Surviving an Online Predator

[@restorative-waves]

The statement "I'm not weak for wanting love" really hit a soft spot, and landed in more healing. Especially because I relate to your experience so much. Again, thank you.

[@alexad7592]

no she’s not weak for wanting love. but she’s weak for putting up with less than ideal treatment from a grown man.

[@saraholdham9573]

The fact that the FBI agent took time and sat them down and showed the dudes true colors after they defended him trying to blame themselves. That is a true helpful gem of a human. What a pivotal point to make them realize that this was definitely not love and it was infact grooming

[@Katevolvinglightfairy222]

Be careful with BETTER HELP YALL. Many scams and people loosing money :(

[@helixxia9320]

weird to see so many giving them exposure when i thought it was well known how they have been with customers

[@barbrothers2]

do that many people not have insurance to get therapy via? you know, like for free? i have the crappiest state medicaid and even i am able to get therapy (though it was hard to find a provider that takes said crappy insurance, still possible)

[@mikeoxlong777]

@@barbrothers2the thing is “crappy state medicaid” is free most of the time. a lot of people can’t afford insurance yet also “make too much” to qualify for medicaid. Also medicaid covers A LOT.

[@breakingbruh4930]

@@barbrothers2 yes its difficult in many places and it can also be hard to find a good therapist. i was able to get therapy thru state insurance when i was a kid but now as an adult its more of a struggle to get the same insurance

[@Gothiccpixie]

Are you going to pay for her channel to keep posting videos?

[@reaganbrianne2241]

This one brought me to tears. Her speaking of how easily she recognizing the objectification of women EVERYWHERE now spoke to me so clearly. I’ve always been told I’m sensitive or dramatic for that, and tried to convince myself the same. It’s real and it comes from real trauma. Thank you for this episode.

[@Lowrix100]

men get objectified too, it goes both ways

[@Rachelxxc]

@@Lowrix100 lol ok

[@pinkpugginz]

​@@Lowrix100😂

[@melodythompson762]

Please no more better help sponsorships. You’re better than them

[@johnnyflannigan136]

They may be a good service.. As long as you're talking to someone who actually has a degree in psychology.. Whats the harm?

[@chepasquoifaire]

@@johnnyflannigan136 kzbin.info/www/bejne/r4OTopqghraeorM

[@Leemko]

Maybe she is contractually obligated to promote them so maybe give it time until the contract expires

[@elizab3770]

hello fresh is dodgy too. i’m sure it’s hard to find ethical sponsorships but it does give me the ick every time i see it.

[@MurdaMeg]

She has even said in another podcast that she tried them ONCE and didn’t like it. She said it felt rushed or something along those lines. It’s in the episode where she talks to the guest therapist 😂

[@averyames4584]

I grew up with her and she is truly an incredible human to talk to. She will do amazing things fighting for children and their protection

[@casey5683]

She seems that way!

[@Dobermanmomma]

This woman has the potential to help ALOT of people because she describes verbatim what happens with sexual predators. Also, when children are abused young enough they may not be able to develop the words to describe what has happened and their memory may be impaired by CPTSD because the mind naturally blacks out to protect itself. Someone that got to this level of healing and awareness with the clarity and platform to describe it can speed up the healing process for alot of people.

[@THABANND]

Keep your head up boss

[@ritafarruggio2025]

I think the same of you

[@MellowJelly]

It seems out of pocket for the FBI agent to show her a screenshot of Billy actually talking bad about her behind her back, but that is so integral to help a victim realize they were indeed exploited, and was the right thing to do. Not sure if all professionals would realize how important that is and do the same, but they should

[@aubrianna8881]

when i was 15 i was groomed online by a 19 year old in prison and spoke to many other even older adult men online. education on this is so important

[@mikuenjoyerXD]

🫂 same girl. May they all rot in hell

[@nikemaraje5]

It's universal I believe 🤮

[@BrittneyBritt17]

As a parent this is my worst nightmare. Thank you ladies for sharing, it’s truly eye opening.

[@AmarisAngel]

When I was 14-15 I was groomed by someone who was 24

[@carm0017]

Same but far older. I’m very glad they shared this story

[@kaylavarela7215]

I love the way she communicated especially the part about not being able to break out of what you’ve been endocrine to bc no one understands or cares that the damage was done wayyyy before when you were too young to consent or know and now you still can’t get help bc you’re an adult and everyone expects you to figure it out yourself.

[@KyKudos]

I've only gotten out this type of situation recently, I really wish people wouldn't judge victims as much as they do.

[@Dobermanmomma]

Yep. If something bad happens to you your told to talk about it just to be made out to be a fool further victimized. God bless our world.

[@mollyohalloran9675]

here if you need someone your not alone🩷

[@MurdaMeg]

I’m 32 now but I have a similar story to the one shared on this podcast. Started chatting in chat rooms and I was absolutely groomed. It also took me YEARS to recognize what happened. The fact that you recognize and acknowledge what happened (or is happening) is the 1st step. I’m so glad you are out of the situation now. ❤

[@alvaskyllerstrom]

hope ur doing okay

[@THABANND]

Everything is going to be ok .

[@alyshag4088]

She was a very great speaker and I wish her good luck in her healing journey.

[@eliseantoinette9762]

I didn’t expect to relate to this so much…glad to hear someone articulate things I’ve felt for a decade so well. I feel horrible for her but I feel better knowing I’m not alone

[@kirageorge1924]

THIS! Yes

[@astramisie]

Same story

[@MellowJelly]

100% man. I was traumatized by porn as a young kid and I'm still only recently realizing that it counts as a valid form of sexual abuse when someone exposes a child to porn. I thought I was just being over-dramatic and there was something wrong with me; everything in society tells young girls they need to be okay with graphic violent porn and performing sexual acts like they're a pornstar. It's horrific what it did to my brain and I'm still sex-repulsed at times, and porn-repulsed, probably forever

[@annaloverlee8374]

We definitely need to have more of these open-minded conversations about porn without being shamed or labeled as a prude if you see porn as being problematic.

[@stefslaughter496]

Exactly! I sexualized myself for a very long time just like her and when my soul couldn’t take anymore, I saw the evil and objectification that is porn. I relate to her views on porn 100% and it feels like nobody understands

[@pinkpugginz]

that's what the industry and a lot of men are trying so hard to do. is normalize this abusive addiction. it activates the same part of your brain as a cocaine and rewires everything. I bet in the future things will change. more science will come out and legislation will change. it's hurting so many kids.

[@jammertime619]

I have never truly understood what it’s like to resonate so strongly with a person’s story. Thank you both for sharing.

[@X.o.Anna.x.o]

At 15 I was basically being groomed by a 35yr old who I thought at the time loved me. It’s something I haven’t really talked about out loud but it’s disturbing to even think about.

[@MacGurl98]

Devorah, using your platform for this is incredible! I watch all your episodes and every single one of them has opened my eyes up and educated me on so many topics. This woman is so well spoken and will help so many people. Love this and the podcast!! 😁

[@solarisxx444]

I was groomed when I was 14 or 15 by a 19 or 20 year old online. I still feel so much shame about it and fear that only my aunt knows. I wish I had more people I could talk to about this, hearing other survivors talk about this helps me combat feelings that if I was smarter it wouldn't have happened. The thoughts survivors of online grooming and predators have are so conflicting and hard to deal with. Thank you for allowing people to speak their story on this topic.

[@gracez.7828]

Not a lot of people talk about this, but being groomed online is for a fact assault. Even though the predator never physically touched you, they did assault you in a way by traumatizing you. It’s took so much for me to realize that I was assaulted (groomed by predators). Because for so long I down played what happened to me and compared what happened to me, being groomed online, to someone who actually got assaulted. Like I thought I meant way less compared to someone who was actually assaulted. But at the end of the day, we are survivors of what they’ve done to us, whether or not it was online or not.

[@alexad7592]

the word is not assault sorry honey

[@pinkpugginz]

​@alexad7592 youre all over these comments being a creepy and harassing people.

[@alexad7592]

@@pinkpugginz do u know what harrasment actually is. not your own interpretation or opinion but the actual by law detention? if your too slow to realize that’s a rhetorical question as u obviously don’t. if ur ignorant and uneducated just say that honey

[@alexad7592]

@@pinkpugginz and clearly ur the one being a creep sitting there digging through the comments searching for me😭😭😭🥱🤢 next 👋

[@tqttle]

i don’t particularly think i was groomed, at least on purpose. but when i was 13 my 16yo BEST friend online would always sexualize me, turned out she had a crush on me. when she once explained her daydream about me to me i cried so hard man, i felt so violated. it sucks:/

[@Yo_mama696]

I’m so happy they shared their story it truly takes guts to share something as personal and traumatizing as this I truly hope they’re doing better

[@krissi_kreations]

This video was so triggering for me, but not in a bad way but more of an eye opening moment. I’m 39 and married 15 years to a good man, but the things that happened to me as a teen and young 20’s really reflects on the issues I struggle with to this day. Thank you both for sharing ❤

[@rae3432]

I'm so glad I found this video. Her story is so similar to mine in so many ways, and hearing another person actually verbalise the feelings of self-doubt and brainwashing etc that happens as a result of being groomed... it's so validating to hear and helps me to better understand my own experiences so I can continue to heal from it. This deserves way more views and honestly inspires me to speak more about my past if it can help others in the same way this helped me.

[@alittleblawg]

23:06 lines up so much with my experience, being assaulted and it hitting you that someone you trusted doesn’t care and then crying and being unsure why. and then after that having a distorted view on sex and love as well. hearing stories like this is so important bc even hearing others validate their story has helped me and no doubt many more

[@2xMs2xyz]

This is my favorite episode thus far, the guest spoke with such eloquence and awareness and put many things into words that I still struggle with. It’s inspiring to see someone be able to verbalize these feelings so well, and have the courage to put her story out there. I hope that she is in a better place mentally and physically, she deserves nothing but the best

[@Mfari444]

Real genuine sweet love definitely exists!! My husband and I have been married for 10 years and we are still madly in love. Obviously we get annoyed here and there and squabble… but we want the best for each other and care deeply for each other!! It’s out there ladies!!

[@Tara-cv2kz]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to share that I had the same thought as you about online safety. As a child, I was only ever told that people online are dangerous when they know your full name and where you live. I thought as long as you lied about those things, you were completely safe. It is NOT enough to tell children only those things.

[@youngmomvlogs-stormycain4809]

Hearing her tell her story and how she’s recovered, and hearing how she know is able to empower herself, is beyond inspiring. I’m so happy that we finally have education for the youth being pushed and these things are being talked about. And how to bounce back!

[@yeah9720]

as a victim of a similar situation this is a very validating story to hear. i noticed myself passing judgement and calling this person a “bad victim” for a lack of better words. this criticism is a thought i often feel towards myself, the same sense of blame, disgust, and guilt that comes with this type of grooming and abuse. people tend to undermine the physical danger in these situations as well, not only can these abusers track their victims in various ways to act on their perversions, but oftentimes they will manipulate their victims into handing over that information willingly rather than committing a crime to obtain it. this kind of manipulation is intentionally designed to prevent the victim from reaching out for help, regardless of their physical presence. that flip can switch at any second. sharing stories like this is so so important for survivors, current victims, and risk prevention.

[@Peanutbuttbby]

This is really sad, because it’s very relatable too me, when I was young like 11,12,13 I was groomed online by a lot of guys that were 25+ and they would force me too send pics or they would do something bad, it’s so sad because like 99% of women and girls I know have had some sort of experience like this, and it needs to stop

[@zayla1382]

She was great! She’s amazing for sharing her story and helping others.. not everyone can do this

[@oxskyxo2028]

please actually look into better help before promoting it.

[@ava_adamsg]

she probably has a contract

[@jamieannbautista5647]

I resonated so much with everything Ehren said, and it's interesting hearing someone experience something similar that I felt so alone in. Luckily, I had people who cared about me enough to help me realize what was happening to me before anything physical happened in person -- I was 15 and he was waiting til I turned 18 before doing anything in person. That was two years of my life that I can't get back and I still see how that experience affected my past and current relationships.

[@nia-jv6qy]

what she said about shame holding survivors back is so real.

[@katier0se]

She's amazing and her message is so important. Women are so powerful and it's time we stand in our power.

[@acrylic7246]

Thank you and the individual in this episode for sharing this story ❤ love the pod, lots of love to you both.

[@christinehuang9739]

I stumbled upon this channel randomly and am in awe with how it's ran. You let them speak yet ask very good questions that a lot of us viewers may be thinking. This channel really open our eyes to so many things and have a different perspective. You give them a platform to freely talk about their story and although traumatizing, I'm sure being able to tell their full story is also therapeutic for them. Keep up the awesome work and never change how you're running the podcast as this channel continues to grow!! Love that the set up is simplistic, intimate, and nonjudgmental.

[@eddiesland93]

This episode shows a lot of courage coming out with the story.❤

[@muchahmuaboutnothing2205]

She’s an incredible human.

[@IHEARTCOQUETTECLOTHES.777]

I am happy for you. Best of luck.

[@starlie420]

this is a very very informative episode I've seen on this channel. the way she articulates herself so everyone (the ones that haven't/have been SA) understand what she went through as a child. i feel like people hear about SA, but we don't really talk about the psychological trauma that you go through during that moment and after, she explained it so well.

[@Mamabear001]

She did so amazing! Wow. She’s truly a survivor and god bless her for having the strength to share her story and being so vulnerable with us ❣️❣️

[@rebeccagrossi8352]

Never cried harder in my life. I really resonate w how she handled her "relationships" after all of that happened, I acted thr same way. Took me a long time to realize that i wasnt just a body.

[@rebeccagrossi8352]

@JenkemOD ? Why do you think that

[@maxamaya__]

😢 people are so scary. I’m glad you’re slowly moving on and that you were able to find the help that you needed

[@mzeena7]

ahhhhhhh this one hit hard, i didnt know i needed someone to say so many of these things out loud! shes so articulate! and so are you

[@chllin22]

“Am I doing this because I want to or because I learned this is how I should be” and the gag is for the most part we will never know! Even if we DO want to, is it because we want to be how we should be or because we TRULY want to? Being a woman is exhausting!

[@meghanfaith2185]

Ehren is such a good speaker on top of being funny. Listening to this I just felt like her and I would get along. She is a huge light in the world

[@e.t.3074]

This really made some things and feelings arise that I've been avoiding for years. Thank you. I need to process the things I went through as a child, who just wanted acceptance online.

[@MadESG]

I definitely relate to giving my everything to a man I’m in a relationship and letting them define who I am as a woman just so they’ll stay. It really is an exciting feeling when you realize that YOU get to decide what your relationship looks like, you get to decide your standards and boundaries and ask yourself what you want your healthy relationship to look like ☺️ She did such a great job! Thanks for sharing your story.

[@chllin22]

THIS IS THE CONVERSATION THAT NEEDED TO BE HAD OMG. So nuanced.

[@Katinahat293]

This is devastatingly relatable. we’ve been through the same things just slightly different scenarios. Wild. Thank you for sharing

[@washabi8813]

Loved this episode, Ehren was such a great story teller. It's very inspiring to see someone turn their trauma around into empowerment and helping others. Thank you Ehren

[@junemarieweaver974]

She is so well-spoken. Thank you for telling your story. ❤

[@babydemon666]

Every week, I'm so intrigued by the episode title I immediately click. I wish all these guests the best. ❤️

[@lakid9749]

This is such a great pod cast !! This is my 3rd epi. Love the interviewer as she actually lets her guest speak and isn’t trying to get into the spotlight. Its flows, its comfortable and honest. Glad I found you 😊

[@courtnicole828]

Such a good episode. Everything she said resonates with my journey. We all need resources to identify what real love is! ❤

[@gloriapallanes4425]

I think this just made me realize why I have some of the issues that I have. Thank you.

[@theblakeney]

I love Ehren's energy. Such a good presenter, such a strong person. The intentional introspection is so respectable

[@nyssaangel8828]

Ok I’m only 11 minutes in and I want to know more because I am a mom of a daughter in this new web world. Even though as a millennial myself I met dangerous predators and backed away on the internet… the technology is gettin so good and fast for pedos who can manipulate younger and younger. I love this podcast already because it shows how easy it is for an teen/adult to be manipulated. It’s that’s much easier with a child on the internet and that’s scary as fuck. Thank you for showing me what can happen.

[@ehrensjournal]

It's about super young children understanding that if anyone wants them to keep a secret, that isn't a safe person. Secret-keeping is bad. The act of normalizing secret-keeping with children is how so many predators begin the process of entrapping children and isolating them from the parents. More parents can help their kids by understanding this very simple concept

[@pabloescobarschanclas]

the first mistake was bringing a child into this messed up world. so long as they have a phone in their hand or access to the internet, they’re not safe.

[@y2ksurvivor]

​@@pabloescobarschanclasignorant.

[@chllin22]

Ehren you are so inspiring. You dissect your own emotions and behaviors through such a critical lense. I really aim to learn to decipher what I TRULY want versus what I think I want. I’ve come a far way but I have SO much farther to go.

[@sarahyoungp79]

The eloquence with wich you both speak is so refreshing and a beautiful thing to witness. As someone who was trafficked to a 15 yr old by my stepdad when I was 8 for a drug deal, I get the confusion about self esteem part big time. And I totally agree with being so empowered by owning your choices as you heal. If people could understand how good it feels to take your power back, and believe it, how helpful that would be. Kudos, ladies. 💞🙌🏼

[@swagmanmjn]

she is such a good speaker and a great storyteller oh my gosh

[@barbaranaiman9783]

Ehren you did a amazing job about telling your story about predators. It was full of information for children and their parents what to look for. Devorah your amazing with your podcasts keep up the great work your doing.❤️👌👍

[@paisleyrae207]

This is so sad. I remember (I think her and I are the same age) talking to so many predators through AIM back in the day luckily I never met any of them but it’s nuts to think of how many of them were ok talking to an 11 year old girl. They are everywhere! 🤢🤢

[@kathrynkroll5700]

Wow. What an amazing woman. Much gratitude for her well considered (and spoken) sharing of her experience. Also, love her sense of humor! Great guest and sensible advocate for how grooming can look and leave a lasting impact on ones self-esteem. Thank you for creating the space for her to speak.

[@yahayra7679]

Ehren is so well spoken, and explains her thoughts so clearly

[@BrittneyBritt17]

This guest has such a sweet loving energy,unfortunately people prey on those types. ❤

[@tiggytaylor4607]

This helped me feel so validated. Thank you for sharing your experience

[@Tamsin_bear]

When she said “if you are doing it because you feel like a failure if you don’t” that hit me really hard. Literally feel like I have to be drunk to be able to have sex now, because it’s become traumatic for me. And it’s not my partners fault, he has no idea I feel like this

[@free-the-whales]

Internet safety needs to be taught worldwide

[@chllin22]

I think porn is SO bad for kids because you NEED to explore yourself and your own body at your own pase and way before you see other people doing it. Otherwise you’re learning that sexual pleasure is defined based on how porn is and how society says it should be, not based on the actual feeling. I don’t know a solution as to help children have healthy sexual development. It is so hard and seemingly impossible to allow them to develop in a safe way. And how do you do that without overstepping or jumping the gun?

[@Ana0bella0goth0fox]

Listening to stories like these makes me realize how incredibly rare my own experience with sexuality is, and how grateful I am for it. I don't know if I've just been extremely lucky or if I have some kind of subconscious mechanism that makes me avoidant with these fucked up types of people, but I've only really tasted the bitterness and toxicity of modern dating and relationships after my second relationship ended. The world is a scary place, and we all need more empathy in our lives for it.

[@lilyyy45]

I absolutely love your podcast & every person who comes in to share their story they’re so inspiring. But please stay mindful when having better help as your sponsor they have a reputation where “psychologists” don’t turn up to appointments on time or at all and often times they aren’t even fully qualified at all.

[@leaann.k]

i love you so much. thank you for being you and making my days better by giving everyone a voice 🖤

[@k.poe.edwards_836]

It’s wild hearing from another person from Missouri who’s been through what I have. Obviously, I’m not the only one that’s been through this in my state, it’s just crazy to me putting a face to someone who’s similar

[@blancaperla5898]

Crazy how I relate so much to her story and I didn’t even know I would

[@terenzo50]

“The real cycle you're working on is a cycle called yourself.” ― Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values / Ehren filled in a lot of gaps. Not all, but quite a few. Very glad to have seen it. The journey continues with a good deal less worry now.

[@evi3977]

Ive been through something similar when i was 17, and ive just blamed myself for everything since i should have known better ,but ive been learning to not blame myself entirely. its still hard dealing with it but im trying.

[@gabbysky]

this is the only podcast i can sit down and listen to

[@raindrops_keepfalling4331]

“You wanna let people get to know you as who you are, not defined by your trauma.” ^This. This. This.^

[@AB-dj1mr]

Real love and real good men exist!! Keep looking for those gems. I have been married to my rock and best friend for 8 years now.

[@brianne317]

This was such a refreshing podcast and honestly, reminded me of things that women need to be reminded of more. I got chills listening to Ehren speak and their advice for young women. Thank you for this episode and thank you Ehren for speaking about your story!

[@KimmySemak]

I love how transparent Ehren is.

[@kingworm7168]

19:05 this is why open communication between parents and kids is SO important. We can’t stop them from making the choices they are gonna make, we can only love them and be a safe place to land. So many instances like this could be prevented if only the kids weren’t afraid to talk to their parents

[@Iamrachel908]

God the part about your parent’s divorce and how that impacted your childhood is scarily similar to my own life

[@isabelebaunsgard4974]

I had such a similar experience in my childhood. It wasn't online though, other children around me/friends would expose me to porn and it always made me feel uncomfortable. I felt like there was something wrong with me since they enjoyed it and I didn't. As an adult I've had such a hard time feeling comfortable with sex. As a teenager I thought I was asexual because the thought of having sex was so unappealing at the time. I'm so uncomfortable with exposing myself and being in that kind of vulnerable position around my partner. I've always felt shameful/guilty/unclean during sex, talking about/engaging in sexual activities, and for enjoying sex. I've felt like something was just wrong with me for so long and have only just recently realized in the past year or so how much those experiences in my childhood have affected my relationship with sex.

[@helixxia9320]

Same 100%

[@helixxia9320]

did you have very religious family? could that have made it worse in making you feel dirty about what you saw. what you wrote really match my experience but i had religious influence over me too that has probably made me extra holding on to this kind of way of feeling after being exposed to nasty stuff at a young age and having problems ridding this feeling even as an adult

[@caity2hip466]

I was sheltered too, grew up in a Christian household my dad was a pastor and I was groomed multiple times by multiple men. It sucks but exposure and knowledge is power

[@iloveyouJDS]

LOVE that you just let them tell the story and dont butt in too much!!

[@heylelreign]

DO NOT use better help!

[@sofftskies3769]

i hate how much this reminds me of my abuse. jeez

[@aleeeeeeexoxo]

girl ur still working w better help? after u literally said in another episode that it sucks? literally name one person who actually benefited from it. ppl get scammed + incompetent ‚help‘ + they sell consumer data… so much for mental health 🥴🥴

[@KELLYKH]

Thank you for sharing this!

[@jasmynita]

Wow. This is profound. Thank u so much for sharing your story!!! #survivor #hero #amazing

[@sierracrick7423]

I would love to do an episode about being a student athlete in college and the things that people don’t know or see when watching

[@Sirenamia777]

The initial part of the interview is kind of triggering. Something like that kind of happened to me and It makes me mad grown adults have access to kids to ruin them and exploit them online

[@bamfnathalie]

Very informative video. It’s difficult to hear and to know many children and young adolescents go through things like this. Educate and empower ✊🏽

[@staceyrains2316]

"How kind evil people can be" wow. Yes.

[@lottiecheahmccorry4559]

I’ve never felt so seen, specially the last parts, it brought me to tears hearing that she had to come to the same realisations as I have been as of late, because it’s really hard to accept. she spoke about every single issue that has really affected me throughout my life, I feel less alone and even more inspired to talk about my experiences and try to help people going through similar situations

[@bigb853]

Knowing your value intrinsically, in tears.

[@TrueColorReviews]

Strong woman for surviving… please make more videos for others of how you healed! Thank you for sharing your story

[@muchahmuaboutnothing2205]

She has a channel on here. :) Ehren’s Journal

[@StannyHel]

This was so therapeutic for me to hear. This woman needs to write a book!!!

[@spaghettio1995]

I connect with so much of what Ehren shared. Thank you for sharing your story.