Stop Your Victim Mentality and Accept the Nothingness of Life (with Sam Vaknin)

[@depressiontoexpression]

These ideas are unpopular, that's why I love them :) We will be recording a Part II where I will have plenty of follow up questions. Pay close attention, there's a lot of information here!

[@monedameow]

Really unpopular. I'm trying to follow the idea with an open mind but as of this moment I'm failing to. I will keep on trying to understand and elaborate the process. The abusive narcissist persona are the ones stopping me as of this moment. As of this moment, Con-artists is the definition I agree with.

[@Feber2001]

This is good stuff

[@anabell7737]

Thankyou so much.... i found this Awesome and helped me understand so much💜

[@di3486]

If an idea is popular is probably wrong

[@maricamaas5555]

The question is why anyone is taking seriously someone who openly admits to believe that his real self does not exist and that he himself had constructed a false god to whom he is sacrificing daily.

[@jenniferarnold-delgado3489]

this is a speech that should be broadcast , Mr Vaknin , you are really talking about it now .

[@cellosong]

I so appreciate your insights. We can enjoy life. We can do what we can to help others enjoy their lives too. I knew these ideas by the time I entered public school in the U.S. The school tried to get me to participate in "competing" with other students. I never bought into this idea. I'm an "all boats rise to the top" kind of person. I started teaching other students by the time I was 8 years old. When I was given private lessons to nurture my musical talent I gave free group lessons after school to impart what I learned from the private lesson to the other students. I have never "belonged" in our society that deludes people into competing with each other. I want to see everyone enjoy life because it is precious. The way it is structured currently with "haves and have nots" is unfair and unjust. I appreciate your description of reality. Thank you for telling the truth. I have been a truth-teller my entire life. We are not always popular - haha!

[@shucksful]

This was the best Sam talk Ive heard, yet. You sure caught him on the right day, on this one! lol. Thank you for this powerful episode. Subbed.

[@Darniros]

I agree! Well done ❤

[@Jaworzynka86]

As a person with some narcissistic traits I can somehow understand and feel what Sam means. I find great peace and relief in thinking that I may be actually zero. It removes a giant rock, that sits on my shoulder. The need to achieve, to prove, to be better, to be superior. It is a true burden and tragedy, because you can never allow yourself to be vulnerable. Thank you Sam! Although I wouldn’t be so pessimistic. As I said, I have some traits, yet I am thankfully not fully in this narcissistic swamp. The greatest discovery of my life is the idea, that relations with people bring joy and are transcendental, unreal, beautiful. That companionship, exposure, closeness are true, real THINGS. I wish all Narcs could feel it just for one second.

[@Babka113]

I think the way you describe yourself is the way most humans are

[@chocolatecookie8571]

In the West being narcissistic is welcomed and rewardered and even normal unfortunately. If you deviate from that expectation that people and show honesty and vulnerability they will consider you weak or disabled. They will walk over you or see you as unimportant and ignore you altogether. That is my personal experience and what I see from others. Luckily I also experienced how it is to live in a non-Westernised society and I can tell you it is a total different experience. Like living on another planet. There are still countries out there where you can be yourself and not be bullied or ignored for being HUMAN. Because not be able to show human expressions like vulnerability and honesty and joy is inhumane and a crime against humanity. People in the West comodify eachother and see themselves even as objects. It is a sick culture

[@Jaworzynka86]

@@chocolatecookie8571 which countries do you refer to?

[@chocolatecookie8571]

@@Jaworzynka86 few countries in Asia

[@6Haunted-Days]

Well watch the documentary on Sam that was made like 15yrs ago….tested as a PSYCHOPATH (and physical testing I mean as well as emotional) …..so. He’s probably a malignant narcissist then (as in a narcissist psychopath) …..and doesn’t just have some minor tiny traits I mean what? He doesn’t hide himself at all that’s what I love. He faces it all….VERY VERY VERY rare in those with psychopath they and /or narcissism. But there is quite a difference between the 2 disorders……

[@laurasalinas6492]

I’ve been in the classroom with professor via KZbin and because of his teachings I’m thriving and inspiring after a 22 year shared fantasy marriage

[@cyberninjasworld]

❤❤❤❤

[@mariachaudhuri]

I think I’d have put it differently. Instead of calling one’s self a zero, amounting to nothing, accomplishing nothing etc., I’d have said that there should be no judgement on what we do or what we accomplish or what we become. We embrace life as it is in every moment rather than constantly looking for either a positive or negative future.

[@gypsy2007]

Sam sends me into a whirlwind of feelings. I get mad, then I agree, then I see the genius in his statements. Then I feel free because I now am prepared to catch my own westernized mind from falling into the circular vortex of problem-solution. Brilliant mind.

[@jcm5171]

Not only a brilliant Psychology Professor, but a laser eye, and such astonishing wisdom in this day and age, wrapped in one man: Sam Vaknin is unique, and immensely precious. His message is like buddhism at its rawest, purest : don't try to be something, just be, stop fighting to become more of this or less of that, you're nothing more than a narrative made up by your mind for the sake of other minds that do just the same and that's OK as long as you see it. We are nothing, and what a relief, what a beautiful thing, better than our good looks or charisma or educated brains or gifts or up and down hopes and emotions because only when we are completely empty of delusions and illusions can we be filled with everlasting, perfect consciousness. I have learned that the hard way, going around in circles and kicking and screaming, while there was no reason to fight so hard! Be, seek nothing, surrender and if not happiness, contentment and bliss will be with you. I love the truth in the same way that Vaknin means it, not because it is rare or beautiful or sacred or grandiose, but because what else is there? Vaknin speaks the truth he knows based on that he has researched extensively for he is a hard worker and seeker and his experience, even when he knows there is a huge price for him to pay. He feels outraged and disgusted as he should about abuse in general, wide spread hypocrisy and narcissistic, destructive people pretending to be saviors when they only feed on opportunities, like, hélas, the public's need to believe in miracle solutions and gullibility. Thank you for that interview, Scott!!!

[@dianemorrell9638]

Sam regards himself to be a boy trapped inside of a machine. He has interesting introspection.

[@rhodabean]

He is everything so much wisdom

[@McD-j5r]

One of the best speeches of Sam Vaknin. Thanks, Scott.

[@haikeaintiaani9183]

this is weirdly comforting and therapeuthic to hear till i many times return to my automatic ways ofth thinking

[@CC-br9qg]

Love him or hate him, Vaknin has helped a lot of people with his insights and he truly is an authority in the field of psych and personality disorders. Thank you for this interview. Interesting listen even if i don't agree with everything he says.

[@maricamaas5555]

Even though SV's descriptions of motivations behind human behaviour is insightful; much of it is rooted in lies. Sadly SV is father to a cult - engulfing many - grounded on the weak foundation of supposed NPD. He even explained how these supposed personality disorders were invented without proof.

[@Rumination_Vertex]

@@maricamaas5555 Sources?

[@rhodabean]

​@@maricamaas5555what rubbish

[@DelmaRaySmithJr]

The point-blank delivery exhibits Sam at his finest, thx you two for your uninhibited interaction.

[@Magikblooms]

I’m grateful to know the truth.. I’m grateful for your sharing this with us, and it sheds so much light for me. Yes, it hurts to know I was not actually seen and genuinely loved, but, I would rather know this truth.🙏

[@arielcandoleta5347]

Thanks for this. Professor Vaknin was my latest discovery and I'm slowly keeping up with his lessons.

[@thischannelhasmovedcheckla1235]

I found many victims need to recognise their own self value and worth. Working on self love. Finding the value in all experiences, especially the bad, seeing how what you've learnt from them can be of use to others, how you can personally serve others, this will give you self value and worth. And self love will become easier. There is hope, we must hold it tight, hope for the possibility of change for the better inside to out

[@maricamaas5555]

The answer lies in first loving God above all, and then loving others as oneself.

[@thischannelhasmovedcheckla1235]

@@maricamaas5555 for myself I had to learn to love myself before I could connect with god. Not that god was no present but I had cut off my senses to see what's been there serving me, now I can serve others as god intended. Thanks for your reply. Much love to you 🙏💚

[@maricamaas5555]

Thank you for your reply. The journey for each may be different, yet priority-wise Scripture clearly warns us against being lovers of self (which in essence is narcissism); this rather than being lovers of God. With the self-affirmation cult running deep and wide in our culture, one can easily be deceived. Seek God's kingdom and His righteousness first, and all else will be added - including loving the self in a way glorifying God? But yes, it is so true that all experiences - also our failures, losses and pain - should be viewed as opportunities - obstacles to overcome, similar to tests - towards growing in character: For we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God... we also rejoice in our suffering, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, and perseverance character, and character hope... for in Christ we have been reconciled. Experience had taught me that it is worse to feel nothing than to endure pain, which is an indication of still being alive. With best regards 🤗

[@thischannelhasmovedcheckla1235]

@@maricamaas5555 rejoice in our suffering, this is something I was thinking on yesterday so great you mentioned that. I was not able to do this for most of my life, I've had an extremely traumatic life in ways, growing up with a mum extreme schizophrenia, having suicidal thoughts from age 7, depression most my life, death of my best friend, divorce... and much more. Only now I am so blessed to have experienced this in my life. Its carved me into who I am. Also when I talk self love, i am talking about self as the life within, not what we do, where we are or what we have, purely loving life within, not narcissism. This gave me a great video to talk on my channel so thank you. I have many videos on my life and journey to help others. Have a great day 🙏💚

[@maricamaas5555]

@@thischannelhasmovedcheckla1235Good to hear your testimony. As you noted at first; enduring pain, loss and suffering equip one to have compassion and empathy; as motivation to encourage, support and help others in similar positions. Contrary to this, the narrative SV had confabulated regarding sacrificing the real self, seems to be instrumental towards not having to face and deal with pain? Will D.V. be looking into your work. Grace and peace be with you 🤗

[@ellencausey6864]

I love this! We all need more of this REAL TALK! Thanks for sharing! God Bless

[@jdu2613]

Wow! Many thanks, Prof., putting my thoughts into words. This was a great exchange. Scott you did such a good job asking these questions insisting on the relevance of them circulated in our daily life..not just hitting around the bush with some buzz words. I loved the dynamic of this interview. Thank you!

[@ASIOLE_TEURIV]

Honest self-reflection is heart wrenching and growth is so painful and shameful at times. Really looking at ourselves makes one so humble, can’t even dare to point fingers at anyone else due to shame and compassion …. Ahhh, the beauty to be human . To exist is such an adventure.

[@latinas2893]

The first time I listened to this podcast I literally cried all night.

[@maricamaas5555]

Why, please explain?

[@gondwanaman9362]

@@maricamaas5555 must have hit home...

[@A-C1997]

I started following Sam a few months after I found your channel for the first time. When I saw this I thought I was dreaming

[@charleslyall5857]

Excellent. Mr Vaknin is very articulate as well as being a world expert. Enjoyable and challenging listen.

[@ThatGirl-tg7wd]

People believe without question “95% of what they are told “- thank you Professor Vaknin.., most brief diagnosis of how the planet came to its current state of intellectual drought and human dysfunction

[@maricamaas5555]

This includes embracing 95% of what Sam Vaknin has been dishing out over the past 25 years.

[@fragmentedman3735]

He is priming you to lead a meaningless life. If you accept that statement, you will accept his later more ludicrous statements (you will remain poor if you're poor; your life is completely meaningless)

[@triptripity1587]

Second time listening. Excellent interview! Thank you to the both of you..

[@caracopland710]

I ❤️ Professor Sam Vaknin & he's enlightened my life considerably. TY

[@maricamaas5555]

Are you maybe locked in an abusive space that has become your comfort zone?

[@BrianDonato]

I appreciate the message - not encouraging victimhood is so important! I discuss how some people get validation & encouragement mixed up particularly when it comes to this topic in the last video on my channel as well, from a parenting perspective. I hope messages like ours empower people to avoid labeling themselves a victim! I just subscribed to your channel too, keep up the content.

[@realeyesc9385]

A lot of this is very preacher like. I realize Sam views himself as a Psychologist however it is clear he has a religious background. Around 56 mins in it becomes very clear that he is preaching. He begins to talk at the top of his “ inside” voice but one can feel his attempt to push the “ideas” onto the interviewer and in affect “us”. However for the Narcissist, neither the interviewer or the external audience(us) are actually present. And you can see it in the reaction of the interviewer. The interviewer is taken back. The dialogue becomes less about the topic and more about Sam’s ability to target the interviewer’s insecurities. I respect Sam’s work when he presents it without interviewer or direct audience. However it’s clear in this interview he just cannnit help himself. The sweet smell of narcissistic supply overwhelms him and with all his intellect it shows he just digs in, taking as he pleases. I applaud the interviewer. No shame on his skills. He extracts what he can however he pays a price. I guess we all do when engaging “them”

[@6Haunted-Days]

Most don’t and don’t want to admit or realize that Sam is an ADMITTED NARCISSISt! Watch his documentary that was made years ago BUT in the doc he was actually tested by a world renowned expert on it and tested in a physical test and others AS A PSYCHOPATH! So he’s a malignant narcissist which is just a narcissistic psychopath 😂🤷🏼‍♀️. THAT is where the preaching part coms in Most here I bet don’t know this at all…..

[@ioannafardella3717]

That s how you perceived it. I didn t get this feeling at all & it surprises me actually.. I also disagree or see some things differently than him & i realise how NPD may affect his thought on "nothingness"..but i don t feel like he s preaching, i mean he responds at the questions.The questions are about humans/being.. I would had responded the same way..analytical & with passion. Probably it s the 2nd element that gave you this feeling that he preaches. Idk about him but to me that would be the verbal expression of how i live, my values..so how i ended up to have these thought (the procedure..refer to events/statistics etc that support my way of being or else i could verbally express a way of being result of my imagination e.g a solitary person s conclusions may be influenced or even disconnected by reality). The reasons i would consider people need to know/ the intentions may be different e.g to me it might be bcs i wonder how so many normal ppl have accepted this sick way of nowdays being..i m also angry bcs for whatever - human - reason they do that this is a change about human s nature & maybe an irreversible one..so i understand these ppl but my humanity makes me express my worry/anger. Bcs there s no time or it s too late. I also don t think that he pushes his ideas. If he intented to do that he d adopt a different way e.g not say the truth or say some truths (2y ago he had half subscribers at his channel. Maybe bcs he talked about cov id. He could had avoided doing that. & other issues..actually all issues, that s what he says & what happens. He gets supply by being a truth teller/a scientist (i think he tells this too)

[@sushmakumram5360]

I want Sam valknin to talk about teal swan and Jordan peterson

[@jessxkirby38]

he kind of did, listen carefully when he talks about books about 12 rules, hint hint

[@maricamaas5555]

He often refers to JBP during discussions by putting him down, yet uses and even explains in greater depth principles Prof. Peterson had been lecturing on for decades... For example as introduction in this interview mentions 'creating order out of chaos through spoken words; similar to what God did in the beginning'.

[@maricamaas5555]

Even the title of this discussion contains two concepts JBP had been addressing various times in both his Personality and Biblical lectures on Genesis.

[@ranc1977]

Teal Swan was exposed when she said that men who show emotions should be hated and destroyed, rejected. That she only recognizes men who will fight for her and fight all the time. Huge red flag here. Jordan Peterson was exposed on twitter when he made claims of self improvement, that we lack something and we must improve all the time for the same of improvement, to appear superior and to harm others when we are improved. Strong narc messages which he camouflages as self help, he is very skilled con-artist and he exploits like teal swan - people who are confused and who distrust oneself due to trauma - and then seek answers from the outside.

[@ormus64]

Teal Swan is literally unbearable.

[@kanui27]

Talking about narcissism...and as much as i love Dr.Vaknins Videos, i cannot help to feel that he is himself a lot narcissistic. But still a lot of what he explsins is intelligent, interessting and makes sense.

[@AlleB-b9j]

I love so much to hear the truth so raw.

[@drg2094]

What a great podcast ! Love him ❤

[@eps4560]

1:17:44 a point about you being put on antidepressants for 12 yrs. The system is so complex now, that many doctors are indoctrinated, pressured, and/or incentivised to prescribe first. Because they must document all symptoms that you speak. They are often contractually obligated to push meds that match each or at least a primary/predominant symptom. When those above them who they mist answer to, the board of directors, whatever, see that a doctor has a lower ratio of perscriptions sold, they can be "punished" or fired. Per their employment contract, they often must legally suggest a drug because somewhere at the top is owned by drug companies. That doctor must document that the patient Accepted, Declined or Refused. So even if a doctor is conscienctience and offers non RX alternatives, their RX ratio/the numbers are still reviewed, scrutinized and compared at some point by the ultimate money managers of the organism. So. Complicated big picture entanglements are a hindrence to highest quality healthcare. Secondly. Dr. Vaknin's passion earlier in the vid about our ultimate nothingness, yes, is a philisophical idea with historically valid merit. Which correlates to what he speaks of the inner "Void" that Narcissists feel inside at the core. Dr Vaknin considers himself a cerebrial narcissist and is a clinically diagnosed psychopathic narcissist. So he had a solid experiential vantage point. But... I have an aquaintence narcissist who spoke of feeling this same "Void" in their chest. As their BE-ing. I told them that I feel a similar space, but as a "Vast". Like an internal pause and filled with ALL possibilities and potentials. I could see how they could experience this quiet, black space as an empty void whereas I cannot feel it as anything but a pre-creation point of all potentials that is absolutely full but seems empty. I'm not religious, but the Bibles opening statement is basically... there was void first, then there was stuff. Stuff has to come from somewhere I guess, why not "The Vast/Void" ? A good place to rest and not "do". My Point is that: Perhaps our absolute nothingness Dr Vaknin speaks of is THE same as our everythingness at the same time. Perhaps Narcissists think they must fight for being everything in their zero sum game when they could just... not. They dont need to because it doesnt matter. As King Solomon said life is meaningless so eat drink and be merry. Or, life is only the meaning that we ascribe to it blah blah blah. Many people who have experienced NDE's have experienced a place of "Black Void" and they interpret it differently depending on their personal states, baggage and choices. Sam got a little intense on that nothingness there and I just had to comment that perhaps we could ease that truth of Nihilism, bypass it's opposite of Exsistentialism to Nothingness is also Everything, all on pause. They are both the same. No opposites. Now we are integrated. Then at 1:25:06 -ish Dr Vaknin explains Narcissism is all about polarity. Relative positioning. Exactly. It's not about focusing on, and so hard that we seperate and amplify/create opposites. We see an opposite only to integrate them back into their same-ness. Which is nothing and everything and get back to the point of pre-creation. The choice point. Nothing and everything again. That vast void. Perhaps. Who cares though. Lol

[@shaktirising3854]

I'm around 52 minutes now... i mostly am fascinated by Vaknins sharings but for me now he's into overrationalising everything. Cause... he's a man... and he has a diagnose, overrationalising is their resource. I'm spiritual in essence, and so are you wether your realise that or not... For me its getting fanatic Sam.... uberrationalising.

[@bengisusens]

Perfect, amazing conversation ❤

[@SubRosa33]

Excellent commentary by Dr Vaknin.

[@lightfaeries7]

ALWAYS SPOT ON , so resonates always Professor, such a refreshing person. 😊

[@davidlucey1311]

Regarding This guys statistics, I intend to do my best to be successful and happy in life. I am not going to just say fuck it and be miserable.

[@maricamaas5555]

The truth is that this is what each one of us can do: No matter how vulnerable and inadequate one may feel; to show up - taking responsibility for ourselves - making progress - no matter how slow; while comparing ourselves not with others, but with whom we were yesterday; this contrary to hiding behind excuses (such as being abused as a child) in order to remain without responsibility; justified by magical thinking of not really being there. This probably is one reason why the contrary message of intellectual JBP, is as offensive to SV?

[@6Haunted-Days]

That’s NOT what he’s saying 🙄😂 christ awesome way to be a NON listener. You heard what you wanted too

[@Freer-fd7dd]

Fascinating, so enlightening and fascinating

[@jessijames3256]

That was a really interesting podcast. Thanks a lot, you guys. My conclusion is: 1. Nobody is perfect, really nobody! 2. I should stop thinking too much.

[@maricamaas5555]

Think only if qualified enough according to SV - in charge of the rat park.

[@monedameow]

Yup, totally true, victimhood needs to end. Edit: previously the salesmanship reference that you made was the result of a histerical trait, to me this turns out to be like taking those traits apart and giving them their own name and expand their influence.

[@monedameow]

Yes, the DSM was funded initially by the insurance companies, and now some of the conditions are being either changed ir Taken out. Some because there is no "medical" treatment for them. There is even a group trying to take out schizophrenia out because there is no "medicine" to cure it.

[@maricamaas5555]

@@monedameow It also seems some are taken out, because the supposed conditions are becoming more common. Not only about too much money to be paid out, but what use to be unacceptable, is now not seen as disorders.

[@rhodabean]

Brilliant work Prof V

[@BlackWolf6420]

Love listening to Sam Vakinin 👍🏻

[@laurakosch]

54:05 Everyone is equal in value, not ability. We only have this value if it is received, not self generated. See Tim Kellers identity series.

[@SonamBewafaNahiHai]

If people understand nothingness then caste system in India can end, sadly people don't want to accept it even though it's true. I know he has his own problems personality wise but that insight is profound, sometimes a completely different mindset from a person who is designed to think differently because of an disorder can have profound and new and exceptional perception of life. It's definitely something to think about.

[@markmckinnon9238]

Is the world becoming more narcissistic or am i becoming more aware of it ?

[@little_tish8452]

I feel like I've failed as a person. Having reached a milestone and not done anything I should've done by now. I feel like I've let everyone down and its making me so fucking anxious. But in a way I'm trying to tell myself that yes I may have failed but now I can rebuild. But I wish this feeling would just fuck off

[@maricamaas5555]

Reminded that one of JBP's 12 rules for life is about not comparing oneself with others, but with who one was yesterday. However, believe what is most important, is to keep in mind that fear of God is the beginning of wisdom; to seek His kingdom and righteousness first, then all else needed will be added. Contrary to this, fear of man (including trying to live up to others' and our own high expectations) brings a snare. It remains a challenge to - while moving forward - to remain content and thankful with where one is? Have noted there currently is a movement in opposite direction - away from the self-affirmation cult: I am not enough, and it is ok.

[@cross-eyedmary6619]

Freedom IS an end object! Freedom = remaining human. True that we are NOT free in America, but those are separate points.

[@onedividedbyzero]

The overwhelming weakness of the interviewer just boosted more grandiosity in Sam, which saves this interview at some point

[@6Haunted-Days]

Hahahaha Omfg you so right! As Sam as a self professed narcissist but actually a DIAGNOSED (on camera!) malignant narcissist (basically a narcissist psychopath) that’s EXACTLY what he does with most interviews…..he’s something to watch work

[@brigittecodert1696]

i like the way you say you INVENT the phrases and words that others use not knowing they have narcisist behaviour..

[@lawlsx33]

Can you make a video about your story with anxiety and depression? From how it started and how it is now:)

[@jessxkirby38]

I just have to say. Amazing video/podcast. It was amazing, and if it makes any difference Sam and Scott, this podcast has made a difference for me, so you are not completely 0 in the nihilism context, your work does matter, well at least to me, but then again what matters to me does not objectively makes something matter in itself. So, hay just accept the compliment I guess.

[@fuzzygraytoad]

If you listen closely you’ll realize he’s describing himself

[@AL-tq1or]

Listen more closely so u find out something about you

[@slej_hamer1212]

Great podcast, thanks to dr.Vaknin

[@isabelleella7623]

Nothingness is a point of view, reverse is faith

[@laurakosch]

1:34:15 How do you know that your truth is true? And not a warped vision generated in the dark corridors of your self acknowledged narcissistic mind?

[@austinphillips1889]

Everyone has their own bias on what they perceive as the truth, just like you and I. End of story. However, if this resonates with you, that's fine. If not, whatever. Besides, I would say that the majority of people on Earth are indeed narcissists. You and I are likely no different. Nobody is special.

[@king6238]

Hey bro I really appreciate your content Really helpful ❤

[@ASIOLE_TEURIV]

I agreed in a lot of his theories but he’s not 100% correct which is impossible anyway, I do appreciate that he is trying to help. Grandiose is a way to describe him though lol. This was a rollercoaster of oh god he’s so right ! Oh gawd he’s nuts, oh wow good insight, oh geez what a narcissistic guy , good talk. Thank you! I was enthralled.

[@SonamBewafaNahiHai]

I agree some parts of his speech does help in finding peace, I guess that's a solution of his own constant suffering on the inside. But they're not capable of accepting it and that's why they force it upon themselves, in short they are hard on themselves. But rest of us who are normal, we're capable of accepting it. So that's the only good thing I can take out from this video. I actually feel sad for them. One more huge thing that I agree is that you don't need someone to follow. Nothingness is important to embrace, at the same time society needs to function properly for us to exist and live.

[@maricamaas5555]

Yes, for society to function properly relationships need to be restored between God, us and others. The natural, normal default position of us all, is to be sinful and wicked with the need for redemption from outside ourselves; with the result of being born again in the spirit. And yes, agree that the reason for not overcoming the constant suffering inside, seem to be unwillingness to accept the condition of being a limited human being who is subjected to loss, pain and suffering. To use magical thinking - by pretending that the true self does not exist; this does not remove the self, nor the pain.

[@desireegambino865]

To quote the Professor, “Fuck that!”.

[@EllenDScott]

Thanks for having this very intelligent man as your guest. You handled some unpopular notions with ease. While unpleasant to hear, it sure would have helped me if someone had told me this 20 years ago. Of course then, it would have needed to be stated in a gentler fashion... I look forward to the next installment

[@maricamaas5555]

It does not bother you that as a self-admitted supposed narcissist, he is acting out the very behaviour he warns against?

[@abdullaalteneiji6533]

fact: Victim mentality is when you believe that nothing is wrong with you and anything you do is justified and valid. Also, for the rest of the people, everything is wrong with them, and anything they invalid. Everyone is over reacting to your actions And Person is evil toward so it may start fight. People believe 95% of observation or hear without doubt.

[@fionachristina5620]

2nd time listening to this brilliant 👏

[@HonkyTonkManYeah]

He said that the vast majority of people who get traumatized as kids go on to avoid falling into narcissism, but people just love throwing the term around. There is a market now for middle aged women building stories about their narcissistic husbands

[@martinnhantran]

That's true for the 2 years I learned on self development is just mostly bull sh*t stuff. Self development starts with self love

[@maricamaas5555]

Self help is an oxymoron. Self development / improvement... Why would one embark on this without loving oneself?

[@Devilnero1991]

"By saying the truth I'm better than all the other public intellectuals" Sam's narcissism is leaking out here. Which is forgivable if he could control himself he wouldn't be a narcissist. So be careful before you worship him but I think most things he says have some truth in them.

[@maricamaas5555]

Most dangerous towards ensnaring others: Twisting truth to suit one's false narrative. With Sam easy to pick up, since constantly contradicting himself, and acting out what he warns against.

[@Devilnero1991]

@@maricamaas5555 I do believe his lectures on narcissism and psychopathy are beneficial though. But it's better not to worship people everyone has flaws, especially someone who admits to have a problem

[@maricamaas5555]

@@Devilnero1991 There are hidden treasures in the dark; in a way SV is like a dragon hoarding gold. To get to know how an enemy operates, is important? Yet, one has be careful to not be staring too long into the abyss... It is light that pushes back darkness.

[@maricamaas5555]

@@Devilnero1991 Yes, in principle not to worship the created human being in place of The Creator... However, someone who admits to have a problem - like all of us do; being vulnerable enough to admit to being a supposed victim; this can be a tool to attract others (a wolf in sheep clothing)?

[@Devilnero1991]

@@maricamaas5555 There's a quote by Sri Krishna in the epic Mahabharata. Not the exact quote but it goes something like this, "You should trust everyone..for who they are" Meaning distrusting people beyond that point is a lack of faith in God. It is, trying to play God. Sam likes being right, lecturing people and all that. And he definitely has the credentials.

[@MarthaPond-c9k]

You can affect many individuais through kindness just by moment to moment attunement and compassion. Maybe that’s an element that can’t be documented. It is however real and can’t be measured by externals.

[@ioannafardella3717]

An individual (as a whole) can t be affected by anyone. Someone may "help" others by being himself so e.g 2 people have developed a real, meaningful connection. Through emotional/cognitive empathy, sharing emotions etc. So by being the person "affected" others aspects (also express himself/be as i think of it..). Because just with being kind, compassionate..if other elements aren t there i doubt this person affects anyone (in reality & apart from the cases like his children or people who aren t in touch with themselves..bcs in such a case the persons aren t "equal"/there s some power dynamic. Disordered people can do what you say & they can affect certain people in specific ways imo..

[@ct00001]

To accept one's nothingness is, ironically, profoundly liberating. You're not letting go of anything real, you're only letting go of delusion. It's the delusion which enslaves us.

[@ioannafardella3717]

He doesn t let go of anything real but we do let go of something real: our self & humanity (by accepting & live/be through the illusions NPD/ASPD/normal unaware, far from themselves, who chose fantasy ppl provide us). That s what happens, no? People in cities live like predators or it s my observation (maybe i see it more intensely bcs i m a woman alone & i can t find a lawayer etc. Always some people would behave like predators but now it s the rule. I m in Greece/Europe with 750$/month so i recognise that affects ppl but still..it happens.

[@ct00001]

@@ioannafardella3717I would submit for your consideration that the self is not actually real. It's just another idea. You are not your thoughts, your self, feelings, your identity. These are all secondary. I agree that predation thrives in cities. Cities are not natural environments. We no longer need to live on top of each other in order to stay connected. I moved out of the city years ago, much recommended:)

[@ioannafardella3717]

​@@ct00001your decision to leave the city was a consequence of having a core self. & a solution to not lose yourself/ your humanity at the city. Someone with a disturbed sense of self couldn t had made this choice. He wouldn t need to (bcs only inside an impersonal urban environment this individual could exist) but saying that he moved for a reason.. this decision wouldn t have the meaning it has for you. It d be meaningless & fluid. It wouldn/couldn t be an expression, a choise, a solution at the person s issue. Such a person listens to music, posts something, everything is just superficial. Idk how they live like that (& in combination with other issues that coexist). Yes, we aren t something special etc but we ARE. Maybe they should develop methods on eliminating this core self (for the unfortunate ones who s personality developed that way..). People with disorders beleive they re the next stage of evolution. Disorders that affect the way the person perceives reality & emotions. I read these things online & i freaked. But it s real, they define things /- my - way of existing. Lucky that i don t have children.

[@ranc1977]

1:19:11 "Psychiatrists and psychologists treat conditions. No longer treat patients. They guy who gave you a pill - gave the pill not to you, but your depression, was treating not you but your depression. " And this is the most damaging with social anxiety. Socially anxious come to get help about the Self - and DSM and CBT offer them nothing but diagnosis and treatment of symptoms. Which socially anxious confuse with Self. And then socially anxious person starts to build false Self - based on diagnosis. CBT and DSM ought to be banned - they are doing incredible psychological damage to targets of psychopaths who end up with panic symptoms , pathologized as social anxiety by DSM.

[@ioannafardella3717]

Think about it..are you sure nowdays therapies, solutions provided, choices on how to live etc aim to make the person healthy? Find his self or rather to exist with the ego like NPD (& other pd ppl) do bcs that s all they re capable of really knowing?⁰

[@ranc1977]

@@ioannafardella3717 Yes. With CBT anyone struggling with social anxiety will be told that their brain is abnormal that their brain is producing distortions. But - CBT does not investigate whether this person was and still is being abused and inside toxic ambient. Nor does CBT tells such person to be himself - because inside Iran if this person is homo, then being authentic himself would be sentenced to death.. Not better situation is in the Balkans, in supposed democracies.

[@ranc1977]

@fardella3717 BBC documentary from 2002 "The Century of Self" exposes those conservative psychiatrist as dangerous for society. They use psychology to sell and make money - not to actually help anyone.

[@ranc1977]

@@ioannafardella3717 " Psychology the way it s writen now, thinks that a healthy personality includes a core self" I would be pragmatic. All mental illness stems from exposure to toxic people - Sam Vaknin also said that, I am para-phrasing, I am talking about situation where child cannot choose where to go and he is exposed to verbal abuse in child years when child brain is developing. Or someone living in toxic country where mobbing is common and there is inability to escape the country due to visa and lack of money. Anyone who never lived at ex Balkan countries cannot realize what mobbing means. It is someone slapping you, physically assaulting you at work and verbally abusing you 12h a day. And you can't quit due to lack of finances. Living in such social ambient that is prison and mental asylum of open type - will lead to destroyed mental health. Codependents living in toxic marriage know what I am talking about. Psychology of CBT ignores this. CBT ignores because this toxic ambient is unthinkable in USA. In America anyone can move 5000 km away from slum and get a job at any time and the job will cover up flat and food. In Balkans this is impossible. People are trapped in impossible situations. ". It s like if i told at a npd person to live w his real self/the void-collapsed." The way I understand the Nothingness - it is really anti dote to narcissism because it tells the narc to be nothing. This way his real self is gone. And the only self that should be developed is the one inside - something that narcs never completed in ACE childhood. Nothingness works like magic for social anxiety too - people who are trapped in impossible situations of mobbing like living in Balkans - to protect oneself from verbal assault of mentally ill people around.

[@ranc1977]

@@ioannafardella3717 " Nowdays the situation is such that we don t talk about changing the economic system or the form of the constitution" People cannot change something if the are immersed into system - because pathological system (such as narcissism) is pathological liar it is both manipulative and controlling. This means - if we were to change narcissistic marriage and assault - we would be told we are too sensitive, that we are abnormal, that we we are hallucinating problems , and we could not advocate ourselves. Toxic people are skillful in manipulation and control - this is something that they brushed the tool since they are 4 years old. When the rest of us discovered people, nature, comedy, sports, love - narcissists and psychopaths were highly focused on domination and torturing other people in order to feel anything. This is extremely hard for normal people to understand because it is not understandable that people like that could exist. Because we are normal we cannot phantom the abnormal brain - we do not have reference point. That is why we cannot change narcissists - we do not have tools to target their Achilles foot. This is why Nothingness is our only tool to protect our sanity and move away when possible and live in cocoon when we are trapped inside toxic ambient. Robot system that you speak about - is dysfunctional. It does not work in real life, it is build on counterfactual fantasy - and as such will crumble down on its own. Because it is dysfunctional.

[@Lindsay4182]

He sounds like a narcissist himself

[@ThatGirl-tg7wd]

Do your research

[@Lindsay4182]

ThatGirl explain

[@liisaselenius6579]

Yes that perhaps the reason he knows what he talks about

[@Lindsay4182]

Liisa Selenius no doubt in my mind that you are correct

[@Lindsay4182]

Lindsey Brill I was new to his videos when I posted. After watching several videos I eventually came across the video where he admits it. Now that takes intelligence. I didn’t think it was possible for a narcissist to admit it. Just goes to show how much I know about the world lol. I have a toxic family. Extremely toxic. All my cousins have the same neurosis as me. Hmm wonder why? The apples don’t fall far from the tree. All the adult boomers in my family refuse to admit it. It’s like talking to a wall.

[@leeboriack8054]

Note: Sam lives in Russia where democracy is a 4 letter word. However his insights on narcissism are brilliant.

[@McD-j5r]

Very interesting how many people reacted badly to the realism of Sam Vaknin’s speech. Emotional re-actions comes easily from humans - especially in the West.

[@fainitesbarley2245]

First time I’ve disagreed with Vaknin. There isn’t huge social mobility but there is enough for it to be significant. Both ways. And regarding slavery - the lives of domestic servants and farm labourers were similar in many respects - but people valued their freedom. We know this from records.

[@ioannafardella3717]

The social mobility i see (by normal people) is towards denying their human nature. They accepted/live like the disordered do. Apart from the explotion of mentally ill people the last 50y masses behavior has changed enormously. Nothing to do with 20y ago. A woman alone will be exploited just by trying to be e.g find a lawyer. People behave like predators i m surprised by what you say. & even if there was a huge social mobility (towards resisting to comply to alternate their nature/be with emotions, self, emotional empathy) i m not sure it isn t too late. I m talking by observing people who live in western cities - at a village things would be different.

[@nasiftahmeed6776]

Can i call this abuse if my father insults me. Like he always insults me by insulting my mother infront of me and even saying many offensive things like he always tells to me i dont do anything for him and the way i interect with my mother is indecent.he insults me if my mother talks to me much and if i share something to her. He even insults me if i make any silly jokes about my cousins or him.

[@josephineananda]

Yes.

[@elainebraindrain3174]

Do you have a discussion on the role of religion and narcissism?

[@jsblastoff]

It’s clear he thinks he understands it all. And if you don’t think so your probably a narcissist or a syco. Never heard someone play the victim card so much while meanwhile decrying victimhood. Broad stereotyping and generalizations left and right. Also calm down!!

[@helenatroy33]

Wow, accept you're zero. Accepting that you are nothing is actually what religion has been teaching for thousands of years.

[@heathermason7875]

32:11 the host is being very tricky with his language and is implying ONLY the left is psychopathically weaponizing victimhood. Sam is too smart for this and reverses it by using a right-wing archetype who can and often DOES use language also weaponizing victimhood. You can't play a player because game recognizes game. If you believe one side is always flawless and always the victim, then you're in a cult and you're getting played by the same side you so vehemently defend. Good interview besides that, but I wanted to point that out.

[@di3486]

Right wing is virtually non existent

[@narcabusevictimgermany9687]

Personality is not real. Character is.

[@maricamaas5555]

Character develops over time. As I understand, when it comes to personality, we differ when it comes to the 5 big traits (openness, conscientiousness, extrovert/introvert, agreeable vs assertive, and neurotisism); these traits are not fixed; we can work on them in order to become more balanced.

[@Amor-Fati.]

Sir please don't say you regret your putting your work out there because of the used car salesman of Psychiatry. I don't think I would be alive today, without your discovery. When your reality becomes so altered, over and over again, with different people. You either withdraw from life in seclusion or take your life. I almost did the latter. Ty for saving my life and my sanity

[@Jennifer-gr7hn]

The solution to the plandmic was a medication that won a Nobel prize in 2015, and some OTC supplements - easy peasy. This doctor is GOLD...but he doesn't know this like many of us do. Otherwise, excellent

[@Amor-Fati.]

I would love proper analysis. For so long I begged someone to tell me what am I doing wrong

[@tonyx2802]

1. "I invented 95% of current narcissistic phrases." 2. "People believe 95% of information fed to them without questioning it." I can't wait for Sam to receive some personal revelation

[@6Haunted-Days]

Ummmm ya could go back 30yrs and SEE CLEARLY he was the 1st so there’s THAT. Do you know much about him? When I got his book in 2002 there was NOTHING ZLICH in the field on narcissistic abuse and all this entails. So yea he was the first. Sorry it bothers that someone has to be the first and it’s him. Be an adult and maybe do some research first. You just assume he’s making it up. Just as bad so arrogance isn’t warranted either.

[@Stranded360]

Got pretty good near the end =) calling out the scummy psych field and the bullshit that goes on!

[@carolgerber6375]

Doesn't this apply to Sam as well? I, I, I...listen to him!

[@sospita_]

The problem is if your not smarmy and think your the best thing on earth your just a stepping stone a scapegoat or looser as JP would say.

[@AdamSzm]

The public "intellectual" that Sam Vaknin did not name but chewed out in this interview is Jordan Peterson.

[@stellar52]

"Stop your victim mentality" is gaslighting used by abusers. They don't want to be reminded of being bad people who hurt others. Also, these abusers are mainly Narcissists and they hate when the attention is not on them

[@puffchickpam1]

Someone needs to say it

[@stellar52]

@@puffchickpam1 This way, it's just further abuse.

[@francisnkum9179]

There are two types of victims in my view. Those who have been abused really and so are victims. The other is those who pose as victims just to get attention, so they always have the victim mindset, and that's how they get you to pity them and rip you of your resources

[@aliciamarie9704]

I’ve already failed as a parent.

[@depressiontoexpression]

I highly doubt that :)

[@alejandramarquez6804]

@@depressiontoexpression Dont say that. Maybe she did. Maybe she needs another type of help. We cannot sipmple say nice things. We can help each other in the truth. If she failed, ask her why? To prevent others. Cheers.

[@latinas2893]

Alejandra Marquez IMHO the fact that she is expressing how she feels as a mother, also shows how much she cares about her children. In that sense, there is nothing that she might have done that would possible make her a failure because regardless of the outcome she tried her best.

[@latinas2893]

Alicia, Sometimes I feel the same 💕

[@alejandramarquez6804]

@Victoria Akomseli caramelo Definitely humain brain it is deficient.

[@moonlove194]

Everybody needs to see this!!!!!

[@Siempre_azulcrema5]

Traduce pues

[@moonlove194]

@@Siempre_azulcrema5 Me encantaría pero sí es bastante 😅 ojalá que pronto Scott de la opción de subtitulos en español

[@depressiontoexpression]

Agreed!

[@moonlove194]

@@depressiontoexpression Scott, is there a way to help you with the spanish subtitles? Like a psychologist here in Mexico i would like to share all of your videos with my colleagues and patients 🥺

[@Siempre_azulcrema5]

I do understand. Sorrryyyy

[@WayWalker3]

Sam is a realist, seeing and saying how reality is. By pathologising the pursuit of delusional ideas, we have created a self-destructive pathway to a separation from reality. In doing so, we develop a deep immunity against reality, which is at the core of all belief systems and ideologies. Not nice to hear, unfortunately.

[@helenatroy33]

A self proclaimed narcissist claiming he is obligated to tell the truth?? This is a funny old world.

[@antonioschaupp2047]

Sam vaknin is like a mirrored jordan peterson ))))

[@maricamaas5555]

'The answer is Jesus Christ, no matter what the question' as Martyn Iles points out.

[@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE]

LMFAO! Around the 50 minute mark he started devaluing everyone into their own pit of despair! 😂

[@narcabusevictimgermany9687]

Wow that’s so true!!!! But it’s that this God invention is not an invention! God comes into your fatigue gap if you faint when you idealize Someone too much (same as being a Fan). But you can call entities whatever you want into your fatigue gaps....for example can you ask Ravens if they carry you once you are too weak or trees also. It’s not only god based or based on asking humans for help.

[@maricamaas5555]

The question being Who in the beginning Created the ravens, trees, humans, and the universe? The theory of evolution is a belief system - without scientific proof.

[@jessxkirby38]

he says 12 rules book, public intellectural, political identity, ... does anyone else think maybe he is talking about Jordan Peterson? Think about it, just go watch Jordan Peterson's videos and how he talks down to others as not knowing and he has the answers. I think it was just me that noticed this, but I do not know, Maybe Sam is agreeing with my assumptions about Peterson.

[@josephineananda]

Yes.

[@maricamaas5555]

At least one can make sense of what JBP says, and learn much that is useful; he seems to be someone continiously seeking for truth outside of himself, and does not contradict himself? Contrary to this, there's SV's arrogance in combination with resentment; this while acting out self-created delusional magical thinking - often contradicting himself, while admitting to his need for constant supply to regulate himself - even by being willfully abusive...

[@HonkyTonkManYeah]

@@maricamaas5555 you must really love the internet if you think him speaking through youtube videos qualifies as “abuse”. Catch a chill pill, drama queen

[@elainebraindrain3174]

The zero concept is traumatic, like the religious concept we are worthless sinners.

[@sonicnurse7465]

Obviously this man is extraordinarily smart, kudos to that. But this podcast leaves me slightly confused and highly annoyed. It gives listeners this false sense of hearing an interview with an expert for psychology/psychiatry of some sort, but Mr. Vaknin is not an expert. Neither his professional background nor his replies (umm, I mean monologues?) suggest he has any substantial expertise on the things he’s talking about. I listened to the podcast because I usually love DTE podcasts (and all of Scott’s content) and wanted to learn more about narcissism since I believe my dad to be a narcissist. I thought it was interesting what Mr. Vaknin said about viewing narcissism as post traumatic stress disorder. I was sure he’s a psychiatric doctor or at least an educated therapist of some sort because of the way he presented himself and was introduced by Scott. But soon I realized he can’t possibly be a scientist and probably not a therapist with non-academic background either because of the way he, phrased his sentences, voiced his opinion and superficially mentioned studies (some of which seemed... just very unrealistic in their nature and probably questionable in terms of quality). He’s just a smooth talker (and narcissist, as the comment section suggest - no surprise but something that you guys should’ve mentioned at the beginning), who has the ability to come across as extremely knowledgeable. But it’s important to ask where all that alleged knowledge is from. I mean, how the heck can he diagnose Trump as a narcissist? I hate Trump’s guts so I’d call him anything... but diagnosing someone from a distance without even holding a degree?? Come on! This is way below DTE quality. And honestly Scott I think you didn’t do a great job in hosting this podcast. I thought you’re talking to a “Russian professor” from the way you introduced him - but this guy’s from Israel, and he doesn’t hold a single higher education title or PhD. Please correct me if I’m wrong, but I researched his background on his own website. So I must say I feel misled, and the thing is, it would’ve been your responsibility to communicate more transparently. But the part that actually infuriated me was when he said -something along the lines of- the policeman kneeling on George Floyd’s neck was trash, but Mr. Floyd was trash too. WtF? Scott, how in the hell could you sit there and not react to this? Him saying this is equal to relativizing the symbolism of Mr. Floyd’s death, which is that structural, institutionalized racism exists and that white people exploit BIPoC on a daily basis. Or does he not agree? Do you agree, Scott? This isn’t boohoo victimhood, it’s everyday life for these people and it’s our responsibility as white people to bring along change and be explicitly anti racist. I can’t believe that Mr. Vaknin, coming from Israel himself, talks about victimhood and discrimination in such a condescending way. And then stuff like, “you can earn money with victimhood, ask any black person”. Are you kidding me? This white man, Mr. wannabe psycho nihilist Vaknin, takes 300 dollars for a phone consultation - errrr, without even being a mental health professional. Also, no, he didn’t invent narcissism, he didn’t do any scientific research in the field, maybe he confuses himself with Freud or Kohut? Anyways, I should stop now, because I’m getting readibly enraged (sorry for that). But I do hope that you read this, Scott, and please consider a) differentiating more in terms of who you invite to a podcast and b) how you host them. If you’d have gotten into a conversation with Mr. Vaknin about his views - fair enough. But you didn’t seem critical about what he was saying at all and that saddens me.

[@maricamaas5555]

Most helpful comment reflecting critical thinking... When it comes to SV's true identity and credentials: Could these be constructions of his magical thinking - confabulated as part of his shared fantasy?

[@AL-tq1or]

Damn. How triggered u Are... i follow vaknins lections for 3 years. What u Are critisising He explained so often so well That i Would just sax in his Words.. Search the Channel

[@hump180]

The truth hurts

[@onedividedbyzero]

The truth hurts…coming out of mouth of one that lives in phantasy by itself and uses lies and phantasy to get the fuels out of his victims. Anyone?

[@ioannafardella3717]

​@@onedividedbyzeroYes but does it really matters from who the truth comes..? It does but at this point there aren t many ppl who do that so.. In reality we can t know anyone s intelletual s intentions - bcs we don t personally know the individual. He describes reality - what /how other disordered ppl manipulate the masses & turn them into robots. Personally i knew & i was preoccupied by this reality since high school that we discussed about this narcis sistic society. 25y ago. It s 5y i have social & i m surprised that ppl seem indifferent, unaware, like it isn t important idk..but i mean Sam Vaknin describes reality & provides help. We can listen & then do our research, think.. just saying bcs i found that more productive than react w feeling (reject someone s words bcs we would be ennemies in real life)

[@explorergt8640]

People are victimized by sin. People are accountable for sin come Judgment Day unless they have accepted Christ as their Savior who paid for their sins on the Cross. If sin is harmless as you claim then Christ died for nothing. Sin is deadly. And no human philosophizing will ever change that. The only way out of sin is thru Jesus Christ. "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man comes unto the Father but by Me." (John 14:6)