Stewart Lee - Mastermind

Comedian Stewart Lee answers questions on Derek Bailey on BBC's Mastermind (and wins).

[@Orgel1685]

Apparently before the show he asked John Humphrys to give the questions to him straight, like a pear cider that's made from 100% pears.

[@BedtimeStoriesChannel]

@@doctortrouserpants1387 I think you'll find it's "pears" Mr. Baker's

[@BedtimeStoriesChannel]

@@doctortrouserpants1387 whoosh

[@allgonewrongful]

@@BedtimeStoriesChannel Ha, i'm subscribed to you, and here you are chatting about Stewart Lee's Pear Cider story, brilliant! It should have no bearing, but I like your channel even more now.

[@BedtimeStoriesChannel]

@@allgonewrongful Haha, always good to bump into peeps elsewhere on KZbin :-)

[@92RedRevolver]

@@allgonewrongful Not sure I've subscribed, but I've liked/watched some of BS's videos too. So not the only one!

[@nickmazonowicz511]

A lot of commentators seem to have missed the point of this which is that by going on a serious quiz show and answering questions about an obscure experimental jazz musician, Stewart Lee has finally produced a routine that Joe Pasquale won’t steal

[@alecskinner8807]

I wouldn’t bet on it.

[@rainblaze.]

Well yeah. That indeed might be as maybe. But in the final analyses you have to at lest concede that, he really has let him self go ..... don't you think? Like what they dud on top gear

[@groovedealerfeaturing-ashl6476]

Quality!

[@Alpine_Joe]

Wasn't it Michael Redmond whose routine Pasquale stole ?

[@TheMagicCardTraderUK]

Humphreys: "And you've scored an impressive 17!" Other contestants: "Yeah well... you can win any quiz show with facts...."

[@nigelmansell8864]

😂😂

[@reckley]

Yeah 17, look impresssed.

[@MrRline1]

Remember that funny comment you made 6 years ago....😂

[@davidnelson5533]

41st best ever score. His mum won’t be impressed

[@stephenhowell5660]

That was hilarious. Stewart Lee is getting so dead pan, he's actually starting to look like a dead pan. I was almost convinced that it really was an episode of celebrity Mastermind until I realized that it was a subtle commentary about the complete futility of all knowledge.

[@chrisofnottingham]

If you think this is funny, check out the spoof You Tube videos he posted of Derek Bailey

[@chrisofnottingham]

Stephen Howell whoosh

[@skyedavies1042]

chrisofnottingham I love Stewart Lee fans :D

[@DanGolag]

+chrisofnottingham This is clearly a mixed-ability comment section.

[@FKProds]

+dweedwee I take it you're not the biggest fan of Stewart Lee :P

[@dennybm]

These days, if you say you like Derek Bailey, you will be arrested and thrown in jail.

[@Sootaroot]

+dennybm What a brilliant photographer, though.

[@McSuperfly101]

Really?

[@NakasDougen]

It is a reference to a Stewart Lee sketch

[@McSuperfly101]

Nakas Dougen REALLY??

[@NakasDougen]

McSuperfly101 Yeah, he has this sketch that says "If you say you are english in this country you will be arrested and thrown to jail" and Stewart Lee was making fun of that statement

[@tykykable]

You've seen him. You've seen him, haven't you? On the Masterminds... You've seen him. On the Masterminds, on the BBC. He goes on the Masterminds, doesn't he? He goes on the Masterminds and he sits down... He's on the Masterminds, sat down, and he answers questions, doesn't he? On the Masterminds... The Comedy Vehicles, as well. You'll have seen him. He's on the BBC, isn't he? On the Masterminds and in his Comedy Vehicles, on the BBC... He stands up, doesn't he, on the Comedy Vehicles? He stands up and, on that one, he doesn't do anything. He does nothing on that one, doesn't​ he? You've seen him, though. Doing nothing on the BBC. Stood up in his Comedy Vehicles... Sometimes he's sat down. Sometimes he's sat down with a guitar in his Comedy Vehicles, isn't he? Doing nothing, sat down with his guitar, in his Comedy Vehicles. And on Screenwipes. On the BBC, you'll see him. On Screenwipes, talking about Skins, on the Screenwipes on the BBC. You'll have seen him. Daily Politics... He's everywhere, isn't he now? He used to do things and say things about things that mattered, standing up and making points about Christianity, didn't he? He wasn't on the BBC then, was he? He was nowhere then. He used to do jokes, didn't he, while he was nowhere? Didn't he used to do jokes? Remember jokes? You all remember jokes. He used to do them, didn't he? Jokes and talking about things that mattered. Not now, though... Sitting down, doing nothing... Talking about Skins and jazz. Everywhere, on the BBC. You'll have seen him... Let himself go, hasn't he, as well?

[@Isleofskye]

Very Good :)

[@mididoctors]

((from front seats on the left)) yes yes we have

[@randyatlantis2388]

No I haven't seen him, who is he?

[@banjopink4409]

Jack Bradley: _"Not now, though... "_ Wasted comma.

[@Zkkr429]

I thought I saw him by the corn store actually?

[@kevindaly1445]

I never realised how knowledgeable Ratko Mladic is with avant-garde guitarists. Seems like a nice guy.

[@dronespace]

😂

[@paulbrown4235]

Ratko Mladic has really let himself go

[@jillroyson4589]

He's had an interesting life

[@nicaskey1]

I thought he would have been at The Hague

[@Evemeister12]

Ratko Mladic has let himself go.

[@54spatula]

I thought his chosen specialised subject would’ve been Jungle Canyon Rope Bridges!

[@c.j.griffin]

Surely it would be Scooby-Doo and the Pirate Zombie Island!

[@tedwebb7243]

@@c.j.griffin Humphrys, Humphrys, Humphrys, Humphrys. The Jungle Canyon Rope Bridge questioner. (It doesn't rhyme, but you get the idea)

[@LuDux]

Should have been Deacon Blue

[@alexstorr3357]

If the episode had been filmed in the 80s, under Thatcher.

[@APoxOnNordStream]

In the 80s, under Thatcher

[@njujuznem6554]

It says a lot about his comedy that I can't actually tell if this is real or not

[@neilbinns2232]

I think it actually did happen. The evidence is this video. Granted, they could be actors.

[@Afghamistam]

It says a lot about his comedy that I just watched a special where he said he did this and I said "Bollocks you did", but no, he actually did.

[@davidsmith5523]

I did thr same score as him 17 vs 1. Just the other way around.

[@lukalaughlaster5464]

Good morning

[@georgemckenna7570]

Stewart didn't know which jazz standard the 2002 album "Ballads" contained two versions of. It didn't matter though. To him it was just a child's urine off an old man's face.

[@NxDoyle]

Haha! That's showbiz!

[@dannythedoodle]

Excellent work 👍

[@mannyd-y5246]

HAPPY NY!

[@sunkhunt9748]

Stewart didn't know of which jazz standard the 2002 album "Ballads" contained two versions.* Try not to end a sentence with a proposition.

[@Lazyguy22]

@@sunkhunt9748 English isn't Latin.

[@DukeOfKidderminster]

I was expecting him to ask the same question 18 times, getting increasingly funnier, then boring and then funny again.

[@trje246]

🤣 omg that would be hilarious!

[@barryhunt3541]

You get thrown in jail for saying you're English nowadays mate

[@alecskinner8807]

That I would pay money to see 😂

[@GAFCASTsupport]

or he'd answer "are you a sardine" to every question

[@paulthompson8996]

@@barryhunt3541 What, actually locked up?!

[@MrSabbath2011]

"So John, did i win? Just give it to me straight..."

[@Scias]

During the Jazz questions he must have been thinking "Jazz music which is made from 100 precent Jazz"

[@oliverthomas9052]

I think he'd have gone with 'percent' instead or a simple %.

[@specialpatrolgroup92]

We said that for years, my family did...

[@theomanification]

Oh, he's finished saying that

[@spacejazz6272]

wonder what he'll say next

[@Chris_34]

@@spacejazz6272 It's £90,000 for an apartment in the park.

[@TheVibeDetective]

His second choice specialist subject was crisps

[@dogtags303]

I was hoping his specialist subject was going to be Richard "the hampster" Hammond

[@PaphosLife]

All the crisps.

[@nickmazonowicz511]

At the end John Hunphries ‘I’ve started so I’ll finish.’ Stewart Lee (to himself) ‘He’s finished asking that. I wonder if he’ll ask anything else’.

[@TheBlenderBaby92]

the damp white/grey cloth that dinner ladies used to use to to wipe down the tables after lunch at school has let himself go

[@ThinLynottFan]

:D

[@charlesmurray3255]

+SuperDeluxeAnuzBleach Very good

[@Tobypaws2002]

I think he did very well on the specialist subject.

[@Jordannadroj20]

One of the best

[@gavinjones861]

I hope this makes Lee the 41st best Mastermind contestant.

[@robertjwest]

My favourite comedian talking (surprisingly) about my favourite avant-garde jazz guitarist (seriously). That is not something I expected to see but it brightened an otherwise already quite bright day ...

[@petegage]

Me too pn both counts

[@petegage]

Me too, on both counts

[@DCI-Frank-Burnside]

An offensive 1950's cartoon of a Chinaman has let itself go.

[@furbster1]

thats rather funny

[@Elprofebritanico]

but the rest of the world is clearly not.

[@redlady935]

That's the funniest comment I've ever seen. I was like WTF and then googled it. Pissing myself

[@zarquon51]

Tucker Jenkins has got a bit fat hasn't he.

[@stevebb2915]

you've won. that was gold my friend.

[@peterbaldry9972]

I checked out Derek Bailey after watching this. He’s playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order - I’ll give him that 👍

[@fivish]

Thats a Morecambe line to Andre Preview.

[@Ken_oh545]

Previn.

[@YorkyOne]

​@@Ken_oh545 I think you will find that it was Mr Preview.

[@Ken_oh545]

@@YorkyOne of course it was!

[@MCTonra]

Respect!

[@CAMZAB]

They allow you to pick your own subject. Stewart seems to be one of the few who have understood what this means.

[@banjopink4409]

Not only that, but there are only 19 known facts about Bailey, and they all came up on this exam, so...

[@peterowen9183]

He's fantastic in this, but probably worth noting that celebrities only appear once, so they can pick the thing they know the most about. Regular (non-celebrity) contestants have to provide two or three specialist subjects in case they progress to further rounds. Hence there's a tendency to save the one you *really* know about for your semi-final or whatever, and read up on another one for your first round!

[@adzy166]

You’ve seen them...in that chair, the masterminders.

[@phantomdoodler]

what an absolute hero for choosing the MND association. My respect for stu has gone up tenfold

[@julienguieu5636]

Sure, he's good at knowing stuff, but he couldn't cut the mustard on a panel show.

[@mididoctors]

you get top score sir

[@supergangsterish1234]

you don't cut mustard, you spread it

[@cpharris41]

supergangsterish1: But you have to cut the mustard plant before you can spread the condiment.

[@seamusolunacy]

@@supergangsterish1234 you cut powdered mustard much the same as yellow cocaine

[@JohnH108]

Never snort the yellow cocaine

[@stanleyplank]

Is this a war criminals episode?

[@christianbriancon108]

Stuart. On your mark Get set Let yourself go...

[@therealawakener7]

Lee improvised his answers.

[@emdiar6588]

Yup. Look out... Miles Davis has come.

[@MontyCantsin5]

Who's the jazz comedian now?

[@421mog]

I just don't get his latest stuff...

[@louis.c326]

421mog couze you're thick

[@louis.c326]

I'm joking obviously

[@louis.c326]

Even if it's probably true

[@mididoctors]

yeah i wasn't born in the 1980s when thatcher initiated cutbacks in jungle canyon ropebridges

[@fauntleeeeroy]

Go away then

[@hazzawhitey21]

Derek Bailey (29 January 1930 - 25 December 2005) was an English avant-garde guitarist and leading figure in the free improvisation movement.

[@fivish]

Bailey died in London on Christmas Day in 2005. He had been suffering from motor neurone disease.

[@Pmrace1960]

@@fivish now i understand his charity choice...great choice

[@Archiewhynot]

Never seen Lee looking so nervous! Nice to know he's human. Albeit a high calibre human.

[@nickmazonowicz511]

Stew was fast answering those questions, wasn’t he? Like lightning? As soon as John asked a question, he saw the window of opportunity and bodily hurled himself through

[@NickHunter]

Like zephyrus the wind

[@WilliamSmith-mx6ze]

@@NickHunter He's like lightning, coming out of a dish.

[@markreynolds1436]

He's no Tom O'Connor though...

[@nickmazonowicz511]

@@markreynolds1436 That’s true. When Tom O’Connor was on, they only asked him one question ‘Are you a sardine?’

[@123paul]

I've let myself go.

[@ru55ells]

That's why we are leaving 😁

[@Silverback1969MoonLandingLies]

Very good, I think that is the funniest Stewart Lee routine I have ever seen!

[@rossparkhead4871]

A bit tediously drawn out though

[@moodini99]

Oh look. Mastermind's let itself go

[@DavosJamos]

Awww I wanna see him answer the general knowledge questions too! How come nobody has uploaded that? Waaaaaaaaaah

[@DanGolag]

Who's the Jazz comedian now?

[@popitinpete]

I watched this by mistake on a friend's recommendation.

[@steviemac2681]

I prefer his early work.

[@thedolphin5428]

I think the real problem there was that it was a mixed room. The front rows of the audience were getting it but not so the friends they had brought along. And Stu didn't have time to bring them along.

[@nickmazonowicz511]

It was better when they did the general knowledge round. Because during the intermission, all the friends said ‘do you like this?’ and the fans said ‘yeah, we like it a lot’ and the friends said ‘oh, well we like it too then.’

[@fretboardstumbler]

Morrisey knows his stuff.

[@leftmono1016]

Although he has let himself go.

[@nickmazonowicz511]

John Humphries thought ‘these answers aren’t funny but I agree the fuck out of them’

[@sprobablycancr4457]

I heard that this sketch was written by ledgendary author and mystic Alan Moore, while in the throes of a jimsonweed frenzy.

[@arsenalfanrichi]

"Oh look he's finished that sentence" "No I haven't, however I've started so I'll finish"

[@regplasma7906]

I am shocked I thought Stewart would have chosen Pear Cider .The first question from Humph being "What percentage of Pears are used to make Pear Cider ?"

[@demonicsquid7217]

You don't use soap to make pear cider.

[@spacejazz6272]

I've seen lots of interviews that Stewart Lee has done, read a fair amount of his newspaper columns and seen hundreds of his shows. and not once do I recall him even mentioning Derek Bailey and yet here he demonstrates and almost encyclopedic knowledge of him. it's almost unnerving in a way

[@Skelanth721]

Apparently him and Jim O'Rourke used to see each other all the time at Derek Bailey, etc. gigs when they were teenagers, and got to know each other as a result. Crazy small world!

[@johnsmodularjams2123]

one of his stand up dvds uses a Derek Bailey piece for the menu screen

[@iamjurell]

@@johnsmodularjams2123 I think he mentions that in his annotated transcription of the show in his book, How I Escaped My Certain Fate

[@charcolew]

Stewart playing the questions as they are dealt

[@hazzawhitey21]

Derek Bailey (29 January 1930 - 25 December 2005) was an English avant-garde guitarist and leading figure in the free improvisation movement. I can definitely see why Stewart Lee would be interested in him; he even shared Stewart Lee's love of short, pithy comebacks when interviewed.

[@JMC77]

Unfortunately for Stew the specialist subject of The Complete Lifes Work of Asher D had already been taken by the eventual series winner and Mastermind Grand Champion.. Tom O'Connor. The irony of losing to Tom by one point on the question "Which is the second largest island off the coast of Italy?" was a bit much.

[@WilliamSmith-mx6ze]

That wasn't the question that won it for Tom O'Connor. The question was in fact "Name the traditional street festival snack of choice every year in Lisbon on January 19, the feast day of St Cuthbert, which is also a traditional summer delicacy throughout all of rural Portugal." Though I can see why you might have been confused.

[@onlythebiggesthitsoneleano8461]

William Shatner’s knowledge of Derek Bailey is peerless.

[@AKBogie55]

A 1920s newspaper cartoon of Tarzan's face has let himself go.

[@Birminghamesports]

I think shortly after this the need to love Derek Bailey was added to the values of the Carphone Warehouse...

[@lozinja]

A just off-duty Croydon council CCTV monitoring hub security officer who still pines for the halcyon days of the teddy boys has just released himself without charge.

[@glennhiscock478]

To be fair, Terry Christian knows his stuff and you can see why he was on The Word.

[@OliverLevy]

He is, but you have to have seen a lot of other 'Mastermind' contestants to get what he's doing.

[@regularjon9693]

I'll never let go Jack, I promise.

[@RodRyan-tc6cs]

Traditional Flamenco has always played an important role in the musical repertoire of the Avant Garde industrial elite.

[@keithsowerby8179]

I have only just seen this as an admirer of both Lee and Bailey. I have many albums featuring Bailey, have seen many of his collaborators live, but not him. Wait a minute; Derek Bailey played live in the ABC Theatre pit for The Morecambe and Wise Show? I was there; I have heard him live.

[@tspcrowther]

My favourite bit of this was when he said "Incus", hahaha classic!

[@gerrabath]

The ability to remember stuff. Marvelous.

[@peejay6930]

" The ability to remember stuff. Marvelous" Yep, that's how knowledge works

[@gerrabath]

@@peejay6930 Indeed.

[@billywright2422]

A cliched saucy-postcard cartoon rendering of a classic British butcher of the kind that might chase a sausage-stealing dog down the road whilst shaking his fist in anger has let himself go.

[@alexstorr3357]

Although these get a little tedious now, yours is impressive in length and specificity!

[@highdownmartin]

@@alexstorr3357 it’s moved from being funny to being contrived to being tedious and has now arrived back back at being funnier than it was originally. But I suppose I would say that

[@BowlingCrony]

I didn't get a single joke. And he was sat down.

[@nickmazonowicz511]

Well you see, what’s happened is, the people in the other comments, you know, the A crowd, they’ve got the jokes in the other Stewart Lee videos, so they’re now experimenting by taking on the characters of an audience in an episode of Celebrity Mastermind. So they’re like ‘Ha Ha Ha imagine Stew giving a serious answer to the question of which comedians did Derek Bailey play in the pit orchestra for’. They’re confident enough that they’ve got Stew’s other jokes that they can do this in character. They’re running rings round you mate

[@lexo30]

@nbachmann He was the greatest innovator on the electric guitar since Hendrix (he died in 2005). I saw him play live once in 2000. He was an elderly English guy with just a guitar and an amp and he blew the roof off the club.

[@charlesmurray3255]

The focused out other competitors have let themselves go.

[@banjopink4409]

Jeez! That was the whole point of the sketch. Unbelievable.

[@stoolpigeon4285]

I thought he'd choose the literary works of Asher D

[@dogtags303]

was hoping his specialist subject was going to be Richard "the hamster" Hammond

[@liamdhardy]

Yeah would've been good to see his general knowledge questions.

[@chrisgosling5408]

The only other person who knows about Derek Bailey, Stewart continues to be a man of many surprises which sounds like a school report?

[@jamesbutler6253]

For those thinking this was a routine, it wasn't. It was in 2010 and he won.

[@thedolphin5428]

Ok. How many here knew about Derek Bailey before this? How many went to look him up afterwards? How many think Stu's chosen topic is a troll upon Mastermind and viewers? How many admire the chutzpah of both Bailey and Lee for pushing the boundaries of their craft/art to absurdist perimeters?

[@Mcpowerpack]

apparently I heard he does around 85-90 of these charity events a year.

[@grazzellian]

Fantastic guy

[@bigted3406]

The length of the questions 😂 He could have answered twice the amount.

[@leemitchell1874]

41st best Mastermind contestant.

[@DontKloppMeNow]

So basically Stewart Lee was Derek Bailey in his previous life. Incredible knowledge 😯

[@corrinecummings3538]

Not the bloke who used to host 'Mr and Mrs', then?

[@MrThrib]

I'm clever because I like this.

[@JapanJohnny2012]

i went to see derek live with jon the postman in manchester in '91.

[@andrewsharpley4984]

same

[@BaronNikos]

Wow, the first ever sun dried tomato has really let itself go

[@TabsT-vy5jy]

Im surprised he didnt take 10 minutes dissecting the first answer.

[@unconvincingrebel]

Derek Bailey's let himself go

[@markmoon8014]

Thought he would have had it all written on the back of his hand like usual.

[@willhawthorne]

these comments about the comments about stewart lee having let himself go having let themselves go have let themselves go

[@boysoprano5446]

Gave it to him straight just like pear's cider.

[@yeastboyuk]

Stunning

[@onlythebiggesthitsoneleano8461]

You’ve seen this on the Top Of The Pops

[@patpopov]

I didn't find that funny in the slightest.

[@inspector_melvin9384]

Maybe you need to raise your game.

[@mididoctors]

the people in that audience had bought into the idea he was on mastermind and where seeing if they could get the jokes while still in character as a quiz show audience...your nowhere near that are you.

[@nickmazonowicz511]

It wasn’t funny but I agree the fuck out of it

[@jamespilcher5287]

Watch it on a loop ten times

[@nutloaf]

Ray Reardon is looking really good!!

[@GreenMorningDragonProductions]

I saw Derek Bailey perform in either late 1991 or early 1992 above a pub in Tib Street, Manchester. It was Jon the Postman's suggestion - his idea of a good night out. I've had worse evenings, I must admit. Chill vibe, nice crowd.

[@ddoubledutch4783]

I bloody knew he wouldn’t choose pirates. Knew it.

[@ryanmcavoy]

John Humphrys has let himself go.

[@tricky-im6en]

So has terry christian.

[@VacantHaven]

Side profile Ed Balls has let himself go

[@jobe129]

My hero.

[@1292liam]

Derek Bailey - he's like Ian Huntley to me

[@danieldonaldson8634]

you up there wouldn’t really understand what he’s done. “Oh look there he is, making noises with his mouth.” Down here, they understand that I was answering questions concerning Derek Bailey deceased Yorkshire born jazz and improvisational guitar innovator, it’s clear to them. Up there, they’re saying, “now he’s finished making those noises….I wonder if he’ll make some more noises next.”

[@WinstonSmith-mu7ku]

Up there, they're saying "What's jazz, what's a guitar?".

[@thomas.alexander.]

He did really well. I was surprised. I knew a few of the answers, and he knocked it out of the park!

[@Boxyno1]

They have them on the Top of the Pops don't they? You've seen them

[@Czeckie]

This is probably too avant-garde for me. I get the meta level deconstruction of game show format. These seemingly boring questions are to fun what Bailey's work is to music. Even though I understand it intellectually and agree this brings up an interesting point, I don't connect with the topic on emotional level to find it funny.

[@usualsuspect1983]

I'm torn! I dare to ask if you mean it or not :)

[@Czeckie]

gentleman never tells

[@nickmazonowicz511]

Well the first boring question was okay. The second one I was like ‘ahh haa that’s funny’ the third boring question I could take or leave and when John Humphries asked the fourth question I was mildly irritated by it. By the fifth boring question I was starting to find it hilarious again and by the last question I was practically gasping for breath I was laughing so much

[@stephensmith799]

@@nickmazonowicz511 This time the gallery liked it as much as the front row. Unusual.

[@tostare]

thanks for posting this up!

[@trippinonbud]

hes a clever boy wish i watched this when it was on

[@lexo30]

@chrisofnottingham Derek Bailey was a guitar player from Sheffield who completely reinvented the way that the guitar is played. I saw him play live in Dublin, a few years before he died. A 70-year-old Yorkshireman sat with a Gibson ES-175 and blew the fucking roof off the joint. He was amazing.

[@nickmazonowicz511]

Stew can answer the question ‘the album ‘ballads’ contains two versions of which Jazz standard?’. He just chooses not to