SOFT POWER: 7 Feminine Ways to Stop Trying to Be TOUGH!

[@denishagarcia8930]

One thing I always admire about your channel and that I believe sets you apart from the other “femininity” channels is that you are not about quick fixes and one size fits all advice. You always encourage getting to the root and the mindset which is what is truly important.

[@Ashley21138]

Yes, beyond being pretty and not a mean girl underneath

[@________1516]

I was thinking about this the other day! I couldn’t agree more.

[@drlatashaclay]

Good morning, Chloe! I am a licensed psychotherapist and I couldn't agree with you more. Unhealed trauma and psychological issues can manifest into physical problems, which is why our population experiences so many serious health conditions. Mental health is equally as important as physical health. As Black women, we are often taught to be strong and to internalize our feelings and emotions. Self-care is one of the most important things we can do to combat these issues in order to live our best feminine lives! Love yourself enough to heal yourself. Then and only then will you attract what you desire. Thank you for releasing this message. Happy Sunday!🤗 💕

[@Amora_Shalom]

Chloe I must say! You are a break through sent from the Creator for black women. He will bless you for this. I’ve been watching your videos consistently for about two years. I had to do alot of soul searching on my own end and it has been amazing. I have even let go of a marriage that was tearing me down to the core. Thank you from the bottom of my heart❤🥹.

[@Judah2019]

❤❤

[@tyelove4399]

Well said! ❤️

[@marsham8902]

Stay blessed and happy

[@r0guedoll]

Seriously wishing you well, Imijah 💓

[@miaduana]

This is why I don't allow my masculina family members to gaslight me out of expressing myself with grief and depression. They love to spiritually bypass and rage on others instead of facing their vulnerability fears so they can heal. The irony is they are hyper fixated on their looks and being acceptable superficially.

[@Latrise]

I stay being gaslighted by my family especially my sister about my grief and depression as well. I'm in pain and they tell me I'm causing my own depression. It's just sad and I can't process my anxiety and depression without people telling me to be strong and I see a therapist. It's just so hard for me.

[@miaduana]

@@Latrise so sorry about that, hope it gets better soon.

[@Latrise]

@@miaduana me too. thank you so much what you wrote really touched me.

[@No1superjuicey]

Give yourself permission to cry. Our tears are a gift so we can proceeds and relief not repress and hide... It lets the body know BEAUTIFULLY said

[@KennedyForever1294]

Journaling helps and does wonders. You can fill it with all your secrets and no one ever will know

[@taylorspastpresent1014]

The beauty queen Miss USA who committed suicide hurt me. It was so painful to witness. Prayer, Therapy, Self awareness, Grace and Selfcare!

[@beyond_insight164]

Its weird how happy i was when this popped up...

[@tamaramcrae4037]

I RAN for my headphones to listen while I am at work lol

[@enhle2333]

Same

[@SharonDuba]

Same Same

[@ratedr9672]

The message is timely.

[@mae1062]

Met two guys who are very bitter and I'm glad I run before I caught any feelings....

[@curtistinemiller4646]

Being able to be your true self is one of the strongest components of good mental health ....✨✨

[@HandmaidenOfDistinction66854]

I agree, however many will first need to identify who they are as a person in order to evolve to that level. Unfortunately individual's identities (likes/dislikes, etc.) are a result of who society, social media, their peers/family/community or significant other, etc. says that they are.

[@tresboujay]

Right on time confirmation. I just had to cut off a family member who told me she wasn’t going to coddle me as I grieved the end my 29 year marriage. Told me I didn’t care about my grown son when I told her my focus for the first time in more than 40 years was on me, my mental and physical health. With family like her I really don’t need enemies. You are so right about what I like to call the 15 minute nervous breakdown. It’s been my saving grace and even my children know to use it when necessary.

[@msdee2905]

You have a right to grieve your 29 year marriage. I’m grieving my marriage issues too.

[@felicerobinson]

5 yrs in Adult Children of Alcoholics helped me to process unhealed grief. Its free to all and I highly recommend. Best wishes to all on the path.

[@bernadettelangamu9296]

I'm here, only 19 years old and I needed this 🥺🤧

[@Rain_B_official_]

Our tears have a chemical/hormone that relieves pain. CRY!

[@skn8053]

When you said grief can also be abandonment and loneliness. I felt that. That is me. That is who I became, with such deep rooted issues and so defensive and so angry at people who hurt me and the world. II was wondering a few minutes ago how I can exude more feminine energy has I've worked on the physical but now I want to clean the inside too. I am so happy I have started therapy and I am so happy with the progress I've made.

[@try8042]

Literally cried Friday night, went to bed early, woke up on Saturday feeling much better.

[@inanewyorkminutechannel]

The part about femininity being more than your outward appearance is such an important point because in today’s social media(superficial) driven society..I think this is a point many miss. When you have several black beauty queens commit suicide and I see people commenting equating beauty to happiness, not understanding that mental health problems don’t discriminate, it is clear they have missed the point. Also, I would say so often the tough black woman narrative completely negates those who are “nice girls” and tend to hold in things in as well. Don’t let others dump their karmic junk on you, it’s ok to speak up for yourself.

[@Datb2]

im stuck in my misery & trauma but all the people sround me that i want to turn to incliding my so called friends are narcicists/bullies. cant get therapy either but i do journal daily

[@Prayforyourself39612]

Chloe is preaching this Sunday morning which happens to be the 4 year anniversary of my Grandmother's death and my father's birthday with whom there isn't a relationship between he and I. I am currently in therapy dealing with all the points Chloe shared. Thank you for being brave to speak on topics our community rarely speaks/deal with. The expression, "Get over it or We all been through that" is no longer a solution; we have to get to the root cause to change generations to come.

[@PineapplesCoconut]

Sorry about your grandmother. Sending prayers and condolences to your family 💐 .

[@thegrace-basedstudent5701]

Beautifully-stated sis. Praying for wholeness for you.

[@Prayforyourself39612]

@@thegrace-basedstudent5701 Thank you much

[@Prayforyourself39612]

@@PineapplesCoconut Thank you much

[@PrettyPrincess9609]

I had to learn to prioritize my mental and physical health the hard way when I ended up in the hospital due to chest pains I got from stress from my job and my toxic family. Now I take breaks, use my PTO, use one day for relaxing and one day for cleaning my entire apartment, and I cut off my toxic family. I also take medication after I was diagnosed with anxiety panic disorder and depression.

[@Mia-ip8bh]

Very good for you!!! Pharmaceutical medicine isn’t good for your body in the long run though..maybe a natural way to combat anxiety is best. Cheers to your healing and healed self!

[@betty5449]

Quit that job asap!! Your mental and physical health are way too important 💐💚

[@pianotnt]

I had to do some healing because the last four years losing siblings almost lost the one sibling I had left from both a heart attack and stroke I had to make sure I was healed before i do any dating or anything else

[@Chevonne8]

Emotional numbness is real! Thank you for speaking on this!!!

[@islandgirl8067]

As someone who had unprocessed grief and anger, I can tell you these are great tips to heal and preserve your mental & spiritual health. Therapy was the best thing I ever did. It was also therapeutic to write things down and have a good cry occasionally. Holding on to anger poisons you from the inside & turns you into a "negative Nancy."

[@munequa81]

The best decision I made was invest into my mental health and education. Delaying your healing only keeps you in a prison of your own making.

[@smustipher]

We were not allowed to cry as children. Before seeking therapy and healing, I was numb and umable to connect emotionally to an intimate partner, and got rejected more times than I care to count. Now, I am in a differnt place and yes, I can cry easily and feel the release that comes along with it.

[@jetradaniels9528]

The part about crying struck a nerve. I had a GOOD, HOT tears cry recently. I hadn't had one in Lord knows how long. I didn't even know I needed it, but once the tears began to flow, I couldn't stop them. I felt so much lighter afterwards. 💜

[@CiaobellaAmour]

I've been traveling abroad since Jan of this year to assist with my mental help. It all began with hear break alongside me finally taking that leap of faith & exploring the world outside the U.S & it certainly helps. Planning my 4th trip(god willing) for my bday( Dec)

[@CiaobellaAmour]

When you said "feel disconnected from her body"! Oh I so felt that! Like I'm just floating @ times, despite being @ work,things happening around me or being surrounded by people. A word!

[@Karynwashere]

I also think we need to add when going through grief we need to find support from understanding and empathetic people. A lot of times we have been invalidated of our sadness so we hold things internally and feel isolated.

[@Nisha_Nykelle]

Thank God you said “Go to therapy!” So many black Women want to skip this step but it can not be skipped even being the best Christian and believer in God doesn’t give you the pass to skip therapy.

[@shariahp3321]

so true!

[@flofelecializaliza5237]

This what I needed to hear today and it's right on time. Chloe, you may not know this but you are out here changing lives and saving BW from wasting time, money, and putting up with unnecessary drama. Thank you Chloe ❤️. I'm sharing your channel with my little niece and her friends.

[@TheNewFeminine]

❤

[@nashelle8359]

Thank you Chloe! I’ve been sharing this with women I know. As we learn we MUST pour into women for them to know that we don’t have to live a hardened life spiritually, emotional, physically or mentally! I pray we begin to embrace whom we were created to be in our bare essence for transformational impact for generations to come ❤️🙏🏽

[@oohno1000]

I am a wife and mother loved and blessed by my family ❤🎉

[@amberparedes875]

❤️❤️❤️

[@defwajen]

And give yourself a few minutes to laugh! It sounds counterintuitive to the grieving process (and some may think it's inappropriate), but laughing reminds your mind and body that there is hope. 💕

[@SheenaMarie05]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it AGAIN, Chloe I thank you for sharing your thoughts, transparency, and teaching us (especially black women) how to truly heal inside out! I shared this video with LITERALLY 12 women for every minute I gained knowledge regarding mental health and healing. I’m truly grateful that my baby sister lead me to your channel a couple years ago. Blessings 🫶🏽

[@crystaljones3737]

❤

[@crystaljones3737]

Hey Sis hey 👋🏾

[@SheenaMarie05]

@@crystaljones3737 👋🏽♥️

[@TheNewFeminine]

❤

[@KeenyaTheStylist]

And just like that, another BRILLIANT video! I hope you ladies can find the Best therapist you need to process [whatever type] grief in your precious and beautiful life. 💄🐷

[@vilifewithkelli6642]

Happy happy happy birthday!!!!! It’s a Virgo takeover! It’s Virgo season! Last days of summer enjoy enjoy enjoy hugs and kisses from your Virgo sister always enjoy and love your videos definitely sharing because I am caring about us all blessings❤️🥰💕😎

[@nieceylanair65]

As a person who attended therapy for over a year, I can agree that it is helpful and should be a priority for self care. Therapy can help you gain self-awareness, enhance your self-esteem and so on. It is definitely worth the investment.

[@DN-wy3ud]

I think heavy lifting/ intense workouts are also problematic when getting away from masculinity ( bad for hormones 2). Walking and relaxing exercises like pilates/barre are effective AND relaxing.

[@Erica-en2qz]

This topic is so on time for me. Saturday was the 27th anniversary of my mother's untimely death from cancer. Grief (for a number of reasons) has driven my life for so long, and it's past time to work through all of it. Thank you. I'm gonna watch this again and take notes to talk about with my therapist. If I could like this a thousand times, I would.

[@SashaFiercer]

Chloe, thank you for being an influencer that encourages sense and growth. You are so needed and I have certainly learnt a lot from this channel. It’s refreshing to watch your videos, particularly when there’s an ocean of nonsense out here! Your videos encouraged me to take control of my life and get rid of the dead weight. I’m in therapy healing, and am putting myself first for once. Thank you. Thank you.

[@TheNewFeminine]

❤

[@BarbieDawl.__]

I’m focused on school and my money my health(mental too) etc, one thing I’ve noticed men will look for those women who have it all together so ladies Vet I love this channel ✅ One thing you can do is you have a job to get insurance through them take care of your health find a therapist to talk to ladies. Practice self care for you not to get a man some of these men don’t even have a PCP😂 black women especially let’s heal

[@TiondaRae]

The last sentence tho 💯💯💯

[@toobute3141]

Yes

[@aissamazou4063]

This video is a gem! Womanhood is an art, thank you Chloe

[@Acosya2]

You dropped some serious knowledge here!!!

[@oohno1000]

Blessings to the most high and I am thankful for your love and joy

[@tamaramcrae4037]

Oh shoot my morning gospel is on!!! I write in my journal to vent, my current situation I was ironically thinking of talking to a professional about it but sadly it’s going to be hard for someone to believe me and not give me medicine or lock me up for talking about what I’ve been through. The issue with my situation if you didn’t experience it, it will be hard to believe and this is the frustration part. All in due time I suppose. #2 especially and #1 I need to work on

[@lifewithangelina92]

Please seek a professional… I think most of them have seen and heard it all. Just try and see you’ll never know who will understand & believe you.

[@tamaramcrae4037]

@@lifewithangelina92 I will look around after I finish this last thing I have to do. Thank you 💖

[@Amy-wo1sr]

If you can try to find a local church with therapeutic services

[@Kishabeautifys]

This video is on replay, took the words right out of my mouth❤️‍🔥

[@user-fn6vm5tb8p]

Love the instrumental track of ‘Mainstream’ by OutKast in the outro ❤️. OutKast have so many messages about self-motivation, processing grief, accountability, growth and transformation.

[@oohno1000]

Love and joy peace to the most high ❤🎉

[@tarao4382]

I am constantly looking within myself, game changer. Thank you for this awesome reminder. 🥰

[@Ella-tf8yv]

Love your videos on this topic Chloe! It’s so important. Keep them coming.

[@ChiChe555]

I absolutely love it here!!!

[@simplyjean9188]

Therapy is so helpful. It took me a while to find a therapist I could connect with but once I did whew..I told my friends/family to find a therapist. Thanks Chloe

[@oohno1000]

Love love and peace ☮️ everything is working out for me ! ❤🎉

[@anmorgan3129]

All I can say about this video is *THANK YOU CHLOE 🙏🏾❤* You are a treasure, a gem 😘 and YOU ARE APPRECIATED 💐

[@BlessedAngel07]

This whole vid is needed on this Sunday! Also there’s something refreshing about the music and images at the end. Such a great way to summarize and end the video!

[@kanika2861]

Such an important topic! We needed this Chloe.

[@neriahwilliams6906]

Every Sunday feels like brunch with you ladies ❤ Thank you Chloe for another great one.

[@monikawest1082]

Great video...Chloe just hit us with a feminine 🌊 of deep healing💅💋🔥🔥🔥

[@princessseries2670]

I am so very glad I stumbled up on your channel about a year ago now. I have learned so much from your wisdom, things that I was never thought by my family growing up, and for that I thank you 🙏🏾❤

[@TheNewFeminine]

❤

[@biancabullock1]

You are a great mentor !

[@uzougwu1511]

Thank you for this❤️. I want to move on but i'm scared for some weird reason.

[@RecycledEve]

Thank you chloe on this one...rare gem💎

[@HigherEdBarbie]

Thank you Chloe. This was absolutely needed today. It was literally right on time. Thank you for what you do.

[@eniolaawe2417]

Chloe. God bless you for this. You are God send to us. Thank you. Listening to this video put tears in my eyes.so many black women with unhealed traumas myself included. I come to a realization that you have to start to think of yourself and your wellness first.

[@dabrenajohnson5142]

Close dear, this is a much needed talk. I wish you could do a series on this very topic. I feel like it’s a deep topic and there’s so much that can be unpacked. Thank you for bringing this to us. It’s much appreciated.

[@melissamitchell812]

Thank you Chole, in this good vibes only Instagram filter culture...a conversation we as women need to have. Cheers and and blessings 💕

[@Geneicee8697]

I love this platform so much, I had to share! Chloe thank you for your wisdom us black women need it and appreciate you. #RoadToSoftLife

[@halcyondays8945]

Thank you so much, wise woman. As usual you have given me lots to think about! Bless ❤

[@naaabbey]

Thanks!

[@Luuve]

This was beautifully stated! You are a gift. Thank you!

[@TheNewFeminine]

Thank you.❤

[@Mrs_CandacePolite]

Thank you, Chloe 🌹

[@Clauds71]

Thanks Chloe_ 😍ladies give up those burdens and prosper 😊

[@thetonishow]

This video was right on time! Thank you always Chloe for your wisdom and insight ❤

[@theraeexperience3756]

Right on time.

[@MariahLovemore]

I could cry for those babies, oh my God!😩

[@TheNewFeminine]

SAME!

[@BlessedBeautyMimi]

Much needed message! Right on time 🙌🏽✨

[@rainerwells1573]

Eerie how on time this is

[@eleven.22_erica]

Thank you !! 💖

[@Danceofthesugarplumfairy]

Thank you 🙏🏾

[@deekydan]

Needed this.

[@Hintedbymarina]

I just love your videos so much!

[@FashAveGirl]

Oohhhh A Word!!!!

[@catherinesowers4615]

Thank you....❤️

[@fatimacisse9751]

Hi Chloe_! its my birthday 😊 p.s. I love your channel❤

[@martikabraidbar394]

Chloe what do you do when your actively working towards being a hyper famous black woman and you begin the shine yet your around other wounded black women however they see your admirable qualities and realize they can’t be you since they haven’t done the inner work or exposed themselves to therapy. So then they behave cruel. How do you carry on when it’s a pattern and you can’t necessarily avoid it because you are a black woman of confidence (Representation) and those wounded become like moths to a flame towards you even when you ignore it and continue to carry on but the just become more cruel to rattle you?

[@TheNewFeminine]

I made three videos on how to handle jealousy. Please check them out.💄

[@alicemathangani2422]

Chloe_ thank you

[@ronilevy417]

❤❤

[@lydiad9036]

This is beyond heartbreaking, it’s too much to bear, those poor little children. When has it ever made more sense to kill your own children rather that put them up for adoption or in foster care. May their little souls rest in peace with the Lord😢.

[@athenaquispe]

💖

[@freemindds355]

🌹

[@NYse821]

💚

[@lifeisablessing247]

❤️

[@reckymila]

💕💕💕

[@TryfifiiKalii]

:)

[@AuthorAngieDeLisi]

Women with trauma

[@trapnurselife]

I love me some you Chloe you’re on point once again