MBTI INTJ Dating and Intimacy

[@elmoomle4565]

More 'mature' INTJs have no problem adapting to pretty much any social interaction or large group setting...we can be rather 'chameleon' as that is not difficult for us. - We do, for the most part, simply conclude that participating in most social situations with 'non-like minded' individuals is simply a matter of, ' the juice is not worth the squeeze'. - Literally, I would rather be alone than spend time with individuals where there is no mutual interest/understanding. We're generally very intolerant when dealing with things/events/people that don't align with our standards and especially so during 'non-work' hours.

[@rae8961]

Comparing us to a chameleon is very accurate. I believed I was an infj for a long time because I force myself to be overly kind to strangers, but I think this is just myself trying to water down any conflict.

[@dragon_nova_luna]

I relate to this. thank you. I still lack social cues and am blunt or awkward at times, but I learned to adapt to a few things and social situations(strong opinions still remain so im still the alien). but as you said, I'd rather spend time alone than socialize with people that talk about shallow things or have nothing in common with me. I do try to improve still, as well as become as calm as I was when younger. as I got older, I'm very bothered by people that question my motives , values and authenticity, as well as discard my opinions, feelings or principles as childish or otherwise. or people that are fine with the way things are, as corrupt as they are. it makes me too upset with hierarchy and their incompetence.

[@ceyx1201]

Tnx for elaborating for them.

[@windihari]

Yes! Being Navy Brat I had to chameleon every two years and make new friends with every move. What ever didn't work in the last neighborhood was thrown out and new strategies implemented in the new one.

[@bangtanbangtan4989]

social events with boring small talks and fake laughs/smiles and fake interest...... pass. can’t blame us. time is valuable. we like genuine people with a genuine connection which is tough, but not impossible, to come by in a social gathering. so it’s not that we find social gatherings difficult, it’s unbearable. also, through experience we have learnt that not many people can grasp / understand our thoughts nor share the same enthusiasm as us about said topic which will eventually lead to - why bother? 🤷🏻‍♀️ hence, we prefer genuine people with genuine connection, not those that pretend to be interested just to keep the conversation going or appear friendly. we can tell very clearly. hence, we prefer one on one / very tiny group of open minded people who genuinely wants to hear what we have to say and provide genuine feedback and not “yea yea yea... omg did i tell you about (switch to another boooring superficial topic) ?”

[@lunastariaspiritdiva8662]

I think I can really make an INTJ guy happy as an INFJ girl, I'll handle all the boring superficial topics with guests, so he can be left alone :). We wouldn't really have guests that often anyway, because as a fellow Introvert I also don't like people, but sometimes I'd host the family gatherings ~

[@ezpz4646]

@@lunastariaspiritdiva8662 Typical INFJ martyr. My gf is INFJ and I love tf out of her. Would never allow her to self sacrifice like this. ~intj

[@mattblom3990]

I'm an ENFP and met an INTJ yesterday. She was so mysterious I couldn't tell what she thought about me the whole time. I didn't find her socially awkward at all.

[@bonkahermitakaintjudge9228]

What do you mean we tend to believe we are always are right? We are always right. lol. Good job, interesting stuff. Thanks

[@lunastariaspiritdiva8662]

It is incredibly hard to deal with this part of you guys! ~

[@epistte]

INTJs are very willing to admit that we are wrong if you can prove it with facts and logical discussion but emotions claims will be rejected and if you continue them out fangs will come out and the sarcasm/satire will emerge. We don't like and have no desire to take part in social chitchat unless the people in question are our intellectual equals. Then we are velcro and don't want to leave.

[@mysticfox1563]

Lunastaria SpiritDiva, so prove us wrong. Turns out we like that too.

[@bonkahermitakaintjudge9228]

Mystic Fox wish I could understand your whole message Lol. Thanks for your response.

[@crusader4481]

Look im not right all the time. Just most of time.

[@psychonautmaddy7409]

I'm an INFJ who has been dating an INTJ, and we understand each other more than anyone, especially when it comes to relationship goals ❤

[@ShowMeMo]

I am INTJ-T and my husband is not. I love him but if he were to leave or pass away before me, I will doubtfully ever get married again. It's difficult if not impossible to find someone on the same intellectual and maturity level.

[@rae8961]

Same. I understand that humans can fall in love very easily. But it doesn't feel right to move on from a partner that left us against their will.

[@tongayao2927]

I’m INTJ-A women and I totally agree with what you said.

[@nickgior3849]

Guys seriously I am an INTJ and I haven't had any relationship yet while many friends of mine have already start dating. This happens due to the fact that my personality is totally different from other guys around me and many girls consider it as "weird" and "unusual" because I am generally more serious than others and I don't like small talk. As I have noticed the 75% of people that I know in the area that I live are mostly ESxx.

[@nickgior3849]

@Atomic Tranquility same to me. Although I am a good looking person ( I noticed that almost every time many girls staring or smiling at me) but when we start talking they think I am unusual, more serious than average due to the "death stare ". Regarding my friendships I don't have a lot ( only 3 persons) because as you said all the others prefer the fake version of myself and they don't like my "real" one. My parents are very good ones but unfortunately our personalities are totally different and they don't understand why I like being alone for hours reading books or use my mobile phone (on holidays ) while other teenagers in my age like socializing with each other. My parents also call me sometimes "cold " or "robot " because I don't show my emotions and I am very direct in communication. In addition they don't like the fact that I don't use social media as the " normal " people in my age does, because I personally think that is useless and annoying.

[@asmaaali630]

Hello, both INTJs, I wanna tell you that there's someone out there who would understand you and love you for the real you, without having to fake any. You only need one person to connect with and that person would come sooner or later so, just be yourself and someone would fall for your charm 🌸

[@t5396]

@Atomic Tranquility where are you from?

[@lunastariaspiritdiva8662]

@@nickgior3849 Basic Psychology 101 and Myer's Briggs Personality Profiles should be a required subject in all schools. Parents don't know anything, and everyone needs to get educated on why INTJs, INFJs, and INTPs are so rare/different/weird. This would also help poor INFPs who are usually ignored in life entirely, because they can't speak up and need public speaking lessons, and poor ISFJs. Make sure that people don't continously take ISFJs for granted, and use them because of their kind empathetic compassionate heart, and teach them about us Introverts ~

[@lunastariaspiritdiva8662]

@@asmaaali630 Yep, this INFJ girl wants herself an INTJ guy ~ Has to be the correct guy though, no one else for me, I'm rather particular! ~

[@Valentina4ever2]

I love my husband who’s an intj 😁I’m an enfp and my husband is my best friend on earth and though I’m more expressive I love how our core values are really similar and we take Love really seriously! I love my husband and I would never want to be married to anyone else 😁my husband is my best friend on earth

[@harlinaindra6679]

Aren't you the perfect match for an INTJ ?

[@Valentina4ever2]

@@harlinaindra6679 yes 😁 enfp and Intj's really are the perfect match. My husband and I are still happily married and we only grow closer. He's my best friend that I get to call my husband 🥰🥰

[@brandongrayson456]

@@harlinaindra6679 enfp or infp...my wife is an infp and we've been together since our teen years, it can be a bit turbulent at time but I couldn't imagine spending my life with anyone else.

[@hersheykisseys]

dating an INTJ :) I can see that he really likes me but others cannot see that LOL

[@anonygent]

I kind of like INFJ's. They have the warm fuzzies that I lack but aren't so different that I can't relate.

[@sentricz_devkep7525]

anonygent Same here!

[@lunastariaspiritdiva8662]

I represent these fuzzies and snuggly cozzies ~

[@maddog12186]

I just realized I was an intj when I started dating an infj before that I thought i was infj. Best relationship I have ever been in.

[@ingrid5944]

ENFP in love with an INTJ. I just feel like getting closer to him but he said he's not thinking about a relationship right now, he was cheated by his ex girlfriend and he said he's focused on himself... I found him on the internet and I told him to add me on Facebook. Little did I knew I would fall in love with him hahaha For me it was just some other guy that I met xD I feel so comfortable talking to him and he's so caring and wants me to be a better person ❤️ I love him already! He's so precious!! I just want the best for him, no matter if we're staying together or not! ❤️❤️❤️

[@Raidon484]

Well that's a bummer. Though, I can only speak from the other point of view, because I'm an INTJ, but general advice for such situations is probably "have much patience"

[@caitlynryder8639]

I have a crush on an INTJ. He keeps giving me homework. I'm reading the 33 Strategies of War. It's awesome. I'm an ENTP

[@wisswiss8561]

Well that's awesome

[@GarryDavidson157]

Haha)) this.

[@lindagarcia5908]

I’m ENFJ female 3 years almost with intj male I agree with this video but I found an article 9 reasons why ENFJ and intj are a power couple match we compliment each other weaknesses, we keep working on our communication and have trust in each other.

[@m.m1988]

Soon i will mary an ENfj female and i am an Intj we have some time stupid conflit she is not logical as much as i am and we have some misunderstood but in most of time its good deal and we love itch others 😘

[@twinsunsunburn5878]

INTJ is in the best match list for an INTJ. Lol.

[@reuellefaith5800]

It is interesting how ISTJs aren’t listed as potential matches for INTJs. They do share a lot in common as far as what they each require from relationships (honesty, direct communication, intellect, logic, alone time , etc). I do believe that introvert-introvert relationships should be encouraged more; They’re just as workable as with other opposites .

[@nokota]

Reuelle Faith been workable for me for over 8 years

[@Kingfishgraybar]

I'm ISTJ and my wife is INTJ. Happily married for 20 years.

[@opheliapurple]

I always find them similar in all the wrong ways. Logical and stubborn, but with very different values and not a lot of interest in discussing non-tangible or irrelevant things. It's easy to clash or feel alienated.

[@Evett-x4g]

When i don't agree, i keep silent or ignore though it can be felt hard inside, don't understand why i need to live in such a way..

[@windihari]

Yes! Describes me to a "t" so glad I found an independent INTP for a husband. :)

[@avneet5219]

As an INTJ I'm working under the Radar on my Purpose in solitude and I'm planning to go Big in building a social circle. I'm planning to join public speaking club, gym, motivational seminars, and a bunch of other places where I can meet a ton of people and exchange numbers and the first message I'm gonna send to them is- Hey I like to know you more, can you fill this personality test. And this way I'm gonna build a massive trusted loyal army of quality people that will contain INTJs, INFPs, INFJs, ISTJs and ENFPs. I'm gonna play massive numbers game and I will build a selected inner circle. But currently let me just focus on my Purpose...

[@excusemequeencomingthrough7684]

Aight your speechs are very useful. Noted.

[@TurboBusters]

Enfp should be on best match for sure

[@lunastariaspiritdiva8662]

Yet, wouldn't INFJ be? INTJs like a mystery? Aren't ENFPs so open and bubbly, that they aren't much of a mystery? Perhaps, the Extroversion gets to be to much, and INFJ can give the same bubbly personality, while sharing a lot of INTJs hate for people, and darker sense of humor. INFJs love scarcasm, dark humor, satire, and have a great sense of fun just like ENFPs, and are far closer to INTJs in terms of personality ~

[@rareaqqle]

At 6:32 I noticed INFP had been put twice for good and bad compatibilities and ISTJ was nowhere found e_e also curiously, where would the ISTJs fall under?

[@Irieliciousness]

Wondering the same...

[@ARayV]

Slow to start. Well, now I understand better, and I love him more for it. I'm willing to wait for however long it takes.

[@SyriusLee]

Its worth it, he just need to explore the infinite possibilities of your match, and then creat a structured way to the relationship haeven with you on hes side. If he is working to improve your relationship in any way than you are the most important person for him. Just be patient.

[@Goofymonkey12345]

How did it work out ? They definitely are slow to start and It made me think he just wasnt into me. Still being patient though

[@meagiesmuse2334]

Amanda Asgard - Please don't wait too long. Women have a marriage clock. Men all want the youngest, most fertile woman they can get. I left an alpha male who wanted to marry me for my INTJ. I waited for 10 years, even giving up my career to where he had his job, while he continued to see me only 3 nights a week, as if we were still only 20 yrs. old. The lack of emotional information from him, plus my age, finally pushed me to try to have a serious talk about the future and he ran. I was left alone at age 33, my career gone. Just be sure you are being realistic and ask your questions, no matter how much he resists. Refusal to give a solid answer is an answer! At age 35, a women is more likely to be struck by lightening than to get a marriage proposal. Men do not have that problem.

[@Juju-tw7we]

infp here dating intj hahah

[@gabrielolofernes6247]

I am an INTJ , courting an ISFJ. Well its kinda toxic. I hate it. But I don't know how to leave a bad relationship.

[@Macdaddy590]

Restraining order is a good start.

[@LAStars-sratS]

Did you leave? Seriously, grow a Backbone, this is your life you're talking about. You said you hate it!

[@c.lurign3905]

Yeah mine is ISFP I feel it

[@wc4074]

At least you're smart enough to know. I'm intj too. I've been there. Read/research 'the rational male'. Your life will change

[@ektasharma3520]

If you hate it then just either tell the person on the face or start by cutting off the contact.

[@AlastorTheNPDemon]

ENTP a "worst match"? Are you sure about that? I think they're all sorts of fun and fun to have philosophical discussion with. The closely related ESTP though? God help me...

[@WarsOfate]

There's another channel named 'intj island' here, his wife is entp & he loves her so much. I think 35 years going strong or so.

[@AlastorTheNPDemon]

@@WarsOfate I thought he said she is an ESTP. Apparently they get on each other's nerves in the off occasion, but are otherwise quite satisfied with one another.

[@WarsOfate]

@@AlastorTheNPDemon whoops .....you're correct & it's actually 43 years, my mistake.

[@lunastariaspiritdiva8662]

INTJs can't stand Extroverted Sensors so how does that work out? I think ENFP works because they are feelers and fellow Intuitives, but I'm a bit surprised that the Intuitive ENTP is ranked below the Sensor ESTP... *boggles*.

[@wisswiss8561]

@@lunastariaspiritdiva8662 well idk if you have seen an ENTP before . But I can tell you myself I'm introvert more than extrovert . And yeah we are known as the (introvert/extrovert type) . I can be social like no one else . And I can be more introvert than introverts themselves. ENTP is awesome ..you just don't know about them, or you're broke

[@igame15]

"Enjoys a healthy, logical debate" "ENTP Worst Match" Hmmmm...

[@WarsOfate]

There's another channel named 'intj island' here, his wife is entp & he loves her so much. I think 35 years going strong or so.

[@lunastariaspiritdiva8662]

It doesn't mean it won't work out, maybe it just doesn't work well or easily for most. It might be more difficult and challenging but still highly fun ~ Everyone has different desires and requirements after all ~

[@basharshami3403]

@S W sus

[@ImeneTassadit]

truueee

[@tongayao2927]

So who are the kindred souls to INTJ?

[@DiogenesNephew]

If I seem to think I'm always right, it's only because my experiences have reinforced that ;) Just kidding. I'll say, however, that I personally state my thoughts and assertions in such a way that I'm easily off the hook if I'm wrong. Not because I'm not okay with being wrong, but because it's rarely appropriate to deal in certitude.

[@nonchalantd]

I always wonder why being stubborn is a bad thing if you are objectively right or if you are doing something that is right for you.

[@supersaiyan8437]

It’s not people just don’t like when they can’t control you

[@ImeneTassadit]

I'm sorry, but honestly... My boyfriend is an INTP and it's like we're made for eachother... and honestly, being INTP's significant other, proves for me it's really one of the Best Match for the INTJ personality type, because... i went reading a lot compatibility for my personality type, and I found out honestly that for me at least... being such a peculiar INTJ myself, I found out that my INTP is the best match for me... and I think that we are simply made eachother so... yeah, talking about personal thoughts about it... for me INT's are trully the best match for one another... and you can run around lots of forums or blogs where you can find out people having a very healthy and fullfiling and everlasting relationships between INTJs and INTPs, being simply married for with one another and living happily with eachother... so, yes in the end, maybe it's just a perosnal opinion and maybe my strong belief in this concept itself, but of course... it's true that two well developed individuals from any personality type, can make work vey well. But, here what I think ... it's not fair to put that INTJ is the best match in the INTP dating video... and not saying the same in this one... maybe it kinda annoying for me perosnlly, which is i'm sorry about, but, really.. why? Anyway, though, I'm really happy to see that they put the INTP is one of INTJs Kindred Souls... which mean like... logically, since in the marriage video it's looks the best matchs, i think it's only natural to but that INTPs are one of the best matchs for the INTJ.... And here you go people. Wish you all well, pay attention to yourselves. I wish you all happiness and everlasting healthy and fullfiling relationships and loving partner. Long Live, thank you.

[@TheHighCooker]

I'm so glad that someone pointed this out. I'm an INTP and for sure my best matches are ENTJ and INTJ. I will explain why. Extroverted functions are trying to connect to introverted functions, that's how it works, TE is trying to reach TI and the same with the others, we have different levels of awareness on the functions, so for example, as an INTP my most developed function is TI, so in a match with an ENTJ, the TE hero is communicating with my TI hero, as both are hero functions, the level of awareness is more or less the same, this goes for all functions. As an INTP, trying to date someone with TE demon is a nightmare because their ego doesn't produce what my ego consumes. Also, when the same two functions are on the ego, it may lead to competition, for example between INFJ and INTP, as both share TI, it leads to conflict because no one is providing enough TE to fulfil the other's needs and then they compete to see who is the most logical one(hint:INTP wins in this case). This works perfectly for E/INTP-E/INTJ. INTP TI-NE-SI-FE ENTP NE-TI-FE-SI INTJ NI-TE-FI-SE ENTJ TE-NI-SE-FI This means that the INTJ consumes the INTP's NE and FE and the INTP consumes the INTJ's TE and SE, and because the level of awareness of both types on those functions is similar, the understanding is fluid and easy. Some say that ENTP is better for INTJ as the hero communicates with the hero and so on, but I disagree, the best part of connecting a hero function with a parent function is that your partner becomes your hero, literally, the responsible function(parent) sees the hero and admires it, which creates respect, but also keeps it in check because the hero function is not as aware of the consequences of it's actions and the parent is. So I will say that ENTP is made for ENTJ and INTP is made for INTJ.

[@arianam9977]

This gives me hope. I'm an INTP girl and I'd like to be with an INTJ xd.

[@ieyeshiabates3556]

🙌🏽

[@donwald3436]

Make love last: Put down the Tinder!!!

[@paulo7507]

everything she said was true

[@vgcc9723]

Is ISTJ a good or a worst match for the INTJ? ISTJ is missing from the list and INFP is repeated.

[@lunastariaspiritdiva8662]

Maybe, they meant to put ISTJ with the ENFP as a good match, but I don't think INFP would be a bad match... If anything, the INTJ shouldn't be a bad match with ISTJ, because the ones they can't stand are Extroverts, the ES should be lower than the IS ~ Except, they do like having an Extrovert around to handle people for them, so that they can avoid people, so I guess there is that. Same reason they tend to work for ENTJs, or ENTPs.

[@aerin4984]

I'm INFJ and my guy is an INTJ

[@BonitoJoe111]

Switch ESTJ and ISTP with ENFP and ENFJ for best matches, and put ENTP in good, then I'd agree.

[@basharshami3403]

exactly

[@tlia..]

I'm an INTJ libra womannnnn

[@gingerredshoes]

Eternal relationships are nonsense. Stay for as long as it makes both people happy, then have the decency to leave when someone becomes unhappy.

[@sweetmeat1838]

Love your insight.

[@lunastariaspiritdiva8662]

Disagree on Best Match honestly, INTJ and INFJ are Soul Mates Best Match, and INTJ and INTP are Mind Mates Best Match. Highly disagree in the same type matches, because they don't compliment their weaknesses, they only double up on strengths. INTJs wouldn't usually want to be with ESTJ or ENTJ because they dislike Extroverts, and they extremely dislike/hate/can't stand Extroverted Sensor types. They'd make more sense with any Introvert, especially a fellow Introverted Intuitive, than they would with an Extrovert, especially a Sensor type. I'm pretty sure that many of them love INFP or ISFPs, and of course they'd love ISFJ, would they really hate the caring and loving, empathetic compassionate nurse type??? ENTJ and ESTJ might be a lot like the INTJ in personality, but that is only going to create a very harsh extremely competitive mentality, especially when they play Monopoly! ~ Between them and the INTJ, they wouldn't have any Feelings Quotient, wouldn't that kill any intimacy and dating? They'd probably be workmates at that point without any romance. INTJ needs their partner to have some Feelings there (oh, and INFP is actually typed twice as Good and Worst at the same time, it doesn't belong in the Worst Match category at all) ~

[@fuzzygherkin]

I agree that ESTJs would be a terrible match for INTJs (generalising, obviously). All the ESTJs I've met (and almost by definition) are controlling micromanagers. As an INTJ I couldn't think of a worse type to be with. Though about loving ISFJs ... I'm surrounded by a LOT of them in my field, and in my experience there is no intellectual fulfillment there (ever, at all) and I'd always feel like I'd be holding significant parts of myself back that aren't all sunshine and light. Just my experience/opinion. I could imagine liking an ENTJ (or ENTP, for their snark) romantically, if I held a lot of respect for their talents, competence and leadership. But with high standards that would almost never happen, except with fictional characters! lol. ISTJs can be good, if they respect an INTJ's intuition and intelligence enough to overcome their reluctance with innovation, and if different attitudes about traditions and daily tasks can be compromised around. Plus they make good minions. INTPs are good for a chat, but do they ever get anything meaningful done? That could get frustrating. Also a bomb could go off in the house of an INTP/INTJ and neither would notice if they're thinking about things. I'm growing more interested in the INTJ/ISTP dynamic, though purely speculative based on TV characters. I guess I'd probably bore an ISTP to death. I've read that often (in heterosexual relationships) INTJ women like INTJ men, but INTJ men like ENFP women. Typical ... ENFP guys are fun and lovely people, but in my experience not the best at monogamy ... (learned by married ENFP guys trying to sleep with me and anything else around them that caught their interest). Of course people are individuals and a lot more complex than MBTI pigeonholes, unfortunately (would be nicer if everyone made sense). Sorry for ranting at you lol - I'm procrastinating ...

[@frypan969]

ESTJs are very capable, stable, faithful and logical. Can become a power couple when long term goals align. Long term goals often the realm of INTJ with ESTJ focusing on the now and social norms. Money is not an issue due to high Te (common conflict in relationships). Neither have Fe in top 4 (Both have Fi in last 4 of the stack) and effectively ignore each others comments that could inflame other personality types. Trust, dependability and no drama. For the relationship to work, INTJ needs to learn ESTJ are faithful. ESTJ needs to learn INTJ are effective. The relationship provides a stable base for long term growth and goals. Biggest argument we had was we don't argue as we talk things out instead. Ni Te coming together with Te Si means we have a good overall understanding of problem from both sides and can both use logic together to come up with a solution. Relationships are joint, not competitive. Rather than play monopoly, play a cooperative game like Pandemic. Was not aware of MBTI when looking for a partner. I was only looking for someone I could trust, was capable and didn't like drama.

[@CoNSu_11]

I can confirm the Monopoly part 😂. I'm an INTJ raised by and ESTJ, when we boardgame, we do it hard. We play to win. We translate any game (even light and luck driven games) into chess. We play them hard.

[@BuildingMyFuturestepbystep]

Being with another introvert wouldn’t work. How would it work ? As an intj I think I would rather have an entj maybe I’m wrong tho

[@brettbaxter334]

Wow

[@Cassiel75]

Thnx /-poignant useful

[@cahayahijrahnurmakrifahtv4938]

How to make intj love u when they likes u

[@mehwhatever1402]

why is that guy's hands so dirty?

[@lexiemaep7930]

I smell a narcissist. 😏

[@pamela4843]

No, not narcissistic. Narcissists need to have hero worship. INTJ could care less about that and don't trust it at all.

[@lifesong8484]

@@pamela4843 correct 😊 My INTJ fiancé was once called a narcissist by someone, but he certainly isn't. I think many ppl really misunderstand this personality type. INTJs don't want attention or glory, nor do they prefer leadership positions (despite often making good leaders). A man I used to be in a relationship with was a true narcissist and so I know the hell that can be 😫 INTJs however can have great empathy (unlike narcissists), it's just sometimes expressed differently. My INTJ fiancé was going through a realllly tough time & when sat in the car he admitted feeling some despair. I thought he meant for himself, but he was still thinking of a homeless man we'd walked past 15min earlier, & the pain he felt at not feeling able to help 😍 I used to think he was like a robot haha, but thankfully am learning to see how he just processes thoughts & emotions differently.