STOP MAKING THESE CONVERSATION MISTAKES! | Speak Elegantly | Improve your Conversation Skills

Conversation is a sure fire way to reveal a lot about yourself- whether positive or negative. It's one thing to judge someone on their appearance- perhaps they had a bad hair day or it was just one of 'those days'. You can redeem yourself by dressing better next time. However, when it comes to conversing, oftentimes there is little space for error. You can't take words back! So can you see why the way you speak is of utmost importance?
In this video I dive deeper into technical aspects of conversation. Many of the things mentioned are done subconsciously and you can easily train yourself to improve these traits. Join me in this video where I explore 8 conversation mistakes you'd do well to stop making.
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#conversation
#artofconversation
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#speakenglish
#womanofelegance

[@peaceloveandunderstanding]

I am a man, but I just subscribed to your channel. I find most of your tips applicable to anyone who wishes to level up. This would be a much better world if we all applied your wise counsel. Thank you for trying to make a difference.

[@sulusu4812]

Thanks for being here!

[@deegassaway6854]

Agreed. ❤

[@glowwithsandra]

English is my second language, even though I Speak , read and have conversations in English for a few years now. I've noticed I haven't improve my vocabulary as much. This year I'm focused on becoming more eloquent.

[@RayannaNorwood.5250]

I agree with u.

[@akellohelen1357]

🎉

[@mimimwa4380]

1. Use the correct greetings based on which country you reside in. Avoid asking "How are you?"you should ask "How have you been." Stop saying "Nice to meet you." instead say "pleased to meet you" 2. Stop rumbling. Be brief and concise. Think before speaking. 3. Dont pretend to know something. If you dont know something ask for more information. Dont be ashamed. 4. Avoid hostile attribution bias. Stop assuming or suspecting people based on their behaviour. 5. Keep it neutral and simple. Avoid taking sides. 6. Avoid forcing humor in conversation. keeps jokes and humor to a minimum. 7. When speaking to people strive to discern their level of interest and adjust accordingly. 8.Using repetitive vocal intonation. Change your tone and emphasise on the right words to give the statement more meaning.

[@irene4770]

Thanks

[@maddybee4523]

Depending on if it’s somebody, I know very well. I’ll say hello. What’s new in your world?

[@Cat-sx6ep]

@@maddybee4523 I like this .

[@katarinastepanovic7217]

Dear Vivienne, I can't express enough how much these tips are helpful! As someone whose first language is not English I find your videos educational. Your way of speaking is something I aspire to.

[@Liz-ic6jb]

@Katarina Stepanovic your comment is written in perfect English.

[@erioluwaolamide9474]

Agreed

[@angelajg]

1. Not using the correct greeting 2. Rambling 3. Pretending to know something you don't 4. Allowing hostile attribution bias to get the best of you 5. Not keeping it neutral and civil 6. Forcing humor in conversation 7. Assuming a level of interest in what you are saying 8. Using repetitive vocal inflections

[@Anika99356]

Thank you very much. I was looking for someone to sum this up

[@ayomibh]

Your voice conveys so much confidence, it shines your elegance ✨✨✨

[@winnie1320]

You ooze elegance effortlessly. Your videos are educative.

[@turnip5359]

In the case of forcing humour, that also goes for forcing sexual conversation if it's someone you're romantically inclined with or attracted to because that's a real turn off for many people

[@happy9110]

Men do that on dates so the time say weird content sexual stuff Then if u don’t laugh they cal u to serious It’s just weird why would I talk bout sex if the women literally just met u Somtimes I think to my self men think talking bout sec wil Make us want se X ,?

[@undercat7767]

No, we in the U.S. really don't say, "Hey" as a greeting, at least not to anyone we aren't on close terms with. Even then, "Hey" is immediately followed by the person's name. In the older crowd, when we were children we would say, "Hey [Name]!" to get a classmate's or friend's attention -- not to greet them -- and our teachers and parents would correct us by saying, "Hay is for horses!" (even though hay and Hey are different words). It sounded impolite to them.

[@GanEdenHolisticHealth]

In America we hardly ever say pleased to meet you… We say nice to meet you. Pleased to meet you comes across too formal over here

[@1chicgeek368]

I often say "pleased to meet you" or "it was a pleasure to meet you", but then I'm old!🤣

[@lorrainea.285]

We also don’t greet people as “Hey”….NO IDEA where she got that from🤯

[@sulusu4812]

Not really, I think it just depends on what you're used to. I've been saying the latter since I was little. ☀️

[@LisaMHinton-ve2lh]

​@@lorrainea.285 Right! We usually say "Hi" Which is the shortened version of Hello.

[@bertydressmakingandfashion7445]

I feel it like a must to let you know how significant and interesting your channel is to me ! Thanks for taking the time to share these important values to women . Your lessons are like gems of Diamond Vivienne ! So , keep it up and by the way , you are a true classic and elegant woman yourself. No wonder why you are so knowledgeable and practical in your teaching !

[@elizabetholobatuyi117]

9lvp90

[@bunnyeclair3668]

In western USA, many people choose casual "hey" or "Hello." I prefer to say "Good morning/afternoon/evening". It communicates respect and helps the recipient know that I appreciate the same.

[@sulusu4812]

Same here! I think it's more refreshing

[@fitonlyforthemastersuse.3733]

Wow... the part where she said.."when asked a question..think carefully.. before giving an answer"...it got me. Thank you!

[@senayaethel1830]

Please can you educate me on how to start a conversation with someone? Like simple clues or start phrases 😊. Thank you.

[@_Blissfully]

Re:how are you? In my culture and country you ask e.g Me: good morning Them: good morning,how are you? Me: I'm good thank you...then you start a conversation. Other than that it sounds hostile and rude

[@adaobi_elegantfashion]

Speaking depicts ELEGANCE and Refinement truely

[@daikdike4633]

Hello elagant woman. Weldone for your good work. But I want to ask, like you said we should stop using the following phrases like: HOW ARE YOU ? HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? WHAT ARE YOU UP TO? ARE YOU WELL? NICE TO MEET YOU! PLEASE TO MEET YOU! HEY,! HELLO! In our conversations again but you did not at least give us other phrases we should use to replace these old phrases because I think we are here to learn and you are our teacher. I will be pleased if I would get a reply from you. I leave in Austria 🇦🇹

[@proudmganda1159]

Are sure you’re following?

[@mairee2794]

I usually say good morning, good afternoon, or good evening, depending on the time of day. I never use hey as a greeting. Maybe age has something to do with it. USA

[@jb78jamila]

Exactly. Hey is super casual and only used with close friends and some family members that you are familiar with.

[@naomizekeri2656]

In Nigeria, we greet Good morning, Afternoon or evening. Or greet in our various native language

[@ujunwaaniere9798]

And I think casually asking someone “are you well” in Nigeria might be perceived negatively. Just my opinion though.

[@MissAsh1]

Wow!! I have to work on the hostile attribution bias. It really affects building relationships. Thank you for taking out the time to make this video🙂 New subbie

[@mariannefidel]

Very true about it contributing to relationship building

[@anitaclemens2609]

I am an American. I have never been greeted with "Hey". I think you might have seen that in movies mostly said by very young people. We say Hello. Now I know there are movies where some young women and men say something like, "Hey, girl." But I assure you regular Americans do not do that. Especially in business settings.

[@mdlope12]

Agree 💯

[@ashleykindheartministries]

Hi, I just wanted to say that a lot of times the words I choose for greetings are words that my listener can understand. Often people in India (where I live) don’t understand my accent. So they can understand “How are you?” but not “How have you been?”

[@connie5768]

As a 68-year-old American woman I can tell you that 'hey' is very informal and should never be used with people outside one's very casual circle of friends, if at all. I'm afraid I do say 'how are you', but I will try 'how've you been' instead. Same with nice/pleased to meet you. I enjoy your channel--new subscriber!

[@minimalistdanse]

How are you is OVERUSED Better alternative than "how are you"👉🏾 how is it going how are you today how you feeling what's going on etc.

[@Magpieme98]

Vivienne, what a fantastic video! I believe that proper speech can truly take one far in life. Thank you for highlighting such an important topic. By the way, you look fabulous in yellow! Hugs from Florida 🌺

[@esthermutua1287]

First one mob love from Kenya 🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪🇰🇪💖💯 thanks for this 💗💗

[@Charmingnivya]

00:05 Conversation etiquette is crucial for elegance. 01:41 Stop using insincere and overused phrases like 'How are you' 02:56 Being concise is important for good communication. 04:18 Avoid hostile attribution bias in conversations 05:44 Avoid negative and unhelpful conversations 07:01 Be mindful of humor and conversation in different settings. 08:21 Balance the conversation and use vocal inflections effectively. 09:39 Using inflections in speaking to convey different meanings

[@HouseofMaki]

When I say “How are you?” , which I don’t say often, it is always followed by silence. Needless to say; people get a little uncomfortable realizing that I am actually waiting on an answer from them; to tell me how they are. I never liked when “how are you?” is being used as a greeting. But, say no more, I like “Are you well?” And will start using it!

[@1LovedbyHim]

Oh wow, same here! I’d literally be waiting for a reply, because when someone asks me how I am, I always answer. Sometimes I feel like just being a kid again when everything was much simpler!

[@ujunwaaniere9798]

I think asking are you well also depends on where you live. In my country, it will sound awkward like “ you look sick”

[@no-vr3hv]

The few times I’ve said “how are you” as a greeting I’ve never gotten a response which is why I avoid it now.

[@Atsilael1133]

Thank you Vivienne! I really appreciate this video, and have learned a lot. I wish you great success in all you do. Please keep producing great content.

[@adeboyekenny6938]

Good day

[@emerald2046]

Thank you you, Miss Vivienne. By the Way, I absolutely love that dress you've got on. 🧡

[@AdaUnleashed]

I really enjoyed this video, Vivienne. Thank you! How do we console someone who’s lost a loved one, you never really gave an example of what we should say. Basically, someone who’s grieving.

[@sakuraesther6309]

I get you ,I think a simple my condolences might do .Also maybe not asking them how they are doing immediately after the loss since it is obvious . Also more hugs. Kindly refrain from saying God has a plan ,Things happen for a reason ......That type of language is unnecessary. Also try to follow their pace .If they act normal try acting normal.Because they want a normal time from the grieving. Hope this helps

[@AdaUnleashed]

@@sakuraesther6309 thank you so much. I almost never have anything to say and I think at that point, it may be insensitive to say something like that. I guess if you aren’t within proximity at that point, you say “my condolences” but I also feel like if it’s a loved one, they may want more than that. Guess I’ll have to watch a video about that. Thank you so much!

[@salomebuari_senteducator]

@@AdaUnleashed The other day, my friend lost her husband. I wasn’t close to her so I couldn’t visit but I could barely call her else the silence would be obvious. I kept sending her emoji and sticker hugs until one of those days, I said: “I can’t imagine what it’s like for you right now. I can’t even ask how you’re feeling. I just want you to know I’m praying for strength for you through this and I’m here if you need someone to talk to.” That did help us both get closer that season.

[@AdaUnleashed]

@@salomebuari_senteducator aw thank you.

[@ngatiramona]

My mum would press her phone number into their hand and say, " When you need a shoulder to blean on or someone to talk too, I'm here . Just the knowledge, they're not alone was a great comfort.

[@mariannefidel]

Thank you for sharing this! ❤ it’s definitely a hard one to bite your tongue sometimes but so essential!

[@theamberturner]

Excellent video! I love how you explained everything ❤️ Thank you 😊

[@mamencaable]

Guilty 😔 on point 8. Woman! You look and transpire elegance. Yes. Great 👍

[@UgwokeChinedu]

I am not a lady but I learn a lots when I hear you speak. Thank you Vivienne

[@karenshahwan6612]

Hey would be reserved for friends in the US. I am not sure who uses that greeting though. We would commonly use what's up, or what's going on. In a professional setting that would change drastically 😁😁

[@loulou3729]

We dont say G'day in our every day lives..its very casual amongst men haha

[@lolajacomino6574]

Dear Vivienne, I recently subscribed to your channel but I have to say that I’m obsessed with watching your videos. I’m 73 but I love to learn, I also like to make sure that what “I think I know” is correct. I find your videos so interesting and helpful to everyone, not only women. Thank you for all the work you do to bring us these videos ❤

[@melodyraymond3016]

I discovered this channel a few days ago and I feel so blessed. 🙏

[@Necky.N]

I enjoyed watching all your videos, very informative

[@biancalawrence3178]

Hello Vivienne. Thank you for your informative video. In South Africa when engaging in an English conversation with any culture you always say "How are you?" after greeting even if you don't really mean to know how a person is. In Zulu, after your initial greeting of Good day (Sawubona), you always reply with Unjani, which best translates in English into "How are you?". It would be really rude to not ask this even though it is not necessarily sincere.

[@glendaspeakstotheheart]

People in America say Hello . Hey is slang usually used by young people not matured adults.

[@Rebecca-tn1yv]

Out of all chanells of this kind of content, I find yours the most informative and truly practical. You show an example of firstly an intelligent woman, than all that follows - in the context of being refined and elegant.

[@Atsilael1133]

I’m from the USA, and I use the phrase Greetings!

[@Peep1988]

Hello Vivienne, I stumbled upon your channel. I find your videos helpful for anyone. The negative remarks of viewers on your videos I find unnecessary and them not understanding where you are coming from on those topics or they are just envious of you . You are beautiful and it exudes from you. Being classy I find very attractive. I hope more women or persons follow your teachings in life as it will serve them better. Thank you.

[@teetee3912]

I try very hard to be classy in a environment that is not classy, so it’s hard for me not to be classy

[@Maha1J]

Thank you so much I learned a lot God bless you 💛

[@anastaciathomas1215]

Ive always disliked, “How are you?”, especially in passing. I only ask this to someone I’m conversing with.

[@jacquilawrie1598]

Thank you Vivienne! My speech has always been a trouble spot for me and it is something I am constantly working on, whether it is what I say or how I say it.

[@BB-nr3sm]

In the U.S., only people living in the South use "hey" as a greeting, and it is considered dialect. "Hi" or "hello" is used in the North and elsewhere, and also in the South.

[@kelzthehairstylist]

I'm from Nigeria. Greeting patterns are confusing

[@lkyhood4200]

Wow! Thanks for the free counseling. You speak about serious things like you have read my mind. Your beautiful accent of the english language, your intelligence, your detailed knowledge of the topics that you speak about, and of course, the general presentation of your show is so compelling that I subscribed instantly - halfway through the show. Thanks for helping the world through your gift of good speaking. 🙏🏽💯%

[@Helly04]

1st- Stop saying "How r u?" Instead say "What r u upto? Or R u well or "How have u been"? (Coz when hu say "How r u" it generally reflects or seems like u wanna listen "fine" from their side. 2nd rambling E.g Interviewer asks yiu a simple question & u r expected to give a simple answer (if it's like ki u started telling all abt ur childhood or random stuffs it's constantly seems that u r trying to hide ur lack of knowledge (excessively talking to hide something or people may assume that u r annoy of their question. Thus, if u want to come as an elegant lady talk less & sincerely if they ask simple question answer it simply. THINK ABOUT THE QUESTION SINCERELY & THEN GIVE THE ANSWER. REMEMBER: IF U RAMBLE U COULD SAY SOMETHING U MAY REGRET LATER 3- if u don't know something say NO & ask them. 4- Don't try to interpret others thoughts & actions it doesn't serve u & u can come across as being aloof or disengaging when u align ur thoughts this way . 5-Not keeping it neutral & civil- 6- Forcing humour in conversation -- Never do! (Only rarely in limited amount) YOUR SENSE OF HUMOUR IS DRIER THAT DESERT SAND. It's important to be mindful of where you are Keep jokes & humour to a minimum . 7-Assuming a level of interest in what u r saying - If they r giving "one word responses" then it's probably tym to "end the conversation". If u r disinterested in what they r saying perhaps its a tym to cut the conversation. 8- Using repetitive vocal inflections i.e change the tone or the pitch of voice while we r speaking in order to convey a more precise meaning of our words . HIW U SAY SOMETHING IS 5 TIMED MORE IMPORTANT THAN "WHAT YOU SAY" . Train urself to use inflections when speaking to give emphasis & meaning to the things u say.

[@kashammagaji2329]

You really are Elegant, smart, beautiful and confident.

[@smores8982]

Love your videos! New sub here. I find whenever speaking with someone who doesn’t know how to articulate themselves, it tends to create confusion. There becomes lots of miscommunication and oftentimes, people will think the person means one thing when they mean something else entirely.

[@tanya4534]

I enjoy these tips, but I don't like the "Are you well?" Instead of "How are you?" I live in th US, so maybe it depends on the area one is from but If someone asked me "Am I well?" , I will feel like the person is implying I look sick. Perhaps, "What are you up to?" Is better than "Are you well?"..?

[@winfridahbanda5739]

Thank you very much Vivienne. These lessons are truly are blessing

[@delanehopkins8333]

Hello my dear! It's such a delight to find this channel that offer advice on ones self improvement and a refresher others. Glad I came across your channel.

[@ladygaynor16]

I say, "hello", or to a more refined person i would say, "how do you do." I am from Hampshire, England. United Kingdom.

[@femmefatalexX1]

Such a smart video! Thank you

[@patriciacopeland2160]

Its always a pleasure learning from your videos

[@carismacatalyst1289]

Guten Tag! Thank you so much for this elegant introduction to become a better woman. An elegant Lady.

[@nwokohesther3145]

Hello Vivienne,Am chatting u from Nigeria,We greet Good morning or good afternoon

[@Ath-lk3xg]

I find your videos to be very helpful, so thank you! I will say that some of these tips are personal preference and are not necessarily incorrect. Everyone will not speak the same because everyone it’s not the same. As long as it’s appropriate, correct grammar I think it is OK to use different ways to greet communicate with people. Again you say something is wrong it’s not necessarily wrong. Thank you so much for your content.

[@tormapea1987]

Love ❤️ love your channel I have learned so much. Thanks.

[@Wendy-om7uw]

Vivienne, I love your channel! I’m looking for the class you mention on Skillshare but I don’t see it. Is it still available? Thank you! ❤

[@kathrynpurcell7065]

In Australia, we usually say hi or hello. G’day is somewhat a stereotype, reinforced by cringey soap operas e.g Neighbours. It’s mainly used in a casual setting and also by folks who live in regional areas.

[@noemimatias3729]

Great video. Thanks so much for sharing. 👍🏼

[@sophiaalove21]

I think whatever languages we use, it always depends on the context, fields , class, formal or informal, mode etc. There are sometimes we don’t need to sound bookish. However, I quite enjoy every bit of it while it lasted. Kudos! I am beginning to like your advice, many thanks.

[@zeinabkhamis232]

Just a polite reminder; Vivviene's videos is all about being Classy and Elegant and what she has posted concerns those interested in class & elegance, not just "any people" ; Despite of any place or person you could be communicating with!😉

[@rhondaatkins1776]

"Hey" in the US is a casual, familiar greeting. We say, "Hello". Or at least "Hi".

[@veronxska]

Your elegance is so genuine! 😊

[@Holistretch]

Please please upload every week!!! 🙏🏼🤗

[@jocelyntorcelino836]

So helpful, watching from Philippines.

[@TheMocao]

I’m from the USA, and I always consider ‘hey’ as an informal greeting that’s reserved for family and friends. Once, a man who works in my building, greeted me by saying “hey”. I responded with “hello”. I remember feeling a little insulted by this overly familiar greeting.

[@user-ko2tu3ss3o]

Stunning dress. Where may I purchase this from please Miss Vivienne? I love your videos and thank you for your wonderful encouragement.

[@emilyanthony7165]

Very helpful tips!! Thank youuu!!

[@wspivey4443]

That's a lovely dress you have on Ms Vivian.

[@melisasun8540]

Always have hard time dressing elegantly with my big breast, I am inspired by your outfit.

[@maureenrampertab9578]

I love your refined way of speaking, something I want to develop.

[@mangojuice3163]

Oh my that colour looks stunning on you 💛

[@saniyyahhollingsworth7064]

Thank you for sharing your tips on greetings.In Mexico we say buenos días , buenas tardes or buenas noches depending on the time of day.

[@jacquelinenoel2992]

Very thought provoking talk. Thank you so much! 🌷

[@soulsister2410]

I use both hello for colleagues and people I am not familiar with. I use hey with my friends.

[@azizameow1721]

Absolutely fabulous! Thank you for sharing! Love your content!

[@isatakamara9235]

I wanna thank you so much for this topic. All my time on KZbin I have never watched and listing to a video that touch me like your videos. All your videos are very educating

[@meki5976]

Great job Viveinne. I enjoy all your videos. Thank you very much. Could you please make a video on facial expression during a conversation...formal and informal. Thank you.

[@maurinaaiken9965]

Are you available for hire? This is harder than I thought. Love your channel.

[@olufunmilayotaylor5006]

Thank you so much Vivenne. Learnt a lot from this video 💕

[@aafrakomaa7855]

Wow! Great job Viv, I have been enlighten .

[@afia2284]

As Salam O alaikum-May peace be upon you.

[@r_elyaqub8214]

Vivienne I think your account has been hacked. Under your post with a picture of you wearing this dress, there are replies to everyone that commented supposedly from you, only that they don't seem to be coming from you. The comments are asking everyone to contact you via a particular email address which I doubt is your email. You may want to check and confirm if indeed they were from you or not.

[@WomanOfElegance]

Thank you very much for letting me know.

[@lydialal.l.f8382]

Thanks Vivian, that was helpful 👍

[@abegirlbih]

I've learned. Thank you Viviam

[@carm9716]

Why is it bad to say "nice to meet you"?

[@senayaethel1830]

Thanks for all the tips in this video. I've subscribed and asked a few questions on other videos which have been so helpful to me. Please how do you stay neutral in tough situations?

[@mildredgaius3342]

You're amazing and I am going to learn so much from you. Thank you very much!

[@ivanhurst2429]

I was watching your video I'm touched and moved by every thing you have said. I endorse every word very profound you're eloquent speaker thank God for you. ❤❤

[@kimmenstell2103]

I cant join the skill share class yet but when I am ready I will do so!

[@josephvalentine7]

Vivienne@5:06 something, What does it mean when someone start a sentence off with “To be honest “ ?

[@undercat7767]

It means they are taking a risk of possibly being too frank with you.

[@josephvalentine7]

@@undercat7767 Appreciate that /

[@celestinew.browne1294]

I appreciate your tips. There's a lot that'll work on

[@RuthMarfo]

Am grateful I came across your channel!!

[@FluencyAccentCoach]

Those are very useful pieces of advice on how to be an elegant woman. Thank you very much.