suicide (why i'll never try again)

[@lindakay9552]

Leon Makepeace: My son was a genius. He had Asperger's. His entire life was an existential crisis. Your music was the ONLY THING that ever brought him any peace. He would have been 24 next week........ Now, your music is the STRONGEST memory I have of my son. When someone asks me to describe Dakota, my answer is "He was madly in love with goreshit." I listen to your music now, to fight my own demons. You are not allowed to complete suicide. You are vital. I'm infinitely glad you failed. I can't imagine a world without goreshit. No words can convey how important you are. I love you forever goreshit. !!THINKING OF YOU!!

[@goreshit]

thinking of YOU!! i'll never understand what it feels like to go what you've gone through, and i'm proud of you. xoxo.

[@lindakay9552]

@@goreshit I'm sure you don't remember, but you autographed a CD that he bought from you years ago. He took pictures of the package and everything in it. He truly loved you above all people on earth. Now your music is the only thing that keeps him close to me. You matter SO MUCH Leon.

[@goreshit]

@@lindakay9552 after our last conversation, i do remember ^__^ i really appreciate that, thank you xx

[@lindakay9552]

@@goreshit He never did anything half-assed. When he discovered your music, he started devouring all information he could find about you. I just KNOW right know, he's sitting O'er The Flood, with a beaming smile on his face, cause he's proud as hell to see how far you've come. He said he wanted to do one thing that mattered before he died..... So, if you can't find any other excuse, you HAVE to keep on keeping on for his sake.😋 I can't wait to see how far you go. 💙

[@ieatmicroplastics]

thats so neutral, i dont know gow to feel about this comment

[@Merapsco]

I'm glad you managed to stick around Leon, the world would have been a much sadder place without you. Your music helped me (and many others) when few things could. Take care of yourself. We love you.

[@pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

my wife and i never would’ve met if she didn’t travel hundred of miles to vancouver to see your show.. what you’ve done with your life has been powerful enough to ignite a love between two people completely separate from yourself, i can’t think of any better accomplishment than uniting hearts.. i’m so glad you stayed with us, thankyou for all you do, including this video, it’s so great to see your face and hear your voice 🤍 love n miss you very much xx

[@goreshit]

see ya real soon, bae! thank you

[@acidtechno2487]

I also have paranoid schizophrenia and this video hit home, it’s a daily struggle hearing the voices and battling psychosis. I also had an attempt through taking too much antipsychotics which ended me in the hospital with dystonia and scared me to my core. You’re music has really helped me express my feelings and daily battles I face so I can’t thank you enough bro. It means the world to me that I met you in the smoking area of the black swan in Bristol one night a few years back and it still brings me joy of what a great person you were to me, thank you for your words. We love you ♥️

[@frank4491]

I WALK IN THY WALLS, THY SKIN CANNOT HOLD MY FORM OUT. AN EYE FOR AN EYE. THEE HAVE BLOCKED ME AND YET I WILL ENTER INTO THY FRONTAL LOBE AND DEFECATE UPON THY SOUL. WATCH THE WALLS, THE SKIES, THE FLOORS AND THE ABYSS. I LURK THERE AND LUST TO ENTER THOUGH THY PUPILS. THEE CANNOT ESCAPE MY DESTRUCTIVE NATURE, AS I AM BUT AN ETERNAL PART OF THEE. I WILLY ONLY EXIT THE MORTAL COIL SHOULD THY FALTER. SCREAM CHILD, IT IS BUT NATURAL. EVERY TIME I ADVISED YE TO FLEE, TO SHUDDER IN FEAR, IT WAS BUT I TOYING WITH YE I DESPISE THEE I DESPISE THEE I DESPISE THEE PERISH PERISH PERISH PERISH PERISH PERISH PERISH PERISH PERISH PERISH PERISH PERISH

[@yangpaan453]

just out of curiosity from your name, did you take mind altering substances before developing schizophrenia?

[@Trigex]

@@yangpaan453 acid techno is a genre lol

[@yangpaan453]

@@Trigex sure, and genres like that are culturally associated with taking mind altering drugs.

[@yeahyeah2542]

you help thousands of peoples daily, including me, thank u 4 existing sending love from france

[@elenha.1079]

+1 sending love from greece

[@shu1666]

from france too, completely agreed

[@DJ-Dashy]

+1 from Osaka Japan here

[@mrmuyagi9907]

"I feel like a disease or a cancer" self hatred is so fucking horrible, I'm so sorry..

[@Svennymat]

Feeling like you're your own worst enemy is one of the worst feelings imaginable. The fact you're still here with us sharing these thoughts shows you're stronger than you think, Leon. Life is a cruel mistress. Stay safe my guy, and keep striving to be the better man than you were before.

[@EmmeCalabaza]

Edit: I will say this in a selfish and sincere way (and with my broken english), because that´s how I feel it is better to say it. I don't know you or your past and I doubt that I can help you in any way, but the truth is that you lifted me up with your music when I had bad momments in the past. I don't know how you did it, but your songs made me feel free and disconnected from the problems I was going through and they gave me the break I needed to get ahead and face reality. I'm really really really grateful for that, and I will be forever. You are part of my life, you had a purpose for me and I can't say in words how grateful I am for finding you when I most needed it. I hope you also find or persist with the necessary strenght to get ahead, and, if you feel like it, to bless us with your magical music.

[@aried2089]

Same, there have been a lot of time where I was going to attempt but I listened certain songs of his and the feeling slowly subsided and I felt a little better again

[@NanorayDX]

Hope you're doing well, glad I got to join in with you on the Breakcorps 2 comp. RIP Paris

[@KindkilleR]

I'm 25 and 5 years ago my mother was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. It started when I was 8. She started talking to herself and suspected of betraying all her friends, then relatives and me as well. My grandparents had no idea that it was due to mental issues. My mother and I lived in a one-room apartment and it was a rough time. I had many different thoughts, but when I was 14 I came to the conclusion that it is better to stay alive, just to see what happens next.

[@goreshit]

glad you stayed, and i'm sorry your family had to go through that. love xoxo

[@shoom1807]

I just can't stop crying. I'm so glad you're alive and as a man who went through shit either I really hope you will be ok. love you and your music

[@shoom1807]

You've just said so moving words that I'm just sitting im sitting and... God, things are good, life is going, lolicore is forever...

[@m9wn_]

dont commit suicide, its lethal

[@luci4r861]

Leon I dont know if you read these but I really, REALLY want you to know that me and so many other people genuinely love you. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart, I'm not just saying it. Though to you I am just a random stranger, it's crazy how much you have impacted my life. Not only as a producer, but as a person. Last November I was at my lowest point that I'd ever been before, to sum it up every day I was just thinking of ways to kill myself, and genuinely your music was one of the main things keeping me going. It sounds kinda stupid but whenever I had those kind of thoughts I drowned them out with the music you make and drew stuff to help me cope with myself and my thoughts. And it actually did make a difference - and eventually very gradually I started getting less of those thoughts. Also because of you I'm starting to make my own music now too, so I'm extremely thankful for just you being here to inspire us as well as everything else you do. Also something I find funny is that because of this, a lot of the art I make is actually influenced by the stuff you make, including the photography you used to do. Unrelated but youre a very good photographer lol. I'm so excited to see you in person in December at the dead in latvia gig because then maybe I won't be a stranger to you anymore and I can maybe make somewhat of a mark on your life like you have on mine, even if it's just a memory of me. I love you man, keep on doing what you're doing. I really hope you know just how loved you are by everyone here. You mean a lot to me ♡♡

[@goreshit]

that means a lot to me. i'm glad you're making your own stuff now too! it can be wonderfully helpful having something like that to work on/focus on. xoxo.

[@tfwamirite]

I love u so much

[@h3rberttt]

@@goreshit dude you are one of the nicest people ive ever met, i know im late to the party(?) but still

[@rustysinner]

As someone who is hearing voices and wanted to try suicide, thank you so much for making this video. It really helped me and now I want to live :) That's what I needed to hear, thank you.

[@rustysinner]

​@ona9 aw thanks! I had to go back to this video because I'm at my worst right now but don't worry, it's going to be okay :) Hope you're doing fine as well!

[@NightpireVideos]

I agree that the nihilistic outlook can be seen in a positive way and feel the freedom to create and experience rather than ending up in nothingness. Your art is part of my life for over a decade and I wouldn't want to miss it. It helped me plenty through bad times. Thank you for reminding me.

[@officialpizzapartywithpies]

leon you have helped over hundred of people across the world and I never would have stopped taking drugs if the lsd didn’t mess up with the way I heard your music. I stopped taking lsd just to hear your music and you seriously deserve to live. You’re awesome

[@autoteleology]

I'm so glad that you're still here, you're such a positive and unique contribution to so many people in the world

[@datlyu]

I can tell you had a hard time recording this video and that’s why I appreciate it. a few words of help serve too much, I’m glad you’re still alive and making such great music. Take care, king~ hugs from Colombia!

[@pikchuketshup1585]

wow, pense que era el unico de (co) que escuchaba a goreshit.

[@datlyu]

@@pikchuketshup1585 ya ves que no 🤩

[@pikchuketshup1585]

@@datlyu Genial! :D

[@toorandomenvi]

I always considered you to be one of the realest (and honestly coolest) people I got to interact online with (even tho it was just a stupid little convo about nerdy things). And the way you opened up on your life like this only strengthened this view in my head. Thank you for doing this and I wish you the very best.

[@aiden2520]

I'm speaking for myself when I say you're music has saved me along with a couple other artists. Please know that you're the best kind of person! Let no one tell you otherwise.

[@chronicwebemo]

I have to come back to this video a few times a year it seems. Sometimes it feels like you and your music are the only things i can come to / look forward to. I'm glad you're still around otherwise i might not have been myself. You've changed my life for nothing but the better

[@VanguardRaven]

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm listening right now. I can assure you, your story will help others pull through their own hell. Keep doing what you do and enjoy life.

[@DanKop2]

I was around 13 when I got into your music and now I’m 20. Have always enjoyed your stuff, you’ve helped me a lot. Let it be known I care and we all do

[@Sh0n0]

i was around 10 and now im 40!

[@cooooooooooooooool3]

Thanks for sticking around Leon. I remember 4 years ago I was sitting on the edge of my 7th floor window listening to your music and just pondering whether I should do it with my feet dangling out the window. You really helped me back then man. P.S. I play rhythm games so without your music we would lose out on so much. It's bad enough that we recently lost SHIKI :(

[@kierz0]

you're one of the greatest musicians i've found this past year man. your music has helped me get through a lot this year, it's been tough. thank you. we all love you gs. 💜

[@bagelslush]

the part near the end about improving yourself really resonated with me. your music will always be something i’ll treasure for a long time. you’ve helped a lot of people including me these past years. I hope you stay well, love you man.

[@lastz0mbie651]

Hey Leon, your music got me through my own stay in a psychiatric hospital (psychosis/bipolar depression) and the time after it a lot. Your music was one of the few things I kept on living and struggling for. Especially your first couple of albums, which you produced around your psychiatric hospital time. Just 10 years later. I didn't know anything about you as a person at that time, but that music was special beyond words to me. Can't believe that eventually I got to talk with this mysterious musician, who made the best music I have ever heard and who helped me so much, face to face and hear his music live. That was one of the greatest days in my life. Thank you so much for everything Leon, you and your music will forever stay in my heart. Thank you for this video, it must have been really hard to record and upload, but people appreciate it a lot as you see. I am glad that you got better and hope that you keep improving. Without your music I might have never gotten better

[@maedasalt]

i resonated with this. my story isnt too dissimilar. thankfully all of my attempts didnt work out - my last attempt was now a few years ago and not just months. my biggest hardship was fighting myself and dealing with my own self hatred. it compounds when everything falls apart and it actually feels like hell. that pain is indescribable. i know for me, when i get emails or see comments on my music with people saying how its helped them or got them through a hard time, i go as far as to feel some imposter syndrome and dismiss it. but, i can say for a certain fact your music has actually done all of that for me, and there isnt a part of me thatd question that i mean that. your impact on the lives of people youve touched goes far, far beyond being your own worst enemy - and that goes for all of us. lets keep going, for ourselves and the people around us.

[@leech8561]

I am/have been struggling with mental health problems myself and I know how meaningless what I'm about to say can come across but I want to try regardless: You as an individual and what you provide has undeniable value in my eyes and looking at these comments I'm not the only person that thinks that. I may not know you personally but your artistic output and this very video is proof of that for me. Thank you for deciding to show vulnerability by putting this out there making yourself visible in such a way is truly brave. I wish you a good life man

[@northstar92]

well said +1

[@zombitshe]

5 years ago when I was 14 I learned that my dad had cancer, at that point I had already been living with terrible social anxiety for the better part of my life and was crushed and overwhelmed by the news. Your music helped me immensely during that time, to think, to feel something I could relate to ; those night spent thinking about what life meant while listening to your noise are very dear memories of mine. Last year I unfortunately had another depressive episode during lockdown, much worse, and for the first time yet I tried to escape the pain through suicide. It didn't work out as planned (turns out our bodies can handle much more than I thought) and I came out alive. I still feel like I shouldn't be, that I'm replaceable and quite useless to others, but since then, each and every little step towards something better feels so big in comparison to what I used to feel like. This video is a reminder from someone whose art I hold very close to my heart that life (even though we will always carry some things with us) will get better at some point, and I'm very greatful for that. Anyways, sorry for oversharing all of this and my very mid English but I just wanted to let you know that speaking about this is helpful for more than one person on this Earth. Much love

[@drill6739]

[@goreshit]

i'm glad it didn't work

[@6hs2mm]

"the life is pointless" words are so right. i'm glad that i relised this some time ago. in times when i felt like i trapped here and there's no way to go and suicide is the only "good way" to be, i remembered how many people i know that were in the same (even if not worse) shit like me. and they are now people that inspire other people, they are these type of people who do not care about anyone or anything but still being a wise person. this kind of thought kept myself motivated and my mind moved from "life is sucks and i want to die" thought to "life is pointless but it's fucking my time to spend before i die and there's no place for other people opinions". i still not really happy about my being but i feel much better than it was before and now if choosing between pointless life and death i can truley say first. also i want to say thank you for your being in this world. your music inspired me so many times and while listening to it i was more happy. i'm glad that all people who feel the same way started to talk about it. have a nice day

[@-psithur]

you were my first ever live act way back in 2015 in the Netherlands, and i got to speak with you the next one. i've never met anyone so delicate and beautiful inside and out before, and i always wish for another chance to speak again right as i'm typing this, i'm sitting on my bed in an inpatient clinic, and i happen to think specifically about you a lot for some reason. it feels healing to hear your voice again. i can't let that go yet. you're so needed, and the impact you have on my life and other people's can't be measured, let alone extinguished i'm so grateful you're here now 💛

[@goreshit]

i hope your stay is as easy as possible and you get out soon! xoxo.

[@9600max]

i’m sorry to hear everything you’ve been through, but it makes me so happy to know you’re feeling better now! it may take some time but we can all improve, a little progress is still progress. thanks for sharing your story and thank you for staying here, we all love you so much, take care

[@Doggieguts]

My mental state has slowly been becoming worse and worse over the past month or so. I have thought about killing myself on the daily. Yesterday i was having a mental breakdown, crying, sobbing, laying in my bed, thinking about ending my life, and i was listening to Ureshii! And it brought me comfort and id say that your music kept me from getting up and doing it, honestly thank you so much, your music has brought me so much joy and hope. I really do look up to you and you making this video just....thank you, sorry for this ramble that made absolutely no sense

[@maihaiki888]

Hey, are you doing alright?

[@Doggieguts]

@@maihaiki888yea I’m doing better ^_^

[@hai5237]

you’re not stupid for making this video, you already help so much people with your music. This will just help even more. Thank you.

[@kiwisqueeze9340]

im not even joking or exaggerating that your music saved my life when i was in such a rough place. it really made me feel a feeling that i could go on. and it still does. i rely on it every day, every week, every month. nothing has touched me like it does. im so glad you stuck around. it continues to help me heal even when I feel like im at my lowest. thank you goreshit

[@happilydisgusted]

I discovered your music during an incredibly difficult period in my life. You helped me get better. You have no idea how happy I am that you're still here.

[@glueday]

Ur music has helped me more than any other artist, no hidden meanings, no agenda at all, just music made with pure love and devotion and that is what brings all of us together. The world may be a cruel place at times, no matter your status/wealth/ethnicity/etc. and sometimes feeling like you are stuck without anyone comes to each and every one of us. With that being said no one should feel like they are alone to the point it ends an appreciated life. Tell your friends and family you care about them, and in return they care for you. We are all with you, and I hope you are able to feel not only our appreciation for your music but sympathy for the ones you have lost and your personal wellbeing. Feel better soon, you and everyone reading this.

[@ferro_nimo]

Your music helped me through college and i'm grateful to know your music, hoping you're doing great today and so on!

[@ch0mpyyy]

coming back to this video after a long time, but im so grateful youre alive man your music has helped me through a lot; as of now im experiencing a range of psychotic features and help has been really slow. My diagnosis is very inconsistent, and it has just been really hard getting the care i need. I haven't been feeling well lately as i've been waiting hopelessly for appointments. Im unfit for hospitalization as of now because i have a "support system in my community" although its pretty weak. Everything just seems uncertain and im scared because i have no idea whether things will go well or not. As of now, stuff has been getting worse. I've lost almost all my friends because of my odd behavior and isolation and i just feel so horrible. I experience hallucinations and other shit and ive been so scared and lost. My family seems afraid and i feel like a burden; i just make everyone in my household stressed and constantly worried about my wellbeing. Sometimes, i just really wanna give up because i see no point in trying anymore. The world seems like such a scary place to me and yea :( But i really appreciate your awesome work. You are such an amazing person and i look up to you a lot. I've tried getting into music myself because of you and its been a really effective distraction for me. Leon, thank you for everything.

[@maihaiki888]

Hang in there. You matter. You were born for a reason. No matter how useless you feel, just know you have something special. Things will get better.

[@------.]

You never know what somebody is going through, wow. All I have to say is your music is very therapeutic, and I use it for the gym. Glad you are staying strong.

[@FoxxyDK]

I’m so sorry that you had to go through this. I also suffered from severe mental health problems for a very long time. I thought that it will never get better and tried to commit suicide many times but I’m so happy that I’ve never succeeded because I met a lot of great people during this time and saw how many people cared about me. We have to realize that every pain and every emotion is temporary and will pass. Sometimes when you’re in a depressive episode or experiencing psychosis it’s super tough but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and someone that will help you. I experience frontal lobe seizures, couldn’t sleep for days, saw weird shadows, heard screams in my head and had nerve pain for a long time but after many years fighting it finally stopped and I’m so thankful for that. It’s also very important to eat enough nutrient dense foods and check your blood levels regularly. Deficiencies in nutrients can also lead to gut problems, malabsorption and all kinds of physical and psychological problems. I’m still suffering sometimes but always say to myself that it is not forever. I still remember when I discovered your music on myspace back in 2006 I guess. ^^ I felt in love with goretrance when I was I 14 y.o teenager. lol! You’re music gave me happiness when nothing else made me happy. 💖 You’re such an awesome person! Thank you so much for making this video.

[@butterspice2103]

I really appreciate you posting this video. I recently (3 months ago) got out of a mental hospital following a suicide attempt that left me in the hospital for a bit. Knowing that someone else went through the same thing that i did has given me a new perspective. I did the exact same thing, took a few bottles of antipsychotics and sleeping pills, cut all up my arms, and ended up in the hospital unable to keep my eyes open for more than a few minutes. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life anymore, but hearing your story gives me some hope. I really look up to you, knowing that you've survived something so harsh, and gone on to create such amazing things. For so many years, I've heard that when you start getting treatment for mental illnesses, eventually you'll feel so much better and won't have any more symptoms. But now knowing from someones perspective that you'll always have some of those symptoms regardless of how better you feel gives me a sort of relief. It makes me feel better knowing that even though on days i feel better, I can have setbacks. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@goreshit]

you'll get there, bae xoxo

[@束]

Your music got me through very tough times at my lowest point in my life. I thank you very much 💜

[@r3tsuu]

Honestly, you're a really strong person. Thank you for sharing your story and inspiring many others, including me. Just wanna say that i absolutely love your music.

[@Fiddlesticks_]

we're all here for you. we all love you

[@lilirin]

ily. your songs mean a lot to me, i'm glad you're still around

[@spxderxd]

I'm so glad that you survived your attempt, we all do. I'm so sorry for what you had (and may still) have to experience, its really hard breakening what happened but at the end we can all be glad and happy that it didn't work. I was also going through rough times, especially nowadays since covid literally destroyed everything for me. This video how ever (or your experience) just shows me that it isn't worth it trying to kill myself, even if the thoughts are there and you may even try.. But now I'll see a better perspective of myself and my life. My perspective to others and how to handle them and what they're going through. This video motivated me to help others and give more love to everybody as I can. I'm truly thankful for everything and I'm really, really happy that you are still alive, everybody is! Also thanks for your great music and what you've done for us, you truly deserve the best, everybody deserves the best.

[@qaywsx583]

Every time I listen to your tracks, I get reminded that I've been listening to your music for about a decade now. It's a bit daunting at times that so much time has passed already, but I still enjoy every track just like I did back then. Glad to have you still around.

[@Ian-rz6dm]

Your music has gotten me through my darkest chapter of my life. It was full of self harm, drugs, and desolation. You've gifted the world with so much and given a lot of people hope. You stayed strong and helped a lot of people to do so as well everyday.

[@hollygartshore3858]

So happy you’re still around pal 💙 sending all the love 🥰

[@sunsetgradient]

your music saved me so im endlessly thankful that you exist and i hope you will continue to do so. i dont want to get too parasocial but i remember you sent me a mail thanking me personally after i purchased some of your digital albums and honestly that meant a lot to me. you are not only my favorite artist music wise but also my favorite artist human wise. love you leon.

[@hotelszn]

I am 20 right now. I have meant to watch this video since it came out, but found it too difficult to watch. I needed it today. Right now I’m on a bench, a couple minutes from the parking garage I have visualized throwing myself off since I was 16. I won’t do it today… This video let me rethink things for a bit There are so many things I want to make and so many things I want to listen to still…

[@hotelszn]

im really glad i didnt kill myself

[@QuantumEcho7]

Thank you ❤️ - I’ve not been in a position like yours all those years ago, though I’ve struggled, but a positive thought that keeps me going is (similar to yours) that there’s always more out there in this world. More to discover, more to learn, more to enjoy etc - and so far I’ve been right and I’ve enjoyed the growth in my life. Your DnB and ambient centred around these feelings and issues were and remain inspiring influences that kept me going with the experimental nature of my art, and that’s perhaps the foundation of what I do today, so once again, thank you.

[@panekoekopjema]

I want to tell you that your music inspired me to make my first album. Goretrance 9 was what kickstarted it. I'm grateful for your existence, and maybe that's what can make life something wonderful and even special in a way. A dude that has never talked to you irl and never truly interacted with you besides only listening to your music being grateful for some strangers existence and inspiring him to make some music. Keep on rocking and finding your strength to fight your problems.

[@Proxylain_]

your music gives me joy and inspiration. specificly toromi hearts 2, toromi hearts really makes me feel at peace with my disphoria and my overall existencial crisis and depression.

[@emsket]

everytime im trying to tackle suicidal thoughts i come back to this video and it always helps me. im glad you pursued making music since it's one of the only things that keeps me going through day to day life. thank you goreshit.

[@gaugea]

pushing through that feeling of “this feels dumb” is called bravery: thanks for posting this. i’ve also lost friends in ways that i know they’d regret if they’d survived. i am praying for you, that you can overcome the voices that tell you you aren’t as great as the rest of us can clearly see you are. I will say that if you can recognize that there is value in sharing this advice to help others even if it makes you feel dumb, I hope you can trust us when we unanimously say everything I’ve ever seen of you, every work you’ve ever produced that I’ve interacted with, has been nothing but inspiring and comforting and positive. You’ve helped me a lot and maybe it’s selfish but I hope you never stop helping me. what you’re saying towards the end about the hopelessness and meaninglessness of life being what helped turn you away, I had that same realization and it might’ve ended up saving me too. this might sound weird from someone that’s never met you but Im proud of you. Keep staying strong, for everyone and especially yourself

[@bjollnirbjordsen9795]

Your music got me through college. Every day I would put on headphones, goto the library, and study with a goreshit Playlist. I literally can't focus without high bpm music. I'd be languishing in retail otherwise, and that was not a place I was thriving. Thanks for making your music bro

[@galileeo]

I think its incredible how many of us have been helped by your music. It just shows how much good you've been doing to this world, you're my favorite artist and i will never ever forget how amazed i was when i found it for the first time. You are changing so many lives and as you've said, we, your fans, are the evidence. We love you goreshit, we love you.

[@christianpurvis7214]

Your music has always meant a lot to me, especially when I discovered it as a teenager. you should be proud that your music has helped people even if it was just one person.

[@Nepgearaf]

As someone who has told their girlfriend/friends that I wanted to go to the UK solely to see one of your sets done live, I am so grateful you are still here. You were a gateway to my favorite music genres that helped me BS through highschool. Growing up with early 2000s internet culture your music had always made me feel so comfortable, it's just kind of how breakcore/mashcore has made me feel as a whole. The times are changing and honestly way too fast for my liking. You have also inspired one of my best friends who'd been making music since he was 13, I showed him you when we were in freshman or sophmore year. They're also battling Paranoid Schizophrenia and have had a rough time, but seeing them heavily consider their actions reminds me of how strong they really are to have gotten this far and I couldn't be more proud of them.

[@dnb4xzigo]

Wow. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It feels pointless to write this comment but i'll do it anyway. As i grew older, i too abandoned those thoughts of ending it all. Now, at the absolute rock bottom of my life, i have to laugh about the reasons why i thought of it. And life is still enjoyable in a way or another. It's exactly what you said. In most cases the good in life isn't absent, it's just so far out of reach because ones' lack of ability to notice it. That became my daily fight. To go out there and find the positive. And i still have to search like crazy, even though it's right in front of me. Guess some things can't be fixed, but they can teach one to become damn perfect at establishing workarounds, showing character. And sometimes those workarounds, like your music i dare to say, have great impact on other broken souls... Thank you for that!

[@DGtrustmelikereligion]

I've been to different therapists, tried prozac and whatnot, been to a closed psych ward twice, but atleast i'm still here and trying. I'm starting music therapy now and I hope that it'll be better than my past experiences, have a lovely day y'all and thanks for making this video Goreshit ❤️

[@noxious_mandi]

I love you so much. I'm so glad you made it through, so that I get the immense pleasure of knowing you.... that so many others do too, and that so many people get to enjoy what you contribute to the world through your art. You are really one of a kind and one of the most interesting and quality people I've ever met, I tell people all the time, "Leon is so amazing, I've never met anyone quite like him." I recently saw a quote (and I have it on a jacket) "the only way out is through," and it's so true. Getting through life and improving, and learning from the bad and thriving from the good, and feeling the love of people around you, is fantastic. Thank you so much for taking the time to make this video. You will never be a burden to me my friend. I'm proud of you for realizing the beauty in staying no matter what life hands you, and for being brave enough to share all of this. I really think it may find people well. Much love, again. I will always support you in anyway I can. I cannot wait to see you again. ♡♡♡

[@noxious_mandi]

Also... this scene is a family. We will get through this loss together. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you need an ear. I want to be there for others in ways others are being there for me as we all grieve together. Just know I'm always here. ♡

[@Mokoccino]

Almost a decade listening to your music. I find it so weird but fascinating how your music connected all of us who went through the same stuff. Thank You Mr. Goreshit, with all my heart.

[@dannyv1224]

i got out of the hospital/psych ward after my first (hopefully last) suicide attempt by drowning at 17 about a month ago, and everything you said really hits home. thank you for making this video, i feel much less alone. thank you for making music, which comforts me when i have unbearable thoughts. you are a very strong and talented person that i admire

[@Purplorr]

i thought of commiting suicide while i was studying abroad, the idea of jumping down the stairwell on my dorm would pop up on my head every now and then, i think what kept me from doing was visualizing my mom's reaction, and how much of a painful burden i would be to my family. to this day i still remember the painful stupid mistakes i made throughout my life, the idea that i could possibly hurt my family forever by commiting suicide is unforgivable to me, and i think that helps.

[@xanophage8386]

Thanks for sharing, I started dealing with schizophrenia only a couple of years ago and it is hard. A type of difficulty that I find hard to express in any tangible way to someone who doesn't deal with it. But right when it first started getting overwhelming in my life, hallucination wise, was right around the time when I was first exposed to your music. Your sound was always a part to the brighter sides of my darker days and it did help. Now knowing the context behind the artist, how much your influence to this world has changed it for a tangible better for me, that you're still here, and that I'm still here despite attempts, it does make the outlook to how ever many days there still are for my mind a measurably better space to be okay being a part of. Take care.

[@nobie4955]

Your music has gotten me through some of my darkest times in life so far, you’re the most awesome artist I enjoy. Stay safe

[@hamzohattori2351]

You are one of the greatest artists for me, since I first heard your songs around 14 years ago. I'm glad that you are still around, I'm struggling with depression all my life and I understand you. Hearing your story, you remind me of Guts from Berserk! You are an inspiration, dude! Wish you all the best

[@ultradespair1779]

its only getting worse for me each day and watching this always helps

[@zammy8655]

thank you so fucking much for everything, thank you for producing music regardless of the situations you were in. i appreciate you, aside from music for being here. thank you for everything youve done. words cannot describe how much i love your talent and your existence.

[@gandalfc4582]

you made me release emotions I can't put into words. the emotions would have ate me alive but your music has always grounded me. thankyou for the amazing music and am glad you are here with us

[@bwg1677]

you being one of the most unique artists of my life makes me believe there's a mote in you, maybe many, that does go on beyond mortal life...

[@user-gy9wg8mv6b]

im glad you're still here ❤ I have bipolar type 1 with psychotic symptoms and your music has really helped me get through tough situations over the years, especially when I was around 10 or so. Love ya man.

[@rotte5537]

Thank you for all you've done mate, you've helped lots of people through tough times with your art. I know I'm a nobody but I'm proud of you for sticking around. I can't 100% imagine what incredible suffering you have gone through, but to keep on living against all these voices and feelings you've described and even through the terrifying thing that paralysis can be, is extremely powerful and strong. You've helped me a lot with your art as well, it's been a great aid throughout my dissociation, anxiety and depression. As someone who's tried suicide before what you've said is quite relatable in that regard, after my last failed attempt I've had a very different outlook on life after seeing the pain and suffering it caused to those around me, even though things got even worse mentally for me, it was worth it. On my behalf thanks again for everything you did for those close to you, those in your community and most importantly yourself. I know you'll keep on being strong and an inspiration to others at that as well.

[@teh_king1235]

I implore you to take this to heart - your music is one of the few things that I can reliably count on to experience that will either invigorate me or push me to enjoy at least a little bit of my day. I struggle with a disgusting addiction (not drugs but essentially worse or analogous to) and due to attempting to change myself for the better and quit it abruptly I've been unable to sleep for more than 4 hours a night. I stress extremely easily by default but this exacerbates it to a horrible extent. I don't know if I have a very mild schizo-affective /schizoid disorder or whatever, but I'm relatively more paranoid than what is understandable. Your various works during the day do not ever fail, not once, to make it better. I hope you can see that in your past, present, and future, that you are worth more than you believe. I hope you can see that you are severely underrated. The thing about being one's own worst enemy is more so a fact, rather than a state of mind. As such - I hope you can make peace with your enemy and continue doing what you love, as well as creating what hundreds of thousands if not millions have loved to experience - your works. The works you put out are an extension of yourself and unmatched in breakcore and EDM in general - even your earliest music. Please. Continue to live on and acknowledge that you are a positive force in this world. Much love from the USA.

[@VVoffel]

I'm so glad that you're still around and able to share the beautiful things you create. Your music has touched the lives of many, myself included. You'll always be loved and appreciated. Much love brother

[@sausejii]

when you take your own life you only shift your pain to others it doesn't go away. When i was in a exceedingly difficult time i too tried to overdose but luckily enough i just woke up some days later. Abusing depressants especially benzos and zdrugs was a vicious cycle for me im not sure if you had a similar experience but i assumed as much from your benzo chronicles album. I'm overjoyed to hear that things have improved for you as it has for me. Time changes everything, and if you aren't around you won't be able to see how much better things can get. Nihilism is dangerous but if you really think about it innately humbling. Stay determination

[@Arno586]

My friend was about to take his life once, If I wouldn't have answered his texts he would've tried it, according to him. I have major anxiety towards suicide today. Whenever someone is sad or texts me the first thing I think about is if they want to commit suicide, it's just a thought that has stayed with me ever since my friend texted me. I'm very anxious and music helps with that, my birthday is in 7 days and you've inspired to make my own music. So I'm going to buy a MIDI controller and Ableton Live so that I can make breakcore myself :) Thanks for sharing this video and I hope you stay safe! Love you Goreshit

[@jc2nd480]

it took me a while to get myself to watch this, thank you for the immense help you have been for me.

[@yesterdaysmistake]

I can't put it into the words I'd like, but thank you so much for saying it how you did. Hearing you talk about your struggles and how you live on despite them makes me feel like there is hope and light to live on, even when it seems like there is none. Your music has helped me a lot with my own mental health, it helps me "pass" my own feelings, and I'm so grateful that you're still with us and doing better and were willing to share this with us, because I haven't heard it better expressed. Good health and goreshit forever :)

[@dragonmage7980]

100% relate to what you say about feeling wrong, feeling like a cancer; first time I’ve ever heard anyone else express that. Literally the only reason I haven’t attempted suicide is because I can’t find a way I’m certain will work, and I can’t take the chance of ending up totally incapacitated and not able to try again. That being said, I do believe that those of us who feel like this, who feel wrong and struggle to find inherent meaning in life, we feel like that because we come from another world somewhere, and we belong somewhere else up there. I hope that’s where we go when we do die, and everything we’ve been through on this shitty rock will make sense finally.

[@Yahngli]

try to stay positive friend. I'm going through a lot atm, too. and hearing stuff like this from you, or friends, always shows me that there is always hope. So many people have these problems. we are not alone. always gotta hang in there and fight, things will get better over time. you are strong, we are strong. much love to everyone ♥

[@AstralPhnx]

You're a good lad Leon. I'm really glad you're still here with us, you're an inspiration for a lot of us. Take care of yourself, you are loved and supported

[@pakodikapakodika5308]

Your music is amazing i listened hours and hours and hours of your mixes 💎💎💎 im a young gabber boy from france i discovered your music at 18 and i had crazy good emotions listening to it freaking out dancing stupidly with my friends; thank you !!! 😎 i keep blasting it at the skatepark etc 👍 so much good memories of my life are associated with your music ✨✨

[@Suitpain]

I also am glad you didnt manage to be gone. Your works are the best and they encourage me to work too. I love dedicating my time to you, listening to your works makes my body ascend, you’re such a good person. I love you.

[@fishsandwich5000]

a little late to this vid but i wish i saw it earlier

[@priwncess]

I love you. Thank you for staying on this Earth.

[@SkexIsDead]

I've been listening you since a long ass time. Stay strong, you're loved! Greetings from Costa Rica. Look where your music has arrived, I'd be proud!

[@marywiza]

Thank you. That was inspiring. I had lived trough some shit when I was 14, and been in the psychiatric clinic intermated for over 2 years fighting suicide, and I actively tried doing so during that times. But I guess love has won over those battles I had. "Feels good to be alive" I thought today. Thanks for the video. Really.

[@haydenpaulin4711]

proud of you for talking about this, it's not something easy. your music has had such a big impact on me, i would argue to say that it has had a bigger impact than any other artist I've really listened to, your hana sumai albums are some of most beautiful things I've ever heard. love you goreshit truly hope everything works out for you! stay strong and know that you are worth enjoying life and experiencing happiness

[@skullie7736]

it's really nice to hear struggles and feelings similar to mine verbalized. i always have trouble expressing it. this is really important to me, thank you

[@GuruVasile]

Maybe you're desensitized already to these kinds of comments (and it's a bit late considering the upload date, maybe things are better now), but you should know that your music has been a cornerstone of my formative years. I listened it to so much that even to this day, on lastfm, there isn't an artist I have more scrobbles than you. I do get it when you say that it's easier for you to not be here, but you should still know that your songs are some of the most replayable pieces of music that I've had the pleasure of enjoying. I could leave your songs on loop for whole days and not get sick of them. Maybe your inner voices talk shit about you, but here's one outside voice telling you that you're important and you matter.

[@selfbane99]

Thanks for sharing. This isn't stupid. It's educative, relatable and/or inclusive. At the very least real and somewhat preventative. Really happy I happen to sub to you.

[@kittideree]

your music simpily helps me, youve done enough and ily

[@bonniefnaf9849]

Much love man. While i may not know the words to help and encourage, just know that you're loved and adored by many. Not just as an artist, but as a person. ❤️💙

[@ekisacik]

your music gave me love through pain, i hope it keeps giving something to you too

[@wintermaestra]

many people echo my thoughts but you are a wonderful person and created so much wonderful things, your music helped me a lot during a time where i was extremely depressed and alone, i hope things get better for you and know that many care for you and think youre great