Stop Prolonging your Healing! This is why it's taking FOREVER!

[@curtsstoesz9030]

2 years post divorce from a 36 year toxic marriage. Moved from michigan to colorado, i cant ghost everybody. Have to learn how to deal with difficult people. Going to therapy. Feel like a walking wound. After denying my emotions for 36 years, now i am listening to them, not easy stuff.

[@cindyski4413]

My poor heart has been aching for years. Couldn’t face anyone or anything. Just wanted to hide under a rock. Which I kinda did since I didn’t have energy. I put myself in a corner with no one there to help me. I honestly felt like I was dying from lack of love. I now know I need a lot of self love. I’m grieving but getting better. I’m healing and can think clearly about all the things I can do for myself. I’ll just grey rock my way out of this. I got all my questions answered without asking the narc. Thanks to KZbin therapists.

[@quietowl1246]

Don’t hate, meditate! No seriously. If your brain feels like the enemy and you suffer with intrusive thoughts- meditate. I’ve been using headspace since 2017 and it has helped me more than anything I have ever tried. I have CPTSD, a history of anxiety/ depression and eating disorders. Meditating has helped me with healing more than anything. Exercise/ yoga also help.

[@MaricaIvica]

How often?

[@android584]

Thanks for the reminder.

[@chrism6500]

Quiet Owl - If there were videos on Utube to get you started on your meditation journey which was it ?

[@quietowl1246]

@@chrism6500 gosh I’m not sure. I’d try guided meditation. You definitely don’t need to use headspace, it’s just the one I always go back to. There are free guided meditation apps for smart phones too. Hope this helps.

[@quietowl1246]

@@rajbilla76 thank you, that was v intuitive of you. I do have fibromyalgia as well, I think it was off the back of the CPSTD. I will check this out 👍

[@jasminpilipovic4570]

This girl is a lifesaver. I swear. It gives us a guide. Because when you are so low you can’t think straight.

[@hendahammedi408]

Soooo right!

[@SomeGuy-xf9bc]

I had a realization the other day that maybe will help some folks. I couldn't figure out why I was having such a hard time getting over my ex. I realized it wasn't the person I couldn't get over, but the position they held. The gold standard of marriage is two people join together and both of them honor the marital vows, children are had, and the healthy family stays together until the parents pass. When you choose poorly, that possibility is shattered, yet the gold standard remains. There is now only one person that can possibly fill that position, and they are unfortunately incapable of doing so. When you let that person go you also have to let go of the idea of ever attaining that gold standard. When you realize your mistake after children have been brought into the world, you may still find happiness, but it will never be the optimal solution and that fact has to be mourned as well.

[@berlizgonzalez6736]

Well said! That's exactly what's happening with me rn. It's not the person I can't get over, it's the idea of a healthy complete family. That's what's so hard to mourn.

[@phabeondominguez5971]

​@@berlizgonzalez6736 EXACTLY.. so how do we make peace with that?

[@narayanparul]

Very well said .I am going through the same. Pls share any steps you have come up with to get over it

[@mandyturner8703]

In this situation too and yes that's how I feel exactly!

[@berlizgonzalez6736]

@@mandyturner8703 sorry you're going through this. It's comforting to know we're not alone. Sometimes I feel like I'm on an Island. But I'm glad that this too shall pass one day. It can only go up from here!

[@erichminkle1167]

I feel like I was physically gas lit.. was with a “personality” that wasn’t real.. who the hell was I with???

[@alastair6356]

This is good advice I have ruminated constantly. I have been depressed, unable to sleep. Routine is important and is helpful to your recovery, fill you time with things you enjoy doing. Understanding that those who are toxic, abuse, and mistreat you are not worth caring about.They didn't care for me or my feelings, my love was one sided , I was abandoned like a piece of trash, for their sick game of manipulation and destruction of my soul all to achieve their goal orientated psychopathy. But I am still here healing myself getting stronger mentally and physically. Why did I let this person infuriated my life and zombify me. Trust your instincts and recognise the Red Flags dont ignore them. When someone shows you who they are , believe them the first time, dont go back for more.

[@justaset]

So true, thanks for sharing! Feeling better 3 months after?

[@peterlarson4452]

3 years ago I was completely lost. I had no tools or resources. Your channel was one of the first that I found to help me gain the knowledge and courage overcome codependency and narcissistic relationships. I am now a mentor at a facility helping young adults that can benefit from the perspectives and healing habits I have developed. Thank you so very much. Your authentic straight forward approach is very effective

[@jenniferconroy4517]

Great to hear , best wishes...

[@bonniehafeman9757]

Don't let your beautiful family get overwhelmed by your imagination. Thanks. Amen.

[@Mags765]

Can you share steps on how you overcame this that you're now helping others?

[@tonybolakowski6076]

You’re a great communicator Stephanie. Heartfelt, clear, concise and real. Keep up the good work.

[@tonyg5132]

She’s the best communicator. Flawless.

[@noturbo]

“You should feel beautiful and you should feel safe. What you surround yourself with should bring you peace of mind and peace of spirit.” -Stacy London

[@pearpo]

^^^ best comment ❤️✨

[@ewaprzestrzelska1160]

Peace is most important.

[@bibisanchez3313]

​@@ewaprzestrzelska11601q

[@savewaterdrinkwine3802]

Oh Yes, I did BS myself this morning....but got up, got showered, makeup on....going to see a friend (a new friend)......she is cooking, I will get the wine ❤

[@pamchesler242]

As you mentioned, I am healing and consider myself to be just in the beginning stages but I feel I have come so far…what hurts (because I allow it to hurt) is all the losses..my family best friend boyfriend ..so so many.. they remain the same and I don’t feel comfortable around them because I’ve changed the old me that they knew has died and I’m in the transition phase right now sort of up in limbo. I really don’t have any friends, romantic, prospects or family and yet I’ve never felt better… but I still want relationships in my future, but they must be healthy ones and I honestly believe that those type of people are really difficult to find. I think more people go on healed, then dared to venture into the healing journey.

[@pamchesler242]

@rosalynedmonds9482i lost many relationships as I change..as those friendships and people are remaining the same (which is okay for them) but I’m not the same..I just got over a breakup as well and am having a really tough time with grief but I understand in the end, that it wasn’t healthy for me..I am so into my healing that I’d prefer (and need) to be alone in order to heal..the right people will come into my life naturally…

[@Jeff-0621]

Understanding deeply how to heal is also not linear and has levels to it. I don’t know about anyone else, but for me, I’ve heard or read about concepts, over and over. It’s good to watch again because I walk away with a different level of understanding. Like jogging, the more you do and practice the better you get. Thanks Stephanie.

[@christineshoemaker2727]

Healing hurts like hell. It's absolutely not linear. I am proud of myself for really digging deep and not jumping into another relationship. I've always run from myself. Not this time. My next relationship will be a healthy relationship. Period.

[@fringbabyross4718]

Just walked away from a woman with fearful avoidant attachment. I blocked all contact. I’m so crushed and devastated. The grief is real. I really wanted her 😢

[@ckl5801]

You wanted someone that never existed…you imagined “her”…she was a figment of your imagination…reflect who she actually was…

[@_ross5800]

Im twenty seconds into this and really looking forward to finishing. Healing....

[@ikelifestyles]

I needed this for sure. Was going down that path of bringing up the past and trying to rationalize it.

[@aishahwilliamsmobley]

Write a letter to yourself to and about your abuser. What you want need to say to them.

[@christopherbrubaker2070]

I forgot and fed the sadness today. Thanks for the reminder.

[@robertashaffer3950]

This was so so excellent I have written down a lot Stephanie. I see how I am prolonging my healing and how I am self-sabotaging myself...A LOT! ''What is missing from your life?'' Definitely time for me to sit down with myself and figure this out. Obsessed by the Google thing? OH YES! BIG TIME!! I know it is to try and feel better. Wow...this is so eye opening. I appreciate this video very much. Thank you. 🙏

[@danielrush5929]

Going thru a divorce is more difficult for me than my ex wife. I feel like this hurt will last forever. I'm trying to say it's over and get over it.

[@mayolasbones6831]

Thank you for all your beautiful energy. God loves you very much.

[@pamelasimmons1689]

I prolong my healing with my narcissistic parent by not standing by my boundaries. My codependency rears it's ugly head when I havent heard from my parent in awhile...the toxic shame takes over and i feel like a bad daughter. I always go back and touch the hot stove, just to see if its really that bad, knowing im going to get burned. Its gross that the person who causes all my guilt and shame is also the only person who can make it subside, but only when ive laid down every boundary and allowed them to manipulate and upset me. Vicious cycle.

[@J4thearts]

Yes yes! Thank you. I have been in survival mode for so long. ... and yes the balance is so hard but necessary!

[@lisagoeke5025]

"Take every thought captive" remind myself everyday

[@Misagonna88]

This is helpful. People say you need to heal, but how? It’s actually very hard to heal, and many people who say they have healed…haven’t. It’s up and down and it’s something we just have to process and deal with. I’m volunteering, meeting new people, making routines and working. I’m having to constantly rebuild as I make poor choices in love, and it’s utterly exhausting. Now it’s time to sit in this pain and discomfort and embrace the pain, and not fight it. I have to love myself, but it’s tiring to constantly having to self soothe. I can only rely on myself and take care of myself. It’s the only way.

[@Ann-pn9or]

for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

[@George-wx5nv]

Thank you Stephanie again great video ❤

[@jaimhaas5170]

Well said. Your speaking ability makes this video very educational.

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Thank you!

[@Lotus_Feet]

Thank you very much! I'm feeling better instantly ❤

[@poeticnation6251]

Thank you Stephanie Lyn. This was an extremely helpful narcissistic abuse, healing, video.

[@husnaamalia6097]

You know what hits the most when I am before and on period. My emotion is really crazy. Thats why im afraid to face that days cause I cant even think Right😭

[@RR-fn6dm]

I’m the same way. It’s awful. Sending you a hug.

[@Itwaswritteninthestars]

Thank you so much Stephanie!!!!❤❤❤ I needed to hear this right now it gives me so much hope!!!

[@mrrobert6173]

Thank You Stephanie. And GOD Bless You for helping me in my healing journey. You are an Angel. Peace be with you always. And Thank You for your KZbin Videos. 🙏✝️❤️

[@Junior-vv1xg]

I have learned in my own experience that yes, therapy is a great thing but at the end of the day u can't fix a person & it's not your job to ... Somethings only (GOD) can do. .... looking back u will be able to see it was GOD)) our father say my son/daughter this is not my will for your life so, I must remove u from this toxic situation because, I have a plan for your life.❤ Jeremiah 29:11😊

[@mymentorjane6705]

I agree with your point. All of the steps Stephanie mentions are important. One of those areas where more is needed is healing after Abortion. I support people in that area and helping them connect to and accept God’s love and Grace makes all the difference.

[@eagleeye2300]

EMDR therapy is awesome, versus just talk therapy. Because trauma is stored in the nervous system and just keeps looping in the brain and body unless released. Physically released.

[@Igotchowighoe]

I love this, it was truly needed ❤

[@kristelwalton3141]

Thank you for this message!

[@precioussanders9562]

This video felt like a hug!

[@bonniehafeman9757]

Some times you have to go beautiful. Thanks. Amen

[@lisahartmann5470]

Thank you ❤

[@123vimalan]

I needed to hear this message…

[@pearpo]

Very useful advice and information. Love the distinction on healing and knowing if you are sufficiently healed.

[@rosaliaoliver-qv3gr]

I understand, thank you for your good advice !

[@Flips44]

Ur videos help me so much

[@seattlegomez75]

Thank you for everything ❤

[@flyincosmo9356]

Awesome post! So awesome that I re-posted this on LinkedIn. The serendipity of these topics with my life situation continues to freakishly resonate. Thank you Steph!

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Thanks for sharing!

[@johnshafer7214]

I have been dealing with double trauma of a narcissist my parents brought onto the farm ten years ago and he nearly ran it into the ground and losing my marriage I treasured and not raising my children the way I wanted. Good video.

[@mariotaylor9659]

You make it make sense thx you ma’am 👏🏽🙏👍❤️🔥

[@quinachiquita]

Thank you coach Stephanie. ❤this is just what needed to hear today. I’m in this healing journey and I’ve been looking up why it’s been taking so long to get out of this funk but you said something I want to take with me which is being okay to go through this process yet do things to make forward movement.

[@universalseeker]

I'm in practice within the healing process. 😊

[@GregoryIngle-eb6lr]

Love your stuff

[@hankhill3417]

Read the “untethered soul” , “power”, “co dependent no more “

[@muh4225]

I get relief when I ever listen to u ...After feeling

[@asifmuniruniverse7732]

Hi, it's true i use do where I need to see and now answer about frist question because all things goes with suition I always wanna to do more with better way without any problem

[@damienwelch9067]

Consciousness

[@jamesegan8184]

these are the best and most helpful videos, thank you Stephanie Lyn

[@moniquegibson7324]

I love this ❤

[@cintroberts6614]

I just take my time and drink a lot of water and everything else falls into place. I don't overthink it, it really is that simple.

[@NFSMAN50]

Happy Friday Steph, I think most of us are guilty with this, we tend to make every excuse in the book, such as "Oh it's too expensive", "What would my family, friends etc think of me", "What if my consuelor, therapist gets irritated with me" or "what if this doesn't work.

[@wendyray7333]

Thank you for your guidance. 💜

[@yucanthandledatruth4874]

You’re so pretty.

[@audioplatform6299]

Awesome content helping people get better! And btw, your hair is soo beautiful today!

[@nataliesamuelson9016]

Your videos are so helpful thank you

[@TheodorusRex]

Stephanie always has rewarding advice. So many videos of helped me move forward.

[@suel5120]

Thank you for all your videos and contents! I much appreciate you!

[@lukaskravies1434]

Thank you.

[@paigeconcannon3096]

Thank you !!

[@KTR__]

Using Dr. David Hawkins' letting go method and meditation has really helped..❤

[@Mindsetolympics]

Shes auch a feminine oriented coach shes not giving you directly 7 steps to heal faster but moreso habits and philosophies to adopt about healing ❤

[@damienwelch9067]

Balance ❤

[@hushpuppies872]

Hi Stephanie, your videos are very helpful and real. Thanks so much for sharing your knowledge. I recently went through a situation where I was in love with someone I could never be with. We never confessed but I felt like he was interested and suddenly pulled away and started behaving very rude. I wanted us to atleast be friends but now I feel dumped. Please cover this topic in one of your videos. Thanks much.

[@MissErica1111]

Thank you, Stephanie! 💗

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Welcome!

[@eagleeye2300]

I feel like I may have had a nervous breakdown without knowing it. Not sure.

[@RachelStark-vs3dp]

I’ve never got help after 20yrs I got in another relationship thinking I had control of my emotions I didn’t. I don’t know how to know what’s bothering me and how to deal with it. I need help finding out what it is that’s making me angry. HELP HELP HELP!!!!!

[@scrapperrn]

When is the Self Parenting online course starting?

[@airbnbadventureswithjeannie]

Do you ever talk about detailing your career goals with someone or have you ever in any of your videos talked about making a parent video? It’s really important to me to know. Thank you. I just need to know if you’ve ever talked about either of those two things in any of your videos..

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

I absolutely have here and there. Every video I’m talking about these topics narcissism, divorce, breakups, codependency but summary of all of them comes back to ourselves and learning how to become healthy. Mentally and emotionally. I then translate that skill to the goals you set for yourself. If you said you want to find the love of your life that really is the same skills as you wanting to make $1 million dollars.

[@sashad.7722]

I thought healing means no emotions. Thank you❤

[@mikesmoak7325]

I'm now ,I think, obsessed with your videos. Very enlightening but , is it healthy for me ?

[@artluvr6170]

Most people watching this video likely have codependency issues. After the breakup of a toxic relationship, it’s easy to find someone or something else to become codependent with - including KZbin videos about healing from toxic relationships and codependency.

[@Chossid-er6nl]

Very interesting

[@marymartin6896]

I do not understand why I knew a year and a half that my relationship was over....WHY did it take me so long to end the relationship.....if you know, please tell me!

[@amynoyes6521]

My mom refuses to realize my former caregiver is a narcissist, what can I do to remedy this?

[@dhamon-pi6os]

Not healing I need help with and personality disorders doesn't explain the treatment I received. The only way things like happened to me can't impact your life is if others want to quit doing it or the, easiest way, is information and understandingvv

[@Godgirl42]

Stephanie, do you have any advice for me? I am on a healing journey. So, me and my husband separated months ago but Sunday I told him I was ready for a divorce and it just feels like it’s killing both of us inside and I’m super compassionate and I still care a lot for him, but I can’t live with his lifestyle and the mistrust and the addictions. I just really need somebody to tell me how I’m ever going to heal from this because I still care for him and I can’t stop worrying about him. 😢 I don’t know how to switch the focus on myself sometimes. I don’t feel strong enough.

[@JAYDADIOR372]

How heal my ex broke heart 💜 now I’m pregnant by you

[@IWearACrown]

How to find a social group or finding friends is not easy…

[@p1472]

After 3 years, I can't find my ballance

[@agrellusboi1210]

im kinda lost honestly like i broke up with her but im still sad as hell but shes already moved on in a matter of weeks i just dont get it at all

[@jenniferclemente1516]

That usually means they already had that person lined up. It's a learning experience but you have to learn to guard your heart. Pray to be directed to what you are supposed to be doing in life and usually you get an answer. I've have been out for about 2 years after 40 years of toxic relationships so you can do it. Love and God bless from Baltimore 💜🌹🙏☕

[@denisecameron1564]

Right there with you sweetie...I'm going through the same thing except it have been months now...& what I do to get by everyday is keep my gospel music in my earbuds, watch Step every chance I get & watch t d jakes on TV & read my Bible everyday after work...🎉

[@agrellusboi1210]

@@jenniferclemente1516 thank you it really means a lot to me in this shitty time im going thru

[@agrellusboi1210]

@@denisecameron1564 I appreciate you a lot this stuff is never a fun time to say the least but at least im seeing a lot more of myself in this time, I hope things are going well for you

[@Mjones4949]

Me too, man. I'm still in disbelief that I meant nothing to the person who called me her soulmate and wanted to marry me. I took care of her for years, but once I was at my lowest, she cheated and discarded me. I didn't know people this evil existed. Just blown away.

[@kimyoungjin8293]

Full volume n I can not hear ur voice properly except when I’m not near any noise

[@mothercoyote351]

Question for u; what if for the most part in ur life u have lack of emotions to certain things like death because of a childhood trauma?

[@tinaterry1280]

I never cry at funerals, but I cry for everything else

[@aaronstone1528]

Some pain and loss is not recoverable

[@annav61]

What is long time tho? 😢

[@calmcrinkles]

Me: feel your feelings, it’s not always just 1+1 = 2 Sheldon Cooper: but 1+1 does equal 2 (On a serious note though, I am SO grateful for your channel and the healing I am experiencing because of it❤ thank you Stephanie!)

[@dark7angel456]

I know alot of these ppl,they never change, i hate them, these random people barge into my life and wreak HAVOC

[@michealcarver2474]

True healing only comes from 1 source. His name is Jesus Christ. By His stripes we are healed.

[@douglasthomas7952]

My fiancé just picked up and walked out on me one year ago. I am 59 years old and it is the hardest thing I’ve ever been through in my entire life. I simply do not know when I’m going to get right. I am a very strong follower of Jesus and I have been praying many times a day for a year to get over it. I am still a mess! I really don’t know if I’m ever gonna be right again.

[@smitha1867]

I don’t think so. Ram Ram 🙏🏼

[@michealcarver2474]

@@douglasthomas7952 Yeah, sometimes things happen which we don't understand,..but I believe in the end we will all understand.

[@annetterichardson8320]

@@douglasthomas7952 Keep seeking Christ and light in your life! I promise the more you seek God/Christ the happier and more balanced you and your life will get. Prayer can BE the movement in your life that becomes the most important and will change you the most!

[@stephanie387]

❤❤❤

[@aaronstone1528]

Stephanie I dont know how to heal and what to live. I loved her for over 10 years. She had so much trama I can't even list it all. But I loved her and took care of her and her 2 adult kids this whole time. She has my 2 dogs lives in the home I bought. Tomorrow I'm signing papers to go to court to force the sale of the house. I know she is a covert narcissist she was raped at 8 had alcholic parents abusive parents she in turn became an alcoholic lost her kids. Cheated on her husband and I never blamed her or held her at fault. I knew her parents I took care of her dad for 2 years while he was dying and her mom died 3 years earlier. Then she went into menopause and loat her mind. And I can't live like this. I miss her so much and my dogs so much and I don't want to live. Dying would be a relief from this nightmare and I watch you videos and learned things but everyday is the same thing. I know now I'm not going to heal and I will probably hang myself. I am a loving good person and have things going for me but none of that makes a difference

[@danielchavez3345]

Amen

[@kimmaddison8686]

My partner went to prison today after he pulled me down to the floor by my hair new years eve hit me Feb 6 gave me a black eye

[@tinaterry1280]

I'm glad he's gone, out your life. Next time could of been death.

[@TheWickieGame]

❤

[@Ryan-yg7zc]

Is it normal to lose interest in sex during this healing phase?

[@eagleeye2300]

I'm no professional but I'd say absolutely. And that can be a sign of depression, too. And it would be natural to keep to yourself after being betrayed/traumatized by someone who was supposed to love you. Sex without intimacy could make someone feel worse. At least imho. Best to you. It takes a good amount of time to come back...I'm a pretty strong person and it's been years for me...I'll never be the same. What I want is my happiness and gratitude for living back. Narcissistic/psychopathic individuals literally steal your mojo. Time to get it back...And live even better.

[@joebeer2160]

My ex and I are still friends..I will get over our breakup but it will take longer..just the way it is.