Stevie Noah: Christianity Gave Me Horrific Nightmares for 15 Years

[@Rose_Ou]

I had the worst anxiety, nightmares and I felt guilty 24/7 when I was religious. No religion = no fear/anxiety/feeling guilty for trivial things.

[@onedaya_martian1238]

Good for you !! Leaves more time for doing good things and enjoying life !! Brava !!

[@mattng4707]

I remember thinking I was going to burn in hell as a teenager 🔞🧒 .. It's all ludicrous

[@PqV72MT4]

After leaving evangelical Christianity l felt like l had given my self away and l was left with nothing. It was awful. Still trying to heal from that nonsense.

[@deborahgracectb]

One of the most prolific stories I've ever heard! Her story out gave me chills! Love Stevie ❤

[@tommihail6564]

Hi Stevie in 'Brissie'..I enjoyed your journey out of religious trauma..cheers Stevie and Tim from Melbourne Australia.😊

[@stevielovestrees]

Thank you for your support! xo

[@johnjohnson1657]

God Almighty I'm not even 50 minutes into this video and I'm already crawling inside...being on the outside of Christianity and looking in now I'm just as appalled as anyone and this woman is just bringing out a lot of the CRAP all of us had to deal with. What an absolute shame Christianity has been for a couple thousand years. Brutality. Nothing more. Nothing less. I'll get back to the video now...

[@garyc7125]

Part of my deconversion is watching other people that experienced the same 💩 as I did and coming out the other side. Thanks for what you do.

[@randoarchive]

I went through many years of night terrors too when I was a kid, and I couldn't talk to my parents about it. It was directly due to all the adults around me telling me that there were truly, really invisible monsters around me all the time, every moment of the day. I was told I had a guardian angel, but it's one angel against unlimited monsters, and I also needed armor? and if I didn't get the armor, the monsters would get me. I would see them in the dark corners, I couldn't go to the bathroom alone, I lived in fear for years. Eventually, I was forced to learn lucid dreaming to protect myself from those night terrors. It felt like a survival skill that I HAD to master to make it.

[@LittleKitty22]

That's how I grew up too! I'm not from a Christian background but "parents" loved to torment and terrify me with stories of evil ghosts that are everywhere and the more scared I would be, the more they would come and get me! I still occasionally get night terrors and sleep paralysis and to this day, I can only sleep with two or three lights on throughout the house. I'm in my forties! The fear and utter terror never left me.

[@johnjohnson1657]

Alright bud...done with the video. This was an OUTSTANDING video my man. Stevie was an OUTSTANDING guest...I've loved all of your videos and I hate to rank them but this has been one of my favorites...she was extremely intelligent and articulate and there was no B.S. whatsoever...she's got something figured out and I'm super impressed with who she is as a person. Kudos my man...just loved this interview.

[@offline34]

YES!!! I have had sleep paralysis also! It felt like some THING was sitting on my chest. I couldn't speak, move or scream! All I could do was look around in fear! A few seconds later it felt as if the thing left and I could then immediately move. Then there were other nights when I would have dreams of intense overwhelming fear with indescribable movement in the images I would see!!! I never thought anyone else had experienced this!!!

[@stevielovestrees]

we should talk!

[@offline34]

@@stevielovestrees I sent you a PM!

[@atheistmom3591]

I am really coming to enjoy this channel. We need to get you more subscribers, Tim. I really like how you balance holding to your views while still speaking with “grace”. Very well done.

[@jaclynrichmond1049]

After watching so many interviews and being exposed to a few different walks, it is very apparent to me that we all internalize the messages differently, even if we were raised the same denomination.

[@dianepeterson7977]

Stevie’s nightmares sound exactly like sleep paralysis which is when your body is paralyzed like when your in REM sleep but your mind is still awake. Sleep paralysis is terrifying because your amygdala is being stimulated and it is involved in the fight or flight response. Most people experience sleep paralysis at least once in their lives but when you are suffering from anxiety it is much more likely to happen and then the resulting sleep disturbance from the fear of having another episode just prolongs it. It feels like everything you described. It does feel other worldly and real but our dreams feel real too because we experience everything in our brain. They can stimulate areas of the brain and everything you experience feels as real as if it were happening.

[@KPenceable]

Loved it so far, relatable background

[@KPenceable]

Wow that's horrifying

[@ericapoe]

Stevie’s story connects with mine as well. I cane from a Pentecostal church where they to spoke in tongues, ran across the church “in the holy spirit” and I never felt the urge to fall back as the preacher nudged me with his finger. I also experienced really bad sleep paralysis and was told those were demons trying to take over but researching into Psychology I learned that wasn’t true. Every bad sleep is associated to satan and demons to Christians.

[@waltsudman]

Well worth watching, and love how you interview your guests Tim. Thank you!

[@jokich6379]

Saw this one a few weeks ago. Had to watched this one a second time. Had weird experiences also. Fascinated with her experiences and explanation. Thanks always for what you are doing.

[@maddiredfern]

Stevie makes such great points here. Especially about the metaphorical phrases that anyone can find meaning in like the phrase you said about locusts. Brilliant observation.

[@heatherclark8668]

Pastor:. God has a plan for your life. Me: What is it? Silence. Me again:. What is it? Crickets.

[@ac9938]

Ever since I became a believer, Ive had the most demonic dreams EVER! Ive also encountered spiritual experiences as well including the experiences you experiended. It was one of the reasons why I stepped away from it because I was like if this is how life is like being a Christian, I dont want to be part of this.

[@a.b.2405]

“Spiritual warfare” or something. Apparently you let the demons win or something.

[@positivevibes2468]

Oh my gosh Tim you are just precious. And Stevie you are a badass, thank you both for existing and helping others with your stories and Stevie through your work.

[@c.merritt7884]

What strikes me about the story of Lot and his daughters, is how the storyteller had to make the women the bad actors--THEY got Lot drunk, and THEY basically seduced/raped the old man. Good grief.

[@onedaya_martian1238]

And the consequence ? Work on Sunday, get killed with rocks. Disobey your father, get killed with rocks etc. Look at a catastrophe, get turned into a block of salt. Rape your dad...built in father and grandfather. Most bible stories are stoopid.

[@debrawehrly6900]

Where did Lots daughters get the wine from?

[@B.S._Lewis]

@@debrawehrly6900 Rookie. Everyone knows when escaping from the impending doom of meteorites specifically targeting your town the first thing you grab is your disaster preparedness satchel full of wineskins. I learned that in Sunday school.

[@B.S._Lewis]

No, the worst part is that the scribes left out the part where he was only pretending to be sleeping. Or maybe that's the best part...

[@debrawehrly6900]

@@B.S._Lewis how can a sleeping man perform sex? Impossible

[@atheistmom3591]

@StevieNoah - I’ve had sleep paralysis like the dream you described. And my parents and some of their Christian friends/church elders laid hands on me to pray that I would be released from satanic attacks. Scared the shit out of me - especially since I had a few “pre-cog” dreams about people dying. I’ve trained myself not to dream. 😶

[@onedaya_martian1238]

You dream, you have trained yourself to not recall any REM activity upon awakening. That is helpful, but it would be good to work out the anxieties causing such issues during sleep,

[@stevielovestrees]

@@onedaya_martian1238 you're spot on!

[@carmenburgos1616]

Im still living this shit as a Hispanic male from the island of Puerto Rico . Thsi Pentecostal shit runs rampant here and they love it and create chaos and soo much fear and allot of abuse .. It’s sadistic to live there and to actually still be around My moms Pentecostal community wich runs deeply in soo many areas ..Im a major mess thanks to them and lost 35 years of my own life and just shy of 5 years of these cult and still a mess …

[@enaroos4608]

Tim, at 2:11 you mentioned an atheist that was saved and it immediately struck a cord with me that, that person is my very own daughter who was "saved" at 26. I'm still struggling to understand.

[@tlejsu1996]

Love Love Love this interview!!

[@Neon-Shadowcaster]

Another enlightening conversation. Thank you!

[@bellezavudd]

Hi Stevie ! Nice to see you here. Wonderful interview. Love your insights.💚💛💜

[@anrose8335]

Stevie, my nightmares were different than yours as a christian, but now my dreams have turned the tables so to speak. As a christian for 75 years and brought up by nuns then in my first marriage being to a fundamental baptist and all that entails, I would have the most horrific "demon" infested dreams for years. But when I finally came to reason and worked things out with the logical part of my brain, and became an atheist, I began having dreams that feature me praying hard to the jesus/god to forgive me and telling him how much I adore him. Then I'd wake up laughing at myself for having such a dumb dream. I am still a born-again atheist for almost two years now. (I'm almost 77.) Thanks for your much needed input on the Harmonic Atheist.

[@crossroads8370]

The problem with her story is she said others around her experienced the same stuff she was experiencing nightmarish attacks so that means what she experienced wasn't just her own imagination but was something real because strangers around her seen and felt it to.

[@newyorkchamp9110]

Being free from christianity/ the false god of the fairy tale book, is such comfort

[@MisfitMods]

Oh the irony of it all

[@VonHanshaw]

Great story and content. Thank you Stevie Noah.

[@LuminesBreezer--]

Y'know, when she mentioned that piece about people while in those services being drawn in with such eventual ease, it took me back to my days of personal youth when in the church as I'd see family members clean their pockets with tithes and offering due to not only maintaining a church? But like me, entrusting their lives in these falsified prophecies given upon those opportunities someone _claiming_ to be one had actually shown up. However, you just never know until bullshit is actually listened to that one Sunday. And I'm so happy it served among the reasons why I'm an atheist today. ❤

[@davidgibbs7573]

It would seem that Christianity is on the way out. I doubt if it could last for another 50 years. History shows clearly that Gods do come and go eventually, and there is no reason why Christianity should be any different.

[@jitendraisaacs3019]

Absolutely loved this discussion.covered a large gamut of beleif Systems Simply awesome Tim. Love tthe variety of Guest youu bring to your. Channel

[@shaunigothictv1003]

Stevie started to drop some excellent knowledge from halfway into the video. She is Very intelligent.

[@BDGhost20]

Beautiful video 🤝

[@mattng4707]

i love " why are we concern about the father, son and the holy ghost" hahahaa religious trauma is real. Stevie thanks for conveying your experiences,

[@atheistmom3591]

@Tim - can you do a talk (maybe for Halloween) on new age ideas and the supernatural. I lost all that when I became an atheist and would love to hear another person’s perspective on it. This was really a great episode. 👍🏽👍🏽

[@alexlarsen6413]

Oh the irony of always getting commercials for some Christian apologetics course, or some online Bible course, on every atheist video I come across. 😂 Edit: I was suffering from sleep paralysis from 18 to 21 years old and I've never been religious (tried for a while, it never stuck ). This was at university while studying physics and philosophy of science, I don't believe in higher dimensions, string theory has failed...I was and still am an atheist and hardcore methodological and philosophical naturalist, yet this is true...at the moment it does seem very real. Even I was thinking demons. The scientific explanation is: During sleep paralysis, we're only half awake. We can see our real environment while at the same time seeing our dreams' manifestations too i.e. we're hallucinating. Also, the motor function center in our brain is at this point still turned off, protecting us from physically relieving our dreams and getting physically hurt in the process. That's where the paralysis comes from. It is an absolutely terrifying experience for sure, but to anyone suffering from this here's a trick that helped me get rid of it as soon as I'd learned what this was: if you feel you're being pulled or crushed and you see things, realize this is not real and no, you aren't dying, just relax. Don't struggle, don't panic, you'll only make it worse. Let go and focus on making the tiniest movement even with your pinky finger. Eventually (within seconds), you'll be able to do that and you'll immediately wake up.

[@onedaya_martian1238]

Good advice ! I have worked on making my dreams more lucid. It takes concentration and taking control, as best as one can, the involuntary/subconscious part of the brain. During the day, focus on whether you are dreaming or not. This will condition you mind to ask the same question while you are sleeping. Also prior to sleeping, while all is dark and very quiet, vividly imagine scenarios you enjoy. I like pretending I'm flying like superman...imagine the coolness of the fog of clouds as you soar through them, tumble from a high height and land on your feet. I believe the mind often deals with working out fears and contingencies in life, that are not dealt with during waking hours...like coping coming in late for a meeting or an exam. By preping the mind for what it does during sleep, takes some worthwhile effort. In the end, dreams can be fun experiences, like an amusement park or a brainstorming session where anything is possible and you are in control of the "action". Good luck with how you handle that 1/3 of your life :-)

[@rainbowkrampus]

I've only experienced sleep paralysis once so far. Fortunately I was already aware of sleep paralysis. I woke up feeling like I was falling. I quickly realized that I was still half asleep and this sensation of falling was really just my inability to perceive my bed through my senses. Kinda cool once I got over the initial shock. And yeah, it happened in a time of very high stress in my life. Drives me crazy that people are driven to associate these things with demons and mystic woo rather than a stress response and typical neurological behavior. Beyond the trauma of believing you're being attacked by demons it also just undercuts how interesting our brains really are as well as making it so that people can't seek proper care for the things troubling them since they have no vocabulary for their problems.

[@alexlarsen6413]

@@rainbowkrampus Well said. For me it was a stressful time as well when it started happening. I was in the middle of multiple hard exams I has to pass in order to pass the first academic year, so there was a lot of all nighters and I was really on edge. Also, I had just watched that Exorcism of Emily Rose horror movie, lol!

[@alexlarsen6413]

@@christianthinker2536 Because these are nightmares, and during nightmares we see what we fear the most due to neuropsychology but also social conditioning. That's why we see or just feel some dark, shadowy presence which many people experience and so did I. It's a typical primal fear of the dark and the unknown. Add to that the fact that you're paralyzed and thus helpless so the fear grows and grows, you often start panicking and your hart starts racing, the result of which can be you feeling pressure as tho you're being pulled down or as tho someone is pushing on your chest, as others have described. Other than this feeling of a presence in the dark, or hearing something move, the majority of other people actually see an old hag, representing a witch, another primal archetypal fear. At any rate, it's not like people actually see "demons" with horns and whatnot, it's just that because of either real or merely cultural religiosity, horror movies and general zeitgeist i.e. social conditioning I mentioned, many of us can assume demons. Interestingly enough, as zeitgeist changes, the stuff that folks see during these episodes also changes along with it, so as of relatively recently the increasing number of people has been seeing aliens...at the foot of their bed, or around it, etc.

[@LM-jz9vh]

@@christianthinker2536 The god of the Bible isn't real champ. I suggest you look into his origins and evolution over time. The Canaanite pantheon was conceived as a divine clan, headed by the *supreme god El;* the gods collectively made up the *Elohim.* Through the centuries, the pantheon of Canaanite gods evolved, so that *El and Asherah* were more important in earlier times, while *Baal* and his consorts came to fore in later years. *Asherah* - early semitic Mother goddess, "Lady of the sea," *consort of El,* also called Athirat, *the mother of 70 gods* *El* - the *chief deity,* god of the sky, *father of many lesser gods* and ruler of the divine assembly, *also worshiped by the Israelites* *El Elyon* -Special title of El as *"God most High"* The Book of Genesis itself describes the *patriarch Abraham* as a worshiper of El-also called El Shaddai and *El Elyon* -- building altars, offering sacrifices, and paying tithes to him. ------------------------------------------------------------------ *Deuteronomy 32:8* *When Elyon (El) gave to the nations their allotted inheritances,* when he divided the sons of Adam, he established the boundaries of the peoples *according to the number of the sons of El* (El and Asherah had *70* sons and in line with the Table of Nations in Genesis 10 *(70 nations)* each son *(Elohim)* received a particular territory or people like the Canaanite god Chemosh in Numbers 21:29) Yahweh’s portion was his people, Jacob, the lot of his allotted inheritance *(Yahweh was given Israel by his father, the chief Canaanite god El).* *Psalm 82* *’Elohim (Yahweh)* stands in the *council of ’El (chief Canaanite god)* In the midst of the gods *(Elohim)* he holds judgment. “How long will you judge unjustly, and show partiality to the wicked? Selah Render justice to the weak and the fatherless; vindicate the afflicted and the destitute. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.” They have neither knowledge nor understanding; they walk around in darkness; all the foundations of the earth are shaken. I said, “You are gods (Elohim), sons of Elyon (El), all of you; nevertheless, you shall die like mortals, and fall like any prince.” Rise up, O *’Elohim (Yahweh),* judge the earth; for you shall inherit the nations! ------------------------------------------------------------------ Watch Dr Christine Hayes at Yale University. Watch lecture 7 from 30:00 minutes onwards and lecture 8 from 12:00 to 19:00 minutes. Google *"Jews and Arabs Descended from Canaanites - Biblical Archaeology Society."* Google *"The Canaanites weren't annihilated, they just 'moved' to Lebanon - The Times of Israel."* Google *"The Gods and Goddesses of Canaan - Essay - The Metropolitan Museum of Art - Heilbrunn Timeline of Art History."* Google *"Canaanite Religion - **Realhistoryww.com.**"* (Read about El the father of Baal, Yahweh, Chemosh and other Canaanite gods to see the how the Bible is fiction) Google *"The Boundaries of the Nations - Yahweh Elohim."* Google *"Excerpt from “Yahweh and the Gods and Goddesses of Canaan” by John Day - Lehi's Library."* Google *"Married Deities: Asherah and Yahweh in Early Israelite Religion - Yahweh Elohim."* Google *"God's Wife Edited Out of the Bible - Almost."* (Pay attention to whose wife Asherah is in the Canaanite texts) Google *"Yahweh’s Divorce from the Goddess Asherah in the Garden of Eden - Mythology Matters."* Google *"Seminary - Hebrew Goddess; Asherah, the Shekinah, consort of Yahweh."* Google *"The Gates of Ishtar - Anath in the Elephantine Papyri."* Google *"Canaanite Religion - New World Encyclopedia."* (Pay attention to the section "Relationship to Biblical Religion") Google *"The Phoenician God Resheph in the Bible - Is That in the Bible?"* Google *"Combat Myth: The Curious Story of Yahweh and the Gods Who Preceded Him - Bob Seidensticker."* Google *"How Did the Bible's Editors Conceal Evidence of Israelite Polytheism - The Evolution of God."* Google *"A Theologically Revised Text: Deuteronomy 32:8-9 - Ancient Hebrew Poetry."* Google *"The Most Heiser: Yahweh and Elyon in Psalm 82 and Deuteronomy 32 - Religion at the Margins"* based on the *majority scholarly consensus.*

[@jokich6379]

Also the type of therapies were interesting. Had to do a rewatch.

[@simplyjulie1612]

Tim - I suffer from TERRIBLE insomnia for decades. WHAT kind of doctor was this that you saw? I can't come to Georgia, but maybe I could find someone similar where I am. Would greatly appreciate any direction you could give me.

[@HarmonicAtheist]

Hi, I'm so sorry to hear about your struggle with insomnia. My doctor was a neurological chiropractor. georgiachiropracticneurologycenter.com/ Feel free to reach out to chat more if you'd like: facebook.com/harmonictim --Tim

[@simplyjulie1612]

@@HarmonicAtheist Thank you SO much!

[@AnonymousBosch556]

This was a weird episode. I stopped watching it after the boyfriend experienced the same entities attacking him too. This seems more like an affirmation of demons and the supernatural and I'm not 'holy roller' looking for affirmation. It seems odd that she went from leaving Christianity to seeking out an American Indian shaman for spiritual Experience. I guess the yearning for some kind of spiritual experience/understanding is at play. It also seems odd using auyahsca when you believe that the 'demon' encounters are just the minds expression of stress and trauma. Auyahsca or any other psychedelics seems like a bad thing to try if you are have night terrors.

[@rainbowkrampus]

The first thing anybody who researches quantum physics will tell you is that we don't understand quantum physics. Everett's Many Worlds hypothesis is just that, a hypothesis. Nothing has been proven and as far as we can tell, Many Worlds is entirely unprovable. The second anyone tells you that science has proven other universes exist should be the second that you recognize said person has no idea what they're talking about. Which is a shame. Because quantum physics is very interesting and very weird without having to make stuff up about it. Though I get it. Even just getting a baseline understanding of the principles involved takes a lot of work and it's much easier to just hear about something like supersymmetry and then fill in the blanks with whatever your imagination can concoct. Who says religious people get to have a monopoly on magical thinking? Also, ayahuasca is a powerful compound hallucinogen. Of course you're going to have weird experiences when you're tripping balls. That's the point. I once perceived the sky to be entirely made of clowns. Not exactly profound. It's nice that some people get therapeutic responses from the stuff. But it also kills people from time to time or at least makes them violently ill. Talking about it like it's not a powerful psychoactive drug with all kinds of potentially dangerous side effects such as blood vessel constriction (i.e. kiss your ass goodbye if you have a heart condition) is pretty irresponsible. God I hate hippies... Anyway, bellyaching aside about some particular pet peeves of mine, great video as usual.

[@DoctaOsiris]

Maybe it's just the accent but I swear it sounds like she's saying "Human Gibbon" 🙃

[@aestroai8012]

I used to get sleep paralysis all the time as a kid. The last time it happened was around 10 years ago. It's freaky the first couple of times it happened and I know superstitious folks attributed it to Lilith or something. Even though I'm all but done with religion I can't help but see it in a mythological way.

[@TomeRodrigo]

I've lost her when she started to speak about those demons and spiritual experiences. Humans are very prone to "schizophrenic" experiences when in a trance of believing it. Feeling like watching Joe Dispenza which I personally don't enjoy at all. Otherwise, I like your videos.

[@bellezavudd]

30:52 "righteous man" of God throws daughter to the mob.

[@dottedrhino]

My view is telepathy in the moral dimension. Some people are unfriendly to put it that way.

[@davidfrisken1617]

I am pretty sure Nikola turned over in his grave when he was misrepresented and supernatural claims were made. It is sad that she is still so lost.

[@jenniferconley6808]

That’s what happens when old beliefs start crumbling away … It’s a very lost feeling and many of us are in the same boat right now and we’re not sure what we can hold on to anymore.

[@plants_and_wellness1574]

Refuse to believe it or not, angels and demons exist. Yes, the Bible is complete BS, but there is a creator and angels and demons are real. I had demons cast out of me, they laughed and spoke through me. If not for that experience, I, too, would be an atheist.

[@1948DavidB]

Like to have neurologist to explore these altered states of consciousness.

[@plants_and_wellness1574]

I would love to get in touch with her because I experienced the same thing she did. We have parallel stories. I’ve seen things I can’t deny even though I know the Bible is complete BS. Great interview.

[@Scorned405]

You all ever heard of the Council of Nicaea??

[@B.S._Lewis]

Stevie sounds like a fun chick.

[@laurelebert4573]

I feel like the person you’re interviewing has just traded one form of religion for another. I’m not meaning to be critical but if you’re an atheistic KZbinr, shouldn’t there be some form of comment or analysis of that?

[@rosalindc9651]

I really like that Tim lets people just freely tell their stories whether he agrees with where they land or not. This channel is not a debate format and I don’t think that Tim is interested in pushing atheism on anyone either. Everyone is going to come to their own conclusions about life and I think if they are not ascribing to a fundamentalist worldview religion, then that’s fine. It’s their journey.

[@Scorned405]

You tried the DMT????

[@nelson8965]

These videos are good but too long. Consider making shorter ones

[@HarmonicAtheist]

Hi, Nelson! There are definitely other platforms that do shorter versions of people's stories. This platform definitely has some long-form interviews, on purpose. There are lots of aspects and nuances to people's stories and to deconversion that need to be discussed.

[@DoctaOsiris]

Here's to the YT Algorithm 🖕🤣🍻

[@totonow6955]

Quantum physics. Yeah. If the human species is able to continue, qp will need to be addressed. QP can not just be shrugged off. The part about getting a raise at work is a major part here folks. Major. You may need to learn what world economic systems really are. You may have to learn what even capitalism really is.

[@holliehilton]

Wish this would’ve come with a trigger warning!

[@HarmonicAtheist]

Thanks for pointing that out, I've added something now in the description. I'll revisit the interview and add more to it as needed.

[@holliehilton]

@@HarmonicAtheist Thank you! The problems I have with anxiety surround similar fears and strange dreams.

[@laurentackett9399]

I've been thinking about fundamentalism. I think some of the rigidity was being raised by boomers.