Surviving the Dream Industry

[@hallcyon]

I don't know, I just don't know. However, I do agree with the following: “For, while the tale of how we suffer, and how we are delighted, and how we may triumph is never new, it always must be heard. There isn't any other tale to tell, it's the only light we've got in all this darkness.” ~ James Baldwin, from Sonny's Blues

[@Marcus-143]

Thank you, a very "nutritious?" video. You still got it.

[@jonathanyoungpenn2860]

The exact same thing exists in the photography industry- a middle market of people that are ‘making it’ by holding mediocre workshops, selling presets, and spending the majority of their time inflating their success (and your potential) on social media.

[@KatesFree]

You used the phrase "grinding wheel" and it made me think of this aLong Crimson lyric: "The pattern juggler lifts his hand The orchestra begin As slowly turns the grinding wheel In the court of the crimson king." Good to see you, Ben. These are bad times for creatives of all kinds, it seems.

[@ctso74]

I never worked in either the music or film industries, but I lived in LA for a decade. Made friends with plenty of aspiring actors and musicians. That promised carrot was usually just out of reach. Burnout, from both the grind and steady rejection, visibly took its toll.

[@emversustheworld]

I am so sad to hear of your losses. No, it really doesn’t happen by the power of positive thinking. 😅 “If you haven’t turned this video off yet, you need to make a plan.” I count my lucky stars I’ve made it this far winging it. I also advise that everyone at least tries to meditate. It doesn’t get lighter. You get better at carrying it.

[@levinoon]

Journalizing helps, too.

[@BenCarruth]

Absolutely, it can be very helpful! It doesn't do me much good, as my overly critical impulses kick in and I start editorializing on my own diary (i.e. purile, redundant, poorly phrased, etc).

[@levinoon]

@@BenCarruth Be careful that you don't wind up surrounded by ghosts of yourself; would be the only warning.

[@PhoenixProdLLC]

I don't really understand the emphasis on "authenticity" if it's literally sabotaging the story you're presenting, what's the point of being stubborn about poor volume?? P.S. FWIW, I like that you're a "straight shooter" about your experiences, without being a horrible jackass about it. I don't see "fame" as anything but what must feel like a horrible bit of baggage or enormous tick that gets a way bigger piece of you than it ever deserves.

[@BenCarruth]

In this case it was a matter of choosing authenticity rather than throwing away the initial (and raw) telling. It's a bit of a struggle. I have a lot of pride in craft, but I am coming to think this isn't the place for that. I can camera language, shotlist, metronome cut, and score off production swatches, but maybe this channel isn't for that. Still unsure. Always will be.

[@PhoenixProdLLC]

@@BenCarruth OK, I understand better now, sorry. I think Vimeo is probably the better platform to show out because, right now anyway, the platform is increasingly, putridly toxic and it can be extremely difficult to get any useful feedback, of any kind :/ It's like there's a general vibe that Vimeo has more 'integrity' as an artistic platform, if you will, though personally, when it comes to social media I'm not sure that's ever nearly as valued as one hopes.

[@SirLiamson]

As far as Audio quality goes, I can't even say this is one of your worst videos. Having a plan and knowing what to expect from yourself is very healthy, even if it feels like buying flood insurance. The only thing I could add is having someone in your life to be a sort of trip sitter. I suppose in a sense it could be seen as a sort of a luxury to have friends close enough to be there, but I think it is a necessary meta-aim of human existence.