Stop Trying to be Happy (do THIS instead)

[@braincraft]

*r u content?*

[@adolfodef]

You MUST show us the *actual recipe* for THAT specific "pie". -> I know it is not a "happiness" pie. I just want to cut the same type of real pie in that way... and eat it too!

[@AkankshaSingh-hx4db]

YES! Very. I think strong community and gratitude is it!

[@TravisGilbert]

6:11I 100% related! I just had a huge jump in subs and I stuck between contentment and pursuing more

[@pulseworks1663]

I'm not and I don't think I will be and right now I don't want to be. If I'm content what's my motivation to change or improve? I have made it a point in my life to be discontent with how things are so I actually do things.

[@themacocko6311]

The PURSUIT of happiness leads to emptiness.

[@Jules_Diplopia]

The happiness that you describe, is basically consumerism. The having of things. Problem is that things don't last. They get old and out of date or they get broken or stolen or they die. Instead yes seek contentment. It sound easy, but is a lot harder than you might think. Stocism the base from which Minfulness comes is a great idea. Practicing it every day is harder. But if you can switch your minset, then you can be content with what you have, so what if your neighbour has better this or that. They just have more things to loose.

[@Mr_Penguins_Pet_Human]

This ⬆️ Confusing pleasure with true fulfilling happiness and contentment is, unfortunately a common mistake.

[@franklinruan3807]

“What really frightens and dismays us is not external events themselves, but the way in which we think about them. It is not things that disturb us, but our interpretation of their significance.” -Epictetus

[@LizBrousseau]

YAS!!!!! 👏 THIS is really what we need there is SO MUCH around us we are forgetting to look at everyday!

[@ImperiaGin]

As someone with depression, I find the little things in life fulfilling and has given me a different outlook on life. Plus my friends and other loved ones are just supportive and honest. All I really think about is I am okay, I am alive and I have people who love me

it's been years since KZbin recommended one of your videos, I now remember why I subscribed in the first place.

[@braincraft]

❤️

[@gautampassi3863]

*"What makes me happy? "* A new upload from Vanessa🧠

[@StigDesign]

Makes me smile every time :D

[@-.leah.-]

This may be why she says "beautiful subscribers"

[@gautampassi3863]

@@StigDesign Same goes for me :D

[@gautampassi3863]

@@-.leah.- haha, absolutely yes.

[@LizBrousseau]

AHHHHHHhhhhhh! that is a kind comment!

[@therealdave06]

Watch CGPGrey's "7 ways to maximise misery", then do the opposite

[@LizBrousseau]

Will do! Sounds interesting thanks for the tip!

[@a_wild_Kirillian]

Doing the opposite often becomes just another goal. It's like a protest of usual goals. Although I don't know what recommended video says on the topic

[@sufiyanadam]

"Hey Vsauce, Michael here! Today I'm feeling so happy or am I? Let's find out if you're happy. But first, what defines happiness? Or what is sadness? If I am happy can I be sad too simultaneously? To answer this question, I'll take you to a superbowl stadium."

[@Kalleosini]

this comment made me happy haha

[@sufiyanadam]

@@Kalleosini Or did it?

[@JKTCGMV13]

Is this a real quote? Because it feels like it is

[@braincraft]

Super User is Michael's alias

[@sufiyanadam]

@@braincraft Ghost script writer! 👻 (no, I'm not)

[@Hollowz11]

that pie looks so delicious, looking at it gives me happiness so much

[@IceSpoon]

I knew I wasn't the only one hahaha

[@zidaryn]

I want pie. I'm going to get pie.

[@sbb71791]

@@IceSpoon my cat stepped on the screen and decided that I need to reply to you even though I haven't read your comment. Klaus says hi I guess.

[@ConsciousAtoms]

Hi, I'm coming here from Tom Scott's channel, this is my first video of yours that I am watching, it's great! I'm right now in the process of buying a car, and for the same reasons you give in your intro. And now I'm learning that that will not make me happy ...

[@Kalleosini]

some collection of atoms wont make you happy, you know this deep down, what makes you happy is positive experiences

[@adotam]

@@Kalleosini and a car is actually really great for making new positive experiences (travel)

[@Kalleosini]

@@adotam you can travel without a car

[@adotam]

@@Kalleosini Yes, you can, but as Vanessa said, it gives you more freedom.

[@Kalleosini]

@@adotam depends on your perspective, freedom to move perhaps, but it comes with all the things she also mentioned which are like the opposite of freedom, also traffic jams.

[@wouterfaes2309]

Tom got me here! Love it

[@samannaydas3847]

5:44 Asking what makes us content in a youtube video also called as content, while I am being content by learning things from this content

[@braincraft]

you're in a content factory

[@LizBrousseau]

i see what you did there!

[@LizBrousseau]

I am *ABOUT* happiness....and simple happiness...there is so much focused on happiness from consumption and this is a monster that can NOT be feed!!! As a youtuber I REALLY relate to the subscriber comment...I try to encourage people to focus on *community* when growing! Really really great!

[@KnowingBetter]

You wasted a blank tile on a T?!

[@bwickham195]

Asking the real questions!

[@michael8815]

Nope - it was Convent ;)

[@josh34578]

Find happiness by playing scrabble, not by winning scrabble.

[@michael8815]

@@josh34578 Winning at scrabble is all about utilising tactics and blocking the other player. I prefer playing to see who can get the best words...

[@TheDhammaHub]

If you actively try to be happy, you set yourself up for failure. The attachments to things are what creates unhappiness. If you cling to the "wanting of happiness", you scare it away like a shy bird

[@SaucerJess]

Great video as always! Also, happy brain aneurysm awareness month! This November will be my 5 year survival date / aneurversary. Sending love ❤️

[@braincraft]

Wow, completely badass! Happy awareness month ❤️

[@TravisGilbert]

Wonderful video! Thank you

[@alanreader4815]

Tom Scott sent me here.

[@braincraft]

🙌 🙌 🙌

[@fpruijt1976]

I got here trough tom scots game show disconnected (Congrats on the victory). And I really like that you made most / all of your "stock footage" yourself. It is refreshing compared to others that use the generic versions.

[@harriehausenman8623]

Can't wait for season 2 of *disconnected*

[@l...]

Contentment is a treasure forever

[@Huwarf]

I found your channel through Tom Scott and DISCONNECTED. I used to pursue happiness but I found myself never actually happy. Over the years I, subconsciously, started to be grateful for what I have and I started to feel better. I had never heard about contentment before this video but I would say that I do feel content sometimes. When I drift away from contentment I always think about what makes me grateful and that helps a lot.

[@leebridenstine2806]

I'm thankful for your very helpful and insightful videos :)

[@FuncleChuck]

Congratulations on your performance on Disconnected!

[@SmartMass]

You beat me, mate! Congrats Vanessa on making it to the Champions of Champions match and going for the win! kzbin.info/www/bejne/rnqno2ikbrp8iJY

[@braincraft]

Thank you!!!

[@harriehausenman8623]

That show is great fun! I hope for a season 2 of *disconnected* :-) And I really like the _Edutisement_ break in the middle.

[@PeihuiBrandonYeo]

[spoiler alert]

[@Friendship1nmillion]

@@braincraft 😲 {watching this from Sydney Australia, don't know if you're still in the U.S} *THIS IS NEWS TO ME* .

[@abyssoftus]

Acceptance, Gratitude, Goals being worked on, Connectedness equals happiness to me.

[@AlfredJacobMohan]

I think it is better to be extremely curious than to be extremely happy. Because happiness takes us to a place and then leaves us there. It has a destination and we know it. However, if I am extremely curious it takes me to places where I would have NEVER thought to go. When I am curious, I don't KNOW what to expect at all. Well, curious for the right reasons. Am I wrong?

[@vysop2560]

I'm not happy seeing how underrated this channel is.

[@seanferney3621]

My car is an old van that I had to replace a bunch of engine gaskets on before I could use it. Never the less, it makes me smile. It's more or less grown on me.

[@arcanics1971]

Congratulations on your win of Disconnected. My own view on happiness is that it is not something that can be maintained. I was part of research into autistic people and our emotional well-being and many of us defined "happiness" as the absence of anxiety. Absence of anxiety seems a much better metric for judging whether one is in a good place mentally than the elusive and nebulous "happiness."

[@arcanics1971]

For clarity, what I am calling absence of anxiety may well be synonymous with contentment as defined in the video.

[@Jakey4000]

Aww hell yeah, dot journals are the best.

[@MrMilosv]

Great outlook on what is happiness made of and nice that you compared the two poles of happiness (eastern and western cultures)! I have just recently subscribed but love your videos, please do not stop :)

[@notgate2624]

Being mindful just dissociates me. I need to be less introspective and just embrace roboticism, so the idea of whether I'm happy or not doesn't cross my mind. That's where I agree with 'grounding' tasks such as playing games with people or working hard.

[@AkankshaSingh-hx4db]

My trick is to have goals, be serious about them, but actually enjoying the pursuit, not the goal itself. If I want to get fit,I would find enjoyment in the process- exercise and good food, not the end.... Throw in some gratitude, privilege and luck: bam happiness

[@batchampa]

Found you from Disconnected but I'm looking forward to seeing more of your content. I live with depression, ADHD and anxiety and all complicated by chronic pain. Happiness is hard for me to find, but I treasure it when I do.

[@Urspo]

You do a fine job I am glad you do this. Happiness is based on being content with who you are and what you have.

[@MacKenzieOfSweden]

Im a a happy person no matter the situation, but it looks like i'm actually content and that makes me happy to know that im closer to normal.

[@DanTheRobertson]

That dog gave me a feeling of happiness.

[@bobair2]

I tried to eat the happiness pie but it gave me heartburn so now I just go out and enjoy the natural world instead. Happiness is anything that is calming at least to me be it the sound of rain,wind or flowing water,those things and bird song and almost all natural things can give me a contented or happy feeling that eludes me in an urban setting.

[@AthAthanasius]

I'm loving the little touches in this video like the reference to meditation not working for everyone and acting out such a scene :) .

[@malaytripathi]

Here from Tom Scott ! I was rooting for you since the beginning. Great job brainy girl

[@braincraft]

Yayy thank you!

[@cristianbacu4010]

I, for one, I just need a home in the mountains and a woman like you to talk to me all day long about psychological issues, whilst I make wood furniture in my workshop and enjoy her courses quietly. That would be life!

[@Vidmir69]

I have found happiness through finding spiritual depth

[@friendlytalbot4050]

So it's official: I'm genetically unhappy.

[@MacKenzieOfSweden]

Nope, you are simply not content :)

[@friendlytalbot4050]

@@MacKenzieOfSweden Haha, that is true.

[@michaelbarker4832]

Really appreciated this video and aligns with a few thoughts I was having prior to watching. I think a lot of people, especially students or recent graduates put too much pressure on themselves to achieve a goal (i.e. become a manager, earn $X dollars) before they can start 'living'. I used to see life in two stages, "prep" and "living". Prep is what you need to do before you can start living/being happy (I.e. Study, reach a job level, home ownership) and we would accept being unhappy now because we think we will be happy once "prep" time is over. This video goes to show that the time to be content and find fulfillment is NOW because if we can't find it in the present, we won't find it in the future. Life prep is over, it's now time to start living! Thanks for the video Vanessa 😊

[@psychologyis]

Viktor Frankl said the pursuit of happiness is self defeating. Happiness should ENSUE from a meaningful life.

[@Melecie]

what makes many people extremely happy is a certain youtuber winning the final round of tom scott's disconnected and plugging her channel in the end card, leading even more people here to know how to be happy. congratulations!

[@1198365]

Is there any chance of getting a little compilation of Vanessa talking about 'the doobelly doo' somewhere it always makes me happy and brings a little bit of calmness/soothing to me as it pops in to my head for the next few days

[@hudsonbakke8836]

On the other hand, focusing on peace and content in the present can have serious and harmful effects. It can lead to a phenomenon known as learned helplessness, whereby people accept a poor situation and grow content with it, which leads them to ignore opportunities to make it better. The true secret, in my opinion, is a mix of both. Simultaneously one must be content, but also constantly strive for more. Believe that everything is under your control, so that even if it is not, you will properly take advantage of when it is.

[@els1f]

Loving-kindness meditation (it's in the description) is so helpful! It's amazing what sewage can be swirling around in your head without you REALLY knowing. Practicing the feeling of extending love and compassion for 20 or so minutes is really powerful. Especially when the world is designed to make you practice anxiety, fear, and callousness the rest of the time❤️😊

[@ObeySilence]

I would go even as far to say that happiness as something to persued is not necessarily a Western thing but specifically a American-British project. In Germany for example there is no such word as happiness, there happiness is equated with luck/ Glück. So its something that happens to you without contributing. I also feel in Germany people much seldomly use ther passive version of happiness than English speakers use the word happiness. When talking about a pleasant state of mind that can be pursued they will talk about being at piece/ Zufriedenheit which is some type of contentment.

[@ammalyrical5646]

In the Netherlands as well, although geluk/Gluek and gelukkig/Glueklich aren't exactly the same thing. Zufrieden/tevreden/content. It translates to the same thing. And I think you're right. It almost seems like the happiness Americans strive for in a perpetual state of euphoria, which isn't realistic or healthy by any means. The Pressure the society puts on the people there to smile through everything as much as possible is sickening (I've genuinely heard anecdotes from Mormon missionaries that went home with severe depression and the family complained about them losing face instead of helping their child. In other words, those children are more or less forced into a perpetual state of fake happiness and never learn how to properly talk about their emotions with loved ones).

[@alarcon99]

Thank you both for these comments. So interesting!

[@mohamednassar42]

I hope we all find happiness and content in our lives. Thank you Vanessa 🎈

[@sonnypurwanto]

Came here from Disconnected. U have got a new subscriber

[@erikziak1249]

Or just be unhappy until you realize that factors that you thought of as being essential to your happiness are not under your control, so you do not to care anymore. I expect the worst and am so happy when it does not happen. Like mostly every time. That is so nice.

[@vmpage01]

I love it. Great video sis.

[@kibrika]

"Doobleedoo", what a throwback :)

[@telltalekatie]

Once i found that contentment then i threw it all away, now i feel miserable, i have to find it again. Lesson learned.

[@sethdavis4382]

Getting out into nature is the one thing that consistently makes me happy. From personal experience, I would suggest moving out of the big city if you struggle with happiness. My fishing boat was one of the most fulfilling purchases I've ever made, and i don't even care for fishing all that much.

[@TheGoblinoid]

This channel is a force of good. Also, congrats for winning in Disconnected.

[@mattdonlan7745]

Happiness is a marketing gimmick used to get people to buy stuff they don’t need in order to make them feel better about themselves. Contentment and joy are overarching feelings that will go along way to bringing you peace of mind. Happiness is a feeling, peace of mind is a state of being.

[@JinRupeeland]

Great video, I really needed the tips today!

[@atakankeskin9948]

Making people laugh and caring animals makes me happy. Except these, I'm not sad actually, but not happy either :')

[@kishoresubramani1309]

Vanessa please do a video about OCD( obsessive compulsive disorder).Life is like a hell with this thing.i hope you will do it.

[@naruto.boruto_edt]

This is awesome. Happiness and contentment

[@SonicHawk90]

Great video! Thanx for uploading!

[@akshaychauhan4346]

Me trying to be happy and saw this video and got happy cuz I saw venessa.

[@lucasizquierdo9595]

I've never seen how cool her eyes are, idk if its just this video

[@danielricardobarrero5045]

Now I know that the key to my happiness is being able to make that pie for myself!

[@cassafrasscubby460]

Thank you for the reminder!

[@SalsadArte]

Happiness is the right balance between pleasure and achievent in life. This is what I have found. Just achievement: you work and don’t enjoy anything. Just pleasure: your life is shallow.

[@marcusrosales3344]

I'd think being happy is both within and what you pursue. Felling you are living a meaningful life by achieving goals just seems important to me. Hobbies for instance: I like progressing and getting better at them and this makes me feel good. I am pursuing progression here.

[@Piexus_]

This video made me happy, thanks for the advice, have a great week!

[@pushuppoppies8718]

Great video and so true! I like using the app "Am Mindfulness" for meditation training because it lets me see how every meditation affects my stress, and stress is something that I've noticed correlates closely with my happiness. You know the song? Doooo do do...don't worry, be happy...

[@TheRaidstar]

Very glad I found this video today

[@katelefante]

I'm grateful for this video 💜

[@themacocko6311]

The pursuit of happiness is a road that most definitely leads somewhere, but it the opposite of happiness.

[@adotam]

Some wise young lady once told me it's not that I want to be happy, rather I don't want to be unhappy

[@batchampa]

I feel like I have to find moments of happiness because being always in pain makes any moment have some element of discontentment

[@datafoxy]

This is s great video for these days.

[@LizBrousseau]

Truth!

[@IceSpoon]

"Inside Out" (yeah, the Pixar movie) blew my mind when I saw it some years ago. It taught me that's unhealthy to be happy, and that is necessary, refreshing, helpful and even healthy to be sad. Perhaps SUPER sad and cry until your pillow is soaking wet. But just like in the movie: you have to do something with that feeling. My grandpa died a while later. I didn't feel sad, I felt grief. And for those of you who have also felt that emotion, you understand it's a completely different world from "just being sad". According to Wikipedia, there are 69 (hehe, nice) emotions: jealousy, awkwardness, pride, pity, euphoria are all catalogued as emotions, even some that don't exist in western languages like the japanese "mono no aware". I think it's important to realise when you're not "feeling happy" but another positive emotion, so you can explain to yourself what's happening and what you want to (not) do with said emotion. The same happens with what perceive as negative emotions. For instance, anger is something we don't want to feel very often, but it's the engine of revolutions and feeling angry about (for instance) the state of the world is a great motivation to get up and do something about it. Emotions are complicated and very personal, and I feel western societies have done a mistake in reducing the matter in "are you (un)happy?" because it is much more than that.

[@edb7121]

Happiness is an inside job, but a piece of pie would certainly hit the spot right now!

[@tofolcano9639]

I feel like happiness is like sleeping, it goes by so fast, you're not sure what happened right before you fell asleep that allowed you to fall asleep, and you need it from time to time to rest but you have to quit it too to experience reality and survive... But you'd also die without it. Some people have bad "sleeping" habits or insomnia, others "sleep" most of their lives away. Either way I think that's okay, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just don't be too happy all the time if you can avoid it, and the opposite of that is bad too, I think.

[@Ravie1]

Still disappointed this wasn't a pumpkin pie making video. Guess i'll learn to be content with what I have, thanks for the info

[@aaronb2686]

Drawing is my meditation, and a way to work through internal conflict

[@kjamison5951]

I was content until about 8 weeks ago. I say content, I was blissfully ignorant of my situation. I'm questioning everything and with the people who could help me in lockdown, I'm going to have to force myself to become blissfully ignorant again.

[@523101997]

I just imagine if people were just content where we would be now. Poverty rate is at an all time low, child mortality is at an all time low etc and they didn't occur just from people being content.

[@harriehausenman8623]

Massive congratulations to the *Champion* *of* *Chamions* ! Well played and the finale was so much fun.

[@messaniabdelaziz4245]

Nothing dear and great, like feeling happy. Useful and wonderful video🥀🌹💛🌻

[@DarkAngelEU]

Your clothes in this video are amazing. They look so comfy!

[@terencechan405]

Love you!!! Thanks for the advice:) Another great video

[@braincraft]

❤️

[@xgetxsickx]

It's the pursuit that is the happiness.

[@PHDiaz-vv7yo]

2:44 that was “gene-ius” Seriously, I might just subscribe (beautifully)- owing to social anxiety, depression, identity, dealing with patients and family bereavement I’ve started looking into stoicism “Comparison is the theft of joy” T. Roosevelt

[@nick_czarny]

Great video Vanessa

[@SoVidushi]

Im saving this on my phone for later, thankyou!

[@imnotabot.]

The thing with mindfulness in the situation I am is that I don't want to. I just don't want to acknowledge those horrible thoughts I'm having and the feelings I'm experiencing. It is extremely hard to accept them when their only goal is to hurt me. I'm just a little messed up hehe

[@malice_wonderland]

Mistake #1: You need a FUN CAR ! I bought a new Miata last summer (in my favourite colour) and it gives me great joy each time I take it out for a relaxing driving in the evenings. Time to trade in that 4-door bore-mobile! ;)

[@restonthewind]

We lead our lives between distractions, always seeking satisfaction, only finding when we've tried, 'tis life to be dissatisfied.

[@rpetti]

I used to agonize over "maximizing" my "happiness". Just trying to be happy made me absolutely miserable. Then I read a peculiar little comic (yeah I know) from the Oatmeal called "How to be perfectly unhappy". Since then I've given up that pursuit of happiness and instead started pursuing things that were interesting, engaging and meaningful to me. I'm now more content with my life now than I ever was!

[@dtibor5903]

I'm happy if I am busy with something passionate about. Now I make silly simple 3D designs and 3D prints. I do DIY stuff. I do photography. I watch "relaxing" videos on youtube, I mean those without stress. Most tech, science, podcast channels are stress free.

[@VooDooley]

I just subbed because you won Tom Scotts game show, well done.

[@psora1]

Inside Out already showed us that the eternal pursuit of happiness makes more harm than good ❤️ The secret is in the balance

[@akhil6095]

You didn't get disconnected from the tower... Congratulations 🎉

[@braincraft]

Thank you :D

[@harriehausenman8623]

Yes, it was a great finale!

[@sodacan2594]

Happiness is a state of mind. Just like feeling bored is a state of mind. It's not gold or money. It's not even success. Happiness is simply living for now for this very moment and not the past or the future. Notice what is around you right now and find a way to enjoy it. Happiness is not something you pursue - it is something you open yourself up to.