Some Expats Are Doing THIS and It's Killing Their Dating Life! - Philippines

[@Lifebeyondthesea]

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[@whatever7639]

“Be honest with yourself”…. Excellent Points …great show!

[@catsupchutney]

Excellent advice. Pretending to be interested in opening a bank account in order to meet tellers is some dating delta force level tactics.

[@Lawrence75-u9c]

Awesome comment 😂😂

[@malcolmapplet4313]

I used to load up on a couple pairs of glasses during my trips because they were cheap. I bet that optometrist lady is still single too. She wasn't drop dead gorgeous but, you know... slim, everything is in the right place, educated

[@niallk9336]

The one part that got me was asking another teller to play matchmaker. I would be worried she would feel jilted or passed over. This is the crux. You can go there and scout, but to actually talk to her you might have to do some things (like open the bank account and go shuffle money around on the off chance you can talk to her)

[@Lifebeyondthesea]

you don't have to actually open an account. just be there to ask for info on opening an account. "thank you for the info, i will review this at home and then make a decision."

[@gregwil694]

​@@niallk9336Jilted or passed over? Too extreme in this case. It's just another possible customer, she just met and doing her job with. It would most likely please her be an unexpected bridge to a coupling that day. It really is a beautiful tactic.

[@stevehatten209]

Great point on what people really want. I'm 60 years old and frequently go to Thialand. I don't want marriage or live in girlfriends. I like young, beautiful women in their late 20s and 30s. Life is too short not to be honest with yourself. I pay to play, if you think about it, nothing good is free. I've worked hard my whole life to make this possible.

[@Lifebeyondthesea]

knowing what you want makes life simpler and a more efficient venture.

[@SuperSupersoda]

I live in a place that, for years, never had a working freezer. The fridge worked, but the freezer never did. Sometime ago, the fridge broke down and was replaced, and now the freezer works. Every time I went to the grocery store, for months, I bought ice cream bars, because I'd never been able to have them before with the broken freezer. After about two months, I stopped doing that, because ice cream bars weren't as good as I thought, but man, those first few ice cream bars were incredible. If you're a man from the west, the odds that you have ever had the option to "play around" with different women is nill. You have no idea what that's like. It's okay to be curious and it's okay to just try that for awhile and see it goes. If that part of you hasn't been satisfied yet, a long-term relationship is not going to do you any good because you'll always be wondering about what playing the field would be like. If that's what you need, admit it to yourself and do it. I've never had options with women, and you can bet that if, by some miracle, I ever do get that, I will play the field for awhile. That's okay.

[@stanjohnson7849]

Exactly 👍🏽 if you can’t be honest with yourself how can you be honest with others 👏🏽

[@sandrocavaliere5297]

Excellent advice - know yourself, its the age old adage. Stop deluding everybody, but most importantly yourself. Thanks for the video.

[@oceanearth2243]

Forget the dating apps; The best girls I’ve met in the Philippines were at yoga class, and working as the receptionists at my condo down at the juristic office.

[@rolandmueller7218]

I met a male nursing student who complains that he is always surrounded by too many filipinas that want to cook for him and date him. He is thinking about switching to his field of study to engineering. 😅

[@4302arod]

Once again Reekay, you nailed it! There are many foreigners, myself included that have a list of requirements in whom they want to date and possibly marry. If someone is looking for a pretty to beautiful, slender, morena girl, they can find them wandering around anywhere in the Philippines. If your list gets longer and are looking for a professional woman, then you have to go where they congregate. Like you have said many times, they are busy working six days a week and don't have time to be wandering around. I have found that the girls working in the malls, banks, hospitals, or nice stores tend to be on the pretty to beautiful end of the spectrum and have pretty good English skills. I think you said best when you tell guys to be creative. They are not going to fall in your lap. Keep up the great work. You are doing and have always done a great service to the men watching your channel!!!

[@stephen-dev]

My list was rather simple and small. It was very easy to find someone. Much much easier than in the USA.

[@terrycavender]

You are right, he won't find what he’s looking for in Thailand. I was living there for six months and it's an uphill battle to meet a proper lady. The only place you will have luck finding an English speaker is in bars, or other businesses that directly service the expat trade. No luck with dating sites either. That is unless you want a short term rental, and those relationships are purely transactional! 🤣 It's funny how we can't be honest with what we want, perhaps we still care too much about being judged by others? Good advice on your part though, pity it was wasted on that guy, but I surely took your advice to heart.

[@RPhTom]

serpentza met a female doctor by teaching english for doctors classes. bars are horrible places to meet wives.

[@MyLifeThai371]

​@@RPhTomserpentza met his first wife in a bar though. He always referred to her as Beer Girl.

[@Lawrence75-u9c]

I cant wait to test all this out!! The bank thing was next level 😮

[@yankeeman311]

I think you're half right. The part i agree with is needing to be honest with yourself. But I wouldn't say it's automatically biased confirmation. It could be a fear of commitment. Where when you start sniffing something realistic, your natural instinct makes you step back to protect yourself. It's happened to me out there for sure. Sometimes, commitment comes with things you don't think about. Such as a slower or more boring lifestyle not everyone is ready for. I don't think I agree about it taking 3 days to find a GOOD relationship in 2024 in the Philippines. That takes some time to screen. But having a full understanding of yourself and what comes with what you want, I think that's spot on

[@kaijusushi8165]

I've found in dating keeping an open mind (within clearly defined limits) has led to some very life-enriching relationships. Better to start with a relatively short list of what you don't want, than a long list of what you do want.

[@timgeist1574]

I believe the clinical expression is "confirmation bias."

[@orvilledyer9904]

Excellent advice and content. You nailed it.

[@Lifebeyondthesea]

Appreciate that! keeping it real.

[@Time2Live.online]

Great advice, thank you.

[@matttillman7430]

One of the 48 Ways to Wisdom is "b'vinat ha-lev" with understanding of the heart. The rabbi who taught me about it said it's important to know what you are living for and what you want out of life. You can bye a bus ticket and just get on a bus and take it wherever it goes, or you can have a goal in mind and get on the bus going that way. You'll get there faster if you set out a course of action.

[@davidpaxton6402]

When in the Philippines why would anyone solely rely on dating apps full of scammers, catfishers, single mothers, and married or attached women? There are literally millions of mainly very friendly single women all around you. Just cold approach. This guy has NO courage! In Australia we call them a whimp!

[@CC-mp5jc]

You put me on the spot, i respect that

[@Lifebeyondthesea]

better are the wounds of a friend, than the kisses of an enemy. -- solomon

[@rayrous8229]

Hehehe! If you want a nurse, go to the hospital cafeteria. There's an eye opener. It should make a listener get a real plan.

[@MrNathan1575]

Spot on mate. Great vid

[@skip2it426-]

You right on point Reekay great points and advice. Guys often sabotage themselves with stupidity. They’re enough people out there who’ll do it for them. They should be more wiser. Thanks for sharing 👏🏾👍🏾!

[@Kevin-G-7]

Thanks you for the real life story. While we all shake our heads in disbelief, we should also keep in mind that we are susceptible to making this type of mistake. Your advice to sit with one’s self for an afternoon is spot on. It often takes more than one afternoon. It is counterintuitive, but understanding one’s true self can be hard. That can sound silly because we tend to think something like “of course I know the real me - I am me, how can I not know?” The reality is there are parts of our lives that we can’t understand clearly without quiet self-reflection. You are right: taking the time to understand our true desires is an investment that will pay huge dividends in time, money, and emotional energy.

[@4302arod]

You nailed it again! This guy has set his standards so high that no woman will every meet those standards and it gives him the reason to keep playing the field. I went through this in my younger years where no woman was ever going to meet my expectations. I met several beautiful women with a great heart that would have made great wives. I passed on all of them. I hope they have great lives now. More than likely, he will not find what he is looking for in Thailand either.

[@niallk9336]

His standards aren't necessarily high, just bizarrely specific. Like the 30-35 professional. And then he goes to Cebu 😅

[@RPhTom]

​@@niallk9336he should've went to manila.

[@williamblaker2628]

His goals aren't unrealistic, except for one: the childless criterium. A 30-35 year old with no kids is rare there. There are some, but they'll be hard to find. As for finding a professional filipina, there are many. Thousands of single professional Filipinas, and virtually all speak English.

[@leg414]

Another great video with what should be an expat MANDATORY message....As i have seen some truly good men and some bad ones...Sink like a rock and never listen....Nor take on data...Even though some are very erudite and even "Street Smart"...Make all sorts of blunders and mistakes and just go the Philippines as though it were "Disneyland" and there are all sorts of things to trip you up...But those that prey on the unwary and ignorant...As the "Paradise" they expect...Turns out to be a 'Man-Trap" sometimes to no return. Good story and one to remember and refer back to....And as you said...."Be Honest With Yourself" ....As this is a basic...But most powerful statement that most never do....Hence they fail and fail again...Peace

[@Mays_TV]

Great video, we appreciate you!

[@Lifebeyondthesea]

Glad you enjoyed it, hope it helps!

[@michaelfortenberry5735]

He ain't finding it in Thailand.

[@roman_r-q2u]

Rekay, u could be a great investigator

[@edwardflorence5460]

I never have a written list when I go to the grocery store. For 50 years I put in my head generally what I want and then I get what I see. My meals cost about $3.00 each.

[@JamesAdams-cg9hl]

Most people speaks English to some extent in the Philippines. Very few people speak English in other countries in Asia. That is why the Philippines is the place to find your love.

[@dimplypaprika7693]

good advice. I love all your AI girls, they are so much prettier to look at than real girls! LOL!

[@CLCIII]

I feel your pain Reekay with these kinds of people. They cannot be helped. I just cannot wrap my mind around self delusional behavior. God said to Moses at the burning bush "I Am Who I Am". Paul said "But by the grace of God I am who I am." 100% transparent honesty with self and others is truly THE only thing that achieves anything in life of any lasting worth. As Always, May God Bless you and yours! 😇

[@napoleonmdusa8877]

This guy's issue is that he didn't take his time and learn what's out there first and then create the characteristics he wants in a woman from what's available. Otherwise, a guy will end up like this guy continuously searching for someone that doesn't exist. I don't think he'll do any better in Thailand. Thinking more about this, it reminds me of how women in America are--always looking for that 0.01 % man who checks off all their boxes only to realise too late in life he never existed or is already taken by another woman. Those women also fail to adjust their "standards" to what's attainable, much like this guy did when he was in the Philippines.

[@endlessroads9936]

You can get the high income girl, working a great job. But you sit down with them find out that there just space in her head. You need test her, talk about things that dose not involve all about your relationships, your going have to deal with her the rest of your life, do you really want a person who whole world around tictok dance videos

[@whatever7639]

You’re conducting an informal Functional Behavioral Assessment to discover what root drives the behavior. Which may be the same or vastly different to what he SAYS is his reason!

[@maplesyrupphilosopher6886]

Absolutely! 800% when you've already made the decision, everything else is just wasting time.

[@vgshwk]

Going to a grocery store in the Philippines and getting something quick I am not sure that is possible unless it is a few items at 711.

[@whatever7639]

Bias Confirmation …. And Failure Avoidance Behaviors

[@CornellSandifer]

When it comes to people you just can't discount stupid when it comes to figuring out why people do what they do, after living in Makati for the last 18 months watching people stupid still top my list, be it foreigner or local but it is so entertaining and it doesn't cost me anything, I do so love the Philippines it's so twisted!

[@raymondjames2590]

The guy or the expat should have asked you for the street called( How Much Street) everyone knows where that street is located at normally

[@kennethyoung2077]

I just want to buy a house for someone, then give them the rest of my money. Only then would I know if she really loved me. .

[@Lifebeyondthesea]

there will be a line outside your door in the ph. :)

[@nrelationship]

Well said.

[@AntoineDennison]

Keeping it 100%.

[@Listener827]

Bias confirmation--you called it.

[@rusty-n4o]

ANOTHER GOOD VLOG

[@percyjackson1305]

I’m looking for a filipina who is a good woman and wants a serious relationship and is a good singer are my expectations too high? And I’m not sure where to find one

[@ronrichards6653]

Go to a karaoke place in the Philippines and ask some out

[@williamblaker2628]

Lots of Filipinas are good singers, but most of the time they're not singing, so it's hard to tell unless you ask them to sing. Here's a plan: Look around to find a filipina you're attracted to; ask her to go on a date with you; watch her and listen to her to see if she's a good person; for the second date, take her to a karaoke place.

[@percyjackson1305]

@@ronrichards6653okay thank you

[@percyjackson1305]

@@williamblaker2628thank you

[@mzikmund1]

Legend..

[@jesterjala8221]

Wag Ka Pumatol sa mga Pokpok at mga Street meat women Pumatol ka sa mga conservative religious at educated Women God Bless You ❤❤❤❤

[@CC-mp5jc]

Wow...i have to shake your hand 🙈

[@Lifebeyondthesea]

if you're ever on bohol, let me know and we can meet for some coffee. facebook.com/reekay.new

[@s5101984]

Sry but if he doesnt really want a woman then why waste all this time travelling and purposly getting nowhere?

[@Lifebeyondthesea]

not having a clear goal causes people to waste valuable resources, like time and money, running in the wrong direction.

[@davidhall3747]

If a single man is not marriage material, why should a single woman that is expect anything good to come from a relationship with him?

[@jtraveler888]

💯🎯👍

[@kiwioffgrid2437]

Yet the national debt is approx 14 trillion pesos? Who are those who embezzled it? Poverty, with such massive debt, need not exist. Imagine, instead of going into the pockets of the corrupt, that that money was invested to areas needed. Providing free, cheaper education, health care , subsidized housing etc.

[@NeilQ-o9p]

One afternoon?? It took you 7 years?!? Can you tell us why?

[@Lifebeyondthesea]

yes. i knew for a fact that there was no way i'd either be making or raising kids in my retirement. so, finding a filipina who (a) had no kids and (b) was fine without kids in the future took a long time. now, if i was open to having kids.. no sweat, give me an afternoon and before sundown i'd find and begin a relationship. 3 days max. they are everywhere. and not on dating sites. just going about one's business in town. any man willing to have kids in his future marriage should be able to find a good, decent woman he is attracted to about as easily as falling off a log in the philippines.

[@ronrichards6653]

You can trust that Reekay was keeping busy in those 7 years. Don't forget to leave some for us!

[@JAZARISTARLIGHT]

Bwahahaha 😂😂😂❤ tell’em big uncle. Call out the BullShido 🎉

[@DavidB-l4t]

He is looking for a hot 30s with good job and no children, and those are scarce as hell. Philippines is the land of 4-6s, very few 7s up

[@stevenchris13]

Funny that he wants a professional but has no clue to go to those type of businesses.

[@napoleonmdusa8877]

I was also thinking--he could have gone for a dental checkup(s) or eye exam(s) as they are cheaper there compared to USA. It could be interesting IF multiple dental or eye exams all agree on the results and course of treatment--I have my doubts about that but maybe one of the receptionists would catch his eye & interests.

[@whitehorse1959]

❤❤❤❤

[@davesphilippinedaydream2656]

Well if he wants an older woman with a degree he should try the United States. There's lots of old women with degrees and lots of cats. Lol

[@daximil]

I was thinking something similar. I was thinking "Sounds like he's looking for an American woman."

[@jessiehere3188]

Plausible confirmations like plausible denyability in women heehee nothing bad you just haven't made your mind up

[@MichaelPrudhomme-u7x]

This guy is ridiculous 😂 Wants a strong independent woman that’s beautiful and interested in interracial relationships while spending 6 weeks looking in the Philippines.

[@Ivan.Nismo0018]

Why they use the word Expat? Aren’t Americans immigrants when they move to another country?

[@Lifebeyondthesea]

no. an expat is a person living outside their own country. short or long term. an immigrant is a person living outside their own country who becomes a citizen of a foreign country.