Stephen Colbert’s Cyborgasm, CES Edition: A Computer In Your Toilet | Color-Changing Cars

[@mjmaccabee7252]

"the toilet said if we eat Taco Bell it would hire the pillow to kill me. " Dying over this line.

[@jv-lk7bc]

I saw that movie.. it was ok.

[@jimmybuffet4970]

Wow, now Colbert isn’t the only one reading other peoples’ jokes! 😂

[@Norrikan]

Putting an autonomous robot filled with food onto Florida's streets sounds like a recipe for a billion delightful headlines.

[@gregbrown1956]

Can't wait for Amazon drones. Or as these are affectionately called: skeet.

[@CheMechanical]

“Today, a Florida robot…”

[@3d20gaming]

free food is all i heard.

[@deborahwilson4684]

@@gregbrown1956 Love it! I won't even have to say "pull"!

[@wendigo53]

is that the same as a broken vending machine?

[@jma331982]

I think this was the best Cyborgasm I’ve seen so far 😂 I love Stephen’s ability to be very brainy one minute and completely silly the next.

[@chrishei3111]

Writers help with that

[@truthhurts3524]

Looks like Stephen had a “cyborgasm” all over his notes! 😂

[@chrishei3111]

I literally thought it was an on-purpose joke until he just kept looking distraught

[@blueBruSea]

Cory Wong in the HOUSE. Appreciate the Late Show recognizing great music and talent.

[@anticharlatan5823]

The pee analyzer reminded me of the scene in "The Island" where Ewan McGregor's character is told to cut back on his sodium intake and is denied bacon for breakfast the following day.

[@carlodave9]

Which is why I need one.

[@joshDammmit]

Such a shame that movie sucked

[@joshDammmit]

@@carlodave9 or, you could just stop eating bacon, and save yourself the cost of a pee analyzer.

[@davidanderson_surrey_bc]

There's a similar moment in The Last Emperor, only with, ah, more human-based analysis.

[@Echo81Rumple83]

Actually, I could use something like that; been trying to find the perfect balance of enough water and sodium in my body so I'm not so thirsty or needing to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes.

[@SpaceForceCommander]

Be on the lookout for suspect driving a red car, a blue car, a yellow car, a white car, a black car, a silver car etc.

[@krisfrederick5001]

Or a Vespa 👀

[@sophierobinson2738]

They banned color-changing cars in CA in the 80s.

[@roberttalada5196]

Be on the lookout for a color changing car

[@Rose-inspirations]

This is what I was thinking 😂

[@davidparker8221]

Car seems to be smiling, frowning, smirking...I'm not really sure now...

[@Keeper963]

CES is always the best time of the year for learning new ways technology should DEFINITELY NOT BE USED!

[@ChristophBrinkmann]

@@horacesheffield7367 Wrong, and over half of gamers are women. So there's that.

[@nitro6002]

The point of CES is to push boundaries. Nearly everything you use today was seen as ridiculous, unnecessary or a waste of technology when it first came out. Pushing boundaries is how our world is formed, it may not be to your liking but that doesn't mean humanities future has to be limited by your shortsightedness.

[@AlexanderSpear]

"Honey! It's your turn to change the battery on the urine analyzer!"

[@NewMessage]

Somewhere out there, Mike Lindell just threw his pillow on the ground, swore loudly, and went for his hidden crack stash in the toilet tank.

[@napalmholocaust9093]

"The" toilet? You mean yours else you would've specified. His stash, your house.

[@Lucius1958]

"Honey, we'll have to stop buying asparagus: the toilet just threatened me."

[@jmackultra]

I thought the mutalk was a gag story then I goggled it and found out it was a real thing. Comedy just writes itself these days.

[@GalGreen]

No way you just phrased it as a "gag story" on accident.

[@bafflezbiz]

I see what you did there...

[@adeadphish7931]

Sad thing is if you live in a house of gamers who stream or raid, that may be the best invention ever made while looking like a sex thing... Would the trade off be worth it....

[@bafflezbiz]

@@adeadphish7931 um, I hope you're not serious. First rule: function before fashion. Words to live by. Practical use trumps the "way you look". Second rule: you can [please] some of the people most of the time, and most of the people some of the time, but you can't [please] all of the people all of the time. (You can replace the word [please] with [fool], etc.) So don't worry about what other people think about the silly toy you are wearing on your face. If they have a negative opinion about it (beyond good-natured, comical teasing), they're clearly immature or repressed; so ignore them. And finally: there's nothing wrong with sex. But society frowns, even outlaws various add-ons, fetishes, and other particulars. Some may be warranted, others can be laughed at. The difference is up to you to decided for yourself. So grab your e-muzzle and have a blast!

[@FussyPickles]

don't know what you're on but that's potentially a game changer for a lot of people who wfh, depending on quality of the mic and stuff if they can get it to studio levels, you won't even need to sound proof for video recording

[@Centbair]

Florida and tiny robots... Might end up seeing Florida-Man being chased by it, screaming "It wants to eat me"

[@disorganizedorg]

My money is on Florida Man eating the robot while on bath salts.

[@XelionGraves]

@@disorganizedorg Beat me to it XD

[@artemiomarifosque7927]

Belated Happy 3 Kings , Stephen & Elvie Colbert!

[@angrydoggy9170]

Sounds like a solid idea. I bet you can get a shitload of information from toilets.

[@HyperactiveNeuron]

At least the toilet could tell you if it's solid or not

[@angrydoggy9170]

@@HyperactiveNeuron Less processed cheese more fibre buddy.

[@amberzec]

A human muzzle..makes sense lol

[@sepiae]

04:19 Excellent for when you need a get-away car.

[@disorganizedorg]

I wonder how the vehicle registration will deal with that... "Color: any"?

[@LoPhatKao]

now i want a terminator head coffee machine xD

[@Merakis100]

"The toilet thinks we should get sushi" Comedy gold.

[@bamboosho0t]

I see what you did there… 😏 Well played.

[@erichancock6815]

"If we eat Taco Bell again it's going to hire the pillow to kill me" would be in contention for that gold.

[@MrSknottykid]

I’m onto you Hugh Jackman! I mean, “Huge Jacked Man?” It’s abit on the nose don’t you think? 😂

[@Opus313]

I can see the BMW I Vision Dee being popular amongst professional getaway drivers...

[@henrygvidonas9573]

Exactly my thought, too. The ideal vehicle for bank robbers, assassins, and... people who cheat on their spouse in their own neighbourhood.

[@oneirishpoet]

Or just your regular, everyday, douchebag BMW drivers (srsly I don't think I've ever seen any BMW that was not being driven by a total douchebag!)

[@Yngvarfo]

This KZbin channel is the only way to watch the show from Norway (barring nefarious methods, of course), so it's good that you put pretty much the entire show up here, with the playlist to string it all together. Well, mostly. For the Jan 16 playlist, this is the *first* clip, while the intro and the monologue are the third and fifth clips, respectively. The Hugh Jackman interview is scattered in between, all out of order, and the Mimi Webb song is missing.

[@mightyone3737]

Sippy-cups Steve, give one a try! Grown ups call them 'travel mugs', I call it my 'I can drop this and it won't all spill' solution, it also helps prevent disaster if I snort-laugh while trying to drink. Also, I feel like that robo-pillow idea is interesting, but I can't help but think of people smothering their spouses due to snoring frustration when I hear the marketing, because if this pillow doesn't work it's going to end badly. Also also, if you have to tell a spouse/potential future spouse/adult child to stop playing a video game loudly when you're trying to sleep, you're probably justified in using the murder pillow to smother them, just saying. I feel a lot like when I stopped playing video games I lost most of my patience with video games/people that play them.

[@HashknightGaming]

What is wrong with a good video game not much different from a movie it's just interactive.

[@rca-in-glasgow6781]

LMFAO The writing on this show deserves an award! Haha 😅

[@toptims3248]

Can't wait to see people with the Mutalk and an Meta Quest 2 on their head at the same time

[@stevek4070]

the food delivery bots have a hard time traveling on anything but the cleanest of concretes so you might have to wait longer for your perfectly luke warm food.

[@jackya]

Am I the only one who's first thought was "Oh maybe they'll fix the sidewalk for those food robots and then people in wheelchairs will finally be able to use them." guh. faith in humanity: -covfefe

[@Echo81Rumple83]

That is the saddest yet spot-on observation I've read to date 😖

[@tach5884]

My first thought was "Someone's gonna steal them or their stuff."

[@SpaceForceCommander]

Golfi needs miles and miles of cable on the golf course and doubles as a bomb detonating robot.

[@mattsessions27]

Useful, because after 18 holes of screwups, you're gonna want to blow shit up.

[@janinemeier7201]

Hilarious segment.

[@hughjackman3498]

Hello dear fan how are you doing ❤

[@NotSure-dv6kv]

Last thing I need is the toilet telling me I drink too much.

[@andrewstamford1988]

Or anything else for that matter.

[@chrishei3111]

That dude literally eats shit so don't listen to him!

[@Echo81Rumple83]

Or that I'm not drinking enough water, despite having to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes AFTER drinking said water. If it could tell me my sodium levels, then it wouldn't be a problem.

[@davidslayer]

this had me crying. 🤣😂😭😹😹

[@robertpearson8546]

How long does the cable need to be for Golfi to play a round of golf?

[@krisfrederick5001]

Fun Fact: The only thing Stephen loves more than Tech is Sport. 👍🏼

[@kendalledwards2030]

The Lord of the Rings?

[@YusufGinnah]

😆🤣 I would've guessed _playing Joe Biden..._ 😎👍🏼

[@GodTierComments]

@@kendalledwards2030 Whoosh?

[@chrishei3111]

@@GodTierComments this isn't reddit filth

[@chelonnyamidas]

The toilet thinks we should get sushi 🤣🤣🤣

[@thisbushnell2012]

the bathroom was once the ONLY SPOT in the house where one could have COMPLETE ISOLATION FROM INTRUSION. Cell phones made that 'optional'. This device makes it IMPOSSIBLE.

[@dredgerivers7730]

Think how embarrassed you'll be to find out about the device by getting a KZbin plaque for 100,000 views.

[@KOKO-uu7yd]

​@@dredgerivers7730😳🤣🤣🤣

[@KitC916]

simply don't buy it

[@ChristophBrinkmann]

You can choose not to buy it. Thus making this device also "'optional'" - why did you even put that in single quotes, anyway? Less importantly, it would be double quotes, not single, secondly, why set it apart with quotes at all?

[@d.e.7467]

Those food robots are already on college campuses. I've seen them on Oregon State's webcams.

[@yogab]

I think it would look awesome if you wore the Mutalk with an Oculus headset and headphones🙈🙉🙊

[@Yogabba]

I see what you did there!

[@C-Ra]

Love this man!

[@chicagoboy1106]

*Did Stephen just have a "cyborgasm" on late night and wipe it up on camera? Sorry, but the spilt coffee comes into question?🤣!*

[@davidanderson_surrey_bc]

Every porch pirate in Miami will be salivating over the prospect of unattended Uber Eats robots rolling down their sidewalk.

[@studio85amsterdam]

Omg never laughed so much in a while 😂😂😂

[@GodTierComments]

Omg never did drugs in a while 😂😂😂

[@studio85amsterdam]

@@GodTierComments hahha yes i noticed after i wrote

[@SpaceForceCommander]

Of course Mutalk’s advertising says the gamer has a girlfriend so he needs their product! 😂

[@mk1st]

You could put some snacks in there and keep him really happy.

[@DB-sm6eu]

I think that was his mom yelling

[@jackscratch785]

That was his mom.

[@babybijou969]

“The toilet thinks we should have sushi.” 🤣🤣

[@IIllIIllIl]

The mutalk legitimately may be a game-changer in our house… but yeah they look funny

[@TheMrVengeance]

What's the point of them? Just get a good mic in a good position and you know.. don't yell at night?

[@IIllIIllIl]

@@TheMrVengeance I could explain it to you but I wouldn’t be able to understand it for you too.

[@TheMrVengeance]

@@IIllIIllIl Go ahead and explain.

[@alanbevington4875]

So cool to see Corey here!!!

[@embreis2257]

let us hope Stephen's team picked only the most absurd and superfluous devices from CES. because if that is the best we could do then we are pretty much done

[@gl15col]

Yeah, these are far from the most absurd and superfluous devices...

[@mwater_moon2865]

Oh? would you rather hear about the baby stroller that will follow along automatically while you carry your baby in your arms? (until it gets too close, too far, finds an obstacle, gets stolen, etc.)

[@honkinbubbafulton8791]

I like this because it reminds me of the old Colbert Report segments.

[@phattman5559]

I miss John Batiste, please come back😢🙏

[@Ulrich.Bierwisch]

I try to imagine a group of young people in 5 years hanging around in a park - not looking together at the latest TikTok on the phone but having VR-headsets, headphones and a Mutalk thing on to hang out together. I try to imagine but it doesn't work. All I can imagine is that those companies are going to disappear much earlier. The youth will not hang out in the metaverse with isolation gear on.

[@Greentrees60]

Actually, while the exact mutalk looks really stupid, the issue comes up a lot. Young folk live in tiny apartments, and the guys like to voice chat while they are gaming. Their partners/roommates often need quiet (especially since the games are often 11 pm to 3 am), and the guys would prefer to have a way of continuing the voice call without bothering their partner/roommate

[@Ulrich.Bierwisch]

@@Greentrees60 I think the whole problem of VR is, that it actually appeal to nerds sitting alone at home - mostly older guys with enough money for the equipment but not so much interesting for the advertising industry. Facebook/Meta tries to press this into the wrong market and this is bad for the companies that follow this direction. That Mutalk thing might be an idea to talk without bothering others but it looks terrible and I can't imagine wearing this for hours.

[@Greentrees60]

@@Ulrich.Bierwisch firmly agreed - it looks SO stupid. It wouldn't surprise me if some alternative tech arises though, especially since so many people are now taking meetings from home

[@redcomet7024]

Funny, they made a human e-muzzles

[@dianewilliams1125]

The wink at the end! What!

[@javierarcadioespinalrodrig2293]

1:53

[@robertdouglas3417]

I need the Mutalk for my brother’s running commentary while watching Fox News and ballgames.

[@SKarthikeyan75]

The great Cori Wong!

[@charlieee625]

This segment was particularly unhinged: from contract murder with a smart pillow to alligators humping autonomous food delivery robots. No notes.

[@michaelg3088]

The pee analyzer should be called "The Donald"...lol

[@SpaceForceCommander]

There’s free food for you if you can open the Uber Eats Robot.

[@jakubLonghorn]

I wish I had that for my grandfather when he was screaming at the tv for hockey games was what I was thinking until he made it a sex thing 😂

[@Echo81Rumple83]

I could've used it on dad when he was yelling at the six o'clock news 😆

[@jakubLonghorn]

@@Echo81Rumple83 Depends on which side he was on, doesn’t it? 😂

[@stephanielight4161]

....... "but the toilet thinks we should get Sushi" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@YusufGinnah]

I love _'Huge Ackman'_ No other wolverine could wolverine like his wolverine...

[@TheRealDieYoung]

the gaming muzzle is killing me🤣🤣

[@1TrueGem]

The mutak... Omg 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@d.b.1176]

“Game Gimp” lol😂

[@DuranmanX]

I always wanted a ballgag while gaming

[@fawadahmad5388]

The Late Show With Stephen Colbert is one of the best platforms for learning as well as entertaining.

[@wkahn1005]

What was Joe Biden doing in Ukraine 3 days before Trump took over then off to Switzerland meeting with China's Xi Jing ping... Biden returns to DC he then removes the Documents ..........FOLLOW THE MONEY..........

[@narayanalee]

hire the pillow to kill me !! AHHAHHAHAHHAH

[@jakubLonghorn]

Enough of the royal family! We fought a war to give them the finger and now we give them book royalties?!

[@marct9942]

You're not really up on modern history, are you?

[@jakubLonghorn]

@@marct9942 😂You’re pathetic

[@enviromental2565]

I would actually get the Mutalk for my grandson if I thought he would wear it. When he is playing online games with his friends a lot of screaming at the top of his lungs seems to be involved. Right now we stick him in the hallway that goes to our addition that has doors on both ends. Still doesn't mute the yelling enough, lol.

[@gregoryfoster4038]

Sound Reduction Gimp Mask. Sign me up 😁😁😁

[@kenek629]

"the pillow is listening" killed me 🤣

[@JamesJones-mm2nm]

That worth the wait to see! Damn TV!

[@irishboymalloy]

I love Corey Wong so much

[@sophistichistory4645]

You can see, with these "Cyborgasm" story transitions, Steven struggles not to say...... ..............."Meanwhile".

[@Bongofurry]

Finally a topic Steph is expert. The toilet king !

[@rita2715]

Finally, a solution to playing golf!

[@UberLummox]

All this time I thought those people on the golf courses were already robots.

[@MarkBarrett]

I'd imagine, e-ink on car body panels, is likely to become a real thing. RGB on computers became a standard feature.

[@666t]

BMW iX Flow uses electronic ink as seen on Jay Leno's Garage KZbin

[@MarkBarrett]

@@666t Good catch. I really do think this will make it to production cars. (Regardless of if I'd use it myself.)

[@mk1st]

“No judge, it couldn’t have been me speeding. My car is blue.”

[@rparl]

Too bad RBG didn't live to drive an RGB car. That would have been even better than the snail driving the Chrysler so someone could exclaim, Man! Look at that S car go!

[@0HARE]

Top comedy, Stephen!

[@TWDay-sy6nq]

Cory Wong is fantastic.

[@seattlekarim964]

There is a "cut" in the putting robot video (watch the cable). Does that mean it took even longer than that to setup?

[@mr.joshua6818]

I'm going to wait a while to buy a Game Gimp. At least until they work out the kinks...

[@dennismoore2787]

good one, but only one other person got the "kinks" part? Pay attention people

[@dtvfan24]

1:41 - 1:48 , classic tech, oh those were the days when the download was so slow you can make a drink and it would still be downloading

[@jtjtjt8390]

I like the podcasts bit lol I don't even know what channel this is on lol I've always just watched it on KZbin lol

[@lynnerholmes]

THANK YOU for providing closed captioning considerations for the Deaf and hearing impaired!

[@hughjackman3498]

Hello dear fan how are you doing ❤

[@nelivv]

The last thing I need is for companies and the government knowing my sleeping habits. And the toliet giving medical institutions information on what's is in my urine. I'll pass on this "inventions".

[@tiffanyroberson9773]

Lmao the college I went to has those, it’s funny how often they get stuck and freak out if people are walking at them from different directions in sidewalk traffic 😂

[@robo5013]

The pee disk attached to the front of the toilet is the excuse for missing that all men have been waiting for.

[@DerekHoscorner]

Stephen Colbert cyborgasm ces edition awesomeness job

[@dannyburleigh1]

The results of OVERKILL TECHNOLOGY is sleepless nights and CRANKY DAYS!!~Danny Burleigh 2023.

[@CallMeGailyn]

So, thousands of people who freak over wearing a 1-ounce mask are going to have that heavy thing dangling off their faces? Pretty funny.

[@raymellon9572]

I can see those robots rolling down the street covered in flapping seagulls.

[@pg9193]

Whatever intern is editing these for KZbin is doing a bang-up job! Anyway, we'll be right back with Hugh Jackma.....

[@nobleharvey9935]

I saw the 'golfi' cords and thought about it. I'm thinking spaghetti golf? Cords everywhere? Nah. Next!

[@amberandrews6842]

I want the coffee maker! That is amazing.

[@davidanderson_surrey_bc]

So that urine gadget collects data eh? And on whose server is that being stored? Also, whose job is it to clean the thing? And what happens if pee isn't the only substance to contact its sensor? And if two little blue lines appear, does that mean I'm pregnant?

[@mecha-sheep7674]

That gator caught me, because I did not expect that.

[@brianjennings7644]

thanks..loading the podcast popped up "Late Night with Seth Meyers"..how nice.

[@matenzo]

Dear god at that gaming muzzle

[@kevinfager.]

Thanks BMW. Those brightly colored signs and lights that seemed to think they’d keep us safe were getting far too much of our attention. Lifesaver. And fun!

[@Aaackermann]

That had some Craig Davis vibes! :-D