STOP the Addiction to Ruminating!

You ever stop and think about how many of us go through life without even realizing we're overthinking? It's like we're on autopilot, constantly analyzing every little thing. And you know what's even worse?
Some of us don't realize that this overthinking habit is actually a response to trauma. I used to be in that boat-I mean, I had no clue half the time that I was overthinking my way into stress and anxiety. It was like this cycle I couldn't break, always telling myself, "Think more! Think harder!" But you know what? That pattern kept me stuck for years.
But today, I wanna share with you what I've learned, how I've managed to break free from that endless rumination. Trust me, it's been a journey, but there are things that really helped me get out of that overthinking loop when I didn't need to be in it.
Thanks for wathcing!
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[@trudibarraclough478]

Some say this is self gaslighting. Memories pop into my head mostly while I am driving, then I get a wave of shame. I recognize it early now and deliberately call to mind a past success. It's a practice that may be lifelong, just like physical exercise to stay fit.

[@jennifermccandless555]

Love this idea

[@Arlene_witha_y]

All this is what has taken me to the age of 40 to finally be able to do. A life long ruminator, huge traumas, years wasted overthinking. Finally learning to let it all go and live in my moments.

[@jamesmill325]

You do not understand yourself and your own emotions

[@KingTrayTovine]

This just happened to me but because of individuals such as this Woman. I can be at ease in trying to control aspects of my relationships that just isn't logical. I refuse to let truma destroy my future bonds and relationships.

[@reettaelina]

narcissistic relationships isn't ever going logical and then brains isn't logical anymore too😢just trying to heal my brains to become myself again, I hope you get safe

[@jamesmill325]

There is no absolute or free will.

[@D-rz4qz]

One of the most cruel things in the world is how they taught us to gaslight ourselves. No more.

[@jamesmill325]

The knowledge of evil is an inadequate knowledge.

[@n.sundari889]

Thank you ruminating has been a problem.🦋

[@jamesmill325]

Everything is going to be okay

[@thecommonsensecapricorn]

What an aha moment. I’m ruminating to avoid feeling the uncomfortable feelings of rejection, abandonment, shame, heartbreak.. my rumination is always looking for reasons why the person didn’t want me back, I need to stop looking for answers or making up ones that make me feel better & just feel the rejection, feel the abandonment.

[@MrOldskool1974]

This comment helped me so much! I'm in this exact same space. Thank you for the wisdom and insight.

[@Lotusawj]

Thank you for my answer, that I could not find myself 🌷

[@sirvimmy]

I had to watch the second time because I was ruminating during the first listening 😂

[@PolishBehemoth]

-_-

[@fabianafran927]

This video came in perfect timing for me, I struggle with this but now I got more clarity!

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

When the students ready the teacher will appear. It always happens like that.

[@paulohlsson27]

Hi fabiana, how's your day going with you?

[@silvermine2033]

This is very true and something I struggle with.

[@ARichardP]

That’s helpful to frame overthinking as a trauma response. Gives me a better perspective.

[@sanjeevbains690]

What has helped me is to step into my feminine energy by feeling into my body and naming the emotions coming up. Then I move into action to become unstuck by giving myself what I need. 💚🌿

[@james50227]

Good Stuff. and I have been thinking about this recently before you said it. especially on not being aware. Good advice

[@ItsaLozathing]

Oh my gosh you are amazing. Made so much sense and now I understand a lot more about my rumination. I didn’t even know I did it till my dad, sister and an ex would constantly mention that I over thought too much

[@jamesmill325]

You’re imagining yourself and other people

[@Leaf-YT]

thanks, I needed this video I was overthinking a lot and it wasn't helping and making me more anxious. (felt like a blackhole keep sucking my thought process and sanity)

[@rs1107]

♥️ Stephanie IS The Best ❤

[@Sam-pl3yd]

Thank you Stephanie 💕I am so grateful I have you to listen to and I have learned to ruminate with ease after years of abuse 🙏❤️

[@nicojoin]

I never comment on anything but wow did you post this for me right when I needed it. Thank you ❤

[@janet4513]

Thank you, Stephanie for all your knowledge!!! And Expertise!!You are the best.!!🤗👍I’ve been watching you for years and you’re so spot on!! I have learned so much from your videos .. thank you !!🙏

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Yay! Thank you!

[@leeedgy4736]

Thank you for sharing your wisdom 🙏🏼

[@montereyspike]

Not that simple. Just because I can say, "I don't want to live there anymore", this does not mean that the CPTSD flashbacks are simply going to disappear, altogether. No, this is not a mere question of, "Will-power", "Determination", "Laziness", "Strength or Weakness" or otherwise. As Van Der Kolk has often said, "The Body Keeps The Score". Being raped by those closest to me, perhaps hundreds of times during my first ten years on this nasty planet, no matter how strong, determined or dogged I may be, this will be a lifelong Battle, often a BATTLE FOR SURVIVAL.

[@user-cx9qy7ky3w]

Sounds like a terrible life experience God only knows why terrible things happen to innocent children and there is no easy explanation or reason why I have had to ask God over and over to help me and sustain me through my life living with a somewhat traumatic childhood and alcohol and drug addictions which are long gone even after the abuse or the trauma has stopped we are left with the damage only God and a very very few decent people have brought me through the depression and the agony of life to be 62 years old many people would have killed themselves or wound up dead from the experiences I have lived through there are some things we will never explain or figure out in this life we just have to put our faith in something bigger than us and carry on hopefully God will carry you through your pain and problems until we reach our final destination I'm not healed or happy but God has been merciful to me I have lived through many things that others didn't make it through God bless you on your journey at my age I have realized life is very short try to enjoy what we have good in our lives and leave the past where it belongs in the past the old devil wants to keep us stuck in the suffering of the past but we can move on with the right help

[@angelrosee73]

Thank you - actually helps me understand a couple people around me too

[@mookymookymooo]

You move fast but your coaching is dense with goodness. Thanks

[@Raymond-c2z]

To go through trauma and then find relief is growing pains. To be down the only way is up ❤

[@cindipierce1478]

So me ...everyday

[@williamchevalier2224]

Your videos have been a major part of my growth

[@olive4naito]

I'm actually very emotional but overcompensate by overthinking because emotions can overwhelm you and it's a survival response.

[@jayneharvie5146]

You capture so much and clearly communicate concepts! This has helped me every day. Thank you❤

[@babycakes8434]

I don't care about the answer, I just want my brain to stop spinning😅

[@NFSMAN50]

Helloo Stephanie, always great to see you friend!! I'm guilty of ruminating over things, but I'm trying to learn to not, it's definitely tough forsure!!

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

It’s a battle especially when you don’t know you’re doing it.

[@emptynesters2520]

Needed this today! Thank you Stephanie Lyn!💖

[@4EverEvolving1]

This video came at the perfect time because I'm going through a divorce in which the relationship was 23 years long. This video puts a lot of things into a understandable (to me) perspective because I keep ruminating and I can't stop. Hopefully this will help give me some insight on how to deal with what I'm doing to myself. Thank you, your videos are super helpful.

[@hendahammedi408]

Same happened to me.but not anymore!be strong!

[@johnCjr4671]

Been stuck in overthinking for months about losing my business and home . Its inevitable but just cant face it so been isolating and ruminating in the pain. Not seeing a path forward and can’t seem to accept this ! 😢

[@bobnandez]

believe it of not its a chance to start all over without the pressure and with more wisdom and experience. Rest a little bit, forgive yourself TOTALLY and start again without any rush. keep me informed please.

[@aprilvaughn9781]

Yes I ruminate a lot. This was well needed to start learning how to stop. Thank you

[@amyg995]

Its the moving forward for me like what now, where do I go from here, I have no idea 💡 I suffer with social anxiety had it all my life, so it's not as easy to just go out and move on and meet new people, I just feel stuck 😔❤love your channel 🙏🏻☮️💜

[@Yosef_Maharat]

Thanks!

[@George-0811]

Great video. So helpful. It also validates me that I'm not the only person who does this. Gigi

[@Starrr-jb2cf]

There are a lot of great creators and videos on KZbin that are very helpful, but your channel always has something that I’m needing to hear and great advice. You always know what to say even when I wasn’t aware that I was feeling a certain way more than I needed to hear that it always connects for me so thank you.

[@rosaliaoliver-qv3gr]

❤❤Thanks you Stephanie❤❤

[@dhamon-pi6os]

Not always. Why would you believe overthinking is always a problem? How a lot of things are actually figured out in the world. You can feel and think both ypu know

[@danteghazizadeh1656]

She herself said it can be useful in two situations…

[@ARichardP]

Thinking vs overthinking.

[@Imlookingover007]

Just what I needed !!!

[@LPD15ponce]

Great stuff!

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Glad you think so!

[@OziBlokeTimG]

I can't stop thinking, My job also requires me to think deeply. Be focused on nebulous issues, dreaming and imagination are required. When I get home i become a Gardener, then regular physical exercise where I'm forced to deal with reality. I'm slowly losing my mind.....😮 😅😅😅❤

[@littleiodine9480]

Fantastic knowledge you just shared!!! 😊

[@buzzcutart8501]

I’d absolutely love to hear your thoughts about rumination of physical compulsions as well as overthinking about tasks I am doing. Thanks for your videos!!

[@SummitMan165]

Very good advices !

[@mattli911]

I really really gotta stop that as well...... it just sucks, haha. Good video / something I needed to see again.

[@ewadziatkowska1059]

Thank you ,greetings from Poland

[@teresa1710]

Perfect timing 😊

[@DogFishTVChannel]

Just left a 17 yr marriage to a CN/BPD Have my teen daughter. Doing some Alanon and looking for an affordable Narc recovery group. Broke, Ruminating, determined my kid won't suffer anymore.

[@Noah_Pender]

Thanks Stephanie. I've been waking up at 3 AM and having conversations between my wife and I and thinking there is something I haven't said that will fix her and then imagine what I'd say and what I'd want her to say. It's hard to accept that it's just over because of the cheating, abuse, lack of empathy, and gaslighting. I love this person and it's just so difficult to let go, especially when she has already moved on to someone else even though we're still married but separated. I hate blaming myself even though I know I'm only 50% of this relationship.

[@buzzcutart8501]

I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this! Please find a therapist, there’s many options available at home or in person. Even affordable or free options if you ask different offices. I also recommend Dr John Delony’s videos, he has callers who talk about exactly this situation and how to get through it. I believe you can do it! You deserve a happy life. Take care.

[@KateMac-h7p]

Love your work! Thank you!

[@reneelovitz2676]

Thanks for your insightful video! It will help me with my problem of ruminating on a bad situation. I have to figure it out and let it go. Thank you!!

[@lingram5407]

Not in Portland! Underthinking is the problem here!

[@MyFreeLife111]

❤ You are so intelligent ❤

[@steelearmstrong9616]

My own brain manipulates my own brain. I’m in denial about being in denial. Love is anxiety. Attachment is suffering. Life is suffering. In the end nothing matters. We are all on the same sinking boat that inevitably ends in tragedy. If everyone truly knew what everyone was thinking then no one would have any friends and relationships would not be a thing

[@tanyabaughn3639]

Right!! That’s why we need Jesus! He won’t let the ship sink…. He walks on water!!!☮️💟✝️

[@kavishinde2970]

Thank you for this video🙏 it was very important for me❤

[@andreab.1943]

Me rumintating ... about ex-job and narcisstic, almost sociopathic ex-boss .... for a very long time every new job interview was like pushing me into this trauma again: "Why did you quit this job back then?" Now I did learn to be as honest as possible and not overstepping (regulatory?) boundaries by giving an accusatory answer. "It was a toxic work environment/leadership and I did experience mobbing." Sometimes it is like a dance on a tightrope. How much honesty can our society tolerate when there are - unfortunately - so many narcissists in leadership positions? I understand people wanting to get self-employed....

[@irinapopa1343]

I'm stuck in acceptance. How do you practice acceptance that your parents are emotionally immature and can't love you the way you need? Amazing video Stephanie ❤

[@cup_o_TMarie]

Oh I get this one🙈 What helps me with things like this is to think “what will be the result of me being in resistance to this reality?” The resistance to actual reality will keep me powerless & in pain. And it’s super important to remember that acceptance doesn’t mean that you condone or like the reality. It’s simply full acceptance of a reality that you usually have no control over . If I accept it, I can work on dealing with it through what I DO have control over. I have control over how I live my life & what kind of healthy boundaries I need around these situations. Also radical acceptance of ALL the truths regarding the people or situation. So it might sound like “My Mom is a decent hearted person who sometimes has done decent things for me, BUT for the most part she is dismissive of my emotions & needs and therefore is an emotionally unsafe person.” The acceptance of their inability to be a safe place for you emotionally will allow you to stop sharing your emotions or life details with them. Or trying to have your needs met from them. There is grief involved in this because you’ll need to grieve the healthy relationship you should have had with them. This way you don’t try to see things as all good or all bad. As few things are. This black & white thinking can keep you on a treadmill of back & forth. I hope this can be of some help🙏🤍

[@3mindgame]

Nice!!!

[@Mike_Cosentino]

Thank you..

[@shannon9764]

Thank you I will apply ❤

[@CasualPower9]

Meditation really helps with this

[@sashad.7722]

I don't consider myself very logical. But rumination, overthinking, etc. are my go-to strategies because of emotionally immature and all over the place parents.

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

That will cause you to overthink for sure!

[@paulohlsson27]

Hi Sasha, how's your day going with you?

[@user-ks8nz4yw7q]

I could control my feelings,feelings come from thoughts i couid control my thoughts.

[@emmsue1053]

Hit the nail on the head.. WHY??

[@cleo1074]

thank you so much

[@Commonsense1223]

First of all thank you so much. Can you please explain more about getting over situation but having hard time letting go .Give us more examples and how to practice it

[@strawberry_lacroix]

How do you accept and move forward in life without the answers, closure, and understanding you’re looking for? I have a hard time with this and I don’t even know where to begin.

[@lingram5407]

Calm, meditative awareness first. Then think through the problem.

[@roystrandberg2091]

I have a close family member that has spent the last 10 or more years ruminating on past events. It is painful to watch this person waste their life in a state of anger, sadness and shame. I can’t count how many times I’ve said “forgive yourself,” “give yourself a break,” or “your anger/sadness does nothing to change the past, so try to focus on the future,” and other similar comments, to no avail usually

[@lucybraun8969]

The problem I run into is people who don't think things through at all. They just wing their way through everything. They don't listen, and get things wrong!

[@triciadreas9835]

They are looking for way out and since there's a logic, it will not help

[@toluene21]

trauma = incessant ruminating

[@TimelessEnchantments]

I've been an overthinker since I was a teenager.

[@wilsonsouza3972]

You are stunning ❤❤❤

[@HANZELVANDERLAAY]

Nice looking woman..and helpful..cheers in 2024🎉

[@Andy-mm2us]

I have been ruminating for five years. My brain keeps trying to make sense of a situation that has no sense or logic to it. I keep trying to make it make sense but there is none to be had. Logically I know what’s happening but I am caught in this trauma response of reacting to the little jabs that are aimed in my direction.

[@nothing-b2n]

No

[@wise999]

6 years I been ruminating since the fallout betrayal

[@lauriemtz8616]

I’ve known for a good while that I’m not supposed to overthink ruminate futurizing , etc. but I need help with the how

[@dan72ism]

Dint Aggree with people like it

[@shawn1995.]

I'm not advocating anyone do weed but when I smoked just a little bit is when I'd kinda figure out alot of stuff after that it just exacerbated my Stockholm syndrome and I forgot how horrible my family is so I went through their smear campaign and now most of the reasons I ruminate are from triggers and shoulda coulda wouldas😂

[@dianeforpeece8166]

Stephanie, been listening to you FOR YEARS(name has changed post divorce). Love your advice & videos . Not a fan of canned video actors during videos :(

[@coreycormier-ut8mu]

Going through my divorce. My ex wife coming out.....100% addicted to ruminating. Hard to get out of. 😢

[@orahgeralds1544]

I have a problem I don't why I have failed to move on from my x.i think about him constantly 😕. I need help

[@johnstone3836]

👍👍

[@Malekfahad420]

Hey Stephanie, really nice video ! I was wondering if I could help you with Best Quality Editing in your videos better than your Editor with good pricing and also make a highly engaging Thumbnail which will help your videos to reach to a wider audience ? Pls let me know what do you think ?

[@jeanaallison7236]

❤️‍🩹

[@taniavallorani9336]

First 😊

[@colleenvaught6829]

This behavior is also a sign of neurodivergent brains, among other causes. Please seek Professional therapy/diagnosis if this issue affects your life or happiness.

[@josereyes1148]

Is writing long text messages responses in preparation for their future contact ruminating? Lol

[@noturbo]

yep when i have had enough pain i will surrender to how life is for me today and i am not doing so well i had a huge panic attack today havnt had one like that for 10+ years i need to accept a whole pile of stuff about my life and i dont like any of it, so broken i dont want to be human i never have so weak and feeble

[@cosmicyogi5148]

What makes you an expert? Just curious 🤔

[@Erick-di9gm]

Yeah I wish youtoobers would display their credentials or talk about what makes them an expert at the beginning.

[@Amberlynnslivertit]

I can tell she’s a therapist