Surprising Signs of Anxiety and How to Heal It | The Mel Robbins Podcast

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Today’s episode is a continuation of our exclusive two-part series with world-renowned medical expert, Dr. Russell Kennedy ( @theanxietymd )
Is #anxiety impacting your ability to sleep?
Tired of the negative loop of thoughts in your mind?
Is anxiety affecting your kids?
Is it #genetic?
Are there surprising signs of adult anxiety?
Did your parents struggle with it, and you never knew?
How do you break generational cycles?
Dr. Kennedy answers these questions and so many more. You’ll also learn what most #therapists get "wrong" about anxiety.
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Xo Mel
In this episode, you'll learn:
00:00 Intro
04:11 What do you do when your anxiety creeps in at night?
07:28 Here’s where most therapeutic approaches get it wrong.
07:47 I couldn’t believe what happened when I started facing my anxiety.
11:06 Cold plunges teach your body to be uncomfortable and still be okay.
12:51 This approach doesn’t eliminate the alarm, and yet you still heal.
13:26 Use this strategy when you wake up in the night with anxiety.
16:46 Living with social anxiety? Dr. Kennedy explains why.
21:24 Not sure what your nervous system has to do with anxiety? Listen here.
24:19 Dr. Kennedy’s #1 tool to move you into rest-and-digest pretty quickly.
25:25 Use these two tools to move yourself out of the freeze response.
27:55 Look at your alarm this way, and your mindset towards it changes, too.
31:27 So how do you start breaking the cycle of anxiety in a family?
38:30 For those of us who grew up in the “I’ll give you something to cry about.”
40:42 What are signs that your parents were actually struggling with anxiety?
45:25 This is why you have a hard time slowing down. And me too!
49:37 Here’s what your life can look like once you heal your alarm.
57:31 Here’s the neuroscience behind why essential oils help calm your body.
59:32 Dr. Kennedy shares his tips for playing “the right way.”
1:02:02 Have this where you can see it to remember your partner’s vulnerability.
Listen to the #podcast episode "The Toolkit for Healing Anxiety, Part 2" - link.chtbl.com/DAinFkFf?sid=e...
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[@melrobbins]

I genuinely learned so many things about anxiety in today’s video. I’d deeply appreciate it if you liked and subscribed. So many awesome episodes coming your way!

[@dianahorel3869]

Mel, you and Dr. Kennedy have done more to heal my anxiety in a month then 40 years of therapy, medication, or survival techniques. Of course, it's just the start, but THE BEST start. Bless y'all. I mean it.

[@poojakapoor780]

Daily brisk walks/running and 30 minutes meditation is helping to manage my anxiety symptoms. Trust me guys. But, be consistent❤

[@kevinvarghesephilip]

I have been doing it too but I’m trying to also get to the root of it.

[@kevinvarghesephilip]

All the best 🙌

[@MichaelHopkins-yn1jo]

Ya walking helps alot

[@GailFernandez]

Yes!!

[@jinxme]

Hi guys am falling apart.. where should i start

[@MajharulAsif]

“You need to hear this loud and clear: No one is coming. It is up to you.” ― Mel Robbins ❣

[@tammieaufderhar5731]

I😊

[@carrieknoth4346]

It's hard to hear but it got me motivated.

[@MegaMarika25]

​@tammieaufderhar5😊😊😊😊731

[@mochalatte8202]

Til I have anxiety that is worse than my depression. I feel like I have tools that I can work through my depression, but I still fall into patterns seeming uncontrollable. Now I have tools to help with anxiety because that is what is causing me to stay in these patterns. I miss out on a lot of life and love due to anxiety.

[@infiniterippleshypnosismed2817]

I resonate so much with this 💖 I knew I was depressed since I was 10 but had no idea what anxiety was until I was 23 and a counselor pointed out that most issues I described were anxiety. I have learned so many tools in the last 10 years mindfulness and exercise being the top, but after having kids it got too strong and I didn't have the strength to even recall the tools let alone use them. Now my kids are old enough and I'm no longer breastfeeding and I'm finally feeling better able to manage it and am doing regular exercise. Such a big difference but a long way to go! I'm just starting this video so hopefully there are some new insights for me in it! 😊💖

[@user-ut5is4jl1z]

I struggle with health anxiety and would love to hear a podcast on how to handle this. I feel like a hypochondriac and since I hit 50+ I fear aging and health problems.

[@poojakapoor780]

Hi dear, I am a hypochondriac too. I am doing 30 minutes daily meditation. Any thought that is making you anxious or phobic, just grab it, feel it and watch it during meditation without judging. It will loose its power. I have treated my health anxiety upto 70% through this technique. I will do this process till all my health anxiety fades away. Trust me confronting your fear in a meditative state is equal to treating your anxiety and forming new brain connections.

[@janbarrett4544]

Don't fear aging! It's a part of life and very enjoyable. Expand your interests,exercise daily,hold onto your friends,eat small meals and start a journal. I promise you you will stop worrying!

[@EmmainthePNW]

Same

[@amandaraycroft5740]

Yup... But looking back it was always there, but I managed to tuck it away with the distraction of raising a family. Living alone after divorce from a narcissistic personality, brings it to a whole new level. I've identified that some of it is from the divorce and questions about my place in this world. It's a test! We gotta do the work! It's all part and parcel of personal growth and our experiences helping others.... Just as Mel's experiences are helping millions. Xo Lots of love

[@georginaharwood4823]

This is me too. I'm now 60. It's getting worse since watching my sister deteriorate in a care home. Yes please Mel. I am , as are others, struggling with this every day. Love you. 🙏🙏🙏

[@Elly_says]

Why did I only found out this podcast and channel now😢 I really needed this cause I’m finding myself in a dark hole with my anxiety .. feeling hopeless like an invalid but now I’m seeing some hope.. thank you❤

[@Mariamaija]

Another great episode ❤ My anxiety however is triggered by alarming bodily sensations. So going into my body to get out of my mind is rather ...unhelpful most of the time. Being mindful about what I am telling myself is helpful some of the time, but I don't feel safe in my body at all.

[@EmmainthePNW]

Same

[@jasonseifried7192]

I suffer from health anxiety please do a podcast more focused about hypochondria. I know anxiety is some what the same but health anxiety in my opinion feels like it needs a different perspective

[@GailFernandez]

Yes!!!

[@jasonseifried7192]

@@GailFernandez I hope they do a video soon.

[@faltarego]

These two episodes have been an utter revelation. Thanks so much to both of you. Your wisdom, humor, and compassion are much needed, and they're coming to me at a time in my life when I'm "ready to do the work." The timing is perfect. Thanks again.

[@tamaramarie1]

Feeling the sensation in your body is eye opening for me! Thank you❤

[@user-wt1jd4rc9n]

I am addicted to compulsive eating and everything I have heard fits me perfectly. I had a very stressed childhood and my body discovered foods that I really liked. I felt anxiety and ate sweet breads chocolates fats and I felt very good and without realizing I became addicted to those foods and large amounts. I feel anxiety and I confuse it with hunger and the anxiety goes away for a moment but it comes back and I eat again, it has no end.

[@virginiaparker9450]

Love you Mel! Need all of this. I’m tired of analysis paralysis 😊

[@NoGreaterLove_3]

Such value, I have made a note of the ABC and will actually apply it and share it with someone very dear to me. Thanks Mel and Dr Kennedy for sharing your knowledge, experience and wisdom with all who actually might not be able to spend a lot of money on therapy. Imagine a world where we all get to actually heal our child-self, oh what a world we would have.Much Love

[@barbarastead1227]

The One that I do know is that in many people, there is major anxiety but it’s way too complicated to change people with anxiety. People need much stronger help than what you are requesting. Mental health is excruciatingly heart breaking every time we have it.

[@racheltagg5347]

I love both parts of this anxiety session. My mind is blown at how I am relating to it all and am on the road to acknowledging my inner injured child and it does help all this advice. Thankyou so much Mel 😘 you always bring a step to healing every podcast x

[@Courts0788]

Mel Robbins and Dr Kennedy, I am GRATEFUL FOR YOU tonight!

[@maisonjournals6007]

Wow… so so amazing, awful anxiety at the moment. (Like I think I am going mad) due to what should be an amazing and exciting time in my life, at the age of 50, a move from London to France, feels like my dream for many years has become a night mare but it seems I am associating this with a terrible trauma I had as a child and repeated again in my late teens, so I know what I have to do, I can’t thank you enough xx

[@MarionObyrne-dt7ml]

Feel stuck

[@andrewzaltman6934]

Thank you Ms. Robbins! You have great podcasts! I suffer from anxiety for my entire life and I am 61 soon.

[@andrewzaltman6934]

I lost my mother at 21 months. Yes. I was very unsafe. However, I am also very resilient!!

[@ethneeontario3508]

Thank you dr Russ, I’ve watched part 1 and been visiting my younger self, multiple times a day..she now meets me facing me when I come visit. At first a hard rigid back staring out the bedroom window with a knife in hand, pointed to her chest. Since, she’s handed me the knife, or the knife is laying on the ground discarded. The visits are changing. Sometimes she’s sitting waiting for me and giving a little jump for joy, happy to see me. Thank you Mel and Dr Russ.

[@user-iv2nh8mr4k]

This video pointed out many of the reason for my anxiety. After watching only 15mins, I know this gonna help me. I always wake up in the middle of the night and having really bad anxiety attack. When I was kid, my parents fight a lot during the night because of my dads drinking issue. I know exactly why I am having the anxiety and after watching this video I know how to heal myself in a correct way. Thank you guys.

[@xannaz9226]

Sometimes it takes me a few days to get through the video, but I never find them too long. Since she only does the podcast Mondays and Thursdays, sometimes it's nice to string it out.

[@angiereppe2479]

Thank You BOTH! I just powered through both episodes because this perspective is new to me but makes so much sense! Wow. Will definitely practice recognizing the alarms in my body and start trying to retrain my brain. And when Doc threw in the term Alpha Child at the end... never have heard that term before but that is ME. I love all of this and want to keep learning more. Thanks again and see you both in 3 months!! ❤

[@bonnie_nelms]

Another meaningful visit with you and Dr. Kennedy. I feel teary hearing the story about young Chris in his baseball uniform, doing the best he can when nobody’s there for him….feeling that everything is always up to him. I relate to that so much…one of my core beliefs. It’s exhausting…no wonder I’ve dealt with chronic fatigue for 60 years and all my efforts to address it have been unsuccessful. It’s amazing to me that you and Chris were able to make a loving and lasting marriage and to be such great parents, given what each of you was dealing with. I was unsuccessful at marriage and parenting despite my best efforts and intentions.

[@zakiacamillo2988]

I learned so much about anxiety watching this video. Thank you so much for this gift. It is truly a blessing for me, and I know it is for others as well ❤❤🙏

[@alefonsecavenegas8311]

Thank you so much!! you two gave me light of what is happening to me now that life is not appealing to me anymore

[@sandralulu777]

Mel thank you!! Dr. Kennedy thank you!! Mel how wonderful that you are doing this for us!! I am truly grateful as I did not know where to turn at one point for help you showed up in my life. Thank you I shal keep up with the 3 day sessions and get the workbook downloaded now. Much love sent your way.

[@allycroc1]

I loved this and really loved Dr. Kennedy. What a gift, indeed!❤

[@belindangesa8330]

Thank you guys..its been a blessing to have you here.

[@denipar69]

Thank you so much for these insightful videos on this challenging topic! Perfect timing!

[@smssms7167]

Thanks Mel, i started to have a bit anxiety and it made me realize why it happened. I have been discomnected from my body. always running away from my own issues or prolonging them. I need to show up for me and do whats good for me in here and now. Yes its difficult, but if i do just a closer step to my dreams i know i will make it and start to listen to me.

[@jacki6301]

Thank you both. A great lesson in so many ways.

[@sigridtidmore6984]

Love the combo of you and Dr. Kennedy. What a healing combination! What a feast, “thought for food.” Thank you!

[@debbysimon120]

I just found you. Your my hope. I am in so much pain from anxiety and pain from all the disappointments in my life. I am going to try my hardest to follow your techniques. God bless you.

[@kimpociask987]

Thank you so so much Mel and Dr. Kennedy!

[@elifelcindereli8164]

I love Mel's clear and understandable way of speaking, I listen and learn English, and it also adds very valuable information to people's lives in terms of content.🥰

[@sarahvasquez580]

Thank you Mel and Dr. Kennedy, you have changed and empowered me and my family.❤

[@user-qh5dz7ur2u]

This was just amazing! So helpful, really makes us understand our patterns, and how to unblock the thoughts that keep us prisoners for so long. Thank you, Dr. Kennedy, for your knowledge and insight about the source where we can truly heal. Thank you, Mel Robbins, for clarifying, once and for all, that it is not rationalizing too much about things that will help us. Thank you for your excellent podcasts, they are the best. Huge fan from Portugal.

[@mariacarrizo3927]

Mel, you had the most profound questions! Thank you.

[@cattyboo719]

Honest to God Mel this is such a fantastic video. I have been searching for these answers, and I am actually at my wits end with this anxiety at times because I want to heal naturally. I am an older gal just going through some life changes lately and the anxiety is kicking up. I don’t want have to go on medication‘s -I really want to feel great again and know I can. I do exercise and I eat correctly etc. but it seems the sleep thing is very difficult!!!- waking up at 3 AM, Heart pounding worrying about this, worrying about that. Thank you so much for this information. It really helps so much. God bless!!

[@ronzspin2570]

Thank you Mel Robbins and Dr Russel Kennedy appreciate it

[@user-yu2ot6xu7r]

Honestly, this video makes me want to cry because it really touches home for me.Yeah, my mom was out of the car, said dad, yet me long story.Short, I wasn't really beat down.Nobody ever loved me that I've done something wrong.Not to develop and be loved.I just pray to God that you'll bless all the ones after me.Not that hasn't let them go through where I have

[@LK-3000]

This was a very informative podcast. Thanks to you and thanks to Dr. Kennedy for giving me useful strategies.

[@2011iryna]

This has been a groundbreaking podcast for me.. So much I have listened about anxiety but information here has made me think about it in a different way completely. I am taking on board that I need to give love and support to my inner child who was raised in an unsafe environment with lots of separation... Not to neglect but feel it... Literally... I finally have my answer to WHY... thank you so much for this eposode... 🙏

[@aprilhauptman6071]

I love this! Thank you Mel & Dr Kennedy! So much amazing information! I hope you get together again soon I learned so much from you both!

[@kathyduer7108]

Love you both so much. What a treat to have you together ❤❤❤

[@rosemaryarguello9194]

This by far one of the best podcast I've seen so far. I got kind of emotional numerous times because I felt for the first time in my life I'm really not alone. I also feel I got a better understanding of my anxiety disorder with Dr Kennedy explaining reasons down to traumatic childhood events . I'm currently on page 1 in my journey for healing and recovery, Thank you Mel and Dr Kennedy for this podcast. I look forward too many more.

[@aprilhauptman6071]

These 2 episodes are amazing. Thank you

[@annaread3829]

Thank you both for this eye opening talk!! I’m going to try these techniques!

[@salonsavy6476]

Yes I definitely know that my anxiety stems from my childhood,,I vividly remember when I first felt it,, I was 5

[@andrewzaltman6934]

This gentleman is brilliant and insightful!!!😊

[@phases_of_nora13]

This was the episode! Mel thank you so much!

[@melissataliani925]

Thank you Mel ❤ I love you so much

[@g.angelsalvaje]

I am so thankful for this

[@xlrcsamshikhbahaei4661]

Thank you.

[@kimpociask987]

absolutely, the most amazing video I have ever seen, and I have tried everything to help me with my anxiety, that I think I finally got the right knowledge to help me start to get rid of this horrible disorder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@ethneeontario3508]

Yes, yes, yes! As a child and adult obsessed with death. Rehearsing how I would cope, imagining loved ones dying and for real crying about it so that when it happened I would not be devastated but could then help others through their grief cause I’ve made peace with it years prior! I even mourned my dog few years ago got a 3D picture my dog still alive, 11 years old 😢

[@yokofashionpassion]

Thankyou Mel and Russell!

[@ivettea5368]

Absolutely amazing video !

[@mariatwachtman4962]

Thank you to both of you ❤

[@Happy2bme2dae]

I really want to be onboard with you Mel. I'm new to your village.😊 I just wish you wouldn't be using the f word since I've been recommending you to many of my friends 🙏 who are not so used to hearing that. Thanks Mel!👍

[@helenbrady9066]

Excellent video - thank you Mel. I have signed up for your take control training!

[@laurareardoncoaching]

Thank you to both you and Dr Kennedy for these powerful episodes on anxiety. There is one thing I feel confused about...I understand that we want to start with calming the sensations in our body because that supports our return to regulation, and I understand that we can create healing by connecting with our younger self in a way that helps them feel seen and understood - safe, but I feel confused by the message that our thoughts will only make things worse. For example, isn't "I am safe in this moment" a thought? Would it be accurate to say that our thoughts are an important piece of the puzzle because they can influence our emotions, it's just that we need to start by calming our body first?

[@justinsingh221]

That is so true and very in depth :)

[@JackieRardin]

Extraordinarily helpful. Can’t wait to learn more thru Dr Kennedy’s book. Thanks you for excellent content

[@honestlygio7830]

Super thumbs up! To the pt 2. Practical 4. Relatable 5. Dives in to the human psychology from ancient times which does affect the modern times.

[@zaramiller6568]

The most helpful information I've heard, so many things make so much more sense. Thank you thank you for sharing this information. 🙏

[@CarolynMScofield]

❤❤❤ Excellent podcast!! Thank you for what you do!!

[@mariatwachtman4962]

Mel Robbins you are amazing 🎉

[@KhushSoul]

Hello Mel, thank you for sharing this podcast. I’ve recently come across self-compassion practice and Dr. Kristin Neff’s work and you kind of discuss the compassion part in your podcast, which had helped you so much. Just wondering if you would consider having her on your podcast and using your style of a story telling and asking questions to explore more about self-compassion?

[@triciadreas9835]

Thank you so much ❤

[@EnaBeleno]

Thank you so much for these episodes it helped me a lot.

[@MelissaTenhave-re2oe]

I'd love to hear Dr. Kennedy's thoughts about EMDR therapy and how it can be done properly

[@UnacceptableTee]

Great guest. Great questions Mel !!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻Yes childhood is a huge part of my anxiety, ruminating, catastrophizing, also big traumas as adult. Like unbelievably traumatic. Sleeping with my man ; involves no sleep if I’m nit listening to Podcasts or meditation or loud rain sounds as his snoring is so so so so loud. I sleep. I need tools to deal with extreme anxiety with issues completely out of my control such as having surgery or flying on airplane. Months before I’m not sleeping and thinking about it all day long. 😭 I’m safe in my bed at night. I’m the moment I’m safe. How do you deal with the minutes before going under anesthesia or boarding a plane? lying on operating room bed; we lay saying I’m safe in this moment? It doesn’t feel true to say we are safe. We can’t go for a walk( mor move. So think of things that makes us smile? I suppose when I really think about it; a surgeon and team highly skilled and experienced so I suppose that’s something. Ugh. I need some help with this.

[@evaramirez7665]

Makes so much sense with the sleep issue.

[@christielove448]

Thank you Mel.

[@jodiegall3366]

Thank you so much

[@summergaytan8316]

I Love this Dr.

[@yousun4177]

When like I am ; alone … it is so hard not to feel anxiety. Most of all in the evening. #I #wish #MEL #ROBBINS WILL ANSWER at least some questions in KZbin 🫶🏻🥴

[@kristalhumphreys4621]

Loving Dr Kennedy❤❤

[@MarleneHen]

This is great. Just yesterday, I decided that I have anxiety issues. This podcast makes me understand why taking a deep breath and consciously relaxing my body helps so much.

[@awaitingdisaster17]

Something that helps me with racing thoughts at night is imagining a scenario. I first imagine an empty room. No windows, no doors just space. Then I imagine a large box, almost coffin like. I will try to make everything super simple, so just a plain brown box with a lid that opens on a hinge. Then, every thought I have, I imagine the lid of the box opening, the thought going in and the lid closing on it. It took me some time to get it right, because the thoughts can take over but everytime I do it, I fall asleep after and that is the last thing I remember when I wake up. It has helped me a lot to just quiet my mind enough to fall asleep.

[@michelerogers9899]

Great episode. Learned some tips on handling my anxiety. The ABC tip that the doctor gave was good 😊

[@bonez2002]

This is amazing gold!! ❤

[@sergeabd]

in few minutes i felt a new panic attack and i used a technique that i learned from you yesterday and it works ... thank you so much

[@sherrymorrow1688]

Life changing!!!

[@user-qi9og5jv3x]

Thank you!

[@inthevortex-de1rh]

I love this topic. I get up every morning with a panic attack.😮

[@rosemaryarguello9194]

Thanks!

[@dianahorel3869]

As I work on my anxiety and have energy for other things, I don't know what to do, where to start living my life, and I am grieving for all the time lost.

[@zillahbugeja8973]

Thank you both. Would love help with autoimmune problems related to anxiety.

[@gordon.5556]

Thank you Mel and Dr Kennedy. I get head pressure and like itchy sinuses that can give me mini dizzy zaps with anxiety. Been checked by Doctors all fine. Any advice please. Thank you both so much.

[@Madlymarmalade]

❤ thank you

[@christinelucasschroth8962]

Just wanted to say you’re great I mean since I watch a show every day and it doesn’t motivate me to get up and do some shit that I have to do sometimes I’m still in bed right now, but I was just listening to your show them I guess you take your self in the ass and get going cause I still got shit to do keep on rocking you’re great

[@christinelucasschroth8962]

Gm Mel. Laying in bed watching a show today and it was about just get up and do what you have to do and I don’t know what you have so many shows that I watch don’t think your great help me a lot but I’m struggling with the death of my husband that’s August it was a narcissist 26 years of marriage I’m 61 and I don’t know what to do really rest of my life

[@user-wt1jd4rc9n]

I began to feel anxiety from a very young age and to eat sweet breads, butter cookies, everything that contained flour, sugar, dairy products, fats, in large quantities during certain times. My body learned that those foods eliminated feelings of anxiety. Over the years I developed the disease of compulsive eating as an addiction. Now I am understanding why I became addicted to eating especially certain foods every time I felt anxiety, and I came to completely confuse the difference between true hunger and a feeling of anxiety.

[@darrickhullum5453]

Thank u

[@sorayainsignares]

Amazing ❤

[@kristapeeters6947]

Late question, anxiety in adults being learned by kids and breaking generational patterns, I'm working on this now. What should parents do when grandparents are almost promoting anxiety in kids? The grandparents see constant worry and doom and gloom as normal, im trying to prevent that pattern in my children however the grandparents are very pushy with causing worry in the kids. What is the right way to navigate this ?

[@jodiegall3366]

I do that a lot, because I’ve received so many calls being told something bad has happened