Jessi Klein: “I Would Like to Get Married Before I Get Herpes” - Full Special

Jessi Klein shares the list of things she discloses before sex, details a discussion she had with her gynecologist about freezing her eggs and reveals some of the pickup lines guys will try on her.
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#CCStandUp #ComedyCentral
Original airdate: March 4, 2011
About Comedy Central Presents:
These half-hour specials showcased some of the best up-and-coming comedians of the moment. The show was a pivotal stepping stone for many of today’s stand-up stars, including Dave Chappelle, Patton Oswalt, Amy Schumer, Jim Gaffigan, Kevin Hart, Zach Galifianakis, Dane Cook, Bill Burr, Wanda Sykes and Maria Bamford.
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[@TheTexican05]

Props to her for calling out Cosmo and the diamond industry in one short set! 👏 🍺

[@peterschild4015]

Yes! She was such a huge part of the genius behind Big Mouth... Jessi, you can freeze my eggs any time!!

[@JustHereForCats]

She covered a lot of ground in that amount of time. I’m impressed 😂😂

[@larrykinari1872]

“You don’t know you’re beautiful; That’s what makes you beautiful.” - One Direction

[@mateoneedham6807]

This woman is awesome...smart...funny...interesting...contemporary...a total 10!!!

[@JasonTaylor90210]

As well as annoying.

[@steveotatooed]

Yah that's why shes single at 35

[@overbuiltlimited]

Smart? Maybe. Funny and interesting, not even a little. Paint by numbers female comic.

[@davidstorrs]

@overbuiltlimited Tell me you're an incel without saying you're an incel.

[@kewlade719]

She needs her own Netflix special...so good

[@NicholasDoering]

That's super rough for comedy central

[@JasonTaylor90210]

Hell no. She's so annoying!

[@timumbra2476]

@@NicholasDoering I like it rough

[@illonahunt1328]

Same boo. Same.

[@illonahunt1328]

Sandpaper rough, I mean. 💃

[@QuoixYanni]

" Maybe I should do it more like a falcon like AELH AELH " 😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Shambolicoholic]

I'm glad this popped up in my feed. I saw it years and years ago... but it's still an excellent set.

[@6thface]

Excellent. This woman is going places.

[@InstantOnyx]

Hilarious! Loved it. More please.😂

[@ericfingerman]

“You’ll say it after” 😂

[@marcsaturnino1041]

She nailed it 😂

[@withsarahmac]

This is the funniest set I’be seen in a long time - LOVE!!

[@hollydaniels4205]

so awesome!! hahaha!!! more jessi klein please!!!

[@tonytownsell2481]

This video scrolled up and I’m glad it did! Very good

[@unappreciatedtreehouse821]

I've looked for this episode for a long time. Funny.

[@N3orion]

That was great. Wasn’t sure to start and he had me hooked

[@solidstehl9546]

Seriously needs her own Netflix special and then some.... one of the most promising realistic stand up comedians I've seen in a while.

[@grimrevan4660]

She just needs to sell a lot of tickets and she can have one. Kat Williams said so himself. They take the number of tickets someone has sold in the last year and will pay $1 per ticket sold, but I'm sure they require a minimum. Gotta keep those receipts.

[@TheREVTALKtv]

Consistent chuckles, not laugh out loud, but interesting and entertaining. I wanted more, a good set.

[@danielleaugustine2241]

That was so funny! I laughed so much throughout the set and her quirkiness was such a treat. Well done!

[@richardwillhide1157]

Great set

[@jeffreytackett3922]

That voice is like a cheese grater on my brain.

[@Wes-mv9zj]

So good!

[@holdenhiggins8887]

"Always a bridesmaid, never an astronaut" is a line from the Dessa song Shrimp 14:42

[@mistermack4987]

Weird seeing the adult version of Jessie Glazer

[@N-e-o1]

Glazer? I just met her.

[@leftisbest7173]

@@N-e-o1 hahaha. I see what you did there...

[@righteouswhippingstick]

@@leftisbest7173 you watched? oh, you just saw them afterwards? like before it dried up or after it set in? thats wierd honestly but i dont care, whatever, i dont judge, for that, too badly, once.

[@bwrightaway2877]

Good stuff!

[@jenniferkong2443]

she is so real for this

[@msftsma]

I loar ir on rhw falcon impression!! LMFAO!!

[@brucemorris3830]

I was like 40 before anybody told me the dreidel was basically Jewish Junior Craps 😂😂😂 idk I thought you just spun the top and went “yay Chanukah” or something 🤣 Never realized there was money or chocolate riding on the thing!! But what the hell do I know, though, I was brought up catholic lol

[@Techniclay]

Fell in love lol

[@d3mist0clesgee12]

really funny, great stuff

[@user-zj3ri7hj2r]

It’s a great privilege coming across your KZbin channel Dr Igudia. You have always been there for me health wise. I can vividly remember how you turned up for me when I was down with Herpes infection. Your contribution and care was highly appreciated. You are the best doctor I have ever come across. Thank you so much for the difference you make in the lives of your patients! Your kindness, sincere caring, and concern make everything better and are a great encouragement Dr Igudia.

[@4michalk]

Good stand up, thank you!

[@Rhekon]

Zales joke is exactly how my imagination criticizes shitty sales pitches and stuff lol

[@Bleh693]

Pretty funny! Love the Zales part.

[@MatthewWatches]

This is kind of an old special, I really like to see her again soon.

[@anthonyrusso9378]

Very funny very good 👍🏻 👏🏻

[@GB-TX]

The Cosmo bit think at the end was the best. Stick it out for her.

[@user-cl6zq5ew3m]

What a wonderful blessing and encouragement you are Dr Igudia. I don’t have words to thank you enough, I blessed the day I came across your KZbin channel, I’m free from my HSV2, victory at last.

[@SubTropicSam]

That’s gold Jerry, gold!

[@monkey505boy]

Funy! Loved it!

[@Cletus_the_Elder]

Her face is just so perfect.

[@JasonTaylor90210]

Perfect for and as a nerd...

[@VyvienneEaux]

I didn’t want this to end

[@kidchalleen4250]

You had my attention at "Bookish"!

[@jeffreyguthrie4672]

great!

[@chrisbaker1310]

I love this. I live in Brunswick Maine and work in Freeport. 😂

[@misterwin2393]

Nope, SUPER alone! What's up! Are you pointless? YOU LIED TO ME, ZALES!!! And the pigs are looking at this guy like, REALLY?! I've got mine trimmed into a nice Boy Short, just here... This was hilarious!

[@Navenanthen]

She's gold.

[@Navenanthen]

Stereotype. :)

[@GreatMooglyGoogly]

You just want to see her in a little yellow net.

[@user-de2yl5wu9u]

What a wonderful blessing and encouragement you are Dr Igudia. I don’t have words to thank you enough, I blessed the day I came across your KZbin channel, I’m free from my Herpes infection, victory at last.

[@ziamalepe]

Applause!!

[@tysona23]

So funny 😂

[@TheOldHippiebilly]

Excellent! Keep it up!

[@KarolsCorner]

I enjoyed this so much

[@wabi-sance]

Fresh! Love her zingers.

[@user-zj3ri7hj2r]

It’s a great privilege coming across your KZbin channel Dr Igudia. You have always been there for me health wise. I can vividly remember how you turned up for me when I was down with Herpes simplex virus. Your contribution and care was highly appreciated. You are the best doctor I have ever come across. Thank you so much for the difference you make in the lives of your patients! Your kindness, sincere caring, and concern make everything better and are a great encouragement Dr Igudia

[@BallMarks]

Is this new? Some of her material here is almost ten years old. Such a bummer, I was excited to hear something new from her.

[@betsguey8549]

Yeah, I saw this over 10 years ago. Still funny

[@jordangerm]

So fucking good. She killed it!!

[@IndigoIndustrial]

This is good.

[@joelcruz9415]

She borderlines on unfunny and then somehow brings it together and its funny.

[@ShiningEyeBrigade]

Wow! Can’t believe I’ve not heard if her before now, she is great!

[@joaquinveleta3159]

HECK to the YYYYEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHH (Now, repeat time)😃 Edit: I just watched it twice and now I'm adding it to my playlist😉

[@shivapazoki1881]

Great set! Love her😂

[@samuelreeb9162]

Always been in love with her comedy. She's amazing.

[@renfam8183]

Definitely deserves a Netflix special, Very witty

[@Mom-a-Dragon7622]

I never knew what the gold coins were I just thought they were a new idea LOL I used to buy them for my kids

[@iamnormal8648]

5:22 Darn! We were all waiting to hear what she'd say about you know who.

[@christine8823]

Yes, ma'am!

[@mikep3813]

She reminds me of Tina Fey

[@EpicManaphyDude]

she fr used her normal-ish voice for jessi glazer 😂

[@mailesmith168]

More!

[@jmsmith1767]

I have always thought Jessi was so gorgeous but, I’m also a huge Big Mouth fan so now all I hear is Jessi. 😮😮😮

[@brettbarton1911]

Your hilarious Bravo

[@einundsiebenziger5488]

You're* ...

[@mikeisthelunawolf]

Thanks for coming... so that's something I never ear a woman say to me!

[@dvezha]

Awww, honey. 😔😂

[@cvilsack1]

She is very good!

[@Kamikaze3557]

If 35 is just a turn, 65 is a head on collision.

[@juliuskwak1263]

I didn't know Liz Lemon did stand up!

[@natecallens]

Jessi Klein is great!! So damn funny. Big things ahead...

[@robgreenspan9389]

Love Jessi!

[@user-qe3iu2il6r]

You’re such a delightful person and a dedicated doctor, you are truly an inspiration Dr Igudia, I’m finally free from HSV2😊 stay blessed sir I’m so happy to came across your KZbin channel

[@marcmedina4376]

CLEVER AND CUTE!

[@alienrobotcommando]

Meow meow indeed. Friggin love your nose! 😃 Ps, no herpes here. I just checked.

[@dondee5439]

At the 17:33 mark, Jessi Klein is correct about Cosmo Magazine pretending to be your friend but really hating you. It also wants you to hate yourself and other women.

[@dreamulator]

Lexapro and Ambien same twin

[@creamcheez87]

Yes 2011 Comedy skit

[@Frainkey]

Little black book: Note to self, Jessi Klein is single.. Low self-esteem and aware of it.. don’t know how that works but check.. 😂😂😂

[@user-kl2xz9nu7t]

Hey Dr Igudia ! Thanks for your work on my Herpes infection case. I couldn’t have done this without your help. You were awesome at my checkpoint! I couldn’t thank you enough. Appreciate that you help me stay healthy. God bless you Dr Igudia

[@jmihalov]

haha

[@RobertCSmithJr]

she was great

[@TheTaralynBlue]

Was that a shot out to a Dessa lyric???

[@victorriurean]

nice

[@emotionz3]

That was really, really funny.

[@damienchurch2838]

Beautiful lady/killer set! A+ all around!

[@kedabro1957]

The pig walker probably got so much negative attention toward his pigs, he eventually became preemptively negative. He just assumed you were going to criticize them too. After losing my keys or wallet for the 5th time in 5 years, I finally taped them to each other with 3 feet of pink and yellow duct tape. Everybody I met was annoyed by this. After a month I became so defensive that I gave a woman a dirty look before I realized her smile was not mockery like the others. She thought it was cute. I really hurt her feelings that day. Now I'm remembering the same thing happening 10 years early. I got a retractable keychain and attached a facehugger-array of knives around it. This was a deliberate attempt to look cool. But some many people made fun of it that, one day, I failed to detect that the goth girl asking me about it thought it was cool too. I had also recently gone bald, and was at least 5 years older than her. I thought she was going to mock the old nerd with the edgelord pretensions. My sarcastic resentful response almost made her cry. I realized too late she actually liked me on sight and loved the pocket-facehugger I'd constructed. I felt so guilty. So, maybe pig guy wasn't a douche. Maybe he just long ago gave up on meeting someone like you. He maybe kicked himself afterward for scaring you away.

[@bellabowwow2204]

any pig farmer or cow farmer or chicken farmer embraces the life of being a d bag automatically & deserves righteous karma

[@Jestmystuff]

Perhaps pig guy, and you, would be happier if you looked at the positives in life instead of assuming everything is negative.

[@kedabro1957]

@@Jestmystuff Ignoring the negatives is only safe if you are surrounded by positive people. Staying positive around negative people will get you fired, cheated on, assaulted, robbed or killed. Sadists are attracted to positive people because they suffer most when the sadist shatters their illusions of safety. It's nice that you live and work in a place where you have not had to learn this yet. But please do not condescend to those less privileged than you.

[@AbcAbc-sp1od]

@@kedabro1957 I dislike toxic positivity.

[@SmilingAtheist]

Glad I stumbled on this video. Either by algorithm or drugs , or both , I am grateful.

[@arthurfreddie9544]

*A BIG THANKS TO **#DRERAYO** FOR CURING MY HSV 1&2 WITH HIS HERBAL SUPPLEMENTS* ✅✅✅✅

[@stephenlackey5852]

That was pretty fucking funny

[@marshazeldin2350]

I just keep hearing Jessi from Big Mouth. I mean I know it’s her but cmon now 😹😹😹

[@bridgetblue3738]

loved her! so funny!!!

[@1gman858]

Yah, my first time enjoying Jessi Klein and it was from my "watch later" list. Must have been something that prompted me to save this video. Whatever it was, it was correct. Unique and genuine delivery, content and pace. Jessi brings you in slow then you realize how fast and powerful you were going from the get-go. You are great, Jessi. Keep going! As someone said in the comments, YES you DO need a special. Get paid, get adored and stave off the herpes as long as possible! ;)

[@sameerbhamra8110]

same here!!! for whatever reason i saved it for later and finally got around to it on a whim. not disappointed!

[@sweetjane5033]

She’s beautiful and very funny!!!!!!!!!!!

[@brucemorris3830]

If he’s putting in the work, it’s like an 80% chance he’s not even gonna see her O face anyway lol. As a man. You don’t need to see it. You know when you crossed the finish line 😂