016: Spill the Tea, Sis! | "Let's Talk About It" Podcast with S&D

[@shalomchipepera6733]

Ladies, thank you so much for this, so much wisdom here. My sister is going through the exact same thing that anxiety of being in the unknown about a relationship then feeling so uneasy and so much pressure if they are the one God has for you and I just sent her this video, coz I had watched it before but the Lord brought it back to me while I was praying for her. You just spoke straight from the Spirit and gave so much clarity, that God trusts us with this process of navigating dating, and Hes not watching us waiting for you to make a mistake but there’s freedom here to explore and navigate, because his word we have hidden in our hearts and keep as reference and His ways have now become our default, so we can trust the process and He has given us discernment and we can trust that too. So thank you so much. God bless. ❤️🙏🏽

[@jaimebobadilla2957]

This was great. Julie, thank you for touching on about you having a past and dating someone who doesn’t. I have struggled with the exact same thing so I appreciated hearing that reality.

[@savannapitts5850]

This changed my perspective so much. I have so much pressure and labels placed on me. I have cried through most of this🌼 thank you so much for your wise words

[@marisaanderson6302]

Thank you so so much! So much revelation from hearing about your walks! Keep spreading the truth ladies💜💜

[@yasminkhan07]

This was by far my favorite episode. Thank you Ladies 🙏👍 Brooke- you have brought so much clarity on the last 20 yrs of my heart's desire. Thank you for being vulnerable and open. This has blessed me immensely 💝

[@yasminkhan07]

A humungous thank you to Sons and Daughters for streaming, binge worthy topics with relevance 🎉🕊

[@ArdenAndChristian]

@@yasminkhan07 We just want to keep the conversations going with truth! Let us know if there are any in particular that you would like to hear!

[@heidibremer1683]

So good I also had a negative attitude of Dating until God got me to go through a journey on why I felt that way. With accountability I’m now dating and have been for the last couple of months and it’s been fun meeting new guys and I have to remind myself “just have fun” and not have the pressure on “is he the one”

[@Vavavoum-gr8]

Yes.i feel the pressure too

[@ArdenAndChristian]

We hope this video can help with releasing that pressure and enjoying the process!

[@madisonclark4900]

Thank you all for sharing. Love this!

[@liyandamzizi8647]

Thank you so much for this video...so many questions i had were answered....some powerful nuggets from Juli

[@LaraLorentz]

so good

[@sarahf5980]

Loving the background

[@anajadorcas5113]

I relate to Brooke's fears so much!! And totally random: I think I really love the name *Brooke*

[@Vavavoum-gr8]

Am a simple girl , when I see a sons and daughters video, I click!

[@priscillatasso]

This is good! Thank you girls and thank you Julie from bringing that thought of stepping back for the hard cord daters lol so true!

[@ohemaa1748]

Loved this so much. Thanks guys.

[@ivriahfayth1665]

i'm literally highschool Brooke 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@lillyforChrist]

Loved it thanks! 😊❤ I admire your honesty and openness. Especially yours Brooke as you are still single - which I don't get!??? Btw. No valentine's pick up line - video this year? I was hoping for it. So much fun the past 2 years 😆 Brooke: what did one brick say to the other? Lego of me! 😂😂😂

[@ArdenAndChristian]

😂😂😂

[@luthandophiri7265]

Ohhhh I'm just gonna watch this for a minute or two. Me 25 minutes later: *still here 😂🌷

[@ArdenAndChristian]

And we're glad you are!

[@hilmanamupala8867]

Exactly the same when i clicked it. Very insightful. Brooke thank you so much for all that wisdom about righting your wrongs in dating

[@elylareina404]

as long as the middle age " grandsons" don't influence the coming generation ones...hands down

[@streetofdreams4538]

I really appreciate your hearts in this, but I don't see the wisdom of dating personally. If we believe God guides us in everything else, then why not let Him lead us regarding our lifemate, since He already knows who it is? We just need to trust and obey Him on this, as with everything else. What makes sense to me is courtship, where you do only group activities with the opposite sex, and if God is leading you to each other, you enter into courtship only then (to consider marriage). No unnaturally close and emotionally-involved 1:1 relationships from the start, and if done wisely, no broken hearts! Not out of fear of dating, but out of confidence.

[@ArdenAndChristian]

Hey Chris, good point! We do believe that God leads us in every area of our lives, but in dating especially we can give too much attention to social norms and it can cause us to miss out on hearing God in this area. That's why we wanted to break down stereotypes and misconceptions so we can have a fresh slate to approaching dating!

[@streetofdreams4538]

@@ArdenAndChristian Thank you for the thoughtful reply! I agree that our thinking can get clouded by the social attitudes and norms of those around us. But having considered it extensively, I truly can't see the purpose of dating itself for Christians, no matter how it's done. (I'm assuming we're both referring to dating here as the standard trial-and-error approach, which is based primarily on our own efforts and secondarily on checking in with God to confirm our opinions and judgments.) It just doesn't fit with what I see in Proverbs 3:5-6 telling us not to rely on our own understanding to bring things about, but to rely fully on God to bring the right things to pass. Of course this doesn't mean we shouldn't take any action at all, such as asking in prayer that God would give us a spouse if it's His will, or getting Godly advice from mature believers. But our part, and that advice, should be focused on in the realm of faith--on our trusting God's leading by the Spirit to the right person instead of trying to reason that out for ourselves, and making sure there are no hindrances in our lives to hearing clearly. If the point of dating, at least for Christians, is to get to know someone, why can't we accomplish the same thing more successfully and safely in group and family settings that can help maintain an appropriate distance while still allowing for deeper one-on-one chats, yet avoiding the likelihood of too much emotional or physical intimacy and subsequent awkwardness for all? I just honestly find it strange to need to formally establish and then possibly "break up" one-on-one relationships just to be able to talk and get know each other. And I'm not saying unmarried couples should never go out on their own, but by that time they should know enough to know if God is leading them to court or not.

[@Laurel_Kay]

@@streetofdreams4538 - Hey Chris, Just a thoughtful question 😊 Have you also considered that you will be dating the person God has for you before you actually marry them?

[@streetofdreams4538]

@@Laurel_Kay Well, actually, no. I'm not sure if you know what I meant by "dating." As I explained above, I understand Christian "dating" to mean being open to going out with multiple people in order to eventually meet the right one. You might hope your first try is the one, but you're not sure. So it's about trial and error. But spending one-on-one time with someone you already know is the one for you to marry isn't dating; it's courtship. And if you don't know yet if someone is the one for you, no need to date or court them; friendship is enough while you wait for God's leading. Of course that sounds ridiculous if you're without God, and you don't know how else you can know for sure. But why do we who know God limit Him in this area? My point is that, if we're careful to maintain a close relationship with God so we can hear His voice, we shouldn't need to engage in the trial-and-error approach to relationships of "dating," the way those who don't have His guidance do. So many promises in His Word about leading us; we just need to believe!

[@Laurel_Kay]

@@streetofdreams4538 - Oh right gotcha. In my mind I didnt lnow the difference between dating and courtship. Could your understanding differ because of how you see "dating" and "courtship"? I dont really see a difference. I would say I would only date one person at a time. If I'm interested on someone, I would date them and only them. Not open myself up to anyone else. And I would also class that as courtship