STOP Trying To Be Consistent With ADHD

STOP Trying To Be Consistent With ADHD | Fail Upwards Instead

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Күн бұрын

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@BeUltranormal 11 ай бұрын

👋🏻Hey everyone! Hope you enjoyed this video! Let me know if you struggle with the idea of failure as an ADHDer! 👇🏻 And don't forget to join us on the free Focus Bootcamp! ---> be.ultranormal.co/focus-bootcamp - Chris

@AstridPerellon 4 ай бұрын

'You can be successful without consistency' was when I hit the suscribe button😮

@BeUltranormal 4 ай бұрын

🤗 Thank you for subscribing :)

@hyacinthdibley2420 3 ай бұрын

I was just reading your comment when he said it.

@shobe071592 3 ай бұрын

I entered a relationship with an ADHD'er knowing that he'll be consistently inconsistent.😅😂 He brought out something good in me and I love him more for that. I figured I have to equip myself with knowledge on how to navigate how his mind works in a way that won't burn me out as well. NT here. 😁

@BeUltranormal 3 ай бұрын

What an awesome partner, cultivating that compatibility requires time and effort but the payoff is always always worth it. :)

@goldengirl5165 3 ай бұрын

I am working on that as well! 😊 I am a NT by the way. I am not giving up.

@CG-lf8st 3 ай бұрын

I appreciate the concept, but I'm ADHD and very inconsistent but also very persistent. And unfortunately, regardless, I have hit a limit low on the ladder in my career because I can't bring the consistency and time management abilities needed to be seen good at my job. I think persisting at a career that wasn't a good match for me to begin with has caused me to waste years and thousands of dollars of study. Sometimes accepting failure and not persisting is better.

@BeUltranormal 3 ай бұрын

I never believe in "should" or "shouldn't", so when people make the choice to walk away from things that are difficult or challenging, I totally get it. At the end of the day there will always be an 'easier' option in all cases (careers, relationships etc...), and when choosing to swap to that there will always be pros and cons to it. If you choose to persist, great! You get to have the pros that comes with a long term career in something you want to be part of, but with the con that it's difficult. If you choose to change, great! You get to avoid that discomfort, but at the con of walking away from a career that fulfilled you. As long as you take learning lessons from whichever direction you choose. I'd say don't convince yourself that you *couldn't* do it, instead just admit that you *chose not to* then I think that's the key point I'd make.

@unclemick-synths 3 ай бұрын

Is there a way you can put all that training to good use? It might not be the same role but either a similar field or maybe a different field where those skills/knowledge can be put to use?

@Moonlight35-h9i 3 ай бұрын

Learning what is not right for you is just as important as learning what is right for you. I'd call the lesson you've learned a success, rather than a failure. There's lessons everywhere, if we learn to look for them :)

@KarlLind 4 ай бұрын

Thank you! We need to hear this, not only hear it but internalize and continue to practice it.

@BeUltranormal 4 ай бұрын

🤗 Thank you!

@ainomav6527 9 ай бұрын

my boyfriend says he in consistelty inconsistent, the myth you describe... we both quit smoking, we smoke everyonce and then. i consider i have quit smoking, even though i sometimes have a smoke or more . i myself decided and told him the adhd , that as long as i/ we smoke less , a massive amount less and do not continue that's is great . then if we regress so what. it is still a win. instead of thinking: oh i smoked one i fucked up, ill start again. ppl who i told i quit see me smoking very rarely now , if anyone asks didn't you quit? i say i did. im having a bad day. eating lets say "healthy" rings different in anyone, if that means only eating a salad a day then u are set up for failure. id call that mindset. wasn't easy for me either i learnt, or better said, made myself learn to do it. what is your advise for adhd folks to not act out learned helplesness? hardly any person is totally consistent , for real... its mega hard for everyone. not to take away the specific challenges for adhd ppl cause now i know more from learned experience compared to any article i read.

@BeUltranormal 9 ай бұрын

Zero people are 100% consistent. Environment has the biggest impact on any single person. For example, like yourself, you forgive yourself for smoking because you are having a bad day. You don't consider yourself a smoker, but you did it because of the environment. So, any advice I'd give is to set up your environment for success. If you have urges to do something that you don't want to do, don't aim for perfection, simply aim for 'better', growing in the right direction is *much* more important than getting it right first time. As a partner, encourage behavior you want to see rather than punish the behavior you don't. If you punish behavior, then it adds to the negative environment and increases the likelihood of failure.

@moosicalapocalypse9870 3 ай бұрын

This reminds me of Elizabeth Filips and Dr K's strategies, so I know the channel would be a goldmine lol. Waiting for ur next videos on ADHD executive function 🙏

@BeUltranormal 3 ай бұрын

Wow! That is extremely high praise, thank you so much for the kind words.

@hadyanmhd 3 ай бұрын

continuing despite, love that!

@BeUltranormal 3 ай бұрын

🎉🎉

@KyrieQHD 5 ай бұрын

this hits hard! I made a video about consistency with adhd and after watching this I realized how bad my video was lol😂

@BeUltranormal 5 ай бұрын

lol. Dude your videos are great! We'd all love to be more consistent, but when it becomes zero-sum (ie. win/lose) then we'll set ourselves up to lose more often than not. I'd rather be someone who falls 499 times and gets up 500 times than someone who gets 80% of the way there, falls once and gives up. Keep going brother :)

@KyrieQHD 5 ай бұрын

I mean that's an amazing point and I never looked at it from this angle, and now I'm rethinking my whole life in terms of if my "not being consistent failures" were actually failures So thank you so much for this video!

@BeUltranormal 5 ай бұрын

🫶🏻♥️

@learntothrivewithadhd 3 ай бұрын

Very good. I agree persistency is more important than consistency.

@BeUltranormal 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for the kind words!! I think I've come across your videos in the past, thanks so much for stopping by :)

@alexandraperezdeagreda326 11 ай бұрын

Wow! Burned out Au'DHD'er here; Just discovered your channel (& subscribed, before the end of the video)! I must say: your explanation of my conflation of consistency with success feels eerily accurate! And how I beat myself up about "falling off the wagon", to the point of "throwing in the towel", entirely - with ironically unfailing consistency!😬🤦🏻‍♀️😰 I've been hearing a similar message/tagline (to the effect of: "if fall off wagon, get back on") from many other sources irl & corners of the interweb for quite some time, without ever really being able to register it to my own understanding... But somehow, the way you discuss it here, actually linked to the underlying context of why I seem to be failing (or rather, *believe* I am)...just...suddenly, made sense! So thank you, and I hope you don't mind my saving this video to a notes-file, for further reference, & discussion with my therapist.😅🤓👌👍🙏

@BeUltranormal 11 ай бұрын

Hey, thanks for the comment and kind words! I've been in the exact same position before, for sure. We believe we're failing, so our motivation disappears and we give up, then we look back and think "well, look at all the times I thought I was failing and I was right!" and it hugely impacts our self-esteem, right? It takes a mindset shift to start seeing things in a different way, for sure. I'm super happy this resonated with you and love that you're bringing the topic into therapy lol, therapy and coaching changed my life, so I always love when people go down that same path. Great to meet you!

@karlaa5977 3 ай бұрын

Isn't it funny (nice) how the universe will keep sending us the same message sometimes, until we finally "hear" it? 😉💚

@CoffeeCup1346 Ай бұрын

The gap between what’s good and achievable for humans, and what we expect of them as required of work culture, is the big elephant in every room. We’re just getting started in that regard.

@BeUltranormal 23 күн бұрын

Yeah, the environment is not optimal for that at this moment in time.

@brandydinsmore8214 3 ай бұрын

Some act like being consistent is the same as being responsible, but it isn’t. If being responsible is being able to respond, we can respond to a problem by working out a strategy for that problem. But it doesn’t mean we have to still be doing that strategy after the problem is solved. Plus, the next problem is likely to need a different strategy. So as long as you can respond by finding or recalling some strategies that worked, you can do what needs to be done. That is what is required of us. No one gives us an award for doing the same thing every day. And it wears us with adhd down and can bore us to death while also being irrelevant while no problem is in process of being solved.

@BeUltranormal 2 ай бұрын

bingo!

@meropale 3 ай бұрын

When I see that there are other people who suffer as I do, or who have the same struggles, I feel less alone in the world. Thinking you are the only one who goes through something is a heavy burden to carry.

@BeUltranormal 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for your thoughtful comment, and yes I absolutely feel the same way. After all as humans what we ultimately want to feel is connected with others and to feel that they share the same experiences as us. You're never alone in your experience :)

@JessRus-kt2xr 3 ай бұрын

I was diagnosed right after kindergarten. When one of my high school English teachers thought she was helping by giving me a “roller-coaster” award, telling me all I needed was to be more consistent with my progress, I just couldn’t make her understand how insulting and hurtful it was for someone like me. A decade later, Im still struggling with the idea that my inconsistency leaves me with no capitalistic options. I can honestly say my greatest success has been persisting in a relationship with lots of childhood trauma between us, and behind us.

@BeUltranormal 2 ай бұрын

Great work! Persistence > consistency

@20bluecloud09 10 ай бұрын

Such great content! Thank you

@BeUltranormal 10 ай бұрын

Hey! Thanks for checking it out! Lemme know what you'd like me to cover in the future!

@rayrayhazelnut 2 ай бұрын

Thank you for this wake up call! ❤ I'm sure I've had ADHD my whole life but I wasn't diagnosed until i was 27 years old. currently back in school for my bachelors and it's been a challenge when all the study motivation videos, etc. scream at you to be consistent, when they should be screaming persistence! so thanks again, really needed this today 😊

@BeUltranormal 2 ай бұрын

Thank you so much! Keep going, keep growing!!