Stop Abandoning Yourself: How to Build Self-trust

[@MichelleFarrismft]

Grab my 12 Journal Prompts for Self-care and Boundaries & Codependency www.counselingrecovery.com/codependent-tips

[@kentonrogers2725]

would love to have you as a guest if you would be open to it?

[@MichelleFarrismft]

@@kentonrogers2725 let’s chat - go to my website www.counselingrecovery.com and send me an email about your show.

[@susanelizabethespinosarscp6865]

Wow, adapting our behavior so we stay safe is a very powerful aha!

[@MichelleFarrismft]

Thanks Susan! I really appreciate your feedback!

[@jimfarris5465]

This might be a common perception, but I thought that you were talking about my childhood. It really brought back memories.

[@MichelleFarrismft]

Yeah, this really does go back to childhood! Thanks for your input!

[@grace.flores1731]

A year ago when I attempted suicided it highlighted to me how much I hate and distrust myself. I’ve been slowly rebuilding myself since then. Thank you so much for this video 🙂

[@MichelleFarrismft]

I'm so glad it helped. Self-hate IS much more common than people want to admit. You are NOT alone. Learning how to love yourself exactly as you are is so key. It helps to think ab out what people compliment you on because you can use that to acknowledge the good in you! Thanks so much Nova for reaching out.

[@maris5930]

I hope things have improved in the last year. Sending best wishes.

[@godzillamanstreb524]

It’s taken me 7 yrs of healing….long term npd familial/female friendships abuse to realize & have the courage to stop & listen to what I want….was hoovered by text today & the old me wld quip back like autopay…..no more! Feels fantastic & yes my self esteem goes up a notch each time I trust myself 💪🏻

[@MichelleFarrismft]

I love this!!! I'm celebrating with you!!!!

[@godzillamanstreb524]

@@MichelleFarrismft thank you!! I’m a proud early mbr of your channel 🥰💪🏻💪🏻

[@MichelleFarrismft]

@@godzillamanstreb524 right back at you!🥰

[@aimbotboy6575]

Growing up I was lied to about EVERYTHING! I begin having trust issues as a child and it progressed into my adulthood. When being in relationships I’ve had a gut feeling that the guy was cheating. I would ask and he would lie but my gut wouldn’t let up! My body always have let me know when something wasn’t right in my life but I just didn’t know how to trust and believe in myself. I had a problem with calling others telling them all my business just for them to confirm what I felt/knew and just for me not to listen and end up hurt in the end. I’m 31 yrs old just learning how to trust myself. My new way of living and thinking is “When your gut tells you something, listen to it!”

[@MichelleFarrismft]

YES! Your body knows your truth - we just have to practice honoring it.

[@sll110]

Thank you so much, deeply appreciated.. 😘😘😘😘

[@MichelleFarrismft]

You are welcome!

[@healwithyan6178]

Thanks Michelle for your kindness and honesty. I enjoy watching your videos and listening to the way you digest thoughts, behaviors and motivations behind them.

[@MichelleFarrismft]

Thank you so much! That means a lot.

[@lovesings2us]

I really appreciate this video. Thank you, Michelle! Your focus on the importance of listening to and honoring our gut feelings is especially helpful to me.

[@MichelleFarrismft]

I'm so glad! Thank you!

[@danielposavec7215]

Dear Michelle, this is such a powerful message - trusting yourself. I spent my whole life trying to find external rules of how to live my life. So sad. It's also sad that your channel doesn't have more subs and views. I've watched a few of your vids and the topics are so clearly and succintly presented. Thank you.

[@MichelleFarrismft]

Thank you! I’m growing slowly but steadily!

[@haihai5293]

Listen her guys.

[@MichelleFarrismft]

Thank you!

[@monaperry2635]

The awareness of self hatred and blaming ourselves for our mistakes is the starting point of healing. Its taken me 52 years to realize a lot of my internal pain comes from self hatred and self condemnation. Thankyou Michele for affirming that self love/trust is a good thing and its not selfishness.

[@MichelleFarrismft]

Absolutely! Loving yourself means respecting yourself and making sure YOUR needs are met too.

[@monaperry2635]

@@MichelleFarrismft your videos have helped me become self aware and work on my own recovery. Thankyou for doing this work! Do you do any private counseling or therapy too?

[@MichelleFarrismft]

@@monaperry2635 I do but only for people who live in California ( my license only extends to my state ). Another option is my Healing Codependency course that has a live group Zoom call. Any interest in that?

[@monaperry2635]

@@MichelleFarrismft Yes I am interested

[@MichelleFarrismft]

@@monaperry2635 okay go to my website ( or KZbin profile ) and email me.

[@lysh9401]

Thank you so much. You don’t understand how much I needed this.

[@MichelleFarrismft]

You are so welcome Alysha!!

[@srn_2268]

Thanks for the video! Love your channel. ♥️

[@MichelleFarrismft]

Thank you so much for taking the time!!

[@Mindsetolympics]

I really do not want be this way. I hope I can stop settling for less in career and relationships....I'M ALWAYS SETTLING FOR LESS IN the way people treatment and when I don't I feel like I'm being arrogant, or self absorbed... THIS SUCKS!

[@MichelleFarrismft]

That feeling sick and tired can be the motivation to change. Be gentle on yourself - developing self-trust takes time and practice. You can do it!

[@Mel-zz4ub]

❤❤❤ Love this!! Spot on and exactly what I needed to hear to trust myself!!

[@MichelleFarrismft]

Yay!!! So glad it helped!

[@RoadRunnergarage8570]

When I attempted to do a "giveaway" on my KZbin channel,it fed my people pleasing issues ..

[@MichelleFarrismft]

That would be challenging!

[@diyaathappa]

Randomly clicked here, this is so insightful thank uuu!!

[@MichelleFarrismft]

Yay! So glad you did - thanks for watching!

[@MD-mh6iu]

Thank you, Michelle, for an insightful and validating video. I have struggled with trusting my intuition and expressing myself, and it wasn’t until recently (in conversations with my siblings) that I realized it was due to our parents. I had the same issue in my marriage as I married a combination of my parents. However I woke up and I’ve been doing the work to help with reconnecting with myself and learning to trust my intuition. I just stumbled across your channel and subscribed. Videos like this really help. Thank you!

[@MichelleFarrismft]

Your welcome! Self-trust is often overlooked and it's SO important which is why I focus on it! I had to learn the hard way. You might want to check out my self-trust journal - I think I left a link in the description. It's a series of writing prompts to help you identify your intuition and what you like about yourself ( and heal what gets in the way ).

[@sweepstakesluvr]

Helpful content as always. Thank you for being you!

[@MichelleFarrismft]

You are so kind! Thank you for being here and watching!

[@veganover50]

Thank you Michele, this is everything I am working on! ❤️

[@MichelleFarrismft]

That's SO great! It took me way to long to realize this for myself and it made a such a big difference! Thank you so much for watching!

[@created4passion442]

This is so good would have saved me 25 years of being in a toxic group of people who was teaching that Jesus was religion which he is not

[@MichelleFarrismft]

Thank you for watching! Glad it helped!

[@little_.mir3a980]

Thank you for this video!

[@MichelleFarrismft]

Thank YOU for being here and watching!

[@berenicesansone482]

Very helpful and enlightening. Thank you!

[@MichelleFarrismft]

I’m glad it helped!

[@parineetajin3945]

Rest everyone has their opinions and experiences.

[@MichelleFarrismft]

Thank you for watching.

[@khaartoumsings]

Michele I like your allusions to how we 'attract' to 'strong' energy and want to somehow 'fix' it. Thanks. I am 'addicted' to Love Bombing. I am 'surveiling' myself on why. These empty characters who are so mediocre and toxic. But the looks, or actually, some of them are classically 'ugly' like a burglar's dog! But are still 'devastatingly attractive'. I have got so far to understand that it is a 'reverse energy performance'. A rehearsed projection of energy [that they cannot keep up for long...like holding up a dumbbell for a photo!]. I read that Love Bombing and 'appearance' [as I say, some of them are 'ugly' but have such Impression Management that we are swept away with their ugly mugs!] are a way of 'Emotional/Psychological Cat Burgling' to get past the intellectual boundaries to get to emotional response because they know they have a limited time to 'get their foot in the door' before the failing character inside comes to light. But it is the chaos, rescuing and of course, a calculated 'persuasion' based on an assessment of our weaknesses and past grooming for such characters. I am really struggling to not run after the Love Bombing! Wowee. Michelle, I've read a different perspective on our observation in Professor Kevin Dutton's books. He has books on positive [surgeons/Buddhist monks] and negative [con artists and politicians] psychopaths and how they have Mindfulness in common. They don't think backwards or forwards, only now and focussed. His 'Flipnosis' on how the narcissist uses persuasion is a journey of bliss. The books are presented in a schoolboyish sort of wonder. Adding to your wisdom, Dutton's observations on how 'people believe what they see' brought my observations so much further forward. Thanks for your clever words framing our old experiences! ; ) K

[@MichelleFarrismft]

You're welcome Khaartoum! Thanks for watching!

[@Pielobyte]

1) Identify what is preventing you from trusting yourself 2) people pleasing 3) identify red flags 4) cultivate intuition How does this person make me feel? Honor it, even with evidence to the contrary

[@MichelleFarrismft]

Thank you for watching - these are important steps!

[@mrsimo7144]

Thanks very much for this. ❤️

[@MichelleFarrismft]

You’re very welcome! Thanks for watching!

[@capricedelorm]

thank you for another helpful video. this one was chock full of good things to consider and practice, and i appreciated the explanations alongside the recommendations. and of course, loved the dog cameo in the background! :-)

[@MichelleFarrismft]

Thanks so much Caprice! Yeah my dog Cookie is usually right there while I’m filming.

[@capricedelorm]

@@MichelleFarrismft it's wonderful to see. cookie is sweet looking. thank you again for the continued tips. very helpful and appreciated!

[@MichelleFarrismft]

@@capricedelorm yeah I love having her with me. Especially since Covid, she doesn’t like it when I leave home!

[@capricedelorm]

@@MichelleFarrismft how sweet!

[@valbaker5799]

@@MichelleFarrismft Your dog is adorable!!!

[@mattanderson6672]

Thank you !

[@MichelleFarrismft]

Thank YOU for watching!

[@vonnieb.4897]

Thank you

[@MichelleFarrismft]

You're very welcome!

[@lifeisbeautiful7047]

Thank you so much

[@MichelleFarrismft]

You're very welcome!

[@parineetajin3945]

This video was very good

[@MichelleFarrismft]

Thank you!

[@angelagrant9]

That would be gr8 if I didn’t have bpd 😵‍💫

[@MichelleFarrismft]

Hey Angela, yeah therapy especially DBT is supposed to be very effective. Paying attention to our feelings is powerful but can be difficult wit BPD. Thanks for watching.

[@XThirdEyeX]

the highly toxic creature that's supposed to be my so called "mother" completely crushed and shattered all my trust and belief in myself to tiny bits and pieces...repeatedly...throughout my entire wasted and worthless life. 💔💔💔💔 As a result of all this, including equally complex religious traumas, and despite my efforts, ive been excruciatingly painfully single, pretty much friendless and painfully alone my entire worthless and wasted life. 💔💔💔💔 Ive never even been out on a damn date yet or anything at all, absolutely 0 experiences whatsoever at damn 40. And ive become homeless at damn 40. Living in this toxic prison of a car, even MORE excruciatingly painfully alone and isolated than I already have been my entire wasted and worthless life. 😭💔😭💔 And i seem to legitimately be the only loser pathetic enough to be like this at or near my age on the entire planet earth itself. 😕💔😣💔😞💔😭💔..

[@MichelleFarrismft]

I am so sorry for your suffering. I hope you have professional help and support to heal.

[@parineetajin3945]

It could be anyone other than family. Its not appropriate to blame family for every or most bad things.

[@parineetajin3945]

This video was very good

[@MichelleFarrismft]

True, being accountable for our behavior is the goal in this work.

[@MichelleFarrismft]

Thank you :)

[@matthewjahnke6956]

OK. But, what if it's within your own family? What then?

[@MichelleFarrismft]

Trusting yourself means honoring your truth - sometimes that means taking action or setting boundaries but other times it may mean walking away.

[@parineetajin3945]

I am speaking in general. Not in particular to this video or anyone please