Something's Burning S2 E11: Robert Kelly and Mike Calta Love A Good Tampa Cuban (Sandwich)

Something's Burning S2 E11: Today on Something' Burning, I'm joined by my #4 and #12 best friends, Bobby Kelly and Mike Calta, for some Cuban sandwiches and locker room talk.
Follow Robert: / robertkellylive
Follow Mike: / themikecaltashow
Get Season 1 of Something’s Burning, brand new merch, and the full UNCUT version at bertyboyproduc...
FRIED PLANTAINS
- Ripe plantains
- Vegetable oil
- Salt
1. Slice plantains at an angle into 1/2 inch pieces
2. Sprinkle plantains with salt
3. Heat vegetable oil on medium low; cook plantains for 7 minutes each side
4. Drain plantains on a paper towel before serving
AVOCADO SAUCE
- Avocado
- Sour cream
- Garlic
- Lime juice
- Cilantro
- Chili powder
- Salt and pepper
1. Dice Avocados; place all ingredients in food processor and process on high until smooth
GARLIC AIOLI
- Mayonnaise
- Minced garlic
- Lemon Juice
- Salt and pepper
SPICY MAYO
- Mayonnaise
- Hot sauce
- Minced garlic
- Lime juice
- Cajun seasoning
CUBAN SANDWICH
- Bread
- Mustard
- Mayo
- Swiss cheese
- Dill pickles
- Ham
- Pulled pork
- Salami
- Butter
1. Spread mustard and mayo on both sides of bread. Add cheese to both sides
2. Add ham, pork, salami, and pickles to one side, then close sandwich
3. Heat skillet and season with butter
4. Toast sandwich on both sides, pressing down with another pan
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[@chaselepard]

Im so happy that Bert gets to hang out with his best friend and his best friend's best friend.

[@AgendaInMind]

Can he go one single episode without talking about the Fear Campaign? Live your life, bro!

[@SalaciousBCrumb-md3lk]

Who's Bert?

[@dnice7200]

@@SalaciousBCrumb-md3lk you mean Burnt Chrysler?

[@bambus_ross]

Bert licking his fingers while making a sandwich for other people was too much 😂

[@granttabisreviews7696]

It's hard to watch

[@AAAFate]

At this point it's a feature of the show. I wonder how often they cut around it. Some episodes have been very aggressive with the finger licking.

[@bambus_ross]

As a cook, it's especially hard to watch 🤣.

[@KeysToTheCastleMusic]

I was thinking the same thing lol

[@JasonMMoreno]

and then he also rubbed his nose before putting on the second layer of cheese

[@odeivonimajneb]

"Why do I have to confirm your misery?" "Cus you're my friend" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@LetsBeClear87]

12th best friend

[@DUCEDUCEVA]

Bert is literally how we expected Chunk from the Goonies to grow up and be famous!

[@prundonmcavoy7155]

Good fucking call!

[@capitalg6703]

He's actually a lawyer for Hollwood actors now.

[@prundonmcavoy7155]

@@capitalg6703 Seeing his appearance now is quite a strong contrast to Bert, too 😆

[@NA86737]

I Always expected Chunk to bed dead by 18

[@MiguelMartinez-el1le]

Damn lol

[@Cyxz666]

Watching Bobby's face while Bert cooks is a show in itself

[@jordanmercier3616]

So annoyed, it's like a dad watching his kid cook and really trying not to tell him how to do it.

[@Multimedia_Magic]

Every episode is loaded with little looks and tells from the guests as they watch Bart dropping shit, licking his fingers. I love that moment when they realize he's going to actually cook and make them eat the food.

[@corbin8930]

Mike couldn’t take his eyes off Bert’s hands the entire show

[@TheManFromOregon]

Bobby is a gem! One of the most under appreciated comics by fans.

[@cavemanvi]

Bobby is the most closeted man in the universe and it comes out when he grabs a plantain. Lmaooooo

[@kentonjbradford]

A true comic's comic

[@weegeesworld69]

Bobby is so greatly under rated!!! Bobby is to comedy what prince is to music, they become what they do. Bobby is funny all the time, he is comedy

[@vladimirgreene1516]

Came here to watch Kelly judge Bert every step of the way 🤣

[@paulfernandez1486]

Cowheads face as he watches Bert lick his fingers while putting the cheese on the bread 😂 😂

[@D-MiX_Music]

Bert and Robert are 2 amazing comics and may they continue to inspire through laughter and joy for as long as possible!!! 😊

[@joef1299]

Berts an “amazing comic”? Uhhh. Amazing personality maybe.

[@rustknuckleirongut8107]

Brilliantly underhanded

[@justinclewis86]

GODDAMN I love how much love Bert constantly shows love to Tampa. Been following him since he was in clubs, hometown proud!

[@PearlDrumsHead]

Bobby Kelly is ALWAYS a great guest on any pod he goes on 👏🏻 Love ya buds

[@applejacks8160]

Bart “BAMMING!” hot oil was probably the best thing ive seen so far, as a Chef of 20 years… Rivaled only to Dan and Big Jay asking how Apple Fritters could be “Burned and Raw” and the same time. Also, production stepping in and removing a pan of hot oil was a good move👌

[@ryken_]

Bert laughing and pointing the knife at his guests haunts my dreams

[@davidpatriot1082]

these men are not only blessed for their careers and success, but for their friendships truly blessed men

[@austezygotKUSH]

BRENTS SMACKING IS ALMOST INTOLERABLE THIS EPISODE OMGGGGGG

[@danicalaureeolson]

Bobby kills me. Just the quick always on defence but absolutely hilarious.

[@charleyhansen4866]

Bobby looks amazing so glad he's going to live longer

[@cliveowen334]

These two together with Bert is amazing. It's not guests coming over, it's literally his friends!

[@andrewwhite1305]

"You were sucking his finger?" Great line!

[@HeyRooster42]

"You were sucking his finger?!" Is probably Bert's best improv on the internet. My man.

[@cagney187]

8 1 3 in the house!!! Love ya, Bert! I always loved the drunken call in to Calta from the random airports you were at. Bobby basically lives here which is great for comedy. La Segunda has the best Cubans. Helps when you invented the 🍞

[@hunterchewning5432]

THANK YOU! La Segunda is the best by far

[@dylanramirez7274]

moreno bakery in brandon is really good too

[@spencerdunn6933]

It's crazy that Bert's hygienic practices around food bother me significantly less than his condiment distribution.

[@travishenderson9635]

I go pretty heavy with mustard and that was SO much lmao. I'd maybe do half that

[@jonathand827]

He licked his fingers as he was putting the toppings wtf 😅

[@amarlow7]

I've been loving Bobby's tour of podcast with the West Coast bunch, I was a huge O&A fan till it just became drama and cruel. I always felt for Bobby when he was on there because the teasing was funny and then it just got sad. So to see Bobby with guys like Bert, Santino and Tom makes me happy the sweet boy is getting some love from everyone.

[@cwbintn8949]

''Are you wiping your hands with butter? that's the fattest thing I've ever seen anyone do'' I love Bobby Kelly lmao

[@robertmatthewson7381]

As a Tampa native I'm proud Bert put this out gasparilla week like a real og

[@taylorbond5442]

We all know that Robert Kelly is too good! I've heard of Mike Calta as I'm a big fan of Brent, but I haven't been been exposed to him before. His sense of humor is very understated and clever as hell!

[@operatoncreation6396]

when i see a new episode drop. just smiles. love you brat.

[@lunaluvsya]

Bert is the ONLY person I can listen to eat and talk on a pod. I'm a bit baffled but I think its cause he makes the same amount of mouth noises when he is not eating 💜 Peace and love 💜🙋‍♀️

[@jasonyano]

Didn’t think I would like this one as much as the others but turned out to be one of the best. You can tell they are all such good friends. Now I gotta get the pay wall action.

[@mkwilson38]

Bobby Kelly’s ep’s with Rick on TYSO are great! So glad to see him here too!

[@MrSpunkyflunky]

OMG I love seeing Bobby on the back of his heels with his friends calling him out

[@weegeesworld69]

I am absolutely thrilled that this show is back, Bert you sir have thee best cooking show I have ever watched, all of your guests are top shelf, and the way you interact with them is so entertaining!!! I was literally laughing so hard at you 3 in this episode I was crying, hilarious!!! please never stop doing this show!!!

[@guessulagged3400]

This is my favorite episode I had no idea who these 2 were going in but the chemistry of just 3 best friends made this one great. They almost just walked off to his backyard without even ending the show like they forgot the cameras were there

[@heatheverett]

21:36 "You can't BAM hot oil, dude!" LMAO, Goddamnit Bobby is the best!

[@juice2620]

So many people insult Bert's cooking and drink making ability but once they try it they are usually sold. I believe in you Bert.

[@newhot2011rapmusic]

Lick your fingers while making someone else food see what their reaction would be

[@clamsoup]

"Are you wiping your hands with butter?" Bobby win.

[@markc9978]

Bert licking his fingers and then continuing to place cheese on the bread hurts my soul😂😂😂

[@jjam1633]

Who would eat anything Bert cooks disgusts me. Love the show, but damn....

[@Phogramo]

He cooks and eats like an entitled child lmfao

[@mike54996]

To be fair, his alcohol level was probably .25, so maybe the germs died?!

[@markc9978]

@@mike54996 hahaha didn't think of that

[@AgendaInMind]

If you can't catch cancer, you can't catch anything else.

[@imrisqix6402]

best one I’ve seen yet this and the Delia and Bobby one are tied 😂😂😂

[@philiplack1297]

Shoutout to West Tampa Sandwich Shop, they are the ones who put honey on their cubans, they are incredible.

[@acar2995]

Man this is gonna be great 102.5 the bones one and only mike calta and Robert Kelly

[@AboutCelery]

Hahaha......

[@thefatyakker5181]

OMG!!!! I am so happy that you have Mike on!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[@bobbyh5617]

Lol Burnt licking his fingers while making the sandwich. 😂

[@redrooster8218]

As a fellow Florida native growing up in the 813/727 the BEST Cuban sandwich in Florida comes from M&G CAFE2 on Ulmerton in Largo. In February go see Papi and get a Cuban sandwich and some perfect mufongo

[@boman9313]

Went to Boston a few years ago and seen Robert Kelly and a Red Sox game. Best time ever in Boston. Got to see him again he’s F’n hilarious and I gotta see you as well Bert

[@roberthickman4]

This might be one of the best episodes

[@RustOnWindows]

this is why this show is great 21:39

[@andyhoms2001]

Bert and Cowhead are 2 of my favorite home town guys. I live in the Los Angeles area, but lived in Tampa for a lot of years.

[@michaelsweet3256]

I would love to hangout with Bart for an afternoon and drink. What a blast!

[@Probably_tryna_sleep]

Spanish is going to be so sad because he wasn't there, Galvin is going to go on about how funny he would have been lol.

[@johnnyballgame3765]

49:17 when Brock kicks his fingers and proceeds to continue making the Cuban!! LMAO. Mike Calta def noticed. 😂

[@thargro13]

I need more of the "old gay couple" Calta and Kelly

[@jamesmartinez4536]

Calta! God I love his radio show. YOu can tell this isnt his typical forum and hes nervous which is weird to see. But thoroughly enjoyed it :) Thanks Bert!

[@blackiowa]

Never knew about either of these guys and I'm so glad I watched this. Hilarious!

[@HempKnight2112]

Numero uno has the best plantains

[@WeekendUpdate7]

Love to see Bobby making the rounds on all of the podcasts. Seems like the weight-loss has been for the best.

[@curbmuncher]

Apparently he's dying or really sick.

[@tomz5704]

I liked him better when he could have been an island

[@WeekendUpdate7]

@@curbmuncher Stop lol

[@McD0n4lds._.W1f1]

The way he cut the bread EVERYtime😂 And it’s the wrong kind of knife lol

[@gfeast4518]

Hope to see you in Tampa here soon, grew up listening to 102.5 the bone, my favorite rock/metal station until they stopped playing music 😢 even saw mikes band at a Def lepperd show haha

[@schuylerdunn-flanagan1867]

best ad reads ever - bert is SO toasty LOL

[@swiftdog49er51]

Please bring Bobby Kelly back again. Ask him very controversial questions because when he gets going I love his accent coming out😅🎉😂❤

[@artfire007]

I love that moment in each episode when Bert describes the dish and his mouth waters so bad it interrupts his speech pattern.

[@BPH55]

Something is burning. And it’s usually Burt. 😂

[@michellefoster8551]

M&g Cuban Cafe on Ulmerton Rd. has the best Cubans in my opinion. And Bert you know us Tampa folks don't put honey on our Cubans.. But I'd try anything once 😂

[@alexanderdavid8441]

awesome!!!

[@ThedeadlyOG]

Also I think Bobby is the comic Bert always refers to when he has stories of comics being mean to him hahah just watch how he reacts every time Bobby jabs him

[@mauricebeltcher8764]

1:11:02 😂

[@MikeRotch24]

🤣

[@acecamacho8778]

Best episode yet!

[@coloradowebnerd]

Bobby is looking great! Looking really healthy.

[@macalewesp4082]

The faces Bobby is making when he's busting ass is killing me.

[@mikebird5148]

As a Tampa native, this is awesome seeing Calta on the show, listen to this guy every morning!

[@SABRETOO0F]

I loved Mike Calta in the Indiana Jones movies

[@supafun33]

I've lived in Sherman Oaks. It's a pain to go over the hills

[@bluecollar825]

Tasered in the taint for Cheap Trick tickets is insanely aggressive lol

[@tompeacock6674]

Truly best friends arguing like they married 😂😂😂😂

[@fatguyonthc]

I grew up in St. Pete and would kill for a real Cuban sandwich. There’s a few places around Portland that try but it’s just not the same.

[@TheUnholyPosole]

...gross, you live in Portland?

[@aquascapegoat2725]

It's the bread man! A good sandwich is about all I miss of Pinellas though

[@gassgames]

Banger Episode 🤘🤘

[@D-MiX_Music]

Bert just loves to have fun and it’s contagious

[@jayjason2517]

When Bert says I work out but don't want to look skinny and Mike replied, "Mission Accomplished". 😂

[@notajedi4046]

Bob is the only individual that makes Bart seem like an adult

[@Flakeski]

Calta on here is great. Wish yall would do a podcast with him

[@jayleno2192]

24:28 lmao, I've had the same thing happen to me with eyeglasses. I got my prescription checked once while hungover and it was wildly different from my normal prescription. I didn't even bother buying new glasses with the new prescription because I knew they wouldn't be good.

[@Burnie66]

Word Burt!

[@ericgriebel3595]

When Bobby said, " your gonna want to kiss me, when you put that in your mouth" I was rolling

[@dirtperson4221slash2]

.. That's the fastest thing I've ever seen. Bob got me with that one

[@briancavigliano8310]

Episode was amazing , love seeing all 3

[@PurrfectPastaPets1817]

😂😂😂😂😂😂 sucking his finger. lol. Dying.

[@brookeb452]

14:48 Calta saying ‘“I got butthole eyes” bc he’s always tired killed me. Just slipped that in so quietly I had to go back and make sure that’s what he said 💀

[@jonathanreis6952]

Bobby Kelly is the first comedian that I think about when I think of true stand up. He’s from ny neck of the woods! I’m from SOMERVILLE ma and by the way BOBBY I was Hoyt Sullivan park and Marshall St. park! So I can 100% verify you’re childhood stories brother. Hazing, fighting and stick ball was our way of life. And I wouldn’t have changed a thing about it! KILLBOX BY the way WAS A LEGENDARY special bud! Good work.

[@enirrisky]

Bobby is looking great!

[@hoaxboat858]

watching bert’s guest watch him lick his fingers and touch his nose/ face while touching the food… lmao

[@briangalloway3684]

Literally wouldn't eat anything he makes he sets off wayyyy too many of my ocds

[@AAAFate]

@briangalloway3684 or you know, just general cleanliness and respect at this point haha. OCD aside

[@NokSuKow31]

The zoom on the pour was perfect

[@KBOSGroundAgent]

Love seeing Cowhead outside the studio. But you have forgotten about Tom and Dan in Orlando as you are selling out arenas now.

[@joshbarker76]

Bert- “I think I put too many in here” also Bert, throws all of the rest of them in for the second batch

[@AboutCelery]

Bring up Bubba the love sponge...Joe Rogan loves Bubba.

[@dannyzuko7182]

Nobody knows who cowhead is without Bubba. youtube.com/@TheBubbaArmy

[@AboutCelery]

@@dannyzuko7182 damn str8...cowhead leaked the hogan $ex tape .....bring that up

[@dannyzuko7182]

@@AboutCelery For real. Then he gets Bubba's job. Bubba is so much better and bigger than Cowhead. Bert is from Tampa and never mentions Bubba. Odd. Ron and Ron were the next best radio in Tampa.

[@nicholaskrancher2693]

@@AboutCelery no he didn;t. Spice did. You don;t know wtf you're talking about

[@AboutCelery]

@Nicholas Krancher Spice stole it...and gave it to Don Buckwald, Caltas agent, you dipshit

[@jesserhodes7430]

Mike Calta aka cow head, is my local morning radio host. I remember Burt being on his show while he was coming up. Great to see these three together. Mike is a radio legend in Tampa Bay, he beat out Bubba the Love Sponge for best morning radio show.

[@stealedan]

Well...he didn't necessarily beat Bubba with merit, but you are correct. He did win.

[@Drainslime]

The second best Somethings burning iv seen

[@Moshtatoes]

i've been excited to get off work to watch this episode!

[@Ashe007]

Tampa bay in the house yooo❤️❤️❤️❤️🫡

[@caz1974rc]

Bobby look great

[@jarjamz5916]

48:00 I knew David Lucas wasn't black