ann Marie. People can cry for all sorts of different reasons, healthy and otherwise, and for manipulative reasons too. But no one who heals, including people called sociopaths, can avoid deep grieving and the tears that go along with it. That's what I've observed. Daniel

[@PathOwOgenEmpire]

I will be very honest. I am almost 16 i have noticed my lack of empathy. I'm not diagnosed but i truly believe im a sociopath. Im a loner most of the time and i often don't speak unless spoken to. I often just look at friendship as some kind of accessory i wear one day and just forget about it when im bored. And honestly i related to most of what he said so far. And if it is true i really do want to heal.

[@PathOwOgenEmpire]

If you clicked to comment please dont because this is goin to be just my reply and i will tell my experience

[@PathOwOgenEmpire]

When i around the age of 4 my mom took me, and the rest of my family out of state (i didn't know my dad and would not meet him until 7 years later that only resulted me being pawned off from my mom). I was first molested by my ("cousin") being only 4 and not knowing anything about sexuality didn't think much of it at the time. 2 years later was the second time i was molested. I wont specify the relationship of the person because i never want any mention of their existence. And throughout it's been mostly phycological abuse. Physical abuse. Then i met my dad. Boy was i excited to finally meet him for the first time. Only for him to put me in a choke hold. Then because of my mother not wanting me anymore made me live with him for 4 years. Now i am living somewhere comfortable for now. Not unscathed. And now i am on the brink of failing school because of online and i have just about every attention disorder known to man.

[@20SG20]

​@@PathOwOgenEmpire Man, i am so sorry for you.

[@Tjukkemarthaa]

Every therapist should watch your channel.

[@northernskylightsbright7527]

I really love my sociopath. He cannot help how he grew up. In all the people who I ever met,he has gone through the most. Abuse, traumatic experiences,he's depressed,lonely,and I wish I could put a bandage on his hurting heart. It's very difficult to explain to him how I was hurt badly too,and we both get caught up in our personal pains.Its so hard for him,I'm sure,but as he's very vindictive,it's difficult to trust. I am now separated from him,only because we both need to work on ourselves,so that we can one day find some semblance of peace. We ended up with a lot of pain,but I always do admire how tough and resilient he is,it's just,you know,it's so heartbreaking to see someone else suffer like that. It's just not fair what happened to him.I hope one day he finds peace.🙏👍

[@surprisesofjoyfulness8147]

So ,they know how devastatingly painful it is to be abused,but still do it. Hmmm so hard to understand. If you are hurting someone else, please know, that you are robbing yourself. And you are loved. People get frustrated by being betrayed,violated,hurt over and over. We Are so sorry you've been mistreated by your family, and dealing with the pain and rage is possible. You don't have to be afraid of being exposed when you treat others well. Cry ,feel it. Remember we are in this together. We all get swallowed up by rage and pain sometimes too. You can get better. You are Worth something. We just don't want to be hurt either. Hurting others will not make pain go away. It makes it worse. We are all hurting. Forgive yourself, and just try to get some help. The key to healing is to let go of your anger and rage and pain. Find a way around it. It doesn't have to dictate how you are. Have hope, and remember that hurting others won't solve anything.

[@surprisesofjoyfulness8147]

Thanks so much for the video! I was in a rage at my sociopath today. This made ALL my rage drain away.......Now I don't want to hurt him the way he hurt me....Thank you. Thank you.

[@cristinamorar6926]

I started too be a little bit of a sociopath and i knew i needed treetment thank you

[@emmaaaaaaaaa.2]

You are an amazing therapist and your passion for helping others can be felt. Keep doing the amazing work that you are doing!! I hope that you know how powerful your patience, unconditional care and kindness is. I pray that this message and ideology of healing the inner child and being vulnerable becomes more wide spread, you are making waves of positive change!

[@threethrushes]

I met these kinds of people frequently in the corporate world. They tend to be very 'successful'.

[@PeterGregoryKelly]

Intelligent people who are high in trait disagreeableness, of anti social personality disorder or psychopaths can be extremely successful but unintelligent they will more likely go to prison

[@colsoncustoms8994]

You never know what somebody else has gone through or is going through. Redemption is arguably one of the most important aspects of society, personal growth, and actual happiness. Why change if that change can’t even be accepted, be that from other people, or the person themselves. There has to be the opportunity to “do the right thing” for everyone, especially those with the most adversity to “do the right thing”. If those learned or genetic traits can be overcome, those exact people have the chance to change themselves in ways unimaginable to most.

[@halfdeadwizard1009]

That's the difference between sociopaths and pyschopaths. Sociopaths have emotion and regret but struggle to show it where pyschopaths on the other hand are completely cold hearted and don't feel bad about the people they hurt

[@tatecentral1221]

Meditation showed me that my seek for power and control was from my incecurities and weakness. It’s ironic because I changed my life when I figured out that the hardest thing for me to do was to be connected and emotional. I found that it was cowardly to run from my feelings and to seek control over others. Real power and liberation comes from peace with in. Being a sociopath is to much work lol

[@starrysparkles404]

This is a beautiful video, with lots of hope and compassion for the hurting. It's always important to look at each other and ourselves with extreme compassion. This is a messed up world that were all victims of,one way or another. It's lovely to see this disorder being humanized. Let's work together to make sure that we make the world a better place, and that starts with the way we treat one another and ourselves. The only way to fix this world is with kindness and compassion and unconditional love,both for ourselves and one another. Not a sociopath,but I know and love a few. They're truly hurting people. Even though they sometimes refuse to face/ admit it. Btw,let me apologize humbly on behalf of the world that has hurt the people who struggle with ASPD. Sometimes us neurotypical people are hurting too, and we can be hurtful,so I apologize for this. 😞. Wishing you all the very best wishes to find peace, support, and compassion for you and others as well. May healing find you now. 💛💛💛

[@teshayazzie7712]

I feel like you just fell pray to their manipulation to say you have seen them have empathy. My ex husband had a diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder. He loved pretending he had emotions. Then praying on mine. He is poisonous. I don’t believe they change. They only lie. He physically and emotionally abused me for years. And I’m still struggling and afraid for my life. The only relief i have got for my safety is him locked up.

[@sl5311]

There was an article by scientists in Scientific American about 8 years ago that discussed developing treatments for sociopaths. You are the second person I have heard that has hope for them. I am adopted and my adopted sister from another genetic family is a sociopath. In part of it is in-born... and in her case, abuse from my adopters and the drugs she took to cope made her more remorseless, more callous...and she is very charismatic and clever-she is very dangerous in that respect. In my case I became a people pleaser-turned the abuse inward. But I got into therapy but she didn't. There is no way she will ever get help because that means she will have to be vulnerable with someone and there is no way she will ever be vulnerable again. I remember when my son was born he was so happy. That is when I knew that we are born and others really screw us up. It is always a failure of love. A failure of the parents to love themselves, or their parents to have been taught love. I personally believe it is going to take pharmaceuticals to help them. If you think they are going to get therapy en masse, well there is no way. There are too many wounded people out there-the environment is not healthy and they will go back into that behavior. But if they can take medication that can dampen the evil urges, or to have open up the happier sides of their brain, well that will give them some hope. It is very hard to correct the limbic system once it has been damaged in childhood. Extremely hard.

[@taketheredpill1452]

It's important to distinguish between psychopathy (nature) and sociopathy (nurture)

[@kirripless]

Could not agree more, Daniel. Am writing a book about intergenerational trauma right at this moment which includes everything you are saying (in my own words and from my own experience and observations) and more! Keep up the incredible work.

[@bananaberry90]

my boyfriend told me in a stressful moment he did not want to be responsible for my feelings responsible for my emotions responsible for me feel some type of love....then he list all the stresses that were going on and he did not want to have to deal with me while going through his issues....this is because I called him on how he was flipped with me when I ask him a question in regards to our business....at this moment I was done. Was going to deal with him on a business level.... the next day he tell me to drop it and act as if it never happen....I am sick of him... he is an asshole when he is stressed and seems to want to run away if I call him on what he does....he throws these emotional temper fits and then turns around as if nothing happen

[@unknowntosociety01]

I feel for you, I hope you walked out and let him face himself so he can correct his actions and not harm more people in the future.

[@Bazaarofgaming]

Life is painful for sociopath, no one realizes the kind of life we have, they just look at the behaviour, I was never appreciated by someone, was beaten by peers and humiliated by family, they say I'm a freak but I know that I'm naturally a good person

[@SusieN2011]

Hi, I am dealing with this adorable guy who displays all the traits of a malignant narcissist/sociopath. He was so sweet and I loved that child like sweetness he displayed. I fell in love with him. He has manipulated, lied, and controlled me. He is hurting me so bad, I try not to be sensitive. He keeps telling me he wants my love so bad and when I praise him, he gets happy. I told him I have so much love to give him and that I want to hold him tight and not let anyone hurt him. Help please! I'm a codependent, what am I getting myself into??

[@mariahconklin4150]

Create boundaries everyone is toxic some way or another.

[@reyna9873]

thank you sooo much for this. im 17 and i havent undergone any trauma but i grew up with the belief that true love is not possible, true compassion, truly acknowledging someone and having true sense of empathy, someone who is truly a listener, truly predictable doesn't exist and i made myself to adopt to that kind of a society even before i was even exposed to 'society'. this is due to my mother's behaviour because of her horrible childhood and the fights , manipulation and problems between my parents. but my mom has always tried to make me and my sister feel loved but she hasn't been consistent in her emotions and has been very unpredictable and sometimes emotionally neglecting but i know she's never meant to do so. i started to live my life believing certain emotions are wrong and shouldnt be felt and ive also felt proud when i successfully behaved that way .ive felt a lack of empathy in myself, an airhead kind of behaviour, not restraining from behaving badly with the ones i love and ive cried a lot thinking about whether or not i even love my family or my friends or lover. but now i have a girlfriend who i have been best friends with for the past 5 years and she's such a genuine, loving, caring person. and everytime she showed love and kindness i feel like i'd been slapped and prevent myself from feeling anything at all. this went on and i even kissed her despite feeling this way. after about 5 months in the relationship i finally started feeling miserable and started to doubt if i have relationship anxiety or depression or general anxiety and she was alwayss there for throughout that period. but after a certain period of time she has started losing herself too, blaming herself for me feeling bad and altought connected, we feel apart. we're still together and i want to fix this and become better, and i have been able to do so when i started regretting the things i have done and my very strong will to change. yesterday i read about sociopaths and was very sure i have behaved in that way many times in my life and i felt miserable. i wanted to be healed, be cured and i really regret behaving this way. Thank you very very much for spreading this message bec all i have seen are negative and really horrible depictions on youtube and even google says there's no cure. i really really want to become better and live a long happy life with my gf and have feelings of remorse, guilt, empathy, and sadness for others. and i have felt those many times in the past but i also dont like this sociopathic version of myself. i dont want to waste my one beautiful life being a harm to those that love me and probably those that i love.

[@プレイボイカルティ]

I can relate to you. All of us are still human beings, nothing makes us different from manifesting in the same way. I battle the same way others and you do. Also and really hope your life can turn out to be perfect. I can relate to having full years of my life being stolen.

[@reyna9873]

@@プレイボイカルティ tnks a lot really. i hadnt been diagnosed as a sociopath and a few days after posting this comment i started to finally accepted that i was one and stopped clogging my thoughts. i could feel certain things in this span of time and one day, finally, i cried out to my sis about how i remember my mother loving me dearly and how i used to look at her like she was an angel when i was under 4 years old and everything changed ever since and i completely forgot there existed a time like this. i cried so much about this and i actually felt like myself for sometime and i came out of the sociopath dilemmna. it is true that i tasted a bit of sociopathy but ive learnt to accept myself and the fact that my life was once indeed beautiful and that child-self of mine still remains. now i feel a 100 times better and ive come to accept myself. im able to finally see how everyone around me has loved and cared for me. my gf now seems a little confused and says that she feels like being in this relationship doesnt seem right , but im trying to provide the support we both need and hope that things will be alright soon. unfortunately, many dont get to realise this cause their life has truly been horrible , and like said in this video, it is possible to become themselves again once if they open up. all sociopaths are humans. everybody is a human being and they all deserve love. cruelty and judgement towards a sociopath only makes them grow worse. i was able to experience so much and come back to my senses because of my loving girlfriend, who cared for me, accepted me and saw me for who i was. it made me make an attempt to become better. i hope you too can get a happy wonderful life where you love and accept yourself. its never ever too late for anything. have faith in the humanity in you and love your vulnerabilities. one day, you can be complete and find love and happiness.

[@プレイボイカルティ]

@@reyna9873 about accepting yourself I have experiences of where I’ve healed. I believe you can grow out of yourself and the therapy is true. I’ve had times weeks and months where I’ve felt like myself but I’ve regressed to something egomaniacal. You can accept yourself. But you can also heal. I know it for a fact I know if you go to a therapist now you’ll be able to find yourself seeing results.

[@Someone-id3qx]

Read 2 of your books... excellent!.....I ordered TRAUMA TO ENLIGHTENING and looking forward to it, thank you again, Frank

[@JD-qy9nf]

I grew up in terror and abuse. To survive, you learn to shut down. If you don't feel, it doesn't hurt. Sadly, you need to feel to heal. Getting in touch with my emotions almost killed me. I had panic attacks and deep depression. Fortunately, I had a loving man in my life who stood by me as I healed. I can now relate better to people and I'm no longer shut down. Sometimes, I don't know what I'm feeling, but I have the strength and courage to feel and I no longer feel like jumping out of my skin or lashing out verbally at others. It will be a lifetime process for me, but I'm committed to doing the work. Love can heal. There is hope

[@cazhickling8151]

Great to come across your channel, the treatment out there for MPD, is few and far between. I truly believe CBT, spirituality Faith is the key👍

[@christinebadostain6887]

Thanks Daniel. Yeah! Authentic insight can heal "evil."

[@sofiasonia8095]

I totally agree with you that all sociopaths can heal. If they haven't is because no one has ever really tried to help them. It was so inhuman when I first Time listen to a psychiatrist said that once a problem always a problem.

[@1life744]

Great insightful comment

[@jnewmark41]

Please show me the scientific studies or journal articles showing which techniques helped to "change" true sociopathy....I am unaware of any such studies or techniques.

[@sofiasonia8095]

@@jnewmark41 If I don't have to show you these scientific studies does this mean that the sociopaths cant heal? I don't really understand the meaning of the question. Healing is not a science and all the dysfunction of the soul or the mind whatever you prefer is not science. Although you can read the story of Laura Delano a girl who was taking drugs from the age of 14 till 27 diagnosed with schizophrenia and now is fully cured by herself. All our insight problems that lead to various symptoms have to do with the ability to embrace ourselves and accept our inner position.

[@sapphasea]

@@jnewmark41 Schema Focused Therapy, Transference Focused Psychotherapy, Metacognitive Interpersonal Therapy, Clarification Oriented Psychotherapy, are the four major modalities presently in use that I know of that treat *to heal* BPD and NPD. Schema is now being used for psychopathy (ASPD present with NPD or BPD or both or others). I would start with the research involving those. There may very well be many lesser well-known other therapeutic approaches and offshoots. I think Elinor uses her own brand of gestalt for NPD and she writes profusely about her work. There are a couple of different programs available exclusively for individuals in the forensic setting. I.e. this pilot program called Decompression Therapy, for juveniles, and I came across another something called 'Risk-Need-Responsivity' earlier today. The Google Machine is free to all, but it's pretty useless if you're biased to the point that you're unmotivated to be educated and demand that blithely optimistic but unsuspecting strangers on the internet to do it for you. Like if they 'don't' go out of their way to become An Expert, Right Then and There, it means your opinion is surely the only one that can be right. :p Peruse the academic papers yourself. There's so many of them, it can be overwhelming to dive into. Review the studies. Read the textbooks. They're out there. New stuff being published all the time. Kernberg has contributed extensively to what level of malignant narcissism they've found to respond to treatment and recover. Diana Diamond and co. has a much-anticipated professional manual on treating NPD coming out this summer. Presently I've been most intrigued by Bernstein's projects in The Netherlands because he and his colleagues are taking on the "worst of the worst". In my research, I started with looking at stuff on NPD exclusively, gradually moved into ASPD, and am now into psychopathy and 'sociopathy'. But perhaps, for whatever reason, you, *personally*, desire to believe that a significant grouping of people are just "bad seeds" or SOL in terms of ever getting better. Maybe life just seems to make more sense when there is an Us, and a Them.

[@АндрейФирсов-й9з]

@@jnewmark41 here is your google recipe: "treating untreatable psychopathy"

[@MrAubz1]

Big trauma happened in adulthood. Before then I taught art / music to people with handicaps. It helps when your partner frequently attempts suicide. I wrote to a friend how it didn't even make my heart rate increase. The calus feeling of indifference is the only symptom. I'm not a law breaker or abuser. It's great to hear it can be overcome though.

[@msflyingfree7]

Self reflection with great tools/CBT/etc that are actually being applied with the help of a good therapist/coach when needed

[@Happyfoam-lw3yt]

With the mountains of videos essentially saying someone like me is unworthy of love because I don't know how, this one video makes me feel both vindicated and filled with anger. I'm so full of distrust that I cannot distinguish if this man is lying to me or not. Like he's trying to catch me for a purge. I want to be fixed, I WANT to be normal. My compulsion to be better than those around me compels me to purge myself of this disorder. How fucked up is that?

[@nowitsclear]

I guess they were also willing to challenge themselves since they came to therapy.

[@rightnow5839]

👍🏻 Hi , I couldn’t help but come back to this and comment again. Even for people that WANT to heal, ( antisocial or not) the health system in my opinion isn’t set up for it. Every person needs someone who loves them, if it isn’t a parent then someone else. In my view that is the core of what’s wrong on a big scale. People can heal by talking to a good friend same as talking to a therapist I believe you talked about that on another video. Your videos are a part of solution. At least here and chase else like it people can hear good Info. Your awesome Daniel, 💗

[@alledzebu1975]

Please forgive my skepticism, but aren't sociopaths and psychopaths masterclass deceivers? How were you completely sure they didn't just faked everything? EDIT: corrected grammar in skepticism...

[@jnewmark41]

alled zebu excellent point

[@dmackler58]

hi alled zebu -- yes, I would say that lots of people who end up labeled as sociopaths are good at deceiving, and time has shown me that I've been deceived a lot, especially when there is incentive for them to deceive me as clients, for instance, to get on disability and things like that. but there are other situations when there's not as much (or very little) incentive for people to deceive me, that is, that they don't have much to get out of deceiving me. and then I've seen people be very honest -- especially when I get to know such people over time and a relationship of trust is established. and I've also heard it said that sometimes therapists are the easiest people to deceive, because we so often want to see the good in our clients. but sometimes that search to look for the good in others can turn up a kernel of real good in people that no one had ever seen before -- and sometimes that people themselves didn't even know they had in them, and that can be the start of a new life, of grieving, of a new perspective on oneself. that is, even people who come in with a deceptive attitude can be surprised by a loving, insightful person who is actually doing what a therapist is supposed to do, and take the side of their wounded child in spite of all the largely bad qualities they demonstrate... all the best, Daniel

[@matilda4406]

@Sarah Min totally agree, it's environmental abuse that initiates continuing harm and sadness. And as such, it CAN be healed, if only they want to.

[@auroraborealis6398]

@Sarah Min 100% agree with you the environnement is shaping the individual. That being said, I personnaly believe that the damage done at a certain age is shaping the brain to work in a certain way. I don't say that every sociopath cannot make progress, but I don't believe they can feel the same empathy as a person who doesn't have that disorder.

[@xenosuki]

@@dmackler58 They have an incentive for deceiving you, they thrive on deceiving people.

[@HighSpeedNoDrag]

In life, it is imperative to recognize when the Good OUTWEIGHS the Bad. Knowing that, one can forge the path to recovery and achieve Behavioral Success. Excellent personal testimony, Thanks So Much.

[@dirkdunkhase1129]

I find your professional observations very interesting. But one should keep in mind that you only spoke with people who somehow ended up in your room. Out of personal experience I believe there are many cases with severe problems, ugly childhood issues, but not interested in Psychology or trusting enough to go and get help. And that is a problem and a risc remaining. I do agree that it is worth helping people who somehow opened up a bit.

[@andrewcastaneda301]

This video is helping me advocate for individuals that struggle to love themselves

[@tomRstincts]

In a world where sociopaths are often romanticized, vilified and misunderstood this is a beautiful and refreshing view on this. What you are saying really makes sense and inspires a sense of hope for humanity.

[@marcusaydelott]

Thank you. I want to heal. This gives me hope

[@Tailionis]

Thanks man. I appreciate you. Everyone treats us like trash and yah I get outbursts and want to do really bad things to them but they deserve it. But also I dont want to hurt the good people. I have healed myself and used my low empathy and understanding to do the right things (when I can consciously think about it)

[@turquoiseafro1520]

I am glad you are getting insight and self awareness. At the very least, compassion for yourself for your childhood suffering starts the process of reflection & compassion which can in time be extended to others. Also, good people make mistakes so the logic of only attacking bad people and not good people doesn't follow. Example: you make a mistake and you are experienced as a bad person for whoever experiences you in that moment so do you deserve to be attacked? Empathy comes from reflecting if you want to be treated the same way you treat others. Learning to be more self aware and responding and not reacting unconsciously and reflexively according to one's degree of unconsciousness/splitting/compartmentalization resulting from the severity of one's trauma and conditioning. This is a skill that is developed for growth.

[@rennee_esso5160]

Such an insightful video. Thank you.

[@RiMarBrown]

I went through cognitive behavioral therapy for a year inpatient. Took my therapist a few months to settle on ASPD and a couple more to convince me since it says I am incapable of many things it says I am not capable of so he showed me how unscientific Robert Hare and most of psychology that isn’t based on neuroscience really is-- he never convinced me it’s a disorder and gave up trying to argue when I told him “I am not disordered, emotion is the antithesis of reason, a drug that should be rarely indulged because it is more addictive and destructive than cocaine.” I still maintain this- I just admit that emotions do have a purpose & shouldn’t be entirely dismissed. And I will never fail to hear “suffer from aspd” in regard to my diagnosis because I don’t “suffer” from anything but boredom and exasperation. Other people may suffer because I have aspd- but I am not responsible for them so it’s rather a nil point to try to convince me I should feel bad for them when I will have shown them before I harm them how and why I will do a thing before doing so which somehow doesn’t matter to therapists. I wasn’t abused. I did spend a lot of time alone but that was largely a choice- I was taught to be self sufficient and prefer to figure things out if I can instead of asking & other kids always wanted to tell on each other so I ran around outside and only interacted with my parent when I couldn’t figure something out on my own. Morals and ethics are usually derived from direct social norms for neurotypical people. Ours are self derived and determined. This means that we may agree on some moral points- such as that we likely both agree that those who abuse children should be given to people like me since the justice system is a failure and we would make sure they never abuse anyone again. But you probably claim to value life of humans in general while I only value the life of myself and the people I’ve chosen to invest a part of myself in or who provide the social structure needed for creature comforts I don’t have to produce my self- and I contend that most don’t care about life as they choose they just want to care then act in contrary fashion most of the time. We both likely think that long term decisions or laws shouldn’t be made based on emotional responses let alone in the heat of the moment yet I am called mentally unwell because I live this as a truth. I don’t trust other humans to tell me what is right because I’ve met few who are capable of objective rational reflection and planning - I am not motivated long term by emotion, I just follow emotive whim of the moment until something comes up that requires me to give thought to what is happening. We are an incredibly capable and adaptive species, apex predators of the persistence type. Why do so many of you behave as, what I used to call, “prey things?” It doesn’t matter why, I guess- preying on people who can’t fight back even when told how to do so lost entertainment value more than a decade ago

[@gallectee6032]

I've heard sociopaths will only get better at deception with therapy.

[@dmackler58]

This may be true for some, but it has not always been my experience. Everyone is human, ultimately, and even people labeled "sociopath" have situations in which they need human connection, and sometimes that connection (and resulting growth) can happen in therapy... all the best, Daniel

[@gallectee6032]

@@dmackler58 Are there any studies on this?

[@dmackler58]

@@gallectee6032 I haven't seen any. But they may be out there.

[@gallectee6032]

@@dmackler58 Alright. Thank you for your videos.

[@zoobledooble7748]

@@dmackler58 if i know when a therapist is testing me does that mean theres something wrong with me, because surely i shouldnt know they are doing this, i dont understand how i know, i just do. Should i tell the therapist i know? It puts me off because i feel its abit manipulating and the reason i go to therapy is because of manipulating people in my life. It puts me off even though i know they have to do that as part of the therapists job to help with getting diagnosis.

[@rebekah613]

I believe people can change too

[@lunaray5259]

Finally someone who speaks both sides I'm a narcissist sociopath and I'm 24 and this is what I needed to see

[@Joceus127]

Dude your amazing thank you so much for this video

[@samwallaceart288]

I feel like there's two aspects to this. I think there is something that's passed down from the parents; even if that something is as simple as being brain structure or whatever, there are going to be stamps of the parents' brain on the child even if separated at birth. Heard stories along those lines of people separated or switched at birth where others even not knowing could tell that the kid acted and thought differently. That said, I do not for one second think that we can blame the actions of the person on genetics, not at all. I think what it is is that the genetics are the starting point, the seed, but what parts of that seed manifest are entirely determined by nurture and personal will. In the case of my family, me and my father's bloodline have problems with empathy; a lot of this is my childhood and bad habits, but I can't shake the feeling that even when I am fully healed and completely reformed, I will always be at a 10% disadvantage when it comes to interest in others. I think my point here is, people are born with shit all the time, and it's up to the people around them to nurture the kid to manifest the best version of their starting personality. I know when my youngest brother was born, he was already different from the rest of the family; his mind has traits of aspergers and autism; I will never blame him for that, but I do know that he is fully capable of being open with people and enjoying life in his own way, even if the way he does it isn't the way I would; my goal will never be to "cure my brother's autism" because that's an integral part of how he thinks; rather, my goal is to let him know that autistic minds are capable of leading happy productive lives in ways that neurotypicals would never think of. I hold him responsible for what he does, but not for how he does it; he isn't built the same way I am, nor should he be. But to say that it's all 100% nurture just feels over simplified. There are some things that are simply a part of us just as much as an unusually sized limb or a birth mark. The trait of the person isn't the issue; the issue is how the person, and the people around them, react to the trait. In that regard, I generally agree with Daniel Mackler's attitude; but it's not like Down Syndrome comes from a stressful pregnancy alone; nor is Down Syndrome a "reversible problem" that needs to be "fixed". I suspect that most disorders become extreme as a symptom of trauma; but reversing the disorder shouldn't become the goal; the goal should be reversing the trauma so that the person can live their life even if they have an in-built trait.

[@caramelali8132]

Their has been research of vaccines causing developmental problems in new borns..from the parents getting early vaccines. I could link some of this stuff but I have to find it again

[@guesswho5790]

Spot on. I have always been overly sensitive for this world and resulted in developing BPD. After treatment, I feel like I can manage it and live my life more calmly, but sometimes... It flares up. But I always choose to act in a healthier way. Once the trauma is processed it's easier to choose how we act, rather than letting a personality disorder define our lives.

[@aie_aie_]

Regarding the fact that all sociopaths were victims of terrible abuse as children, I confirm that this is the case for all those I have met. But regarding their ability to change, I am more sceptical. Let me explain. I had the opportunity to analyse in his daily life a sociopath who had been in therapy for 20 years (at the rate of 3 to 5 times a week!) and questioned himself a lot about his childhood. Being aware of the abuse and having a deep knowledge of psychology ...did not prevent him from abusing others (rape, incest, scams, murder by forced suicide,...). And why? For 3 reasons: 1/ abuse is such an easy way to get what you want! 2/ it had become a habit, it was all he knew! 3/ society in general supported him in his way of acting, and his friends in particular idolised him, feeding his sick ego. These three aspects locked him in. Underneath his air of having worked a lot on himself, in fact, deep down, inside, he always came back to the starting point. He found far too many advantages there. And I even had confirmation of this observation from one of his oldest friends who confirmed that his 20 years in therapy had finally made him more brittle, more bitter, more predatory. The psychiatrist Racamier had said it: if a pervert (French name for sociopath or narcissist) goes to the couch, it is ... to become worse. So I conclude that knowledge and awareness of one's own history is a step, but it is not automatically linked to an internal motivation to change, to be better, to connect, to find satisfaction in another way than by ripping people off, cheating, dominating, lying, raping, etc. He had found therapy to be pitied, to pity himself and to tell himself that he was an intellectual and a brave person, and he could cry, etc., but everything served to harden him, to confirm him in his delusional ego. Even the fact that he dared to cry and find his emotions ... he linked it to a "superiority" that he had and not others. See how complex it is? On the other hand, shrinks should be very wary of sociopaths who come to them for advice. The one I was able to analyse closely used these sessions to "show off". It was his moment of intellectual self-aggrandisement, with a silent shrink to listen and (according to him) admire him. It didn't make him more empathetic, it reinforced his impression that he could play others, tell them his version of events, deceive an analyst, put himself under his pseudo-paternal influence, etc. I knew that: His shrink was convinced that he had done a good job with him. No. Without being in the daily life of a narcissist, one has no idea whether what he says is genuine or a manoeuvre. Moreover, shortly before I started to run away from him (the sociopath) because my discoveries about him were putting me in danger, he started to talk to me about ...the fact that he felt ready to set up as a psychoanalyst and to receive patients! 🤢🤢🤢 I must add that, on the other hand, this dangerous guy let me escape alive... was it because he had some empathy? (Or because he underestimated me? Or because I had lost interest in his eyes? Or because he was afraid of sanctions?) I'll never know.

[@JazzyJ96771]

I think people forget that psychopathy is incurable, but sociopathy is something that is developed after birth and doesn't take place before your first breath, but after, as a result of how you've been raised, treated, whether or not you've experienced abuse, your environment and a whole plethora of other factors.

[@earthisms]

Thank you for this. I’m psychopathic and all I want is to be normal and happy. I thought I was hopeless. But I think as long as we can learn to do the right things for the right reasons, maybe we can live normal lives.

[@frostyalaska6371]

This gave me some hope thank you

[@elizabethbryan8593]

So few people in this boat will make meaningful change! In fact, I believe it is something like less than 1%. This video needs more transparency about the realistic outcomes for spouses, friends, and family. This video is also something people will try to use to gain more leverage for manipulation of others. If they were born or raised- they are what they are and it won’t change.