Stop Trying to Get It And You'll Have It | The Backwards Law

The backwards law proposes that the more we pursue something, the more we achieve the opposite of what we truly want and the more disappointed we feel. Or simply put: the harder we try, the less likely we’ll succeed. On the flip side: when we stop trying, we’ll have what we want.
Now, how exactly does this backwards law work in practice? Or more specifically: how exactly do we get what we want, by not trying to get what we want? This video explores the backwards law and its paradoxical nature, as well as the cause of our ongoing dissatisfaction in life, and how we can liberate ourselves from it.
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00:00 - Intro
02:10 - What are we trying to get?
04:25 - A sense of lack
06:07 - The will-to-live
07:54 - How to have what we want
#backwardslaw #aldoushuxley #reversedeffort

[@karlstrauss2330]

For over ten years I tried to get into a relationship with girls but kept getting rejected or stuck in the friend zone. One day I said “screw it I’m done I’m just gonna focus on me and work on my own pursuits.” Started going to the gym, read a lot of books, picked up learning the guitar and really just focused on my own projects and guess what? Women still ignored me and I’m still unattractive to them lol

[@lowmileage5982]

bro 😂😂 you had me in the first half

[@CardCaptorDeadpool]

Yeah but now you're fit and motivated

[@Adeyum64]

Yeaaah for some reason it doesn't work there xD same for me. In fact, I actually even attracted someone after not giving a shit about it anymore. But you know what the problem was? She turned out to be a total narcisst and didn't give a damn anymore. So... yeah... attracting someone who is completely shit isn't necessarily the solution either.

[@dillponis7286]

Had me in the first half not gon lie 🤣 got a feeling you're life's way happier now tho Bro😏👊

[@restysanpedro3592]

Hahaha, you're not alone bro. I'm 25 and still dont experienced a relationship that last at least a month. It was so disappointing but atleast we have already watched this video.

[@Joel-pl6lh]

"Every man is happy until happiness becomes a goal" -Tame Impala

[@nvmffs]

How can they be happy and make it a goal at the same time? They didn't know they were happy? if so, they really need to ruminate more.

[@Joel-pl6lh]

@@nvmffs You can make it a goal even if you are are already happy, just like your goal in life is to keep a house when you already have one. Or maybe they are 70% happy and want more happiness, thus becoming a goal

[@babygirlxisis]

u made me try to wipe my screen about 3 times

[@Willsmiff1985]

Happiness is a daily thing, not a long term thing. You’ll get exhausted chasing happiness (and probably develop an addiction). Don’t chase happiness. Chase content.

[@chandlerarlen7215]

*The Less I Know the Better guitar solo begins*

[@rddle_tune]

8:21 As someone who has been struggling with a really severe sense of perfectionism, this may be the biggest eye opener I've had in years. Realizing that the search for "perfection" itself IS the thing bringing that feeling of imperfection and deciding not to try to chase an unclear definition of it, has immediately sped up my productivity. Perfection comes as soon as you realize that imperfection is not a bad thing. "Accept imperfection and you feel perfect." What an amazing video.

[@blurryy6423]

Same here

[@cloudboy08]

So true

[@hardboiled2987]

The path to perfection is imperfection The path OF improvement is perfection

[@oscr_zen]

Omg, I am the same my whole life, trying so much to be a perfectionist. I'll tell you where these behaviors come from, in my case I was always trying to be seen by my father, chasing a version of myself that I was never going to reach.

[@blahblahblah561]

I was so used to heartbreak and wanting to find “the one” that the moment I chose to focus on myself, I manifested the man I imagined. He came at the time I was focused on myself, and in the perfect timing as I was in an unattached state of mind. Love is like sand, once you try to hold it tight in your hands it slips through your fingers but when you hold it without force, it remains in the palm on your hand.

[@Reeeeeee12345]

Literally imagines a 12" coke can dong BBC tyrone who likes to Rap, and gets to choose several out of dozens of similar tyrones online after 1 day of online dating.

[@sperez3275]

Love that

[@hamIous]

Omg ❤

[@John-PaulHunt-wy7lf]

Tarot is bs. Uninstalls astromatrix app again for the final time. My cynical view on life becomes more solid by the day as I cannot stand how society brainwashed people into being happy and brainless like in the movie Idiotcracy here. Like the law of flow the backwards law does not work for guys like me who see everything they see and read as just op-ed for power and profit these days.

[@whitneyschrader124]

❤❤❤

[@blackmoonlilith4080]

Everytime I chase something/someone, they drift further away. The minute I give up on the idea, I attract it. In my opinion, life will give you things only once you've learnt to live without them, it wants to teach you to not base your happiness on anything external. It comes from within.

[@ustadraju9716]

Beautifully said

[@quickgirl80]

I’ve noticed that too. Once I truly let go, it comes.

[@Iyonable12]

Beautifully expressed. Life is the greatest teacher

[@cabezitadealgodon]

Powerful!

[@nexfierce4924]

Absolutely

[@sam.246]

The more we over-analyze the harder it becomes. Just act with intent, without being too attached. Enjoy the small steps.

[@joshuagraham5422]

Yeah it's ironic. Watching video after video and stepping further away every time 😂 I guess the only truth is which you believe is true

[@Realest636]

I feel like this has been the story of my whole life.

[@seramarie76]

Thank you!

[@TheLastInferno]

"Enjoy the small steps" Love it.

[@zico81]

Thank you! 🙏

[@mesmerizingasmr4329]

You shouldn’t decide that you will be happy only when you’ll meet your goal, you should celebrate every milestone that you achieve on your way to your goal and be happy you made it, the happiness is within the process not at the end result

[@hatsunemiku5827]

I learned this law on my own. I noticed I was trying too hard to fall in love but when I decided loving someone isn’t that important, I found the perfect person for me :)

[@hesh2892]

But if are well equipped , it is easier to fall in love..or get a partner. I mean, if you have education, good job, savings, ability to own house etc, then partners will be easier to find

[@HeresVasilias]

Ok women

[@DccToon]

helo anime womn

[@dream.whip.cream.]

@@HeresVasilias ok doctor

[@QuestionEverythingButWHY]

“He who is not content with what he has, would not be content with what he would like to have.” ― Socrates

[@aduts1177]

hmm,deep

[@dlon8899]

Time isn't linear. We can be better yesterday and realise it today

[@tetsuky]

bullshit! if i had 100 trillion dollars right now i would be happy af to retire

[@Danielkaas94]

@@tetsuky There is approximately US $37 trillion in circulation: this includes all the physical money and the money deposited in savings and checking accounts.

[@tetsuky]

@@Danielkaas94 37 trillion dollars it is then!

[@CrispyParrot]

"Fighting a negative experience means that you suffer twice" stopped me in my tracks.

[@CrackberryMe]

You said what I was feeling perfectly.. That quote stopped me in my tracks too..

[@JaysonT1]

This basically comes from Mark Manson's work. I highly, highly recommend it. It's non-bullshit.

[@cylltndn7935]

You never change things by fighting existing reality anyways

[@introvertedjamaicanpoet3768]

Aye the truth in that one! Worry is an absolute waste of time

[@ad_itz18]

If u suffer twice then u would be Familiar with it when it comes again

[@ShonenJoe]

That's exactly how I got into my first long-term relationship. I just stopped caring about it.

[@prettygneissproductions]

GRATITUDE. If you wanna put this awesome video into practice, start a simple gratitude practice. I write things I’m grateful for in a small notebook almost every day. Writing physically really helps require thoughts and ideas and mantras and affirmations into our brains better.

[@marlonalatiit1609]

thank you. im doing this as well (ive learned it from the secret gratitude book)

[@SuperMario5912]

"Accepting a negative experience is a positive experience"

[@JaysonT1]

"Wanting a positive experience, is a negative experience" -Mark Manson

[@cylltndn7935]

"Experiencing wanting it a negative positive" Me

[@candiceruth10]

But as bible says ask and it is given. What you ask , you get. LOA.

[@JaysonT1]

@@candiceruth10 Loa is a scam. You're not going to want to but look into it's contradictions. LOA is a scam that's been around for hundreds of years. It's run by ego and greed. It feeds the neediness in you. You are being taken advantage of. Please, research why it is a scam.

[@candiceruth10]

@@JaysonT1 well, I don't use LOA consciously but I have always miraculously got what I wanted and desired. I have my own miracles and experiences.

[@QuestionEverythingButWHY]

“Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone.” ― Alan Watts

[@jmanuelpereirafernandes4017]

I learned it as kid. Patience, time and let it happen if you believe it will happen.

[@Diana-gt1rv]

I really like this very good quote and the whole lecture.

[@gregorygiordani3270]

Yes, but is that not also wanting something? Lotus flowers are a symbol for spiritual beauty and have a great symbolistic value in zen bhudddism, yet lotus flowers can only grow in muddy water. It is not about letting the muddy water alone to get pure, ckear water. It is about letting the water be muddy because there is nothing wrong with that. In the Tao Te Ching it is written: "(...) If you want to be straight, let yourself be crooked If you want to be whole, let yourself be partial If you want to be full, let yourself ve empty If you want to be reborn, let yourself die If you want to be given everything, give everything up(...)"

[@LaetareIerusalem]

@@gregorygiordani3270 its just the practical application of coincidentia oppositorum, somehow... your answer is just what ive been experiencing the last weeks

[@LaetareIerusalem]

I meen, I ve been perceiving, that im building up, setting separation, where there is none, only an interaction like lotus and mudy water

[@trappart9209]

Honestly what it is about is experiencing things as they are and not being needy because when we want something badly we start to see desired thing as an end goal and not as an opportunity to experience life. In other words we have to explore ourselves and the world through experiences and this is the way of growth and being content

[@vitorstreetboys]

lowkey yes. there is matter of personal judgement or what i do with my life bad choices good choices and habits. in example guys in the comments talking about sex frustration. they are very alike to stay this way lol serious now we are not fancy since we are born. we come to this world naked screaming covered in blood ew (and then pooping pants for a long time) imagine you don't have water for 15 days and you're starting to feel like die. be or look needy don't matter if all you need is water. unless you're like Jesus surviving 40 days in the desert you can't just pretend you don't need and you're cool "inanition" definition in·​a·​ni·​tion ˌi-nə-ˈni-shən : the quality or state of being empty: a: the exhausted condition that results from lack of food and water b: the absence or loss of social, moral, or intellectual vitality or vigor BIOLOGY: state of a cell or an organism that lacks an essential element for its life i'm trying to say: equilibrium (balance? i dont speak english well). everything has its measure. and will be always things to come in consideration. money is a tool not god friends are friends, help, sharing, no slaves or masters or business partners relationships means a partner to walk on your side the journey not the end of the journey (quite what you said) water and food are a need and who don't have it to survive should not be judged just helped i like your comment because it remember us we have a heart

[@crackinhalatie5597]

@@vitorstreetboys gesproken

[@Inulchowdhury786]

I have tried to get better from my anxiety attacks more I tried to get better I was getting more ill and also disappointed, When I ignored to get better I was starting to get better. Backwards law really works and makes you content

[@jamesnelav2649]

Basically, still be a doer, still be ambitious, and strive to do your best but have a mindset that doesn’t focus so hard on the results, love the present, and let go. Much like how you typically find the best things happen to you when you least expect them.

[@davidwashington9113]

Thanks

[@ononoviscent8116]

More sensible

[@mentiquebakabila4254]

Good question is - how do I stop my mind from wanting to feel better? I don’t think that regular meditation will solve this in a few months

[@mentiquebakabila4254]

@Alec Wagoner so, I found out consistent regular meditation for 2 months has done nothing, so I could try doing it for at least 5 minutes a day and will notice benefits in about a year and I don’t really have to worry about wasting my time on it, is that right? Edit - also, one of my biggest concerns is getting enjoyment from food which I’ve been struggling for months, it seems it’s impossible getting a good hit of positive hormones from food unless I’m in a good mood which happens quite rarely (about 2 times a month), doesn’t matter how hungry I get, I almost never enjoy food in any other way, just like with many other things

[@martiansunkingent.8231]

Good luck striving without a goal

[@iampiyushsingh7544]

P.S. he is not talking about having goal, he is talking about constantly worrying about results

[@sedacemohammed2146]

@random viewer Once the king and his wise counselor were out on a hunting trip. They stopped beneath some trees to feed their horses peas when suddenly; a young monkey swung down from the branch and grabbed a huge handful from the feeding trough. Halfway back up the tree, a single pea slipped from the monkey’s furry hands, and in a desperate effort to catch it, he spilled all of the other peas to the forest floor. The king and his counselor watched with amusement as the empty-handed monkey climbed and sat alone on a branch, staring sadly down at them. The wise counselor chuckled and said to the king, “Good King, when far too greedy you be, remember that monkey and the pea.” Moral: Dont chase after things which you cant have, rather stepping back will make things come to you.

[@nachofroyo6493]

insightful

[@chancemcquade6332]

@random viewer Broken English, plus, the video is not about motivation one bit. Did you watch it?

[@gravy3858]

@random viewer I don’t understand how you can mock someone else’s English, when in the same comment you showed broken English. Please don’t spread hatred and ignorance. There is no need to be racist. Get help bro

[@itismethatguy]

@random viewer why Curry India every country has a cuisine and its not limited to India

[@fatboyjack904]

I think you just cured one of my mental disabilities because it never existed in the first place. I was convinced that I had a mental disability because of the cloudiness in my brain, and I just had a taste of clarity watching this video.

[@KhushiKala-ig6cp]

I relate, at times it feels like I have ocd but deep down ik the inner dialogue is because of I am trying to get rif of a thought repeatedly lol

[@GingerNingerGames]

This was super comforting honestly, it's something I've been thinking about for a long time, now I just need to execute it, I know there's a few things in my life that would, and would have worked out better if I stopped trying to pursue them with all of my being, but the sadness still creeps in sometimes, and it seems to overpower everything.

[@X11CHASE]

Ironic

[@aguychillin7700]

“As long as you believe happiness lies somewhere else: with the next partner, the next job, the next year. It will never be where you are”

[@MistaTurdburgerz]

Life has a funny way of just *working itself out* on its own sometimes If its meant to be its meant to be!

[@bunsenn5064]

@@MistaTurdburgerz Meh, not really. I’ve tried to just let go and let life go on as it may, but that never made it work out. It’s like a have to actively try in order to make anything better, but by trying to make things better I actively cause those things to become further out of reach.

[@ethelion9412]

@@bunsenn5064 Have you tried the stoic way of looking at things?: separating what you control and what you can’t control. When you do this you find there is only 2 things you are in control of, your thoughts and actions. So by focusing on what you do, with small goals but not becoming overly frustrated by the outcome. Knowing you’ve done your part and that you don’t have control over the world or other people, this may make you feel more content with where you are in life at that moment.

[@PanHanos]

Yea that's how you grow tho

[@rosebeforehoes9829]

@@bunsenn5064 its not about completely letting life go.. its about a mindset.. you want to have a direction, not a destination.. if that makes sense.. all these set goals never live up to our expectations. Trust and enjoy the process. Be more in the now, and remember this is no guarantee that things will turn out just fine. Or maybe they will.. just not in the expectation you had. Dunno if this helps, I dont know what your situation is ofcourse but feel free to explain

[@ThePioneeringPixel]

Something that strengthens this entire lesson is: You don't want the item, status, or person, you want the feeling it gives you.

[@user-qe7bt9dz1l]

No actually I want both. The combo is what makes it appealing and beautiful. Not on its own. Sex without the visual appeal of the woman is not EVEN CLOSE to being the same as just getting off without the visual stimulus- As an example.

[@Arrrrt5]

We don't know what we want, and if we want we don't know.

[@thewholetruth4192]

@@user-qe7bt9dz1l There Should Be 5 Stages of Want, lol

[@mattjr4206]

Yeah u want the feeling bt ur physical form can't be satisfied with just the feeling. The physical form needs some action.

[@theanomaly3038]

@@user-qe7bt9dz1l that's why until now you still don't get both

[@khajiitimanus7432]

This was greatly insightful. I've spent years in introspective reflection, ever since middle school. I was always wondering just what it was I wanted in life, and why I constantly felt dissatisfied. I tried too hard to take the path I believed would make me happy. I tried to resist negative events, and force myself to be constantly friendly. Instead, I should have waited - taken in whatever events happened, accepted it, and worked off of it. Accept that it has happened, and continued natural gradual growth as an individual by doing whatever needed to be done, while simply accounting for a new factor. I always felt that I had to force myself to act - to be productive, and to improve. But by forcing it, I was doing neither - too focused on the idea, instead of the act. I don't _need_ anything to make myself happy. Ergo, I don't need to concern myself with becoming happy. I don't need to question unproductivity; it is natural to tire out and burnout - by specifically _trying_ to be productive, I become less productive than if I simply do whatever need be done; by trying to actively recover from being exhausted, I become more exhausted. To make a little Bloodborne reference: "Aah, you were at my side, all along. My true mentor... My guiding moonlight..." I was searching for things I already had.

[@TheFirstRealChewy]

My interpretation: First separate your wants from your needs, then strive for what you want but be content if you only get what you need.

[@shriharsh7242]

"I'm the only one who doesn't have any quote in his mind." - Shriharsh

[@malikfahdaliawan178]

Yet you stated your own.

[@vikrambhandolkar]

😂

[@dabeezkneez8716]

Enlightened bugger you!... I see what you did there

[@marcs.1138]

dope one

[@johnkhan2894]

Keep preaching king 👑

[@nirous9553]

"So tell me what you want, what you really, really want" - Alan Watts

[@TunTuni25]

Alan Watts...or....Errrr.......Spice Girls?!

[@Moneyney-]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@dannisayseffyou]

Oh god !

[@ZachVanHarrisJR]

“I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want!”

[@got2kittys]

"If you wanna be my ......" Sorry, couldn't resist.

[@iLfEdE1992]

In my opinion it's a simplistic shortcut to life: don't try, let life come to you. The complicated and more meaningful philosophy is try, try and try and be comfortable with failure. There's nothing inherently bad with failing. You either make it, or learn something that will eventually be the reason of a beautiful future. The thing is, is much easier to say "don't try" (in the Bukowski way) rather than learn how to approach failure/experience the right way. And people like the easy way out.

[@yellybeam2869]

Seems like you wasted 11 minutes of your life. You totally missed the message. Think about the murky water in the pond. You WANT to see the floor, but you can't. There are many things you CAN do; one of them is to be patient and wait until the cloudiness subsides. It doesn't mean you don't do anything, you just don't go out of your way to make the water clear. You could pump out the water and fill it with fresh water and maybe, just maybe that would fix the problem.

[@dstroviolin]

Bukowski actually worked really hard, toiling away in bad jobs for decades while writing constantly whenever he could. If anyone was familiar with rejection and failure it was that guy (“I wasn’t a loser, I was just losing” he once wrote). Yes, “Don’t try” is written on his tombstone, but I’m sure it refers to being in the moment, not being overly concerned with results. Sounds pretty close to the backwards law to me. I guess it makes sense that some of his favorite poets were Taoists, like Li Po for example.

[@iLfEdE1992]

@@dstroviolin Thanks for the reply. I actually read almost all his books and his biography since I am interested in both who I agree and disagree with. Let’s say putting Bukowski and “work ethic” in the same sentence is a little bit of a long shot. True, he worked at many jobs while writing. True, he never stopped writing and eventually ended up having his work published by a friend who gave him a chance. Nonetheless, it’s fair to say he never outworked anybody. On the “Don’t try” part. It has, obviously, multiple meanings. One of those is, for sure, being present. Another one is, for sure, the literal one. In addition to that, he was also referring to a concept of never getting out of your comfort zone by doing something you don’t like. He worked at those jobs in order to survive. He didn’t enjoy working at the post office. Something common to a relevant number of people and not particularly special. Let’s put it this way, there’s definitely value in Bukowski’s work. Bukowski is the one guy who wrote about one behavior and diametrically behaved the other way round. Which is indeed, fascinating, but is also the reason why everybody should be very careful about his quotes and writing, and focus more on what the man was really about. He’s the one guy that, when you read his books in dark times, gives you relief, you can relate with (through disappointment and complaints), but you eventually don’t want to take as a life mentor to get your shit together.

[@JORDan-bh8qw]

When it comes to something like happiness and the pursuit of it, I tend to remind myself that happiness is an emotional state, all of which are fleeting. The acceptance of your current mental and emotional state is the first step to moving forward and experiencing other mental and emotional states. Chasing something that can never last for more than a moment is futile, so just let it come and go as it does.

[@Trashcanvance]

This is like finding your lost stuff in your house, trying to find that "stuff" leads to more confusion and making that "stuff" more lost, but when you give up and try not to find it, it magically appears.

[@Goofypoof]

Its like when you forget something or forget what you wanted to say; you think about it and cant remember. But when you give up on thinking about it, you magically remember what it was. Life is so unfair 😂

[@christophermccord3316]

It's always in the last place you look for it.... cause after you find it you quit looking....

[@pjv9361]

No, no, no. You actually have entities in your house. Boo!

[@user-qe7bt9dz1l]

@@christophermccord3316 That could be a clever olden day quote.

[@binsarjoseph731]

I used to think that way, but I managed to put them in specific places, building sort kind of system ya know

[@erickp3003]

"The price of getting what you want is getting what you once wanted." - Dream, Sandman

[@GaRciiA805]

My brother, I do not think I get it. Would you mind sharing any context or personal understanding?

[@user-vs4iy7dk2b]

@@GaRciiA805 I may be wrong but I think it means that once you get what you want you stop wanting it and move on wanting something else. Hence you always get only what you wanted but not want.

[@shaduwy]

No it means the price of getting what you want is getting what you once wanted. As in it came to your mind once and you didn’t go after it psychologically

[@wordlife1997]

When you lose interest the interest in you increases.

[@Stuttgart1887]

@@GaRciiA805 I think it means that you sacrifice the gift of the present moment for a desire you had in the past since desires don’t manifest immediately. So you’re always on the hunt for past wishes. Idk man just stay present and don’t let your mind fuck you up

[@oscr_zen]

Accepting a negative experience, makes it a positive experience. I got to that realization myself, and its the craziest thing that you can experience.

[@creativelady7]

This is one of my favorite videos of yours! It just makes sense as I find it so true now that I'm in my older years and have experienced life. Thank you for posting this one!

[@NoobyNoon]

Bruh, I got big ADHD. That elephant never stood a chance at being remembered

[@king-sweyn]

I got ADHD two but that just means that I get every color of the rainbow elephants cycled threw my brain every 2 seconds.

[@user-fb8bo3ys2f]

Right 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@panhan4805]

Man I want the pink elephant bro I’m on Ritalin

[@tehniyatkhani8779]

Hahhahahahahhahahhaha😩🔫

[@Kitsune_Dev]

@@king-sweyn eeeeeeeee

[@libulan8179]

This is like looking for a romantic partner, if you try too hard to look for it, you'll always end up with the wrong one.

[@maTa-3025]

That's so true... In a 2line you showed me what I was trying since 7 yrs...🙏

[@azarishiba2559]

Or you end with no one reciprocrating your feelings.

[@LoveNeverFails1]

You can end up with the wrong one by not looking too. :P

[@ms.5779]

@Liam Go True, I know this for a fact as it happened to me and noticed it happened to friends. Lesson learned

[@isinnedbye]

Fax

[@mlindosroom]

As soon as I received this I instantly became free🥺 I can't believe that all my life I've been chasing what I already have 😭

[@Mike-tk6wr]

This has helped me so much, I was searching for it for so long even though I'm 23. This is a whole lot of answers. Thank you

[@Josephmgo1]

"Desire is a contract that you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want." -Naval Ravikant

[@feathero3]

That is an amazing quote to sum up the meaning of the backwards law!

[@Elite_Sturmgewehr]

Wow very wise words.

[@starladear9513]

Wrong. Desire is the only energy.

[@feathero3]

@@starladear9513 It's not that desire can't be a motivator, or even a way to describe your will power. It's the focusing on what you don't have part. It's like looking at just the destination, and not the journey to it.

[@mono1813]

Naval is goated

[@michellek2882]

I stopped actively looking for friendships and I actually ended up with some friendships. No more chasing.

[@dan0_0nad76]

I did too, ended up lonely af.

[@Nepthu]

The same happened to me. I learned that inviting the same people to do things that they didn't really want to do made me annoying. When I left people alone, I started getting invitations from others.

[@RP_67]

Same here, i used to be very active even with strangers meaning that it has always be easy to talk. But no response. Now when i founded the introvert in me, people has come strangly active, sometimes i feel that i have to run away. Just leave me alone please...

[@RP_67]

@@Nepthu Maybe its cause people are afraid too active or overcoming behave. But when you are passive, starts to happen..you have decided to let it go. What you dont want anymore, you will get it. The law of the universe.

[@genesises]

You were more likely just obnoxious when you were trying and you're way more approachable when you tune it down, it just feels better to say you're not actively looking any more 8)

[@thealpomish]

This is a life-changing video for me. I sat down and tried to rethink my life. Thank you

[@GoceDelcevMKD]

So true. The best things come when you work hard and don’t chase people/goals/things.

[@jhall19k45]

4yrs ago I gave up on finding a good relationship and establishing financially security. Today I am proud to tell you that I am still broke and still single Update: I may have found a job for financial security

[@atsuyak768]

there's a line between ambition and forcing an expectation. It's a healthy balance to let things be as they be and to make positive change in oneself.

[@danchiengchiengi8581]

Hahahahaaaaaa!

[@supreemcourt9181]

lmaoooo!!

[@joeshand9490]

🤣😂🤣😂

[@limouzine1529]

At least you can say to yourself that you tried. There is no shame in failing, but only being too afraid to try.

[@stevenmathieson5713]

My mother taught me this as a child, she would say, If you're meant to have something it will eventually come to you , be patient.

[@chucknoris7648]

I like that saying puts stuff in perspective

[@empress_enchantress]

Hugs your mom for me

[@user-nf4qd8wr1u]

Ok im just going to wait for a burger to come to me, im just going to be patient

[@empress_enchantress]

@A B Who's hurting you? Is everything ok at home? Don't be so rude. You know exactly this context won't suits in every aspects of life. No offense.

[@empress_enchantress]

@@user-nf4qd8wr1u I know you're actually brighter than your typical burger comment

[@saynaagullo3813]

Thank you, Einzelgänger. Your messages are simple and thus, true. Listening to you filles me with love towards you and me and everything there is. Thank you.

[@aaronestrada983]

Seriously Einzelganger, I cannot not believe this profound wisdom and knowledge is free. Every time I watch your videos I always feel calm.

[@sineadsuter9188]

"The mystery of life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced" loved that !

[@fadhlishafhanlubis]

yeah but teh experience are often suffering

[@Ovalee]

@@fadhlishafhanlubis both joy and troubles are both equally part of life, temporary and fleeting.

[@muhamadrizkikiki3631]

@@fadhlishafhanlubis ada apa dengan mu

[@fadhlishafhanlubis]

@@muhamadrizkikiki3631 Trimakasih Rizki, alhamduliah saya sudah rasa baikan

[@WiseMysticalTree4]

My name.

[@charlesvictoria6800]

“I tried so hard and got so far. In the end, it doesn’t even matter.”

[@j-tenn226]

Story in my life. I wanted a job at a dispatcher for a year straight, tried 3 times, got it, and now I’m bored af there, bad at it, and I want out. I can’t remember why I wanted it so bad.

[@dabeezkneez8716]

@@j-tenn226 🤣🤣🤣 Story of our lives. You are a seeker, friend. You are 'taste' testing the world. Someday you will reach buddha levels of disillusionment, recognize there is nothing outside that can satisfy and turn inwards where there is no boredom. Take my blessing. 🙏🏾

[@natureswhisper1397]

Linkin Park right? ;)

[@JaiTuljabhavaniMata]

One of my favourite song😀

[@pygmalion0451]

"I had to fall to lose it all, but in the end, it doesn't even matter."

[@tarared7668]

I always come back to this video every time I'm stressed out. Thanks!

[@foreverone8308]

I truly enjoyed the use of the background noise and music in this video. Very soothing and not at all overpowering your voice!

[@kevgh3869]

"Shut the computer off and take the garbage out." -Wife

[@brandonazar2010]

Hahahahaha classic

[@jeffwheaton9182]

Lol

[@naufalalbari]

I don't have a wife 😀

[@richardjones2455]

@@naufalalbari Count your blessings.

[@smcv8365]

Five years from now, overpaid New Age gurus will be selling that line in their sermons.

[@ashwin2174_]

"As long as you make all those things objects of desire, you're defining yourself as lacking them." - Alan Watts

[@minnesotom776]

“Yabba Dabba Doo” -Fred Flinstone

[@enzosbuttercup8761]

Alan Watts is one of the philosophers that I adore very much.

[@user-qe7bt9dz1l]

Wow.

[@zacharymoerder1795]

@@minnesotom776 idk if it's the stark contrast of the poignant original quote to the lowbrow absurdity... or I'm just reeeallly high... but you fucking cracked me up my man

[@zacharymoerder1795]

@@minnesotom776 also, the Google Translate to English (that when pressed, changes NOTHING) is just a cherry on top of it all; truly exquisite comedy

[@IliketohikeAT]

Thank you for your voice and all your messages.

[@Cherrycreamsoda1]

I was literally about to search "how to want less" when this video popped up. Great stuff. Can't wait to see more content :)

[@stoffo9265]

"I wish everyone would stop with the quotes." - Lo Wang

[@sephirothsephiroth7138]

😂😂😂 good one

[@yuriyu123]

"No." - yuri

[@christines9227]

😆 👍🏽

[@TheTenof12]

lol

[@poojars5594]

😂😂😂

[@unmorcipan]

"Stop trying to live and you will never die" -Someone who died

[@Cube_Box]

Not funny - someone who found this funny

[@Isildur94]

@@Cube_Box funny -someone who didn’t find this funny

[@hardlines2635]

I stopped trying to find this funny.

[@zairehamlett]

This feels and sounds deeeper than what is says

[@blair5475]

@@hardlines2635 But I still find it funny

[@bluwasp3296]

**”The mystery of life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.”** I will never forget that.

[@KARINA29534]

What a life-changing video. This was very helpful. Thank you.

[@Parathion2246]

I think this applies best to dating. When you stop actively searching and stop viewing people as potential partners you just see people as people. It lets you form genuine friendships where feelings evolve naturally overtime. When you go into a new relationship with the goal of making it more than it is it often has the opposite effect.

[@frostyfrostbite406]

cringe

[@royaldarknezz7408]

@@frostyfrostbite406 in what way is not being desperate cringe?

[@rawlaalawr9009]

Once, there was a girl who was a pretty popular and prominent figure in a fandom that I was involved with. Literally all the boys in the fandom were hitting on her and trying to get closer to her, and she turned them all down. I was literally the only guy in the fandom that didn't want to be her boyfriend. So when we started talking, her reaction was "Hey, this guy isn't hitting on me at all! He's pretty interesting! He's not like the other boys!" and eventually she developed a huge crush on me, and we've been happily together for over five years now. Still to this day I have no idea whether to be proud that I "did something right," or angry and confused that the trophy girl went to the only guy in the whole crowd who wasn't interested in her. I actually deeply hate that the world works like this.

[@mane8063]

@@rawlaalawr9009 I really hope you don't actually regard your GF as an object ("trophy girl") but rather be happy to have a good human being in your life. After all it's her choice with whom she wants to be in a relationship with and not just because any fandom boys "want her"

[@lunaromance2243]

No

[@JoeySutch]

Let go and be free baby! It’s cool to set goals. Let’s just not be so overly attached to the outcome. We will miss out on the greatness of the journey if we are.

[@scathescratch288]

You sir, got that kinda perspective I can jive with. Don’t sweat the small stuff ppl P s it’s all small

[@davidschmidt270]

Well said

[@arjungandhi7611]

That's gita

[@Phurngirathaana]

Enjoy life with friends and family 👍🙏☺️

[@Tuber-sama]

Perfectly stated. Thank you.

[@johnong6409]

This blew my mind. Thank you. Thank you so much for the enlightenment.

[@maaaatiiii7]

KZbin recommended this video at the perfect time. Thank you, I really needed it.

[@ravirajyaguru5905]

"It worries me the most, thinking that people will just quote random stuff on the internet using my name" - Lao Tzu

[@ambrishbiradar8255]

😂😂😂

[@knwohwo9737]

lol

[@CITYBEACHTV]

🤣🤣🤣

[@theskylighter27]

🤣🤣🤣

[@Daniel96ftw]

It is better to be a smart fella, then to be a fart smella. ~Sun Tzu, The Art Of War

[@Seleno_phile]

"Desire is a contract that you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want." Naval

[@myd34]

😂😂😂 that hit home

[@actsrv9]

Brilliant!

[@limouzine1529]

Spot on!

[@raphaelantoine1691]

Nice!!

[@robertbaur2672]

no we don't MAKE the contract the contract is given to us by nature desire by definition is not chosen or at least natural biologically based desires aren't

[@felixsia]

It’s my blessing to meet this channel.

[@roshnijain7970]

Thank you so much for your video, this is what I needed in life. God bless you❤

[@Mission.Islamia.]

"The mystery of life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced" I need to keep this in mind ✨

[@TAROTAI]

"Solve the problem & it won't be a mystery" - Joey Bond

[@Arrrrt5]

I'll try to keep that in mind. Maybe you could help me to remember.

[@davidbiankina8038]

@@Arrrrt5 I suggest you to note it somewhere on your notebook. You can start doing this for quotes you want to remember do you can just go read.

[@thewholetruth4192]

@Nisah. unless, of course, if the subject does not yet know he is watching a reality being experienced yet. that is a puzzle he/she has yet to figure out. 😋

[@Riquezaxix]

"I need to keep this in mind"😂

[@anapaulavalero3476]

Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose - Yoda

[@keithmurphy8640]

I... I love you

[@limouzine1529]

@@keithmurphy8640 Damn right

[@FistOfHatred]

Especially letting go what you already lost

[@limouzine1529]

@@FistOfHatred Very good advice for someone addicted to gambling

[@FistOfHatred]

@@limouzine1529 lmao

[@DylanHaskin]

Beautiful. Thanks for making this man

[@DJL3G3ND]

that background footage is too beautiful, I so wanna be there

[@learninglockit]

This is why practicing gratitude is so important. You can't have what you want unless you are grateful for what you have.

[@SoyChaiLatte91]

Being in a state of gratitude also means you are in a state of receiving. Therefore if you’re always ready to receive, the universe will bring you more things to be great full for 🤍 when we say thank you, it is because we have been given something and we have accepted it.

[@ari_jean]

For some reason practising gratitude only worked for me for couple of days. When I would repeat the same things over and over many times, my mind doesn’t take it in a genuine way anymore. They become just worlds. I either have to constantly think about new things to be grateful for or really force myself to “feel” the sensation of gratitude

[@user-qe7bt9dz1l]

He said content, not grateful.. I can’t stand gratitude approaches anyway because by doing so, you’re “attempting” an emotion rather than just BEING what you already are. Making it inauthentic.

[@user-qe7bt9dz1l]

@@ari_jean That’s exactly what my comment was getting at. It’s just inauthentic and I can’t stand how people preach it like it works so well.. it’s done nothing for me but made me feel like a fake.

[@77goofball]

Fuck that! I'm tired of people telling me of how grateful I should be . I have money, food , water, clothes and shelter, and I want to die!

[@Prince7G]

"Brush your teeth before sleeping at night" - Doctor

[@mikewallis2987]

Took me 30 years to master that 1

[@smcv8365]

That was Buddha. I saw it on WhatsApp.

[@jonzkuj4994]

Inspirational

[@Fuzzira]

"Brush your teeth before you wake up in the morning" - Nightmare

[@wandevv]

I remember when I started learning to code, I was forcing my self to learning and getting stressed for not having the progress I wanted. So I decided to give up coding, and started again 1 month later, When I started for the second time it was even more clean in my mind, when I was working in a project I found my self doing a good job, could remember everything I've learned before 🗿 it was 3 years ago, I actually end up learning how to learn anything, You don't need to try hard learning something, just give a break for your brain, I name this event, "leave it to get it" 👍🏼

[@i2really1der]

Thank you for distilling Alan Watts teachings. You got the essence of it.

[@amanialsoquar5073]

"No man will fulfil his destiny, nor you yours, until you let go of the illusion of control" - Master Oogway

[@JaysonT1]

No such thing as "destiny" .

[@alexevans7478]

@@JaysonT1 it's just a kung fu panda quote😂

[@deddijhnainggolan2669]

@@alexevans7478 lol

[@TheRealUnkn0wn_289]

I never had or cared for control, my dream told me that's what I needed

[@backflip840]

word

[@nachofroyo6493]

Accepting a negative experience is a positive experience. Fighting a negative experience makes you suffer twice. Thanks for the wisdom.

[@VKat]

Love the way you put it

[@seanbrummfield448]

I like how my one social teacher said it, "Aggressively and manically chasing it on purpose, calmly and safely walking on it by accident."

[@wannabemindful]

Well said

[@domenicocomita2950]

Well said. I was struggling to understand that quote

[@nachofroyo6493]

all are welcome. it was mentioned at 8:34 :)

[@angelamacailao245]

this channel is a true gem🥰

[@viacrisostomo4468]

I've been to relationships with people that fits all my standard and I thought it makes me happy but it just makes me more stressed and empty. But then this guys found me, he just cared for me and show me things that Only him can do. He doesn't fit my standard at all he's just fun and kinda cute but I'm now happier with him and now we have a baby, he has been a good father and a husband to me. I've never been this safe and happy before. I've been forcing myself with this people not knowing that the happiness I really need can only be found to someone who gives himself to me.

[@demonicaxeman7264]

"What you resist, persists." Remember that quote. If you resist the sense of lack, it will only strengthen lack. The cheat to success is to plant the seed in your mind that you already have everything you want despite the external world trying to emphasize lack. Seriously, act out as if you already have it and feel the emotion of what you have in your mind and body. The external world is just merely a delayed experience compared to your internal world.

[@TheEncouragementKid]

damn that's fye

[@lordmilchreis1885]

Sounds like r/Im14andthisisdeep

[@HARIHaran-ks7wp]

" The external world is just merely a delayed experience compared to your internal world." this deserves to be in a book

[@albertorogers2139]

That's what the secret book emphasizes

[@gunnarpysher4873]

i like this

[@nixdapogs]

“You better check yo self” - the guy who wrecked himself

[@thesandrabebe7478]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@JasmineJ-SuDirector]

😆😆

[@unrulykash3830]

😂😂☠️☠️

[@VictoriaVictoryable]

😹😹😹

[@drinkingineasterneurope6947]

- Ice Cube?

[@AnnMarks]

OMG! This is the best explanation! Thank you!

[@mmka5434]

This video eased my uneasiness to a great extent. Alans Watts' perspective is spectacular. I appreciate that. Thanks a lot. Be well.

[@Chu_Strums]

I think the point is, you definitely still have to go after what you want. But you have to acknowledge that there are going to be external circumstances which can't be helped, and that you've done your best. That's where contentment comes from.

[@thomashawkins6154]

Thanks 🙏

[@anoushka616]

The regret comes when you have _not_ done your best though. As in what you _could_ have gained, you were _that_ close to obtaining it, but still couldn't due to your own faults.... As much as I understand that worrying about past mistakes isn't reasonable, it's still really tough to forget about what was lost. Emotions outweigh rationality. You just _can't_ get over it. That thought repeatedly keeps playing in your head over and over again.

[@phobics9498]

Sounds more like stoicism than what is trying to be said in this video

[@catnotafox7851]

Thanks

[@abcdefgh-fb5ny]

@@anoushka616 then work on it. easier said than done, sure, but baby steps. practice acceptance and gratitude little by little everyday. it's like a muscle that needs to be trained consistently to achieve the desired shape. it helped me. i still have regret, but not as much. i still have moments of self-pity, but i know when and how to ease out of it (but still can't just "snap out" of it! i hate when people say that). just remember, like a muscle, you don't stop training it; it still needs to be maintained regularly

[@MountainofInspiration]

Detachment always works. Know what you want but at the same time be willing and ready to be emotionally detached from any particular outcome

[@VKat]

So much easier said than done though! But I agree

[@Mcarlson613]

This... This is what I needed to hear, thank you

[@justchelton]

I’m the midst of severe depression and anxiety this video actually made me feel content. Thank you

[@lucidcortex8444]

Hang in there fellow human ❤🥰

[@warior5pink]

Yo chelton, I’ve been feeling the same way lately. After a long hiatus from my depression. Sending love man. Keep being kind to people

[@mikelike3877]

Hope you’re feeling better. Simplify everything nothing worth stressing over life is too short. Seek God and peace not the bs of the works that leads to more depression

[@BEAST.420G]

Likewise. I appreciate this video and these comments. Thank y’all

[@karancricketer]

Reading this comment before playing the video. Thanks for hanging in there , you make me feel better already ✨

[@qv9104]

“There are only two great tragedies in life: one is not getting what you want and the other is getting it.” - Dumbo

[@henceforth.4514]

So...u r stealing from Oscar Wilde, aren't you, Dumbo?

[@deligreen5811]

Mr 2 Bon clay looking saucy

[@Tempusverum]

“Pink elephants on parade, I’m afraid, need your aid, hippity hoppity”

[@Arrrrt5]

Let me make it better: "There is only tragedy in life, if you want something".

[@frv6610]

@@Tempusverum we found shakespear guys

[@nguyennguyenthai3903]

Thank video, it really change my mind, i begin to plan and find strategy before doing something to be followed natural

[@g33kun]

I'm a very self conscious person, was never satisfied with the way I looked. Always looking for means to look better, comparing myself with others but I've come to the realization that this video shed some light to the issue. Though things won't change miraculously, acceptance will.

[@fenixrising1972]

"Stop wanting anything and you'll have it." In other words, the universe is an asshole.

[@ravirajyaguru5905]

I know right! It doesn't make any sense. And who the hell decided that things should be this way!?

[@kingkazma3246]

The universe is a narcissist.

[@ktv9247]

Absolutely

[@om-qg7ju]

"Stop wanting and you'll have it" it being nothing as you've stopped wanting anything

[@idk9594]

@@om-qg7ju fr

[@mrzukunft]

Don't forget that when you chase something, it runs away from you. Set your intentions in the morning as if what you desire is already yours (I have ..., I am ...), allow yourself to feel into what having it feels like, then detach from the outcome and let the universe do its work (thus trust the universe). It will come, do not worry about when, how, or where, because it will. Be grateful for where you are now in relationship to that goal and enjoy yourself. Make yourself feel good.

[@lolaquinn3861]

wat if u die

[@JB.3]

yea cuz when u chase behind shit , things become all about that one thing and the effort and emotion it requires to keep running means failure is pretty inevitable . life should be the same u could start a walk instead of running

[@lily6783]

thank you!

[@user-qe7bt9dz1l]

I did that and nothing changed for years. Except that first part about chasing something and it runs.. that is absolutely true!

[@Drod11z]

That’s not good. If you make yourself feel good that you won’t get what you desire. You have to have a plan and a goal and stick with it

[@birdofpassage9875]

Sounds like a principle of be-do-have or scarcity vs abundance to me. This is a worthy reminder to have from time to time.

[@amirhoseinnikparsa6253]

The best video I watched in KZbin!! Thank you

[@jerrycannon6940]

Learn to stop going after everything. Learn to let things come to you. Everything you want in life will come. Don't force it. Stop wishing. Be patient. Merry Christmas yall

[@Arrrrt5]

Merry Christmas. Of course its easier said then done.

[@jerrycannon6940]

@@Arrrrt5 whether you get it or not in the end it doesn't even matter. Just hope you make it to heaven

[@plantmama7442]

I JUST LEARNED THIS. I used to think learning to receive was letting people give me things or do me favours, but it’s doing your part by showing up and allowing the universe to give you what it is you deserve. Receiving > chasing/begging/seeking.

[@iiCounted-op5jx]

that's not how it works bruh, I wanna be super rich in my 20's but when I turn 30 I'm not gonna care about being rich anymore

[@lani5025]

yuh

[@SandakelumBandara]

OMG it is now that I noticed. Everything I did without expecting anything was damn successful.

[@rinnoona8599]

True dat!

[@patience_passion]

Same here

[@stargazer3552]

me too, Don't even try and will succeed

[@a.d.1926]

Because you do not expect anything and it makes you feel satisfied. So true.

[@SandakelumBandara]

@@a.d.1926 exactly 😊

[@zuzi3103]

I find this video immensely helpful im my current state - thank you very much :) ❤️

[@felixsia]

This means to me a lot. I am trying to find ways to help me live more comfortable in my life.❤

[@hammadroppa152]

Want = don’t have Let go = you feel fulfilled thus you have it

[@a.khanage4599]

“This World is like a shadow. If you try to catch it, you will never be able to do so. If you turn your back towards it, it has no choice but to follow you !” ― Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah

[@scottashe984]

Also, there is no shadow without light. And so there is no good without evil. We don't have to celebrate evil but recognize that it will always be around us and just beneath the surface.

[@valeriandsouza4763]

@@scottashe984 Without pain, how could we know joy

[@hesh2892]

No, i dont agree. This is the case sometimes. But other times, you have to make an effort and you will get reward. Btw if you dont sow a field, you will never get a crop

[@sanschmidt5457]

@@hesh2892 absolutely true imo. But after sowing you have to let nature take its course and let the crops grow on their own. putting fertilizer on it every day to try an help it grow will likely burn the crops. There is a fine line between "seize the moment" and "let things go and what belongs to you will return to you. what doesn't wasn't yours in the first place" and I'm having my problems navigating that line.

[@user-qe7bt9dz1l]

@@scottashe984 It’s funny how seemingly “useless” things like a shadow can serve as a great metaphorical pattern to the much bigger workings of life…

[@vvs1706]

This can be apply to studying something. If you study just to reach some goals, you won't reach it. But when you stop putting the goals and learn just to get better instead, you will reach it someday. This happens because when you study to get better, your brain only focus in one thing, STUDYING. Compare this with study to reach some goals, when your brain got split into two things, STUDYING AND WORRYING ABOUT IT

[@Lauren-7777]

I agree to some extent with this men philosophy. As a Christian I have been taught to knock and seek in faith until we find what we need ( emphasis on 'need' not in what I want). Another thing that's also different for me the regret of not pursuing and trying at least once to obtain what we think we deserve, that is also part of the learning process, not less important by just trying to achieve excellence in whatever we think is achievable, in the end we will learn if it was worthy or not.

[@nehainthebay]

When we only focus on goals we are dissatisfied. If we can combine pursuit with gratitude for the present, we are able to live more calmly.

[@lookupthereupinthetrees9860]

I've sort of sensed for a long time that peoples attitudes towards all the material stuff they have in their lives and the lack of appreciation are a bit like the supply/demand forces of economics. It might be an over-simplification, but the more you have of something, or indeed over-supply the less value it has to you. The first slice of pizza is always the best, and if you are foolish enough to eat the whole lot by yourself the last slice won't even be enjoyable. When more than half the stuff was taken out of my house even the couch, there came a point at which one warm coffee mug in my hand , one stool at an empty kitchen and the light reflections off the herring bone kitchen tiles felt like a life more complete than I've ever known. Less will feel like more, because it has more value assigned to it. We don't lack stuff, we lack sufficient gratitude to sense the magnitude of what we truly have. But I sense that's more or less what you were pointing to I suppose.

[@amanialsoquar5073]

@@lookupthereupinthetrees9860 great comment. Agree with you 100%.💯🙌

[@myrtila]

@@lookupthereupinthetrees9860 great observation tbh. I’ve never thought of it like that but it’s true.

[@JaysonT1]

I think this gratitude stuff is over hyped and marketed.

[@lookupthereupinthetrees9860]

@@JaysonT1 theirs a man that I know, who's the archetype alpha male. Handsome, top manager, beautiful house, desired by women, trophy wife, former special forces more money than he knows what to do with. The weirdest part being that when I hang up the phone, because we've spoken or known eachother since highschool, is that I've only ever really felt sorry for him. Across everything he described one is left with the sense that he is damaged and that he has long bitten off more than he can chew,- he's nearly dead from alcoholism. Hes chased or pursued everything more effectively than most of us could ever hope for but in a moment of weakness the facade will crack and he'll admit to me that he really wants to crawl away then live in a tiny cabin in the woods all alone. I immediately thought of him when I read your comment, because that's the type of thing he would say to me or any of hes other friends when he'd have us believe he's still on a winner. - But in a moment of weakness, he'll admit that he senses that maybe all he ever needed out of life was on old rocking chair, a cup of tea, the chirping of the birds in the forest instead of a wife asking for another holiday. I look at a man like that and it destroys my ability or motivation to 'try.' Listen to some music in an empty home that's a maybe sad and sweet, or go for a long slow, appreciative walk. What else is seriously required? I'd never wish my friends 'success" upon anyone.