AITA for leaving after my mom joked about my childhood and calling me her practice kid? (Full Post)

[@islandsunset]

The irony that mom suggested a girl in therapy to go in therapy when she is the one who needs it the most.

[@jonathankline9181]

I believe it was male btw

[@THEbeetrootsoup]

​@@jonathankline9181ye he said 19M at the start

[@ofirmenahem1723]

​@@jonathankline9181are u asuming his gender in 2023💀💀💀💀🥵🥵🥵 Jk,😂 i just love this meme

[@yohaneslouise2961]

​@@ofirmenahem1723it's in the beginning he's 19M??? Are you even reading?

[@ofirmenahem1723]

@@yohaneslouise2961 its seems you cant to read / dont know what jk mean

[@gred_and_forge]

OP was right that it wasn't drastic or dramatic, but let's face it, OP's mom took care of that in the first post. OP went the right route with talking to stepdad about what happened. poor guy, he sounds great but seemed disappointed and caught off guard to know his wife was drinking at a toddlers birthday party, it make some wonder what else she hides from him and what is the facade she puts on around him. Even worse, if stepdad wasn't there and OP doesn't live with them, who knows how long after the other parents left the 4yo was left alone with a drunk parent watching after her. OPs mom joked about how OP was a practice kid, but clearly she still hasn't learned how to be a better mom, making fun of one kids trauma and putting the other in danger by watching her alone while drunk

[@zettagotbored9341]

It really is that she seems to take pride in it for me. Like I have heard the "oldest was practice for the youngest" joke. I've seen people crack a beer at a party that was meant to be primarily for a child. It's not uncommon for a parent to tell a story they fun find funny but the kid finds mortifying. It's that she seems to take pride in intentionally creating negative situations for both children with these things going over the top as our prime example.

[@Mandy-ve2sh]

Great stepdad though, let's be honest he's the real dad in spirit. Just nothing but respect for that man

[@jevgenkova]

0:50 what kind of sick person finds it funny that their 7 year old child felt the need to collect the change around the house and give it to their parents just so they would stop fighting ?

[@StrangeThisChangedByItself]

I think most parents would cry if they heard this

[@melissaharris3389]

I wonder what the other womens' reaction was to hearing their hostess laugh about such a heartbreaking story of a child experiencing trauma. Were they all just to drunk to care at that point, or were they all inwardly cringing? If they were all drunk, how did they take their kids home? The more you think about the situation with these wine moms, the worse it gets.

[@kuroyukikazekanade7557]

Ngl my mum would find it funny but in an endearing way, in a way that touches the parents hearts. But not in whatever fked way the OPs mum is doing. She needs some srs help. Like the 7 cents story is one thing but the next story was just downright messed up. Like how can any parent think that's funny???? Like bruh????

[@jackorluna6480]

I get a feeling that she’s hiding her true colors from her husband. I do feel so sorry for OP no child deserves this, leaving such a traumatic scar on a child just so she can call them a practice child & laugh about the struggles of scraping money, let’s see if she’ll be laughing about getting divorced or being put in a elderly care home

[@YRi5u]

Op was hella mature on all facts. That mother needs help and to watch her words, less she have no children when she gets old

[@laurenc4138]

Yup. That’s what happens when the “practice” kid was really the “neglected and practically raised themselves” kid. I feel horrible for OP idk what kind of absolute monster brags about being a terrible human being to their kid and giving them PTSD from a crappy childhood, she talked about horrible trauma like she was remembering the time OP fell into a pool or something silly, not “how hysterical we were such abusive dbags my young child knew at the young age of 7 he had to fix our immaturity and problems”

[@Monica_bondevik]

Little OP was so sweet trying to get their parents to stop arguing by trying to give them any money they could fine, that would break my heart if i was their mother not something I would laugh about

[@BaeBunni]

you would think they would take a hard look at themselves if their kid did that, not make fun of it later in life.

[@TheGosgosh]

Legit sociopath move on the mother‘s part to even casually tell others and joke about it.

[@Roanokem]

It makes sense why she couldn’t keep the original dad in her life. She sounds pathetic as a mom. Imagine not being able to communicate and lie about it to your husband.

[@hunterblane610]

To be fair, it sound alike the original dad wasn't great either. The stepdad seems to be the only reasonable parent here.

[@elijahparks2417]

@@hunterblane610who knows he was young and maybe mom coerced him into hating dad

[@hunterblane610]

@@elijahparks2417 Maybe, but the fact that he seemingly had no problem getting in loud arguments with his wife wife right in front of his daughter is a bad sign.

[@DustyHoney]

@@elijahparks2417You realize that’s not really a thing, right? There are no psychologists that validate the idea of parental alienation. It’s completely legal, not emotional. It’s actually extremely difficult to manipulate someone into hating a loved one, believe it or not.

[@Hermionee-Jean-Granger]

@@DustyHoney I disagree. Parental Alienation DOES happen and it's actually very easy to manipulate children. Though in this specific case I'm on the same page as you, I don't think it was done here either.

[@ashlearhodeskim3112]

I’m actually pissed at the mothers friends for not calling her out for that horrible things she said.

[@melissaharris3389]

I bet they all went home saying, 'I can't believe such and such said that!' And, 'she got so drunk at her own kids party.' This is what happens with alcoholics.

[@speedywaiter]

the stepdad is awesome

[@Sigart]

So I live in Denmark, where serving alcohol at a kid''s bday is perfectly normal. Getting drunk is not. If you're at a bday, especially if it's your own kid (and they're fucking 4!) you're responsible for everything running smoothly and definitely you're expected to keep drinking to a level where you can still be responsible for your own kid. On another note, my parents also sometimes joke about me and my sister beign practise for the 3rd. But not like this. It never sounds like we're... expendable. This was just.. really horrifying. Definitely hurtful. Momma here needs to realise that what she says means things, even if she doesn't intend them to.

[@BaeBunni]

if they live in the US you know the people that started prohibition, yea alcohol is always gonna be weird especially the idea of kids drinking table beer.

[@suan333]

Exactly, parents sometimes joke with the "practice" child but talking about changing nappies or hiw to avoid being pissed or shat.

[@Sigart]

@@suan333 Or even how to raise them right, tbh XD

[@AmyPieterse]

OP’s mother is a putrid narcissist. Reminds me of my mom 😢

[@ratnadamay8414]

My mom was crying so hard when I bought her nice shoes and clothes and spend money on her so she can have a nice vacation. She said cried and said to me that she did not deserve all of it bc of how little she gave me growing up .. she was a single mother of two, dad left with his mistress .. grow up poor but my mom did her best to house, feed, and educate us … she said that she was happy that I’m able to buy things I want that she cannot buy it for me … Reading OP story about his mother, truly open my eyes of how lucky to have my mom..

[@Fiercetits]

Going no contact was the best decision for OP, mom clearly doesn’t care about him which might be some deep seated hated for his bio dad.

[@Razzberry_dollz]

Mothers like that are worst their their abusive spouses

[@lechatrelou6393]

That's just mean seriously, she is the mother, she has to be aware of lot's of embarrassing stories about her kids. She can't just make fun of the eldest just because he was a pratice child or tried to make her stop fighting at home.

[@FinancialWoes]

NTA sometimes you just have to get out of a toxic situation, even if you love them.

[@bobjim7313]

You wouldn't believe how common this is my dude.

[@BaeBunni]

always screwed up making fun of a 7 year old, all he did was try to fix a broken marriage because they probably were screaming about money so he thought if he found it everything will be okay.

[@ashlearhodeskim3112]

It’s clear and horrible that the mother blames OP for all her younger years troubles when really it was her own actions and probably the exs actions too that made life hard not op. She has no right to call her self a parent specially if she is drinking at a 4 year olds party and thinks that somehow makes her a better parent to her second child.

[@Hafsajjbb]

Tag me for another update

[@stinkmymeat]

read a new book

[@Hafsajjbb]

@@stinkmymeat no thanks

[@Stix-.-]

Update?

[@michellealinateague9892]

There won't be one. OP deleted their account

[@ambisinister1190]

there’s no other, the person on reddit hasn’t posted in a montg

[@weirdonoid7291]

If your kid is so scared of you fighting they bring you money they found to try and stop you that means you are a HORRIBLE parent and probably shouldn't tell other people about how much you screwed up

[@sunlastname]

Honestly, im proud of how OP handled that, they made the right choice and did so civilly. im also glad their stepdad was so understanding and kind.

[@dontaejones7419]

Any "normal" mother would be absoloutely destroyed if their baby not only heard them arguing with their father but actively hunted down spare change and handed it over as an attempt to make them stop. The fact that she thinks it's funny now, or was playing along and is too proud/ignorant to admit it's not, is sad in of itself.

[@alexwolfplush7523]

that must have hurt so badly, i would have been so angry and im glad your step dad decided to be supportive and is actually helping you keep contact with your half sister while limiting contact with her.

[@allenkagami2438]

I can't imagine a 7 year old kid scraping and looking for change around the house so that their parents could stop fighting My heart breaks and aches at the image of it i'm really glad op is in a better position with a caring step-father who has her back

[@suan333]

Glad OP has a person like Stepdad (or dad as they call him) in their lives.

[@RedLya]

Nah that was DEF needed!! Am glad they handled the situation and are doing much better, there are good parts of the internet 👍 some parts can save ppl’s lives, it saved mine and others Ik wouldn’t be here if we didn’t have the internet in our rough battles. The person was definitely NOT ah

[@DaAmoo]

Tbh op very mature for a 19 year old

[@ciaras3170]

initially I was gonna say NAH but the response your mom gave was coldhearted. Everyone handles pain differently and to laugh at your struggles and growth is understandable but when she invalidated how op felt🤦🏽‍♀️ just so sad. Going NC for your own sanity is never a bad thing imo

[@DrhpJerhtun]

this seems like the best case senario good on op

[@rebeccasanchez7971]

Talk about being the oldest kid, I get it I’ve often been looked at as the one who has to put on the grown up pants at one point I felt like more of a live in nanny then a daughter and my parents were also very young and struggled a lot I was blessed with two loving grandparents, my middle sister though she was wanted she wasn’t a mistake and she got a side of my parents that was very pretty and much more loving right now home life is crazy and my family says I have to step up as I am the oldest truth is I plan cutting off contact with both my parents once I turn 18 I’m tired and done no one will ever care about me but rather what I can provide for them I hate that I have to give up my life to help out my parents I hope when I have kids I can love them in all the ways my parents could never love me

[@RIA_HWA]

No person deserves for their parents to say that type of stuff to them know what you did perfectly OK you’re not an asshole your none of that Your mom clearly doesn’t care about you because she literally made fun of your childhood which was terrible she’s not a good person she’s not a good mom and if you need to take space from her and Low contact do so because the relationship doesn’t revolve around her it revolves around both of you and if you don’t wanna be in it no more you can leave

[@sanddagger36]

sad to hear her still trying to defend her mom. News flash, you can provide for a kid 3 meals and clothing and everything but still be a bad parent.

[@Maninawig]

Good on OP.

[@UZI_1488]

My mom does the same exact shit. Imma go ask if my mom had a secret child before I was born

[@AuntieCupid]

Are there any more updates?

[@J_Cizin]

I can’t believe that a parent would say that about their child and then lie to their partner about what actually happened. If I would be OPs stepdad I’d get the mom help even if she refused, because having alcohol at a kids party is just plain stupid and irresponsible behavior, doesn’t matter if there’s one person who isn’t drinking alcohol things can still go from bad to worse. And why make fun of the fact that you were poor and your child had only one pair of shoes and also make fun of how they behaved later in life? Pretty much shows that you’re a bad parent to your child and it could happen again, it’s nothing to laugh about.

[@lostsoul6252]

Call her a practice parent

[@juobuz6771]

19 yo and so mature

[@Sunghoon_penguinཐིཋྀ]

😢

[@AzureShin4]

Step dad is a bamf

[@Message_daily]

I have no words all that I can think of is bro