Steven Seagal Went Too Far in /Today You Die

"Walks like a black man, breathes like a killer." (c) Dinky Di about Steven Seagal.
Today You Die (2005) - one of the worst movies which was made with Steven Seagal inside. The plot was randomly generated by early versions of AI, the aikido master did 2 shots and theywere used in all fights of his stunt double with other folks.
Penguin Donny and I, Alex Lantz had to watch it through and now I have to say - I started to breath like a black killer.
00:00 - Crazy facts about the movie
01:43 - Seagal robs people
06:44 - A new friend
11:12 - Steven pranks everyone
15:14 - Seagal shoots random people

[@anabelapavio]

Great. review as always ;) Luv from Portugal m8!!! 🥰

[@alexlantz]

Thanks a lot to Portugal!

[@DoctorBiobrain]

I refuse to believe this movie had writers. I’m sure they just made it up as they went along and all the dialogue was improvised.

[@alexlantz]

They generated the script using very early chat bot

[@ardasozer8459]

Can you breakdown one penspinning combo from me pls?

[@Gojiraa666]

OMG treach!!!! I completely forgot about this……….gem 😂 nobody’s perfect I guess

[@brianp-c1609]

Hey, I figured it out……this is all about Max!

[@alexlantz]

Was it all his dream?

[@user-go2hq6wd8r]

What happened to pen stock?

[@Ben_ZDrine]

POP QUIZ hotshot: Seagull movies are known for their idiotic sycophantic lines about the aikido master's greatness, which is THE STUPIDEST - 1, "Are you REALLY as good as they all say you are?" 2, "That's why I bought you in, big poppa." 3, "Walks like a black man, breathes like a killer." 4, "WE'RE DEALING WITH THE INSTRUCTOR, whenever there's a mission that CANNOT FAIL they bring in THIS guy to train the troops, he's the kinda guy that'll drink a gallon a gasoline just to piss in your campfire, you could could drop this guy off at the Arctic circle and the next afternoon he'll show up at your poolside in a brand new suit with a fistful a pesos and a million dollar smile.."

[@alexlantz]

with pesos, a million smile, a hottest and more hair than he had before leaving

[@micnorton9487]

HEY BEN I gotta choose #3,, I HATE when black guys act like they're all that and REALLY hate Seagull acting like he's black lol...

[@Ben_ZDrine]

@@alexlantz Yes that line from On Deadly Ground is definitely the most ridiculous. Love the channel Alex, I was going to put the Russian phrase, "thanks from an American friend", but the translation was kind of complex with different words for male friend, female friend, and just general acquaintance. So, thanks from an American friend, signed, an untraveled guy lol.

[@Ben_ZDrine]

@@micnorton9487 I hate that too, my personal anti-favorite is the big poppa line - I wonder how many times they had to shoot that scene before they could get it without the camera man or the light man or somebody else laughing hysterically?

[@a.nonymouse]

Was surprised that we didn't see Steven Seagal's name when the Epstein client list came out... I thought for sure given his tastes in 'young women' that Steven had racked up some frequent flyer miles on the Lolita Express. We love Donnie the Penguin too, he's awesome!

[@alexlantz]

Thanks bro! Steven has his own express

[@yusufahmed-mo4ko]

ples post in pen stok ples 😢

[@amadujalloh4700]

Hey We MISS YOU

[@boblacotty]

Steven Seagal come back!!!