Stop Letting Other Kids Raise Your Kids

Who has the most influence over your children? Whose voice does your child value the most? As parents, we’d love to think it was us, but more often than not, it’s actually other children. Peer-centered settings in school, church, sports, and extracurriculars have created an environment where our kids are solely around children their age for the vast majority of their days. What’s the problem with this? Kids are unable to raise kids. Duetronomy 6 and numerous scriptures demonstrate that it’s the duty of parents and elders to properly raise their children- not the tv, not cellphones, and definitely not other kids. Join us as we share our strategies to combat this and what we’ve implemented along the way!

[@SavannahLewie]

Yessss please unpack the entertainment industry and agendas. Definitely interested in that topic for sure. 🙌

[@desimarie3630]

Yes please do! ❤️

[@alexisjudd2385]

Milena, can you please do a video on dealing with perfectionism? I struggle to be the "perfect" Christian, mom, wife, etc. so would love your take on how to combat that!

[@itsallaboutyoujesusworship1823]

Hi love! You will never be perfect…. Only your Heavenly Father. Think of it, if we were really perfect, then Jesus would never have to die for our sins. Embrace your imperfection, and especially as a woman I’ve struggled with this so much. Even if you have nothing left to give, ask God to fill your cup or give your best. We are all His children, loved equally! ❤ Lastly, I’ve made the mistake of trying to be Jesus and fix everyone. I cannot do that, so I’ve realized that I need to be myself and plant seeds in my family’s life and pray. Eventually, we will see the increase. Read 1 Cor 3:6 Jesus loves you

[@_pugito1659]

Yes I struggle with this! The Lord has shown me it's a pride issue.

[@itsallaboutyoujesusworship1823]

@@_pugito1659 I understand! I worry about my appearance in the morning while I get ready, but I just look to God’s word. I just pray “Lord, please help me to focus on you instead of what I look like. Help me to see me the way you do, and give you glory.” Obsessing over little things like that does not bring him glory because it has nothing to do with godly character. I need to practice what I preach as well. Look to God’s word sister 🥹

[@emilymartinez1754]

I struggle with this too so you are not alone! I pray for God to help me reframe my thoughts as I find I have to consciously tell myself no, it’s okay if this goes wrong. God wants me authentically and I do not have to perform for his love! He already knows our heart and our thoughts. Come to him unfiltered and he will answer! Hopefully it gets easier for you as I feel he’s helping me learn to give myself grace.

[@cassidyrollins263]

This may be a problem with the way you view God. Do you believe in the trinity? Understanding (you will never fully) the best you can on that relationship between the father son and spirit is a good place to start. We need to look at where we stand next to God. Man has a hard time knowing where they stand vs where God stands. He is on the stage not us. Forget about your perfect works, and remember about his perfect grace. I hope this helps

[@khristinamagdaleno7343]

Wow! I just experienced something similar this past weekend at church. My 2 year old son was in the church kids class and he was playing with a stuffed animal and at home we always teach him to hug and kiss his “babies” but this other boy (4 yr old I think) grabbed it and did the motion like he was stabbing or punching the stuffed animal. Quickly my son copied that same behavior. I was in utter shock. So, I intervened and told them both to be kind and gentle with all the toys. So, all this to say, what Milena said is so true. No matter where we are mothers and fathers do not let your guard down. Protect your little ones 🩵🩷

[@saintamerican6105]

My in laws and husband think it dramatic to think about such things but my entire childhood was influenced by bad kids around me so i pray God blesses us Christ loving mothers to protect our children no matter where we are, even around family, Satan does not hold back!

[@lizpaulino8884]

Milena mom guilt is so real for moms who have to work and can’t homeschool like you do… THANK YOU for specifying time spent as time spent on purpose…. That was so gracious to Those in different situations and I really appreciate it!

[@saintamerican6105]

God bless you and your family! May he protect your childen even when they’re not within your eyesight

[@_pugito1659]

This is true! My parents did a good job raising me but lacked in influencing me. I was lead a lot public school culture. I got lost and very thankful to God he brought me back. For my kids I plan to raise and influence them.

[@asformeandmyhousepodcast]

Praise God for bringing you back to Himself!

[@christiemchenry4586]

Peer centered activities are not meant to replace parents. That’s actually the opposite it’s suppose to give some autonomy for kids to learn the world , giving parents the opportunity to teach and lead their children properly. It’s an opportunity for teaching. Perspective on these things is KEY. Seems like only thing that you’re pointing out is the negative connotations, good parenting is the key to success. Generalizing that most are doing this or that , seems incredibly bold.. Limiting your children to no worldly activities- offers you costly choices, when they realize the real world they will go into for a career, it will be shocking and they may resent you. I know this, my parents did this to me. All of my siblings left at 18 bc of the suffocating measures we were expected to live under. Letting them have autonomy to see the world and guide them is what is best. Being able to be the one they call when they are in trouble is a true blessing.

[@Rooby673]

I was actually looking for something a comment like this… I find myself wrestling with wanting to keep my child away from the world but then when I think back my parents did just that for my siblings and I and I remember the amount of suffocation I felt. I mean I didn’t even care to go do all the crazy things my friends were doing I genuinely just wanted to see what the world was. So the first chance I got I joined the military and asked to be stay on the other side of the world.

[@user-ll6rn5ez1z]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@saintamerican6105]

But it never works out that way unless we do things GOD’s way, your opinion isn’t biblically factual.

[@saintamerican6105]

Its not what they sheltered you from, its HOW they did it. Did God tell them to or were they moving in fear?

[@itsallaboutyoujesusworship1823]

Hi Milena, it’s me again! Keep planting seeds of faith in our lives. I believe the biggest thing you’ve implemented in my life are prayer walks and the power of prayer. I pray anointings over my home now and of course my family! Thanks ❤

[@asformeandmyhousepodcast]

Wow, praise God! How wonderful 🤍

[@itsallaboutyoujesusworship1823]

@@asformeandmyhousepodcast amen!

[@DSN430]

I was raised peer-centered to an extent since I went to school, but my parents did stuff with me after school and I never went through a phase where I didn't enjoy it. I saw my mom as my "real" best friend compared to my peers because we spent so much time at home together, more than what I spent with my friends. The random mundane stuff, just hanging out, truly does bond you and it gives a level of trust that will never break no matter what "rebellious" phase a teen may go through.

[@asformeandmyhousepodcast]

What a blessing to have that relationship with your parents!

[@Eva-xe5cz]

💛

[@charisfaith7142]

If children don’t know what their family believes, of course they’ll be influenced easily. My parents made sure I understood what was right and what was wrong in their eyes before they let me watch any sort of television. Disney (and the like) is not necessarily “evil”, you should just make sure your children understand what is right or wrong.

[@christiemchenry4586]

This made me re watch Moana - The way I explained it to my daughter - - when Moana was a child, it was her dad’s job to keep her safe. But part of growing up in teenage hood is taking responsibility for your own safety and making your own choices about the risks you take. In my reality, Moana was too young to take that risk still, but in the movie’s reality this was part of her coming-of-age. Her dad was trying to control her like she was still a child; her mom recognized that trying to maintain that control over an adult was futile, and all she could do was try to give her daughter what she could to help her succeed. That could be her leaning into her answering a calling God had for her life. To save her people! While Disney has agendas - I agree… but Moana isn’t the one we should be concerned about.

[@ThembaMaselane]

I take both your take on this Moana story, yours being a lesson to take in theirs being a warning lesson on behavior to avoid. Beautiful, thanks for this beautiful take from this wonderful movie.

[@teedc5305]

Woke up early to clean before the kids are up & listened to this podcast. Great way to start my morning with a reminder to follow my instincts (God's voice). ❤

[@nancymartinez257]

Yes, please make a video on the media and agenda behind it, that is being created in children cartoon/movies. I think everyone (i.e., adults/parents/guardians of children) need to be made aware of this agenda so that they can make informed decisions on what they choose to expose children (i.e., innocent/our responsibility/future contributing citizens) to. I completely agree with you on this matter.

[@edenhill9634]

A huge reason why I’m hopeful to homeschool my daughters. My oldest will be 3 in July and has never been in a day care but we go to play groups where I stay for her to play with other children. I always tell her it doesn’t matter what other people do, you can only control yourself and you know right from wrong. I was swayed to do a lot of things by peers to try to fit in that I regret but have given to god because I know I can’t change what happened then. When my youngest daughter turned 3 months old my PPD was so bad I turned to church and it has changed and saved my life. I’m now questioning everything for my children to be the best mother and lead them to Christ.

[@thereseo4655]

If you haven't yet, please do a video on how you dealt with postpartum rage, how you healed from that, and if you still have issues with that. Not to mention also your difficulties dealing with pregnancy nausea/vomiting because I remember you talking about the two of those in vlogs in the past.

[@stella6576]

I would suggest you watching her recent video on her own channel. She takes about her postpartum experience 😊

[@DanielleMendoza-lm3qx]

YES please make an episode about unpacking the entertainment that is pushed on our kids!

[@christineherbster609]

I think a separate talk about the “television” idea and how there’s an agenda…would be so important to do. I need it for our kids and family as well. I’ve been feeling a lot lately that this whole entertainment/shows/movies part of our life has been changing us in negative ways.

[@paintandletters]

That quote Jordan read was heart breaking it rings so true to my adolescent experience and my husband's as well.

[@histamiiini]

Wow, this really changed the way I think! I always thought it’s like a developmental stage when kids cling tight unto their friends of same age. It’s a good reminder that it hasn’t always been like this, and in many parts of the world teen age years are not a period of rebellion against your parents. THANK YOU for really challenging my world view - I’ve started questioning so many things due to your podcasts and videos!

[@lolaaa6696]

I was not raised in a christian home and i am still not religious, but i agree that it's very important for parents to influence their children in the right way. I spend a lot of time with my parents when I was a child and still am (23y.o) and I think that I still have the same view on things that my parents have. Also I never went through a phase where I did stupid things like drinking too much or experimenting with substances like many of my peers did because my parents taught me about these topics from a young age. I had a small phase at around 11 when my peers made fun of me for having good grades and I specifically remember writing a bad paper on purpose to be "cool". I came home with that paper and my dad just had this disappointed look on his phase and from thereon I knew that doing stuff to be "cool" and disappointing my parents with it was something I never wanted to do again. And I think that having a good relationship with your parents and understanding why they have the rules that they have instead of just imposing them makes it so much easier for kids to follow their parents example

[@trudiday7570]

Loved this video so much! Very convicting and has me questioning a lot of things I’ve let slide in my mothering… but no more! I’ve been meaning to tell you that a few months ago, I was praying for direction and overall help as I was feeling very lost and the next day one of your videos popped up and I’m not exaggerating when I say it changed my life and my mothering☺️I’m a 32 yr old mom of 4 (14, 12, 9, 7) and so many things you’ve said and taught has helped my family and I in so many ways! I only wish I had known this 14 yrs ago but hopefully I can implement enough from here on out to make a difference for my kids. So I just wanted to let you know how much what you’re doing is impacting others and I know you are being lead by the Holy Spirit. I feel so lifted and encouraged after each video! P.s Congrats on you’re newest little bundle of joy🥹

[@courtneyholcomb]

I remember shortly before God had so mercifully woke me up in my mothering.. My 1yo was watching and reciting Moana and one day he was singing along to the words of a Moana song “there’s no need to pray, it’s okay, you’re welcome” and that immediately put a pit in my stomach and woke me up to the messages they’re trying to instill in our children. Years ago I would’ve said “oh c’mon it’s harmless” but it’s not.

[@emmag.12]

Thanks to you both for this!! I have been so prayerful over what my children’s education is looking like

[@layne751]

oh my goodness YES PLEASE more unpacking of movies and their effect on our kiddos. I find it so hard to to be really deeply committed to stray far from a lot of those disney type shows, even being a lower screen family!

[@montanawatt4855]

Struggling with our 4 year old girl right now being so influenced by other kids at kinder and neighbours 😢 her attitude and the things she’s saying and her behaviour is out of control

[@saintamerican6105]

Pray off the generational CURSE and make sure you repent Dont forget to intercede for that baby!

[@_l0veStaR]

I would love for you guys to unpack the world of entertainment too .. I agree with everything you are saying and it's making me truly analyze in a deeper way for my son.

[@sgtigereye]

Always love your videos thank you

[@amymacquarrie6966]

That was awesome!

[@ForMyDaughtersandSons]

The book referenced is, “Hold on to your Kids” by Neufeld and Mate. It’s a good read. Great video!

[@saintamerican6105]

Amen! Motivating me to not only read the Bible 12X’s like every grandma says lol - but to truly know the Bible and who God is also *spend more time in my prayer closet of course!

[@Aliyahberksssd]

Yall do get new subscribers. I’m a new sub so don’t shy away from visiting a topic that yall already spoke on. I’d love to hear

[@asformeandmyhousepodcast]

Thank you for being here!

[@haleyturner8186]

Another comment I always hear other than "how are you going to socialize your kids?" Is "They are going to resent you." Sadly I hear this the most. I wonder what the best response to that is? Any thoughts?

[@saintamerican6105]

We dont have to respond to demons. Narcissists dont listen anyways, just say, “ya i hear ya but I hear God too, i love you so much, good seeing ya and walk away!”

[@nanaronhano337]

I think kids who grow up to resent their parents do so when they lack empathy and grace. A truly mature person recognizes what their parents did right and what they did wrong. I think it’s amazing when kids born to the most horrible, abusive parents recognize that their parents had deep, serious issues that prevented them from being who they should have been. It’s really amazing to see adults be able to forgive and let go of the past by the grace of God. So I think if you genuinely love your children, want the best for them, and raise them appropriately with humility and respect, they will probably turn out fine. The emphasis needs to be on relationship. A true, authentic relationship with God first. And second, an understanding relationship with one’s children.

[@NivesScott]

I love this series so much. Milena, your videos were so instrumental to my own path to God and faith, from lifelong atheism, they helped guide me in the right direction after so many years of being lost in the modern world. I’ve actually taken it upon myself to start sharing on my own journey and thoughts on KZbin, if ever anyone is interested in having a look I’d so appreciate it (as it feels like I’m talking to myself right now 😅)

[@asformeandmyhousepodcast]

Praise God!!

[@Maverick-zy7yu]

I too also opened my eyes when you had mentioned the Disney tv shows, my daughter turned 2 so we were able to change that very quickly. We’re no longer a Disney family for many reasons. I used to be lenient with them watching bluey but even bluey was causing them to whine and never be content with what they had. now we’re only watching bible stories and teach them hymns and prayers.

[@saintamerican6105]

I stay away from ALL secular and anything that doesnt mention Christ as King

[@TwiFiveGirls101]

How can I find other families who are screen-free or at least severely restrict access to screens? I wanna be around like-minded families and kids. I love our church, but the parents there thats not a value they hold. *Does anyone have ideas?*

[@RCGWho]

I struggled with this on the early 2000s when mine were teens. It's tough. It will sound extreme, but here we are with children getting their gender changed. Limit time with children you don't know well or know are a bad influence. Keep devices out of bedrooms, or they will check out of the family and be tempted to look up trashy stuff. Face the fact that you have to teach your children the fact that other people have different convictions, are ignorant of the Word of God, God is working on something else in the other family right now etc. I was surrounded by parents allowing Harry Potter (not starting a war here), pokemon, MySpace, guitar hero with half dressed go go dancers, and video games like Mortal Kombat. You have to forgive a lot, stay humble, pray for others etc. Teach your children that everyone is in a different place in their spiritual growth, their understanding of scriptures, how much they are walking in the Spirit, or in the flesh. Your children will say things like, "But xyz very nice Christian family does xyz worldly/carnal thing." It's confusing for them, and it's hard to explain without coming off self-righteous or saying straight up that the other family is in sin. For example, you'll find the majority of Christian girls seem to wear bikinis and are TS devotees. Super fun swimming against the tide, but that's what we're called to. Finding friends on the same page? I have no idea! Try joining Bible Study Fellowship and see if any of the ladies seem on the same wave length? One thing I learned from the Now That We're a Family podcast: Katie's mom would tell them that she had to stand before God for what she allowed them to do, not the other parent.

[@TwiFiveGirls101]

​@RCGWho Thank you so much for your reply. I was a child/teen in the 2000s and saw all that and _worse_ as a kid. Because of that, I know how important it is to protect my boys. I love Katie's content. I actually found her a few months ago because I searched for screenfree ideas and it led me to her podcasts which I watch all the time now. Then she hosted Jordan and Meliana a couple months ago and now I'm comsumed with their show too. I just love hearing from these God honoring couples and families and wish I had people like them as friends in my physical everyday life to fellowship with.

[@RCGWho]

@@TwiFiveGirls101 I'm also thinking about sometimes there are people on your life that you're overlooking because they're older or not exactly what you're dreaming of. Ask yourself, "Who do I already know? Who has God given me that I'm overlooking?"

[@saintamerican6105]

I pray about it and have yet to meet any, will probably join the Amish in the next few years and go all in lmao!

[@alyssasmith5433]

Love it! My grandparents did such a beautiful job of sharing stories of their lives with us so much from the 1930s and so beautifully shared how can had blessed them, saved them, and every miracle they’ve witnessed all their lives. It is ingrained in me all the miracles and ways God has used them. Even the fun miracles like my grandma finding $10 in her pocket one day and went to the movies! I love that they shared all their history with me and I can’t wait to do the same with my son.

[@hosannaalem27]

Can we apply this to friendships as well? The opinions of our own peers, other 'young adults' mattering to us more parents and elders in the church?

[@_pugito1659]

Yes its happening within Christians! Our kids are so vulnerable people need to watch every corner and protect them!

[@bridgetbrase3729]

What are some recommendations for books for kids that you keep in your home? Like a top 10-15 books that are most read in your home outside of the Bible and your Bible stories app.

[@ThembaMaselane]

Programs are there to program you and your family.

[@emmieBBBB]

I'm 25 year old and Was put into preschool as soon as I was potty trained. Basically from twelve to eighteen I wanted nothing to do with hanging out with my mom and dad. All I wanted to do was hang out with my friends. Now that i'm an adult there's no person I would rather sit And talk with then. My mom and dad and my goal as a mom is to have my kids. Feel that way through what in my opinion is the hardest years of your life. being a teenager. Because there's a lot of emotions in feelings that without the guidance of your parents. You just really cannot understand and most kids Just assume they're parents, don't understand.. This is my biggest argument when it comes to talking to my friends who sent their kids to public school. Do you want your kids to envy other kids? Or do you want them to envy you and emulate what you do rather than emulate what other children do? Because from my experience spending my whole life in public school. Because my parents didn't know any better. Doing what my friends did got me into trouble every single time.

[@asouthafricanindian9258]

Please do a video maybe with a guest about the difficulty in moving from a professional into your true calling as a full time mother and wife. And the challenges with identity and pressures of the world when you decide to follow what God calls us mothers to be instead of being "working woman". I struggle some times with thoughts of feeling I failed as a physiotherapist and let patient down and my skills but my true calling and fulfillment is in being a wife and mom and I love it but I do still have thoughts of whether I failed as a professional and to patients because I chose to be a sahm even thought I know this is what God wants for me

[@marthaminkelis4645]

Can you please do a talk about discipline and how you think is bibical?

[@healingkatlyn99]

4:09 could you do a video on how to teach your child about the Lord and what's okay to teach them. I am just now starting to read the Bible myself the last 6 months or so. I'm still learning and IDK how to teach him but I want him to know the Lord because I wasn't taught when I was younger

[@katieyungen1647]

20 plus years ago, one of my cousins who wasn't even a Believer at the time, would not let his children watch Disney movies because, he pointed out, all the princesses rebelled against their fathers/families! I've always remembered that!

[@UNFORGIVABLExGAMING]

I would definitely remember that too! What a dangerous and silly position for your cousin to have!

[@healingkatlyn99]

18:23 could you pls do a video on how to parent. Gentle parenting seems to be to much and spanking . We tried both and both haven't worked

[@amandakate1247]

Amen🙌

[@Severianaxo]

I need a hour long podcast please haha! 🤭

[@TheSingleManPodcast]

Love this title!

[@julianagoncalves5077]

There’s a book that would perfectly match with this series and I think you guys would really like to read it! It’s called “Ten principles of true education” by Joshua White

[@avght99]

Peering centering is not a bad things it gives children a sense of world and different people they will be exposed to. You guys are isolating your children to the real world and you might find that one day they will resist you for it. I’m 25 and I have been living on my own and away from parents and spend most of my time with my peers and it’s changed my life and yes I have great parents but my peers are so important.

[@hugsforlove]

❤❤

[@HolisticOne]

I recommend mm graudian phone and yeppie tv

[@user-wz7uz5uh7c]

Yall always sound so confused on what you're trying to explain. Like you watched a video on something and you're trying to summarize it in your own words but it's not making any sense. I don't learn or feel affected by anything your podcast does. It just sounds confusing, sorry.

[@Kay-fj1sd]

They get alot of their info from other creators on IG and then try to make a video about all these different memes or short videos they consume. It does come off as very confusing and incomplete.

[@nicoleandrea4691]

You can go if you dont like. 😅 Simple as that

[@jaclynswanson246]

It’s SOOO clear that there is an actual “agenda” to get kids to question their parents religion/christianity. Moana theme is very intentional. As well as everything else.

[@christiemchenry4586]

Examples are , how you both are going against the grain of what your parents did with you growing up. I’m not agreeing with Disney. I’m simply saying you can choose to have your own interpretation for learning in that context of “Moana” Most families of origin , culture influences behavior. They do what they know. Kids benefit from not reading into so much stuff that they psychoanalyze everything that they have anxiety.

[@RCGWho]

It all adds up though. All those hours. Watching things repeatedly. And there is always an agenda. When I was a child, we watched a movie once and moved on with our lives, now with streaming service and DVD, it's basically indoctrination and idolatry.

[@saintamerican6105]

There parents did things their way not God’s way and im sure they’re doing things that God doesnt approve either... the whole point is to do your best, God will do the rest. God’s mercy will purify the bloodline one generation at a time. Their children will surpass them in Holiness Lord Bless! Thats what we want

[@saintamerican6105]

The flesh makes mistakes but the Holy Spirit does NOT

[@saintamerican6105]

Public school destroyed me and having a distracted mother who never spoke to me in a loving way made the world seem dim by the time i was 13. So yes i will homeshool my children, i will shelter them from evil, they will know God, they will know the bible AND they will have a joyful fruitful childhood AMEN

[@christiemchenry4586]

Jesus went against the grain, Christian’s go against this worldly life. So Moana would not have been able to save her people from their demise if she didn’t listen to her inner voice- who’s to say that didn’t come from GOD.

[@saintamerican6105]

I lost count of how many people said they read the Bible 5, 6, 10 times but literally forgot what the Ten Commandments are nor do they follow them and most of these ppl cant summarize any chapters in the Bible except the story of Adam & Eve lmao

[@shareenyuriar]

Wow I just love the idea of “serving your kids” and giving them more than just their necessities. Especially when it’s the most inconvenient for the parents because kids see that and it’s beautiful to see parents be more than present. I’m expecting a baby boy in September and I love the parenting style you guys are pushing. Also, I always noticed this culture or trend of moms complaining about motherhood or soaking in the negative parts but raising children is so much bigger than the tantrums and the “inconveniences”, and that’s why I believe not all parents deserve children but all children deserve parents. All I want is to be the best mom even if that means putting my feelings aside for the benefit of my children growing up to be successful self-controlled men and women of God. 🤍

[@saintamerican6105]

Yes we must die to our flesh and do everything for the glory of God. Its a hard walk. Most grow weary and quit :( God bless you, you got this!!! All we really need is the prayer closet and our Bibles!