Unrealistic DLC - the train actually showed up. Basically unplayable.
@papasmurfette0074 жыл бұрын
In fact it showed up three times at one station. Southern should be applauded for hiring a driver with such dedication to improving the statistical bottom line...
@whatdoyoumeanbro49644 жыл бұрын
Lmfaoooo
@ok75134 жыл бұрын
According to a 2017 test I made, southern comes second worst... after Thameslink!
@TransportCambs3 жыл бұрын
obvious lie, the train is a paid actor. smh my head
@yourlocaltrainenthusiast3 жыл бұрын
SOUTHERN R GREAT SOFUCKOFF
@BeastyBill884 жыл бұрын
Southern Railway wishes all its customers a happy 2014 and apologises for the late arrival of this message.
@noostroi4 жыл бұрын
And we're away! [ immediately applies emergency brakes ] 😂😂😂
@cbawitlife3 жыл бұрын
@SAM SOLO bruh.
@Eydermann4564 жыл бұрын
As a man from the railway and use these units everyday, it pained me to watch you monumentally bugger up every operational requirement you needed to do 😂 you didn't turn on the AWS, DRA, DVD etc. You didn't turn your lights on. And you didn't close the cab door behind you. I'm so upset 😭
@Seathal4 жыл бұрын
As a man who takes public transport the most bothersome element is the half dozen emergency brakes he's done by mistake xD
@sbrw43164 жыл бұрын
the throttle is so hard to use, the train always shoves it all the way up or down to emergency break, thats why i use A and D
@t04sty464 жыл бұрын
Yeah using power handles with the mouse is always a pain
@philipbossy48344 жыл бұрын
Good to know that red signals are actually just a very severe speed limit rather than a sign to stop.
@kristofkellens32644 жыл бұрын
flies past glynde, actually stops, puts it in reverse and manages to go past it again. ahhh marvelous, that's why the colonel is the best at tsw
@Baleur4 жыл бұрын
How much more easily the game would have been if he learnt the keyboard controls for forward and back... xD
@dacookiebandit4 жыл бұрын
One set of Grandparents live in Eastbourne, the other in Polegate, Stepdad is from near Glynde and went to college in Lewes. This video is basically just one massive adolescent travel PTSD trigger...
@colonelfailure4 жыл бұрын
More than happy to help you relive the horror/joy.
@FilipLamparski4 жыл бұрын
What's the bet that RMT are going to use this very video for their "and that's why we can't have driver-only operation" argument next time they feel like going on a strike?
@CATASTEROID9344 жыл бұрын
Well at least it's not a bunch of Pacers lashed together with zip ties and electrical tape so it's not all doom and gloom, the passengers are spared the diabolical "seating" of those accursed things that stubbornly refuse to cease operating.
@JJII1614 жыл бұрын
"It's going to be close"! *blows past the station at 90mph*
@nyooom74674 жыл бұрын
1:27 Big Lads more like *A B S O L U T E U N I T*
@Fungusfilms4 жыл бұрын
So it turns out you're the legendary kid who only did the first page of the examination, because it didn't have a printed instruction to turn the page.
@jshj804 жыл бұрын
In before the "What button to make the conductor announcements?" post.
@Northlander744 жыл бұрын
YES!!!! 2020 is off to a classic start with a return to TSW!!!! :D
@AnonYmous-dh2zt4 жыл бұрын
My hometown (Eastbourne)! Also, yes it is always f***ing raining, considering it's called the "Sunshine Coast". Also, yes again, Southern is the s***iest Train Operating Company in the UK.
@al3xand3rl3wis34 жыл бұрын
Between Northern and Southern the UK is awful for rail traffic.
@ah13stu74 жыл бұрын
Get the bulldozer out on those pesky red signals. Get in the old class 31 to give us even more pleasure.
@jeffbishop94044 жыл бұрын
100% improvement on Southern Rail services there Colonel! Why haven't Southern asked you to drive for them yet?
@moparacker4 жыл бұрын
I so wanted that "8" in the cab to be a button that says "eight" when pressed.
@mobiletransportvideo3 жыл бұрын
“Next Stop Polegate. Passengers for polegate should be travelling in the first 5 Coaches only. You can thank your silly driver for this”
@otg374nowdiscontinued73 жыл бұрын
30:57 'No no no. It's not an aeroplane!' Made my week!
@doomotron61604 жыл бұрын
Colonel Failure: This is why Southern sucks. Southern: Stops sucking and becomes one of the most reliable operators in the country.
@kimjongunlol1934 жыл бұрын
Doomotron Never happen sorry
@doomotron61604 жыл бұрын
@@kimjongunlol193 Southern has a timeliness percentage over 90%. It is higher than a lot of other operators.
@anthonyexmouth4 жыл бұрын
"Frodo clutching his magic ring" Well thanks, ruined my keyboard when i spat my coffee all over it.
@airspeed_alive4 жыл бұрын
Things I love... DTG Releasing a new route... Things I think about "OMG Colonel will do a new video soon"... Thing I love MOST: Watching Colonels new video including many hilarious gags!
@trainstrains14 жыл бұрын
Hilarious! It reminds me of being at work teaching trainees in the simulators. It's more fun to watch when you're not teaching someone though.
@nstheboss4 жыл бұрын
Do you have any tips on how to get on the ladder to become a train driver? All the vacancies are qualified train drivers :( probably not the place to ask but as your a driver trainer you might be able to help me
@trainstrains14 жыл бұрын
@@nstheboss It depends what Country you want to be a driver in. I'm in Australia and we're always hiring drivers in my city. Often railways promote from within so if you can any job on a railway that might be a way to go.
@nstheboss4 жыл бұрын
@@trainstrains1 thank you for the advice :)
@kirkfranklinboy19864 жыл бұрын
AWS Amazon Web services LOL
@scmtuk36624 жыл бұрын
If you keep insisting on going straight for B3, instead of applying a smaller level of breaking power, there wouldn't be a risk of an Emergency Stop. (Also, A to increase throttle/decrease brakes, D to decrease throttle/increase brake. No more magnets.)
@Raayhan27043 жыл бұрын
Naa this man makes me laugh 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣, great content great voice over
@tomparmenter86654 жыл бұрын
This brings back memories of relying on Southern Snail. I once waited an hour and a half for a late train. It got to the next station and then turned around. Skipping about 10 stations. I worked from home that day.
@RTM-Sports4 жыл бұрын
I always thought Hampden Park was in Scotland, a bit outside Southern Rails jurisdiction. But I suppose it's like every other location in the UK/Common Wealth/North America, so good they named it twice... Excellent video and commentary btw
@SteadyBob4 жыл бұрын
I have noticed a few comments saying that it would be easier if the Colonel used a keyboard, it may well be easier, but, we don't come here for easier, we come here for 'Fun and Failure' which is what we get in abundance. Long may it continue. Carry On.
@matsv2014 жыл бұрын
Danish intercity trains got a really cool solution where the front door is the control panel. If you open the door, you lock away the control panel.
@mrmcbaldspot4 жыл бұрын
I don't think the Empire had Wookies in mind when they designed her, Chewie.
@PazDAlma4 жыл бұрын
God I can’t watch this, I’m gonna play Transport Fever 2 URGENT 😂
@daviddryden80884 жыл бұрын
DRA-the Derailing Assistant. LOL!
@gamingwithslowpsycho15074 жыл бұрын
A 377 tight? Try the class 153 before they disappear.... only one of the driving cabs are original and full depth
@2CraftySeniors4 жыл бұрын
Good fun, Colonel! A few laughs are always good for making the day brighter.
@tomosmerivale62974 жыл бұрын
As you referenced M&S, I work in M&S and currently on break
@colonelfailure4 жыл бұрын
Not just any break though...
@MarsMullo14 жыл бұрын
At 6:08 there is a need for the smoothing tool between the tracks. You can change games Colonel but you can't escape your pet terrain peeve.😉
@alkohallick29014 жыл бұрын
Best thing I watched all day!
@MrRaymondo0074 жыл бұрын
That was fun Thanks Colonel
@coinman19724 жыл бұрын
Probably should use the keyboard when using these locos. just a suggestion :)
@3ftsteamrwy124 жыл бұрын
Being from the US, I have to ask...is the distain that UK citizens seem to have for the former Southern Railway system in the "grouping" era connected to its rather geriatric collection of elderly steam locos in the classic era as opposed to the other 3 companies with their flying scots, castles and other more modern locomotives?
@Tyrope4 жыл бұрын
Disclaimer: not a UK citizen, I just live in the UK. Nah, it's just that Southern Railway is tits. Not "the tits", just tits.
@colonelfailure4 жыл бұрын
Southern is a rail operator that has a deserved reputation for unreliability. There's nothing more to it than that.
@underwaterdick4 жыл бұрын
The modern disdain for Southern has NOTHING to do with anything before the franchise went to them. It has everything to do with their poor performance, customer service and infamous strikes. Then again, Northern just had their franchise cancelled, and South Western Railway are at rock bottom in customers eyes currently. Historic locomotives and regions are irrelevant.
@jaydenrusson3714 жыл бұрын
Do more Train things, you make my day :)
@Northlander744 жыл бұрын
Berwick upon Tweed...right on the Northumberland border to Scotland
@underwaterdick4 жыл бұрын
So, not quite north then! Gotta hit Perth before you are truly approaching the north! 😉
@Northlander744 жыл бұрын
@@underwaterdick North of England
@woodchipnz4 жыл бұрын
I'm (originally) from Seaford. DLC bought as soon as I saw it had Seaford in it.
@volvotrident48354 жыл бұрын
I love Seaford lol
@planetjakebomb23 күн бұрын
I love how Colonel blew past a station and it was the ONLY time he didn't use the emergency brake... 😂
@Erinxh4 жыл бұрын
This was a really good entertaining episode! It reminded me of your infamous Liverpool approach, a true Epic Failure!
@timternet67304 жыл бұрын
3 Failures are good! Try 4 next time.
@thelastpilot45824 жыл бұрын
Flight sims, Farm sims, Car and lorry sims all interface with external hardware but train sims don't. Moving analogue levers with keyboard keys takes away a lot of the reality for me. I have over 1079 hrs in TSW but it still infuriates me.
@papasmurfette0074 жыл бұрын
There are 3rd party programs (open source I think) that allow remapping joystick axes and buttons to keyboard commands, although they may be hit and miss. I know some have used flight controls with recent Train Simulator versions. I always envisioned using the 3-way quadrant installed sideways to operate throttle, train brake and engine brake. I couldn't find a saved bookmark, so you'll need to google it if interested...
@thelastpilot45824 жыл бұрын
Thanks I mentioned them to Matt (on Discord) he suggested they can go out of sinc, I believe I have looked but to be honest I did not entirely understand them.
@jacktaylor90784 жыл бұрын
I'm only just seeing this, but this guys really funny. Made my Week 😂😂😂
@ethanchernicoff57504 жыл бұрын
Can you do a purely passenger episode?
@maxgleaves54544 жыл бұрын
Pretty confident that Northern Fail makes Southern Rail look efficient.... with or without the Colonel at the helm
@aircooledorion4 жыл бұрын
are you sure this is southern railways I could have swore I saw empty seats normally you have to arm wrestle the pregnant woman for the seat and just stand there looking at the people who have seats and wonder how on earth they managed it and who you must kill/bribe to get one? It is nice to know that northern rail can call on CF to demonstrate his keeping to time table expertise and pass on his professional train driving skills to any who wish to advance their abilities[ to the next rail franchise to take over]
@Lord_Stannis4 жыл бұрын
Some say Frodo is still in the south of England swamp clutching his magic ring. Great video original as ever!
@papasmurfette0074 жыл бұрын
More hosing action than a fireman's appliance convention...
@maz16992 жыл бұрын
1:45
@fighterpilot51053 жыл бұрын
Stop making me snort rum and coke, Colonel. It burns...And, I'm thinking that was a Fawltey door.
@airspeed_alive4 жыл бұрын
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO! @ Creeping past the signal and hope it don't notice! Loooool! Brilliant Colonel! You make me laugh so much!
@jochenlippert23534 жыл бұрын
One of the few train lines in Britain I've seen myself (not used yet tho) :)
4 жыл бұрын
Basically avoid this game if you have AMD hardware because the fucking game does not work well.
@anthonypecoraro54724 жыл бұрын
Try driving with the keyboard, it’s easier. I think you were able to pass the signal because you used “reload last checkpoint” things like that cause a glitch where you can pass red signals without issue.
@colonelfailure4 жыл бұрын
Easier!? Get on my power level!
@OscarLovesVil3 жыл бұрын
Learning the configuration of the glorious Southern 377 Part 54.
@mikefj20044 жыл бұрын
Let’s rock, ok we’re away (pushes emergency break😂😂😂😂😂)
@WCML7304 жыл бұрын
It's Ber Wick (Berwick) and its Glye nd (Glynde) (How to say it)
@earlofdoncaster50184 жыл бұрын
Do a steam train.
@andrewtimmis34824 жыл бұрын
From Eastborune, can confirm, is raining...
@DoctorMagdaki4 жыл бұрын
After the episode you must have been having nightmares about emergency brakes. No, no, emergency. Lol
@iLied124 жыл бұрын
Can you try again?
@berenscott89994 жыл бұрын
That point where you realise there is a keyboard button for speeding up and slowing down :P
@zekrom65374 жыл бұрын
he knows but he want it to be more realistic but well the game really loves that emergency brake xD
@berenscott89994 жыл бұрын
@@zekrom6537 when you drive a train you dont have to take your eyes off the prize to adjust the throttle. ;)
@cabe_bedlam4 жыл бұрын
Seems I will never fulfil my dream as a warning beep conductor.
@elizabethlineforlife4 жыл бұрын
Open The Flippin Doors Lets Go I’m Going This Way This Time We’re Going Down Hill I’ve Got The Hammer Down Now Got You Up To Max Flippin What Not Funny
@colonelfailure4 жыл бұрын
Yup, I think you've got the whole script there.
@fenixxark4 жыл бұрын
I laughed quite a bit
@baardk24 жыл бұрын
LOL! :) That f..... emergency. I hate it too :)
@Mass_hole5084 жыл бұрын
New TSW from the Colonel! Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!
@lastationproductions11 ай бұрын
The train announcements always get me lol 😂
@Mass_hole5084 жыл бұрын
Does anyone here play TSW on ps4? If so how is it?
@ianpilkington20374 жыл бұрын
I do, it's ok
@Mass_hole5084 жыл бұрын
Thanks
@bb-36534 жыл бұрын
Omgd, imagine this man was a real train driver 😭😭😭😭😭😭
@colonelfailure4 жыл бұрын
You should be so lucky.
@GWRProductions-kg9pt4 жыл бұрын
use the bloody keyboard
@colonelfailure4 жыл бұрын
Where's the fun in that?
@Roe-se9nd4 жыл бұрын
Your commentary is priceless.
@southwest15854 жыл бұрын
The door is meant to open your not too big
@shilohslim18934 жыл бұрын
Eastbourne to Brighton's for kids - for the full Southern experience, go for the weekday 07h20 from Three Bridges to London Bridge on the Thameslink... *shudder*
@radyab59774 жыл бұрын
But aren't you a developer for dovetail Games who made TSW
@breakcoregivesmewo0od6114 жыл бұрын
i think in one of the livesteams he mentioned it was more on the pr/community mangement side then developing for dovetail
@colonelfailure4 жыл бұрын
I do player research for them on a part time basis. If this video appears biased, that'd be why.
@gerurban4 жыл бұрын
Hello! Please tell me if there are free dlc for this game?
@Howrider653 жыл бұрын
Another Dovetail ripoff.
@hunterrider4522 жыл бұрын
Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep
@nialldub4 жыл бұрын
Classic Failure, love it.
@sosig13414 жыл бұрын
You sound a lot like Sam from the train simulator KZbin channel
@colonelfailure4 жыл бұрын
There's a really good reason for that...
@marquestainter41314 жыл бұрын
"Colonel Emergency Stop!!"
@giftmafunga88803 жыл бұрын
Southern trains are the best
@hi24x4 жыл бұрын
Bombardier manufactured them from 2001 to 2003
@haydonsheard21684 жыл бұрын
It was actually manufactured up in till 2014 and then they converted their 375s and reclassified them 377/3 a three car formation
@muhammedibrahimsarfraz87704 жыл бұрын
This was a very good simulation. Just one tip I learnt.All electrostars in this simulation always need to have the automatic door open before u can close the cab door ;)
@breakcoregivesmewo0od6114 жыл бұрын
refreshing episode inbetween the other series! by the way did the multiplayer ever make the cut for this game? In September 2016, Dovetail Games announced Train Sim World, a new train simulator using Epic's Unreal Engine 4 and featuring a multiplayer as well as the ability to walk around in the world.
@Adam-zg7tw4 жыл бұрын
No multiplayer yet. They haven't ruled it out
@hunterrider4522 жыл бұрын
Learn how to drive a train mate
@tp1754 жыл бұрын
FINALLY ecw
@mobiletransportvideo4 жыл бұрын
Colonel, you probably had a few cars hanging off the back end of the platform at Hampden Park
@baronburgamot2434 жыл бұрын
Really enjoy our videos, and I ... live there, I live in Eastbourne