STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER - Movie Review

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#riseofskywalker #starwars #moviereview

[@thegrandwizard1700]

“Somehow Palpatine returned.” -an actual line written by a screenwriter and approved to be put in a film to be said by an actor. Let that sink in for a minute.

[@chrisolivo6591]

Maybe it was improvised and Oscar Isaac was just being honest about the Trilogy. Lol

[@palazzo1113]

They could have feasibly applied that line to many things in the sequels. Somehow this girl is a Skywalker. Somehow this stormtrooper guy we honestly all love is force sensitive but never gets to say so. Somehow Luke just fucking dies.

[@AssClapCowboy]

An actual comment that was stolen from a popular meme, word for word, to be taken as The Grand Wizard’s own original thought.

[@starwarsroo2448]

Screenwriter, director, producers, script supervisors the lot, the shit show Disney machine shows no sign of slowing down

[@palazzo1113]

@Michael Giammarino Two things... one: the fact that nobody pays attention to the second line says A LOT about the first line. Two: if the second line excuses the first, then why have the first start off with "somehow"? They could have said "Palatine has returned!" which is honestly a lot more ominous. It's not just bad writing, it's stupid writing.

[@jdovma1]

"Palatine's back." "How?" "I don't know, but he's back." Now that's exposition.

[@anthonymartensen3164]

Dark magic, cloning

[@matthewk4912]

@@anthonymartensen3164 In the books it's revealed Palpatine beamed his consciousness across the galaxy into a clone before he died in Return of the Jedi. Plus, Rey is not Palpatine's actual granddaughter. She is the daughter of a "failed" Palpatine clone that wasn't Force-sensitive and ran away from Palpatine.

[@SlugfestWizard]

Lol

[@alesksander]

BRUH haha

[@RandallGriffithLCSW]

"Baby's first McGuffin." Great line! Very astute review, thank you.

[@alexanderg1297]

8 movies, 2 spin-offs, multiple television shows, hundreds of video games and thousands of books were all leading up to horses on a space ship. At least we’ll always have the original trilogy.

[@hoopz5095]

It isn't even the "original" trilogy anymore.

[@jamesway]

Sorry, Disney will remake the original trilogy and make the death complete. Should be obvious.

[@treystephens6166]

@@hoopz5095 only on VHS or LaserDisc

[@treystephens6166]

@@jamesway that’s why preservation of outdated media formats is important

[@ryanhawe8234]

@@jamesway "Macklunkey!" may have been released by Disney+, but that was George's Last Gift to the fans (he threw it in when supervising the 4K cut of A New Hope around the time that the sale of Lucasfilm was being negotiated). It seems fitting that his last running change would be back at that cantina shoot-out....

[@danskyder1564]

The Rey-Kylo kiss is one of the most baffling pieces of cinema ever filmed. I can hardly believe it actually ended up in the final cut.

[@gnalkhere]

There was audible confusion at that part in the cinemas

[@TheGamingHoser]

Girls love bad boys. Usually they draw the line at homicidal maniacs. Usually.

[@tigerlancer]

I heard jj was sabotaged. He gave a 135 min cut to the studio and the studio put out an edited 142 min edition and the edits were added so that WB wouldn't hire jj to be the new DC boss. WB hired James gunn, so I guess it worked?

[@nighttrain1236]

It was the culmination of a half-assed will-they-won't-they story arc. Kylo was somewhat remade into Young Adult complicated boyfriend material after TFA.

[@realDialFforFilm]

I'm only 9 seconds in, and this is already one of the greatest reviews you've ever done. I can't wait to see the rest!

[@zooropa5722]

Statements like this are exactly why I can't take most of the sequel critics seriously. This complete "oh she hates it?! YESS!! Best review ever!!" attitude is so f'ing sad. Wouldn't it be much cooler if someone actually convinced you of positive aspects about these films? Or not even these films, but another film you don't like maybe. I personally really liked the sequels, especially 8, and I still watch reviews like this every once in a while to subject my own views to other opinions. People like different things and that's fine, and this is not "one of the greatest reviews she has ever done" just because it's clear after 9 seconds that she doesn't like the film.

[@realDialFforFilm]

Dude, it was a joke. Calm down.

[@terriblecrayon]

@@realDialFforFilm The reason Zooropa left that bloated comment? You guessed it: Frank Stallone.

[@matthewk4912]

It's unfortunate some laugh at aspiring screenwriters without having read a single line of the person's work. Getting a job does not necessarily mean you are the best person for it. The Rise of Skywalker is proof of that. Many fans, a Star Wars fan working at a Target, could have written a better Star Wars movie than Rise of Skywalker.

[@DeflatingAtheism]

Funny you should say that. I always thought someone should do a man-on-the-street video where they go around asking people if they are- or were- Star Wars fans. It shouldn’t take too long to find one. Then ask them what they think _should_ have happened in a sequel trilogy. I bet there‘s a 99+% what a random person on the street thinks should have happened makes a lot more sense than what we got.

[@matthewk4912]

@@DeflatingAtheism Yes exactly. Plus even if it was "bad" at least it would have had a coherent story because the people being asked would think about it right there. The sequel trilogy we got was a rough tug of war of ideas in 2 out of 3 installments. And some people want to believe that society puts the absolute best people in the right jobs 100% of the time. It doesn't work that way. Just because J.J. Abrams wrote and directed Rise of Skywalker doesn't mean everyone who's not already working in Hollywood is less skilled than him.

[@marcusappelberg369]

Yes, as a published fantasy author I spent years working on my book. Meanwhile Rian filmed his first draft since it was brilliant...

[@troubadour723]

@@matthewk4912 Abrams worked his way up in the industry all the way from being the child of TV producers. No, like the rest of America, Hollywood is not a meritocracy.

[@AlexH8280]

"Alot of people said (George Lucas's Star Wars) died with The Last Jedi, and if this is the case, then (Rise of Skywalker) is taking the corpse and forcing it to dance around." This is a perfect analogy.

[@pablohanc]

When i left the cinema after watching the last jedi I was fuming. I actually felt anger towards the writer / director. I knew I'd never pay to watch another SW film again, and I haven't.

[@LordMalice6d9]

@@pablohanc Very rarely does a movie actually make me angry and feel like the entire movie itself was made to be a hate letter to the fans and a slap across the face.

[@pablohanc]

@@LordMalice6d9 that's exactly how I felt. For me, it was a franchise killer.

[@LordMalice6d9]

@@pablohanc It's the fact that Rian Johnson and the other writers seemed to go out of their way to insult me for even being a fan. Scream 5 was another such example, with its insertion of the "toxic fandom" canard.

[@pablohanc]

@@LordMalice6d9 yeah, I know what you mean. They do the poor writing, but apparently it's our fault when we don't like it!!

[@rickjohnson9558]

I saw "Star Wars" over thirty times in the summer of 1977. I saw "The Empire Strikes Back" even more in 1980. I saw "The Force Awakens" once, and never saw "The Last Jedi" or "The Rise of Skywalker", which ought to tell you something. Thanks for the review.

[@jebpleb1803]

Same. Don't know why anyone would have continued after T.F.A. I do enjoy watching people rip them apart though.

[@voxorox]

I kept watching mainly out of curiosity, but I approached the last two with quite a bit of dread. It was like watching helplessly while a dear old friend goes down a spiral of substance abuse. This from someone who wore out my old VHS copies of the OT by watching at least one of them every single day after my classes in college.

[@kwameadu0075]

Bro, I did the same thing when I watched TFA. Never cared to see the other two.

[@davidjacobs8558]

I consider myself a big Star Wars fan, and I saw The Farce Awakens at the theatre, and 30 minuites in, and I said to myself, what kind of sh*t is this? and never bothered with the remaining movies.

[@fabienzaca]

@@davidjacobs8558 The Last Jedi has some of the best scenes in Stars Wars history. The set up and pay off were incredibly satisfying. But be warned it had alot of bold decisions that might not sit well with OG star wars fans. It was bombed by critics when it came out but over time I feel It will be looked at as among the best in star wars cinema.

[@nathanarmstrong6791]

Maggie, you’re a treasure. Keep up the great work. How are you not more popular is an indictment on contemporary times.

[@steverok67]

They lost me at Ep 7. I admire your willingness to even go there.

[@treystephens6166]

I’ve been done since 2019 I gave them too many chances.

[@acrophobe]

Nearly 3 years after seeing the film for my first and only time, I still pretty vividly recall how impressed I was at how breathtakingly jumbled, scrambled, garbled, and disorienting this film was. At virtually no point in the entire 2 and a half hours of the movie did I have a firm grasp on what the hell was going on, who all the baddies were and where they came from, where the characters were or where they were going, what anyone was doing and why, who was who, what anyone's motivations were, or why the hell I should care about anyone or anything that was happening in the movie. It felt pretty clear to me that they had made a 4+ hour movie and were contractually obligated to deliver a film under a certain runtime, come hell or high water. What we were left with was essentially a movie puree of a long series of scenes blended together at random for our viewing pleasure (?). I was pretty surprised to see just how little they knew what they were doing, and that Kennedy, Abrams et al truly had no plan at all in place for what would happen in the trilogy. I'm sure that deciding to hamstring themselves by being stuck with the footage they had of Carrie Fisher rather than recasting the role to make a coherent storyline with Leia didn't help any. But at the end of the day, I think the overarching reason Rise of Skywalker was such a fetid bucket of regurgitated, bilious demon excretion was simply naked corporate greed. The powers that be at Lucasfilm decided they had a deadline to make and were already counting the billions of dollars of box office and tie-in merchandising deals, even as they were still in production on a bloated, incomprehensible, hollow, out of control toy commercial. The script and characters that were the foundation of why the series was successful in the first place were even less than an afterthought. They had a fiduciary responsibility to release a Star Wars product to consumers, and so they crapped out a product catalogue masquerading as a movie, full of cutesy, quirky little droids and aliens, some new planets and ships and vehicles and storm trooper variants, a boatload of memberberries to appease the hordes of cognitively impaired incel fanboy virgin nerds, and called it a day. Rise of Skywalker is among the very worst that blockbuster major studio filmmaking has to offer, and I'm disappointed but not the least bit surprised that Disney had the audacity to keep the franchise going on Disney+ and spend another few billion dollars on their little Star Wars land at Disneyland so they could have an excuse to charge the guests another $100 a day.

[@mabusestestament]

Imagine getting the rights to Star Wars and instead of getting the best people in the business together to make the best possible sequel trilogy to the most classic trilogy of all time, you're just winging it...

[@ferrarriohh]

In my eyes, its all the right pieces, in ALL the wrong places. Starting with JJ Abrams was smart, I’ll give them that. The idea that 3 different directors would take over each w/o a set pair of writers is *insanity* Next, Rian Johnson is wrong for the sequel to TFA. His role should have been to direct the Solo film, hopefully written for him, because he is a moron. But he did wonders with de-aging tech and getting performances out of both Bruce Willis & Joseph Gordon Levitt, that if he had been given say both Harrison Ford (for narration) and Anthony Ingruber for younger Han, plus Woody Harrelson, it think it’d been fine with him in charge. Here’s where it gets weird: Lord and Miller should have taken over for the sequel to Force Awakens, with a clear path for “Rise of Skywalker” or however it’d have landed after. I really think Colin Trevorrow had no point being there, and him walking away was smart after the treatment of Rogue One’s director Gareth Edwards. I probably would have liked a second installment story along those lines, more battle related and further off the branch from anything OT. Maybe even if Colin and Gareth had teamed up to develop Knights of the Old Republic based on the Bioware games, with a whole new timeline to explore which was somehow important for how film 3 is tied to the others? I dunno at this point its truly “who cares?” Star Wars needs a major overhaul because its brain dead on life support as is.

[@dirtydan9457]

They managed to start with all 3 original cast members and NOT have them all in the same scene. It takes talent to fuck that up.

[@jonathanlgill]

Honestly, the scene between Leia and Han in Force Awakens was so bad I really wouldn't want them to give us a pandering overly-sentimental scene of the three of them. The Luke/Leia scene in Last Jedi is a bit better but still not exactly good.

[@leme3082]

This movie did come out awhile ago but I think everyone enjoys shared pain every now and then

[@BugVlogs]

My favorite part of the movie was when Poe Dameron looked directly at the camera and said “It’s Morbin’ time”

[@mikesilva3868]

I though it was a parody of the awful power rangers tv series I have hated power rangers since I was 9 in 1993 only saw the pilot episode of mmpr on fox kids at the time they used stock footage from dinosaur squadron zyuranger dubbed it as well 🤯

[@alexanderg1297]

My favorite part is when Finn turns to Rey and says “Rey! I need to tell you something!” and then the credits role never resolving what he was trying to tell her. Oh well, I probably need to read 5 books just to find out what he was trying to say.

[@palazzo1113]

Or when they kill Chewbacca and turn him into beef jerky. Then, when the emperor gets fed some by a Snoke clone, he says "this tastes a little chewy..."

[@NewtracksVideos]

Deep Focus should go this brutally hard on everything. It should become the new brand. Scorched Earth, no mercy, no prisoners. This review is a thing of beauty. It is therapy.

[@Ny-kelCameron]

Star wars died the day George Lucas sold to Disney. Period. And that sentintment solidified for me not by watching TFA, but by reading the tie in novel for Rebels: a new dawn(it was the first star wars novel to be released under Disney), it dragged on and on and on, and spoilers: no jedi. Despite being advertised wuth such. Then and there I knew star wars was finished.

[@remixisthis]

Star Wars is so weird in that there’s so many interesting directions you can go, but no one explores them, rehashing the same themes and character types over and over

[@michaelcooney9368]

OK. Disney needs to understand....the antagonist in Star Wars was never the emperor, it was about the dark side of the force. And if you want to continue to make bank, you don't personify evil to an individual that doesn't allow the story to continue once he's gone. Sorta like Lord of the Rings, they can only do prequels, because the end of the ring puts a extra heavy dead end to the timeline/saga.

[@jaya5920]

George’s original sequel had a true ending in mind but they obviously didn’t go with it so they can continue to milk the franchise until it fizzles into nothing.

[@gnalkhere]

Oh I was in Rise of Skywalker! I thought I wouldn't show up at all on camera but there's a clear shot of me passing by during the desert party for a whole shot and it made up for the entire movie being a hot mess. It was a great week of filming and seeing a massive production like that in motion was - for better or for worse - magical. I thought quoting Dr. Steve Brule to Oscar Isaac was gonna be the highlight but meeting C3PO was big for me

[@anthonymartensen3164]

I think the movie is awesome!

[@lesten2707]

Wow! What a cool experience

[@treystephens6166]

Whose fault is it ? Disney? Kk ?

[@hemaccabe4292]

So good for you. I hope you had a great time.

[@nathanhittle9457]

The way Palpatine's return was communicated through a Star Wars event in Fortnite 😭

[@cdpetee]

'The Rise Of Skywalker', the first SW film I did not care to see in cinemas. Rising from my seat at the end of 'TLJ', my first words were, "I don't care what happens in episode nine now." My PTSD from viewing that first draft disaster had still not subsided by 2019. Eventually I did download 'TROS' and made myself sit through it. I loved your review, it sums up exactly how I felt in a much more calming manner.

[@BigBoy-bx1dw]

Really you aren't missing anything. I really disliked the last Jedi but nothing could have prepared me for how bad Rise of Skywalker was. It's literally unwatchable. The best thing I can compare it to is a shitty Michael Bay transformers movie. Nothing makes any sense and is moving at a frantic pace.

[@magneto44]

the Last Jedi is my favorite Star Wars movie personally

[@BigBoy-bx1dw]

@@magneto44 I think it had a lot of self inflicted wounds. Rose's actress got so much undeserved hate because honestly her character was so badly written. She's a good actress but that character was laughable. Then her main storyline being taken up by the casino planet part which was another weak portion of the movie didn't help. Luke trying to kill Kylo when he was younger was also just so out of place. There could have been a lot of ways to handle that better. Then of course Snoke which was an interesting villain that we wanted to know more about struck down like nothing. All so we could focus on the same at this point already starting to grow tiresome relationship between Kylo and Rey. I left the theatre kind of in shock thinking I really don't care about any of these characters or plot lines. Then the 3rd one happens and its like someone threw up on screen. Worse in every way. For that fact alone I would have preferred Johnson have done a third one to at least see if he had any interesting ideas.

[@danielcheah4143]

Been binge watching your reviews. Immensely interesting, well written and organised. Thank god there is content out there that actually discusses films deeply with no frills and bull. I feel like I’m in a deep conversation about movies despite not saying anything. Travelling without moving. Looking forward to more.

[@mrbrandonmartin388]

JJ is really the one to be blamed for most of the issues with TLJ and RoS. He laid the ground work of the first order rising, kylo becoming a sith, Luke going into exile, Ray being a powerful orphan, etc. He left all of those plot points for Rian to deal with in the sequel only to ignore them in ep 9. I have no doubt that if Rian wrote ep 7 instead of ep 8 that it would have been a much better trilogy.

[@jonathanlgill]

I'm glad in hindsight audiences have turned against his "mystery box" approach to storytelling. I was baffled by the praise Force Awakens had at the time, because it did all the things you listed.

[@tigerlancer]

If rian did 8, then rian should have done 9. ROS just wasted everyone's time.

[@robsmall6466]

Imagine if she had spent between 2019 and now in therapy and only now could she bring herself to talk about the film. PTSD Disney style

[@kdcndw1]

Love this review. I think not seeing the movie during the hype and subsequent backlash has provided a perspective that other film reviewers missed. Again proving, that Maggie is my favorite film reviewer on KZbin. I did want to briefly elaborate on one of your best criticisms. Thinking that the screenwriters had their children take a pass at the script had me rolling in laughter. I was reminded of not a great but very funny Hollywood Satire called The TV set which has a bit about a network executive letting her 12 year old daughter make creative decisions about which TV pilots should go to series. The executive is played by Sigourney Weaver (one of the best inside baseball joke about the t.v. industry ever, but I digress)

[@Sasha-trans-fenix]

Lol you can see the desperation on her face so clearly. Great content.

[@krudmonger]

The pile of trash analogy is spot-on. I remember there were parts of the movie that I and the rest of the audience were laughing at, that were definitely NOT intended to be laugh-out-loud moments, they were just... laughably bad. Like we were all traumatized as a group and the only recourse we had in the moment was laughter, because they don't let you bring in tomatoes any more.

[@harrypoppet5464]

Hahahaha! One of your best reviews! I've watched for years. You LITERALLY made sense of this mess FOR US and you put into words what we all deep down were feeling...perfectly. Yes! Like a child wrote it! You nailed it. THIS WAS your funniest review by far. You were brilliant. I am a aspiring comedian and you had me in hestarics as you reenacted their process as a child AND the razor sharp well placed sarcasm. Hestarical. You just kept hammering right on point while throwing perfect jabs and insights. It was artful. You ever think of doing stand up? You must have your friends in hestarics when you get on about something? Lucky bastards! 😆 Im watching this again and lighting one up to do so and enjoy your endless impromptu brilliant quips. 😊 You really shined here...this is your benchmark. 😊 🙏

[@ConnerBobZ]

Easily one of the most cathartic reviews/videos I've seen on this site. I salute you for powering thru this insult so I didn't have to again. You nailed it.

[@dakariholder02]

You’ve made a lot of great points in this review. One of the very rare instances where my opinion drastically changes on a film. Saw it when it came out, liked it quite a bit. Saw it the following year after binging the entire saga, my mind was blown at how painfully inconsistent and messy it was. Lord have mercy on us. Thank you for this review. 🙏🏾😂

[@jojodogface898]

"Baby's first macguffin" Never been put any better

[@pablohanc]

You give some of the best KZbin movie reviews. Only discovered your channel a couple of days ago, subbed after 1 review.

[@ayumidoll7034]

I think Rey should have become the next "Vader" type villain, and even win in the end. Kylo's story arch would shift to an antihero as he watches someone else living out his legacy. The spin off series in a post "Darth Rey" universe would write themselves, without even needing the actress to play the part.

[@jimwoodswrites]

I refused to watch this after The Last Jedi. I still feel scarred from whatever that was. Sidenote: calling this the Starwars equivalent of Weekend at Bernie's is an amazing analogy.

[@silas1414]

There’re parts of ROS that I like for aesthetic, atmosphere and mood reasons. TLJ on the other hand I don’t like at all and consider an enormous waste. TFA is a solid B.

[@badluckrabbit]

The Rise of Skywalker is essentially the entire executive board of Disney collectively grabbing all Star Wars fans by the shoulders and screaming in their faces "LOVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

[@budball2]

Great review perfectly captures that feeling that it all just slipped away and they had all the money in the world to do it right, nobody cared. Terrible trilogy two movies that counter acted each other and then a third one that tried to patch it all up with characters that nobody cares about they checked the boxes, guy in the Dark Mask check,sand Planet check, Death Star check.

[@Truth_To_Power]

I think I would have appreciated TFA and TLJ if I had a clear understanding of what to expect. But I went in with a strong yearning for a huge Luke Skywalker moment and I never got it so I felt empty. I later got that moment in Mando thankfully.

[@kenward1310]

Your reviews are always an enthralling listen. Thank you. Where SW as a franchise is concerned, I really think the first two films from the original trilogy are the only good ones.

[@KGBeast.]

As a Star Wars fan I very much regret watching this movie in the theatre. This review genuinely had me interested and I quite enjoyed it, more than the entire movie

[@Pab-B]

New subscriber - great content! JFC this review brought up deep-seated anger I had blocked out over the sequels. lol

[@positivetakes5592]

Your description of this film being akin to being pulverized by water is the best one I've heard

[@jimmyblaze4097]

This review is perfection.

[@andrewross1809]

'' Trying to make sense of a 3rd grader's class assignment who's majorly ADD ... '' LMAO🤣 Brilliant, spot on review,

[@kthx1138]

Right on, Maggie. The main feeling I got from TLJ and TROS was rush rush rush. Rush over character development. Not give us any time to connect to any character. "Where's Han?"--Wipe to next scene.

[@ryansodora2372]

You totally nailed it on the head with the puppet analogy. It’s really sad what Star Wars has become cinematically but hopefully someone will take it in a new, creative direction one day 🙏

[@silas1414]

Maybe it’s because I’m not an original Star Wars fan but I didn’t find Rey taking the name of Skywalker so vile, in fact it felt somewhat poignant that an orphan would take the name of her heroes. Though I wasn’t thinking about it as an analogy for Disneys relationship with the brand 😄 Idk

[@Canariofilms]

WOW! Spot on. Great thought-out review.

[@sprawlz6466]

This movie is a contender for my least favorite movie of all time

[@deepfocuslens]

same

[@silas1414]

The Last Jedi is what you get when arrogance and incompetence collide.

[@spellman007]

Only Rian is a very competent director & everyone says he is a wonderfully nice person...

[@LordMalice6d9]

The Last Jedi is what you get when you hire a deconstructionist director who never really cared for Star Wars to begin with, direct a Star Wars film that is a hate letter to the fanbase.

[@davidminken4094]

It really does have that "Weekend at Bernie's" vibe. I hadn't thought of it that way before, but yeah. Totally.

[@kameelelian6044]

Idk why I watched this video, but of all the reviews I've watched your review captured my feelings 100%

[@larrytalbot3824]

I always imagine a room with a long table, KK, JJ, Disney executives, the various Lucasfilm writers & story group types, with maybe a couple standing at one end, in front of a whiteboard, & they are making a checklist headlined ' categories of Star Wars fans ' & below it: The Force Awakens, The Last Jedi, Reylo, Finn & Rey, Finn - force sensitive, Fan-fiction, Original Trilogy, Prequel Trilogy, Clone Wars/Rebels, EU, comics, games & etc, etc, the list goes on, basically every SW fan permutation possible, probably from a quick online search. And the brief is, " Ok, we stick something, _anything,_ regardless of context or continuity from each of these categories, no matter how small or confused the reference is - in this movie, we'll have covered ALL the bases & they'll ALL love it. OK, successful meeting, I think we're done for today."

[@MrHereWeGoYo]

Not "late to the party", just here to make sure we drive that stake ALL the way in. Excellent.

[@Landenburg]

Thank you. Watching reviews like yours is part of my therapy to deal with this monumental clusterfuck that is the ST.

[@theowlman7091]

You provide us with amazing content and I enjoy it very much but is it possible if you can review more western movies like Pale Rider, Once upon the west, hang em high, or spaghetti flicks? I know Those movies are old and their westerns but there so good and most of them are better than modern movies. Keep up the great work

[@JorgeTorres-tl7vo]

I don’t know you. I’ve only been watching your videos for a few years now. But 5 seconds I had to pause and scream out loud, “Maggie No! Who put you up to this?!” You’re tone the seconds after confirmed my suspicions about how painful this movie is. Seeing that you posted this video, you are alive. But at what cost?

[@BrianCrisan]

Watching this review was a healing experience.

[@BruceColon-BSides]

The real depression started with the absolutely putrid The Last Jedi. Pretentious, self-serving, agenda-driven garbage.

[@lacrimatorium]

A deep dive into the dumpster as it burns. Thanks Maggie. I know what you mean about wanting to watch it just to basically finish the thing. I'm old enough to have seen Star Wars (before it was subtitled 'A New Hope') when it was released. I liked it. Found it enjoyable. I walked out and continued my life. Never became a geek about it. But as time dragged by I saw that younger gens were absolutely devoted to it. I put this down to a paucity of imagination, having already discovered the eerie Victorian fairy tales of the Scott George MacDonald. Star Wars with its punny names and 'heroes journey' arc, seemed like kids stuff. I did really like the the Empire Strikes Back, but by the time that the Ewoks emerged in #3 what little bloom there was for me had fallen of that dwarf rose. Nevertheless I kept dutifully watching, but always with brain attached. I could appreciate the spectacle of it even, if sand does get into all the wrong places. But you are absolutely right, the 'arc' of this cash grab sequel series essentially opened the doorways to movie hell. Thanks for your insights, your patience, your willingness to suffer, and especially, your sense of humor.

[@thePowerPlant]

What a critical review...that I completely agree with. // We shall see how this vinegar ages. // It's very interesting how many people "love" the prequels these days.

[@seanwade2218]

Agree with all of it. Will say that JJ also left Rian in a bad position with TFA, though. And Offing Snoke allowed for Ben to be the main villain. There was a lot to be built off there

[@RevengeOfTheKaizer]

It's such a weird complaint that JJ was put in a difficult position because "Rian killed Snoke" as if Disney had no clue that was going to happen? Colin Trevorrow already had his version of IX planned out with no Snoke. It was only a surprise to us, the audience. It's not Rian's fault they shitcanned him.

[@dcfmkyn]

I agree with your take on the prequels. They had their flaws but AT LEAST they told a continuous story. It is quite sad and problematic when the finished product shows that its creators didn't care.

[@coffeebean_tamer]

Regardless of the prequels flaws it had a planned out story fall of the Republic that's what I always wanted and all I ever needed. totally agree no planning... corporate greed and now we see the same thing filtering through to the MAY.

[@CalvinChikelue]

Thank you for voicing the same issue I've had with the villain decision in this movie since it's premiere. Honestly I’ve never gotten the outrage behind Snoke’s death in TLJ in particular to the point where JJ desperately brought back Palpatine. The films already had the perfect final antagonist in Kylo Ren. He’d already killed his own father in his lust for power so why wouldn’t he pull the classic Sith move of killing his “leader” Snoke to that same end. He, more than Snoke, was Rey’s main opposing force since the outset but I guess since the beginning JJ was planning to redeem Kylo which would once again just be a beat unflinchingly mimicking the original trilogy. To me bringing back Palp & making Snoke the final boss are equally as uninteresting & weak compared to making the actual complex character Kylo the major villain who was past redemption.

[@calebsanchez5651]

"You've proven you cannot have nice things" - it's like talking down to a child and I love it.

[@tomsenior7405]

A Grand, honest, heartfelt review. Well done. No doubt in 20 years or so, this film will have a loyal fanbase who grew up with the "Final" Trilogy. Fair Play to them. I left the whole Star Wars gig behind in 1983, midway through the Return of the Jedi. I am honestly surprised that Star Wars is still a thing. Who would have thunk that there were this many fans committed to the franchise. Hopefully, one day, The Lightning will strike again and the magic will return.

[@shazzbutter]

She looks to a galaxy far, far away, thinking of what could have been...

[@Barbies_Angel]

This movie is slowly becoming one of my favorite Star Wars movies because it is so hilariously terrible I genuinely laugh during most of the dramatic moments

[@alissonlares2926]

Is it so bad is good?

[@Barbies_Angel]

@@alissonlares2926 I think so

[@philocleandes9302]

I fell asleep in the theater with my 3 nephews and was completely unapologetic about it even though I knew I would never hear the end of it from my sister.

[@brysonfreeman3526]

You should do your reviews on The Empire Strikes Back, Return Of The Jedi, The Phantom Menace, Attack Of The Clones, Revenge Of The Sith, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight Rises, Harry Potter, Indiana Jones, Gladiator, Game Of Thrones, Vikings, Rome, The Tudors, Breaking Bad, The Sopranos, Westworld, The Crown, Stranger Things, The Mandolorian, The Adventures Of Robin Hood, Casablanca, Inception, Ben-Hur, and Top Gun

[@maciejatkowski5524]

You forgot Fast and Furious.

[@bsharp3281]

Disney Star Wars is like watching rich kids play with their expensive action figures!

[@ClearCritique]

This was a thoroughly engaging review. Nicely done!

[@thoso1973]

The element that disappoints me the most with the new trilogy, is the lazy worldbuilding. Copies of what we have already seen in Lucas' original trilogy. Very little context is given to all the time that passed since Return of The Jedi and these films; we have no idea what the new Republic works like or its values, hence we don't really know what Leia's resistance is fighting for. JJ and Rian had an unlimited Universe that Lucas created, to use as their playground, yet everything they did feels like the Edward Norton scene in Fight Club: 'everything is a copy.. of a copy... of a copy...'

[@fatherlucid4995]

It copies the OT but manages to feel nothing like it

[@TMBTM]

Love it or hate it, at least The Last Jedi had something to tell. The problem was that the movie almost ended like if it was the end of a trilogy. Sure Kylo Ren was still alive and the Resistance was on the run but most of the audience felt like it was the end of something. And I guess the people in charge to make the third movie felt the same, lol. They really did not plan anything and they ended up running around like headless chickens in hope to find ideas to save the trilogy. In my opinion, the good way would have been to make the story of Episode 9 ten years after Episode 8. Like Episode 1 was ten years before Episode 2. That way you could have an epilogue episode the same way The Phantom Menace was a prologue and they would have had more freedom to find ways to tell something to cap the overall Skywalker arc in a better way.

[@TeaDrinker3000]

Your reviews are soooo much more enjoyable since that new mic

[@ryansanders2009]

This movie made TLJ look good. It actually makes me appreciate that TLJ had themes and character development. Rise was like drinking water from a fire hydrant that. just. didn’t. stop.

[@doctorravenclaw2649]

I personally enjoyed Rise much more. I found TLJ such a slog to get through, whereas Rise is at least entertaining, despite some of its flaws.

[@NightWolfXVI]

@@doctorravenclaw2649 No the rise of Skywalker and sequels make the prequels look like Masterpieces.

[@chaTzon]

Absolutly no. Rise just continued the horror ride, but to say rise made TLJ look any better is crazy. Because infact rise is just a bunch of nostalgic scenes done bad...TLJ is to its core against everything what is star wars.

[@pablohanc]

The last Jedi was the film that killed star wars for me. Rise of skywalker was the final blitz of bombs on the already flattened star wars city. TLJ was the last time I ever paid or will pay to watch SW at the cinema.

[@flamingocupproductions5329]

your thumbnails you do for your vids are priceless, lol!

[@jamesbond3125]

i must say im impressed you finished the film. i got up the the part where it was a 15 minute montage of rey showing off her new powers. i just turned it off at that point and watched the last few clips on youtube

[@KillerChief345]

This movie made me want to commit to a vasectomy cause I was afraid I might raise someone who had a chance of making something that is just as bad as Rise of Skywalker.

[@scottmcgregor4829]

I ran out of "give a shit" for Star Wars after Rian Johnson "subverted expectations". This was not just disrespectful to any kind of cannon. This was disrespectful to people's childhood.

[@stevesteele8836]

Spot on. Well done. I grew up on the og's, and the crappy prequels depressed me to acknowledge half of starwars sucks. Now, most of starwars sucks. Shameful.

[@STEVEHEROLD]

i've never delved into the cartoons or books but at this point after watching all the movies and the recent Disney+ TV shows I think i'm convinced there should've never been any more Star Wars after the original three movies. There was a good complete story told. We didn't need to know/see any of this other stuff. None of it adds anything.

[@magarciascomics]

I loved this review, I love you went there, and seriously took out all the pieces and brought them to light for what they were, and you were spot on when you say the last image of Rey taking over the name of Skywalker is a perfect metaphor for Disney taking over Lucasfilm. Great job! Only one thing we disagree on though: I actually enjoyed watching the movie. It´s been so long Star Wars movies don't mean much to me (I despise the prequels, and I'm only a hardcore fan of the 1977 film) so the lapses in mythology and character development I personally didn't care at all, they were just more of the same. So I ended up enjoying the film for the rollercoaster ride it is, while The Last Jedi, which I didn't care just as much, I found not just lame but boring, and a Star Wars film being boring is more than I can forgive. So yeah, totally agree with you on your analysis, only I had fun even if it was in an ironic way. Keep them up, girl, your reviews rock!

[@MicMirageMusic]

I grew up with Star Wars and never realized how much it meant to me until I observed my reaction to the latest trilogy. I have to be grateful, though, because I saw so many awesome reviews deconstructing it in an entertaining fashion. (RLM and you for instance - first time viewer here by recommendation). What perplexes me the most is, like you said, that this has been approved, budgeted and made. The second dichotomy for me is, that the visuals by itself are super impressive and are a very worthy continuation of the original in a modern style. This leads me to believe that the people in this department knew exactly how to handle the IP, but it was subject to specific agendas on an operational/political level. Being a creative with some original ideas, it leaves me resentful to attempt to cater my stuff into a field where "politics" gain influence over your idea because they give you the money to produce it.

[@stopthephilosophicalzombie9017]

Maulers breakdowns are savage.

[@DC-xx4kv]

Younglings, you are. Studied, you have not. The Force, an idea it is not. Humanity, it is. Beginings, awareness, journeys they are. Universal threads, we are. With no spirit, no destiny we have. There is no try, sacrifice, do or do not.

[@rantuneplanet]

After all this time, I decided to 'force' myself to watch 'Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker'. Your review was what inspired me to do so. And you are right on all levels of this movie. What an 'S' show. On every level. But it DID inspire me. When it was time to sleep, I was inspired to dream of how I would change the Star Wars movies if I had the chance. How I would have told the story of Luke Skywalker coming full-circle from the farm-boy who was 'but the learner, now he is the master'. Trading in all of those weak characters with one syllable names (Rey, Finn, Poe, Ren, Jar) to more profound characters with actual meaning and purpose. Withholding plot points from episodes 1, 2, and 3 that gave things away in future episodes like when Vader says 'I am your father' we wouldn't have known that fact prior to episode 5. The prequels would be the story of the Jedi during a much 'simpler age', where there is no such thing as midi-chlorians, clone troopers, Jar-jars and sand people slaughtering love interests. Like many, it would have been built on all of the aspects which made us fall in love with Star Wars; emotions, sacrifice, humor, family issues and a great story. But as the saying goes, we can't 'unsee it', we can't go back in time and stop George from rolling the cameras on episode one. We can't talk Disney into keeping pandora's box closed. Nor, can we use the force to guide JJ Abrams down a different path where Solo, Luke and Leia could have been as important as they used to be. No. It's over. It's sinking in now. One thing gives me comfort. Knowing I have the Lord of the Rings extended DVDs to fall back on to reminisce about days of old. That is, of course, until they stop making DVD players. As always, keep up the great reviews.

[@kubrickenigma7977]

I left the cinema feeling worthess as a fan. Not in general, but just as a fan of Star Wars. My older brother stood up and said aloud "Well, that was terrible." My other older brother and I were silent. We didn't discuss the film at all. We were carrying the coffin out the auditorium, a burden in our shoulders. The Force Awakens was a mostly terrific spring board of potential, but they belly flopped with the selection of director for That Last Jedi. They hired a person who was uninterested in their film being a product worthy of acclaim or even box office, rather than a strong empathetic story teller with an attachment to the human love of mythologies. Incredible. I borrowed The Rise of Skywalker from the library to see if maybe I was mistaken... but it took me three days to complete a second viewing. Both it at the movie proceeding it have virtually no rewatch potential. TFA is largely rewatchae (although it needed some tweeks to make it flawless) The main leads were great. They were woefully under utilised. The production team were all top notch, it all looks and sounds great. The sequel trilogy is a beautifully painted lead balloon.

[@skabcat242]

I seen this movie only once. Your review was spot on.

[@Wulfpack1]

Your opening said it all Maggie. LMFAO

[@djkramnik1]

I have heard many times that rian johnson left jj in a bad situation, which is true, but I have to think disney corporation / management would have created most of the constraints by demanding certain things to be in the movie. I imagine that is why they didn't cut their losses somewhat in their approach to the third film but instead tried to cram a million things into it.

[@Annayasha]

What on earth? 😆 I didnt expect you reviewing this. This should be fun

[@kevinjudge8406]

Exceptional review. The 'sequel trilogy' films are force insensitive and an absolute disgrace to storytelling! I am not convinced that Star Wars is 'creatively bankrupt'; it is limited to the will of Disney's reins. It is staggering to me that they did not set up the need for an Empire in the first movie and a half of this sequel trilogy. They needed to put the audience in a position where they were wanting the Empire 'back' in the middle film. This could have easily been achieved by navigating subplots around the rise of underground crime, gangs, and smuggling across the galaxy that would have helped with the world building and stayed consistent with Star Wars. Kylo Ren should have been struggling with the burden of family - the legacy of Darth Vader as a seductive 'force' for identity with Anakin Skywalker emerging, eventually, as a guide for morals and principles. I cannot understand how these movies were made without planning. There is very little self awareness, and comes across as complete disrespect for the originals and ignorance of the fanbase.

[@dannyvasquez4966]

I have a feeling Maggie will be a director, and bring original films in the near future✨🎥✨

[@Tusitala1967]

Watching this brilliant woman passionately dissect and lambaste the bloated, rotting corpse of this abomination of a movie feels like falling in love.

[@kunaak]

I am starting to feel like comedy is killing modern Hollywood movies. We use to think of Star Wars as a "Space Opera", and the material was taken serious and there was few small moments of levity, but no set up gags. The scene with "General Hugs", or Finn walking around dumbfounded, in a water suit... can you imagine any of that in the original Star Wars? Can you imagine what Disney would have done to Yoda had they made Star Wars in the 80's? The latest Thor movie is nearly unwatchable, because every line is a set up for a one liner, all seriousness is instantly lost with another one liner. It's like your almost not allowed to feel anything besides momentary laughter, but what that results in that no movie made by Disney will ever feel like "Empire Strikes Back", because the bleak hope that leads you into Jedi, would have been killed off with random jokes. Now Star Wars is a "Space Comedy".

[@Numerber1Musican]

8:35 That whole thing with Palpatine and his billion star destroyers should be a "Pitch Meeting" episode, lol

[@martinrenner2992]

Wow this incredibly scathing review is such a breath of fresh air.