Solo Roleplaying: Embrace Your Inner Shadow

[@greycloak3370]

That's an insane depth of conversation, came for dice rolling, stayed for Carl Jung. You are creating a very sensitive and helpful environment, telling this. And I share your global scale view on the situation, the whole media stuff. People really stay away from themselves, often not because they are bored alone, but the fear of the inner one. Stay strong, all of you!

[@dirkvoltaar]

Jung + Solo Roleplaying = the combination of topics we were wholly unaware we needed.

[@1nfty-]

My guy, you have a true talent for explaining and teaching stuff

[@amanisalone]

Thank you, I had many great teachers

[@njh113]

This is incredibly deep and well-worth the listen. Thank you for this video.

[@ianbartoschwize6781]

I started playing D&D at the start of my recovery from alcoholism. Still going strong after 2 and a half years. Mad props to you, Man.

[@Nightfire99201]

Thank you for making this. I made a major break though in myself when dealing with my own shadow. When I was in 2nd grade I had a argument with my mom about me wearing a skirt I wanted to wear. I was a simple plaid skirt that went past my knees. Nothing controversial for a 9 year old, but my mom didn't want me to wear it. Later on that day I got called to the principle's office to only have someone from CPS take me to a very abusive foster home for a week before going to live with my grandparents for the summer and then going to another foster home from the end of August to Jan 1st with a foster mother with undiagnosed schizophrenia. Not fun, but what really put my shadow in the closet to fester is when later on that next spring my mother came to me, sat me down and blamed me for CPS being called. I was being bullied at school and beat up by the kids at school and the neighborhood kids in the apartment complex I lived in before being taking away from my parents by CPS, and it took CPS a few months to realize that my parents were innocent in order to get me back, but still my own mother blamed me for being beat up by my bullies and school and in the neighborhood. And she blamed me for choosing that plaid skirt for it all. Translation my shadow of being independent and liking what I liked and doing things I wanted to do were bad and would cause me to go to hell if I didn't do what others wanted me to do. My mother made me to be a floor mat for people to abuse mentality and emotionally take advantage of while me feeling any form of guilt if I wanted to speak up for myself, give my own opinions or do things I wanted to do. Now thanks to you, I started to finally brake free of the abuse my mother gave to me after 40 years.

[@adub_from_253]

💖

[@amanisalone]

Sorry I just saw this now, what a kind thing to say to me and thank you for sharing with me and everyone on this channel the horror of what was and the hope that what will be can be better. This is exactly the kind of things we can grow in our internal garden when we water the plants most withered. I hope you find the peace and freedom within you that has been waiting to be found

[@perplexedmoth]

Came for the RPG, stayed for the therapy (while drawing my map and listening). Thanks for sharing a personal memory, but around the 30:30 mark, I would continue the thought process like this: Now you are an adult, and now you can go to that moment as your adult self, and speak to the father and put your hand on his shoulder and say "I'm sorry that you were stressed and anxious and taking it from a little child using his silly joke as an excuse". He must have had a shadow in himself that needs recognition.

[@kellerglee]

Another Jungian video, yes! Thanks for indulging us with these, I was really looking forward to the discussion. Also this title is much clearer in communicating the topic than the previous video - which I admittedly almost missed as I didn’t know that you’re talking about Jung in it 😅 Post-video thoughts: this was such a profound watch, and in line with synchronicities, the timing of this upload is on point. Thank you for making it and will have to sit a bit with these thoughts you evoked in me. The magic of individuation is that although ultimately it’s your own journey, the knowledge that others are taking their own alongside you is almost as important to carrying on ourselves. And that realisation is unbound by both time and space.

[@amanisalone]

I think this whole game we're playing is just the act of remembering that we're one soul. The trick is we all have a different path to traverse to make it back to the core, and we compete with others we see along the way, fearful that they are closer to the core than we are. But we are all headed to the same place. Back home!!

[@kellerglee]

@@amanisalone Thank you for the thoughtful reply, and I have to agree with that sentiment. I have had experiences in life when I felt connected to everything and everyone in a way it’s impossible to put into words. Recently I’ve been randomly having an overwhelming sense of all that is, almost like traces of us all on every single object that surrounds us. Interestingly it all started after a session of active imagination I did. Maybe it’s an inner call to open up a bit more spiritually, since I can be too scientific sometimes. :)

[@yarro1965]

Well, I didn't come here to cry but I sure stayed for the catharsis. Thanks for the vid. It can be hard to let go of the part of your mind that has been trained to filter your thoughts into polite words.

[@amanisalone]

I spent so much of my early life being polite to everyone else and a total asshole to myself. Then I completely switched it, asshole to everyone and glorified myself. As always, the truth is in the middle. Me, you, and everyone else is both amazing and an asshole and everything in between. Life is so hard that - once you throw away all the bullshit - there is only one truth/path/answer that works for yourself AND for everyone else: compassion. Rare resource these days, but perhaps the most valuable one we have. Thanks for watching

[@horusofoz]

Stumbled on the channel on a random solo RPG rabbit hole. Interesting talk thanks.

[@patrickmoates8030]

This is still one of my all time favorite videos from you. I want you to know that it had an impact on me and I appreciate your authenticity and inimitable you-ness with which you broach these topics. Thank you. Keep doing whatever the hell you're going to do, you rascal.

[@evanfarrar7226]

I really appreciate your videos. This one really unlocked understanding of your other solo roleplaying vids for me and caused me to go back and watch all of them. I’ll be honest I thought the “Jung’s Red Book is the best solo roleplaying book” vid was trolling me and didn’t listen to it past the punchline when it came on my feed. But that, and the “how to start solo roleplaying” advice on embracing your first suggestion give me deeper understanding of what people call “improv” and also what I/others might get out of the creating things now that I’ve seen this.

[@amanisalone]

Thank. you so much for writing this Evan, and yeah I guess I get in my own way with my misleading titles, but believe me I'm mostly trolling myself bc I love a good gag and don't really care about the algorithm. But i should be clearer so people can find the resources when they need them. Let's say "I'll try" (:

[@adub_from_253]

I watched one other video of yours before this one (solo rpg). This wasn’t the video I expected - but I’m even more glad for that. Thank you for this video, there were several times I found myself getting extremely choked up, I think because of how validated I felt. Thank you for sharing.

[@amanisalone]

@@adub_from_253 I accept all of everyone, and most of all myself (:

[@CarnivoreChris89]

This video, and a few more of yours, has placed you in the top #5 of my favorite youtubers! Also, This video was a month ago-ish, so happy birthday! 🎉

[@CarnivoreChris89]

At first, you are naive. Then, after facing the world, you become cynical. And you can never go back. Moving from cynical to wise, it's an endless row of twisted stairs and dark chambers. Until you find the light. I'm still in the dark. But sometimes, I see a glimpse of light shining briefly, showing me what direction to keep moving. Your story today was one such ray of light. Thank you

[@BDTMack]

A great video! Really thought provoking and inspiring! Your story about throwing the shadow in the basement really helped me to understand the point and I found it quite suspenseful and surprising. The way you described the shadow as a monster really sent my imagination into overdrive and then the reveal of who the shadow actually was came as quite a dramatic reveal! This was a blast to watch while also giving me a lot to chew on.

[@reelneim]

Man Alone is really going downhill... towards sunshine and roses. I must say I think you deserve it, after fighting an uphill battle for so long-and towards yourself. This was wholly beautiful and true to what I've recently seen in your videos. Wise dude, you really are. Thank you, Man Alone. You really do make good content; needle in a haystack.

[@amanisalone]

Thank you, and don't get it twisted though I'm sure I'll go downhill a few more times before the end. Is it weird I'm starting to look forward to it? The climb back up is so fun! Well...not "fun" really, but...well it's something to do.

[@reelneim]

@@amanisalone I think that's the sign of someone who has taken the plunge into despair only to realise it does not have to be a negative or crushing experience. To borrow the words of Epictetus: no event is intrinsically good or bad; it is simply a matter of what one choses to take from it. I'm so thankful for your choice to share and using long-form video and role-playing as your medium. Looking forward to whatever you may create and share going forward. I wish you a wonderful week to come and that you get to celebrate your 40th with the people you love. Edit: spelling

[@primepiplup]

This was a really great video. I really enjoy your psychology related videos and more conceptual or philosophical take on the roleplaying activity.

[@amanisalone]

finally, my 45 credit hours of psych is finally paying off... (thank you this was so nice to read)

[@drivers99]

the stuff 14 minutes in reminded me of so many situations like that, where you innocently make mistakes and are rebuked by important people in your life (as a kid mostly, but other times too)

[@littlemich3275]

I watched this video yesterday, and it's been on my mind all day. I have so much work to do.

[@absolutetrash.9123]

I love this video and i love this channel. I've been through treatment and have been sober for 2 years last week and solo role-playing has been one of my favorite ways to stay out of the bar. I just wanted to drop in and say I really appreciate these videos. I'd love to play a game with you sometime if you do that sort of thing with viewers. Anyway, that's all ive got.

[@MikeRenouf]

Fantastic insights and I really enjoy your channel. Thanks man.

[@DesertDwellerSoloGaming]

Video 15 of me liking and then commenting on every new upload to… well, just to do it. It seems I have seen to the purpose in my life by receiving a Mörk Borg gameplay and there is nothing left but white emptiness stretching forever into the vast unidentifiable ether of existence.

[@amanisalone]

Alright…don’t know why I’m doing this to myself but If you get to 25 videos of comments I will do a Cy_borg or Pirate Borg playthrough…your choice

[@DesertDwellerSoloGaming]

I’m not going to say no. Just remember that this was unsolicited 🤣 Also, I want the people to comment on these next videos saying either, “Cy-Borg” or “Pirate Borg” to get a… “vote”? Yeah. A vote. Let’s hear it, humans. Do you want Cy-Borg or Pirate Borg from our Man Alone? I will see it through on my end to lead us down the road of accomplishment and victory.

[@amanisalone]

@@DesertDwellerSoloGaming yeah it's fine. I did it to myself, sure. But also you MADE me do it. (I am allowed to maintain this part of my fiction if you are allowed to maintain the fiction that a future borg video will fill the void of emptiness. Fair exchange?). YOU PEER PRESSURED ME!!!!

[@kellerglee]

@@DesertDwellerSoloGaming I have a feeling this will end with a Cy_borg AND a Pirate Borg playthrough…

[@JonFromWA]

​@@DesertDwellerSoloGamingCy_borg. I'm really curious how it plays before I buy.

[@nanashimumei8392]

I certainly didn't expect to start crying during a ManAlone video, but I have to say I gave that little kid such a tight mental hug, cause I always have a little girl inside me like that who was "bad" too, and she's still struggling. I have to thank you very very thankly for posting these. I kept trying to see what this whole Shadow thing was about, because I knew instinctively that something is missing for me, and even though I really have made incredible progress since the time I decided I couldn't live this way anymore (depressed and lonely), I still feel immense guilt about not living my life in a certain way that others deem appropriate, and I want to know what i am hiding from myself. Compared to many other videos I tried listening to (that spoke directly about Jung), much of it seemed to require some foreknowledge of psychology and all I have is Psych 101 from nursing school lol. But this video laid out the concept of the shadow soooo clearly. I'm not yet sure how I will use this information, and I will probably need to rewatch, but I wanted to support you right away and post a comment, because this is so authentically moving, and due to serendipity, these videos seemed to appear at just the right time in my life. 🧇🧇

[@sitfrogsit]

[@amanisalone]

You need not know how you will use this information, friend. This information has already started doing its work with you if you felt this moved. What comes next will require bravery - but you're good for it, I know it!

[@nanashimumei8392]

@@amanisalone Haha more bravery than you know, thanks so much for the supportive words and waffle on 🧇🧇

[@columpaget5167]

Came here for the RPG talk, stayed for the psychoanalysis. Great video, thanks for making it.

[@amanisalone]

Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for writing this my friend, so nice to read comments like this.

[@joshuamiller8259]

I have spent my entire life having these little spikes of memory come back. Little moments of embarrassment, little things that make me cringe. They hit me like an attack from my shadow. I understand completely what you are talking about.

[@Chaoclypse]

Thank you for this video. I'll be honest, I didn't think it would, but it very deeply resonated with me. I've been having mental health issues for most of my life and only in the past few years have been discovering my "shadow" through intense therapy. It's tough and painful, but I think it's worth it. Also, thanks for showing off Solitary Depths! PS My username is pronounced "chow-clips" as in chowin down if that matters at all! It's a stupid name haha. Brandon is fine also :D

[@amanisalone]

CHOW-CLIPS IT IS!! That's a lot easier. I had been pronouncing it really smoothly in my head and then when it came out during recording I was like wtf is this why can't I "print" this word from my brain to my mouth. Anyhow, I am so glad this video connected with you - your book was the spark for it!

[@juliantheapostate8295]

Mate, your shadow is a funny guy, glad you let him out. That feeling when you stick something on for background noise and end up learning something useful.....

[@Deshitana]

I do not care what anyone says. I need these types of videos because it makes alot of sense to me and also i am a lover of philosphy and just human thoughts and experiences. So here i am deciding to stay because one guy on the internet not only made me more determine to face my fears and find my muse again using solo rping (eyeing thousand empty light. yes you convinced me to actually dive into it and into a hobby I've been afraid to explore for a long long time.), but also gave me a message from the universe to face my own self and in turn learn to love, but also get out my own way. Sorry for the length and run ons. I just really wanted to thank you for this and hope you keep on doing these videos on this matter and also solo rpgs. Thank you.

[@amanisalone]

Wisdom only feels inspiring like this when it echoes the wisdom that was already percolating inside of you. Glad to pull the words out of you and inject them into your ears. The journey is long and hard and in the end you are the only one who will be there the whole time. Face the shadow. The other option is never knowing who you were supposed to be all along. Thank you my friend, your comment meant a lot to read.

[@Deshitana]

@@amanisalone I appreciate the encouragement and the kind words. We can help each other heal and grow.

[@Cuthbo]

This was incredibly timely for me. I only started solo roleplaying 6 months ago and had zero idea that anyone else in the universe was doing it too. Now i know millions of people do it (obviously!) But also this whole intersection with Shadow and the deeper recesses of the mind feels natural. I really do feel like ive been confronting things about myself and stripping away layers. Great video

[@whangbar]

Interesting post. Your material always provides food for thought.

[@jojophalphouvong9801]

Awesome stuff 👍🏼 thank you for your work. The Jung videos strike a chord with me whenever i listen, and i really appreciate you putting yourself out there. It encourages me to look at my own shadow, as there are times i find it hard to accept him. Its been a process, but listening to stories like yours gives me the courage to keep trying.

[@hacknoone]

Thank you for showing your vulnerability, I am going through this right now. Idk how I found this video it’s what I needed.

[@coppercatfox4213]

I listen to a lot of psychological / therapeutical podcasts and youtube videos... but this episode touched me on a whole another level. Thanks a lot! Your words mean a lot to me. You touched someone on another part of the globe on a very personal level. Thank you thank you thank you!

[@accessyourinnerlight971]

Part of the reason we play TTRPGs (solo or otherwise) or even any other games with violence (video games, etcetera) is to explore human characteristics and events outside of our normal lives. It's one of the reasons I love sword & sorcery. It's a chance to experience a kind of "spiritual corruption" without actually experiencing it; its a story, its PLAY (Pretending Laws About Yourself), and anyone who takes it seriously or who says "That must be who you are in real life." either doesn't understand the principles of Play, Roleplaying, or Creative Re-enactment or is just itching to cast blame with only a shadow of comprehension (no pun intended). The other reason I think a lot of people play TTRPGs (solo or otherwise) is to experience some type of efficacy in their lives (particularly cathartic when one's employment or normal life situation is leaving one feeling ineffectual). And yes, I enjoy dark roleplaying, dark storytelling, etcetera. Which is why one of the first things I do with any rpg system is throw out any alignment rules. (Or try to come up with an alternative).

[@Adelbercht]

Loved your insights and thoughts about the shadow. You brought an introspective nuance I did not know I missed until I watched this video. Definitely subscribing! Hope you're doing well in your recovery!

[@RPGNook]

Profoundly honest and insightful. I came looking to learn about solo play and found a cathartic prophet. I've produced a lot of scenarios, and work as the lead writer on Ain't Slayed Nobody. If you ever want to collaborate and put feels into print and paint, just let me know.

[@notavailable4891]

Just finished the video. Really well put. I don't know if it will help me solo RPG yet, but I think it'll help me live.

[@Scibelius]

Ok, you made me cry. ❤

[@amanisalone]

yes, this was my intention! I make these videos as the most complex form of covert bullying. I love making people cry!!! (but seriously though I hope it was a good and cathartic cry that released some stuff and gave you hope or at least gave you a good feeling in the soul jelly)

[@Scibelius]

@@amanisaloneI really felt for the little Boy alone. At the same time there was a knock at my cellar door... So yes, I guess its good.👊

[@amanisalone]

@@Scibelius that’s why Scibelius gets advertising on my play board

[@Scibelius]

@@amanisalone ❤️

[@finbob6762]

The longer I roleplay the more my roleplay has changed. It began playing the hero then the villain or maybe the today's popular anti-hero.. but to play a character with deep flaws and actually find and maintain the consistent voice for that character is so rewarding. Maybe you are able to play a redemptive arc for the character overcoming her flaws to become a better person. Or maybe not and the character is eventually brought down by his own flaws, unable to overcome them. But those times when I am able to get that right tone and voice and keep it going through a whole storyline... yea.. that's the good stuff right there.

[@amanisalone]

I think the temptation is always there to shift the character into something more acceptable - I agree with you; keep the character's "thing" and keep pressing it. See what happens when the character tries not to change or grow. in my opinion, the universe pushes harder and harder and it becomes more and more difficult for that character to "refuse" the call of the universe. This is where the real tension, conflict, explosion, and eventual catharsis happen.

[@giggledust2130]

This is exactly what I needed! I'm planning a solo run of Ghastly Affair, and I wanted to play a Jane Austen-style villainess.

[@the_Mike_d]

I've been struggling with solo role playing for 5+ years - namely the idea of it (why? how?). I've read so many books and watched countless KZbin videos covering the topic, but having recently discovered your channel, this one is genuinely unique. Never occurred to me how solo role playing could be a legitimate introspective tool (of sorts). Heavy stuff!

[@amanisalone]

Yeah I really do believe that when I solo role-play my unconscious mind just uses it as an opportunity to start bubbling up its contents. it's kind of incredible, especially when I hit that flow state in a session.

[@the_Mike_d]

@@amanisalone I was thinking about all this more last night after watching and it was really making me question *why* I might like certain types of fantasy more than others. Namely how I transitioned from classic high fantasy (like Lord of the Rings) as a teenager into more grimdark / shades of gray stories as a young adult and then adult. Namely, is this is reflection of losing idealism and the belief of a black and white world? It never really occurred to me to use solo role playing to "push" even deeper into the darker elements to see where it leads. Really great stuff to think about.

[@primepiplup]

Me (a man) when I am a man alone and I watch the new man alone video but before I do I leave a comment in order to be the first to do so (alone)

[@notavailable4891]

About halfway through the video I forgot you weren't describing the plot of The Babadook.

[@kevincarr1213]

Have you heard of the book Top Ten Games You Can Play In Your Head By Yourself? It surely is not for everyone, but it has several interesting exercises about working with your “shadow self.“ You might find it interesting to explore.

[@amanisalone]

no is this a book? link me Kevin!!!

[@vincenzogiambusso]

Wonderful! Subscribed!

[@sitfrogsit]

Love it! 🖤

[@ChadRobb]

Another book recommendation The Ink that Bleeds by Paul Czege. It's about using journaling games immersively.

[@amanisalone]

I'm on it!

[@drivers99]

You just made me buy a copy, so congrats (haha)

[@supersiamesisk]

Thank you so much for this.

[@bleaquehaus]

But the darkest part of me is my favorite fruit. The world shall never know...

[@amanisalone]

Don't lie we all know that your shadow is that you squirt whip cream directly from the can into your mouth you can't hide it anymore just give up the act bleaquehaus!!!!

[@bleaquehaus]

@@amanisalone CANNED whipped cream? Plebeian.

[@hearthustleSoloRPG]

Ahoy Matey, I call my shadow Tempest

[@thicctynine]

when you're OCD enough to fiddle with the objects until the shadows fall just right but not OCD enough to line the shadows up with the grid. I hadn't even noticed the shadows until you pointed them out and now that's killing me.

[@amanisalone]

Lol now I’ve doomed you to this fate for eternity

[@someyoutubeaccountforvideo680]

are you gonna try out the new shadowdark solo?

[@OrkKnuckles]

Good soup

[@amanisalone]

spice level okay? needs salt? too hot?

[@lukefarrell6769]

Loving the channel mate!! But you've damaged my wallet!! 😂 I've now got an utter 4AD addiction

[@AnnetteZimmerman]

Hugs!

[@justinsutton3943]

👀

[@mayanightstar]

It sure wasn't that hard for me to face my own shadow and I had this realization like it's probably harder for people who have more to lose. The more privilege you have from your face, gender, class, etc etc, the less you've been desensitized to societal rejection so the fear of your shadow ruining everything you have is much much stronger. Like facing my own shadow has been a downright joyful experience lately but I think I'm the oddball because the story in this video reflects so many popular stories out there, like in movies and stuff.... Which are usually about cishet white men.

[@Camelwrestler]

This video is my kind of bag of screeching cats.