Meanwhile... The Rise Of The Necrobots | The Bittersweet Merger Of Spirit And JetBlue

Meanwhile... In search of some fresh nightmare fuel? Look no further than this story about reanimated spider corpses. Also, Stephen raises a glass of bittersweet orange drink in celebration of the merger between Spirit Airlines and JetBlue. #Colbert #Comedy #Meanwhile
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

[@EverywhereAndyMorrison]

“Shrieking inbred evolutionary cul-de-sac” is powerful literary construction. Brilliant writing as always

[@juangazol4997]

Answer: Trump

[@larryscarr3897]

Alabama?

[@rat-craftedeggsalad4598]

The Necrobots?

[@holdenmcgroin3995]

This whole segment was above-par!

[@film9491]

Yet the first scenario he described was inbreeding while the second, which include this phrase, was so far outbreeding that it was inter species

[@philip4534]

As a former graduate student. If an experiment works the first time, it is a joy that can bring you out of the crippling depression for a few minutes. That is her face

[@poopsonastick13]

As someone currently writing up her dissertation thesis I def watched that clip a few times try and get a contact high 😅

[@B00s3]

@@poopsonastick13 Good Luck on the dissertation.

[@hmq9052]

Why didn't you graduate?

[@B00s3]

@@hmq9052 The experiment went horribly wrong the second time around.

[@poopsonastick13]

@@B00s3 thanks i hate it here. But i still love the work so I’m gonna make it! 💪🏽

[@thisbushnell2012]

"it was.....turbulent?" There could be no better way to deliver that punchline. 😆

[@rosy111]

agreed wholeheartedly

[@alumpyhorse]

😂

[@carltontaylor6500]

He really landed that joke

[@NancyPower33]

It was the airplane "ding" for me! 🤣🤣🤣

[@OneillSG7]

Im a bit tired of airline jokes. Only people like comedians who are on planes all the time think they're funny. Sorry, but airlines are NOT a part of everyday lives for most people.

[@Mogthrasir1989]

Best part of the Necron Spiderpocalypse at 3:19 "...we placed a needle in it, not knowing what was going to happen..." opening line to a Zombie Robot Spider Horror movie, if I've ever heard one.

[@DeadMech1]

This is literally a "They were so busy asking if they could to bother asking if they should" moment.

[@Taladar2003]

Maybe they can have an exchange program with the AI people who seem to have the opposite problem.

[@jaylowry4082]

@@Taladar2003 We're science, all about coulda not shoulda. - Patton Oswalt kzbin.info/www/bejne/oKu2Yot3epZkaLc

[@outseeker]

yes. i don't think there will be any benefit from manually actuating dead spiders, long known to use hydraulics for their legs..

[@pvttj8572]

V. B.

[@Surge1077]

I assume you're talking about Jet Blue buying Spirit Airlines? 😃

[@TheMulToyVerse]

Such a simple and direct “nope” And then moving on to the next bit really cements it as a classic No follow up or expansion of the contest; just “nope”

[@yudithcaron8053]

I guess the contest included answering questions about what is their bread, what is their tuna, and what is their chicken.

[@PaulaZF]

I saw that coming from a mile away and it was still AWESOME!

[@whizthesugoi]

I was waiting for that as the spider punchline, then got it right after Was great

[@kuskesh_haramzadeh]

Colbert's comedic timing is impeccable. And his writers know how to set the pace of his monologues to take full advantage of his mastery of the craft. What a perfect show. 👏👏👏

[@lordcaptain73]

That chat with St Vincent was so sweet, I’m glad she’s been on this week as I’d never heard of her before p, not a lot of room in my Spotify list which is filled with The Prodigy and The Crystal Method. I’m so glad to go through her amazing catalogue.

[@KnowGoodHuman]

Überzone, Juno Reactor, Pendulum, Propellerheads fit nicely with what you've been listening to.

[@BonJoviBeatlesLedZep]

She's amazing, isn't she?

[@donkfail1]

First day I thought "Great guest artist!" Second day - "Oh, wow! Double up!" Third day - Started hoping she was a new steady band member. Today - A little sad. But still, it was nice...

[@FrankBenlin]

Look her up playing at Austin City Limits. The New York video is another favorite.

[@LMDinNC]

She’s extraordinary. He used to have her on the old show, which is the first time I saw her. Check out her collab with David Byrne.

[@jwn741]

really respect how you and your staff always seem to be giving love to deserved talent.

[@stephenguess]

I about fell out of my chair when Stephen said, "Want a free Subway Sandwich for life...NOPE!!!" 😂🤣😂🤣

[@rosy111]

same lol

[@skumchiken01]

it is the only true answer

[@story_rook1581]

Best line in the video.. 😂😂😂

[@warriorscholar41]

I was saying to myself, "I really hope he just moves on." Then he did just that.

[@karenhawkin4588]

Only Stephen Colbert could do a story like this on spiders despite him having a spider named after him and still have my entomological arse love him :)

[@brandonbuckles826]

Lewis: "Awww" Lewis' brain: "Where the hell is MY picture Stephen? "

[@buddymaxwell6881]

Louis

[@UberLummox]

@@buddymaxwell6881 Leuis

[@UberLummox]

Who's da broad on the guitar?

[@charleshash4919]

@@UberLummox Professionally known as St. Vincent

[@UberLummox]

@@charleshash4919 Thank you sir.

[@laalaa99stl]

🎶Necro-bot, Necro-bot, does whatever a... dead spider with a needle in it can! 🎶

[@JEFFKRYPTO]

😂

[@davidlundquist1979]

"Can he swing, from a web? No he can't, He's a corpse!"

[@rosy111]

@@davidlundquist1979 brilliant 😂

[@kerrynicholls6683]

Accurate 😆

[@daviddupoise6443]

YES YES YES YES, YES!!!! St Vincent is so brilliant and clever. Such a creative treat to have her and so glad she could work in in the schedule as musical guest for the WHOLE week. This makes me very happy. Love the picture of the young Annie Clark and younger Stephen together. Cute!

[@Egooist.]

_Only a good guy with a necrobotic spider can stop a bad guy with a necrobotic spider._

[@slyasleep]

„the shrieking evolutionary cul-de-sac“ - that was one of the better introductions in recent times.

[@rocketman544]

"Big news in travel news, otherwise known as Hudson News..." that's an underrated joke!

[@richardashton7406]

More than the actual Meanwhile segment, I can not express how much I truly and thoroughly enjoy the precursor word salad that introduces each Meanwhile segment…Steven; please please please release a book with all of these introductory word salads. You’ll make a fortune. Alternatively, as you characteristically often do, you could donate the profits to some worthy charities.

[@wirelesmike73]

I'd buy the hell out of that book!🤓

[@yudithcaron8053]

I can see the charity as providing salad and other veggies to people in need. The could have Mandy's to co-sponsor the thing.

[@danielfcody]

Pleeeeaaase

[@LaurenCheriSOCFI]

I would buy this book!!!! Truly one of the geniuses of our time!

[@updem]

I took a spirit flight home to Detroit from Myrtle Beach this year, I had to pay extra to get my fiance and I seats together, then found out they only allow small bags as carry ons, not the industry standard 22' bags every other airline takes, so we then had to pay to check our bags. Then we passed on the not so complimentary refreshments, pretty sure had we needed to use the restroom there would have been a credit card reader on the door too.

[@RealBradMiller]

Actually there's a fee for NOT using our bathrooms, so we're going to need to charge you for that, too!

[@Echo81Rumple83]

"Enter into the loving arms of Dereg Airlines" 😖

[@robo5013]

22 foot bags

[@RG-gk4yi]

How cheap was the flight though

[@RealBradMiller]

@@robo5013 Imagine running to catch your flight with 22 foot rolling luggage. 🤣

[@JimiTime1]

I literally LOL at “Want free subway for life? Nope!” 😂🤣😂

[@firockfinion3326]

I have a feeling that Stephen once had a very bad experience flying on Spirit Airlines.

[@kharma7755]

I have a feeling that anyone who has flown with Spirit Airlines has had a very bad experience

[@neerajamb]

At least. I suspect his writers have flown the Spirit too

[@joelhammer3538]

Do you know anyone who flew Spirit Airlines and *didn't* have a bad experience?🤔

[@com3t]

@@kharma7755 Spirit is either terrible or terrible. There is no middle ground

[@GaudyMarko]

doubt it, they're a budget airline and he's rich AF

[@Abedeuss]

Well, we all know nothing bad ever came from a combination of necromancy and robotics. Necrons? Never heard of them.

[@emixam6947]

Goddamn pls not Necrons. Give him Orks, give me Tau, but pls not that

[@stephenneal23]

We're one more step closer to servo skulls

[@murphyjackedoff5970]

m.kzbin.info/www/bejne/j2LTi3hmbNuGnKs

[@sea_triscuit7980]

@@stephenneal23 wouldn't mind seeing a dreadnought walking around haha

[@emixam6947]

@Eszrah I can totally imagine thé scene 2. The emperor’s just going “Ok, so first, I make a movie star president for some reason. The Nurgle takes over for like 3 years, then I have humanity start building Necrons…” Meanwhile there’s 2 Custodes in the back wondering what the fuck he’s doing

[@Esrom_music]

St.V is brilliant. Love that she's on the show this week. I Hope some of the music becomes available.

[@BogeyTheBear]

5:06 My own six-word horror story: "I thought _you_ hired the clown..."

[@paulcrelly2132]

I owe such a huge debt to you Stephen for helping me make it through the last few years. Comedians are my heroes.

[@rosy111]

when the spider jumps out from the diagram! 😂

[@jimzamerski]

“Evolutionary cul de sac” 😆😆😆😆 absolutely brilliant 😆

[@MeleeTiger]

I'm honestly surprised that no one tried the spider thing sooner, we've known about them having hydraulic muscles for a while.

[@DARWINZOO]

They've been playing with the webs

[@adrianthoroughgood1191]

This is pretty tame tbh. There's another group of scientists that are experimenting with controlling live flying insects by attaching electrodes to their brains. They want to direct them to pollinate plants.

[@DARWINZOO]

@@adrianthoroughgood1191 new york times? Lmao

[@genomitchalinni8106]

I can't sleep. Mitch is crying for flood relief.

[@NewMessage]

"Mooooom... the robot's starting to smell agaaaaain...."

[@AnimalLover101195]

okay that subway joke though 😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹

[@neuronic85]

Anyone who's recently "enjoyed" a food cylinder from Subway laughed way too hard at that joke.

[@pamelacass9642]

Haven't flown in decades; threaten spiders from time to time. Good show!

[@NewMessage]

That photo is a lovely way to commemorate the day Stephen got to meet her eyebrows.

[@workingtoseethelight8244]

We love you, St. Vincent, thanks so much for the music, and to Stephen everything!

[@CyclopsWasRight616]

The Spirit stuff is good, but nothing will ever beat Jon's "Arbys, Challenge Your Stomach to a Fight."

[@357CLOUDY]

No, it is the Amazon camping commercial.

[@wirelesmike73]

The writing of the Meanwhile intros is spectacular. But, you really have to give credit where credit is due when it comes to how difficult it is to deliver those lines. The Late Show team is a real powerhouse of talent from front to back, and every which way in between.

[@BlownMacTruck]

I actually find them really annoying and skip them. They’re too long.

[@wirelesmike73]

@@BlownMacTruck Thanks for sharing🙄

[@BlownMacTruck]

@@wirelesmike73 You post on a public forum and then complain when someone responds? Good job there. I didn’t even say anything bad about liking it - I just said *I* don’t prefer it as a response to your post. Grow the hell up.

[@wirelesmike73]

@@BlownMacTruck No, I posted to compliment the Late Show Crew, not to pull your fucking string. But, your self-important ass just couldn't resist shitting on someone else's opinion. I didn't ask for your fucking feedback on me or my comment. So, why don't you just skip right on by my post; the same way you skip the intros? Post your own damn comment if you have such strong feelings about it.🖕

[@sirdrakey]

the Choco Taco and now Spirit! Of course, being so close to Halloween, we may see a "Spirit Halloween" in a Spirit Airplane!

[@mechanicaldavid4827]

How about free Subway sandwiches filled with dead spiders for life/Halloween?

[@sirdrakey]

@@mechanicaldavid4827 well it would have more Tuna then the Tuna sandwich 🥪!

[@ernestomarcos0103]

The only way to stop a bad zombie robot spider is with a good zombie robot spider.

[@8ofwands300]

Good one!😉😉

[@benlutz1974]

A girl once asked what my favorite bit of a woman's anatomy was. I told her "her neck", sweet, sensitive and ripe for soft kisses... While she was quivering I said "Yep! I am definitely a neckrophiliac" and she choked on her coffee. Fun summer that was.

[@justinstephenson9360]

"can't we just walk to Rochester" maybe the last option before taking Spirit airlines but having been to Rochester, the first option should be "can we go anywhere else other than Rochester"!

[@RealRestEasy]

Lewis is my favorite of the amazingly talented musicians on this show. That Les Paul is my dream guitar and/or the custom II. I can’t wait till the day I can afford one. Please keep Lewis as long as he will stay. Thank you all for the great content and laughs you give me day after day! ❤️‍🔥

[@agactual2]

My reaction to the Subway contest was exactly the same as Stephen's. If I had a free lifetime supply of Subway, I would likely never use it.

[@phillipgathright8001]

I feel like the Jet Blue/Spirit merger is like shoveling more crap onto an already huge pile of manure.

[@yudithcaron8053]

A.k.a. consolidating.

[@Zenithx3]

"Death Does Not Compute" Brilliant.

[@eh1702]

Gotta win an IgNobel prize.

[@dshepherd107]

We’re doomed. At least Stephen makes me laugh as we speed toward that cliff.

[@selenawolf2466]

...but why spiders? Of all creatures, you had to make zombie robot spiders? 😱

[@antoniopannuti2088]

I don't know... but I suspect Stephen will have some splainin to do when he get home tonight 😂

[@laalaa99stl]

I believe we were promised "Dig a Pony" some time this week. I want my pony! 😢

[@harrymarkandjohn]

You'll hear a good deal of it (instrumentally) when you watch the Thursday monologue (transition music at the end). But yeah, I wish they put out a full video of the song...

[@TrishTruitt]

That was so sweet how he showed her that picture of them both. ☺

[@theodorevogiatzis874]

Robotic spiders were in a Star Wars the Clone Wars Episode. I guess inspiration comes from everything literally everything 😂😂

[@jcjc4164]

Also Wild Wild West Big Metal Spider

[@presentfuture7563]

And Doctor Who, second episode of the Eccleston series

[@ahorrell]

Whoever wrote those Shatner and Subway jokes did a fantastic job EDIT: Also the Spirit joke! Nice stuff

[@user-ij6vg8xq2r]

Necro-spiders. Thanks Stephen!

[@izzy_hatake]

I’m crushing hard on St. Vincent😍

[@lesleyghostdragon3149]

Excellent Steph-venn diagram! Very BOO-lean 🕷 👻

[@Merakis100]

I love how you just left Subway hangin' haha. I don't go there any more either, probably for the same reasons you don't.

[@lizardguyNA]

Necrobotic is definitely something that H.R. Giger was drawing, I'm sure of it.

[@artbyjennyray]

"We're in a Tim Burton fever dream." Indeed!

[@MikayelMcGee]

Meanwhile is a tour de force! Excellent work, as always.

[@DANNYonPC]

2:40 Bringing a new definition to deadlifting

[@jayluck8047]

“Spiders and Snakes are solitary creatures. Imagine how scary I’d be if they ran in packs?” - Karl Smallwood

[@DJ_Kers]

The packfiend

[@somethingclever4563]

@@DJ_Kers lol

[@aaronwentzel4145]

Didn't you ever see Daddy Long Legs? They don't make webs and can hunt in packs.

[@lexslate2476]

Garter snakes spend the winter rooming together in holes in the ground. Show up at the right time, and you can find an absolutely staggeringly huge number of snakes, all of them technically venomous. I say technically venomous, because their venom is really just something to help them digest frogs, nothing that could do you any real harm. Unless you are a small frog. Then beware!

[@somethingclever4563]

@@aaronwentzel4145 wow. I legit didn't know either of those things about them lol thanks for the info kind stranger

[@desmondnel5706]

I wanted to like this video, only to discover I'd already liked it. So many good jokes.

[@kerrynicholls6683]

I hate when that happens.

[@mikotomisaka8714]

And here I thought Necromorphs in Dead Space were already terrifying enough. Welp guys, time to start getting rid of all your vents and getting your Plasma Cutters ready cause if you start hearing a voice in your head saying "Make us Whole" that means things have already started going to hell.

[@DrownedInExile]

Pity the Necromorphs weren't nearly as deadly as EA :(

[@BrandonOsborn404]

Annie is such a lovely person! Yu are a fortunate man, Stephen!

[@johnhalcroft7283]

Loving the Love for the musicians. 😁

[@HowlingWolf518]

Great, now I'm even getting cheap jumpscares in my _late-night comedy._

[@wirelesmike73]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@tenzhitihsien888]

That pic of Shatner was a beard away from being Santa Claus.

[@SuperSolMan1]

Meanwhile is one of the best things on earth.

[@maelingnaihe1781]

The Bands Groove is absolute FIRE 🔥

[@florete2310]

"A Venn diagram where spiders, robots and zombies overlap"... I am LMFAO😂😂😂

[@mannyalejo772]

How to make tiny grippers from a dead spider is destined to be the most popular school science fair project of all time.

[@jimd7875]

Bass Lady is amazing, and funny too!! I am going to buy her album, a turntable and receiver. I have been saving up for this moment! Lol

[@PocketBrain]

Albany, NY to Rochester, NY about 3:25 drive. Time to check in, get thru security, retrieve your luggage, hire a taxi... might be quicker to drive anyway.

[@maltedmilk6888]

I love William Shatner! I wish I could have found his wallet so I could meet him when I returned it.

[@RealBradMiller]

Someone at a fruit stand found a wallet. It was William Shatner's. That's the story! XD

[@squireob]

The researchers added "Necrobots are good and useful. Necrobots are good and useful." twenty times before shivering and finishing "Everyone will have one" and shuffling away blank-eyed.

[@notsure1969]

Wow! Dead spider robots, William Shatner's wallet, AND Spirit Airlines? This monologue had it all.

[@whaleymom76]

"You made a carnival claw out of a dead arachnid. We now live in a Tim Burton fever dream." Possibly the best concept ever!!

[@michelehemlokhexwhite4310]

I hope the spirit of a dead spider can provide the uplift in moments of airline turbulence ❤

[@TheUnvarnishedTruth-]

4:38 *The only thing worse than leaving his wallet at the fruit stand, would have been losing his phaser or communicator in the corn bin!*

[@moniqueengleman873]

Yeah, if that happened he couldn't get beaned up at the farmers market.

[@TheUnvarnishedTruth-]

@@moniqueengleman873 LOL !

[@rjpittman4510]

I loved the been diagram part. Cried laughing

[@aaronspruance]

Hey Meanwhile team, just a fellow Jackal over from the Meyers program (he had Covid...again), anyhow, this was one of the best Meanwhiles ever! The longer jokes/stories fit quite nicely together to create...

[@Tanlantas]

Nice introduction of the band.. One of the best I've seen. Always enjoy the show.

[@gealyca]

As far the short setups go, this one is my favorite!

[@frecklefacedgit]

Necro-bots. Don't teach them how to play chess. They may eat children instead of breaking their fingers. However, they might like to pick up a bishop, a knight or a queen.😂😂

[@michaelstrong3587]

Best intro in months! Lol. Hugs.

[@sixxiom1142]

I mean...if you won free subway sandwiches for life, and ate subway sandwiches everyday, then they probably wouldn't have to give you free sandwiches for that long.

[@traceythompson1092]

That might be because of a premature demise or if history serves, a nice long stay in a state run facility where the inmates are not allowed delivery.

[@freyashipley6556]

The necrobot research should be nominated for an Ig-Nobel.

[@amyrobbins5602]

I love that St. Vincent got to preform on your show. So classy

[@michaelcurcio4025]

Colbert is a north American treasure

[@Godric_71]

"Oh my god, it's a spider. Get me the spider."

[@K.night_]

The spider thing is fking horrifying?? Stephen had me laughing the whole time though!

[@db8556]

Aah, THAT'S the Spirit, Stephen!

[@AdamGingrich]

This meanwhile is fire

[@phranerphamily]

Lovely picture of Stephen and St.Vincent

[@berserkirclaws107]

Don't let St Vincent go !!! But then again 😔 "Always leave the cage door open so the bird can return."

[@AsianInvasions]

When I learned that spiders move with a hydraulic system, I had a thought. I never though someone would actually do it though.

[@Berny27]

Let’s go Owls!!! WE’RE GOING TO RULE THE WORLD… by making it better 🤩

[@mylucidlife495]

It seemed he had a crush on that lady. He usually never speaks to the guest musicians that long. But he had been giving her time each night. And then he breaks out the picture. It kind of confirms he is sweeter on her than most of the guest musicians. Cool to see.

[@highlandhousestudio6638]

Sooooo, Whats up with the short intros to meanwhile?? Man! those long intros made my day.. I miss them already.